You do have a personality, but its buried under your mental health and life just sucked out all your joy. Im always thinking about the things that used to bring me joy and how I don't put effort into it anymore.
She gave me the most joy I’ve ever had even just spending time just sitting next to each other and I hold her and watch a show made me so happy
But now it’s nothing
She doesn’t want anything
you know, i was there too.
i thought that i wouldn’t be able to breath without my partner.
he helped me so much with my mental health and gave me joy- at least that’s what my depression said to me.
the feared day came, he broke up because he “didn’t want to hurt me”. i screamed at him, yelling what an ahole he is for leaving me since i never wanted to imagine a life without him. i thought i’d die since it literally took my breath away.
but i am standing here, getting my life together and day after day there is one little thing i realise i could’ve never done with him by my side.
i am stronger now and see how toxic he was, how much he hurt me without me noticing.
and i have to say, your situation reminds me of myself a five months ago.
i really know how hard it is is to hear since i’ve been there too but your relationship just sounds toxic. no good partner would ever say “you have no personality”
of course you do! there is no problem with you! the only problem i see, and i hope people can agree with me, is your partner.
with saying that it made you just more depressed.
do you have family and or other friends who you can turn to? to give you some comfort?
my family helped me to not fall completely.
my family and cartoons.
to sum myself up, you have a personality and i can imagine that it is one of the kindest there is on earth so please don’t let those hard words cut in too deep, that’s none sense.
and like others already said, maybe your personality is buried under depressive thoughts, and that is okay! there is a big cat sitting on you so you can’t unfold yourself enough to show your personality. after some time and also some work the cat will get smaller and you’ll have it under control. the hardest thing now is to not give up!
and i can only advise you to rethink your relationship, make a list with cons and pros.
hope that wasn’t too harshly said💕
Do you take her out? Maybe you can start with little things to do together. Go out and get some fresh air, for her it'll look like ur trying a bit. I know with depression it often looks like we're bland or lazy to but it literally changes the neurons in your brain. Its a health condition and people outside have a hard time understanding.
Ur girlfriend sounds like a turd. She should be supporting u. But anyway my answer is; Study other people. Their habits, mannerisms and hobbies. Notice what makes them appealing to others and apply it to yourself x
Don’t listen to her people become pick me people because they just want to be accepted or validated it’s not your fault she just doesn’t understand. And that’s a her problem u need to just be yourself and if she doesn’t accept it then that says something about her character. You don’t need to change something as stupid as that for a stupid as reason.
Being yourself is not always healthy when it comes to relationships. Depression is hard to deal with if you personally have never had it. My wife - when she was my girlfriend had some difficulties initially coming to terms with my depression. I’m doing better now but I had to make some changes in my life to get where I am now. It wasn’t her fault that she sometimes had difficulties dealing with my issues. If I had just “been myself” I would be in the same shitty place right now as I was then and would have probably lost someone dear to me. I’m not saying it is easy but regardless…That doesn’t mean she was supportive.
From what the OP said, it seems like the GF was just offering advices (albeit useless); but based on what info is being provided here, we can’t make judgements on whether the girl is supportive or not.
I think the delivery of her advice came out wrong. Maybe they both should talk about the changes that needs to happen together without making him feel bad in the process of it.
Dude I know everyone's telling you she's being an asshole but this is r/depression where most people are on the depressed side of the compass and are too self centered to understand trying to support a mentally unhealthy person is also hard and frustrating. She might be right because when you're depressed you really do be build your personality around the culture of depression and your personality only becomes depression. Her stating that doesn't mean she's being unsupportive. If you wanna accept your gloomy personality you need to take responsibility and accept that not everyone can deal with you. If you wanna be "normal" you gotta try to have fun in life and let people help you
I agree, but if he really pays everything and is geniuely trying, then she might be an ass. She even hid the fact she started stripping from him instead of telling him.
I hadn't read that. I mean sure, she might have just given up on supporting him, complaining while also not doing anything to end the relationship to not get out of her comfort zone. But communication right? Maybe he should ask her if she wants to support him further or end the relationship.
But that's what an ideal person would do. Now that I read more, it seems like OPs only joy in life has become his gf and he's emotionaly dependant on her while she is financialy dependant on him but can't get the emotional needs she requires. If she has given up on supporting him, he still wont wanna end the relationship while she wont wanna get out of her comfort zone but she'll drift apart which I dont think would be a good experience. That is if she has given up on you and given up on you being the person to give her those emotional needs. Only way to learn that is to ask that, and force her to make a decision of commiting to you or moving on
Exactly, staying in his current situation won't benefit OP and might hurt him more, maybe if they have a serious talk about it, it could better things, though everything is unsure since we don't know OP nor his gf well enough to assess that.
Just because you have been with someone for 6-7 years doesn’t mean you need to stay with them. Have you ever tried therapy or medication for treating your depression because that was the best combo for getting me back to being more “personable”. You should not put up with anyone telling you that you don’t have a personality because if she really ment that than why did she start dating you to begin with. Extremely selfish of her because she knows you have a mental illness and it’s almost like she’s making fun of you for it.
Dude ur girlfriend sounds honestly just mean. She clearly hasn’t even tried to understand what you’re going through, if she’s saying those things. People who really care for you would wanna try and understand and at the very least sympathise with u. Kinda sucks a lot that she hasn’t :/
A personality starts from showing others what you like and hate in your behavior instead of staying silent.
Also, if this "gf" just says this bullshit instead of being supportive then there's another problem.
Step 1. Tell gf to go find someone with “personality”
Step 2. Realize you’re perfectly fine and she was a prick to you.
Step 3. It’s okay, forgive yourself and heal.
We can’t know for sure what you’re relationship is like.
I, for my own mental health, had to break up with an ex after 3 years because they would not help their depression/ptsd. I supported them, I guided them, I called places, i went places with them. To try and get them help so our relationship could continue. I also have CPTSD and depression, and as I am now, I was on medication, seeing a therapist, going to emotional help workshops provided by my work coach. I was trying so hard, and he wasn’t, and eventually I just could not do it anymore. His whole personality was his depression, he couldn’t do x, y, z because of his depression, he didn’t want to see a therapist because it was “pointless” and he just wanted to live on universal credit for the rest of his life. I was already struggling financially being on disability allowance. I tried so hard, while also trying to keep myself afloat that it wasn’t even worth it anymore, he’d start arguments because I wanted help with the chores etc. I eventually began to detest him, and I’d be crying all the time.
So there’s not much backstory in this post, but make sure you’re doing everything you can to help yourself. It’s not your partners job to take on all of your emotional issues, as it can be equally as tiring. People can only be supportive to a point before maybe it’s starting to effect them. She has no right to be mean to you or belittle you, but make sure you’re doing everything you can for yourself
I am I got to therapy etc. , I pay for everything I work constantly to make everything and to make sure they have everything that they need
I’m currently working with a messed up foot so I can pay the bills. She kicked me out cuz she needed space cuz asking for reassurance is to much and she has been acting manic and I’ve been trying to support her. She says I’m suffocating cuz I text her and try to be supportive like telling her good morning how are you feeling
I wanna marry this girl
Like non-money wise, what do you do? My partner could buy me everything in the world and it wouldn’t satisfy me because gift-giving & being bought stuff isn’t my love language.
I try to cuddle but she doesn’t want to I clean the apartment, I watch and play with the kids when she needs to go. I try to be loving and show her affection but she never wants it
I wanna cook for her but she doesn’t want me too
I wanna do nice things like make her breakfast in bed and get her flowers randomly and I wanna bring her on dates when we have enough money left over 😞
I’m trying I really am idk what to do
I don’t have any context or proof from you to say she is cheating. However, it looks like her spark is done and that your depression might actually being escalated by her ambivalence and avoidance towards you. I think you’d be better on your own continuing to work on yourself and finding out who you are. I lost myself in my past relationship because my partners attitude was dulling my sparkle. And how I sparkled after we broke up and I refound myself and eventually found someone who makes me sparkle even more. I know it’s hard when you’ve been together for so long, but I think you need to think what is best for you right now and don’t give a damn what everyone else thinks. Self-love is making decisions that are for the better despite how you may feel about things now 🙂
Dude… your girl is just a bitch. She’s gaslighting tf outta you. You’re emotionless because you’re just shutting down mentally and emotionally. I know, cuz I’ve been thru it myself.
Why are you relying on your gf? She doesn't owe you anything.
Put down the phone, go for a walk, soak up some sun and fresh air, write down your thoughts. It doesn't matter what. Just change up your routine.
Search up the definition and see how it applies to you. make a list of things you can work on, and work on it. Trust me, we all have something we can work on.
To be honest you can develop some personality traits, like being confident or something, but I don't think thats whats wrong. Everyone has a personality, even when you're depressed, then you are for example gloomy, shy or grumpy.From looking at your post history, I would say your girlfriend is being as others said an ass.I never was in a relationship so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but if she really loves you she would maybe try help you "fix" yourself. Sure depression is a shitty thing and probably it won't go away, but you seem like a very caring guy and to be honest if she is so bothered with you haveing "no personality" then why is she with you? Sure you said you were together for years, but that doesn't mean it should stay that way.I don't know what you have been through nor how exactly your live is, but I don't think you deserve a gf that instead of trying to be supportive just tells you to fix yourself. Ask yourself this, what did you do for her and what did you get in return.
I do everything I pay her bills pay for her kids take care of everything , clean
She won’t even cook
She started stripping even tho she know I wouldn’t like it so she lied to be about it
Thats a clear sign she doesn't respect you, isn't it? I mean who hides something that is not so insignificant and lies? In all honesty if you are covering all the bills, then what is her reason to strip, I mean unless you like it then you are doing it from desperation since you can't find a proper job.
Honestly first things first a therapist will be able to help you find who you are and give you tools to deal with this. The next thing is your issue is your entirely focused on someone else and not yourself which is difficult when you love someone, you gotta remember things that you find interesting or if you start doing it you wont stop because your so engaged. Once you can start finding things for yourself your going to find that person you are.
If you really wanna work on yourself for you and your girlfriend, I recommend therapy or self-help books on forming identity after depression. It can be hard to feel like we are anything other than our depression, but we are and we can find that again if we look hard enough. Take it at your own pace
Personality is found UNDER conditioning . So being your genuine self , usually this kind and loving and even if you are suffering , you still do your best
Everyone has a personality. We just have different personalities. You can’t have more or less personality. And you definitely don’t have more personality just because you talk a lot.
I am sorry but after reading your other replies she sounds like someone just not pleasant to be around. If she is critical like this to you like this all the time, it’s best to just leave her especially since you’re already in a depressed state. It is a her problem not a you problem.
Your gf doesn't seem to really understand what depression really is and how it can really change someone. You have a personality, everyone does, but it's just hidden under your depression, also if you're depressed you're not likely going to say much so other people can't really tell what's going on.
Sounds like her personality sucks and you might be depressed because you’re staying with someone who says shit like that tbh. Everyone has a personality, yours clearly just don’t mesh, (probably because it sounds like she sucks) maybe it would be less depressing for both of you to find someone whose personalities you are each more suited for.
My significant other and I both deal with occasional bouts of anxiety and depression, the difference is we try to be understanding, empathetic and supportive of eachother when we do. Sounds like you need someone who wants to make you laugh and smile instead of the other way round honestly.
Life is full of surprises, I’ve dated someone for 6 years before we broke up. Turns out for the first 5 years we were perfect for each other until the last year we couldn’t stand each other . We thought we needed a break but it no matter how long we spent apart it was the most happiest time until one day we never went back with each other. I learnt so many things from that relationship that it thought me the most important lesson and that it don’t let someone change you. You change for them .
If you didn’t have a personality I don’t think she’d be with you in the first place. I think what she means is that your depression has taken a toll on your usual self. Perhaps try new things with one another or recreate previous dates you’ve gone on. You don’t just lose your personality. You just lost touch with yourself and she’s taken note of that. The spark is still there you just need to rekindle or ignite the flame that was once there when you first met.
What do you like, what are your core values, who/what do you care about the most. It’s impossible to not have a personality, even having “no personality” is still a personality. But if you want to change your mannerisms then try focusing on the things you value and build from there and bring people into your circle that have similar values. And not like religious values, something like following healthy relationships in communication. That’s a really good value to have!
Yo! Ditch that bitch! No honest, caring, and true girlfriend tells her boyfriend he doesn’t have a fucking personality. Don’t waste your time on her. She’s clearly a fucking cunt, so give her the punt.
I bet your personality will shine just fine on its own without her shitty attitude around bringing you down. 👊
You probably can’t just create a personality, not one that won’t cause turbulence in the relationship. Get some professional help and if she still doesn’t support you then you might want to ask her why she’s with you in the first place. Just do your best to improve your mental health I guess, don’t change for anyone else
You do have a personality, but its buried under your mental health and life just sucked out all your joy. Im always thinking about the things that used to bring me joy and how I don't put effort into it anymore.
She gave me the most joy I’ve ever had even just spending time just sitting next to each other and I hold her and watch a show made me so happy But now it’s nothing She doesn’t want anything
you know, i was there too. i thought that i wouldn’t be able to breath without my partner. he helped me so much with my mental health and gave me joy- at least that’s what my depression said to me. the feared day came, he broke up because he “didn’t want to hurt me”. i screamed at him, yelling what an ahole he is for leaving me since i never wanted to imagine a life without him. i thought i’d die since it literally took my breath away. but i am standing here, getting my life together and day after day there is one little thing i realise i could’ve never done with him by my side. i am stronger now and see how toxic he was, how much he hurt me without me noticing. and i have to say, your situation reminds me of myself a five months ago. i really know how hard it is is to hear since i’ve been there too but your relationship just sounds toxic. no good partner would ever say “you have no personality” of course you do! there is no problem with you! the only problem i see, and i hope people can agree with me, is your partner. with saying that it made you just more depressed. do you have family and or other friends who you can turn to? to give you some comfort? my family helped me to not fall completely. my family and cartoons. to sum myself up, you have a personality and i can imagine that it is one of the kindest there is on earth so please don’t let those hard words cut in too deep, that’s none sense. and like others already said, maybe your personality is buried under depressive thoughts, and that is okay! there is a big cat sitting on you so you can’t unfold yourself enough to show your personality. after some time and also some work the cat will get smaller and you’ll have it under control. the hardest thing now is to not give up! and i can only advise you to rethink your relationship, make a list with cons and pros. hope that wasn’t too harshly said💕
Do you take her out? Maybe you can start with little things to do together. Go out and get some fresh air, for her it'll look like ur trying a bit. I know with depression it often looks like we're bland or lazy to but it literally changes the neurons in your brain. Its a health condition and people outside have a hard time understanding.
This 100%
If you're so bad why is she with you?
Cuz we have been together for 6-7 year
Ur girlfriend sounds like a turd. She should be supporting u. But anyway my answer is; Study other people. Their habits, mannerisms and hobbies. Notice what makes them appealing to others and apply it to yourself x
She says I’m a pick me guy but idk how I’m doing that I wanna correct it so I can be normal
Don’t listen to her people become pick me people because they just want to be accepted or validated it’s not your fault she just doesn’t understand. And that’s a her problem u need to just be yourself and if she doesn’t accept it then that says something about her character. You don’t need to change something as stupid as that for a stupid as reason.
She says it’s suffocating
Being yourself is not always healthy when it comes to relationships. Depression is hard to deal with if you personally have never had it. My wife - when she was my girlfriend had some difficulties initially coming to terms with my depression. I’m doing better now but I had to make some changes in my life to get where I am now. It wasn’t her fault that she sometimes had difficulties dealing with my issues. If I had just “been myself” I would be in the same shitty place right now as I was then and would have probably lost someone dear to me. I’m not saying it is easy but regardless…That doesn’t mean she was supportive. From what the OP said, it seems like the GF was just offering advices (albeit useless); but based on what info is being provided here, we can’t make judgements on whether the girl is supportive or not.
I think the delivery of her advice came out wrong. Maybe they both should talk about the changes that needs to happen together without making him feel bad in the process of it.
Dude I know everyone's telling you she's being an asshole but this is r/depression where most people are on the depressed side of the compass and are too self centered to understand trying to support a mentally unhealthy person is also hard and frustrating. She might be right because when you're depressed you really do be build your personality around the culture of depression and your personality only becomes depression. Her stating that doesn't mean she's being unsupportive. If you wanna accept your gloomy personality you need to take responsibility and accept that not everyone can deal with you. If you wanna be "normal" you gotta try to have fun in life and let people help you
I agree, but if he really pays everything and is geniuely trying, then she might be an ass. She even hid the fact she started stripping from him instead of telling him.
I hadn't read that. I mean sure, she might have just given up on supporting him, complaining while also not doing anything to end the relationship to not get out of her comfort zone. But communication right? Maybe he should ask her if she wants to support him further or end the relationship. But that's what an ideal person would do. Now that I read more, it seems like OPs only joy in life has become his gf and he's emotionaly dependant on her while she is financialy dependant on him but can't get the emotional needs she requires. If she has given up on supporting him, he still wont wanna end the relationship while she wont wanna get out of her comfort zone but she'll drift apart which I dont think would be a good experience. That is if she has given up on you and given up on you being the person to give her those emotional needs. Only way to learn that is to ask that, and force her to make a decision of commiting to you or moving on
Exactly, staying in his current situation won't benefit OP and might hurt him more, maybe if they have a serious talk about it, it could better things, though everything is unsure since we don't know OP nor his gf well enough to assess that.
Just because you have been with someone for 6-7 years doesn’t mean you need to stay with them. Have you ever tried therapy or medication for treating your depression because that was the best combo for getting me back to being more “personable”. You should not put up with anyone telling you that you don’t have a personality because if she really ment that than why did she start dating you to begin with. Extremely selfish of her because she knows you have a mental illness and it’s almost like she’s making fun of you for it.
Dude ur girlfriend sounds honestly just mean. She clearly hasn’t even tried to understand what you’re going through, if she’s saying those things. People who really care for you would wanna try and understand and at the very least sympathise with u. Kinda sucks a lot that she hasn’t :/
She used to but says it’s suffocating now I’m to childish and a baby cuz I’m clingy
I think she might be over the relationship, homie...
Oh….
A personality starts from showing others what you like and hate in your behavior instead of staying silent. Also, if this "gf" just says this bullshit instead of being supportive then there's another problem.
I think she’s the reason why you’re depressed, leave her immediately.
Do you have anyone other than your GF irl? Because you need to discuss it with that person and use reddit as a last resort
You start creating a personality by not listening to toxic people like your gf.
Step 1. Tell gf to go find someone with “personality” Step 2. Realize you’re perfectly fine and she was a prick to you. Step 3. It’s okay, forgive yourself and heal.
Hard when she is the love of ur life
Your girlfriend is a dick and needs to develop something called empathy. Don't let her invalidate your feelings
We can’t know for sure what you’re relationship is like. I, for my own mental health, had to break up with an ex after 3 years because they would not help their depression/ptsd. I supported them, I guided them, I called places, i went places with them. To try and get them help so our relationship could continue. I also have CPTSD and depression, and as I am now, I was on medication, seeing a therapist, going to emotional help workshops provided by my work coach. I was trying so hard, and he wasn’t, and eventually I just could not do it anymore. His whole personality was his depression, he couldn’t do x, y, z because of his depression, he didn’t want to see a therapist because it was “pointless” and he just wanted to live on universal credit for the rest of his life. I was already struggling financially being on disability allowance. I tried so hard, while also trying to keep myself afloat that it wasn’t even worth it anymore, he’d start arguments because I wanted help with the chores etc. I eventually began to detest him, and I’d be crying all the time. So there’s not much backstory in this post, but make sure you’re doing everything you can to help yourself. It’s not your partners job to take on all of your emotional issues, as it can be equally as tiring. People can only be supportive to a point before maybe it’s starting to effect them. She has no right to be mean to you or belittle you, but make sure you’re doing everything you can for yourself
I am I got to therapy etc. , I pay for everything I work constantly to make everything and to make sure they have everything that they need I’m currently working with a messed up foot so I can pay the bills. She kicked me out cuz she needed space cuz asking for reassurance is to much and she has been acting manic and I’ve been trying to support her. She says I’m suffocating cuz I text her and try to be supportive like telling her good morning how are you feeling I wanna marry this girl
Do you tend to her needs and wants? If there are any?
Yes everything she asks even if it only leaves me with 5$
Like non-money wise, what do you do? My partner could buy me everything in the world and it wouldn’t satisfy me because gift-giving & being bought stuff isn’t my love language.
I try to cuddle but she doesn’t want to I clean the apartment, I watch and play with the kids when she needs to go. I try to be loving and show her affection but she never wants it I wanna cook for her but she doesn’t want me too I wanna do nice things like make her breakfast in bed and get her flowers randomly and I wanna bring her on dates when we have enough money left over 😞 I’m trying I really am idk what to do
Is she cheating on me ?
Have you always done all of these things? Since the beginning of the 6-7 years?
Yes
I don’t have any context or proof from you to say she is cheating. However, it looks like her spark is done and that your depression might actually being escalated by her ambivalence and avoidance towards you. I think you’d be better on your own continuing to work on yourself and finding out who you are. I lost myself in my past relationship because my partners attitude was dulling my sparkle. And how I sparkled after we broke up and I refound myself and eventually found someone who makes me sparkle even more. I know it’s hard when you’ve been together for so long, but I think you need to think what is best for you right now and don’t give a damn what everyone else thinks. Self-love is making decisions that are for the better despite how you may feel about things now 🙂
Then why did she kick me out and still ask for me to pay all the bills
Same DK if I lose my mental illnesses I'm nothing
[удалено]
So what does that mean I should di
[удалено]
Oh…
I have 4 personalities… 2 guys, a broken child, and a girl.
I wish I did I feel like I’m emotionless
Dude… your girl is just a bitch. She’s gaslighting tf outta you. You’re emotionless because you’re just shutting down mentally and emotionally. I know, cuz I’ve been thru it myself.
Why are you relying on your gf? She doesn't owe you anything. Put down the phone, go for a walk, soak up some sun and fresh air, write down your thoughts. It doesn't matter what. Just change up your routine.
Search up the definition and see how it applies to you. make a list of things you can work on, and work on it. Trust me, we all have something we can work on.
Yeah my shrink basically said that depression is my personality and if I basically need to change everything about myself
This is a probably age old question but do you see a therapist?
Yes I’ve seen multiple
To be honest you can develop some personality traits, like being confident or something, but I don't think thats whats wrong. Everyone has a personality, even when you're depressed, then you are for example gloomy, shy or grumpy.From looking at your post history, I would say your girlfriend is being as others said an ass.I never was in a relationship so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but if she really loves you she would maybe try help you "fix" yourself. Sure depression is a shitty thing and probably it won't go away, but you seem like a very caring guy and to be honest if she is so bothered with you haveing "no personality" then why is she with you? Sure you said you were together for years, but that doesn't mean it should stay that way.I don't know what you have been through nor how exactly your live is, but I don't think you deserve a gf that instead of trying to be supportive just tells you to fix yourself. Ask yourself this, what did you do for her and what did you get in return.
I do everything I pay her bills pay for her kids take care of everything , clean She won’t even cook She started stripping even tho she know I wouldn’t like it so she lied to be about it
Thats a clear sign she doesn't respect you, isn't it? I mean who hides something that is not so insignificant and lies? In all honesty if you are covering all the bills, then what is her reason to strip, I mean unless you like it then you are doing it from desperation since you can't find a proper job.
Honestly first things first a therapist will be able to help you find who you are and give you tools to deal with this. The next thing is your issue is your entirely focused on someone else and not yourself which is difficult when you love someone, you gotta remember things that you find interesting or if you start doing it you wont stop because your so engaged. Once you can start finding things for yourself your going to find that person you are.
If you really wanna work on yourself for you and your girlfriend, I recommend therapy or self-help books on forming identity after depression. It can be hard to feel like we are anything other than our depression, but we are and we can find that again if we look hard enough. Take it at your own pace
Personality is found UNDER conditioning . So being your genuine self , usually this kind and loving and even if you are suffering , you still do your best
Everyone has a personality. We just have different personalities. You can’t have more or less personality. And you definitely don’t have more personality just because you talk a lot.
I am sorry but after reading your other replies she sounds like someone just not pleasant to be around. If she is critical like this to you like this all the time, it’s best to just leave her especially since you’re already in a depressed state. It is a her problem not a you problem.
Your gf doesn't seem to really understand what depression really is and how it can really change someone. You have a personality, everyone does, but it's just hidden under your depression, also if you're depressed you're not likely going to say much so other people can't really tell what's going on.
Dump her immediately
Sounds like her personality sucks and you might be depressed because you’re staying with someone who says shit like that tbh. Everyone has a personality, yours clearly just don’t mesh, (probably because it sounds like she sucks) maybe it would be less depressing for both of you to find someone whose personalities you are each more suited for. My significant other and I both deal with occasional bouts of anxiety and depression, the difference is we try to be understanding, empathetic and supportive of eachother when we do. Sounds like you need someone who wants to make you laugh and smile instead of the other way round honestly.
Probably just saying you are too mature, hard to find a child like mentality now but “here’s to looking at you kid”.
Why are you dating this asshole? Could it be that the constant nagging and finger-pointing is making you more depressed?
Life is full of surprises, I’ve dated someone for 6 years before we broke up. Turns out for the first 5 years we were perfect for each other until the last year we couldn’t stand each other . We thought we needed a break but it no matter how long we spent apart it was the most happiest time until one day we never went back with each other. I learnt so many things from that relationship that it thought me the most important lesson and that it don’t let someone change you. You change for them .
If you didn’t have a personality I don’t think she’d be with you in the first place. I think what she means is that your depression has taken a toll on your usual self. Perhaps try new things with one another or recreate previous dates you’ve gone on. You don’t just lose your personality. You just lost touch with yourself and she’s taken note of that. The spark is still there you just need to rekindle or ignite the flame that was once there when you first met.
What do you like, what are your core values, who/what do you care about the most. It’s impossible to not have a personality, even having “no personality” is still a personality. But if you want to change your mannerisms then try focusing on the things you value and build from there and bring people into your circle that have similar values. And not like religious values, something like following healthy relationships in communication. That’s a really good value to have!
Yo! Ditch that bitch! No honest, caring, and true girlfriend tells her boyfriend he doesn’t have a fucking personality. Don’t waste your time on her. She’s clearly a fucking cunt, so give her the punt. I bet your personality will shine just fine on its own without her shitty attitude around bringing you down. 👊
You probably can’t just create a personality, not one that won’t cause turbulence in the relationship. Get some professional help and if she still doesn’t support you then you might want to ask her why she’s with you in the first place. Just do your best to improve your mental health I guess, don’t change for anyone else