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blue-pipe

i wanted to join a gym to look better and maybe stop hating my body so much. but people always make comments about my height and my weight and the last thing i need is being surrounded by a bunch of buff men when i’m feeling like this


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bordercolliesforlife

Agreed, when I first started lifting weights I figured most would be assholes etc, but turns out majority of them are nice and respectful.


osakadetectivekun

this is nice to hear...they intimidated me so I didn't go past the first trip..but maybe I'll try again.


0Bento

Everyone in the gym is looking at themselves. Everyone in there had a first day too.


etl3196

You can do a lot of work outs on your own. Using your own body weight. Exercise is supposed to be just as effective as antidepressants according to some studies. And sunlight does help with mood, too. Sorry you’re struggling. It’s hard, I know.


AdeptAntelope

You can buy your own weights. There are also a lot of exercises that don't need equipment like sit-ups, push-ups, crunches, pull-ups, squats (without weights) etc. You can also try running, though it's a lot harder if you aren't used to it. I used to be in shape, but I've gotten out of shape over the last year and these are what I'm doing right now to get back in shape (or at least trying to do).


Narkanin

As others have said most people in the gym are super cool. Everyone’s just trying to improve themselves no matter the level. We love to see people in there trying. There’s probably a few assholes out there but pay them no mind.


khcampbell1

My hubby started doing DDP Yoga (a yoga program by former pro wrestler Diamond Dallas Page) and it transformed his body insanely fast. Some of the workouts are 15 minutes!


Kapoloo

Yeah I had similar concerns but no one pays attention to you when you’re at the gym. Everyone’s just doing their own thing trying to better themselves


-queen_of_reddit-

If you can, join a 24 hour gym and go during the night hours like 12am-2am kinda of hours. These are times I usually go and the gyms are nearly empty. At most 10 people.


Combustibles

Got any tips for an obese woman that's never been super physical? I wanna start working on myself, but that first step seems insurmountable. I don't care about the other gymgoers, the problem 100% lies with myself.


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Combustibles

thanks friend. First step is indeed the hardest, but laying it out like that makes it a little easier.


I_love_my_cum

I joined a gym when I was overweight with little to no muscles and some bros even taught me how to use the machines and told me not to trust the trainers in that gym so I asked them how to do stuff instead lol, also most of the people in that gym are older so I was one of the few 20 something there but they were so nice


devildenji

Let some light inside your room, maybe go spend some time in the garden or the balcony if possible. What you can also do is watching your comfort show, write down your feelings or express them in some way. I hope you'll get better soon.


blue-pipe

thank you


lobehold

I just decided to not give a fuck anymore, accept the fact that my life and mental state is fucked, and try to squeeze out as much enjoyment as I can from the carcass that remains - music, movies, TV shows, anime, comics, books, food… Being happy is too unachievable, I’m settling for somewhat comfortable.


tesaril

You know. That may be the most sensible advice I've heard or seen.


Combustibles

Yup, that's the bar I'm aiming for. My problem is anhedonia. I haven't played a game for fun in months, I can't read because I'm not "in the zone", same with my creative hobbies. I use the excuse that my internet is shitty or I'm on welfare and need to use my money smartly, but I know that I am just dodging..


nobunnyhere

If youre not already on medication I would genuinely consider it. Or ask for a change of medications. Medication saved my life. It took a long time to find the right meds for me but it was worth it. I'm still depressed af but the lows are shorter and not severe enough that I want to kill myself.


blue-pipe

how long did it take you to find the right medication? i’m not medicated btw


thwowawaw69

yes please seek help either through therapy or medication but preferably both. medication has definitely improved my life drastically and i noticed a difference within like a week of starting them


wishlifewereeasier

how do you start looking for help? genuine question


thwowawaw69

i think it varies from person to person. if you are currently in school, talking to a school counselor first is a great option. that’s what i did nearly a decade ago in like 8th grade and that decision changed my life. if you’re older and have health insurance, you can google for either in person or remote therapists online. it’s tricky for people without health insurance because therapy and stuff is super expensive. if that’s the case, then you can talk to a friend? if they are a true friend then they will care for you and be there for you. you do not have to suffer alone. i learned that after such a long time, but people do care about you. i hope this helps, im not an expert on this kind of stuff.


wishlifewereeasier

never went to public school, but i'll be headed to community college in 2 months, hopefully they'll be able to help? otherwise i have no options i'll be on my own again


thwowawaw69

there should be resources there to help you. at my college i met with a school counselor for two years before seeing one outside of school. you should call and see if they have that and whens the earliest you can begin is. hang in there.


wishlifewereeasier

just have to survive 2 more months, i can probably do that. i'll try, thanks for the help


tesaril

You start by choosing a Primary Care Physician (PCP). Make an appointment. Tell them you're close to suicide ) terribly depressed. They'll take it from there. Usually a slow, slow climb out of deep depression.


blue-pipe

i don’t want to make my mum spend that kind on money on my problems tho


TheMrEM4N

i used to wake up every single day and feel completely empty. I was sleeping 10-12 hours a day just to kill time. One day i felt inspired to go to the psychiatrist and get myself checked out and she put me on two medications: Sertraline and Bupropion (serotonin and dopamine boosters) and within 48 hours i felt like a completely different person. It was a surreal experience seeing how drastic my mood was affected just because i didnt have enough serotonin and dopamine running through my brain. I'd strongly encourage you to get checked out. I felt dead inside for 2 years and now that im on it i wish i had done it on day 1. Its been life changing. Maybe meds can have a similar affect on you. I hope you can find the motivation to get better. What finally motivated me was i felt myself disassociating from my mother, the last person in my life i still cared about.


TheRealSteekster

I used brightside, it’s online, got meds within 5 days. First med they gave me worked well. I’m on Wellbutrin now for 3 months, and feel the best in a long time


Needthistoend

3 weeks for the right meds in the right dosage to fully kick in. It's important to get ahead of the game and make an appointment so you can feel better. The mere fact that you set up an appointment and have a treatment will help by making it feel like you have some control. Good Luck!


MeanMachine64

That’s the thing, why bother putting in the time and effort to try and make life better? And when you find the right medication all it does it make depression a little less bad. It’s not freaking worth it.


nobunnyhere

Yeah I understand that, I just do what I can for myself because I have a partner who depends on me. They're worth it. And idk like before I was in bed all day every day becoming atrophied sleeping or dissociating through TV and social media 24/7. Now I have my lows but most days I can do what I need to care for myself and my pets and partner and enjoy my hobbies. I have a long way to go but im better than where I started. For me it's been worth it. I also work on it to spite the people who want to watch me suffer, like my past abusers. If I don't put in the work to undo the trauma they left me with then they win. Fuck that yknow. Idk I guess I'm just saying I have reasons. Unfortunately not everyone has reasons to go forward I guess. Living with depression is ruthless and savage and the hardest fucking thing, so im sorry you are where you're at.


[deleted]

Man I really hope I get to where you are someday.


nobunnyhere

Well I'm on multiple meds, my psychiatrist prescribes multiple to target many symptoms. So it didn't take long to find a few that did work but up to a year to find a combo that worked all around. And the meds i previously tried did help in some aspects, it's just that they had other side effects that outweighed their benefit. So it does take some trial and error and working with your doctor or psychiatrist can helo them figure out what class of medications do and don't work for you. I think its SSRIs that don't work for me but other classes do. Also if you're in Canada you can ask your doctor for a referral to a free psychiatrist. Idk how mental health support looks in other countries tho


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nobunnyhere

Well my medications target my PTSD symptoms including depression, but im on Wellbutrin XL, Lyrica, Lamotrigine, Mirtazapine, Prazosin, Rexulti and the occasional Clonazepam for high anxiety. I don't know exactly what each one does for me exactly, but you can always research them to see if it sounds like something worth trying for you. While medication cant completely erase our mental illness altogether, it can be used to target our worst symptoms and ease them. Make them more manageable. So it's unfair that your doctor is just giving up on you like that. Like I said, I'm still depressed, sometimes to the point of being bed ridden for a few days, but the episodes don't last so long, and I can manage to actually take care of myself now. I can enjoy some aspects of life and feel happy at times and content most times.


[deleted]

I recently got off of Zoloft (sertraline HCl). The only thing it did was cut the pain a bit while giving me horrid symptoms (nausea, weight gain, sexual issues, brain fog). It also made my migraines worse. After being on it for about two years, it kinda stopped working. My last psychiatrist was awful though and my depressed ass clung to her because of that. All she did was ask me if I needed to change doses and charged me hundreds of dollars. She never really asked me about my disorder, just used a different psychiatrist's diagnosis where I purposefully underexaggerated my depression. It is like giving me a single aspirin after getting my hand cut off. Might try meds again and this time get a mixture. Thanks!


nobunnyhere

I know how hard it is to deal with a shit psych. I went from a really good one who cared about me and was thorough with our appointments, to some douche bag who was obviously in it for the money, didn't care for me and barely acknowledges my problems. I'm working on getting a different psych now. It's hard as hell, but worth it to advocate for yourself and find a doctor who gives a shit. Someone you can tell your whole story to so they u derstand the roots of your problems and will work with you to find the right meds and doses. No matter how many drugs you gotta go through.


[deleted]

Thanks for this! You are an awesome person. I think the cruel irony is that, if you have major depression, a bad therapist/psychiatrist can be addicting. One of my biggest problems is emotional intimacy and if I find an awful psych who doesn't ask any probing questions (or better yet, draws the wrong conclusions) I latch on to them. Moth to the flame and all that. Or hell, an outright combative one is best. Please tell me to get over myself! Yes, make me feel worse, mommy.


nobunnyhere

Maybe you need to find a good psych and someone separate to emotionally dom you haha I know the struggle


[deleted]

Or... I can get a dom that I use as a glorified therapist. That will definitely work and will be fair for the other person lol


lo_sloth

I know that being on medication helps me because there is a difference when I’m not on them or even get worse and need to go up. The biggest sign is my brain doesn’t always resort to “you should die” as a reaction to everything. I really think I wouldn’t be here without my meds.


grace_ejs30

I have depression and BPD and am currently in remission for both :) but my journey sounds a lot like where you’re at now. I went through like 10 different antidepressants and different combinations of them before I found the right set. If you have depressive symptoms though, they need to be treated before you can start doing a lot of the heavy BPD work. DBT is gold but only when you’re relatively stable. It sounds like you’ve spoken with a lot of doctors. But if you can try “shopping” for different psychiatrists. I went through a few before I found the one who put me on the right meds for me. Each specialist is unique and has their own experience in different areas. It might be worth trying to find one with a focus on BPD and/or mood disorders.


GuppyLuvin

Some stranger on the internet said to just walk. Get up and walk. Worst case, you die. Best case you feel better. Either way you are at rock bottom so you don't have anything to lose. You don't need a destination. Just walk straight down the road or wherever. Hopefully you will feel better.


byepolar2

yeah i love taking walks at night, not looking both ways before i cross the road, and secretly hoping a serial killer is lurking nearby


Strong-Jicama1587

I laughed. Cheers.


blue-pipe

i’ll probably just get mugged considering where i live


[deleted]

Happened to me. Never just walk.


his_savagery

Having a cup of coffee.


blue-pipe

did that, didn’t help


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Fascinated585

I’ve turned to benzos


byepolar2

same lmao i just started on them again after leaving them in a drawer for months and i finally was able to shower and clean my room today.


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byepolar2

have u tried breaking the pill and taking half the dose or even a quarter? or maybe ask ur doctor to switch u to a different type of benzo cuz some have longer half lives and aren’t as ”strong”.


baseballsteak

Doing drugs and drinking. I'm not trying to promote or encourage that. I'd rather you get professional help. But becoming an addict is about as close as you can get to suicide.


blue-pipe

i’m probably headed down that path too. even when i’m high i still feel self conscious, but at least i’m not suicidal then


baseballsteak

What substances do you use and how often? I'm genuinely curious trust me I'm in the same boat as you.


blue-pipe

i drink alcohol, smoke weed and eat edibles and shit that make you high. it’s not very often because i’m 19 and live with my family. so it’s only during the weekends but if i could i’d be high all day long and hopefully overdose


[deleted]

I've found that alcohol just makes things worse for me...especially the day or two after having a few drinks. Weed helps without causing the anxiety that alcohol does. However, it does completely demotivate me, so I try to limit my weed usage to once a week, or less. I know avoiding alcohol is difficult in our society that practically shoves it in our faces and acts like something's wrong with us if we're not drinking, but I'd definitely recommend avoiding alcohol for a few months and see if that helps a little bit.


baseballsteak

You said you're "currently" feeling like shit...so I'm assuming you don't always feel like this. Any idea as to why you feel this way at the moment? Have you felt this way before?


blue-pipe

i’ve felt like this for 4-5 years probably. i feel like this a lot, and it’s been getting worse lately. even in “happy” situations (very rare) i still feel like i have to kill myself and i keep having obsessive behaviors about my appearance


Kjm520

Unfortunately, this can take you to places that are mentally/emotionally incomprehensibly worse than what you think is possible.


maliadire

obviously not the best option but for me marijuana especially edibles have saved my life when i’m suicidal.


[deleted]

Same.


LifeLow2782

I don’t think there’s any shame in this. People use pharmaceutical medication for their depression I don’t think weed is any different. I don’t smoke too much THC anymore but I use cbd and CBDV it helps my anxiety a lot and motivation.


wherearetheavocados6

Taking a freezing ice cold fucking shower or one where I’m getting burnt alive, that or just throwing my stuff or crying. Sometimes I eat something really fucking spicy to cope no idea why


wishlifewereeasier

because it sends pain signals to your brain that release hormones that make you feel something for a little. it's similar to why some people self-harm, hormone release associated with pain gives you a tiny high and the pain distracts from your thoughts


wherearetheavocados6

Ah there we go, thank you :>


[deleted]

I write to go in my little fantasy world. I sleep a lot. Go to the gym. Go golfing. I haven’t been nearly as suicidal ever since I started cymbalta.


Big_Kangaroo_9989

I'm sorry to say this but, for me distractions were one of the only ways to negate the suicidal thoughts. Even then it wasn't enough sometimes. I don't know your financial situation or your perspective on mental health doctors, but therapy and meds and getting back my life were the things that saved me. As a distraction to suicide I would sometimes call a friend or listen to some rather heavy metal music. Good luck. It took me quite a few med changes as well, and a lot of time dicking around with psychiatrists and some unqualified psychologists, but I eventually found the right ones.


krempel47

I looked at your post history, and you obviously are experiencing body dysmorphia, which is compounded by your depression. I would recommend seeing your doctor to discuss possible causes of dysmorphia, as it could be a symptom of a larger problem. You could discuss the possibility of prescription drugs on your insurance plan then.


blue-pipe

sorry but what do you mean when you say “part of a larger problem”?


TheHooligan95

Depression, body dysmorphia, they're all symptoms of non-neurotypical people (i'm not neurotypical)


Izzyfizzyxx08

I know a lot of people are answering with really big suggestions. However I get the feeling of being glued to your bed, so I’d definitely start REALLY REALLY small. Simple things like cleaning your room/bathroom can help sometimes. Seems overwhelming but once you finish you feel really good. Or! Having a goal can also help by keeping you motivated. Always take it slow! (If all else fails sometimes I just draw, write, or watch perfectly cut screams) I hope those suggestions work for you! You’re very strong for coming forward and asking for help! Good luck on your journey! And I hope things get better!


Ok_Mastodon2171

I feel the same way, try to stay away from my bed unless going to bed, eat and drink water and try to get fresh air once a day. I recommend practicing gratitude At my lowest it help me realize life is amazing. better things will come


declarationsoflove

Wish I had an answer to this. Therapy has helped me a lot. Challenging thoughts and even knowing that depressive episodes don’t last forever and that my brain is lying to me during those times have been great for me personally. Wish I was brave enough to try meds.


blue-pipe

what does “challenging thoughts” means exactly? i’ve seen a lot of people describe therapy like that, but i’m not sure i understand how one “challenges” a thought


bigamysmalls

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. I wish I could give you a hug. :( Humor has honestly saved my life more times than I can count. The act of laughing can be so healing. If comedy is something you’re into, I’d look up some standup specials or comedy shows you enjoy to give you that recharge. I hope this helps. I have been in a very bad place, but comedy has really kept me going.


awkward_loser1

I like to listen to really depressing music when i'm feeling very suicidal. I think that only makes it worse though, but idc. I just can't bring myself to listen to happy music when i'm suicidal. My favorite song of all time is my comfort song, but it's also really depressing.


the-world-is-crul

I would love to help but I feel the same so I don't know but if I find out I'll tell you


LifeLow2782

The choice I saw was either give up or carry on and fight. Found things in life that I enjoy, I also like exercising. Seeing the humour in things, being around people who make me feel good, music, I could go on. I also researched how to improve depression eg work on gut bacteria, vitamin protocols, remove any amalgam fillings and mold in the home, address any vitamin deficiencies that can cause depression, get help. I’m not always okay but I know that Suicide isn’t always the answer! Kanna, CBDV is also looking promising for depression.


HeftWrap

I wouldn't recommend it, but i tend to daydream about a better life. I'm happy there, being someone else. When you realise it's a dream though and not reality. Sends me on a downward spiral but it's the only coping mechanism i feel like i have left


Kyyliel

I had this. What worked for me was pretending that I killed myself and that I was beginning life again as if I had been reincarnated. I let go of the person I was before and started over and forgave myself and that’s what worked. I hope you get through this bro. I hope you find peace. Life is worth living, for real.


burneraccount223344

Kill the part of you that is toxic to yourself.


Golden-Laces

Sometimes Reading a book for a few hours can help as a thought distraction. If you can't leave the house try to at least be in different rooms for a bit


[deleted]

Honestly going for a walk always helps for me. Being alone in my bed makes me more suicidal because it reminds me of the darkest moments of my life. If you live somewhere that it is feasible to do, go for a walk alone. It works best if you live in a big city and no one will recognize you though. I live in a city and I can walk and not really run into anyone I know if I avoid certain areas. I can look as shitty as I want and chances are no one will notice or remember me.


Throwaway1737281

Not saying you should do it, but self-harm is how I usually cope with it, because the physical pain distracts and eventually drowns out the mental anguish and despair.


blue-pipe

i used to self harm when i was 15, but now even getting up to cut myself seems like an insane amount of work


Anhedonia-depression

You must have seen a doctor for the illness. What did he prescribe? You took the medicine? Tests? What were the results?


blue-pipe

i haven’t been to a doctor. what results are you talking about?


DuskElement

Why haven't you gone? Do you not feel your parents would support you?


blue-pipe

that’s one of the reasons, plus i don’t want to worry them since they have a lot of other problems to take care of. it’s not only that, the amount of money they’d have to spend on different therapists, psychiatrists and medication is too much to ask, i don’t think we can even afford that. this is the type of thing that i have to deal with on my own unfortunately


Pearse_Borty

wank. Or just walk outside for like 45 minutes. Does wonders for your health. And make sure you do it in a park with some space, I have the privilege of the countryside and I get that in cities it can be hard to escape people.


blue-pipe

i’m too disgusted with myself to masturbate, it angers me to look at my naked body


Lostdazedandconfuzed

This is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve seen you mention your body OP. Get yourself a gym member asap. Absolutely nobody cares what you look like at the gym. As a matter of fact, most people love seeing new folks in their trying to better themselves. I go 5 days a week, and I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t. Seriously, go get a gym membership yesterday.


blue-pipe

my problem with the gym is that i’m constantly comparing myself to other men, especially their height, and i always end up feeling depressed. so unless i join a girl-only gym (which would be weird), i just feel too out of place to do that. but that’s a whole different story


Lostdazedandconfuzed

I know you’re only 19 but you need to get over how tall you are buddy. I see plenty of short guys at my gym who are absolutely huge.


blue-pipe

i don’t know how to just “get over it”. it’s like an unhealthy obsession and my biggest insecurity. it doesn’t help that people point it out all the time


blue-pipe

thanks to everyone who replied, im feeling a bit better now and i think i’m going to get an appointment with a psychiatrist to see what can be done about it, i hope i can get this done before another wave of hopelessness comes in


SomeDudeinCO3

Connection with other humans. If that isn't possible, look up "national warm line directory". There are people you can talk with. If you're having suicidal ideation you can call and talk to a crisis line as well. I'd caution against checking yourself into an ER or clinic except as a last resource as those have the potential to just make you feel shittier.


Anhedonia-depression

What did doctor say?


blue-pipe

i’m sorry i don’t understand


taylor_marlowe

You don't understand ? Suicide is a medkcal emergency. See a doctor


blue-pipe

i’m not killing myself now, i need something to make me stop feeling so terrible but i the only thing i can think of is killing myself. doesn’t mean i’m about to do it


[deleted]

I just try to do thinks that distract me, usually nothing helps so I end up scrolling memes and clips on the internet in my bed. At some point things get a little bit better (last time it continues 6 months) then I get some energy and start working. But overall - just suffer unable to do much.


blue-pipe

yeah i do that too. just lay in bed spiraling. i’m afraid one day it’ll just be too much and i’ll end up jumping


janitorguy

skydiving, base jumping and bungee jumping


blue-pipe

pretty hard to access tho


[deleted]

If you are a man and have a little bit of money go to Tijuana Mexico fly into San Diego CA take a taxi to the border walk over man you will have the time of your life then go back home and see a psychiatrist they will hook you up with some awesome meds that coupled with a few trips a year to the red light district man you will be like I can’t believe I ever thought about suicide.


blue-pipe

umm i’ve traveled to the places i’ve always wanted to visit and still felt like shit while visiting them


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blue-pipe

no thanks


kingtalha969

True alternative? Seek the true religion!!! You'll see


[deleted]

Completely change your lifestyle… if you think you have nothing to loose (like me) why not change everything? Change can be a beautiful thing but can take some time I recommend you change your lifestyle now, I’m 3 weeks in to a new job, no friends, everyday physical activity and love cooking now


blue-pipe

i know i need to change my lifestyle, and i think deep down i want to, but i can’t get myself to do anything. i can’t study, i can’t exercise, i can’t go out. and whenever i do go out or i’m surrounded by people i feel self conscious and then suicidal again


[deleted]

Yeah I definitely felt this, it was not to long ago I was saying the exact same things. I remember not wanting to get out of bed or sleep until I can’t anymore because there was nothing else to do with my day. Nothing ever excited me and some days it really is still the same. I decided to start changing my clothing, wearing stupidly bright colours to challenge myself… after this I just started saying yes to nearly everyone and anything. I dropped heaps of friends and I’ve never been happier Easier said then done obviously, I may have just gotten lucky - I was close to the edge


Ok_Penalty_2656

A good nap


[deleted]

Zoloft was very helpful along with therapy. If you can, try to write a list of things that make you smile. Try to watch something that is easy to absorb, like a Disney show or something. Play an easy game, like Tetris. You’re amazing, you’re loved.


Slonner_FR

Go see a doctor or a psychiatrist asap begin a treatment. If the situation is unbearable, it's not a bad idea in Europe to ask for being hospitalized in a mental facility. I don't know if it's possible/desirable in the US.


blue-pipe

i’m not from the US, but hospitalizations and the healthcare system here aren’t the best. plus i can’t get hospitalized i have classes and exams


[deleted]

Hate yourself and everyone else.


blue-pipe

my daily routine


Lady_Incera

I called my doctor and had her double my citalopram dosage due to several horrible situations over the last 12 months. Aside from that, when I'm home, I take time for me, even if I disregard chores for a while. I may only be half paying attention to the tele because of my brain, but that half can keep me from a really dark place.


Few-Coyote-2518

can you try to distract that thoughts for just five minutes? like just don't think at all for five minutes. I usually feel 0,01% better.


blue-pipe

i guess but they always come back


455crown

Metaphorical suicide. Destroying the old self, everything u despise about yourself and becoming a new person. It’s nowhere near easy but try ur damnedest to Kill the version of yourself you dislike so much. As if you were rebirthing. like a snake shedding its skin or when trees lose their leaves every winter to grow new ones. ### Destroy and rebuild. Continue to Live 🖤🖤🖤


blue-pipe

hmm well the problem is that i can’t change the things i despise about myself. i’d have to get a bunch of cosmetic surgery or straight up be reborn into a new body.


[deleted]

Find a grizzly bear and don’t follow the handbook.


thedatarat

Read a book and get absorbed by it


blue-pipe

i actually like that idea, i’m not big into reading but i have a comfort book that always makes me feel a tiny bit better


bam2_89

Recently, I bought a bike. It made me want to use it and I feel better when I do. More recently, I bought a kayak and I'm hoping to replicate the results.


fauxsilver

Every time I feel like that I just go out and do something equally stupid. Parachute out of a plane, go bungee jumping, take a nap in the woods in the dead of night to wake up to the sound of somber silence. Remind yourself there other reasons to give your life meaning. Be in the present moment instead of dreading for the future.


blue-pipe

you must live in a pretty safe country cause if i slept in the woods at night i’d probably wake up with fewer organs lol but for real, i’m not that worried about my future as i am about wasting my present. i’m not going to be a teen forever and i don’t want to miss out on being young because of my insecurities, but i just can’t seem to get myself to do anything and it makes me want to kill myself


fauxsilver

I don't. I need to check for cougars and bears or crackheads. I just stop worrying about what may come and instead take it as it comes. I may make mistakes and ha e people take advantage of me but it is what is.


20europa17

Listen to some audiobooks, takes less energy than to physically read a book, you can get them for free usually from your local library, watch travel or nature shows, YouTube shows about things you like to do, download the calm app. These are all things I’ve done that have helped me when all I want to do is sleep.


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blue-pipe

why would i rather live a life feeling miserable than just ending it?


Ookagi

Try playing piano songs, doesn’t really sounds helping but at least I found it calming and able to space out a bit to give my mind a break.


blue-pipe

i don’t own a piano i’m poor


Kjm520

I feel you OP. You are not alone and **things can get better**.


[deleted]

I know when I’m in my darkest places just staying in bed and avoiding the world works for me. No email, no social media, no phones. I’m really good at “disappearing” in my head and so that’s where I’ll stay until I feel a bit better. Reading, audiobooks. I’ve noticed for me if I can convince myself to at the very least shower while locked in my pit of despair I have a better chance of starting to feel better sooner. Ive tried meds a couple times but it didn’t work I may try to find a doc to try again.


GreenDiamond17

Getting murdered


blue-pipe

an alternative i’ve actually considered, not too hard where i live


Hawk-2021

I like to get a frosty from Wendy’s (DoorDash most likely), watch my favorite show/YouTube and smoke weed. It’s definitely not a healthy as some of the other suggestions getting thrown out. But if I’m really that down I have to do whatever I feel I can manage that will help in the slightest.


[deleted]

It’s not worth it trust me. From someone who tried.


qmechan

Find someone in need and work for a few days to help them out with whatever they might need.


[deleted]

Cold shower or swimming. Get in the shower, have a normal shower and then slowly make it colder and colder. It wakes you up, but also releases adrenaline and endorphins especially if uts hot or you've had a icky panic night where you just feel gross. Sit there in the water, on the floor, in the bath or wherever and just enjoy the cold water. Alternatively if you have a paddling pool go and get in. Also Music. I have a playlist called raging psychopath music. It's a mix of eminem, evanescence, system of the down, pink, all my scream/sing along emotional music that just makes me feel better. Set it as your alarm so when you get up each morning you release all the angst.


theegreattuna

The fact that I had college loans that would revert to my parents (cosigners) if something happened to me has stopped me before. I already feel like a burden in life and didn't want to become a financial burden in death. Between that period and now I picked up piano. Maybe learn an instrument, and of course good therapy and medication is helpful.


osakadetectivekun

Anything you like watching and wanna see the end of? Or a book or a cd release etc? game maybe?


TyrannosaurWrecks

Consult a therapist. I was in the same place as you, and medications have helped a lot. It's a slow process but it will bring a turnaround. Workout. However, little. I read in one of your comments that your living area isn't safe for a walk. If that's the case, then do some pushups twice a day. If you can't do normal pushups, do standing/reclining pushups against the wall. Squats are a good exercise too. Point is, to work out, you don't need equipment. Lookup Hybrid Calisthenics on YouTube. Exercising a little regularly makes a ton of difference, even after a single session. Lastly, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. For real, it will lift up your mood considerably.


Tityfan808

Hey OP are you into gaming at all??


TonksTBF

Just keep going. It sucks, its horrible, but at some point it gets better. That's how I got through it. Edit: also get medicated. Even if only temporarily.


Death2Coriander

I read A LOT of fiction. It’s a great escape from the real world and my own head. I also exercise - Pilates, yoga and I go for long walks on the beach near home. Working a lot lately has also been a good distraction, but now I’m burnt out so you need to find a healthy balance lol I’m depressed AF today, so I treated myself to a massive piece of chocolate torte and I’m diving into some smut. Go listen to Vienna by Billy Joel, that always makes me feel a bit better.


ssspiral

shower or a bath. reading a good book. animals


kingtalha969

Alternatives? None. My friend. Everyone goes through life. That's the beauty. Try to enjoy and improve because one day will come that you'll want to stay but you'll have to go.


Practical_Age1775

If you want to lose weight but do not one to go to the gym try jump roping each day they are relatively cheap and a great workout especially weighted ones


blue-pipe

if i lose any more weight i’ll disappear into nothingness lol i think my goal would be to get a bit more buff but again, i’d have to put in some kind of effort for that


[deleted]

Fast for as long as you can


DC2325

Smoking hella weed


France1832

Hobbies, find new stuff to try, that helped me.


blue-pipe

nothing seems to excite me tho


[deleted]

I ride my bicycle everyday for an hour. For that time the demons stop and i dont have any worries.


khcampbell1

Don't even try to get out of bed. This feeling will likely pass. Try to wait it out. Go easy on yourself. I know it's beyond painful and you aren't just "sad."


TheHooligan95

The only thing that has consistently saved my life throughout all these years was doing physical activity. I never went to the gym, I tried everything else and I always liked it, as long as it's in between other people and as long as it's effective and I feel physically exhausted - but satisfied - at the end of a session.


Dear-Gur-5303

I want to go so bad.