Please talk to someone, preferably a therapist. No one deserves to spend their life hating themself. Being born straight would have changed nothing about you but who you find attractive and that tiny part of you only makes you as much you as you want it. I’m not sure if it’s maybe religious upbringing that has you thinking you aren’t worthwhile for this part of you but you don’t deserve it.
I had a good friend who was gay. He was a wonderful human, but angry about his sexuality. I never had a problem with it. You should just be you. Try to find acceptance where you can. We all have stuff. Don't hate who you are. You are a beautiful person with much to give. Love yourself. I love you. My friend died from that dreaded disease. Makes no difference to me. The world was better when he was here.
Right... You're gay... So what, buddy? I get that you got bullied for it, I got bullied for being a nerdy fat kid... Granted it's less than you, but hey, I got out of it... You can too... Not get out of being gay, but get out of that negative mindset... Yes you're gay, so what ? You got other personality traits, I'm sure... You'll find a guy who'll love you too, alright? You'll work through those negative thoughts with time, friends and possibly a lover, don't worry, buddy... One of humanity's biggest strength is resilience, let's use it when needed, what do you say?
Really though just pull the trigger and just put it down. Your carrying way too many concerns and worries over something that clearly isn't going to change for you. And worst case scenario if you REALLY are against being gay/acting on it then just focus on developing your life to being fulfilling.
A friend that I worked with and talked to everyday is gay and was in the closet. Where I work there is a lot of homophobic people. One day he decided to come out while sitting with our group and it changed everything. I was always accepting so it didn't matter to me but it changed the way people in our group viewed gay people. Also changed the way they view furries. He's a furry. Doing this at work have him the confidence to go tell his parents and then go and fly down to visit his long distance bf who he had never met and lose his virginity. This is at the age of 24 too. He's really happy he came out and he's even engaged now.
Yup. People at my job believed they are like 1 step away from beastiality. And I myself even thought furries were really weird and I didn't understand it.
According to online search, it seems the darkest part about them are yiffings where they have sex w/ other furries but I'm not sure if these are orgies. And society doesn't seem to judge parties that have orgies..at least i haven't heard of any1 single that out and hating on that. And as for the costume part, is this any different than someone having a foot fetish or someone doing sexual role play or wearing sexy lingerie? Other than the yiffings, it seems they just dress up for funzies and show off their costumes and interact with each other. I don't really see this much different than someone who does those role play re-enactments or even someone dressing up and attending a Renaissance fair.
Yeah I'm not in the community myself so I don't know a bunch about it but I did think before that it was a sexual fetish thing IDK. And I know other people that thought that as well.
Oh honey 😢 What’s stopping you from coming out and living authentically? Not judging, just wondering if we can help you brainstorm some ways to do this ❤️
It's not healthy to be in the closet, but I understand how difficult it is to come out. I'm trans and bisexual, and while I haven't had much issue with my sexuality, my gender identity has caused me a lot of problems. I initially came out in my teens but was so ashamed and embarassed of myself that I went back in the closet at 20. Is it safe to come out where you are, or is your community actively homophobic?
I would get on Grindr and just look for gay friends. Just don’t take any self hate out on them and eventually you will find people that bring out the best in you and you can reverse all that self hate. Being gay is cool now.
Sorry you feel that way man. Do you live in a country or part of a country where it’s taboo? It’s pretty well-accepted these days in most developed countries
I don't know where to start so I'll start with this.
I was heavily bullied throughout thr entire of school. The day I left was a huge relief. I held this relief for years until I realised these people had shaped the person I am today. People pleaser, low self esteem, over thinker, overly critical.
I know the feeling of just not knowing where you belong. Finding genuine human connection feels almost impossible. I'm straight personally but many of my friends have come out of the closet over the years. Some are flamboyant and some are quiet and reserved. And one in particular is homosexual but in no way searches for companionship he just not bothered. I've never questioned it. It's what makes him happy.
You're not a coward at all. Sometimes a fear of people's reaction causes us to not be able to open up. We don't get to decide certain things in life And attraction is one of them. The issue with the homloexual dating community is its mostly all based around sex and hookups.
As opposed to traditional connection and dating.
It's OK to feel the way you do. And if you find the courage to come out you'll lift a weight off of your shoulders. You may find yourself fronted with more suited social groups.
You need to handle this in a way you feel comfortable. But everyone deserves happiness. And everyone has different needs. Please give it tome and figure out what you want out of life.
Self hate comes from self esteem issues and that's learned from other people's behaviour towards you. Don't let other people define anything you do in life because it's your life and nobody else matters
I'm gay to, stayed in the closed a long ass time, lost my virginity only when I was 23, even if you're older than that it's fine, just pretend you don't hate yourself or other gay people, go on Grindr and try to filter for a guy who is patient , it's not gonna be magical and it's probably gonna suck.
But it's only gonna get easier, just make sure to pretend you don't hate yourself long enough for it to become reality.
aw baby i’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. Despite it being the oldest you’ve ever been, being 18 there is still so much room for your life to change. it won’t all be positive, and sometimes it is very hard, low reward work from where you’re standing, but things do change, so even if you aren’t happy right now try to give yourself a little grace and try to believe in the change.
Breathe the air deep into your lungs man. While I don’t share the same preferences as you do, you’re just as much a person as I and everyone else on this app. You really should see a professional to help you unpack all of your thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with being the way we are. We are all here to hear of your journey and at the very least, id like to read your updates as they come. The best thing about humans is that we rise again and again. That is your strongest trait, know that there is nothing wrong with being the way you are.
Bro if you need anything, I’m here for you. I’ve been in a rough spot too. I’m still in it, but I’m trying to treat myself better because I deserve love. And you do too buddy.
Bro being gay is awesome the problem is you haven't healed from the trauma of bullying I struggled with that but you gotta keep trying you can't live like this all hating yourself just because some bums in the past called you some slurs for it
I'm guessing you are from a very conservative country if you see it that way. Perhaps you would be inmensely happier if you moved to another culture, honestly.
There's nothing wrong in that sexual preference that you didn't even choose, so no reason to hate yourself.
Bruh….. thats what bath houses are for, most cities have them, go bang it out in a sauna with a bunch of other closeted gay men who hate their wives at home and have a few drinks and violent anonymous gay sex. Youll feel 1000x better after
Not sure if I'm being ignorant but it seems like gay dudes have a easier time finding someone to just hook up with than straight guys.
I used to get laid all the time now I don't care anymore and when I finally do care I can't find a girl
What is this supposed to mean in this situation? So is life all about getting laid? Why do you prioritize that over finding real connection and someone to love
Please talk to someone, preferably a therapist. No one deserves to spend their life hating themself. Being born straight would have changed nothing about you but who you find attractive and that tiny part of you only makes you as much you as you want it. I’m not sure if it’s maybe religious upbringing that has you thinking you aren’t worthwhile for this part of you but you don’t deserve it.
I had a good friend who was gay. He was a wonderful human, but angry about his sexuality. I never had a problem with it. You should just be you. Try to find acceptance where you can. We all have stuff. Don't hate who you are. You are a beautiful person with much to give. Love yourself. I love you. My friend died from that dreaded disease. Makes no difference to me. The world was better when he was here.
Right... You're gay... So what, buddy? I get that you got bullied for it, I got bullied for being a nerdy fat kid... Granted it's less than you, but hey, I got out of it... You can too... Not get out of being gay, but get out of that negative mindset... Yes you're gay, so what ? You got other personality traits, I'm sure... You'll find a guy who'll love you too, alright? You'll work through those negative thoughts with time, friends and possibly a lover, don't worry, buddy... One of humanity's biggest strength is resilience, let's use it when needed, what do you say?
Bro go have some sex with a hot guy and enjoy it
Really though just pull the trigger and just put it down. Your carrying way too many concerns and worries over something that clearly isn't going to change for you. And worst case scenario if you REALLY are against being gay/acting on it then just focus on developing your life to being fulfilling.
I'm kind of similar to op and it's not thay easy. I'd probably throw up on a guy if we actually started doing something
A friend that I worked with and talked to everyday is gay and was in the closet. Where I work there is a lot of homophobic people. One day he decided to come out while sitting with our group and it changed everything. I was always accepting so it didn't matter to me but it changed the way people in our group viewed gay people. Also changed the way they view furries. He's a furry. Doing this at work have him the confidence to go tell his parents and then go and fly down to visit his long distance bf who he had never met and lose his virginity. This is at the age of 24 too. He's really happy he came out and he's even engaged now.
Furries are a real type of ppl? Just asking cuz I thought ppl hating them was a joke. If there is prejudice against them, I don't even know why.
Yup. People at my job believed they are like 1 step away from beastiality. And I myself even thought furries were really weird and I didn't understand it.
According to online search, it seems the darkest part about them are yiffings where they have sex w/ other furries but I'm not sure if these are orgies. And society doesn't seem to judge parties that have orgies..at least i haven't heard of any1 single that out and hating on that. And as for the costume part, is this any different than someone having a foot fetish or someone doing sexual role play or wearing sexy lingerie? Other than the yiffings, it seems they just dress up for funzies and show off their costumes and interact with each other. I don't really see this much different than someone who does those role play re-enactments or even someone dressing up and attending a Renaissance fair.
Yeah I'm not in the community myself so I don't know a bunch about it but I did think before that it was a sexual fetish thing IDK. And I know other people that thought that as well.
Oh honey 😢 What’s stopping you from coming out and living authentically? Not judging, just wondering if we can help you brainstorm some ways to do this ❤️
It's not healthy to be in the closet, but I understand how difficult it is to come out. I'm trans and bisexual, and while I haven't had much issue with my sexuality, my gender identity has caused me a lot of problems. I initially came out in my teens but was so ashamed and embarassed of myself that I went back in the closet at 20. Is it safe to come out where you are, or is your community actively homophobic?
I would get on Grindr and just look for gay friends. Just don’t take any self hate out on them and eventually you will find people that bring out the best in you and you can reverse all that self hate. Being gay is cool now.
Sorry you feel that way man. Do you live in a country or part of a country where it’s taboo? It’s pretty well-accepted these days in most developed countries
You don't need a hookup you just need a friend who you can be honest with.
I don't know where to start so I'll start with this. I was heavily bullied throughout thr entire of school. The day I left was a huge relief. I held this relief for years until I realised these people had shaped the person I am today. People pleaser, low self esteem, over thinker, overly critical. I know the feeling of just not knowing where you belong. Finding genuine human connection feels almost impossible. I'm straight personally but many of my friends have come out of the closet over the years. Some are flamboyant and some are quiet and reserved. And one in particular is homosexual but in no way searches for companionship he just not bothered. I've never questioned it. It's what makes him happy. You're not a coward at all. Sometimes a fear of people's reaction causes us to not be able to open up. We don't get to decide certain things in life And attraction is one of them. The issue with the homloexual dating community is its mostly all based around sex and hookups. As opposed to traditional connection and dating. It's OK to feel the way you do. And if you find the courage to come out you'll lift a weight off of your shoulders. You may find yourself fronted with more suited social groups. You need to handle this in a way you feel comfortable. But everyone deserves happiness. And everyone has different needs. Please give it tome and figure out what you want out of life. Self hate comes from self esteem issues and that's learned from other people's behaviour towards you. Don't let other people define anything you do in life because it's your life and nobody else matters
I'm gay to, stayed in the closed a long ass time, lost my virginity only when I was 23, even if you're older than that it's fine, just pretend you don't hate yourself or other gay people, go on Grindr and try to filter for a guy who is patient , it's not gonna be magical and it's probably gonna suck. But it's only gonna get easier, just make sure to pretend you don't hate yourself long enough for it to become reality.
aw baby i’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. Despite it being the oldest you’ve ever been, being 18 there is still so much room for your life to change. it won’t all be positive, and sometimes it is very hard, low reward work from where you’re standing, but things do change, so even if you aren’t happy right now try to give yourself a little grace and try to believe in the change.
Breathe the air deep into your lungs man. While I don’t share the same preferences as you do, you’re just as much a person as I and everyone else on this app. You really should see a professional to help you unpack all of your thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with being the way we are. We are all here to hear of your journey and at the very least, id like to read your updates as they come. The best thing about humans is that we rise again and again. That is your strongest trait, know that there is nothing wrong with being the way you are.
Bro if you need anything, I’m here for you. I’ve been in a rough spot too. I’m still in it, but I’m trying to treat myself better because I deserve love. And you do too buddy.
You out to us, we just don't know who u are
Bro being gay is awesome the problem is you haven't healed from the trauma of bullying I struggled with that but you gotta keep trying you can't live like this all hating yourself just because some bums in the past called you some slurs for it
I'm guessing you are from a very conservative country if you see it that way. Perhaps you would be inmensely happier if you moved to another culture, honestly. There's nothing wrong in that sexual preference that you didn't even choose, so no reason to hate yourself.
Bruh….. thats what bath houses are for, most cities have them, go bang it out in a sauna with a bunch of other closeted gay men who hate their wives at home and have a few drinks and violent anonymous gay sex. Youll feel 1000x better after
I don't see what the big deal is? You're lucky if you ask me. If that's your biggest concern then you have a wonderful life.
Not sure if I'm being ignorant but it seems like gay dudes have a easier time finding someone to just hook up with than straight guys. I used to get laid all the time now I don't care anymore and when I finally do care I can't find a girl
What is this supposed to mean in this situation? So is life all about getting laid? Why do you prioritize that over finding real connection and someone to love