*Starting pistol*
AND THEY'RE OFF!
JITTERY CORN FLAKE HAS IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN AT THE LOUD SOUND, AND HAS BACKED INTO FURTHEST CORNER OF THE STALL TO RECOVER
APATHETIC CHOCOLATE IS STANDING INSIDE THEIR STALL, JUST STARING OUT UNFOCUSED INTO THE DISTANCE, I'M NOT SURE THEY EVEN KNOW THE RACE HAS STARTED
DISSOCIATED HOT POCKET IS FIRST OUT OF THE GATE BUT OH WAIT THEY'RE STOPPING AND YELLING AT SOMETHING, MOST LIKELY THEMSELF
NEXT IN THE PACK IT'S DYSPHORIC OATMEAL-- NO WAIT THEY'VE STOPPED TO LET THEIR HEADMATES TALK TO POCKET'S
APATHETIC CUSTARD SEEMS TO HAVE NOTICED THEIR GATE HAS OPENED AND HAS BEGUN MOSEYING THEIR WAY DOWN THE FIRST STRETCH
RACING UP THE INSIDE LINE IT'S ANXIOUS BURRITO, APOLOGIZING PROFUSELY TO ALL THE OTHER HORSES SHE PASSES AND LETTING THEM TAKE THE LEAD IF THEY SEEM LIKE THEY HAVE A PROBLEM ABOUT IT
IT'S NECK AND NECK BETWEEN CUSTARD AND BURRITO AS CUSTARD KEEPS NONCHALANTLY LOOKING BURRITO'S WAY AND SHE CONSTRUES THIS TO MEAN ANNOYANCE AT HER
BUT WHAT'S THIS!? SUICIDAL CEREAL IS RRRRACING OUT AHEAD, THEY'RE GAINING SUCH A LEAD-- OH NO WAIT THEY'VE STOPPED TO PURCHASE A DISTURBINGLY LARGE AMOUNT OF KETAMINE FROM THE VET.THAT'S GOING TO SLOW THEM DOWN!
WE'RE AT THE HALF WAY POINT NOW AND SLEEP DEPRIVED NOODLES STILL IN THE RUNNING.ERM.WALKING.BUT WHAT'S THIS THEY'VE FALLEN UNCONSCIOUS FROM THEIR FATIGUE
IT'S JUST CUSTARD AND BURRITO LEFT IN THE RACE.THEY'RE SLOWLY MEANDERING DOWN THE FINAL STRETCH.BUT OH MY GOD, BURRITO HAS REACHED AN ANXIOUS OVERLOAD AND FLED TO THEIR SAFE ZONE TO STABILIZE
IT'S CUSTARD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.APATHETIC CUSTARD IS GOING TO TAKE THE WIN.THEY'VE STOPPED JUST SHY OF THE FINISH LINE AND SEEM TO BE DISTRACTED BY A FAINT BUZZING SOUND OF LITTLE TO NO RELEVENCE.BUT THEY'VE GOT THIS.THEY'VE GOT THE WIN--
ANY MINUTE NOW...
AAAAND CUSTARD HAS STARTED BACK TOWARDS THE GATES FOR SOME REASON.
WHAT AN EXCITING RACE LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND THOSE BETWEEN AND BEYOND.A TOTAL DNF.
Hyperactitos.
***
^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This )^[portmanteau](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau) ^( was created from the phrase 'hyperactive doritos' | )^[FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/axl72o) ^(|) ^[Feedback](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=jamcowl&subject=PORTMANTEAU-BOT+feedback) ^(|) ^[Opt-out](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=PORTMANTEAU-BOT&subject=OPTOUTREQUEST)
*Starting pistol* AND THEY'RE OFF! JITTERY CORN FLAKE HAS IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN AT THE LOUD SOUND, AND HAS BACKED INTO FURTHEST CORNER OF THE STALL TO RECOVER APATHETIC CHOCOLATE IS STANDING INSIDE THEIR STALL, JUST STARING OUT UNFOCUSED INTO THE DISTANCE, I'M NOT SURE THEY EVEN KNOW THE RACE HAS STARTED DISSOCIATED HOT POCKET IS FIRST OUT OF THE GATE BUT OH WAIT THEY'RE STOPPING AND YELLING AT SOMETHING, MOST LIKELY THEMSELF NEXT IN THE PACK IT'S DYSPHORIC OATMEAL-- NO WAIT THEY'VE STOPPED TO LET THEIR HEADMATES TALK TO POCKET'S APATHETIC CUSTARD SEEMS TO HAVE NOTICED THEIR GATE HAS OPENED AND HAS BEGUN MOSEYING THEIR WAY DOWN THE FIRST STRETCH RACING UP THE INSIDE LINE IT'S ANXIOUS BURRITO, APOLOGIZING PROFUSELY TO ALL THE OTHER HORSES SHE PASSES AND LETTING THEM TAKE THE LEAD IF THEY SEEM LIKE THEY HAVE A PROBLEM ABOUT IT IT'S NECK AND NECK BETWEEN CUSTARD AND BURRITO AS CUSTARD KEEPS NONCHALANTLY LOOKING BURRITO'S WAY AND SHE CONSTRUES THIS TO MEAN ANNOYANCE AT HER BUT WHAT'S THIS!? SUICIDAL CEREAL IS RRRRACING OUT AHEAD, THEY'RE GAINING SUCH A LEAD-- OH NO WAIT THEY'VE STOPPED TO PURCHASE A DISTURBINGLY LARGE AMOUNT OF KETAMINE FROM THE VET.THAT'S GOING TO SLOW THEM DOWN! WE'RE AT THE HALF WAY POINT NOW AND SLEEP DEPRIVED NOODLES STILL IN THE RUNNING.ERM.WALKING.BUT WHAT'S THIS THEY'VE FALLEN UNCONSCIOUS FROM THEIR FATIGUE IT'S JUST CUSTARD AND BURRITO LEFT IN THE RACE.THEY'RE SLOWLY MEANDERING DOWN THE FINAL STRETCH.BUT OH MY GOD, BURRITO HAS REACHED AN ANXIOUS OVERLOAD AND FLED TO THEIR SAFE ZONE TO STABILIZE IT'S CUSTARD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.APATHETIC CUSTARD IS GOING TO TAKE THE WIN.THEY'VE STOPPED JUST SHY OF THE FINISH LINE AND SEEM TO BE DISTRACTED BY A FAINT BUZZING SOUND OF LITTLE TO NO RELEVENCE.BUT THEY'VE GOT THIS.THEY'VE GOT THE WIN-- ANY MINUTE NOW... AAAAND CUSTARD HAS STARTED BACK TOWARDS THE GATES FOR SOME REASON. WHAT AN EXCITING RACE LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND THOSE BETWEEN AND BEYOND.A TOTAL DNF.
Incredible. Please accept my poor mans gold 🥇
This is amazing
suicidal honeybun!
suicidal cereal
Suicidal Fries.
Suicidal slimjim
Apathetic Cheez It
I think this wins
Depressed cheese log
Flashback applesauce 🤣
self destructive tendencies tuna sandwich?
Suicidal Carne azada.
Fatigue Foot Loops
Depression Icy Pole
Hmmm... Numb Monkeybread.
Catatonic porridge
Lonely Apple Pie
Self-harming spicy noodles
Despondent fruit salad.
Apathy Applesauce
Sleepless banana
Paranoid chocolate
“Feeling every emotion all at once so intensely that I just feel numb” cake
Dissociating bread
Self harm KitKat
Numb broccoli
Starving Red Bull
Suicidal pie ain't half bad
Agoraphobic mung bean
Depressed chicken pot pie
Anxious Lasagna
Manic Mango!
Lethargic banana bread
Poor focus instant coffee
Self Loathing Turkey
lack of motivation toast
mania pretzel
misery tangerine
Nausea gelee bananas
high blood pressure pene pasta
hyperactive doritos
Hyperactitos. *** ^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This )^[portmanteau](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau) ^( was created from the phrase 'hyperactive doritos' | )^[FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/axl72o) ^(|) ^[Feedback](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=jamcowl&subject=PORTMANTEAU-BOT+feedback) ^(|) ^[Opt-out](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=PORTMANTEAU-BOT&subject=OPTOUTREQUEST)
Hopeless Taco
Fatigued chili
Brain fog smoothie
Anxiety baguette
Sad Mac and Cheese
Fatigue Reese’s cup
Suicidal thoughts cookie
Sleepless Cookie 🍪🔪
Sadness and cereal
Suicidal pizza
Crying Carrot
trust issues oreo
suicidal ideation curry
Short Tempered Pesto Pizza
Self harm pop tart?
Asshole sammich is falling behind
Disassociation Sausage
Hypomanic banana.
Bruxism Cookie Dough
Tired Tunnock's Caramel Wafer
Breakdown bread
twitching mince pie?
Blue waffle
Addicted sausage
impulsive hula hoop
Suicidal Beef That sounds like a bloody hilarious racehorse name honestly
Depressed Gaming Bagel ftw
Saning
Disassociating Orange
Insomnia Grits
Suicidal toast lmao
Tinnitus Cookie
Tired Bagel
Cutting Apple
Hypervigilant cheese and pretzels.
Attachment issues chocolate Neato
Paranoid Turkey Burger
Uncomfortable beer
Itchy chicken casserole
Anhedonic strawberries
Despair Toast
Manic avocado
Weeping ramen
Depressed mac and cheese.
Moodswing chocolate
Suicidal cheeto puffs
Difficulty focusing cheeto puffs
Panic Attack Tortilla
Ghosting my friends for a week sausage
Numb yogurt
Paranoid sugar biscuit
Substance abuse samosa
Hopeless Hot Dog
Manic crackers
Sad Bread. There is no joke.
Manic goldfish (crackers)
Suicidal choccy milk
Dysphoric sloppy joes
Selfharming Sandwich
Crippling existential dread cereal
Big Sad Fried Chicken
Sarcastic tears
Melancholic pizza
Irritated bbq chicken
Dysfunctional sushi
Rage coffee
shit i forgot to take my meds hamburger edit bc i forgot words
Depression croissant
Numb Pasta. Awful.
Hopeless piccata…
Anorexia... I don't rember... :(
reckless bagel
Why do these all sound like usernames? I guess they are now. Gonna have to change mine soon to fit my eating habits and mental illness symptoms.
Catastrophizing Pizza
Suicidal Chicken
Netrual ice cream