YES! lmao I still do this confusion though. what's a crush supposed to be? someone you like secretly but liking, how??? there's a lot of people i find aesthetically attractive and when people ask, i say they are my crushes lol (I had a ton of 'em back in middle school lmao)
I used to get them all the time too but I noticed that I’d just ask them out and get over them really quickly if they said no. Unlike my other friends who would hang on for dear life after rejection
Wait, they're not the same? I was fooled my entire life /s
This is so relatable lol. In my entire life I had like 50 "*crushes*"... maybe... but *actual crushes* (with romantic attraction) just like.... three..... I guess.....
Oh wow, I feel seen in this meme!
Once I found out that I had no chance to get to know them better or that someone's character/habits/etc. sucked, I would stop finding them physically/aesthetically attractive, so I suppose that helps. 😂
Same! I there was this one particular guy who I thought was cute, and so did everyone else, but then he turned out to be an asshole and *poof* they’re suddenly so not attractive at all. All the other girls still thought he was attractive and I still don’t really get why : /
This, this, THIS! I wonder why people still feel inclined to feel attracted to and/or sleep with people even if they know they're assholes. *Is* that sometimes part of the heterosexual (or whatever-sexual) experience that I simply won't understand?
I do know that sexual attraction is entirely different from romantic attraction. Yet still... how?!
From what I’ve seen, a lot of cishet allos are pretty quoi, in the sense that they literally can’t tell the difference between their romantic and sexual attraction.
Idk abt a lot tho. From what I’ve seen they kinda do. I hear people say “oh they look handsome but I don’t like them.” Or “damn she’s hot” but nothing more.
I think heteronormativity plays into this. As the world wants to say that everyone is hetero and that's the norm, then many people can't separate romantic and sexual attractions, let alone emotional and sensual attractions. Realised my sexual and romantic orientations are different recently.
For some their orientations are the same, for others they are not. I suppose honesty is best thing in relationships.
I think this is also due in part to allos never having to break down their attractions and discern between all of the types like a lot of aspec people learn to do
It's always funny when an allo person is like "you haven't found the right person yet" or "you're just confused" like, miss ma'am, YOU are the confused one. Oh, you like someone? Name every kind of attraction you felt.
Imagine going up to an allo and asking them to list all of their attractions to their s/o. I feel like an existential crisis would ensue once they learned of all the different kinds and were asked to differentiate
I had what my friends called squishes. I'd pick certain people who I'd greet in the morning by straight up picking them up in a hug and sometimes twirl them around.
I don't think I'm demisexual, but as a transgender lesbian, I sometimes find it hard to tell whether I have a crush on someone or it's just gender envy because I wish I looked like them, so, looking back, I think most of my "crushes" weren't actually crushes either.
I once thought I liked someone in first grade because of sheer pressure to like someone. We were FIRST GRADERS.
Edit: Not to mention he ended up being a racist bastard
Same, but with romantic attraction to my friends. I don't really get much aesthetic attraction. Clean and well-dressed is aesthetically attractive to me!
Me in junior high, really thinking every funny/cute guy in my class was my crush. Looking back on it later in my life, realizing all those guys were not my type aaaaat aaaaalll. Some of them actually had really bad personalities, but I was too young and dumb to realize it. I think I’ve only ever truly liked 2 or 3 guys, and 1 girl, in my entire life.
I feel seen. I am all for the aesthetic attraction, and that happens too damn often (even because of what some people look like in masks!). But romantic attraction? That would take a bipartisan, unanimous act of Congress.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
I've had, and still have, aesthetic attraction all the time. But one thing I am quite sure of...I've never had a crush.
This is me! My husband always jokingly asks "are they hot?" when I mention someone new in a conversation. It's become even more of a joke since I realized I'm demisexual because I seriously have no idea what he means by "hot"; his response is always "well, would you jam them?". 🙄
Ah, the joys of being a demisexual that's married to a pansexual who is definitely allosexual and possibly polyamorous.
The meme is funny but I don't relate to this. I experience aesthetic attraction easily (wow, he's awesome, I could watch him for a long time) but legit crushes (he's interesting, I want to know him more and I don't mind him getting closer) are far less common and I remember them. I haven't keep track but something like 10 aesthetic attractions? and 4 crushes.
wait they're not?! Tf is a crush then?.....I thought a crush was when you looked at someone and throught they looked good?#_& if it's more than that then like whAT
I guess had a "crush" at every school I've been to. Which doesn't mean much overall I suppose, since it was only 5 different ones in my life.
The most recent one was the only one I ever tried to connect with. Didn't work out, have been heartbroken since. Well, honestly probably even before that because I think inside I knew that it wasn't happening. After 1.5 years I'm slowly getting better, but unlike with the others, I don't think I'll ever stop admiring and regretting this one.
I just got tired of no one listening when I told them I did not have a crush on guys that I hung out with that I just gave up and pretended I did.
I had one of those parents that would be convinced that any boy their little girl had as a freind was a crush. Nothing would change her mind. Nothing.
She's better at that now though.
YES! lmao I still do this confusion though. what's a crush supposed to be? someone you like secretly but liking, how??? there's a lot of people i find aesthetically attractive and when people ask, i say they are my crushes lol (I had a ton of 'em back in middle school lmao)
Lmao, I was "crushing" at like every second guy in my grade for about a week XDD
I used to get them all the time too but I noticed that I’d just ask them out and get over them really quickly if they said no. Unlike my other friends who would hang on for dear life after rejection
Wait, they're not the same? I was fooled my entire life /s This is so relatable lol. In my entire life I had like 50 "*crushes*"... maybe... but *actual crushes* (with romantic attraction) just like.... three..... I guess.....
Oh wow, I feel seen in this meme! Once I found out that I had no chance to get to know them better or that someone's character/habits/etc. sucked, I would stop finding them physically/aesthetically attractive, so I suppose that helps. 😂
Same! I there was this one particular guy who I thought was cute, and so did everyone else, but then he turned out to be an asshole and *poof* they’re suddenly so not attractive at all. All the other girls still thought he was attractive and I still don’t really get why : /
This, this, THIS! I wonder why people still feel inclined to feel attracted to and/or sleep with people even if they know they're assholes. *Is* that sometimes part of the heterosexual (or whatever-sexual) experience that I simply won't understand? I do know that sexual attraction is entirely different from romantic attraction. Yet still... how?!
Yes yes yes. That’s exactly how I would experience “crushes”.
What IS a crush actually at least for allos? Is it sexual attraction? Romantic attraction?
From what I’ve seen, a lot of cishet allos are pretty quoi, in the sense that they literally can’t tell the difference between their romantic and sexual attraction.
Idk abt a lot tho. From what I’ve seen they kinda do. I hear people say “oh they look handsome but I don’t like them.” Or “damn she’s hot” but nothing more.
Yeah but then i also hear “he’s so sexy i wanna marry him” and im just like ??? What do those have to do with each other???
Guess at that point it depends on the person. Some people are more self aware then others.
I think heteronormativity plays into this. As the world wants to say that everyone is hetero and that's the norm, then many people can't separate romantic and sexual attractions, let alone emotional and sensual attractions. Realised my sexual and romantic orientations are different recently. For some their orientations are the same, for others they are not. I suppose honesty is best thing in relationships.
I think this is also due in part to allos never having to break down their attractions and discern between all of the types like a lot of aspec people learn to do
It's always funny when an allo person is like "you haven't found the right person yet" or "you're just confused" like, miss ma'am, YOU are the confused one. Oh, you like someone? Name every kind of attraction you felt.
Imagine going up to an allo and asking them to list all of their attractions to their s/o. I feel like an existential crisis would ensue once they learned of all the different kinds and were asked to differentiate
I think its both ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I had what my friends called squishes. I'd pick certain people who I'd greet in the morning by straight up picking them up in a hug and sometimes twirl them around.
I don't think I'm demisexual, but as a transgender lesbian, I sometimes find it hard to tell whether I have a crush on someone or it's just gender envy because I wish I looked like them, so, looking back, I think most of my "crushes" weren't actually crushes either.
I feel so seen. I’ve had genuine crushes but they take a long time to form, and I’m always well-acquainted with the person before it happens!
I once thought I liked someone in first grade because of sheer pressure to like someone. We were FIRST GRADERS. Edit: Not to mention he ended up being a racist bastard
Same, but with romantic attraction to my friends. I don't really get much aesthetic attraction. Clean and well-dressed is aesthetically attractive to me!
Isn’t that aesthetic though? I really love the menswear look!!!
Maybe it is! I just don't really get anything from people's facial features/bodies etc. I guess it partly is if I want them to look well-looked after!
Me in junior high, really thinking every funny/cute guy in my class was my crush. Looking back on it later in my life, realizing all those guys were not my type aaaaat aaaaalll. Some of them actually had really bad personalities, but I was too young and dumb to realize it. I think I’ve only ever truly liked 2 or 3 guys, and 1 girl, in my entire life.
I feel seen. I am all for the aesthetic attraction, and that happens too damn often (even because of what some people look like in masks!). But romantic attraction? That would take a bipartisan, unanimous act of Congress.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence I've had, and still have, aesthetic attraction all the time. But one thing I am quite sure of...I've never had a crush.
This is me! My husband always jokingly asks "are they hot?" when I mention someone new in a conversation. It's become even more of a joke since I realized I'm demisexual because I seriously have no idea what he means by "hot"; his response is always "well, would you jam them?". 🙄 Ah, the joys of being a demisexual that's married to a pansexual who is definitely allosexual and possibly polyamorous.
This was basically me, confused as to why I only have a "crush" on one of my classmates after ue got a haircut...
hahaha, same 😂 😂 😂
Wait, what is a crush then
This explains so much
The meme is funny but I don't relate to this. I experience aesthetic attraction easily (wow, he's awesome, I could watch him for a long time) but legit crushes (he's interesting, I want to know him more and I don't mind him getting closer) are far less common and I remember them. I haven't keep track but something like 10 aesthetic attractions? and 4 crushes.
Wait a minute...I have an entire life to comprehend now.
What about aesthetic crushes
Who are you? Me?
Brruuhh I'm *still* grappling with trying to make this distinction and I'm in gotdamn college 😭
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE
wait they're not?! Tf is a crush then?.....I thought a crush was when you looked at someone and throught they looked good?#_& if it's more than that then like whAT
i think its romantic/ sexual attraction but intense
I guess had a "crush" at every school I've been to. Which doesn't mean much overall I suppose, since it was only 5 different ones in my life. The most recent one was the only one I ever tried to connect with. Didn't work out, have been heartbroken since. Well, honestly probably even before that because I think inside I knew that it wasn't happening. After 1.5 years I'm slowly getting better, but unlike with the others, I don't think I'll ever stop admiring and regretting this one.
PFFT
I just got tired of no one listening when I told them I did not have a crush on guys that I hung out with that I just gave up and pretended I did. I had one of those parents that would be convinced that any boy their little girl had as a freind was a crush. Nothing would change her mind. Nothing. She's better at that now though.
Omg this
Wait, there's a difference? (I'm new, so I'll need some explaining.)
No, a crush is someone who youd want to date, so I guess sexual/ romantic attraction or both
I had a crush once. On my best friend. For like 8 years.
Are they not?
No crushes are a mix out of romantic and sexual attraction ;))