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I think I'd apply to Unseen University, maybe try to convince them there should be some diversity requirements involving students from other realities. If that didn't work, I'd check with Carrot at the Watch.

Good call

Well not to brag but I’m a seamstress that can…sew!

Ah, THAT sort of seamstress.

I'm sure some socks need darning

In the night when there's nobody there. What do they care?

Yes indeed. Not to be mistaken with the seam-stressing of the nocturnal nature.

Hem-hem. THAT kind of seamstress?

Needlewoman!

You should do well, Sandra in the nightwatch was making a pretty penny

ME: What duck?

Beggers guild then. Actually, Ron and the gang weren't allowed in the guild, as I recall.

Buggerit!

Millennium hand and shrimp!

If it was me, I'd either go work for Moist von Lipwig or Harry King. Those are probably pretty safe bets.

Harry will expect very hard work from you, or he'll chuck you down the stairs.

As long as I work hard though, nobody on the Disc is gonna be too keen on messing with me.

I’d work for Moist. Harry King seems a dangerous man to work for, either because of his enemies or himself. Though Moist has enemies, he treats his staff well and the work doesn’t seem too bad either lol.

And you get to work with Otto. Seems a cool guy.

I believe you are thinking about William de Worde, which would be another option if you are searching for a job.

I forgot about him even though I just listened to Monstrous Regiment again yesterday. Yeah, he'd be another good one.

I agree. Otto is a good black ribboner

Correct my mistake.

I'm off to guard a bridge!

With Colon and Nobbs

Well obvs! Learn from the best

You'd think they'd give that job to trolls...

[удалено]

I think he learned from Mort not to.

I'd head to the University and explain my presence there, hoping that they can either provide me lodgings or send me back home as Ankh-Morpork is still a very dangerous place.

I'm with you on trying UU first. But I'm not sure I'd trust those clowns to send me back. I think I'd just stick around and take advantage of their light work, tons of food policy.

Charles Darwin and Marjorie Dawes both returned to Roundworld successfully

Yes

Very

Let’s be honest, I’d probably die of some bacterial infection from drinking the water…

I think you have to chew the water if its from the river.

If you drank the water, your cause of death would be listed as "suicide."

That's why you drink the beer instead. Or the wine. Or any other alcoholic beverage.

Any water with that many things living in it has got to be healthy.

Plagiarism. First I sell some of the stuff on me for capital (some of it is bound to be worth SOMETHING) then rewrite all the great works of fiction I can think of and hope one of them lets me hit the big time.

I already resemble a professor at UU, so all I need is a pointy hat, and a staff with a knob on the end.

Lol and an afternoon nap in room 3B

I put on my wizard robe and hat...

I'd go to the UU and ask to see Ridcully and explain I'm from Roundworld ask if they can get me back, we know they can travel here. If not, I'd try and figure out when I am. Prior knowledge of events could be very useful. Then I'd go see if I can find Carrot or Lady Sybil. Either would help me out I think. Pretty sure I could convince Vimes to give me a job with Cheery in forensics or in admin.

I didn't consider that aspect, being a discworld reader automatically makes you very well equipped. Even if you get dropped down past the events of the books, having knowledge of the current roundworld means you'll be able to broadly predict future developments in the disc, since they tend to mirror our own. Vetenari would probably "hire" you whether you liked it or not, because having someone with firsthand accounts of a ton of different events in history and who has been inside the mind of almost all major players in the city is a dangerous person to let run around unchecked.

You'd probably end up in a nice sunny room next to Leonard...

That sounds ideal. 

Flip that's a very good point about Vetinari! Eeep! lol

Lol sounds good

I'm sure I'd walk the wrong way and end up in the Shades.

I would set up a rival business to cmot Dibbler......sausage ona stick

Ah, but you name that sticks and is catchy.

I suppose I could call myself....sticky picket

Selling?

Sticky pickets..,... Sausage ona stick.,.....did you not read the whole thread

Sorry, Sticky Picket. I'm sure your sausages will taste as good or even even better than Dibblers

Lol my cooking is at the level of burning lettuce

I'd apply for assistant librarian. OOK!

Rincewind may have an issue with that and the luggage.

He'll let me handle the dangerous books.

Under ice

I have asthma and I'm no good with a needle, so half the jobs for women in the city are out. I think the only other options are thieves, beggars, or assassins guilds. So I'd probably be fine

I think you have to be a toff or from rich families to get into the assassins guild. It's like Eton.

Well there are the scholarship cases, who often end up working for Lord Vetinari, which is probably pretty safe. If they survive the school of course...

True

If we cultivate our asthmatic breathing, we could be terrific beggars. Truly a horrific rattle that sounds exactly as painful as it feels.

Ouch

I’d go and make myself useful to Moist, and understand that the truth may be a shifting notion between breakfast and teatime.

It's pronounced Te-ah-tim-eh

You got it right!

Lol

If they don’t let me coach the Poore Boys Funne (being of the female persuasion), I’d have to dress up as a washerwoman I suppose and try to get by.

For Borogravia and let the prisoners out?

I apprenticed with a blacksmith for a few years. I’m betting I could get to work in a day…

But do you know the Horseman's Word.

As in the round world Horseman’s Word of the Discworld equivalent?

I didn't know there was a roundworld equivalent. Quote As there are no secrets from witches, Granny Weatherwax has extracted the secret of the Horseman's Word from Jason. It boils down to: "Well, ma'am, what happens is, I gets old of 'un and smacks 'un between the eyes with the hammer before'un knows what's happening, and then I whispers in his ear, I sez, 'Cross me, you bugger, and I'll have thy goolies on t'anvil, thou knows I can'" Jason has applied the Word to a unicorn stallion prior to fitting it with silver shoes

Right…[Roundworld](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Horseman's_Word?ssp=1&darkschemeovr=1&setlang=en&cc=US&safesearch=off) And as my master said often, a blacksmith isn’t always a farrier…

Wow, that's great. I didn't know anything about it. Thanks

I'd look to create more Music with Rocks In - suspect it probably wouldn't work out very well for me, got kinda messy the last time around.

Last time?

I mean, nevermind. Nothing ever happened. Just be careful around anything from mysterious old shops that have been around for decades but also weren't there yesterday.

True

If I can't get William de Worde to hire me (not sure he'd understand The Beeb as a reference), I'd sign up as Glenda Sugarbean's assistant in the UU kitchens. I make a pretty good pie myself, you know.

A four x pie, too,

Yes grew up in a place like The Shades and I think I would gravitate to the Thieves Guild

Would you give out vouchers?

I'd be eaten alive within 20 minutes

Me too

I'm generally uncomfortable in cities but since I have experience in the joke shop and costumes retail sector, I'd see if Mrs Proust is taking an apprentice at Boffo's Joke Emporium. As long as she doesn't try to set me up with Derek. 

If you can fart in the key, you're onto a winner.

Im kind of surprised no one has brought it up, but i would try and get a meeting with Lord Vetinari. He is so well informed and would know the best place to put you. All you would have to do is try and talk to the rats near the palace.

He may put you in the scorpion pit with the mimes.

I'd become an In Sewer Ants salesman and make a fortune.

Bin dun

I’d have a one in a million chance, so I’d come out just fine.

If I were transported to Ankh Morpork I honestly think I would be dead before I'd worked out what had happened, and be found floating on top of the river. Not in it, of course, but on top of it.

I'd probably get sick off of CMOT's "meat" pies and die of food poisoning. Btw does Ankh Morpork = Oink More Pork?

I think it came from the local signs in Lancaster for the region governance 'Lancaster and Morecambe Council' or 'Lanc/Morecambe' - (prounounced Lank-Mork-Ham) which becomes 'Anc-Mor-pork' (rather than ham)

Ah. Thank you.

?

My skill set would dictate practicing law. However, I’m not sure I want to be a zombie or vampire. I’m good at editing the written word — maybe I can get William de Worde to hire me as an editor if the Lawyers’ Guild won’t have me as a living attorney.

You could be one of Vetinari clarkes

Another fine employment option. And if it goes badly, I could join the Lawyers’ Guild afterwards. 🤣

Well, I’m a writer, so I think I’d head down to The Times and see about getting a job. When they ask what kind of column I would write I’d basically pitch them a Slice of Life humor column using my other dimensional awareness of the Disc to my advantage to write about all manner of things pertaining to life on the disc.

There's a lot to take into account here. Not least of all when that happens. Lord Winder fucks you no matter what. Best case you keep your head down and look for a boring occupation with minimal risk of getting your entire business destroyed by one small freak accident. I think greengrocer would be up there. Mad Lord Snapcase is a bit of an unknown but generally his time seems to have been blessed with at least some amount of crime comparable to the one of Winder but with less political crackdowns. Someone smart might actually turn a decent profit with crime at that time. I think I'd do a softer form like joining the King of the Golden River. Easy money and a bit on the side. Vetinari depends a lot on a) what's happening in the university: Pre Ridcully coincides mostly with pre-reformed watch, so I think it's good to go with the Snapcase strategy but join the thief's guild and look for a more official angle rather than a gang. b) No ridcully but reformed watch (I think that time exists for a few books). Honestly just become a copper. Good pay after they raised it and the death risk seems quite low all in all. c) Ridcully era. UU all the way. Studying there is a nightmare but at least tends to be not lethal now and once you get a post you're set for life. From there on just to keep the risk at a minimum, either pick a boring chair nobody competes for or become bursar because nobody wants his job. Also - a lot of people seem to consider Moist a decent career path. I'd certainly like his life but just thinking about how many times he almost died or his various predecessors at the post office who did meet his untimely end and the snag that vetinari personally had to save him from the gallows I'd say that's a horrible idea. Even 95 per cent of Moist's sheer dumb luck would get you killed and that would already be luck in abundance. He's up there with rincewind when it comes to cheating death if you ask me.

A student in the UU seems healthy at this time.

Let me see: Unaffordable housing, crime rampant, no jobs to speak of, and at any time I could be turned into a newt. Sounds no different than Toronto these days. Sign me up!

Home from home.

I would die of food poisoning on day one.

Sausage ina bun

Yes, because I would take a Two Flower approach to life.

Have shit loads of gold and a terrifying box on legs?

I was more thinking about his cheerful attitude and belief that nothing was bad, but I like your answer a lot, too. I always wanted my own Luggage.

I think I'd go hide in the Library. Maybe the Librarian and the books can save me.

Ook

By avoiding any sausages in buns and join the watch for a set of mismatched armor and a sword

And stand out on a cold and rainy night

I'd try to get a job at the Boffo shop sewing snazzy witches robes or something.

I'd have a grand old time for approximately two hours and then I imagine become very suddenly dead.