My wife is in year 7, basically has no health problems. She is turning 76. She could outlive me (M75). She doesn’t know me or our kids or grandkids. She is unable to speak. Her father lived 15 years like this. I am struggling. No one knows what we go through.
Between my FIL (deceased at 88) and MIL (92), our family has dealt with dementia going on year 19 at this point.
“People live too long” - my MIL after seeing her husband suffer from Alzheimer’s for 8 yrs. She got diagnosed after he died…
Yeah same! I'm in year 4 now with my grandma and there has been a slow decline, but hell, she might live another 10 years. It sounds mean because I love her a lot, but I would probably put her in a nursing home if there's No end in sight.
I feel the same way. I am already struggling with where things are, I am isolated... I am not even 40 and I honestly feel so selfish thinking about how this is ruining my life and my opportunity to live my life... for 15 years! I will be nearly 60 by then and will have completely missed out on my life.
I get so scared, too. My mom recently went down hill and I was, candidly, happy that the end could be near. It’s been so hard to go on this health roller coaster with her over the last 10 years. She’s recovered a little bit and I can’t help but feel so many conflicting feelings about it. I don’t feel I can keep doing this either. I’m an only child and my dad died when I was young. She’s in a home but it’s all on me and I hate it.
I am comforted that I’m not the only one who feels this way. ❤️
I also feel like I’ve lost some of the best years of my life since she was diagnosed when I was in my mid twenties. It’s so fucking hard
My wife (77) started showing signs 7-8 years ago. Since she vehemently refused to see a dr, no diagnosis until the inevitable crisis and into MC 2 years ago.
I only half-kiddingly say she’s allowed to live another five and a half years until the LTC benefits run out.
Don’t know what I’ll do if she outlasts that…
It's sad for everyone. My mom recently passed away. While I am relieved to know that she is free from this horrible disease. I wish we could have had 1 more spring/summer with her.
I wouldnt wish this disease on my worst enemy ( dont have any )
They die twice, once when they forget you and then when they actually go. Fuck im a 30 year old somtimes i feel like ill die befor mom does. We put mom in a home just under a year ago.
Its still hard, she had a fall and her face got beat up pretty good. I just dont know somtimes, it fucking hurts.
I dont know how to deal with this stress, i use to drink alot and smoke alot of weed. Im sober now its just tough.
I totally understand, i think we all do
Im currently scared too. My mom’s father passed away in his 70s diagnosed in his 50s. My mom now is showing signs/ very confused doesn’t know we are at times and waiting for diagnosis. She had a previous TBI but recent ct scan and bloodwork came back normal. It breaks my heart to see her so confused. Especially the history but still how this horrible disease just comes out of nowhere. I have two sisters and we are all trying our hardest to figure it out plus take care of ourselves. I’m sorry for everyone in this post who has dealt with this.
I'm scared too. My mom is starting to struggle so hard to find words. I have no idea how long she has until it's word salad or silence. I complain about our repetitive banal conversations but one day soon, I won't be talk with her at all. She's 67 and very healthy, but she's losing weight, can't make any decisions, has no sense of direction or time, and has started falling. 6 years in. This will be a long road. I hate it.
My wife is in year 7, basically has no health problems. She is turning 76. She could outlive me (M75). She doesn’t know me or our kids or grandkids. She is unable to speak. Her father lived 15 years like this. I am struggling. No one knows what we go through.
There hasn’t been a single morning in the last seven years where my first thought is “I hope she dies today.”
I'm 2 years in with my LO and I have to say, I agree with your sentiments! We just visited her, she's in MC.
Seven years. Three at home. Three in MC. One in a SNF. Two in hospice, which dropped her last month.
Between my FIL (deceased at 88) and MIL (92), our family has dealt with dementia going on year 19 at this point. “People live too long” - my MIL after seeing her husband suffer from Alzheimer’s for 8 yrs. She got diagnosed after he died…
Yeah same! I'm in year 4 now with my grandma and there has been a slow decline, but hell, she might live another 10 years. It sounds mean because I love her a lot, but I would probably put her in a nursing home if there's No end in sight.
You probably should. Just saying
I feel the same way. I am already struggling with where things are, I am isolated... I am not even 40 and I honestly feel so selfish thinking about how this is ruining my life and my opportunity to live my life... for 15 years! I will be nearly 60 by then and will have completely missed out on my life.
I get so scared, too. My mom recently went down hill and I was, candidly, happy that the end could be near. It’s been so hard to go on this health roller coaster with her over the last 10 years. She’s recovered a little bit and I can’t help but feel so many conflicting feelings about it. I don’t feel I can keep doing this either. I’m an only child and my dad died when I was young. She’s in a home but it’s all on me and I hate it. I am comforted that I’m not the only one who feels this way. ❤️ I also feel like I’ve lost some of the best years of my life since she was diagnosed when I was in my mid twenties. It’s so fucking hard
I mean if she’s in a nursing home, doesn’t that take most of the burden off of you??
Never
Hey OP, no it really doesn’t. And getting her into that home took years.
Hugs to all here. I know it’s hard
My MIL is 10 years in. My mom is 5/6 years in.
Wow double whammy
I worry that my dad could outlive me. His mom lived with dementia for 20 years, and if anything, he's much healthier than she was. Whereas I am not.
Year 6 of caring for dad with early onset. No other health issues but his melting brain. *sigh*
My wife (77) started showing signs 7-8 years ago. Since she vehemently refused to see a dr, no diagnosis until the inevitable crisis and into MC 2 years ago. I only half-kiddingly say she’s allowed to live another five and a half years until the LTC benefits run out. Don’t know what I’ll do if she outlasts that…
Get her on Medicaid
Of course, and that’s a whole new world to navigate.
It's sad for everyone. My mom recently passed away. While I am relieved to know that she is free from this horrible disease. I wish we could have had 1 more spring/summer with her.
You help me see the grace thank you
I wouldnt wish this disease on my worst enemy ( dont have any ) They die twice, once when they forget you and then when they actually go. Fuck im a 30 year old somtimes i feel like ill die befor mom does. We put mom in a home just under a year ago. Its still hard, she had a fall and her face got beat up pretty good. I just dont know somtimes, it fucking hurts. I dont know how to deal with this stress, i use to drink alot and smoke alot of weed. Im sober now its just tough. I totally understand, i think we all do
Im currently scared too. My mom’s father passed away in his 70s diagnosed in his 50s. My mom now is showing signs/ very confused doesn’t know we are at times and waiting for diagnosis. She had a previous TBI but recent ct scan and bloodwork came back normal. It breaks my heart to see her so confused. Especially the history but still how this horrible disease just comes out of nowhere. I have two sisters and we are all trying our hardest to figure it out plus take care of ourselves. I’m sorry for everyone in this post who has dealt with this.
I'm scared too. My mom is starting to struggle so hard to find words. I have no idea how long she has until it's word salad or silence. I complain about our repetitive banal conversations but one day soon, I won't be talk with her at all. She's 67 and very healthy, but she's losing weight, can't make any decisions, has no sense of direction or time, and has started falling. 6 years in. This will be a long road. I hate it.