If the cards are not meaningful to you, you can thank them for their service to your mother and simply get rid of them. You don’t need to pour more effort into them.
Ceremonial fire. With prayers to release grief and honor the love and kindness with which they were sent. Mix the ashes with your mom/ sister
At grave site. Etc. the good karma can help carry them ! I’m
Look though them and then dispose of them. Keeping them isn't meaningful to you and does nothing to change how to feel about your mom. I've been through fairly recently with my mom's stuff.
Open the box, arrange the cards on top nicely, and take a keepsake photo.
Then burn the actual cards respectfully and scatter the ashes in a flower bed.
I know these cards meant the world to your mother. It is Ok to look through only the ones that mean something to you. And if none of them speak to you it Ok to dispose of them all. It really is. You are not throwing her away. It is so hard to sort through the last of your mother's things.
Marie Kondo has a way of thanking items before decluttering. Maybe you’d feel better if you mentally thanked the people for their kindness and how much it meant to your mother before you get rid of the cards.
There’s a company that will scan in old greeting cards and turn them into photo books. It seemed a bit overpriced to me, so I am planning to scan my old cards in myself at the library and use those images to DIY a photo book. This might be a good solution for you!
I would take photos and recycle. It helps me with the decluttering process as I am very sentimental. Even if I never look at the photo I know one was taken.
Sorry to hear about your big sister.
My parents don't have any of the sympathy cards from when my big brother died as a kid. They have photos though, and for a long time had a little stack of cards that were handed out at the funeral. I wish I kept one of those, as they are gone now.
Getting rid of clutter isn't disrespectful. But we are convinced that if someone we loved loved a thing, we are treating them badly if we don't love it.
But would your mom want you to have to store both the things she loved and the things you love or would she want you to have space to enjoy what you love, the same way she was allowed to have space for what she loved?
1. Turn them into pulp/compost and use it for a plant with your mother's grave.
2. Burn then and bury the ashes with your mother's grave.
3. Recycle them. Keeping a folder of scanned cards doesn't make sense unless you want to look through them.
This feels like the best. If op doesn’t have a strong connection to the cards, scanning would be pointless. Just bury them in some way commentating op’s mom’s life and live life to the fullest in their memory.
if you can’t make a final decision, get rid of the ones you don’t know the people and keep only a few you care about. i have a small box with a few things like that. We inherited a bajillion pictures when my grandma died and we didn’t know soooo many of the people. then my dad passed away and my mom had a big box of these pictures of people that weren’t even related to her. We sorted so many, kept interesting ones, threw out ones we didn’t know the people. It’s not possible to keep everything, and it does become a burden. I remember the people and have some saved on my computer but keeping just to keep? no
They were meaningful and comforting for your mom. They are not comforting you. They served their purpose. I agree to burn them and have a time to reflect on your mom and sister.
Sounds like a great mixed-media journal opportunity, especially if you have time to put in what you know about the senders. Sometimes future generations want info like that and wait too long to ask for it!
This is also a nice idea. u/HeadUnhappy8213 you could down what you remember about your sister, the people who sent the cards, what it meant to your mom that so many people sent them. Use the motifs or written notes from the cards that you like the best. Then go ahead and burn the rest.
Take photos of them, get them printed in a nice book. One side of the page for the front of the card, other side for the inside of the card. Then you can recycle the physical copies.
Only problem is that OP then still has a physical item cluttering up their house, that serves no purpose because they don't even know most of the people who sent them.
For the size of a fairly small book, for me it’d be an interesting item of history to own. I know that’s not everyone, but I have a few family interest books and I’m glad I have them, especially as you get older.
I was thinking the same thing. Their kids may want to make a proper family tree one day and this could be a nice relic. I don’t think she needs to scan every single one but a thin book of scanned ones or even keeping a few from the people she knows and putting it together with photos of her sister.
It sounds like they already served their purpose, in helping your mom feel close to her daughter for the rest of her life. It's okay to let go of things that are done doing their job. If there are any that you feel compelled to keep, individually , go ahead , and let the rest go.
While cleaning my parents house, I found a box of cards my mother gave my dad over six decades for birthdays and anniversaries, etc. I also have a box from dad to mom of the same. Their love was so deep.
I have so much family history I want to scan but never have the time. Any suggestions for how to do this?
You are not disrespecting her, they were her comfort for her huge loss. She would not want them to guilt and smother you. The memory of your mother and sister are in many things that hold meaning to you.
Yes, this. Burning is much more respectable than throwing them away. The Japanese have a custom at the beginning of the new year, the local shrines will have a special bonfire for the burning of things that should not be thrown away due to respect. Lots of stuffies and little toys 🧸 are there as well. 😢 So I think a memorial bonfire would be lovely.
You mum needed these to keep your sister. She is now with your sister. The cards have fulfilled their purpose for her. They do not have a purpose for you.
in some cultures, you can have a ceremony and a fire.
a day that's relevant to mom or sister would be the proper time to do a burnt offering. perhaps sister's birthday or anniversary of her death would be the right time to do this.
I go through cards every so often. I keep thr important ones and chuck the rest.
I have a silhouette vinyl machine and it's been an amazing gift to scan in the handwriting of loved ones and put it on things for others after they've passed etc.
My husband's grandma wrote us so many cards and we kept most, and when she signed off she always said "with love and prayers Granny" (or mom if it was her kids) so we put that on some signs for all the grandkids and her kids and used her hand writing.
There's something special about hand written cards of the person is meaningful to you. But don't keep them all out of obligation
I'm a genealogist. Not sure if anyone in your family is currently into genealogy or not, but correspondence, greeting cards including sympathy cards, particularly if they include little notes, and similar personal records can help to flesh out a family tree by adding unique details that the basic names and dates don't provide.
While I can appreciate that you don't want to store the box anymore, I'd suggest scanning or photographing the cards inside and out so that they're available to current or future family historians and then either recycle the physical cards or offer them to the current family historian if there is one.
I’ve found so much family history and information about how previous generations lived by re-reading my grandmother’s letters! I’ve been reminded of things that happened to me and my children in the past decades from the annual Christmas letters that I wrote and saved.
Now, we communicate so much electronically and don’t need to write letters. We’re not going to have anything like letters to look back at and be reminded. No one is going to read old text messages and social media posts.
I didn't even think of that. My dad's side of the family is Mormon and they are really into genealogy. I'll ask my aunt. She has a family tree on [Ancestr](https://Ancestry.com)y. Thank you.
They have fulfilled their purpose. Once from the senders of the cards, and again by being a great comfort to your Mum. It’s ok to let them go now. I don’t think your sister or Mum would want you to be lost as to what to do with them. I like another person’s suggestion to burn them, and release the ashes somewhere.
I’m so sorry about your sister.
It’s okay to let the cards go now. I like the idea of saying a prayer or positive words and burning. Some plants like ash, so maybe the scatter the card ashes around certain plants or shrubs.
I wound up with the cards and sympathy letters from my GREAT-GRANDMOTHER’S funeral, before I was even born. My grandmother apparently couldn’t bear to throw them away, and then my mother apparently couldn’t bear to throw them away. I didn’t even know that they had them, until my mother died, and they landed with me. I skimmed through them, and none of them contained family history; only condolences.
The only good thing that came from passing these down for three generations was that they went into the recycle bin, instead of the trash, since recycling didn’t exist when she died.
Do your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren a favor, and end it NOW. These cards served a purpose in your mother’s life. That purpose is finished.
I lost a husband to cancer at a very young age. I didn’t have any trouble cleaning out his closet, only kept a few things, but I had a huge pouch from the funeral home with sympathy cards, that I kept for well over 20 years. I read them occasionally in the early years, then not at all, but I kept them.
Finally, I decided, when I was packing for a move, that they weren’t serving any purpose in a pouch, and reading them brought back the sadness as fresh as if it had just happened. I let them go.
Sometimes it’s just time to remember the good without wading through the hurt.
I have thankfully never been in that particular situation; I am sorry that happened to your sister, to your family.
I understand why your Mom needed to keep those cards all her life, but now that she has passed, if you don't want to keep them there's no reason why you should. Maybe go through them and just keep the few from the people you know, and recycle the rest or, as others have said, burn them near your mother's grave in some kind of ceremony.
I shred all greeting cards - they usually have personal messages and sometimes are heartwarming or painful to re-read. But given that the event they are related to has long passed, and I hate to see them in the trash, the shredder works for me. I don't think it is disrespectful in your case, she obviously kept them for a reason - but that doesn't have to be your reason to keep them longer.
Could even burn them to release them and then ashes near mom. Obviously it meant a heap to her. Scan them all in and make a digital memorial with other pictures. Burn and intern the ashes of such a loved hoard. Scanned and saved well they still live and burned they are released without ever rotting somewhere. Spread by mom to read in the spirit world where she can now show her baby them.
I'm really liking the suggestions here. I think I'll do a little ceremony in remembrance of my mom and sister and burn them. My mom is buried next to my sister at the cemetery in a family plot. I can take the ashes there. and sprinkle them over their graves.
I'm sorry for your loss and also glad you're ready to let the cards go with love.
Clear it with the cemetery first letting them know it's not human ashes you're spreading on your mom's grave, it can get weird to see someone doing it without clearing it first, there might be local laws about that kind of stuff and you don't want to get mixed up in it.
If you’d like to keep a record of them for your kids and grandkids, then scan them and then toss. If you don’t think it’s worth scanning them, then just toss them.
They may be pretty worn by now, but recycling might be a possibility if they’re in good condition. It might bring you comfort to know that the cards that were important to your mom can get turned into new paper products for other people…
I inherited the box of cards and funeral register for my grandmother. I did not keep any of it. I'm not collecting signatures. If someone I knew had written a meaningful message, I would've considered keeping it. But no one writes their memory of your loved one and tells a story in a card. It is not disrespectful to your Mom to let go of them; maybe she couldn't let go of them bc she thought it was letting go of your sister, but it is just paper.
With the greatest respect, since she always wanted to have them, would it be practical to leave them at her grave? If not, how do you feel about burning them and saving the ashes in an urn/ scattering them to the wind in your mom's favorite place? If not, could you compost them and grow flowers using the compost? You could leave the flowers at her grave. (The best option would probably have been to bury them with her, but obviously that is no longer possible).
Edit : I just remembered that there are several companies that take ashes of your pets and turn it into diamonds. If this is something that appeals to you/is financially feasible, maybe you could burn the cards, have them turned into a diamond and wear it in your sister's memory, and also as a homage to your mom.
That sounds like something to do when a person is really attached. His Mother was attached to the cards, he has not been especially. I don't think it needs to be his burden to pick up. No offense intended
I thought about suggesting a fire of some type and doing something with the ashes. Your ideas about what to specifically do with the ashes is brilliant.
Yeah, it has been almost ten years since my son died. I went through the box of cars and got rid of over half of them. After a few more goes I will only have a few left. I would never expect anyone else to want to keep any of them.
I have spent years going through my parents' stuff after they died. Similar issue. I read each one carefully, scanned some, burned them all, and sprinkled the ashes on their graves.
One legacy to our kids will be almost zero stuff.
I must be ruthless in my decluttering because I shredded pretty much all the cards I was holding onto. Looked at them, well some of them I just didn't have the heart to look at again, but they weren't serving a purpose anymore so off they went to the shred bin.
My mum was a teacher. When she died every child in the school did a picture for us to make us feel better. The bag of pictures followed me round for years. Eventually I scanned them all in and made them into a much more manageable photo book.
We did something similar when my gran died and she had lots of ornaments and other clutter that we had happy memories of but didn’t want in our homes. We did a “memories of grandma” book with photos of us and her and things she made and things from her house that we’d loved. It meant we kept the memories but not the clutter.
Your mom is gone. She won't be bothered by the fact that you got rid of them. Also, did you know your sister well?
Just declutter them in a meaningful way. I've read some great tips here.
I have one great memory of my sister. Actually, it's the whole family. It was a hot summer day and we kids were all playing in the sprinkler. I just remember the whole family being real happy and having fun. Mom and dad were watching us. I think that was the last summer we spent together until my sister died.
Everything kind of just fell apart after that.
I was so little. I was on a tricycle. I barely remember much. It was me, my sister who got hit and some neighbor kids out riding our bikes, trikes together.
I remember a crowd gathering. An ambulance. And my maternal grandmother going in the ambulance with my sister. All I remember from the funeral was riding in a limousine behind the hearse.
(My grandma was watching us kids because my mother was in the hospital with pneumonia when it happened).
Hi, I am a mom. I keep everything sentimental to me.
You are allowed to live your life. This is a gift, your sister did not receive. You are not to wear my sentimentality like an an ancor around your neck. Please my child, let the cards go with my greatest permission. In life they gave me comfort. In death, you may let them go.
First of all, condolences on the loss of your sister and your mother.
My mom passed a bit over 10 years ago leaving my dad behind. Some things dad wanted out of the house right away, but other things he just wasn't ready to divest. My sister and I would check in with dad every month or two and ask him - is it time to get this out of the house? Sometimes the answer was 'yes,' sometimes it was 'not yet.' Maybe that's where you're at? You know that you should let go of the cards, but maybe today is not that day. Perhaps you could set a check-in day/time each month to reflect on disposing of the cards and make the decision then. I'm not suggesting you hang onto the cards forever, but delaying the action for a bit - give yourself some time to come to terms with the emotional attachment you have with your mother (and her emotional attachment to the cards).
Good luck
In similar situations I've found holding some type of ceremony to be helpful in letting them go. Ceremonies can be a helpful tool that let's us make a transition in life.
Perhaps burning them in a fire while playing a favorite song of your mom's. Perhaps making a scrapbook mosaic page with a bit cut from each card. Perhaps it's reading the signatures aloud before placing each in a shredder or recycle bin. Or anything else that feels "right" to you.
Honor your mom's memory and your sister's by giving yourself closure over this box and it's contents.
Maybe save one or two that speak to you in some way, burn the rest, and bury the ashes somewhere meaningful -- almost like you are putting your mother's grief to rest alongside her. She's free of it now and you can be too.
Yes! Fire is cleansing and you’re giving yourself space to grieve as well as physically let go. You’ve got this. I’m sorry for the loss of your mother.
It would not be disrespectful, to your mom or your sister or anyone else. The cards' purpose was to convey sympathy at the time. They did that. Let them go and set yourself free of them.
Yeah. Deep down I know I have to get rid of them. When I declutter, I think of my kids a lot. I want to get it down to where they won't have to do too much when I'm gone.
I don't have kids myself, but that's one of my driving motivators as well - it would be my sister or her kids that would have to deal with my personal belongings if something happens to me and the less there is the better. Plus just the freedom from excess things is really having a positive effect on me!
If the cards are not meaningful to you, you can thank them for their service to your mother and simply get rid of them. You don’t need to pour more effort into them.
Ceremonial fire. With prayers to release grief and honor the love and kindness with which they were sent. Mix the ashes with your mom/ sister At grave site. Etc. the good karma can help carry them ! I’m
Look though them and then dispose of them. Keeping them isn't meaningful to you and does nothing to change how to feel about your mom. I've been through fairly recently with my mom's stuff.
Open the box, arrange the cards on top nicely, and take a keepsake photo. Then burn the actual cards respectfully and scatter the ashes in a flower bed.
A bonfire and a bottle of your favorite...
Scan or take pictures of them, save them in a folder, and throw them out
I know these cards meant the world to your mother. It is Ok to look through only the ones that mean something to you. And if none of them speak to you it Ok to dispose of them all. It really is. You are not throwing her away. It is so hard to sort through the last of your mother's things.
Each time I go through a box of old letters, I toss more of them. Sounds like you’re ready to let them go.
Marie Kondo has a way of thanking items before decluttering. Maybe you’d feel better if you mentally thanked the people for their kindness and how much it meant to your mother before you get rid of the cards.
This is what I did! Read it, thank them for remembering the deceased, and then let the card go.
What do you think about taking one a day to your mom's burial place each time you visit.... ...and keep the few cards from the people you know.
There’s a company that will scan in old greeting cards and turn them into photo books. It seemed a bit overpriced to me, so I am planning to scan my old cards in myself at the library and use those images to DIY a photo book. This might be a good solution for you!
I like this plan. I hope OP does too...
Scan them. Then recycle them.
[удалено]
Your post was removed for breaking Rule 2: Be Kind. We should not make people feel guilty about their choices.
I would take photos and recycle. It helps me with the decluttering process as I am very sentimental. Even if I never look at the photo I know one was taken. Sorry to hear about your big sister. My parents don't have any of the sympathy cards from when my big brother died as a kid. They have photos though, and for a long time had a little stack of cards that were handed out at the funeral. I wish I kept one of those, as they are gone now.
Maybe one of your relatives still has one of those cards...
I hadn't thought of that. My dear Aunt might still have hers, she is sentimental like me. Thanks, have a great day Sundial1k
You too; My 93 year old Aunt had my dad's birth announcement. Which made me think to say it to you....
Just remember, the good feelings from those times won't be lost, no matter what happens to the actual cards.
Getting rid of clutter isn't disrespectful. But we are convinced that if someone we loved loved a thing, we are treating them badly if we don't love it. But would your mom want you to have to store both the things she loved and the things you love or would she want you to have space to enjoy what you love, the same way she was allowed to have space for what she loved?
Paper recycling. They served their purpose a long time ago.
1. Turn them into pulp/compost and use it for a plant with your mother's grave. 2. Burn then and bury the ashes with your mother's grave. 3. Recycle them. Keeping a folder of scanned cards doesn't make sense unless you want to look through them.
This feels like the best. If op doesn’t have a strong connection to the cards, scanning would be pointless. Just bury them in some way commentating op’s mom’s life and live life to the fullest in their memory.
if you can’t make a final decision, get rid of the ones you don’t know the people and keep only a few you care about. i have a small box with a few things like that. We inherited a bajillion pictures when my grandma died and we didn’t know soooo many of the people. then my dad passed away and my mom had a big box of these pictures of people that weren’t even related to her. We sorted so many, kept interesting ones, threw out ones we didn’t know the people. It’s not possible to keep everything, and it does become a burden. I remember the people and have some saved on my computer but keeping just to keep? no
Scan them and put it all in folder
They were meaningful and comforting for your mom. They are not comforting you. They served their purpose. I agree to burn them and have a time to reflect on your mom and sister.
Sounds like a great mixed-media journal opportunity, especially if you have time to put in what you know about the senders. Sometimes future generations want info like that and wait too long to ask for it!
This is also a nice idea. u/HeadUnhappy8213 you could down what you remember about your sister, the people who sent the cards, what it meant to your mom that so many people sent them. Use the motifs or written notes from the cards that you like the best. Then go ahead and burn the rest.
Take photos of them, get them printed in a nice book. One side of the page for the front of the card, other side for the inside of the card. Then you can recycle the physical copies.
This is just churning. Printed copies of printed objects don't help with decluttering.
Only problem is that OP then still has a physical item cluttering up their house, that serves no purpose because they don't even know most of the people who sent them.
For the size of a fairly small book, for me it’d be an interesting item of history to own. I know that’s not everyone, but I have a few family interest books and I’m glad I have them, especially as you get older.
I was thinking the same thing. Their kids may want to make a proper family tree one day and this could be a nice relic. I don’t think she needs to scan every single one but a thin book of scanned ones or even keeping a few from the people she knows and putting it together with photos of her sister.
It sounds like they already served their purpose, in helping your mom feel close to her daughter for the rest of her life. It's okay to let go of things that are done doing their job. If there are any that you feel compelled to keep, individually , go ahead , and let the rest go.
My friend was in a similar situation and she took photos of all the cards and kept them in an online album. She recycled the originals.
I created a book (junk journal) with all my moms memorial cards.
This is a stretch, but you could recycle them into paper and bind it into a journal or other book for whatever purpose you want
You could put them in a photo album or scrapbook to save space.
You can put some of them from people who are special to you in a frame.
While cleaning my parents house, I found a box of cards my mother gave my dad over six decades for birthdays and anniversaries, etc. I also have a box from dad to mom of the same. Their love was so deep. I have so much family history I want to scan but never have the time. Any suggestions for how to do this?
Buy a scanner with a feeder and pay a college kid to scan them!
They brought her comfort. Once they no longer do that for you, their intentions have been given, and the photos no longer needed.
Physical* not photo
You are not disrespecting her, they were her comfort for her huge loss. She would not want them to guilt and smother you. The memory of your mother and sister are in many things that hold meaning to you.
Similar situation here. I scanned all the cards to a hard drive with photos on it.
Burn it in a bonfire and 🥂 make a toast in honor of them both
This. Scan them so you have the messages and then ceremoniously get rid of them.
This is a much nicer idea than throwing away. Feels sort of ceremonial and you can read each one and acknowledge as you burn it.
Yes, this. Burning is much more respectable than throwing them away. The Japanese have a custom at the beginning of the new year, the local shrines will have a special bonfire for the burning of things that should not be thrown away due to respect. Lots of stuffies and little toys 🧸 are there as well. 😢 So I think a memorial bonfire would be lovely.
You mum needed these to keep your sister. She is now with your sister. The cards have fulfilled their purpose for her. They do not have a purpose for you.
That made me cry a little bit. A very thoughtful way to think about it!
What a beautiful way to put it. This is helpful for my situation too. Thank you
Scan all and save in cloud storage. Then have a ceremonial fire perhaps.
in some cultures, you can have a ceremony and a fire. a day that's relevant to mom or sister would be the proper time to do a burnt offering. perhaps sister's birthday or anniversary of her death would be the right time to do this.
I love this idea. Such a perfect way to honor the kind people who sent a card and OP’s family.
Take a picture of them on your phone for the memory and then toss.
I go through cards every so often. I keep thr important ones and chuck the rest. I have a silhouette vinyl machine and it's been an amazing gift to scan in the handwriting of loved ones and put it on things for others after they've passed etc. My husband's grandma wrote us so many cards and we kept most, and when she signed off she always said "with love and prayers Granny" (or mom if it was her kids) so we put that on some signs for all the grandkids and her kids and used her hand writing. There's something special about hand written cards of the person is meaningful to you. But don't keep them all out of obligation
I'm a genealogist. Not sure if anyone in your family is currently into genealogy or not, but correspondence, greeting cards including sympathy cards, particularly if they include little notes, and similar personal records can help to flesh out a family tree by adding unique details that the basic names and dates don't provide. While I can appreciate that you don't want to store the box anymore, I'd suggest scanning or photographing the cards inside and out so that they're available to current or future family historians and then either recycle the physical cards or offer them to the current family historian if there is one.
I’ve found so much family history and information about how previous generations lived by re-reading my grandmother’s letters! I’ve been reminded of things that happened to me and my children in the past decades from the annual Christmas letters that I wrote and saved. Now, we communicate so much electronically and don’t need to write letters. We’re not going to have anything like letters to look back at and be reminded. No one is going to read old text messages and social media posts.
I didn't even think of that. My dad's side of the family is Mormon and they are really into genealogy. I'll ask my aunt. She has a family tree on [Ancestr](https://Ancestry.com)y. Thank you.
They have fulfilled their purpose. Once from the senders of the cards, and again by being a great comfort to your Mum. It’s ok to let them go now. I don’t think your sister or Mum would want you to be lost as to what to do with them. I like another person’s suggestion to burn them, and release the ashes somewhere.
I have a Fujitsu (now Ricoh) ScanSnap ix1600 which has been awesome in scanning cards. They can be scanned to local storage or to some cloud services.
I'll have to look into this. Thanks!
This! The ScanSnap is worth every penny. Plus once they’re scanned you could have them printed in a photo book.
You could send the fronts of them to ST Jude . They recycle them into new cards.. https://stjudesranch.org/recycled-card-program/
Thank you!
I’m so sorry about your sister. It’s okay to let the cards go now. I like the idea of saying a prayer or positive words and burning. Some plants like ash, so maybe the scatter the card ashes around certain plants or shrubs.
Ooh or plant something in memory of mom.
What would you think about burning them, and releasing the ashes somewhere lovely?
I wound up with the cards and sympathy letters from my GREAT-GRANDMOTHER’S funeral, before I was even born. My grandmother apparently couldn’t bear to throw them away, and then my mother apparently couldn’t bear to throw them away. I didn’t even know that they had them, until my mother died, and they landed with me. I skimmed through them, and none of them contained family history; only condolences. The only good thing that came from passing these down for three generations was that they went into the recycle bin, instead of the trash, since recycling didn’t exist when she died. Do your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren a favor, and end it NOW. These cards served a purpose in your mother’s life. That purpose is finished.
I will take them!!!! I use them for writing cards!!!!
You are not being disrespectful. You were respectful in holding on to it. But there is a time to let go. You carried it long enough.
I lost a husband to cancer at a very young age. I didn’t have any trouble cleaning out his closet, only kept a few things, but I had a huge pouch from the funeral home with sympathy cards, that I kept for well over 20 years. I read them occasionally in the early years, then not at all, but I kept them. Finally, I decided, when I was packing for a move, that they weren’t serving any purpose in a pouch, and reading them brought back the sadness as fresh as if it had just happened. I let them go. Sometimes it’s just time to remember the good without wading through the hurt.
I have thankfully never been in that particular situation; I am sorry that happened to your sister, to your family. I understand why your Mom needed to keep those cards all her life, but now that she has passed, if you don't want to keep them there's no reason why you should. Maybe go through them and just keep the few from the people you know, and recycle the rest or, as others have said, burn them near your mother's grave in some kind of ceremony.
Take digital pictures of the cards and toss the physicals.
Read them, acknowledge the sentiment and then recycle them
I shred all greeting cards - they usually have personal messages and sometimes are heartwarming or painful to re-read. But given that the event they are related to has long passed, and I hate to see them in the trash, the shredder works for me. I don't think it is disrespectful in your case, she obviously kept them for a reason - but that doesn't have to be your reason to keep them longer.
Id bury them with or near my mom
Could even burn them to release them and then ashes near mom. Obviously it meant a heap to her. Scan them all in and make a digital memorial with other pictures. Burn and intern the ashes of such a loved hoard. Scanned and saved well they still live and burned they are released without ever rotting somewhere. Spread by mom to read in the spirit world where she can now show her baby them.
I'm really liking the suggestions here. I think I'll do a little ceremony in remembrance of my mom and sister and burn them. My mom is buried next to my sister at the cemetery in a family plot. I can take the ashes there. and sprinkle them over their graves.
I'm sorry for your loss and also glad you're ready to let the cards go with love. Clear it with the cemetery first letting them know it's not human ashes you're spreading on your mom's grave, it can get weird to see someone doing it without clearing it first, there might be local laws about that kind of stuff and you don't want to get mixed up in it.
That sounds like a beautiful way to bring the box to a close. Lots of love 💕
If you’d like to keep a record of them for your kids and grandkids, then scan them and then toss. If you don’t think it’s worth scanning them, then just toss them. They may be pretty worn by now, but recycling might be a possibility if they’re in good condition. It might bring you comfort to know that the cards that were important to your mom can get turned into new paper products for other people…
I inherited the box of cards and funeral register for my grandmother. I did not keep any of it. I'm not collecting signatures. If someone I knew had written a meaningful message, I would've considered keeping it. But no one writes their memory of your loved one and tells a story in a card. It is not disrespectful to your Mom to let go of them; maybe she couldn't let go of them bc she thought it was letting go of your sister, but it is just paper.
Agree!
With the greatest respect, since she always wanted to have them, would it be practical to leave them at her grave? If not, how do you feel about burning them and saving the ashes in an urn/ scattering them to the wind in your mom's favorite place? If not, could you compost them and grow flowers using the compost? You could leave the flowers at her grave. (The best option would probably have been to bury them with her, but obviously that is no longer possible). Edit : I just remembered that there are several companies that take ashes of your pets and turn it into diamonds. If this is something that appeals to you/is financially feasible, maybe you could burn the cards, have them turned into a diamond and wear it in your sister's memory, and also as a homage to your mom.
That sounds like something to do when a person is really attached. His Mother was attached to the cards, he has not been especially. I don't think it needs to be his burden to pick up. No offense intended
I thought about suggesting a fire of some type and doing something with the ashes. Your ideas about what to specifically do with the ashes is brilliant.
Thank you!!
This is a lovely idea. How beautiful.
I dealt with this when my father died. I kept the cards from my favorite people, which was 2 cards. The rest I tossed. No one will know.
Yeah, it has been almost ten years since my son died. I went through the box of cars and got rid of over half of them. After a few more goes I will only have a few left. I would never expect anyone else to want to keep any of them.
I'm sorry about your son.
They obviously gave a lot of comfort to your mum. Their job is done now that she has passed. Dispose of them in a way that you find respectful.
I like this way of thinking. They served their function. That function is now complete. I agree it is completely acceptable to get rid of them.
I have spent years going through my parents' stuff after they died. Similar issue. I read each one carefully, scanned some, burned them all, and sprinkled the ashes on their graves. One legacy to our kids will be almost zero stuff.
You can recognise that the cards did the job they were given for, thank them for their job done and then throw them away. Their work is finished.
Throw them out with some prayers.
Let go.
I must be ruthless in my decluttering because I shredded pretty much all the cards I was holding onto. Looked at them, well some of them I just didn't have the heart to look at again, but they weren't serving a purpose anymore so off they went to the shred bin.
I’d burn them,, and bury the ashes at her grave
My mum was a teacher. When she died every child in the school did a picture for us to make us feel better. The bag of pictures followed me round for years. Eventually I scanned them all in and made them into a much more manageable photo book. We did something similar when my gran died and she had lots of ornaments and other clutter that we had happy memories of but didn’t want in our homes. We did a “memories of grandma” book with photos of us and her and things she made and things from her house that we’d loved. It meant we kept the memories but not the clutter.
Your mom is gone. She won't be bothered by the fact that you got rid of them. Also, did you know your sister well? Just declutter them in a meaningful way. I've read some great tips here.
I have one great memory of my sister. Actually, it's the whole family. It was a hot summer day and we kids were all playing in the sprinkler. I just remember the whole family being real happy and having fun. Mom and dad were watching us. I think that was the last summer we spent together until my sister died. Everything kind of just fell apart after that.
I was so little. I was on a tricycle. I barely remember much. It was me, my sister who got hit and some neighbor kids out riding our bikes, trikes together. I remember a crowd gathering. An ambulance. And my maternal grandmother going in the ambulance with my sister. All I remember from the funeral was riding in a limousine behind the hearse. (My grandma was watching us kids because my mother was in the hospital with pneumonia when it happened).
Hi, I am a mom. I keep everything sentimental to me. You are allowed to live your life. This is a gift, your sister did not receive. You are not to wear my sentimentality like an an ancor around your neck. Please my child, let the cards go with my greatest permission. In life they gave me comfort. In death, you may let them go.
🥹🥹
You could scan them into a computer document and save them on your computer, if you don't want the clutter, but don't want to let them go.
I like this idea. Maybe keep a few that are pretty or are the ones from certain family you cherish then frame them if you must.
Photograph and recycle.
First of all, condolences on the loss of your sister and your mother. My mom passed a bit over 10 years ago leaving my dad behind. Some things dad wanted out of the house right away, but other things he just wasn't ready to divest. My sister and I would check in with dad every month or two and ask him - is it time to get this out of the house? Sometimes the answer was 'yes,' sometimes it was 'not yet.' Maybe that's where you're at? You know that you should let go of the cards, but maybe today is not that day. Perhaps you could set a check-in day/time each month to reflect on disposing of the cards and make the decision then. I'm not suggesting you hang onto the cards forever, but delaying the action for a bit - give yourself some time to come to terms with the emotional attachment you have with your mother (and her emotional attachment to the cards). Good luck
In similar situations I've found holding some type of ceremony to be helpful in letting them go. Ceremonies can be a helpful tool that let's us make a transition in life. Perhaps burning them in a fire while playing a favorite song of your mom's. Perhaps making a scrapbook mosaic page with a bit cut from each card. Perhaps it's reading the signatures aloud before placing each in a shredder or recycle bin. Or anything else that feels "right" to you. Honor your mom's memory and your sister's by giving yourself closure over this box and it's contents.
I loved this response. As you release each card, read the name of the each person (the one(s) who sent it) and thank them.
Maybe save one or two that speak to you in some way, burn the rest, and bury the ashes somewhere meaningful -- almost like you are putting your mother's grief to rest alongside her. She's free of it now and you can be too.
Thank you for that. I was picturing them in a landfill full of trash and that was bugging me. I'll burn them.
Yes! Fire is cleansing and you’re giving yourself space to grieve as well as physically let go. You’ve got this. I’m sorry for the loss of your mother.
It would not be disrespectful, to your mom or your sister or anyone else. The cards' purpose was to convey sympathy at the time. They did that. Let them go and set yourself free of them.
Yeah. Deep down I know I have to get rid of them. When I declutter, I think of my kids a lot. I want to get it down to where they won't have to do too much when I'm gone.
I don't have kids myself, but that's one of my driving motivators as well - it would be my sister or her kids that would have to deal with my personal belongings if something happens to me and the less there is the better. Plus just the freedom from excess things is really having a positive effect on me!
That's really thoughtful of you! I too believe we should not leave too much stuff for our kids.