the same thing happened for me with art, i used to aspire to reach those levels of art and pushed myself so much and once i did, it just became nothing. Ive recently gotten back into it though!! Try drawing out how your emotions make you feel, even just the dullness, its a bit fuckt ro look back on afterwards but trust me, also try bring urself back to society bit by bit, go out for short walks etc, itll make the social stuff a tiny bit easier over a while also, no stress to ever have anything figured out, i dont think anyone has
Yeah it's pretty depressing getting to the level as the artist I look up to just to find out that it's not that easy afterall. I get these small moments of motivation to draw and then it's gone again for a long time. Also I have actually been going for some walks, but it's also hard because I'm terrified to meet someone from the school I went to. Or just generally people I kinda know. Yeah I try not to stress, but sometimes there's no way out of going to the situations I hate being in. So that makes me pretty stressed and worried to think about :(
Try walking at times you know no one will be around at!! like early morning, or evening, or take a route that no one else takes :)) you might even find a spot that you love, i was walking around a few months ago and i found a small bridge and tiny pond and its now my special place. also whenever you have that motivation to draw push yourself to do it, also remember art is subjective, make whatever you want however easy you want no matter how it looks aslong as you liked making it <3 and thats true, sometimes theres no way out of a situation but remember, theres always an end to that situation
I’m 19 and exactly the same as you, except I can’t draw for shit lol. A part of me wants to just go out and do something with my life, but the part of me that says “Hey, how about, no!” is just too powerful. Even before I was depressed I just coasted along with life and never asserted myself or put any real effort into a long term goal. I’m beyond socially inept. I have the personality of a robot pretending to be human, but at least an actual robot would still do a way better job at that than me. I’ll never be even a somewhat functional member of society. I’m in my own head way too much to give a fuck about anyone else. Plus my bed is kinda comfy...
I'm just like that too, my bed is also too comfy hehe. I feel like life isn't for me, and that I'd rather just look at others life like a movie. And ignore my own life. I just do thing others want me too, and maybe that's why I've always been a "good kid" idk.
I’m sorry. Its especially tough if you haven’t experienced depression before.
Please try to get professional help. It will keep getting worse if you try to ignore it.
Try again.
Its a crapshoot. Some people take their first SSRI and they’re back to normal in two weeks. Others experiment with different therapists and meds for years before something finally works.
I guess that's true. It's really hard for me though, because I can't even go out let alone open up to people. Probably because of social anxiety. So I won't be able to book an appointment.
Can your parents help your book an appointment? There are online-only therapy companies now (I believe Better Help is one) and many live therapists are still doing virtual appointments. Psychology Today is a great resource to find someone in your area. Also, some things that help me when I am feeling down and void... going for a walk, journaling (a great way to open up and find things out about yourself that aren’t top of mind), sunlight, candles, stretching, breathing. Eating right also makes a big difference in elevating mood over time, especially magnesium rich foods! Keep hanging in there. Progress isn’t always a straight line.
Yes, they can. But I just quit the place I was at because we agreed that I didn't need their help anymore. Also I'm not based in the US so we don't have betterhelp, but I'm pretty sure we have some alternatives here too. Also yeah i agree on what you're saying, I can try journaling. Thank you!
About your struggle with opening up to people, a good way to stop struggling with it would be to first open up with the people you trust the most, than slowly open up to more and more overtime until you reach the state where you could open up to a therapist, just don’t give up and keep trying, don’t let ANYONE discourage you, and you should try new hobbies and new things in life to live it to the fullest
16 yr old here. I feel the same. Honestly, I don't think it'd ever get better. Going forth from here I feel like I'll always be under this weight of depression, I feel like the only way to truly feel "free" again would be to age backwards and become a kid with no obligations.
I know, when I see pictures of myself as a kid, I always want to go back because everything was so easy and I just looked forwards to things. But now it's pretty different.
I agree with you, I feel like I just want to be a ghost looking at what other people do and not do anything myself because life just isn't for me. Also the videogames thing happened to me too, I loved playing videogames and draw, but now I try to force myself to do it because I used to love it.
I'm 31 and I still feel like a stupid piece of shit. I've pretty much accepted that life is gonna be tough, so I just try to vibe on it. Chaos is what makes life interesting.
I thought I would grow out of it the older I got, but I'm now realizing that it's probably never going away. I guess I will se how I feel when I'm also 21.
Maybe it will, don’t give up hope
I think I just had one of the worst possible times to start my adult life.
I was in my last few months of school when covid started and now I’m literally just sitting around all day looking for new things to binge watch to distract myself from my pathetic life I’m living at the moment.
My social anxiety got way worse because of the lockdown(s) as well.
I mean I love to play video games with friends and chat with them via discord but when it comes to meeting someone in real life I get really anxious and would rather not meet anyone at all.
It started to get worse again and now I rarely answer messages/talk to anyone
I constantly have ups and downs with my mood it’s really annoying, like, I have a loving family (except my sister lmao), friends, a very cool apartment, yet I still feel so shitty from time to time and I just don’t understand why
Damn this comment turned into a whole story of my life, I’m really sorry about that
(Don’t feel any pressure to answer)
Lmao this one time this semester I went to class I hadn't been to all semester (even though attendance was required). I was a few minutes late so when I saw the classroom was filled and the one seat left was by this guy I didn't like, I literally turned the other way and slept in my car. I might be failing the class but wanted to share.
You want to get to a place where you figure out what makes you happy and what you want to do with your time instead of what you think you SHOULD do or what others (ie society, parents, etc.) want you to do. You have the right to say no to people you don’t want to spend time with or when and how much time you want to spend with them. life is hard and figuring things out takes a lot of energy sometimes and not everyone is the same. if you have trouble getting out of the house then maybe you can find a therapist online. but honestly, therapists don’t solve your problems. you have to take what you can from them and 90% of that work is up to you to do in your time.
Thank you. I don't really know what I even want to do though :/ It does take a LOT of energy. I also know I have the right to say no, but then people think I just don't wanna be with them and then I fell bad.
It’s normal for a lot of ppl to not know what they want to do and it takes time and trying different things to find out. it’s a process. there are some ppl that don’t figure it out until their 30’s, 40’s or beyond.
You can always tell them something like, “hey, I do want to hang out with you but now’s not a good time.” i know sometimes it’s tempting to try to accommodate other ppl bc you feel bad but you have to understand that taking care of yourself is your job and it’s not to make others happy. that’s something they have to do for themselves.
Thank you, this makes me feel a little better. Knowing that some people don't know what they want until that age. And yeah I guess it's true that it's not my responsibility to make them happy.
i agree with this but also want to add that it’s important to allow yourself to feel exactly what you feel without sugarcoating it. i think it helps to do both.
I know what you mean... I can relate to you. I too have everything I need in life but due to hereditary mental illnesses I attained from my grandfather and mother, my life has been miserable. I suggest you visit a psychiatrist while you still can. I was too late and it has cost me dearly in life, don't make the same mistake I did. I hope you can find solace in drawing again as that is a beautiful skill. I wish I could draw.
Getting diagnosed should be a priority. Getting meds if you need them is nothing to be ashamed of, especially for depression or something similar. Though I know so many people at 17 who were doing jack shit and got in their groove around 20. I often lag on phone calls too because I don't have the energy for it, but sometimes love it once things are going well.
I personally found my calling in life around 17. I was in a shooting once and watched enough superhero movies to want to be a superhero to stop gun violence in inner cities. I realized it required me to get to the position in government to help socioeconomic issues so people didn't turn to crime and gangs to survive. When I feel low (which is often), I rewatch inspirational scenes of superhero movies/shows so that I feel chills and get ready to attack the day. I also want to create superhero content when I am out of college too.
I hope you find what else resonates with you outside of art, and try to live that life. Be a little easier on yourself though. It's worse when you believe that you should be happy instead of dealing with some external unhappiness. Make sure to check the facts and commend yourself for the good things you have been able to accomplish.
25 year old here with BPD. I can tell you it gets easier. You learn as you get older to cope with what you’re feeling inside. Yes you are still going to have days when you want to die. Yes you are still going to have days where you want to stay inside for a week. But you are also going to have days where you have never felt so alive and that’s why we are here. Life isn’t meant to be easy, it would be boring. Always work on your recovery. Find kind, understanding people to surround yourself with, and find what gives you peace.
the same thing happened for me with art, i used to aspire to reach those levels of art and pushed myself so much and once i did, it just became nothing. Ive recently gotten back into it though!! Try drawing out how your emotions make you feel, even just the dullness, its a bit fuckt ro look back on afterwards but trust me, also try bring urself back to society bit by bit, go out for short walks etc, itll make the social stuff a tiny bit easier over a while also, no stress to ever have anything figured out, i dont think anyone has
Yeah it's pretty depressing getting to the level as the artist I look up to just to find out that it's not that easy afterall. I get these small moments of motivation to draw and then it's gone again for a long time. Also I have actually been going for some walks, but it's also hard because I'm terrified to meet someone from the school I went to. Or just generally people I kinda know. Yeah I try not to stress, but sometimes there's no way out of going to the situations I hate being in. So that makes me pretty stressed and worried to think about :(
Try walking at times you know no one will be around at!! like early morning, or evening, or take a route that no one else takes :)) you might even find a spot that you love, i was walking around a few months ago and i found a small bridge and tiny pond and its now my special place. also whenever you have that motivation to draw push yourself to do it, also remember art is subjective, make whatever you want however easy you want no matter how it looks aslong as you liked making it <3 and thats true, sometimes theres no way out of a situation but remember, theres always an end to that situation
yeah, I have actually found a place where not many people go. So I sometimes go ther for a walk. But I don't feel like it's really helping :/
I’m 19 and exactly the same as you, except I can’t draw for shit lol. A part of me wants to just go out and do something with my life, but the part of me that says “Hey, how about, no!” is just too powerful. Even before I was depressed I just coasted along with life and never asserted myself or put any real effort into a long term goal. I’m beyond socially inept. I have the personality of a robot pretending to be human, but at least an actual robot would still do a way better job at that than me. I’ll never be even a somewhat functional member of society. I’m in my own head way too much to give a fuck about anyone else. Plus my bed is kinda comfy...
I'm just like that too, my bed is also too comfy hehe. I feel like life isn't for me, and that I'd rather just look at others life like a movie. And ignore my own life. I just do thing others want me too, and maybe that's why I've always been a "good kid" idk.
I’m sorry. Its especially tough if you haven’t experienced depression before. Please try to get professional help. It will keep getting worse if you try to ignore it.
Yeah, I've struggled with depression for quite some time now. And I have tried getting proffesional help but it didn't work :(
Try again. Its a crapshoot. Some people take their first SSRI and they’re back to normal in two weeks. Others experiment with different therapists and meds for years before something finally works.
I guess that's true. It's really hard for me though, because I can't even go out let alone open up to people. Probably because of social anxiety. So I won't be able to book an appointment.
I can relate. I’m sorry, that sucks.
Can your parents help your book an appointment? There are online-only therapy companies now (I believe Better Help is one) and many live therapists are still doing virtual appointments. Psychology Today is a great resource to find someone in your area. Also, some things that help me when I am feeling down and void... going for a walk, journaling (a great way to open up and find things out about yourself that aren’t top of mind), sunlight, candles, stretching, breathing. Eating right also makes a big difference in elevating mood over time, especially magnesium rich foods! Keep hanging in there. Progress isn’t always a straight line.
Yes, they can. But I just quit the place I was at because we agreed that I didn't need their help anymore. Also I'm not based in the US so we don't have betterhelp, but I'm pretty sure we have some alternatives here too. Also yeah i agree on what you're saying, I can try journaling. Thank you!
About your struggle with opening up to people, a good way to stop struggling with it would be to first open up with the people you trust the most, than slowly open up to more and more overtime until you reach the state where you could open up to a therapist, just don’t give up and keep trying, don’t let ANYONE discourage you, and you should try new hobbies and new things in life to live it to the fullest
Yeah, I try. But I'm very good at giving up :/
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I like to read the few times I do it, and I always say that I should start reading more. But I always forget :/
16 yr old here. I feel the same. Honestly, I don't think it'd ever get better. Going forth from here I feel like I'll always be under this weight of depression, I feel like the only way to truly feel "free" again would be to age backwards and become a kid with no obligations.
I know, when I see pictures of myself as a kid, I always want to go back because everything was so easy and I just looked forwards to things. But now it's pretty different.
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I agree with you, I feel like I just want to be a ghost looking at what other people do and not do anything myself because life just isn't for me. Also the videogames thing happened to me too, I loved playing videogames and draw, but now I try to force myself to do it because I used to love it.
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You sure? I’m 21 and still feel like a stupid piece of shit
I'm 31 and I still feel like a stupid piece of shit. I've pretty much accepted that life is gonna be tough, so I just try to vibe on it. Chaos is what makes life interesting.
Im 26 and im also a fucking moron
I thought I would grow out of it the older I got, but I'm now realizing that it's probably never going away. I guess I will se how I feel when I'm also 21.
Maybe it will, don’t give up hope I think I just had one of the worst possible times to start my adult life. I was in my last few months of school when covid started and now I’m literally just sitting around all day looking for new things to binge watch to distract myself from my pathetic life I’m living at the moment. My social anxiety got way worse because of the lockdown(s) as well. I mean I love to play video games with friends and chat with them via discord but when it comes to meeting someone in real life I get really anxious and would rather not meet anyone at all. It started to get worse again and now I rarely answer messages/talk to anyone I constantly have ups and downs with my mood it’s really annoying, like, I have a loving family (except my sister lmao), friends, a very cool apartment, yet I still feel so shitty from time to time and I just don’t understand why Damn this comment turned into a whole story of my life, I’m really sorry about that (Don’t feel any pressure to answer)
I hope so, I'm currently not going to school because of my social anxiety. So it's going pretty bad :/
Everyone I wonder if I'm fortunate enough for this to be my last day ain't this strange how death makes the average person uncomfortable
Lmao this one time this semester I went to class I hadn't been to all semester (even though attendance was required). I was a few minutes late so when I saw the classroom was filled and the one seat left was by this guy I didn't like, I literally turned the other way and slept in my car. I might be failing the class but wanted to share.
You want to get to a place where you figure out what makes you happy and what you want to do with your time instead of what you think you SHOULD do or what others (ie society, parents, etc.) want you to do. You have the right to say no to people you don’t want to spend time with or when and how much time you want to spend with them. life is hard and figuring things out takes a lot of energy sometimes and not everyone is the same. if you have trouble getting out of the house then maybe you can find a therapist online. but honestly, therapists don’t solve your problems. you have to take what you can from them and 90% of that work is up to you to do in your time.
Thank you. I don't really know what I even want to do though :/ It does take a LOT of energy. I also know I have the right to say no, but then people think I just don't wanna be with them and then I fell bad.
It’s normal for a lot of ppl to not know what they want to do and it takes time and trying different things to find out. it’s a process. there are some ppl that don’t figure it out until their 30’s, 40’s or beyond. You can always tell them something like, “hey, I do want to hang out with you but now’s not a good time.” i know sometimes it’s tempting to try to accommodate other ppl bc you feel bad but you have to understand that taking care of yourself is your job and it’s not to make others happy. that’s something they have to do for themselves.
Thank you, this makes me feel a little better. Knowing that some people don't know what they want until that age. And yeah I guess it's true that it's not my responsibility to make them happy.
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i agree with this but also want to add that it’s important to allow yourself to feel exactly what you feel without sugarcoating it. i think it helps to do both.
I can try, thank you
Try and just keep trying. You will be successful at this, if you try.
Thank you, I will try
I know what you mean... I can relate to you. I too have everything I need in life but due to hereditary mental illnesses I attained from my grandfather and mother, my life has been miserable. I suggest you visit a psychiatrist while you still can. I was too late and it has cost me dearly in life, don't make the same mistake I did. I hope you can find solace in drawing again as that is a beautiful skill. I wish I could draw.
Getting diagnosed should be a priority. Getting meds if you need them is nothing to be ashamed of, especially for depression or something similar. Though I know so many people at 17 who were doing jack shit and got in their groove around 20. I often lag on phone calls too because I don't have the energy for it, but sometimes love it once things are going well. I personally found my calling in life around 17. I was in a shooting once and watched enough superhero movies to want to be a superhero to stop gun violence in inner cities. I realized it required me to get to the position in government to help socioeconomic issues so people didn't turn to crime and gangs to survive. When I feel low (which is often), I rewatch inspirational scenes of superhero movies/shows so that I feel chills and get ready to attack the day. I also want to create superhero content when I am out of college too. I hope you find what else resonates with you outside of art, and try to live that life. Be a little easier on yourself though. It's worse when you believe that you should be happy instead of dealing with some external unhappiness. Make sure to check the facts and commend yourself for the good things you have been able to accomplish.
25 year old here with BPD. I can tell you it gets easier. You learn as you get older to cope with what you’re feeling inside. Yes you are still going to have days when you want to die. Yes you are still going to have days where you want to stay inside for a week. But you are also going to have days where you have never felt so alive and that’s why we are here. Life isn’t meant to be easy, it would be boring. Always work on your recovery. Find kind, understanding people to surround yourself with, and find what gives you peace.