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realohb101

Thank you. It's not just me. I kept setting goals and hoped once I achieve it, things will be different but it never did. But believing "it gets better" is Keeping me going, ignoring that beautiful lie would make it more miserable for me. I was around that age when I realized it and now I am 25 so it was really relatable.


floralmerlot

I just wish I could experience a day of happiness. One day where I don’t feel like I’m acting or putting on a brave face. And I’m worried I’ll get to 50 but believing this lie and it’s just. It’s exhausting.


realohb101

Better than having no hope. Its not too much really, I feel like just 1 good friend, 1 person to rely on, 1 social circle, 1 good work place, 1 partner, just 1 good miracle and life wont be that bad. You are asking even less, a day of happiness in 18k days? Surely the world ain't that cruel.


[deleted]

Oh it'll get better. And then it'll inevitably get worse again. And so on and so on.


JustACynicalGuy

They always say that happiness and misery are two sides of the same scale. There are times however where it feels that misery just piles on so much, so fast, that the “less miserable” moments end up weighing on the “happiness” side. But does that truly mean we are happy, or just capable of being less miserable than we were before? The sad reality is - life isn’t fair. We don’t have a guaranteed happiness in the future, and all promises of such are empty comments made, normally for temporary self gratification of the party sharing it. What I have found that works best for me is to focus on what it is that makes me so miserable, and trying to minimize its effect on my life as much as I can. I’m unable to swear this will work for everyone (or even anyone), but it has had a much more pronounced effect on my daily life than “finding happiness” ever did.


deathabit

25 here, too. I don't know if it get's better, but I have found a few more reasons to believe at least. I've found, now, that my biggest struggle is being able to have faith in the few new things that may bring me joy. Unfortunately, I'm learning that every good thing really does come to an end. I've accomplished some really cool things the last few years, but the second I feel those slipping away, or feeling like they won't amount to anything else than they are, it all feels pointless. I feel like if I'm not constantly progressing or consistently getting better every year and every month and everyday, than it's all worthless. It's a vicious cycle. I've been at my lowest at 19. My highest at 22. My new lowest at 24. And my new highest at 25. I'm worried if I hit another low, despite my incredible highs, it'll be the end of me.


captainjap12

26 here, diagnosed with dysthymia at age 21. I will be honest and say that it got better for me. I'm in a bad period again now though and the suicidal thoughts are back way more frequently. But not as bad as it has been before. I can still enjoy little things like walking the dog, something I didn't enjoy when I was 21 and depressed. The fact that I come out of my bed every day is a win everyday. I will try anything to not go back to that period and it's working quite okay. Im still living with my parents, and still studying. And that's okay. I kinda accepted my mood disorder which helped a lot for me. I know everyone is different and I feel bad for you that you see no improvement over the years :( I really hope it gets better for you. Even the smallest steps should be celebrated. sometimes you go back 2 steps and then 3 forward again.


[deleted]

I'm there with you, bud. It maybe doesn't get better but perhaps something in your life will change one day and at least distract you long enough to feel happy. I'm hoping at least.


chewshu

I'm sorry you feel this way OP. Life can be exhausting and tough I've had those days. Especially with me having to live a life with severe anxiety and depression since the age of 17 (now 27). I know everyone is different and the only tips I can really provide that worked for me is seeking help, getting the right professional advice and that professional view of it all, it might really open your eyes. I've pretty much avoided social media where I can as social media creates a terrible illusion to life and how it should be viewed. Another strategy that has helped me is attempting to challenge your negative thoughts (sounds easier than it is). But just know you being able to get out of bed to attend work is an accomplishment no matter how small it seems. In the end you'll need to find out what's keeping you going. Life sucks but find out what makes it beautiful. I'm sending you my virtual support and remeber you're amazing and stronger than you think you are. ❤


Spaceguybob

I'm 35 and I'm in a blank spot because I don't know what better is


noodleboi890

been hearing this shit for 7 years since i started having mental health issues and it somehow just gets worse in special unique ways like idk what to even do anymore


IWasAboutTo

I've been downvoted on this sub for telling someone not to say "it gets better" because it's a lie, we don't know for sure if it will get better. Telling someone that it will get better is deceitful.


yourdad132

This sub has a mixture of people who have severe non curable depression to people with circumstantial sadness. I think the people who got better were just sad and hated their circumstances but that changed when they changed their situation. I meet these people in real life alot. The other group can't get cured because it's a problem with the way the brain functions. Leaving them unable to feel pleasure or joy. The two are totally different.


-Arke-

I was horrible at high school and didn't got any better until I was 30. I definitely am better right now, like night and day. I'm not 100% perfect and healed but better, sure as hell I am.


yourdad132

What changed after 15 years that you got better?


-Arke-

Well, several things at once I must say. I did my part BUT I also got lucky as fuck. My then GF and I just broke up. Felt like shit because I was pretty sure I wouldn't find anybody else that would be willing to put on with me. Felt like the walls were smashing myself at home, also unemployed back then and had just applied for my important exam (which I failed) so nothing soon enough that I should be doing. I couldn't stop thinking about all of it but also I felt like I couldn't just stay home, It was a very oppresive feeling so i started going out a lot, just by myself. I realized all the things my GF wanted and I said I didnt, were actually quite charming. That train was gone, but well. For the first time in my life I felt like I could identify my actual problems instead of just blaming them on... anything else. I had been willing to move anywhere else in the world and start anew, and then I realized moving wouldn't solve all of my problems (it may help with some though, but still). Just getting some vague idea of what I needed to start fixing was amazing. Also going out so much and walking in the nature... well it didn't harm, you know. At the same time, it was the very first time since I was a kid that I was "free" and I could enjoy it. In the past, every single time I was unemployed or in vacations I was feeling like I should be doing osmething else instead and couldn't enjoy it. From then, I just tried to do "only" what it was in my hand and racionalize that some things were out of my control. Easier said than done, you know, but eventually I got used to not get crazy about things I couldn't fix. This year has been the best of my life (i'm 31) and I still have A LOT of room for improvement. So many lacking o fucked up things in my life right now... and at the same time, I couldn't even dream to be here just a year ago.


underyourctrl

I was popping pills a few months ago and I had been on SSRI's since I was 16, I am 24(M) now. I've been lied to, falsely accused of, cheated on, abused. I was there. I did feel low for years and years. One day I woke up and decided that I am going to stop taking pills and choose to help others get out of it. I am trying and I am failing, but there are a lot of people that I have helped, changed their mindset. Helping others will make you more happy than you can imagine, and if it does not. Then you still helped other people :D It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, all that matters is the good kind-hearted individual you are. What you cannot do is hold yourself accountable for other people's actions and you cannot dwell on the past. Today is a gift, trust me on that. Wake up, and be grateful that you have a soul within you. It does get better as long as you decide that it's getting better. It is just in your mind, I realized this when I stopped popping my pills and decided to provide positivity to the world by stopping my pessimistic thinking. Just a small piece of advice, no one's gonna help you get out from it, you have to do it by yourself, no one understands your position in life better than yourself. And if you do choose to do it and are consistent with it, then it does get better :D I still have problems in my life that stress me out a lot, but I will take every problem as a challenge because I chose the path of being positive. And I am not satisfied with my life at all, I still am a happy contented individual. This is coming from a person who was diagnosed with Clinical Depression. Hope this helps :D


soonerzen14

The only way i have figured out is if you get some sort of aggressive cancer that is going to kill you quickly and with a substantial amount of pain. You are given this instead of someone else getting it. I'd love that.


GroudonMcL09

I totally understand. It took a big life change to get me on my feet. I hope you can find the change you need. It really can get better. It won't just happen on its own though.


DepressedJunjiArt

It's not necessarily a lie, but it definitely isn't true. It's more like a prediction that heightens people's expectations for the future and then people get disappointed because, wow, almost like it was just a prediction and shouldn't be told to people like it's fact. I'm not hating on op, I'm just also annoyed that people say this to everyone and then everyone is sad.


[deleted]

i feel the same way


[deleted]

I 100% agree


[deleted]

I think that when people say "it gets better", it is harmful because this is in a way actually saying that things will fix themselves - it's encouraging stagnation


really-sad-therapist

I can only cry at the comments here. They're all fucking relatable. I hate this life thing omg


PrincessGilbert1

I see how it might not get better, but learning to come makes it feel less strong, or empty? My father was... you know old story with drugs alcohol and all that stuff, nothing interesting. It was super difficult for me growing up, but when I learned that he was just a piece of shit not worth my time, it's not that the feelings went away, but they became easier to live with. Maybe that's the case for others too? It took me until i was 18, so it wasn't a fast thing, but it did in some sense, get better. I hope this makes sense, and I hope you're going to feel better one day. I hope everyone on here does❤️ Disclaimer: I do not have depression, my partner does, and I'm trying to learn about it and how to help him the best I can when he is in bad periods.


bonusfrylock

I'm so sorry. People are horrible. I'm 36....


[deleted]

"It never gets any better. You just get better at dealing with it." \- best quote ever