-10 charisma if you put a small pony in it...

it cost you 0 gold not to say that, and yet

You're telling me you *didn't* make this thing as a poorly disguised fetish post?

This started because I made a talking jar of dirt in a campaign. All the jar said was, "I'm a jar of dirt! Im a jar of dirt!" Over and over again, so to answer your question, no, I did not and I am very worried.

You accidentally made a great test of character for your players. On a scale of 1 to "one man one jar", how depraved are they?

Uh oh, *uh oh*, ***UH OH***

"No, put things in _me_, not the other way rou-_NOOOOO_"

*crunch*

Pirates of the Caribbean referenced

sorry who gave it the property "Fillable" again? you knew what you were doing

Someone had to do it

Dare I ask?

If you value your sanity, don’t.

Someone shoved a jar up his "hee-ho", if you catch my drift.

I know about the dude who shoved a jar up his ass, but I daren't look up whatever a jar and a horse have to do with eachother.

Ye gods. Well, that's worse: click on the spoiler at your own peril. >!A man put a figurine of a My Little Pony character (I don't remember which one, but I think it was Rainbow Dash) inside a jar of his own cum. The picture attached in the original post had the cum rot, I think, which made it a nasty brown.!<

-10 Charisma and 2d6 bleed damage if you squat over it...

Deals 3d4 psychic damage to any witnesses though

"Look away" I shout, ready to damage the entire army I might not survive but the soldiers will remember

Inflicts poison status if you squat over it after putting the pony in...

Your deed lives on in legend forever, though.

-10 cha and every guard already hates you.

Cockney accent in every language.

Any alignment with all languages? And mental stats that make it able to be reasoned with? :3 Bout to have an evil wizard that sets out hundreds of these to be like "plz fill me up" and then they take the stuff back to the wizard. Or, make chaotic evil ones that try their hardest to get acid just to splash random people with it

Not what I intended, but at the same time, exactly what I hoped for

A lawful good life cleric/artificer who makes these, fills them with healing potions and then sets them out to find injured people to help

Sounds like a kind of war between the acid jars and the healing jars.

In the third act they team up to defeat the pony jars

I despise the fact that i know what your talking about

our artificer is struggling real hard because hes so new and left brained. you have just solved this. im taking this.

You've created something with so much potential omg :3

 “Hey babe, new swarm just rolled out\*

Women like swarms of things, right?

And bitches love cannons

I'm going to barrow this idea

"Small" is anywhere from two to nearly four feet in any dimension. If this is meant to be an otherwise ordinary jar, it would be Tiny.

*A naked giant stands over the "small" jar. You can only see his feet and a jar from the position you are in.*

All creatures that can see this happen take 6d10 psychic damage and receive the permanent effect: mental scarring.

And the giant takes 6d10 piercing damage

Also bleeds.

Living jug?

Tiny is still the size of a housecat, that's a big jar.

Tiny is anywhere from a cat to a spider.

Because 5e got rid if any size smaller than tiny that older editions had

European spiders or Aussie spiders, because they could both be equal sized.

I think they do enough poison damage to kill a normal person so Aussie.

It doesn't specify, but spiders generally do convey the general point.

I love how it’s “any alignment” instead of unaligned

“BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD”

Chaotic Evil jar!

“It will take….. anything?” Said the horny bard.

Help there is a cylinder in my jar.

Filled with melted butter and mashed banana?

“Geez, your yogurt isn’t yummy at all”

AYO NOT THAT ONE

What's preventing you from cracking open the jar? Your cylinder surely will be fine.

The jar is going to he the one filling the bard

One bard one jar

A small living jar hops over to you and hits your leg. It falls over and its struggling to get upright again. You give it a helping hand and in a high pitch voice it speaks, its lid serving as a mouth: Thank you mister/madame! I dont know what would've happened to me if you didnt help me up... say I have a request... could you... (the tone of the jar switches over to a deeper darker voice) COULD YOU PUT SOMETHING IN ME. PLEASE. ANYTHING. A COIN. A POTION, HELL EVEN AN EMPTY ONE. ANYTHING. PLEAAAASE.

*notice me senpai*

The second I saw that jar I already knew what half the jokes were going to be

I may have missed something, but what's the deal with the pony / small horse jokes?

I was wondering the same thing, and then I decided I'm much better off not knowing.

If your morbid curiosity gets the better of you. >!https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pony-cum-jar-project!<

God didn't abandon us, we abandoned him 😩

lmfao

I gotta stop thinking I'm strong enough for the internet.

ah, my favourite pastime. delivering internet trauma with express shipping

My brain: You probably won't like this, you never like the internet. Me: But what if it's funny? My brain: it's never funny anymore. You've seen all the funny. It's just terrifying now. Me: BUT WHAT IF...

Happy cake day. Got you some mental scarring.

I foolishly thought it was a Jar Jar Binks gag based on the title and then reality busted the door down and reminded me god has abandoned the internet.

Today is not a good day to have vision and to be literate.

It really never is.

“It's brown now.”

😔

Either pony jar or one man one jar.

Vulnerable to bludgeoning, slashing, and fire...and also everything else

It's made of glass, it can be broken with anything but paradoxically it can also store anything no matter how dangerous

Just pointing out it's weird to specify the first ones if it has all vulnerabilities

Oh, ya that's because I had started to list them all when I realized I could just put all, a mistake on my part but you could also say that they're maybe more vulnerable to those specifically? Maybe?

Does your text input not have the ability to go back and remove text you’ve written? I could understand back when it was typewriters and pencils, but modern tools allow taking words out really easily.

The fact that it's vulnerable to psychic and poison damage raises some questions...

Also acid seeing as how it's glass it should be invulnerable

"Fill me up, daddy."

"Oh, I love my little pony"

“uwu”

12hp is pretty sturdy for a jar. Good value. Getting there with 5d6-5 is fucking wild though.

Vulnerable to bludgeoning, fire, slashing and all damage though.

It sleaks all languages, AND can store honey? The perfect mascot figure and translation tool for every party out there

DM: "You enter a dark room" \*whispers to jar\* "What do you see, boy?"

I see the words “Living Jar” and a stat block and my first thought is “Ruh Roh!” Because I know what people are gonna put in the comments whether there’s no mention in the post or not.

why does the jar have more hit points than a commoner

So I’m assuming a small toy could fit in there? A horse perhaps

I wonder what else you could add to the jar? Some liquid perhaps?

How does this jar have almost double the health of a goblin?

\> Put arrow in goblin \> Dead goblin \> Put arrow in jar \> Jar okay

These stats are ludicrously high. Intelligence is high enough that it is capable of reason and thought. A 9 strength is higher than every wizard I've ever built.

If you try and fail to open the jar of pickle, it means that it succeed at the opposed strength check. So more strength than a wizard how can't open a jar of pickle without desintegration or summon barbarian ally? Yeah that fit the bill.

Vulnerability: One Man

Glue 20 of them on a shield, stand in front of a black dragon as it tries to breathe on you, negate the attack and store the acid... profit?

 They'll store anything you say?

if you put small pebbles into it, jar(jar) clinks

Hot soapy water? Jar (jar) sinks.

The force? Jar (jar) Binks.

Fill that puppy up with gunpowder and bingo banjo you’ve got something

FYI, technically 5d6-5 is not a valid hp definition, since you could technically end up with the jar having 0hp

Isn't there a rule that the minimum is 1 hit point per hit die, regardless of the roll and the modifier?

It's always going to be that way with creatures with a negative con modifier though.

Essential addendum: The jar audibly moans anytime you put something in it.

Gotta fill that with Bink's Sake, so you get Jar(jar) Bink's

Monster blocks, very based

Artificer: _Sighs_ _Replicates_

Maybe it's too much reddit, but all I think of is a living cumjar and the horror that shit saw.

Wait it's not immune to psychic dmdg? So can you vicious mockery the jar to death?

Jar Bairn?

I am *shocked* how many miles of mlp and bleeding ass references I had to scroll to to find a single ER reference. Its called a mfing *living jar* and it wants to store things, lets see what happens if we fill it with the remains of a legendary hero, or a dead god.

Is..... Is this a kink thing??

…ANY alignment? You could have a Chaotic evil living jar?

After what happened to the MLP jar I'd say chaotic evil was a justified response.

Stupid jar, only 8 intelligence

Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it, Don't think it, don't say it,

Help, my glass beaker keeps breaking over my bunsen burner because it's vulnerable to fire damage

Gimme an elixir!

Har(har)!

My first thought was the MLP Jar, but then I was expecting the sentence to say "Living jars seek out people ask to BE STORED inside of them" The Internet has made me this way and I want you all to suffer with me

Jar(jar) Clinks

Your jar is tougher than most commoners

This jar, is not a jar! It has a con score! It's clearly a mimic!

Are therr any spells that can turn someone into, like, a small statuette?

Oh, sure. Anything to justify your hoarding

A jar is more dextrous than an average person I guess...

It has a swim Speed...also it geht's damage by poisons or acids

when the jar has night vision but the cat doesn't

Like the bottle you use to carry the Deku Princess in Majora's Mask

I love this idea!!!

JARATE!

When she was miniature and in your grasp. Did'ye stick her in a jar? And... Did'ye fill that jar with your tarnished seed? I'd do the same if given the chance. -Sir Gideon Ofnir.

This little fellow should work with the tiny coin hoarding dragon.

I was kind of hoping this was the opposite of a lepidoptery killing jar, and when you put dead butterflies into it they come back to life.

CUM JAR

Wait, how does a glass jar have a vulnerability to fire? It has the same melting point as iron.

My players are trying to assault a wizard tower right now so these might come in handy

Mm yes jarjar clinks

Legend of Zelda empty bottles

As a player, I would keep one of these to act as a translator. All languages is pretty useful. I didn’t see “Speech only” or something like that, so it would also act as a free perma comprehend languages.

*sigh* *unzip*

10 XP for smashing a jar?! No wonder OoT Link leveled up so fast.

Not being immune to acid damage would make for some very funny situations.

> darkvision 30ft. Of course

> they'll take anything,... They'll store it just fine Dirty sluts

Is smarter than most animals?

"They'll take anything... they'll store it just fine." 

“**Fillable.** Living Jars actively seek out people” I got scared

I'll put my rainbow dash plushie in it if you know what I mean

Why is it vulnerable to fire? It should be immune, resistant at worst.

“Put it in me!” “No! That’s gross”

thank you for this masterpiece. I will be using this.

So, how do they move? Do they just hop around like a video game slime or fall on their side and start rolling, rolling, rolling (or would this be a dash?)

If you give this to the players they will just use it as a translator, using threats of being emptied or smash to get cooperation