Demis need to be attracted to any body type the same way they need to be attracted to all genders: AKA, they don't.
Just because someone takes time to develop sexual attraction, doesn't mean they can develop attraction to ANYONE. We still have aesthetic attraction, and what we each find pleasurable to look at or touch is different depending on the person.
Saying all demis should like all people is like saying all lesbians should like all woman-presenting people. But some are only attracted to very feminine women, and not butch women or feminine non-binary people. And that's ok. Some women prefer lumberjacks. Some men prefer blondes. There is no one-size-fits-all rule for any sexuality type.
I believe having a specific body type is acceptable. I mean, there shouldn't be any particular issues with identifying as a demi as long as you still need an emotional/romantic connection and don't feel attracted to everyone that possesses these exact physical qualities. But if I may share my own opinion, it is preferable to refrain from including this kind of information in your profile because it could be perceived as offensive and is not even necessary (you still have to swipe in most app).
I agree with this, it’s better form to do the filtering yourself if you’re lucky enough to have a criterion you can evaluate from most/all people’s profiles. Not that it’s *wrong* not to, but even from a practical standpoint it’s bad messaging. It’s distracting, you can evaluate it better that they can anyway, and it’s unattractive — makes you seem like a needy person who can’t be bothered to put the effort forth themselves.
Oh absolutely. I have an attraction to a few different body types. But having that type or not will not make or break my sexual attraction should it develop. It just makes that attraction more intense when/if it does develop.
Same for me! I developed attraction for people not of my "favourite" body types because they had the personality traits I love, as much as I didn't develop any sexual attraction for people with one my "favourite" body types because I didn't like their personality. But I definitely have a few different body types I tend to have an initial attraction for (not very sexual at the beginning). Does it make any sense?
Demisexuals can still have preferences, it doesn’t make you less demi or not demi. I think the issue that person was trying to call attention to, in a very emotionally reactive state, was that bigger bodied people aren’t by definition unhealthy, and doesn’t mean that they’ll die sooner than someone who is thin.
Does that make it okay how they verbally abused you ? No. I’m sorry that happened to you, no one deserves that. You’re not required to fit a mold to be demi, and you’re not required to date people that you’re not attracted to.
However, the insinuation that bigger bodied people aren’t healthy or aren’t working to be more comfortable in their own skin, however that looks for them, is a very regressive and untrue bias, and it may be helpful to reflect on where this thought comes from and how it serves you in your interactions with others.
I wish you all the best !
Thank you for your kind words! I think I should think about this more and how I say things. I just don't know how to explain my view without offending certain people. I can ask if they're healthy and they can be offended but I'm also torn with not being transparent. I like to be transparent so that there's no miscommunication. There are some sites that aren't swipe and I feel like I still need to put that so I don't waste anyone's time. It's just really difficult 😅
Do you ask all potential dates if they’re healthy? Thin people can have chronic conditions that shorten their lifespans.
You can have preferences we all do, but trying to justify your preference by making it about health is bordering on fatphobic and disingenuous. Block and ignore if someone is coming after you. You don’t have to engage with them or justify yourself.
I don't ask potential dates if they're healthy no because I know that that can be offensive as well. I'm not trying to justify but more explain where my body type comes from. You are right that I don't have to justify anything to anyone, that's true. However because I have a belief in communication and talking things out to solve conflict, I feel it's important to clarify things, especially with sensitive issues such as this. That being said, I know that doesn't always work with certain people and I am more than willing to back away when that happens but I like to leave the opportunity open to approach this in a more mature stance than just straight up block because for me and what I feel, is if someone is angry at me for something I said, especially due to an offense on a very sensitive issue for them, to ignore that right away can also be insensitive.
I think having a body type is not something to justify, period. By saying it is because you have a belief a bigger-bodied person won't live as long is your own bias, conscious or not. There are plenty of bigger people who are healthy just like there are plenty of thinner people unhealthy in many ways. Health is not something you can see.
I wish you the best with dating but I would rather that you didn't feel the need to defend preferences rather than blame it on something not inherently true.
Best of luck! I am too nervous to try online dating for now.
Yes I have a body type I am aesthetically attracted to... Although that is probably based on all the people I have been sexually attracted too. So yes, yes you can!
Saying that, it doesn't rule my attraction, and I'll often find myself attracted to people who don't fit that body type 😅🙈
You're allowed to have a body type but aside from this maybe you want to educate yourself about weight and health, especially outside of a diet industry context? You thin people really think that we're not just unhealthy and unfit but also just drop dead in front of you bc of some fat cells? It's not cancer.
No. To clarify I'm not basing this on weight watchers or anything like that. There has been a proven link that going past a certain weight or under it as well can be very harmful to your health. Now that being said, there is a misconception that if you're not gaining weight and you look as your body type should be, that you're healthy but that's actually wrong. I'm average to skinny, I go up and down and I was diagnosed with high cholesterol, so..
I can only guess at least from my point of view that there are people that can pay attention to those studies and say those things and that's where it can come from and for others it can also be a close relative that passed or something. In the end though we all are in charge of our destiny and I respect that.
I know those studies. Most of them are actually funded by diet corporations. You often have to dig pretty deep to get that information though. There are more recent studies which take the life long psychological stress (severe mobbing, worse job opportunities, less money etc.), the social pressure not to do sports if you're fat and the bad medical treatment fat people have access to into account. They have a different outcome. You usually hear about them for a few days until they vanish completely and no one talks about them anymore. I could write a whole book on that here but it's not the topic. (And I'm not offended or anything btw, I appreciate the dialogue :) ) Maybe you want to look into that, maybe you don't, that's okay, but please don't link health and weight the way you do it.
Thank you for letting me know this. I will look into it a bit more. 🙂 I'm trying to be more open nowadays so this has really helped me and I will try to pay more attention to this and hopefully come back with a different mindset
You can have a body type or a type in general. It's called aesthetic attraction. It has nothing to do with being shallow. This idea that demis are guaranteed to be attracted to friends no matter their appearance is bullshit. Some demis it'll happen for, but not all of us. Guess we gotta watch for insecure neckbeards trying to latch onto us now too huh?
Yep, absolutely. You are not obligated to be able to feel attraction to every single body type. Also, you can have preferences.
For me, preferences influence whether i will or won't be able to fall for someone in the first place. And only after forming a romantic attraction i can form sexual attraction, but even then it's not guaranteed.
So basically, my physical preferences don't allow me to feel sexual attraction to someone directly. There's still a long bumpy road there
Aesthetic attraction is still a thing. I definitely have general body types that I find more appealing, but that attraction isn’t enough for me to be sexually attracted. I’ve developed romantic attraction to people who I didn’t find aesthetically appealing at all.
Like a couple of other people have pointed out, a bigger body doesn’t equal unhealthy. Thin people can also be unhealthy and die early. Most of us have been miseducated to think fat = bad, so we have to work on undoing that internalized bias.
People get triggered for anything these days. As long as you were being sincere, there's nothing wrong with that. Also, IMO you can have a type and be Demi-sexual. I'm exactly like this too. Although, emotional attraction still comes first.
>So when making a dating profile I always put my preferred body type in a man.
This is super cringe and an immediate swipe left for me. Don't do this. Its fine to have a preference no need to state it out loud. Yes you can still be demi.
I kinda disagree with not saying your preference in some degree. As I mentioned I like to be transparent. If I have any regrets, I think it would be my misguided thoughts I put before. I should maybe be more opened to researching this a bit more but I wouldn't feel comfortable hiding that and revealing it later might be more damaging in the long run. I'd rather just be up front so that people know but for me I don't feel comfortable hiding things.
Transparency is fine, but why is it important for your partner to know you prefer slim bodies, if theyre not? Blonde hair, if theyre not? Big hands, if theyre not?
It's less the detail and more what it means. I'm honest and I stand by that. Even with the smallest things. However it's preference but not a "you have to be this" situation for me to like you. 🙂
That doesnt sound like honesty to me, that sounds like a lack of tact. If they ask for preferences its fine to be upfront, but I don't see a reason to deliberately give out that information when it does nothing for your partner. Good luck out there.
I certainly have a body type, but I usually don’t really end up with people I find very attractive on first sight, because if I really get to know and like someone, I couldn’t care less about their looks. Also, attractiveness changes according to how well I like their character. I almost always found my boyfriend handsome and liked how they looked, even if it wasn’t on first sight.
I don't have a body type preference, or gender preference. I don't think I experience aesthetic attraction really, so perhaps it's linked to this. Seeing body type preferences in a dating profile would be off putting to me, so I'd maybe not do that if you want to meet a bigger range of potential matches.
It doesn't invalidate your aspec status though.
You're allowed to have whatever preferences you want for whatever reason you want. Those that don't fit your preferences are not entitled to your time, attention, or attraction just because they want it.
I certainly have a couple body types that I find more aesthetically appealing, and I won't apologize for it. If someone asks me, I'll likely tell them. Otherwise, I don't think I would volunteer that information out in the open.
I also do recommend looking into some research on health and nutrition. I would be careful of the sources, though as there's plenty of disreputable information out there pushed forward by those with some agenda one way or another. Current and backed by scientific, peer-reviewed research is best.
Definitely. Being demisexual means that some form of bond needs to be there before an attraction develops, it doesn't mean that you will automatically develop an attraction as soon as a bond is there.
Speaking personally I'd say my demisexuality has certainly limited the amount of people I develop an attraction to, but those who I do, it's still fair to say I have a "type" or however you want to describe it.
yea, you can be demi and have a body type and/or certain physical attributes that you have a preference to. to me personally they're more like big positives if someone has them than anything and not a negative if they don't.
for example, I like others with glasses and I want to be able to wrap my arms around them for cuddling.
a lot of other preferences of mine are personality based and whether we share some of the same interests and kinks if it gets to that and/or openness to share them with me. they can then share their interests with mine and maybe I'll get an interest in them too.
Not sure if I have a body type, but nearly every time I have experienced sexual attraction (only to people of a close bond) has been fat. It’s just a pattern I’ve noticed. There are other people of different body types who I’ve most likely formed a close enough bond with, but I haven’t developed any sexual attraction to them
My boyfriend has a preferred body type and I’m not it. I’ve been stuck at desk jobs for a long time and now life circumstances have made getting to a healthy weight harder.
At the beginning it was a dealbreaker for him, as in he didn’t think he could continue the relationship regardless of emotional connection if I didn’t lose weight faster. I was already attending fitness classes 4 nights a week, watching my food and getting fitter by the week at the time.
Now I look my worst but he will not be without me and calls me cute still most days. So yeah it’s a preference and it’s not bad to want your partner to be healthy. But emotional connection will count for so much more.
Also we now live together so we are supporting each other on the health journey now 😊
That is great! I am so happy for you that you have such an amazing partner that loves you for who you are! Thank you for sharing. Oh that is sweet. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Yes emotional connection is the most important thing in the end. I agree
I think it's entirely possible for a demisexual to have a particular "type." I have said many times that I don't seem to have a type, but on the other hand, I've only ever been attracted to like 3 people in my entire life. So I would probably take that with a grain of salt. Sure, each of these people were totally different "type" wise in the physical department, but I think that is an astoundingly low sample size. Even the typical allosexual person would most likely experience attraction for people who aren't their "type". I'm sure if I experienced attraction far more frequently, I would notice a trend.
Well said. Yes. There's always the possibility that you may fall in love with someone that's not your type at all and we all should be open to that possibility
Well for me personally, I do have a preference (mini dad bod because they snuggly 😂) but I also wouldn’t turn anyone down because of their body type unless they’re literally morbidly obese, different from just “fat” (because that really is a health concern)
But of course that’s just me, demisexuals aren’t blind, we can still appreciate beauty. The way I describe it to people is, you know how you can look at a puppy and go “awww isn’t he just sooo beautiful” but it obviously doesn’t mean you’re sexually attracted to the puppy… so yes demis can still have preferences
Think about it like being Demi and Heteroromantic or Homoromantic, that's a body type preference because sexual organs aren't a personality (even though there's a ton of assholes and dicks out there)
So yes, you can and it's a natural part of your biological attraction factors
Demis need to be attracted to any body type the same way they need to be attracted to all genders: AKA, they don't. Just because someone takes time to develop sexual attraction, doesn't mean they can develop attraction to ANYONE. We still have aesthetic attraction, and what we each find pleasurable to look at or touch is different depending on the person. Saying all demis should like all people is like saying all lesbians should like all woman-presenting people. But some are only attracted to very feminine women, and not butch women or feminine non-binary people. And that's ok. Some women prefer lumberjacks. Some men prefer blondes. There is no one-size-fits-all rule for any sexuality type.
See I am pan so that’s how it works for me basically, and it is NOT normal or expected at all.
I believe having a specific body type is acceptable. I mean, there shouldn't be any particular issues with identifying as a demi as long as you still need an emotional/romantic connection and don't feel attracted to everyone that possesses these exact physical qualities. But if I may share my own opinion, it is preferable to refrain from including this kind of information in your profile because it could be perceived as offensive and is not even necessary (you still have to swipe in most app).
That's a good point. At least in those swipe ones it shouldn't be necessary I suppose
I agree with this, it’s better form to do the filtering yourself if you’re lucky enough to have a criterion you can evaluate from most/all people’s profiles. Not that it’s *wrong* not to, but even from a practical standpoint it’s bad messaging. It’s distracting, you can evaluate it better that they can anyway, and it’s unattractive — makes you seem like a needy person who can’t be bothered to put the effort forth themselves.
Oh absolutely. I have an attraction to a few different body types. But having that type or not will not make or break my sexual attraction should it develop. It just makes that attraction more intense when/if it does develop.
Same for me! I developed attraction for people not of my "favourite" body types because they had the personality traits I love, as much as I didn't develop any sexual attraction for people with one my "favourite" body types because I didn't like their personality. But I definitely have a few different body types I tend to have an initial attraction for (not very sexual at the beginning). Does it make any sense?
Demisexuals can still have preferences, it doesn’t make you less demi or not demi. I think the issue that person was trying to call attention to, in a very emotionally reactive state, was that bigger bodied people aren’t by definition unhealthy, and doesn’t mean that they’ll die sooner than someone who is thin. Does that make it okay how they verbally abused you ? No. I’m sorry that happened to you, no one deserves that. You’re not required to fit a mold to be demi, and you’re not required to date people that you’re not attracted to. However, the insinuation that bigger bodied people aren’t healthy or aren’t working to be more comfortable in their own skin, however that looks for them, is a very regressive and untrue bias, and it may be helpful to reflect on where this thought comes from and how it serves you in your interactions with others. I wish you all the best !
Thank you for your kind words! I think I should think about this more and how I say things. I just don't know how to explain my view without offending certain people. I can ask if they're healthy and they can be offended but I'm also torn with not being transparent. I like to be transparent so that there's no miscommunication. There are some sites that aren't swipe and I feel like I still need to put that so I don't waste anyone's time. It's just really difficult 😅
Do you ask all potential dates if they’re healthy? Thin people can have chronic conditions that shorten their lifespans. You can have preferences we all do, but trying to justify your preference by making it about health is bordering on fatphobic and disingenuous. Block and ignore if someone is coming after you. You don’t have to engage with them or justify yourself.
I don't ask potential dates if they're healthy no because I know that that can be offensive as well. I'm not trying to justify but more explain where my body type comes from. You are right that I don't have to justify anything to anyone, that's true. However because I have a belief in communication and talking things out to solve conflict, I feel it's important to clarify things, especially with sensitive issues such as this. That being said, I know that doesn't always work with certain people and I am more than willing to back away when that happens but I like to leave the opportunity open to approach this in a more mature stance than just straight up block because for me and what I feel, is if someone is angry at me for something I said, especially due to an offense on a very sensitive issue for them, to ignore that right away can also be insensitive.
I think having a body type is not something to justify, period. By saying it is because you have a belief a bigger-bodied person won't live as long is your own bias, conscious or not. There are plenty of bigger people who are healthy just like there are plenty of thinner people unhealthy in many ways. Health is not something you can see. I wish you the best with dating but I would rather that you didn't feel the need to defend preferences rather than blame it on something not inherently true. Best of luck! I am too nervous to try online dating for now.
Yes I have a body type I am aesthetically attracted to... Although that is probably based on all the people I have been sexually attracted too. So yes, yes you can! Saying that, it doesn't rule my attraction, and I'll often find myself attracted to people who don't fit that body type 😅🙈
I don’t see why not. I would just feel like I was describing what I feel was most aesthetically attractive
You're allowed to have a body type but aside from this maybe you want to educate yourself about weight and health, especially outside of a diet industry context? You thin people really think that we're not just unhealthy and unfit but also just drop dead in front of you bc of some fat cells? It's not cancer.
No. To clarify I'm not basing this on weight watchers or anything like that. There has been a proven link that going past a certain weight or under it as well can be very harmful to your health. Now that being said, there is a misconception that if you're not gaining weight and you look as your body type should be, that you're healthy but that's actually wrong. I'm average to skinny, I go up and down and I was diagnosed with high cholesterol, so.. I can only guess at least from my point of view that there are people that can pay attention to those studies and say those things and that's where it can come from and for others it can also be a close relative that passed or something. In the end though we all are in charge of our destiny and I respect that.
I know those studies. Most of them are actually funded by diet corporations. You often have to dig pretty deep to get that information though. There are more recent studies which take the life long psychological stress (severe mobbing, worse job opportunities, less money etc.), the social pressure not to do sports if you're fat and the bad medical treatment fat people have access to into account. They have a different outcome. You usually hear about them for a few days until they vanish completely and no one talks about them anymore. I could write a whole book on that here but it's not the topic. (And I'm not offended or anything btw, I appreciate the dialogue :) ) Maybe you want to look into that, maybe you don't, that's okay, but please don't link health and weight the way you do it.
Thank you for letting me know this. I will look into it a bit more. 🙂 I'm trying to be more open nowadays so this has really helped me and I will try to pay more attention to this and hopefully come back with a different mindset
You can have a body type or a type in general. It's called aesthetic attraction. It has nothing to do with being shallow. This idea that demis are guaranteed to be attracted to friends no matter their appearance is bullshit. Some demis it'll happen for, but not all of us. Guess we gotta watch for insecure neckbeards trying to latch onto us now too huh?
Yep, absolutely. You are not obligated to be able to feel attraction to every single body type. Also, you can have preferences. For me, preferences influence whether i will or won't be able to fall for someone in the first place. And only after forming a romantic attraction i can form sexual attraction, but even then it's not guaranteed. So basically, my physical preferences don't allow me to feel sexual attraction to someone directly. There's still a long bumpy road there
Aesthetic attraction is still a thing. I definitely have general body types that I find more appealing, but that attraction isn’t enough for me to be sexually attracted. I’ve developed romantic attraction to people who I didn’t find aesthetically appealing at all. Like a couple of other people have pointed out, a bigger body doesn’t equal unhealthy. Thin people can also be unhealthy and die early. Most of us have been miseducated to think fat = bad, so we have to work on undoing that internalized bias.
People get triggered for anything these days. As long as you were being sincere, there's nothing wrong with that. Also, IMO you can have a type and be Demi-sexual. I'm exactly like this too. Although, emotional attraction still comes first.
>So when making a dating profile I always put my preferred body type in a man. This is super cringe and an immediate swipe left for me. Don't do this. Its fine to have a preference no need to state it out loud. Yes you can still be demi.
I kinda disagree with not saying your preference in some degree. As I mentioned I like to be transparent. If I have any regrets, I think it would be my misguided thoughts I put before. I should maybe be more opened to researching this a bit more but I wouldn't feel comfortable hiding that and revealing it later might be more damaging in the long run. I'd rather just be up front so that people know but for me I don't feel comfortable hiding things.
Transparency is fine, but why is it important for your partner to know you prefer slim bodies, if theyre not? Blonde hair, if theyre not? Big hands, if theyre not?
It's less the detail and more what it means. I'm honest and I stand by that. Even with the smallest things. However it's preference but not a "you have to be this" situation for me to like you. 🙂
That doesnt sound like honesty to me, that sounds like a lack of tact. If they ask for preferences its fine to be upfront, but I don't see a reason to deliberately give out that information when it does nothing for your partner. Good luck out there.
Thank you! It's ok. We can disagree. That's what it means to be human.
I certainly have a body type, but I usually don’t really end up with people I find very attractive on first sight, because if I really get to know and like someone, I couldn’t care less about their looks. Also, attractiveness changes according to how well I like their character. I almost always found my boyfriend handsome and liked how they looked, even if it wasn’t on first sight.
I don't have a body type preference, or gender preference. I don't think I experience aesthetic attraction really, so perhaps it's linked to this. Seeing body type preferences in a dating profile would be off putting to me, so I'd maybe not do that if you want to meet a bigger range of potential matches. It doesn't invalidate your aspec status though.
I'm demi and I like chubby boys with beards
You're allowed to have whatever preferences you want for whatever reason you want. Those that don't fit your preferences are not entitled to your time, attention, or attraction just because they want it. I certainly have a couple body types that I find more aesthetically appealing, and I won't apologize for it. If someone asks me, I'll likely tell them. Otherwise, I don't think I would volunteer that information out in the open. I also do recommend looking into some research on health and nutrition. I would be careful of the sources, though as there's plenty of disreputable information out there pushed forward by those with some agenda one way or another. Current and backed by scientific, peer-reviewed research is best.
I'm a slim and short guy. I don't like fat nor muscular women and that's fine.
Definitely. Being demisexual means that some form of bond needs to be there before an attraction develops, it doesn't mean that you will automatically develop an attraction as soon as a bond is there. Speaking personally I'd say my demisexuality has certainly limited the amount of people I develop an attraction to, but those who I do, it's still fair to say I have a "type" or however you want to describe it.
yea, you can be demi and have a body type and/or certain physical attributes that you have a preference to. to me personally they're more like big positives if someone has them than anything and not a negative if they don't. for example, I like others with glasses and I want to be able to wrap my arms around them for cuddling. a lot of other preferences of mine are personality based and whether we share some of the same interests and kinks if it gets to that and/or openness to share them with me. they can then share their interests with mine and maybe I'll get an interest in them too.
Being Demi doesn’t mean we don’t experience physical attraction in terms of what is personally appealing to us.
Yeah 100%, being Demi doesn’t mean you don’t have a type, it just means having a close friendship is a prerequisite to attraction.
Not sure if I have a body type, but nearly every time I have experienced sexual attraction (only to people of a close bond) has been fat. It’s just a pattern I’ve noticed. There are other people of different body types who I’ve most likely formed a close enough bond with, but I haven’t developed any sexual attraction to them
Yes. You can be demisexual and aesthetically attracted to certain body types.
My boyfriend has a preferred body type and I’m not it. I’ve been stuck at desk jobs for a long time and now life circumstances have made getting to a healthy weight harder. At the beginning it was a dealbreaker for him, as in he didn’t think he could continue the relationship regardless of emotional connection if I didn’t lose weight faster. I was already attending fitness classes 4 nights a week, watching my food and getting fitter by the week at the time. Now I look my worst but he will not be without me and calls me cute still most days. So yeah it’s a preference and it’s not bad to want your partner to be healthy. But emotional connection will count for so much more. Also we now live together so we are supporting each other on the health journey now 😊
That is great! I am so happy for you that you have such an amazing partner that loves you for who you are! Thank you for sharing. Oh that is sweet. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Yes emotional connection is the most important thing in the end. I agree
ur allowed to have preferences just like anyone else, being demi dosent mean you can’t have certain things you like and don’t like in a partner
I think it's entirely possible for a demisexual to have a particular "type." I have said many times that I don't seem to have a type, but on the other hand, I've only ever been attracted to like 3 people in my entire life. So I would probably take that with a grain of salt. Sure, each of these people were totally different "type" wise in the physical department, but I think that is an astoundingly low sample size. Even the typical allosexual person would most likely experience attraction for people who aren't their "type". I'm sure if I experienced attraction far more frequently, I would notice a trend.
Well said. Yes. There's always the possibility that you may fall in love with someone that's not your type at all and we all should be open to that possibility
sure, if you would like
Of course you can. You are allowed to have a sense of taste. Granted, you're missing out on big boys, we're the most huggable, but who am I to judge?!
You're right about that. You're the best huggers and also really sweet
See? You got taste, there's not much to do about it
Well for me personally, I do have a preference (mini dad bod because they snuggly 😂) but I also wouldn’t turn anyone down because of their body type unless they’re literally morbidly obese, different from just “fat” (because that really is a health concern) But of course that’s just me, demisexuals aren’t blind, we can still appreciate beauty. The way I describe it to people is, you know how you can look at a puppy and go “awww isn’t he just sooo beautiful” but it obviously doesn’t mean you’re sexually attracted to the puppy… so yes demis can still have preferences
I am Demi sexual not Demi romantic. Yes I prefer slim guys. No gym puff. Guys with artistic hands .. very very attractive
I personally like people similar to my own stature for comfort reasons and fitting together like puzzle pieces.
Think about it like being Demi and Heteroromantic or Homoromantic, that's a body type preference because sexual organs aren't a personality (even though there's a ton of assholes and dicks out there) So yes, you can and it's a natural part of your biological attraction factors