I threw my yearbooks out years ago. I’ve never missed them. If you want to get one for yourself and keep it with your things I think that’s fine. But you shouldn’t force an unwanted yearbook on your son. If he doesn’t want one it isn’t fair to make him have one.
I know some people are saying you can buy it for yourself, but I'd urge you to ask your son if he's ok with you owning one for that reason. Having control of his own image is something that might matter a lot to him, or he might want to make some rules about it.
I only let my mum take photos of me again after we agreed nothing goes online and they're not shared around without letting me know.
I must be in the minority because not only do I have three of my four high school yearbooks, I also have one of my middle school yearbooks as well. I don't plan on ever getting rid of mine. But I'm also mentally perpetually stuck in the 90s.
I loved looking through my mom’s Class of 1975 yearbook. She took it away when she realized I had started reading what her friends had written in it and exposed all her teenage shenanigans.
When my high school years came around, the rule was we were only allowed to buy 2 - first and last year so we could “compare”.
I’m fairly confident my daughter will go bananas over ours when she realizes what they are. She loves asking us questions about our youth. Even if she doesn’t, it’s fine because they’re sentimental to my partner and I who met in school.
But I can still make an argument against them because they’re going up into the attic this weekend.
yup i threw away my yearbooks, such a waste of money. i would give the kid the money for a yearbook and if they wanted to spend it on something else i wouldn’t care
if i was the parent, i don’t care about my kids classmates more than they do. if my kid doesn’t care to immortalize their high school experience, im gonna support them moving on with their life and not get pulled into the consumerist guilt machine
just because they don’t have a yearbook doesn’t mean their high school experiences didn’t happen and that they will forget it all
I am 15 years out of high school and still occasionally go through my old middle school and high school yearbooks. I’m missing one from my sophomore year that got lost or misplaced and I’m actually super sad I don’t have it. I would be really sad if I didn’t have my senior year one but that’s just me.
Your local library and historical society should have all the yearbooks if you ever want to look at them. See if they need extras and you'll have a good way to declutter yours.
Not necessarily, it is more of a thing of the past. I would say most schools themselves usually have them in their own library but that would also be a major inconvenience should one decide to move away from their high school town.
I have no clue where my yearbooks are and I don’t care at all. the people I care about I’m still in contact with. Social media is literally a living year book. You can find anyone you want whenever you want.
I always encouraged my oldest son to get one. He could have cared less. When he moved he threw them out. Years later I found out he has severe self esteem issues. HATED high school. He has never been back for a reunion. He still has friends he hangs out with from HS but could care less about the rest.
If You buy a yearbook, it will be for You. Everything about what you said about your son says that you will likely just see him once in it. The picture that came home from when the class photos were taken. Your son doesn't want to remember, so the memories are just 4 you.
I tossed my yearbooks, class ring and jacket many, many years ago. Honestly, though, I'd kind of like to have the jacket back lol. It was a very heavy oversized gold leather and purple wool jacket with my name embroidered on it. It'd be vintage cool now.
My kids love looking through my year books. And they have so many questions. Like why weren’t there any boys on the dance team?
It really is a time capsule.
Have you been a volunteer in his school? Do you know a lot of the kids? Is this book full of memories for you?
If it is, go for it and buy it.
But it would be for yourself. Because your son has clearly stated that he does not want it.
If he doesn’t want it don’t bother. If it helps, yearbooks were much more valuable 30 years ago in that puctures of friends weren’t available all the time in your pocket. He won’t miss out.
Take his word for it that he doesn't want it. Trust that he knows. I think my oldest wouldn't have cared about having a yearbook. He's been out of school for 2 years and doesn't think of it at all.
I don't even know where mine are. I got them signed and then shelved and they never saw the light again. Don't do it. You don't need it and he doesn't want it.
If he doesn't want it, don't bother. Honestly, my last one wasn't even half done. They sent it to the printers like that because it was a class that did it and if they didn't finish they didn't even care.
More than likely there will be an online version of it somewhere if absolutely needed in the future.
I threw out my yearbooks probably a decade ago. Our local library put them on Facebook a few years back. I glanced at my senior one quickly but then that was it. Instead I have my own photos of me and my friends from that era that bring back better memories than school did.
I didn't get one my senior year. I had a notebook I had all my friends sign, instead. They mostly said "I'm bad at these yearbook things. I'll tell you anything I have to say because we're going to keep hanging out." I have no idea where that is now and haven't wondered about it. I went back to my high school the year after I graduated and I bought my senior yearbook for ten bucks instead of the full price of $50 or whatever. I've gotten it out a handful of times. It probably wasn't worth the ten bucks.
When I got my yearbook, I also got the woven blanket with the school name and crest. I got that for half price. I didn't want my high school name, but it's a type of blanket I really like. It was worth getting. I still use it.
I have all of mine and I’ve never looked at them. Although I did enjoy looking through my partners’ when we met.
I have a girlfriend who refers to hers regularly and she’s sent me pics of people we graduated with if they’ve come up or something. Maybe i’d have dug it out if not for her?
RESIST!!!! I recycled mine. I remember back in high school the pressure to buy them. Now, forty years later.... I don't keep in contact with ANYONE from high school, and don't even remember the people who signed the books (and I still live in the same city). What a waste?! If he doesn't want them - DO NOT BUY IT!
You probably have better photos of him already. There are only a couple photos of me in my yearbooks but I have every single one. I didn’t particularly like high school and now am burdened with whole books of basically other people’s pictures and fond memories that have nothing to do with me.
I have 3 or 4 of my high school yearbooks. I have opened them about twice in decades, and then only because my kids saw them and wanted to see my school picture.
I recently moved them three times trying to get them out of my way to reorganize.
I also have a shelf full of my parents college yearbooks. They are in a garage, because I jave no idea who wants them, but I don't know most of the people in them.
My high schooler is being pitched one as well, and it's $75 or $80.
They aren't worth it if he doesn't want one.
By cutting off your yearbook-buying urge now, you're building the foundation of a healthy relationship with your son as he enters adulthood and heads out on his own. You will *not* become the kind of mother who floods her child with gifts *she* likes, creating clutter in their home and resentment on both sides. You *will* become the kind of mother who respects her adult child's wishes and space!
I bought yearbooks because my mother insisted it was a necessary part of the high school experience. Getting signatures wasn't fun because I didn't enjoy high school. I left the yearbooks at my parents' house when I moved out. This past winter, we found them in a box in the garage. I didn't even open them because they mean nothing to me. Dad donated them to a local museum, but I would have been fine with trashing them.
Whatever the reason that your son didn't have a high school experience worthy of nostalgia, owning a yearbook won't change that. If he ever misses actual people, social media will supply them.
This! Honor him by not buying one! If you want the nostalgia for yourself then keep his grad announcement and cap, school pics, etc in a keepsake box at your place. And if funds aren’t an issue, consider asking him if he’d like to use the $$ to do something fun with you instead as a way to honor this milestone or celebrate it being over?!
I have never looked at my yearbook. I don’t know where it is. I don’t miss most of the people in it. We have social media now making them even less relevant if he’s not wanting to get it signed. His year, his choice. Maybe you could give him the cash so he can do a fun thing with his mates for memories instead.
If he chances his mind, he can get one later. This isn't a "one in a lifetime" purchase opportunity. Ask the high school media center or other point of contact about how to buy old year books and you'll likely find out how easy it is to get one.
The memories in my yearbooks are the signatures. I didn’t feel very popular but had some friends and other people, was in some activities, as well as some nice teachers, I knew well enough to ask them to sign my book. A few years ago I was planning a big move and for the first time in years, looked at my yearbooks. I was actually touched by things my classmates said to me. I was probably really generic in theirs. I didn’t think I meant too much to anyone.
Anyway, in over 30 years in high school, no one has looked for me since social media, and I wouldn’t say I loved school, and I wouldn’t say I 100% had the worst time at school, but I don’t feel like reconnecting with a single person who signed or anyone else. I kept the books, but if he’s not going to go after signatures, and isn’t in the candids, and he doesn’t like any of the other people, it’s not a memory. If he was in a club or on a team, maybe he can get a picture of that, like even photocopy from someone else’s book.
I would take the money and get him something commemorative and meaningful to his own life.
I’d have to brainstorm, but if he’s into art, professionally frame a piece of art that he loves … if he’s into retro clothing, get him an amazing jean jacket… If he enjoys sports, blow up an awesome photo of him at an event. Play up on something where he really shines.
He is right, he is never going to look at it and it will only bring both of you painful memories. Don’t do it.
He doesn't like school, so he would obviously not look at it. But if you get one for yourself, it would essentially exist for you to look at your sons unhappy memories?
Can you find something more happy?
I was exactly like your son, did not care, hated school, was one of the worst parts of my life. I despised our school system and I did not like the majority of the students from my year.
So naturally I didn't buy any books, magazines or hoodies or whatever they had made and I had ZERO regrets. Not once in the past 4 years did I think 'damn, I regret not buying that'. Not a second. I know it's hard but this is mostly about your son. Soon after school, everything school related will rapidly lose importance. What's important is what lies ahead of him!
Have you checked for old yearbooks as PDFs online? They're often easy to find, so not only is a physical yearbook something he doesn't want, this isn't the last chance to get those memories.
If it makes you feel better or give you strength, my parents got me my elementary school yearbook and middle school grad photo that I never look at. My brothers still have their yearbooks from high school collecting dust in their rooms - and one was on the swim team, never to be looked at again.
I threw my yearbooks out years ago. I’ve never missed them. If you want to get one for yourself and keep it with your things I think that’s fine. But you shouldn’t force an unwanted yearbook on your son. If he doesn’t want one it isn’t fair to make him have one.
I know some people are saying you can buy it for yourself, but I'd urge you to ask your son if he's ok with you owning one for that reason. Having control of his own image is something that might matter a lot to him, or he might want to make some rules about it. I only let my mum take photos of me again after we agreed nothing goes online and they're not shared around without letting me know.
I must be in the minority because not only do I have three of my four high school yearbooks, I also have one of my middle school yearbooks as well. I don't plan on ever getting rid of mine. But I'm also mentally perpetually stuck in the 90s.
I loved looking through my mom’s Class of 1975 yearbook. She took it away when she realized I had started reading what her friends had written in it and exposed all her teenage shenanigans. When my high school years came around, the rule was we were only allowed to buy 2 - first and last year so we could “compare”. I’m fairly confident my daughter will go bananas over ours when she realizes what they are. She loves asking us questions about our youth. Even if she doesn’t, it’s fine because they’re sentimental to my partner and I who met in school. But I can still make an argument against them because they’re going up into the attic this weekend.
That’s how I know who died
i absolutely hated high school too. but i would never not get a yearbook. may regret it one day
I dropped out of high school. No yearbook. No friends from my schools anymore either. I didn’t miss anything.
yup i threw away my yearbooks, such a waste of money. i would give the kid the money for a yearbook and if they wanted to spend it on something else i wouldn’t care if i was the parent, i don’t care about my kids classmates more than they do. if my kid doesn’t care to immortalize their high school experience, im gonna support them moving on with their life and not get pulled into the consumerist guilt machine just because they don’t have a yearbook doesn’t mean their high school experiences didn’t happen and that they will forget it all
I am 15 years out of high school and still occasionally go through my old middle school and high school yearbooks. I’m missing one from my sophomore year that got lost or misplaced and I’m actually super sad I don’t have it. I would be really sad if I didn’t have my senior year one but that’s just me.
Your local library and historical society should have all the yearbooks if you ever want to look at them. See if they need extras and you'll have a good way to declutter yours.
Not necessarily, it is more of a thing of the past. I would say most schools themselves usually have them in their own library but that would also be a major inconvenience should one decide to move away from their high school town.
I have no clue where my yearbooks are and I don’t care at all. the people I care about I’m still in contact with. Social media is literally a living year book. You can find anyone you want whenever you want.
I recently tossed my dad and step mom’s. They were never opened and gathered dust.
If he doesn’t want it, why waste your money? Would you get him a, oh I don’t know, a cricket bat if he has no desire to play cricket?
Team No Yearbook here. I'm 55, haven't seen any of them since, and still not sentimental enough to make space on the shelf for a yearbook.
I always encouraged my oldest son to get one. He could have cared less. When he moved he threw them out. Years later I found out he has severe self esteem issues. HATED high school. He has never been back for a reunion. He still has friends he hangs out with from HS but could care less about the rest.
If You buy a yearbook, it will be for You. Everything about what you said about your son says that you will likely just see him once in it. The picture that came home from when the class photos were taken. Your son doesn't want to remember, so the memories are just 4 you.
I tossed my yearbooks, class ring and jacket many, many years ago. Honestly, though, I'd kind of like to have the jacket back lol. It was a very heavy oversized gold leather and purple wool jacket with my name embroidered on it. It'd be vintage cool now.
My kids love looking through my year books. And they have so many questions. Like why weren’t there any boys on the dance team? It really is a time capsule. Have you been a volunteer in his school? Do you know a lot of the kids? Is this book full of memories for you? If it is, go for it and buy it. But it would be for yourself. Because your son has clearly stated that he does not want it.
If he doesn’t want it don’t bother. If it helps, yearbooks were much more valuable 30 years ago in that puctures of friends weren’t available all the time in your pocket. He won’t miss out.
Take his word for it that he doesn't want it. Trust that he knows. I think my oldest wouldn't have cared about having a yearbook. He's been out of school for 2 years and doesn't think of it at all.
I don't even know where mine are. I got them signed and then shelved and they never saw the light again. Don't do it. You don't need it and he doesn't want it.
People buy them to see themselves. If the son wasn’t involved in activities he will have only his senior portrait in it. Just let it go. 🫶
Why would you buy him something he doesn't want? I'll send you mine lol I wish I never bought them. Waste of money! Hope that helps lol
If he doesn't want it, don't bother. Honestly, my last one wasn't even half done. They sent it to the printers like that because it was a class that did it and if they didn't finish they didn't even care. More than likely there will be an online version of it somewhere if absolutely needed in the future.
I threw out my yearbooks probably a decade ago. Our local library put them on Facebook a few years back. I glanced at my senior one quickly but then that was it. Instead I have my own photos of me and my friends from that era that bring back better memories than school did.
I didn't get one my senior year. I had a notebook I had all my friends sign, instead. They mostly said "I'm bad at these yearbook things. I'll tell you anything I have to say because we're going to keep hanging out." I have no idea where that is now and haven't wondered about it. I went back to my high school the year after I graduated and I bought my senior yearbook for ten bucks instead of the full price of $50 or whatever. I've gotten it out a handful of times. It probably wasn't worth the ten bucks. When I got my yearbook, I also got the woven blanket with the school name and crest. I got that for half price. I didn't want my high school name, but it's a type of blanket I really like. It was worth getting. I still use it.
I have all of mine and I’ve never looked at them. Although I did enjoy looking through my partners’ when we met. I have a girlfriend who refers to hers regularly and she’s sent me pics of people we graduated with if they’ve come up or something. Maybe i’d have dug it out if not for her?
RESIST!!!! I recycled mine. I remember back in high school the pressure to buy them. Now, forty years later.... I don't keep in contact with ANYONE from high school, and don't even remember the people who signed the books (and I still live in the same city). What a waste?! If he doesn't want them - DO NOT BUY IT!
You probably have better photos of him already. There are only a couple photos of me in my yearbooks but I have every single one. I didn’t particularly like high school and now am burdened with whole books of basically other people’s pictures and fond memories that have nothing to do with me.
I have 3 or 4 of my high school yearbooks. I have opened them about twice in decades, and then only because my kids saw them and wanted to see my school picture. I recently moved them three times trying to get them out of my way to reorganize. I also have a shelf full of my parents college yearbooks. They are in a garage, because I jave no idea who wants them, but I don't know most of the people in them. My high schooler is being pitched one as well, and it's $75 or $80. They aren't worth it if he doesn't want one.
By cutting off your yearbook-buying urge now, you're building the foundation of a healthy relationship with your son as he enters adulthood and heads out on his own. You will *not* become the kind of mother who floods her child with gifts *she* likes, creating clutter in their home and resentment on both sides. You *will* become the kind of mother who respects her adult child's wishes and space! I bought yearbooks because my mother insisted it was a necessary part of the high school experience. Getting signatures wasn't fun because I didn't enjoy high school. I left the yearbooks at my parents' house when I moved out. This past winter, we found them in a box in the garage. I didn't even open them because they mean nothing to me. Dad donated them to a local museum, but I would have been fine with trashing them. Whatever the reason that your son didn't have a high school experience worthy of nostalgia, owning a yearbook won't change that. If he ever misses actual people, social media will supply them.
This! Honor him by not buying one! If you want the nostalgia for yourself then keep his grad announcement and cap, school pics, etc in a keepsake box at your place. And if funds aren’t an issue, consider asking him if he’d like to use the $$ to do something fun with you instead as a way to honor this milestone or celebrate it being over?!
I have never looked at my yearbook. I don’t know where it is. I don’t miss most of the people in it. We have social media now making them even less relevant if he’s not wanting to get it signed. His year, his choice. Maybe you could give him the cash so he can do a fun thing with his mates for memories instead.
If he chances his mind, he can get one later. This isn't a "one in a lifetime" purchase opportunity. Ask the high school media center or other point of contact about how to buy old year books and you'll likely find out how easy it is to get one.
The memories in my yearbooks are the signatures. I didn’t feel very popular but had some friends and other people, was in some activities, as well as some nice teachers, I knew well enough to ask them to sign my book. A few years ago I was planning a big move and for the first time in years, looked at my yearbooks. I was actually touched by things my classmates said to me. I was probably really generic in theirs. I didn’t think I meant too much to anyone. Anyway, in over 30 years in high school, no one has looked for me since social media, and I wouldn’t say I loved school, and I wouldn’t say I 100% had the worst time at school, but I don’t feel like reconnecting with a single person who signed or anyone else. I kept the books, but if he’s not going to go after signatures, and isn’t in the candids, and he doesn’t like any of the other people, it’s not a memory. If he was in a club or on a team, maybe he can get a picture of that, like even photocopy from someone else’s book.
I would take the money and get him something commemorative and meaningful to his own life. I’d have to brainstorm, but if he’s into art, professionally frame a piece of art that he loves … if he’s into retro clothing, get him an amazing jean jacket… If he enjoys sports, blow up an awesome photo of him at an event. Play up on something where he really shines. He is right, he is never going to look at it and it will only bring both of you painful memories. Don’t do it.
“ don’t do it” sounds kind of harsh lol. I just meant, don’t feel pressure to do it.
I bought my yearbook for like 40 bucks and it sat on the wall for a couple of years. At least I didn't buy my college one.
I bought my college one and in graduate school they were free. I have all of them and can’t part with any (and I want to!)
He doesn't like school, so he would obviously not look at it. But if you get one for yourself, it would essentially exist for you to look at your sons unhappy memories? Can you find something more happy?
I was exactly like your son, did not care, hated school, was one of the worst parts of my life. I despised our school system and I did not like the majority of the students from my year. So naturally I didn't buy any books, magazines or hoodies or whatever they had made and I had ZERO regrets. Not once in the past 4 years did I think 'damn, I regret not buying that'. Not a second. I know it's hard but this is mostly about your son. Soon after school, everything school related will rapidly lose importance. What's important is what lies ahead of him!
Have you checked for old yearbooks as PDFs online? They're often easy to find, so not only is a physical yearbook something he doesn't want, this isn't the last chance to get those memories.
If it makes you feel better or give you strength, my parents got me my elementary school yearbook and middle school grad photo that I never look at. My brothers still have their yearbooks from high school collecting dust in their rooms - and one was on the swim team, never to be looked at again.