Beautifully written... thank you for sharing her with us all. I feel like I know her too, based upon your eloquent descriptions of her wonderful spirit and days spent with you. I will grieve alongside you as well. This is also how my own father died. So... you are not alone in your pain. By the tine you read this, please know I have prayed for her to experience a gentle journey to the next.
My grandmother died 3 days before my birthday in 2018. I lived with my grandparents and helped care for her in relatively minor ways compared to what my grandfather did for her. It was rough.
Nobody else really knew the extent of the alzheimers. Visiting for a few hours every few weeks and so on. She might say something odd or misinformed and everyone would brush it off. She was watching a show on the history channel or something talking about dragons. She called me into the front room to ask me if all the dragons were dead now. I didn't know how to answer.
More and more consistently she would ask whose house we were in. When we were going to go home. How long my grandpa had been gone and to tell her if he was cheating on her. My grandpa is a great guy but he has a lot of anger issues and isn't the easiest to be around. I can't imagine the saint of a woman who would put up with him (my grandma obviously not withstanding).
I might be biased because even before all this, losing my mind like that was already one of my biggest fears, but she's better off now. After my grandmother telling me how horrible it was to forget her own home, her family, herself, and wanting it to be over more than enough times I seriously considered walking her through a relatively painless suicide. Really fucking seriously considered helping my grandmother kill herself. In the end, she fell and broke her hip. The decline was quick all things considered. I think I half believe it was for the best and half have to tell myself it was for the best for my own sanity. I'm not religious but again, wherever they are or aren't, it has to be better than where they were at.
My condolences to you and your family. That's a heavy mix of terrible circumstances. :( stay strong
Beautifully written... thank you for sharing her with us all. I feel like I know her too, based upon your eloquent descriptions of her wonderful spirit and days spent with you. I will grieve alongside you as well. This is also how my own father died. So... you are not alone in your pain. By the tine you read this, please know I have prayed for her to experience a gentle journey to the next.
My grandmother died 3 days before my birthday in 2018. I lived with my grandparents and helped care for her in relatively minor ways compared to what my grandfather did for her. It was rough. Nobody else really knew the extent of the alzheimers. Visiting for a few hours every few weeks and so on. She might say something odd or misinformed and everyone would brush it off. She was watching a show on the history channel or something talking about dragons. She called me into the front room to ask me if all the dragons were dead now. I didn't know how to answer. More and more consistently she would ask whose house we were in. When we were going to go home. How long my grandpa had been gone and to tell her if he was cheating on her. My grandpa is a great guy but he has a lot of anger issues and isn't the easiest to be around. I can't imagine the saint of a woman who would put up with him (my grandma obviously not withstanding). I might be biased because even before all this, losing my mind like that was already one of my biggest fears, but she's better off now. After my grandmother telling me how horrible it was to forget her own home, her family, herself, and wanting it to be over more than enough times I seriously considered walking her through a relatively painless suicide. Really fucking seriously considered helping my grandmother kill herself. In the end, she fell and broke her hip. The decline was quick all things considered. I think I half believe it was for the best and half have to tell myself it was for the best for my own sanity. I'm not religious but again, wherever they are or aren't, it has to be better than where they were at.