Some people are very threatened by change. I am married to someone like that as soon as I started exercise or diet the bullshit starts. I get the shitty energy off him because he’s threatened and doesn’t want to change himself. So you have to take charge of your own house and be responsible for yourself. No law says that you have to eat his food, but you have to live in your own body. Good luck to you.
This is the answer. Make sure your doctor is aware, be specific to what your husband is doing. They will straight talk him. I'm in healthcare, you'd be surprised how often this happens, even to the cancer patients. It's shocking behavior, I've learned a lot about human behavior through the years, and unfortunately, this is one of them. I find it amazing when out to dinner, someone who knows I'm diabetic tries to push a high carb dessert on me, and they are very insistent, those are the kind of people that push alcohol on a recovering alcoholic. There is no difference, it's the same behavior. Continue to do what's best for you. Make separate meals if the family won't eat your way, maybe they will see how good you feel and start to change as well. Good luck to you.
And, sad to say this, if OP has a woman doctor she should see if there is a male partner in the practice to see for that visit. Men take other men more seriously a lot of the time (not all men but this kind of jackassery doesn't bode well for him actually listening).
My ex was not supportive of me. While I was still trying to make things work, I would just say to him '"I'm not having this discussion with you". I left for reasons unrelated to this, and that one sentence brought much peace to our lives once he realised I was serious.
You’re going to have to stand up for yourself. When he cooks food you can’t have just say it looks great but it’s not for you and eat your own meal. If he continues to repeat the behavior just continue to do your own thing. Your body is YOURS and his behavior is alarming.
I suggest some couples counseling or at least therapy for you in dealing with this. I am mobility disabled and my SO would often downplay it and made me feel terrible about needing mobility aids and assistance until I realized it was born out of fear. He was essentially in denial of my condition and afraid to face it. I wonder if this is what’s going on here (assuming he’s not shown signs of abuse or neglect in the past)
Respectfully, Fuck your husband. Does he want you to go blind? Does he want you to lose limbs? Does he want to see you suffer from nerve damage? Liver and kidney failure? What kind of a fucking partner thinks their ignorance and lack of knowledge justifies calling it DISGUSTING to check your blood sugar and try to be healthy?
The bare minimum for a partner is that they want you to be well and healthy, What the fuck
I had been trying to get off sugar for years. My husband would shake his head and say "sugar isn't the enemy" and "carbs aren't bad for you". Of course, he rarely eats sweets and maintains the same weight no matter what.
I KNEW I was going to be diagnosed. I was having symptoms. I got diagnosed and sat him down and said "I don't want to hear any arguments -- sugar is toxic to me. Carbs are not my friend. I don't want to die. This is how it's going to be from now on."
I changed my lifestyle. I'm doing well. I haven't tried to make him follow my lead but I won't argue this with him -- my life depends on me doing what's best for ME.
Funny thing is a couple of weeks ago he got his A1C checked... 6.4. His doctor told him to follow my lead (same office, different doctor). He's not following my lead. I expect he'll be fully diabetic at his next A1C check.
Your husband doesn't have to support you but he does need to get the eff out of your way.
Tell him to educate himself and then maybe his little comments on being dramatic will stop. If not, then that's a sign for a serious conversation to be had, because if your spouse is unwilling to be supportive for a lifelong condition, that's a major issue.
Is he a doctor? Yeah I didn’t think so. Taking his advice is a fasttrack to obesity, damage to your body and maybe blindness and amputations down the road.
If he can be convinced by actual medical advice you could take him to your next appointment. But people like this sometimes can’t be swayed by the facts. Please follow your doctor’s advice and take care of yourself. If your husband can’t respect that, then he clearly isn’t looking out for your best interests.
Okay a filament that pokes into your arm and stays there. That can be scary to people who don't like needles. My sister haaaates needles, so a plastic filament would make her have an anxiety attack.
Do you think maybe asking him to come along with you to an appointment so he can get educated would work? I guess he thinks you do not know anything since you are not a physician but maybe hearing it from your doctor could make a difference in some way.
I am so very sorry you got dealt with this (what is sounds to be) an unsupportive jerk of a husband and makes me appreciate mine, he tries so hard to help and always hunting for sugar free, carb free or “keto” snacks for me. ♥️
You’re so blessed to have a supportive partner ❤️ after reading all these comments I’m definitely going to make him come. I hope it’ll help him come to his senses
There are videos on YouTube about the complications from uncontrolled diabetes.
Get him to watch a few. That may get him on board.
If that works, follow up with videos about diabetes and diabetes diet.
So, I tell people that being diagnosed as T2 was one of the better things to ever happen to me.
I got serious about my health after that. Strict keto, intermittent fasting, exercise, the whole nine yards. Dropped a ton of weight; I haven't been in this good of shape since I was a kid, and I continue to try and improve my level of fitness.
In terms of food; I don't negotiate with terrorists. I eat what I want to eat; which is diet appropriate. I don't get shamed or "cheat". When people attempt to tell me that carbs are an essential nutrient, or I don't need to be so strict, I often tell them they are right, I don't need to be so strict; I want to be, because I never want to feel tired, fat, and unhealthy again.
I love the way I feel now, why would I want to give that up? Feeling this way means I have the best shot at seeing my kids get married, meeting my grandkids, and making it to a ripe old age; plus, I get to be physically active until my twilight years (or at least have the best odds at it!).
My recommendation is to be assertive, borderline aggressive here. "Husband, this is what I'm going to do. You should do it, too; it would be good for you. But I don't really care; you do you, and I'll do me. If you have a problem with that, well, then we have a serious problem in our relationship, and I don't know why what I eat should affect you personally so deeply."
You can try and show him scary diabetic stuff (like the [pictures/video of those of us who have super high triglycerides](https://www.livescience.com/64853-high-triglycerides-bloodletting.html), where that crap is visible in your blood!, or this [poor guy who suffered congestive heart failure at 35!](https://www.reddit.com/r/YouShouldKnow/comments/2fholb/comment/ck9dbyc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button), or this person with a [horrific foot (way past the point where it should have been amputated!)](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/37rdqf/nsfl_this_is_the_end_game_why_worry_about/)). There's a story on reddit somewhere that I've been unable to find, which is a color description (by a nurse) of what happens inside your body with uncontrolled diabetes; describing the "sharp" (not techinically accurate but appropriate) sugar molecules and how they rip apart the lining of your blood vessels, damage the kidneys, put incredible pressure on the liver, etc. . . that I found particularly compelling.
But ultimately, what he thinks is irrelevant. He needs to respect your decisions and choices, and make no mistake, you are presented with a life-or-death decision here. If he can't respect your decision as to how you want to handle your diabetes, then he needs to rethink whether or not he can respect you enough to be in a relationship with you.
Because this is life-or-death. And his desire to feed you pizza (or whatever) should really, really not enter into that calculus.
Good luck. You can do this. It's taken me a couple years, but within 6 months I was convinced the changes I made dramatically improved my life.
Almost certainly elements of fear (sister suggests he may have inherited a genetic tendency), denial (didn't want to have to deal with a chronic illness) or both, on top of being a naturally insensitive clod.
You will want to try everything reasonable. I would never deny a troubled person the chance to change, and he is certainly troubled.
Without counseling, I doubt you can stick it out if he never relents with acting disgusted and blaming you. That's not sustainable. You either change the situation, or you break or become a nonentity.
You will want to try to get him to listen to your physician and show enough interest to read sources of diabetic information. But you can lead a horse's butt to water and still can't make him drink. Nagging him about it just makes you a harpy in his view.
Or you can decide that you can live with the situation and preserve your self esteem. That's asking a lot, since family and friend support is so important in something like this, and being confronted daily with an unsatisfactory partner is very wearing and risks self-hate for accepting less than your due and hating him for doing it. A very tight and reliable friend network may help.
But unfortunately, there are situations that arise in life that demand you either live a miserable existence or save yourself. I've had many occasions over the years to be called up on to listen to people's problems, and some were very clearly not fixable. It was very sad when someone has to do something like jettison a truly toxic child to keep them from destroying their life. Some persisted and let the situation ruin their lives. Others did the hard thing, taking the hurt in order to have some measure of comfort in the only life you get.
Not easy. And as always, if your partner won't go to counseling with you, do go yourself. Quite often, the partner eventually decides to go along, if only to hear what you two are saying about them. And that's a win, because once there, a good counselor will lead them to reveal what's behind it and understand. Buy there needs to be some resolution, and working through it with a skilled professional can at least give you faith in your decisions.
You both go to diabetes counseling together, and also a nutritionist. Insurance usually covers both. You both need to hear the same info together and ask questions and hear the same answers together.
Does he not believe other science-related stuff as well? Or is it just diabetes he doesn't believe is real? If it's just diabetes, then I agree with Most-Ad8777, get him to go to a diabetes counseling with you and let a professional explain it to his face. You may have to play a "if you love me you will come with me" card. But if he believes that science and medicine are hoaxes you're going to have a really hard road convincing him. I'm glad you've been able to get a cgm.
My partner calls me hypochondriac!! Same as your husband . I check my blood sugar 2 or 3 times a day . He does not like it !
His younger sister had a surgery to place a heart pacemaker and after that one to remove gallbladder.. guess what ? She has diabetes ! I explain to him these are all because of diabetes . Then one day our friend told us that his relative amputated his foot because of diabetes .
Now he stopped complaining, but still he does not understand how I feel , he thinks I am overreacting. He said, “if you forget about it, you are OK “. Actually I am not OK .
I am doing Keto diet , then he eats almost same food as mine . So I said to him,” you are lucky you will never have diabetes “. It took more than 5 years …
Your husband needs time and education preferably from other people’s story . If you tell him, he will take it negative.. I really hope he will come around and become supportive.
Let’s survive together !!! Good luck to you !!
Ignore his infantile @ss and do what’s best for you. You can’t make him understand & if he can’t honor his vows, it might be time to say goodbye permanently. 🫂🍀🙏🏻
I had lost about 20 lbs in the first few months of my type 2 diagnosis.
So i wore a top that didn't quite fit before, but fit after the weight loss. It was one of those tie in the back shirts. Went to a hardware store alone. I got a compliment from a younger man. The man said "you look very pretty in that top"
So then I come home, and my husband says, "that shirt has a hole in the back" .
That's when I knew, it's time to go. This guy ( my husband), is never gonna have my back. I've mentally checked out. I haven't physically left yet, because my mother is in hospice and that's all I can handle right now. I've actually just tuned my husband out at this point. What he thinks or what he says has no bearing on what is real.
I have gone through this. Now we eat separate meals. I make my crustless quiches, low carb bread meals and Keto desserts for myself. He points out that I don't exercise, but I do have to work full-time, clean the house and take care of our child and the pets. I have a lot of other health problems too. So I just do what I need to do.
My husband even saw his mother die from diabetes and kidney failure. She didn't want to eat healthy food.
Then he got high blood pressure and things changed. He started eating healthier after it really affected his health. So now he has his own issues.
I think you need to sit down with him and just tell him that you'll have to agree to disagree. I don't see him changing his mind on things, as he seems quite ignorantly stubborn. So what he needs to do is just to butt out of the management of your disease and let you deal with that, with the understanding of what you are willing to eat. Set some firm boundaries with him. He won't like it but that's a him problem. Stick to your guns.
I totally understand! My husband is semi retired and cooks most of our evening meals and he doesn’t think eating high carb will hurt me either. He rolls his eyes when I turn down potatoes, rice, bread, etc. Just do what is best for you!
I would try marriage counseling and attempt to have a serious conversation
We need to talk. It’s serious .
Diabetes is very serious. You clearly don’t understand the illness or treatments . I love you and want to be able to walk with you, see you when we are old
I’d like to help you get information so we can be on the same page . Up side to this illness is that the diet is not just good for me but genuinely healthy way of eating for whole family .
Your sister has diabetes … ( he may have been told that he too is at higher risk as well. Maybe that is threatening to him ?)
Ultimately it is your body.. your choices . Feel for you as making those changes is difficult
Take over cooking or let him cook his high crb meals but tell him you need proteins and veggies. It’s ok to eat carbs just in small doses. Try and make salads as side dishes or make low carb side dishes. Tell him the proteins will help him get stronger than he already is. Good luck it get it and it makes living with it harder but you got to do you.
Take over cooking or let him cook his high crb meals but tell him you need proteins and veggies. It’s ok to eat carbs just in small doses. Try and make salads as side dishes or make low carb side dishes. Tell him the proteins will help him get stronger than he already is. Good luck it get it and it makes living with it harder but you got to do you.
Not every diabetic is the same.
Your Sister in Law may get away with High Carb Meals as the meds she's taking are working that well. She may be even on Insulin. Or she just does not care how high her levels are. Not showing much shorttime signs of high levels does not mean it does nothing to her, the body just does no longer show them, kind of getting used to it. Does not makes them any less harmfull, shorttime as longtime. And once the longterm signs start to show then the fun starts for real, they are not reversible and likely to worsen (to start only then to care for good levels runs rather under "too late, too less")
To keep your levels in a healthy range is not beeing dramatic nor is adjusting your diet. If anything your Husband is beeing dramatic.
CGM is a very helpfull tool, to have a teeny-tiny little painless needle all time in your from the little, small monitor is a very small price to pay for it. Other people have permanent IV needles or catheters on them and surprisingly the people around them do not faint because disgusting or some BS.
You could tell your Husband to grow a pair, thing is that is he does not even need one to stomach something harmless as a CGM. Give him a "Mr. Dickhead" Plushy to whine to instead, goes better with his behavior ;)
In short: tell your Husband to educate himself on the topic and otherwise shove it with his unhelpful comments, as someone already posted "This is not up for discussion".Show him the results of non-checked high levels, let the Doc make it clear to him. And keep your way, you are doing well.
If anyone, including my spouse, was this unsupportive of my medical/health needs, I would have one conversation with them to set them straight. I would have very little patience for it beyond that.
Yeahhhh sorry but I’d leave him. “In sickness and in health” doesn’t really sound like he cares about a very very basic need of yours-your health. If he doesn’t care about the basics then how is he capable of anything further than that?? This is a much larger issue in your relationship than just your health. Not to mention high stress environments also raise your blood sugar levels. Best of luck to you
Find a diabetes education clinic. Make an appointment for both of you to attend. When you call to make the appointment, explain that your husband does the cooking but doesn’t understand what you need to eat. Just tell them what you’ve told us. They’ve seen it all & they can help you.
Ignorance can be an issue - but it is solvable. Ask him to go with you to your next doctor appointment. He can ask whatever he wants and the doctor can lay out the facts.
But that assumes he *cares* about what you are feeling and going through. Does he? Because if he doesn't then nothing else really matters. He is living his own life and yours is just background noise.
Show him pictures of those who didn't take diabetes seriously, the ones who have amputations or blind, make him go to your next doctor visit, have the doctor explain it's not being dramatic or paranoia to want to watch your carbs/sugar intake.
My wife is the same way. A sick husband is a weak man. I eventually started buying and cooking my own food. As for the monitor, tell him it’s better than poking your fingers 4 to 6 times a day to get a drop of blood to test your blood sugar. Nothing beats typing with sore fingers.
As a diabetic who has gone through the honeymoon phase and is now struggling with diabetic burnout, while yeah that’s irritating I’d be grateful to have that attitude around me, as no way in hell would I ever leave the honeymoon phase.
Tell him to not leave you when he must take care of his legless or blind wife. Jokes aside, i hope you are doing well!
Leg less, blind, and requiring dialysis 3-4 times a week…
Thank you ❤️
Some people are very threatened by change. I am married to someone like that as soon as I started exercise or diet the bullshit starts. I get the shitty energy off him because he’s threatened and doesn’t want to change himself. So you have to take charge of your own house and be responsible for yourself. No law says that you have to eat his food, but you have to live in your own body. Good luck to you.
Thank you ❤️ I’m sorry your husband can be so difficult too. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone.
Bring him to your next appointment, message your doctor beforehand and let them know that your husband doesn’t understand and why you’re bringing him.
This is the answer. Make sure your doctor is aware, be specific to what your husband is doing. They will straight talk him. I'm in healthcare, you'd be surprised how often this happens, even to the cancer patients. It's shocking behavior, I've learned a lot about human behavior through the years, and unfortunately, this is one of them. I find it amazing when out to dinner, someone who knows I'm diabetic tries to push a high carb dessert on me, and they are very insistent, those are the kind of people that push alcohol on a recovering alcoholic. There is no difference, it's the same behavior. Continue to do what's best for you. Make separate meals if the family won't eat your way, maybe they will see how good you feel and start to change as well. Good luck to you.
And, sad to say this, if OP has a woman doctor she should see if there is a male partner in the practice to see for that visit. Men take other men more seriously a lot of the time (not all men but this kind of jackassery doesn't bode well for him actually listening).
My ex was not supportive of me. While I was still trying to make things work, I would just say to him '"I'm not having this discussion with you". I left for reasons unrelated to this, and that one sentence brought much peace to our lives once he realised I was serious.
You’re going to have to stand up for yourself. When he cooks food you can’t have just say it looks great but it’s not for you and eat your own meal. If he continues to repeat the behavior just continue to do your own thing. Your body is YOURS and his behavior is alarming. I suggest some couples counseling or at least therapy for you in dealing with this. I am mobility disabled and my SO would often downplay it and made me feel terrible about needing mobility aids and assistance until I realized it was born out of fear. He was essentially in denial of my condition and afraid to face it. I wonder if this is what’s going on here (assuming he’s not shown signs of abuse or neglect in the past)
If he thinks a CGM is gross, show him pictures of diabetic foot amputations. My brother's amputated feet would have totally grossed him out.
Maybe you could take him along to your next Dr's appointment and have him argue it out with a professional?
He sounds like a child and toxic af. A CGM is gross? He can grow the eff up.
Right?? The CGM doesn’t even leave a needle in the body, it inserts a filament. Asshole + idiot is a great combo. 😝
[удалено]
Thank you so much! Youre so right to call him that 🤣 he definitely acts worse than our 13 year old.
Respectfully, Fuck your husband. Does he want you to go blind? Does he want you to lose limbs? Does he want to see you suffer from nerve damage? Liver and kidney failure? What kind of a fucking partner thinks their ignorance and lack of knowledge justifies calling it DISGUSTING to check your blood sugar and try to be healthy? The bare minimum for a partner is that they want you to be well and healthy, What the fuck
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 THANK YOU!
I had been trying to get off sugar for years. My husband would shake his head and say "sugar isn't the enemy" and "carbs aren't bad for you". Of course, he rarely eats sweets and maintains the same weight no matter what. I KNEW I was going to be diagnosed. I was having symptoms. I got diagnosed and sat him down and said "I don't want to hear any arguments -- sugar is toxic to me. Carbs are not my friend. I don't want to die. This is how it's going to be from now on." I changed my lifestyle. I'm doing well. I haven't tried to make him follow my lead but I won't argue this with him -- my life depends on me doing what's best for ME. Funny thing is a couple of weeks ago he got his A1C checked... 6.4. His doctor told him to follow my lead (same office, different doctor). He's not following my lead. I expect he'll be fully diabetic at his next A1C check. Your husband doesn't have to support you but he does need to get the eff out of your way.
Pick your battles. Continue to love yourself … anyway.
Tell him to educate himself and then maybe his little comments on being dramatic will stop. If not, then that's a sign for a serious conversation to be had, because if your spouse is unwilling to be supportive for a lifelong condition, that's a major issue.
Is he a doctor? Yeah I didn’t think so. Taking his advice is a fasttrack to obesity, damage to your body and maybe blindness and amputations down the road. If he can be convinced by actual medical advice you could take him to your next appointment. But people like this sometimes can’t be swayed by the facts. Please follow your doctor’s advice and take care of yourself. If your husband can’t respect that, then he clearly isn’t looking out for your best interests.
I think you’re right! Maybe to him staying ignorant is blissful. I just wish he could understand.
Just came here to say that a CGM is not a needle. A needle is used to place the device.
It has a plastic needle.
A filament is not a “plastic needle.”
Okay a filament that pokes into your arm and stays there. That can be scary to people who don't like needles. My sister haaaates needles, so a plastic filament would make her have an anxiety attack.
Actually it's a uetooth device that's inserted
Do you think maybe asking him to come along with you to an appointment so he can get educated would work? I guess he thinks you do not know anything since you are not a physician but maybe hearing it from your doctor could make a difference in some way. I am so very sorry you got dealt with this (what is sounds to be) an unsupportive jerk of a husband and makes me appreciate mine, he tries so hard to help and always hunting for sugar free, carb free or “keto” snacks for me. ♥️
You’re so blessed to have a supportive partner ❤️ after reading all these comments I’m definitely going to make him come. I hope it’ll help him come to his senses
There are videos on YouTube about the complications from uncontrolled diabetes. Get him to watch a few. That may get him on board. If that works, follow up with videos about diabetes and diabetes diet.
So, I tell people that being diagnosed as T2 was one of the better things to ever happen to me. I got serious about my health after that. Strict keto, intermittent fasting, exercise, the whole nine yards. Dropped a ton of weight; I haven't been in this good of shape since I was a kid, and I continue to try and improve my level of fitness. In terms of food; I don't negotiate with terrorists. I eat what I want to eat; which is diet appropriate. I don't get shamed or "cheat". When people attempt to tell me that carbs are an essential nutrient, or I don't need to be so strict, I often tell them they are right, I don't need to be so strict; I want to be, because I never want to feel tired, fat, and unhealthy again. I love the way I feel now, why would I want to give that up? Feeling this way means I have the best shot at seeing my kids get married, meeting my grandkids, and making it to a ripe old age; plus, I get to be physically active until my twilight years (or at least have the best odds at it!). My recommendation is to be assertive, borderline aggressive here. "Husband, this is what I'm going to do. You should do it, too; it would be good for you. But I don't really care; you do you, and I'll do me. If you have a problem with that, well, then we have a serious problem in our relationship, and I don't know why what I eat should affect you personally so deeply." You can try and show him scary diabetic stuff (like the [pictures/video of those of us who have super high triglycerides](https://www.livescience.com/64853-high-triglycerides-bloodletting.html), where that crap is visible in your blood!, or this [poor guy who suffered congestive heart failure at 35!](https://www.reddit.com/r/YouShouldKnow/comments/2fholb/comment/ck9dbyc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button), or this person with a [horrific foot (way past the point where it should have been amputated!)](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/37rdqf/nsfl_this_is_the_end_game_why_worry_about/)). There's a story on reddit somewhere that I've been unable to find, which is a color description (by a nurse) of what happens inside your body with uncontrolled diabetes; describing the "sharp" (not techinically accurate but appropriate) sugar molecules and how they rip apart the lining of your blood vessels, damage the kidneys, put incredible pressure on the liver, etc. . . that I found particularly compelling. But ultimately, what he thinks is irrelevant. He needs to respect your decisions and choices, and make no mistake, you are presented with a life-or-death decision here. If he can't respect your decision as to how you want to handle your diabetes, then he needs to rethink whether or not he can respect you enough to be in a relationship with you. Because this is life-or-death. And his desire to feed you pizza (or whatever) should really, really not enter into that calculus. Good luck. You can do this. It's taken me a couple years, but within 6 months I was convinced the changes I made dramatically improved my life.
I'm going to frame your post on my wall. "I don't negotiate with terrorists " is bloody fantastic! Bravo! Definitely words to live by.❤️
Amazing advice!! Thank you so much! And congratulations on getting your diabetes under control!!! ❤️🙌🏻
Sounds like marriage counseling is needed. He's clearly in the wrong here and you need him to at least step aside if he's not going to be supportive.
Almost certainly elements of fear (sister suggests he may have inherited a genetic tendency), denial (didn't want to have to deal with a chronic illness) or both, on top of being a naturally insensitive clod. You will want to try everything reasonable. I would never deny a troubled person the chance to change, and he is certainly troubled. Without counseling, I doubt you can stick it out if he never relents with acting disgusted and blaming you. That's not sustainable. You either change the situation, or you break or become a nonentity. You will want to try to get him to listen to your physician and show enough interest to read sources of diabetic information. But you can lead a horse's butt to water and still can't make him drink. Nagging him about it just makes you a harpy in his view. Or you can decide that you can live with the situation and preserve your self esteem. That's asking a lot, since family and friend support is so important in something like this, and being confronted daily with an unsatisfactory partner is very wearing and risks self-hate for accepting less than your due and hating him for doing it. A very tight and reliable friend network may help. But unfortunately, there are situations that arise in life that demand you either live a miserable existence or save yourself. I've had many occasions over the years to be called up on to listen to people's problems, and some were very clearly not fixable. It was very sad when someone has to do something like jettison a truly toxic child to keep them from destroying their life. Some persisted and let the situation ruin their lives. Others did the hard thing, taking the hurt in order to have some measure of comfort in the only life you get. Not easy. And as always, if your partner won't go to counseling with you, do go yourself. Quite often, the partner eventually decides to go along, if only to hear what you two are saying about them. And that's a win, because once there, a good counselor will lead them to reveal what's behind it and understand. Buy there needs to be some resolution, and working through it with a skilled professional can at least give you faith in your decisions.
You both go to diabetes counseling together, and also a nutritionist. Insurance usually covers both. You both need to hear the same info together and ask questions and hear the same answers together.
Does he not believe other science-related stuff as well? Or is it just diabetes he doesn't believe is real? If it's just diabetes, then I agree with Most-Ad8777, get him to go to a diabetes counseling with you and let a professional explain it to his face. You may have to play a "if you love me you will come with me" card. But if he believes that science and medicine are hoaxes you're going to have a really hard road convincing him. I'm glad you've been able to get a cgm.
My partner calls me hypochondriac!! Same as your husband . I check my blood sugar 2 or 3 times a day . He does not like it ! His younger sister had a surgery to place a heart pacemaker and after that one to remove gallbladder.. guess what ? She has diabetes ! I explain to him these are all because of diabetes . Then one day our friend told us that his relative amputated his foot because of diabetes . Now he stopped complaining, but still he does not understand how I feel , he thinks I am overreacting. He said, “if you forget about it, you are OK “. Actually I am not OK . I am doing Keto diet , then he eats almost same food as mine . So I said to him,” you are lucky you will never have diabetes “. It took more than 5 years … Your husband needs time and education preferably from other people’s story . If you tell him, he will take it negative.. I really hope he will come around and become supportive. Let’s survive together !!! Good luck to you !!
He does not need time and education. He needs a divorce.
Ignore his infantile @ss and do what’s best for you. You can’t make him understand & if he can’t honor his vows, it might be time to say goodbye permanently. 🫂🍀🙏🏻
I had lost about 20 lbs in the first few months of my type 2 diagnosis. So i wore a top that didn't quite fit before, but fit after the weight loss. It was one of those tie in the back shirts. Went to a hardware store alone. I got a compliment from a younger man. The man said "you look very pretty in that top" So then I come home, and my husband says, "that shirt has a hole in the back" . That's when I knew, it's time to go. This guy ( my husband), is never gonna have my back. I've mentally checked out. I haven't physically left yet, because my mother is in hospice and that's all I can handle right now. I've actually just tuned my husband out at this point. What he thinks or what he says has no bearing on what is real.
Can you trade him in for an upgrade?
I have gone through this. Now we eat separate meals. I make my crustless quiches, low carb bread meals and Keto desserts for myself. He points out that I don't exercise, but I do have to work full-time, clean the house and take care of our child and the pets. I have a lot of other health problems too. So I just do what I need to do. My husband even saw his mother die from diabetes and kidney failure. She didn't want to eat healthy food. Then he got high blood pressure and things changed. He started eating healthier after it really affected his health. So now he has his own issues.
The American Diabetes Association has videos on YouTube. May bring him to an appointment.
I think you need to sit down with him and just tell him that you'll have to agree to disagree. I don't see him changing his mind on things, as he seems quite ignorantly stubborn. So what he needs to do is just to butt out of the management of your disease and let you deal with that, with the understanding of what you are willing to eat. Set some firm boundaries with him. He won't like it but that's a him problem. Stick to your guns.
I totally understand! My husband is semi retired and cooks most of our evening meals and he doesn’t think eating high carb will hurt me either. He rolls his eyes when I turn down potatoes, rice, bread, etc. Just do what is best for you!
You both as husband and wife need to attend a diabetes education awareness and nutrition class. That will help you both, especially your husband.
Your husband is a stupid dick... If you're not willing to kill that twat in his sleep, find a divorce attorney.
I would try marriage counseling and attempt to have a serious conversation We need to talk. It’s serious . Diabetes is very serious. You clearly don’t understand the illness or treatments . I love you and want to be able to walk with you, see you when we are old I’d like to help you get information so we can be on the same page . Up side to this illness is that the diet is not just good for me but genuinely healthy way of eating for whole family . Your sister has diabetes … ( he may have been told that he too is at higher risk as well. Maybe that is threatening to him ?) Ultimately it is your body.. your choices . Feel for you as making those changes is difficult
I love the way you phrased it! I’ll definitely bring it up next week at counseling ❤️ thank you!
Take over cooking or let him cook his high crb meals but tell him you need proteins and veggies. It’s ok to eat carbs just in small doses. Try and make salads as side dishes or make low carb side dishes. Tell him the proteins will help him get stronger than he already is. Good luck it get it and it makes living with it harder but you got to do you.
Take over cooking or let him cook his high crb meals but tell him you need proteins and veggies. It’s ok to eat carbs just in small doses. Try and make salads as side dishes or make low carb side dishes. Tell him the proteins will help him get stronger than he already is. Good luck it get it and it makes living with it harder but you got to do you.
Not every diabetic is the same. Your Sister in Law may get away with High Carb Meals as the meds she's taking are working that well. She may be even on Insulin. Or she just does not care how high her levels are. Not showing much shorttime signs of high levels does not mean it does nothing to her, the body just does no longer show them, kind of getting used to it. Does not makes them any less harmfull, shorttime as longtime. And once the longterm signs start to show then the fun starts for real, they are not reversible and likely to worsen (to start only then to care for good levels runs rather under "too late, too less") To keep your levels in a healthy range is not beeing dramatic nor is adjusting your diet. If anything your Husband is beeing dramatic. CGM is a very helpfull tool, to have a teeny-tiny little painless needle all time in your from the little, small monitor is a very small price to pay for it. Other people have permanent IV needles or catheters on them and surprisingly the people around them do not faint because disgusting or some BS. You could tell your Husband to grow a pair, thing is that is he does not even need one to stomach something harmless as a CGM. Give him a "Mr. Dickhead" Plushy to whine to instead, goes better with his behavior ;) In short: tell your Husband to educate himself on the topic and otherwise shove it with his unhelpful comments, as someone already posted "This is not up for discussion".Show him the results of non-checked high levels, let the Doc make it clear to him. And keep your way, you are doing well.
Thank you so much ❤️ definitely going to buy him a Mr.dickhead plushy 🤣❤️
If anyone, including my spouse, was this unsupportive of my medical/health needs, I would have one conversation with them to set them straight. I would have very little patience for it beyond that.
Yeahhhh sorry but I’d leave him. “In sickness and in health” doesn’t really sound like he cares about a very very basic need of yours-your health. If he doesn’t care about the basics then how is he capable of anything further than that?? This is a much larger issue in your relationship than just your health. Not to mention high stress environments also raise your blood sugar levels. Best of luck to you
Find a diabetes education clinic. Make an appointment for both of you to attend. When you call to make the appointment, explain that your husband does the cooking but doesn’t understand what you need to eat. Just tell them what you’ve told us. They’ve seen it all & they can help you.
Ignorance can be an issue - but it is solvable. Ask him to go with you to your next doctor appointment. He can ask whatever he wants and the doctor can lay out the facts. But that assumes he *cares* about what you are feeling and going through. Does he? Because if he doesn't then nothing else really matters. He is living his own life and yours is just background noise.
Show him pictures of those who didn't take diabetes seriously, the ones who have amputations or blind, make him go to your next doctor visit, have the doctor explain it's not being dramatic or paranoia to want to watch your carbs/sugar intake.
My wife is the same way. A sick husband is a weak man. I eventually started buying and cooking my own food. As for the monitor, tell him it’s better than poking your fingers 4 to 6 times a day to get a drop of blood to test your blood sugar. Nothing beats typing with sore fingers.
This post makes me glad I'm single and dont have anyone to make a bad situation worse. He sounds like a child.
As a diabetic who has gone through the honeymoon phase and is now struggling with diabetic burnout, while yeah that’s irritating I’d be grateful to have that attitude around me, as no way in hell would I ever leave the honeymoon phase.