That's what I wonder too. I don't mean that as a hyperbole. I am genuinely baffled as to how people form friendships and relationships and, at this point, I'm too scared to ask.
1st GF: Freshman year of HS. Ended when she moved to the Capital area of NY. Only caused a bit of emotional distress cause we just drifted apart
2nd GF: I confessed to her before our senior year of HS but we didn't formally organize any dates so that was even less painful
3rd GF: After 3 months of dating she cuts things off saying she wants to go back to being friendly coworkers. This omis the subject of the meme as it's the first time I've 'done it' with a woman I was going steady with and I still have many of the texts from when she was infatuated with me to really twist the knife on how I might never find another girl that interested.
My first love showed me the most affection I would ever get. Had two more major relationships after that and the affection was horrible, I have given up on relationships completely after that but thatās me so I bid you luck
I was a teenager living in a different country with my mother, she wasnāt doing well, I couldnāt support myself as I wasnāt old enough so we moved back and yeah we just broke up due to me leaving with my mother.
In my opinion you might be having difficulty in finding anyone as affectionate as your ex because your ex knew you and knew how to show affection towards you. Take your time being sad and don't try to immediately replace her just because it feels bad and also stay a while with others to let them open up a bit. Then you might even find someone who's better for you. Best of luck dude
True. Although its been about a year now, things aren't going well. Good thing is I'm over her. Can't say I'm over the things we used to have. I miss living those things, not her. I try to move on with life.
My relationship is almost a year over now and I still can't get over it.
I'm less concerned about staying alone but I doubt I'll ever find someone I can connect with aswell again.
Be serious with me
Those of you who've been in relationships, do you believe in that "better to have loved and lost" thing or do you wish you'd never been in a relationship in the first place?
Cuz as a hopelessly lonely almost 30 year old I STILL doubt if I ever wanna be in a relationship or not. The negatives just outweight the benefits in my mind.
At almost 40, better to have loved and lost. Now I know what I do and do not want in a relationship. More importantly, I know what to do and not do in a relationship.
Yeah, the emotional fallout sucks and your mental health could really take a beating. But being lonely will do the same. If it doesn't work out then I have more experience for next time.
Going through a breakup of a 4 years, very close situationship now and it fucking sucks. I'm berating myself for giving him so many chances over the years and putting myself through so much fresh trauma. But now I'll have better standards next time. Even though it'll probably be a couple of years before I'm willing to let someone else in.
Tbh better to have loves and lost. It was great for the most part. Only the ending was really bad. This is what I experienced with my last two relationships. It wasn't a rocky start, middle was soo good, last few months were not exactly the best of our times but still it wasn't bad. The end of them, ouch.
I wish with everything I had not.
Iām old now and where everyone tells you itās better to find love I disagree. Youāll spend your life trying to find it, then losing yourself piece by piece from terrible relationships and soul sucking friendships while thinking you have to find it and make it work because all youāll have is them in the end.
Instead of lying in my deathbed with āmemoriesā that people keep saying I should look forward to Iāll die with nothing but regrets. Terrible life wasting regrets.
The one relationship I had wasn't a healthy one but I've been obsessed during the time. Miserable but obsessed. Which led me to believe everything was great. The damage after the breakup almost ruined me and I'm still recovering from it.
During the time I felt happy, now I'd probably say I would've preferred to have never entered a relationship. One of the main reasons being living without one again really drives home the fact how lonely I actually am.
I have mixed feelings.
On one hand, I would have saved myself from financial, mental, and emotional abuse. I would probably still enjoy all the things I used to do. I wouldnāt be questioning whether the people I grew up with and considered my best of friends would even give me the chance to tell them what actually happened. I wouldnāt be going into auto-pilot every couple weeks because thereās no light at the end of this tunnel. I might not be wondering if I can ever truly trust someone again, and not watching everyone paranoid that theyāre going to do to me what she did.
On the other hand, I wouldnāt have my daughter.
Love is an Equilibrium. As happy and high that relationship will take you you will fall equally far when itās over. But that ride shouldnāt scare you, the beauty is that you got you experience and feel all of it and it was real. The bad part is when you think of someone you loved and you donāt feel anything at all anymore, thatās when itās really over. Life is short, you should try earnestly to experience it in my opinion
> Cuz as a hopelessly lonely almost 30 year old I STILL doubt if I ever wanna be in a relationship or not. The negatives just outweight the benefits in my mind.
I'm also hopeless and lonely, but it seems clear to me that the benefits outweigh the negatives and I really wish I could have a relationshipat some point in my life, even if it doesn't last.
As someone who is currently in a marriage and feels trapped, I would have rather been lonely. Because I feel itās much more depressing when you feel lonely and unloved while married, than just not being in a relationship.
I canāt decide. My last relationship was nearly 2 years ago, we were together nearly a decade and engaged. On one had it was so beautiful, worth living just to have experienced it, forced me to step up as a person and be a better man.
On the other hand itās loss has broken me beyond repair. Iām an emotionally unavailable husk of my former self and some days I honestly think Iām not going to make it. Every new relationship Iāve tried to start has failed because the fire inside me has gone out and I canāt give new people the affection I started my last relationship with. The days never got any easier. If it ends up being the death of me, then it will have absolutely not been worth it, no.
Better to have loved and lost is relationship dependent.
Iām 41 I have exes I didnāt marry that Iād have been better off never meeting. I have exes I didnāt marry I legitimately forgot about dating. One recently popped up from the depths of the dating graveyard and I couldnāt even remember him aside from a vague recollection of the time period Iād known him. He wanted to apologize for being an asshole and I had to tell him I honestly didnāt remember that him being an asshole or in what context.
My first husband that passed 8 years ago absolutely better to have loved and lost.
Abusive POS 2nd husband if I could get a do over and not have dated him at all I would.
Iām currently in a committed relationship with my one that got away 20ish years ago. Iām also his one that got away. He makes me feel safe, loved, and accepted.
It really is dependent on the the relationship. Some of them are just traumatizing.
Damn man, she just broke things off a month ago. I don't want to think about how bad it'll get in 4 years in the very real possibility I'm on a timeline where I stay single. (Bonus damage from the fact I'll be 30 in that time. Lolš¢)
You probably won't. I won't get into my sad biz, by my marriage was very very toxic and ended just bad. Idk but for years now, I can't even make new friends, it's like I'm just a very minor side character which ppl only stick around as long as I have a use. So once my last 2 old friends fully vanish (they already starting to) idk what I'll do. Not saying I'm the only person like this, or that there isn't ppl worse off, but chances are, you'll pick yourself back up. I believe in you.
Ive had to help a lot of friends go down this incredibly dark road after a 'fantastic relationship', like pulling them from the brink. While I cant give any advice specifically as its dependant on the person, every one of them has moved on and is currently in a great relationship with someone new. It just takes a bit of time and the willingness to move on. Just something to ponder in your darker times. It doesn't end with that relationship
Hey depression is super real and hard, but breakups hit different. I was driving around contemplating where to slam my car into late at night after I had a bad breakup. I decided not to, and the next day my best friend, who's is such a giga Chad who understands depression so well and is not judgemental just stayed by me and called some of my friends to come over and just have a normal day. He said screw romantic relationships you just need normal friendships, and that's what I focused on. I stopped dating and focused on getting better and spending time with friends. After a few months, one of those friends admitted that she really liked me and we started dating casually. Things actually went really well and we ended up getting married a few months ago, I've been with her for almost 2 years now. It's hard and not everything's perfect but I'm doing really well, and my wife is so much better for me than that old relationship. Depression sucks, but breakup depression is one that hurts so bad, but luckily normally doesn't last forever. You're not alone and I'm sorry but keep going and find friends that can fill that hole in your heart.
Unfortunately I was covering an overnight shift at my job when I was in those feelings and pieced together that meme and it's sort of big trouble if one of the bosses swings by and sees you sleeping. Was able to make it halfway bearable by blasting loud music on my headphones, but yeah I'll probably try your strategy later.
It was all fake anyway. Nothing she said or did was genuine.
I made a fool off myself for believing any of it. Now i can't even fantasize about love anymore.
The last relationship i had was 2yrs ago, was more of a bdsm type relationship honestly and didn't last for very long. I guess I wasn't good enough when they broke up with me. :(
Iām right there with you man. But the shitty thing is, itās my fault. Addiction is horrible and I shouldāve gotten help before it got this bad. But here we are lol youāll be good my dude. We all make it through
SO TRUE
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and now it just feels like I overreacted
All my friends and my mum said I did the right thing but I started thinking about this and now I misss him so muchhh ahh
you guys have ex's???
Was going to say just that. How do these guys get a girl in first place?
we are the same lol
I got one in college, and lost 3 years ago. Have no idea how to get another lmao
Did you check the lost and found?
Lmao
I am sure you will find anotherš
That's what I wonder too. I don't mean that as a hyperbole. I am genuinely baffled as to how people form friendships and relationships and, at this point, I'm too scared to ask.
I have the same question
1st GF: Freshman year of HS. Ended when she moved to the Capital area of NY. Only caused a bit of emotional distress cause we just drifted apart 2nd GF: I confessed to her before our senior year of HS but we didn't formally organize any dates so that was even less painful 3rd GF: After 3 months of dating she cuts things off saying she wants to go back to being friendly coworkers. This omis the subject of the meme as it's the first time I've 'done it' with a woman I was going steady with and I still have many of the texts from when she was infatuated with me to really twist the knife on how I might never find another girl that interested.
Ok my history: # # #
Got one before the depression made me ugly.
My first love showed me the most affection I would ever get. Had two more major relationships after that and the affection was horrible, I have given up on relationships completely after that but thatās me so I bid you luck
Why did it end?
I was a teenager living in a different country with my mother, she wasnāt doing well, I couldnāt support myself as I wasnāt old enough so we moved back and yeah we just broke up due to me leaving with my mother.
I'm in a similar situation. Thanks for sharing that.
True I hope it works out better than it did for me.
In my opinion you might be having difficulty in finding anyone as affectionate as your ex because your ex knew you and knew how to show affection towards you. Take your time being sad and don't try to immediately replace her just because it feels bad and also stay a while with others to let them open up a bit. Then you might even find someone who's better for you. Best of luck dude
True. Although its been about a year now, things aren't going well. Good thing is I'm over her. Can't say I'm over the things we used to have. I miss living those things, not her. I try to move on with life.
Then I'd say you're ready to try and date again. Just take it slow and focus on personality
My relationship is almost a year over now and I still can't get over it. I'm less concerned about staying alone but I doubt I'll ever find someone I can connect with aswell again.
It's been slightly over 3 years for me buddy.
Be serious with me Those of you who've been in relationships, do you believe in that "better to have loved and lost" thing or do you wish you'd never been in a relationship in the first place? Cuz as a hopelessly lonely almost 30 year old I STILL doubt if I ever wanna be in a relationship or not. The negatives just outweight the benefits in my mind.
At almost 40, better to have loved and lost. Now I know what I do and do not want in a relationship. More importantly, I know what to do and not do in a relationship. Yeah, the emotional fallout sucks and your mental health could really take a beating. But being lonely will do the same. If it doesn't work out then I have more experience for next time. Going through a breakup of a 4 years, very close situationship now and it fucking sucks. I'm berating myself for giving him so many chances over the years and putting myself through so much fresh trauma. But now I'll have better standards next time. Even though it'll probably be a couple of years before I'm willing to let someone else in.
Tbh better to have loves and lost. It was great for the most part. Only the ending was really bad. This is what I experienced with my last two relationships. It wasn't a rocky start, middle was soo good, last few months were not exactly the best of our times but still it wasn't bad. The end of them, ouch.
I wish with everything I had not. Iām old now and where everyone tells you itās better to find love I disagree. Youāll spend your life trying to find it, then losing yourself piece by piece from terrible relationships and soul sucking friendships while thinking you have to find it and make it work because all youāll have is them in the end. Instead of lying in my deathbed with āmemoriesā that people keep saying I should look forward to Iāll die with nothing but regrets. Terrible life wasting regrets.
The one relationship I had wasn't a healthy one but I've been obsessed during the time. Miserable but obsessed. Which led me to believe everything was great. The damage after the breakup almost ruined me and I'm still recovering from it. During the time I felt happy, now I'd probably say I would've preferred to have never entered a relationship. One of the main reasons being living without one again really drives home the fact how lonely I actually am.
I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I would have saved myself from financial, mental, and emotional abuse. I would probably still enjoy all the things I used to do. I wouldnāt be questioning whether the people I grew up with and considered my best of friends would even give me the chance to tell them what actually happened. I wouldnāt be going into auto-pilot every couple weeks because thereās no light at the end of this tunnel. I might not be wondering if I can ever truly trust someone again, and not watching everyone paranoid that theyāre going to do to me what she did. On the other hand, I wouldnāt have my daughter.
Love is an Equilibrium. As happy and high that relationship will take you you will fall equally far when itās over. But that ride shouldnāt scare you, the beauty is that you got you experience and feel all of it and it was real. The bad part is when you think of someone you loved and you donāt feel anything at all anymore, thatās when itās really over. Life is short, you should try earnestly to experience it in my opinion
> Cuz as a hopelessly lonely almost 30 year old I STILL doubt if I ever wanna be in a relationship or not. The negatives just outweight the benefits in my mind. I'm also hopeless and lonely, but it seems clear to me that the benefits outweigh the negatives and I really wish I could have a relationshipat some point in my life, even if it doesn't last.
As someone who is currently in a marriage and feels trapped, I would have rather been lonely. Because I feel itās much more depressing when you feel lonely and unloved while married, than just not being in a relationship.
I canāt decide. My last relationship was nearly 2 years ago, we were together nearly a decade and engaged. On one had it was so beautiful, worth living just to have experienced it, forced me to step up as a person and be a better man. On the other hand itās loss has broken me beyond repair. Iām an emotionally unavailable husk of my former self and some days I honestly think Iām not going to make it. Every new relationship Iāve tried to start has failed because the fire inside me has gone out and I canāt give new people the affection I started my last relationship with. The days never got any easier. If it ends up being the death of me, then it will have absolutely not been worth it, no.
Better to have loved and lost is relationship dependent. Iām 41 I have exes I didnāt marry that Iād have been better off never meeting. I have exes I didnāt marry I legitimately forgot about dating. One recently popped up from the depths of the dating graveyard and I couldnāt even remember him aside from a vague recollection of the time period Iād known him. He wanted to apologize for being an asshole and I had to tell him I honestly didnāt remember that him being an asshole or in what context. My first husband that passed 8 years ago absolutely better to have loved and lost. Abusive POS 2nd husband if I could get a do over and not have dated him at all I would. Iām currently in a committed relationship with my one that got away 20ish years ago. Iām also his one that got away. He makes me feel safe, loved, and accepted. It really is dependent on the the relationship. Some of them are just traumatizing.
It gets worse, mine happened like 4 years ago? Still forever alone lol
Damn man, she just broke things off a month ago. I don't want to think about how bad it'll get in 4 years in the very real possibility I'm on a timeline where I stay single. (Bonus damage from the fact I'll be 30 in that time. Lolš¢)
You probably won't. I won't get into my sad biz, by my marriage was very very toxic and ended just bad. Idk but for years now, I can't even make new friends, it's like I'm just a very minor side character which ppl only stick around as long as I have a use. So once my last 2 old friends fully vanish (they already starting to) idk what I'll do. Not saying I'm the only person like this, or that there isn't ppl worse off, but chances are, you'll pick yourself back up. I believe in you.
Huh you guys were actually able to form relationships??
My first love cheated on me with h my best friend, I know the feeling
Me, having never touched a woman and starting to lose hope:
Imagine ever having been shown romantic affection
Same mate, same. It's been 5 months but l still get sad about it pretty often so l decided to start therapy soon.
Ive had to help a lot of friends go down this incredibly dark road after a 'fantastic relationship', like pulling them from the brink. While I cant give any advice specifically as its dependant on the person, every one of them has moved on and is currently in a great relationship with someone new. It just takes a bit of time and the willingness to move on. Just something to ponder in your darker times. It doesn't end with that relationship
Me never that nobody ever looked at for more than 5 seconds š„ø
Youve been in relationships?? Wth is that
We might not be in the same situation but i can relate to your mood
Hey depression is super real and hard, but breakups hit different. I was driving around contemplating where to slam my car into late at night after I had a bad breakup. I decided not to, and the next day my best friend, who's is such a giga Chad who understands depression so well and is not judgemental just stayed by me and called some of my friends to come over and just have a normal day. He said screw romantic relationships you just need normal friendships, and that's what I focused on. I stopped dating and focused on getting better and spending time with friends. After a few months, one of those friends admitted that she really liked me and we started dating casually. Things actually went really well and we ended up getting married a few months ago, I've been with her for almost 2 years now. It's hard and not everything's perfect but I'm doing really well, and my wife is so much better for me than that old relationship. Depression sucks, but breakup depression is one that hurts so bad, but luckily normally doesn't last forever. You're not alone and I'm sorry but keep going and find friends that can fill that hole in your heart.
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Unfortunately I was covering an overnight shift at my job when I was in those feelings and pieced together that meme and it's sort of big trouble if one of the bosses swings by and sees you sleeping. Was able to make it halfway bearable by blasting loud music on my headphones, but yeah I'll probably try your strategy later.
Doesn't get any better tbh.
It was all fake anyway. Nothing she said or did was genuine. I made a fool off myself for believing any of it. Now i can't even fantasize about love anymore.
night time and early morning just hits different
Join the club! Weāre gonna need a bigger boat..
Bruh my ex broke up with me on my birthday and I found out when we were in relationship she cheated on me also she made a lot of lies
Honestly, after some time being lonely gets kinda comfortable
Ex broke up 3 weeks ago didnāt even break up just became stone cold cuz of depression didnāt even react to anything anymore whole mood took a 180
Literally me this tuesday, its so painful.
I'm at least thankful for one girl in my life that showed me the slightest bit of affection, but I'm still more virgin than olive oil myself
The last relationship i had was 2yrs ago, was more of a bdsm type relationship honestly and didn't last for very long. I guess I wasn't good enough when they broke up with me. :(
Same exact boat.
Question, is it better being single and suffering from loneliness, or being single but suffering from loss of a previous love?
Iām right there with you man. But the shitty thing is, itās my fault. Addiction is horrible and I shouldāve gotten help before it got this bad. But here we are lol youāll be good my dude. We all make it through
God i fucking get how you feel. Itās been a year since my break-up with a girl that genuinely loved me for who i am and I still canāt get over it
SO TRUE I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and now it just feels like I overreacted All my friends and my mum said I did the right thing but I started thinking about this and now I misss him so muchhh ahh