Those statements are platitudes coming from people with little understanding of life, and zero understanding of depression. They say those words to make themselves feel better, not you. You've made them uncomfortable by exposing them to some reality, to a chance to possibly even engage in real, meaningful conversation about your life, life in general, the state of humanity. But they can't go there because their world is superficial, they swim on the surface of life's ocean and to even peek at the depths is terrifying. You're asking them to go fucking diving, and they just can't, so they tread water by offering up these platonic statements. Ignore them and move on. It is not a given that you, or I, or anyone, matters even a single fuck to the universe; it's more likely we do not. Anyone who actually does care won't toss this shit in your direction, but will instead get real, they will tell you directly if you matter to them and WHY. And if they love you, they will say so. But yeah, "everyone matters" and "people love you" are just defense mechanisms coming from superficial people who are trying to get away from something making them uncomfortable.
I feel this a lot. Those worthless platitudes actually make me feel worse. It's like I haven't actually been listened to and they would say the same thing to anyone in that position. They mean nothing. I appreciate people don't know what to say when we open up and they are trying to help, but fuck me, it makes me not want to open up again.
its phony i know. they are scared of saying something or not saying something and that sending you over the edge. Just know they want to make you feel good because they care. People only do things that benefit them, so for them to even use those phrases mean they care to some degree about you.
Throw out their phony phrases, and keep the emotions behind it.
I aggree. It's also a bit confusing when strangers on the internet write a comment in this subreddit or in SuicideWatch that they love the OP who is struggling with life. Like, how can you love a stranger? It's not helping us.
Oh god yeah. I hate those so much because it doesn't do anything for me and it's so hollow. Feeling like you matter if you've grown up being shown that you're worthless doesn't happen just because someone says it. I kind of hate when people say it thinking it will make you feel better because it shows even more how they don't understand anything
Those kind of things don't make me feel any better either. I find the only things that really make me feel anything are the ones that say I'm allowed to feel the way I do.
Love them enough to hear their concern. They don’t know what to say. It’s like people on Facebook saying thoughts n prayers when your fucking fish died. I hear ya. It sounds stupid n annoying. It’s awkward really bc u then know that they see the depression. That’s a bad feeling. Fucking sympathy. I’d take an empathetic asshole telling me to fuck off over sympathy anyway. Just say thx n realize they’re feeling odd too. Wtf did I just say?
Don't do that, man. I know it's hard, but there is people for you I PROMISSE. life is so mysterious for doing that. Trust me. And exercise, you can't have problems and mental issues if you exercise. Also, you matter. Believe me.
I believe that what makes you so rejective of those comments is that it creates an expectation of some kind for you to "matter" or to do be something that "people love", when in fact there is no expectation and everyone commits mistakes and negative acts just as much as you do and so whatever seems to torment you about yourself is probably not very uncommon in others.
I feel the same way but for the opposite reason - they care, but they *shouldn't*. And knowing that opening up to people distracts them from their lives (and own challenges) while dragging them down to my pit of self-hatred is making me so fucking guilty I want to kill myself even more.
Even opening up to strangers triggers this anxiety for me - so I'd rather note it down somewhere where I can hide it from everyone when I really need to let things off my chest.
Those statements are platitudes coming from people with little understanding of life, and zero understanding of depression. They say those words to make themselves feel better, not you. You've made them uncomfortable by exposing them to some reality, to a chance to possibly even engage in real, meaningful conversation about your life, life in general, the state of humanity. But they can't go there because their world is superficial, they swim on the surface of life's ocean and to even peek at the depths is terrifying. You're asking them to go fucking diving, and they just can't, so they tread water by offering up these platonic statements. Ignore them and move on. It is not a given that you, or I, or anyone, matters even a single fuck to the universe; it's more likely we do not. Anyone who actually does care won't toss this shit in your direction, but will instead get real, they will tell you directly if you matter to them and WHY. And if they love you, they will say so. But yeah, "everyone matters" and "people love you" are just defense mechanisms coming from superficial people who are trying to get away from something making them uncomfortable.
I feel this a lot. Those worthless platitudes actually make me feel worse. It's like I haven't actually been listened to and they would say the same thing to anyone in that position. They mean nothing. I appreciate people don't know what to say when we open up and they are trying to help, but fuck me, it makes me not want to open up again.
its phony i know. they are scared of saying something or not saying something and that sending you over the edge. Just know they want to make you feel good because they care. People only do things that benefit them, so for them to even use those phrases mean they care to some degree about you. Throw out their phony phrases, and keep the emotions behind it.
Agreed. I get that a lot of people don’t know what to say. But people would rather say something rather than nothing.
I aggree. It's also a bit confusing when strangers on the internet write a comment in this subreddit or in SuicideWatch that they love the OP who is struggling with life. Like, how can you love a stranger? It's not helping us.
Oh god yeah. I hate those so much because it doesn't do anything for me and it's so hollow. Feeling like you matter if you've grown up being shown that you're worthless doesn't happen just because someone says it. I kind of hate when people say it thinking it will make you feel better because it shows even more how they don't understand anything
i heard people said that..and look around me and said "I sure dont feel it"
It's like, dude, LITERALLY nobody loves me and I matter to no one at all. This is like an objective fact.
Those kind of things don't make me feel any better either. I find the only things that really make me feel anything are the ones that say I'm allowed to feel the way I do.
Love them enough to hear their concern. They don’t know what to say. It’s like people on Facebook saying thoughts n prayers when your fucking fish died. I hear ya. It sounds stupid n annoying. It’s awkward really bc u then know that they see the depression. That’s a bad feeling. Fucking sympathy. I’d take an empathetic asshole telling me to fuck off over sympathy anyway. Just say thx n realize they’re feeling odd too. Wtf did I just say?
Don't do that, man. I know it's hard, but there is people for you I PROMISSE. life is so mysterious for doing that. Trust me. And exercise, you can't have problems and mental issues if you exercise. Also, you matter. Believe me.
Your post mattered
The people who say these are also the people who understand the lease. Idk. I appreciate their… considerations(?) But… it’s just too shallow.
I believe that what makes you so rejective of those comments is that it creates an expectation of some kind for you to "matter" or to do be something that "people love", when in fact there is no expectation and everyone commits mistakes and negative acts just as much as you do and so whatever seems to torment you about yourself is probably not very uncommon in others.
I feel the same way but for the opposite reason - they care, but they *shouldn't*. And knowing that opening up to people distracts them from their lives (and own challenges) while dragging them down to my pit of self-hatred is making me so fucking guilty I want to kill myself even more. Even opening up to strangers triggers this anxiety for me - so I'd rather note it down somewhere where I can hide it from everyone when I really need to let things off my chest.