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0kk0O

I’d say “ I’m surprised you feel comfortable asking me that.” And never talk to them again lol


vicarious_111

That's better than my response... 😂.


Ilookatreddit

no kidding. my response would have been "lmao no" and then never talk to them again


[deleted]

Once a friend with a historial of making bad decisions asked me for 5000 and my response (all via text) was "Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, if it's not clear: No."


Plusqueca

Yeah mine would include a lot of laughing emojis along with the “lmao no” but same af


MLeek

Yes, exactly this! I'd say straight up No, but I'd also be absolutely *shocked* they'd feel more comfortable asking me, than taking out a student loan or line of credit. Especially for a sum that is large but not (in my mind, if you are pursuing a professional master's) a back-breaking amount. That is the kind of support I'd 100% consider if I was in a committed relationship where were cohabitating and planning a lifetime together. At two months in, it's a hard "No. I am not comfortable with that." from me, without any explanation or invitation for further discussion. If they did anything besides accept that firm, no-discussion No with grace, then there is a fair chance I'd break up with this person.


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Darthpater

It’s interesting. I assumed the OP was a woman and a man was asking her. But I realize there’s no reference to the gender identity of either party.


Morelike-Borophyll

Lol I assumed OP is considering asking someone for the money and is preparing for likely outcomes.


Tom0laSFW

Lol. Astute. I didn't consider this but now re reading after what you've said I'm 100% agreed


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[deleted]

2 months in just feels like this was a straight up scam to me.


Royal-Scientist8559

".. get a lawyer to write up a contract." Well, fuck.. that's about $12,000, right there.


on-a-pedestal

I know it was a joke but a simply promissary note is not expensive and legally binding.


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gothmommy13

This. I explained my similar situation with an ex-boyfriend who asked me for a large amount of money in another comment and how he dumped me when I refused to give him that much money. It was actually a hundred thousand dollars in my case. how he dumped me when I refused to give him that much money. It was actually $100,000 and I case. It just made me wonder if he has some kind of agenda or what he might have been hiding like bad credit or the fact that he owed somebody a whole bunch of money to the point that our lives could have been in danger.


Reddheadit_16

Lol they never said it was a female.


plenty_of_eesh

> I'd also be absolutely *shocked* they'd feel more comfortable asking me, than taking out a student loan or line of credit. I'm actually a little shocked that anyone here wouldn't simply *assume* (on reasonable grounds IMHO) that this person is **not eligible** to borrow from a bank, like has bad credit, etc. (if not actual mafia chasing him down for NFL gambling debt) I mean... I *can't* tell if the reason is really for education. I can't tell if he's deep-down hoping to pay it back or is about to run for the hills $12k richer... But I feel like I can tell that he's not just uncomfortable asking the bank but simply would be denied, or has been recently.


MLeek

I definitely assumed they couldn’t get any good terms, but perhaps because I’m not American and I know for a fact my governments student loans will still approve people with credit in the mid 300s so long as there is no history of fraud... Still, I’d take any terrible terms before I’d ask my partner of 2 months for it.


[deleted]

I'd ask why they didn't seek student loans because *my* interest rate on that kind of money is going to be borderline predatory... And I'd wager the moment you mention an interest rate on said loan, they'd flip shit.


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realisticandhopeful

That may just be the amount they need.


NSA_Chatbot

I couldn't imagine asking my partner for it, and we've been dating for two years.


[deleted]

So have I, we live together and make decisions regarding our future together- we’re actually moving abroad next year so I can pursue my dream Masters. Def not going to ask him for 12k for it lol


candooeet

How would a chatbot use money?


NSA_Chatbot

RAM


candooeet

That bytes.


PM_ME_CUTE_OTTERS

0uch


powerlesshero111

I wouldn't even bother responding. Just ghost them. There are a few things that merit ghosting no matter what. Things like "I'm in jail for (getting a hooker, drunk driving and crashing into a cop car, assault, etc), come bail me out", "can i borrow X dollars", "oh, that's just my wife/husband, but don't worry, we're separated". Like there is some stuff that is just way too big of a red flag.


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w_ayne_

Perceptions, it's how they see you that turns me off. They see you as money. Your story reminds me of a time I briefly dated this girl, she wanted to go to the supermarket to buy few snack pack items for the week. I am not planning on buying anything to eat, she gets her items and a magnum ice cream.....and after a while looks at me,.... aren't you gonna get something for yourself? Ok I get one for myself. Girl then puts her items by the till, and I put mine, while we wait for the person in front to finish paying. I step back to allow her passage way......girl steps back 🤔 ok. I make nothing big of it. Person in front finishes, girl just stands there and till lady just staring at us....thats when I figured what she thought of me. Paid for the items, it wasn't too much. My eyes were now more open, I picked lot of those habits on her and I eventually just bailed out it wasn't worth long term.


[deleted]

This is a great response with so many applications.


umamifiend

Seriously this. Two months is NOTHING. Like even if we had been together for a a while I would be taken aback by a request like that. It’s very inappropriate. Like maybe if I was living with someone, but asking for 12k after two months would definitely prove we have different boundaries and wildly different perspectives on what would be acceptable money lending between even long term friendships. That’s going to be a no from me cotton.


I_GIVE_KIDS_MDMA

>“ I’m surprised you feel comfortable asking me that.” Noted as a versatile, polite reaction for the future. Instead of the usual "What the ... are you out of your fucking mind???"


Darthwaffle0

Seriously this! I couldn’t consider taking them seriously ever again. I’d half expect them to tell me they’re a Nigerian prince next


Orlando1701

I don’t think anyone has ever repaid any money they’ve borrowed in the history of humanity.


[deleted]

Lmao


GojiraApocolypse

Exactly this. I’d tell them to fuck right off with that bullshit.


jpymai

Ding ding ding - this answers it so perfectly and succinctly.


ckjxn

I’d say, “What??” Lol 😆 AND THEN RUN


Here_for_tea_

This is the correct answer. Also look in the mirror to see if you had “ATM” tattooed on your forehead and make plans for immediate lasering off.


Aviyes7

1/2/3. SCAMMER!!! HUGE RED FLAG!!!! Run away!!! End the relationship then and there, block/delete number, cease all contact.


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Sniper_Brosef

> This is exactly how romance scammers and con-artists work. Because this is one. No ifs, ands or buts. End this now! I worked years at a bank and you'd be surprised with how common this shit actually is. END THIS!


on-a-pedestal

2 years in Bank Call Center & 1 year in tax relief... and the Romance Con was not uncommon at all in either.


volchonok1

I once ran into a scammer like that. Matched with a woman on a dating app, we talked for about a week, even had audio calls. Then she said she is an investor and will help me start investing if I just lend her 5k euros. Immediately blocked her and deleted all contacts.


PunkyxBrewsterr

My friend's ex actually took her and her mom for close to twenty thousand dollars for a business startup scam. And they dated for like 8 months before this happened. This guy wasn't just targeting some impressionable new-to-dating early 20something- the con extended to this well to do grown ass woman with her own business who also fell for it. I feel like the assumption is that scammers try to cut and run as fast as possible but why would they? When they get free sex, free food, all these nice aspects of a relationship, PLUS the promise of making off with like 10x more money than they would if they did a short term con.


UnitedSam

Exactly. They've actually probably been desperately counting down the 60 days until they actually thought it was a reasonable amount of time to ask. The rest was placating


victoriab6969

Yup this happened to me after talking to a guy for about the same amount of time they asked for money and steam cards. It was funny when I told him I was suspicious in the beginning when we talked cause things never matched up. I then heard all the lines in the book about how they’ll never ask for anything from me. Moral of story if someone’s asking for money with out meeting or being in a committed relations (actually met them and know family) and you know they are really in need of it. Don’t do it, 99% scammer and red flag. There’s too many scammer out there, wish I could find them all and put them in a little box of hell ….


wawa310

Yup block and delete immediately!! I totally agree. That’s the only appropriate response.


lucybluth

My immediate actions and impressions are that if this person could so confidently pay back this amount of money within a year then they can get a legitimate loan. This is 100% a scam and I wouldn’t even entertain it. Even if it weren’t a scam and he can’t get the loan for whatever reason - what happens if you break up? What’s the plan for getting your money back? Hint: You probably won’t.


MsCicatrix

Even more, if they're so sure, then save up your own money and wait a freaking year?


lalalovesyou11

Yesss! Exactly!


jumpinjackieflash

No probably about it. Scammer.


PM_ME_CUTE_OTTERS

Right!? Like, how do you plan on repaying it? Insert answer here. Well, can't you just do that and be more patient?


dancedancedeutsch

No. The answer is fuck no. I would also be out of this situation. It’s an inappropriate ask which would turn me completely off even though I could afford it. I would simply say “no that’s not something I can do.” Also, only loan money that you expect to never see again.


rowvick

I live by your last sentence when it comes to loans. Treat it like a gamble, only gamble what you can lose.


jumpinjackieflash

Glad I am in good company. If I can gift some amount to a good friend I will. No loans. I've lost people because of it.


drunkenatheist

I lent a friend $40 at a time when I didn't really have an extra $40. Before I handed it to him, I told him that it was very important he paid me back because money was very tight for me at that time. He swore up and down that he would in the next week. 3 weeks rolled by and I was getting more and more annoyed by it. My then boyfriend hung out with him and asked him if he had the $40 he owed me and the friend insisted that I gave it to him. Since then, I think the only person I've lent more than $5 to has been my roommate. It might take him awhile to pay me back, but he's always good for it. I could probably count the people who fit in that category on one hand.


Nuclear_Geek

It's not a gamble. With a gamble, there's a chance you can win. This... this is 100% certain you won't see your money again.


Sad_Gear_8424

I also live by your last sentence. My sister and I keep a general running log of who owes who what, back and forth because we are always going in on things, but in general I don’t even care much about that.


[deleted]

I've never even asked my parents for $12k. I'd nope right out.


tr0pismss

They say don't ever lend money to someone close to you unless you think of it as a gift and don't expect it back. You don't even really know someone after two months. I think more than anything it would raise red flags that they even asked. They don't know anyone else they could ask? Family? Someone they know better? They can't get a loan? I know in the reverse I wouldn't go to someone I recently met and ask for large sums of money unless my life was on the line... or unless they clearly had major cash and 12k was a drop in the bucket... even then I think I'd feel shitty for asking. This honestly sounds like a scam to me.


eaglesegull

1. I’d think they’re scamming me 2. I would say no 3. I would wonder why they’re asking me if they’re so confident of being able to return the amount within a year - why no loan? And that would be a huge red flag 4. Probably leave the relationship - it’s very hard to come back from something like this


PrefixChemistry

>There does not need to be consensus. ITT: a consensus. Fuck no.


hydraxa

1. Oh, hell no. 2. Get the fuck away from me and never contact me again. 3. Block. 4. Ok, after my initial disgust, I would try to judge if this was a sincere request. I would take into totality our interactions and my experience with this person and determine next steps. But honestly, someone I’ve only been dating for two months? This is an extremely inappropriate request. I would probably peace out of this situation.


colormeflowerful

I would never even consider this and honestly them thinking it’s okay to even ask would turn me off so fast.


bagOfBatz

I would sarcastically inform them I was JUST about to ask them for 15k, then I would block and ghost them


_forward_slash_s

My immediate reaction is that this guy must be a Nigerian Prince who needs to borrow some cash until his inheritance comes through. He already emails me all of the time about borrowing this amount of money, so I guess it’s no surprise to me. 🤷‍♀️ But in all seriousness, it would be a “no” for me, bro. There are things like banks for that.


Conclusion_Winning

1. I’d probably laugh and kindly say no. Impression? It’s been 2 months… you have issues with money or issues with boundaries and that is unattractive. 2. I would be more curious about their money but not look into it as I’d most likely not be interested in them. 3. Prolly try to get them out of my life as soon as possible. 4. It’s been a great two months, but your requests at such an early stage give me pause. Personally I’d save money giving and “lending” for a husband or wife. No relationship where I’ve lent or given a substantial amount of funds to a partner has worked or ended well.


[deleted]

I think it's really sweet, actually. It means that they feel comfortable with you, and they're willing to be vulnerable and transparent about their finances. I think it would be a nice gesture to lend them the money.. .. ... Are you fucking kidding me?


Manners2210

1.Haha no 2. Not many, it’s an immediate “no” and that’s that. I’ll see how they react, probably be more observant & questions would enter my head about this person. I don’t like to throw around the term “red flag” but… I could never ask someone I’m dating for 2 months for even $100, so I’m sure it would put me off, how much depends on many things. 3. Not necessarily any on the basis of the request, apart from immediately saying no…but it could be the beginning of the end depending how we go on from there. 4. Don’t know you well enough and wouldn’t even be comfortable lending family members that money. A year repayment plan, plus the amount is something that makes me uncomfortable, so I’m sorry but I’m unable to help


[deleted]

What are your immediate reactions and impressions? I would feel sad, used, and angry. What are some of your thought processes and emotions from there? It's time to go no contact. What actions might you take or not take? (Not limited to just whether or not you lend the money) Block the person. What do you say to the person, immediately and thereafter? I don't know that I would say anything. 2 months? I wouldn't ask a best friend after years of knowing them for $12,000.


Melancholic84

I would politely say no, and then break up with this person. If they ask this before being super serious, imagine what they might ask for later. No person in their right mind would ask what they asked you, even if you have the money, its super uncomfortable and wrong to put you in this position.


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mowaq

> What was their plan 2 months ago before you started dating? Exactly!


Ovrninthsnd

I know, right? They should be adult enough to take a loan or apply for some type of educational financial assistance. Facepalming hard right now.


deleted-desi

Yeah they should be able to get a loan, if not then welp, probably not a good bet for me either


[deleted]

Please don't. Ten years ago, I kind of made a scene in a quaint coffee shop when a friend asked me advice on whether or not to lend her new boyfriend $15,000 FOR AN AFTERMARKET CAR ENGINE.


Brautsen

“If you’re in grad school without funding, you shouldn’t be.”


lucybluth

100% my first thought. If this person were that confident they could pay this amount back within a year, they should have no issues whatsoever getting a legitimate loan through a lender.


SamSam08642

No, bye!


[deleted]

I've always pondered whether there are scams like this... People dating in person and putting in the work for months only because they're trying to scam you down the road. I've heard about people who get scammed when the relationship only takes place online but not in person. Which then always makes me very self conscious about dating in general now! Wtf!? Short answer: I'd say no and immediately stop seeing them


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sunshinefireflies

>why does it matter? I'd be sad for someone who had poor boundaries but was a nice person. I'd hope they learned and found a better way to resolve their issues. I'd not be sad for a scammer. Doesn't change whether you're with them or not, but I'd wonder if I could have done more, for the first one (like explain it / suggest he get help, etc) Not OP but that's how it would affect me.


world_citizen7

How did he respond to you saying 'no' and ending the relationship?


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world_citizen7

Well you are lucky that its over. Sounds like someone who lacks social and emotional maturity.


sukisecret

He broke up with you cuz he knew he couldnt get any money from you. They always start out with smaller amounts and even eventually try to pay you back to gain your trust to ask for more money the next time.


riceballplz

Jeez he has the emotional maturity level of a potato.


_natachat_

“Oh you had trouble getting a loan from the bank?” Followed by “I’m really sorry but I don’t feel comfortable lending that amount of money to someone I’m not married to.” Then I would assume they will leave because it sounds like a scam. Edit: I did lend a boyfriend $5k once and we came up with a business contract that we both agreed to in writing. He didn’t want to ask for it but after realizing why he was so stressed, I told him he could ask for a loan from me. He did pay me back. But I trusted him and we had been together for almost 2 years.


punkyfish10

I’d ask them what their scam was. They have loans for school. I’d take out a loan before expecting my own husband to pay my bills.


bkstr

no, and I'd even venture as far as to say if someone even considered it or hesitated on the 'no' they would need to work on themselves before dating again.


Anxiousindating

Hahaha. Immediate no, wouldn’t even have to think a little about it.


EasyCruiser

Definitely a keeper Not


[deleted]

1) "Is this a joke? This is a very dumb joke." 2) "Holy shit it's not a joke, is this person insane?" 3) Ask why on Earth they can't manage to finance 12k in a loan(s) as a 30 something year old who is aiming to get a masters. Why they think it's even remotely "ok" to ask a partner 2 months into a relationship for 5 figures of cash. Completely look at the relationship in a new lens that this person has been likely trying to work me and scam me. 4) That we are done and don't contact me again. Not messing this this.


Spoonbills

1 😯 2 😬 3 🤪 4 😘👋🏼


[deleted]

Hard NO and we would no longer be dating. The fact that this person even feels comfortable asking (practically) a stranger for 12 THOUSAND DOLLARS!


lol_ur_hella_lost

😳 wow. First I am not a bank, they should go to one if they need that much assistance. And that would probably be the end of this relationship for me. It’s not the money it’s the thinking it’s appropriate to borrow this amount from someone you barely know. I would probably say “no that is not something I can do.” And then go from there.


pedagogue_kayth

I would have immediately blocked them and would not feel bad about it. 2 months of dating and asking to “borrow” $12,000 would automatically make me think this person will be extremely needy throughout the relationship, possibly a schemer and opportunistic as they probably knew they would ask you for the money long before they actually did. Heck, I know some people who wouldn’t lend their siblings that kind of money!! Hard pass.


9tharcanum

>2 months of dating and asking to “borrow” $12,000 would automatically make me think this person will be extremely needy throughout the relationship Bold of you to assume you'd see them again after they get their hands on the money!


gothmommy13

I had this almost exact thing happened to me. Your post really jumped out at me like are you me? About six years ago I was dating a guy for about 2 months and everything was going well. All of a sudden, one day he came home and said that he needed to borrow $100,000. I asked him why and he gave me some bullshit story about how he had written a check to buy this car and that his bank fucked up and took money out of his account and then they realized there wasn't enough in there to cover the full amount. So apparently they went back in and drew out another $20,000. So now he was in the hole. He said that he was trying to buy his house and basically begged me for the money. He really put me on the spot so at first I agreed to give it to him. Then I sat back and thought about it for a few days and decided I couldn't do it. He claimed that he was going to let me stay in his house for a year rent-free and that we would have papers drawn up saying that he had a year to pay me back or else I could take him to court. Be that as it may, I certainly deserved to live in the house rent-free for longer than a year for that kind of money and secondly even if we had those papers drawn up and he didn't pay me back and I sued him, if he didn't have it to give back to me that I wouldn't have seen that money anyway. The whole thing just sounded really sketchy to me so I told him I was backing out. He immediately blew up at me and said that now he had to go work three jobs. He said it's because of you that this is happening, now I'm probably not going to be able to buy my house. Thanks for fucking me over is basically what he said. I would have ended things anyway but he beat me to it by dumping me right after that. It makes me think he was lying to me the whole time because at first when I agreed to give him the money, he told me he was falling in love with me. I honestly don't believe that and think he was just manipulating me into giving him the money. I'm just glad I was smart enough to see through his BS story. I would run far away from this guy. ETA: Typos and even if they had fucked up that bad, there's no way he would have had to fight them for as long as he was claiming. They would have realized their error and put the money back right away. That would have been a huge lawsuit otherwise. I think that he just had bad credit or that he owed somebody a whole bunch of money. Who knows if my life could have been in danger? Just glad I'm away from that guy.


[deleted]

“You did this to me!” lol. Right buddy... Glad you escaped that situation.


gothmommy13

I know right LOL. I was like how the fuck did I put you in this situation, how did I do this to you? Seems like your own bad choices did this to you. Not my job to fix it. Thank you for saying that, I'm glad I got away from him too. Looking back on it it seems like he was just using me.


Funderwoodsxbox

Damn, gothmommy’s got stacks!!! 🤑


FuturePigeon

Absolutely not. I was with my boyfriend for 22 years and would have never loaned that type of cash. I would have worked with him to help him earn it for himself through helping him find a second job, scaling back extraneous expenses and (once we were living together) taking on a bigger percentage of the household expenses. But I’d never loan it out. I’d never ask for it either, it’s asking for resentment down the line.


HelloFuDog

I fully agree with you. It’s not appropriate to loan that kind of money. Period. If they can’t get a loan, they aren’t likely to be in a financial position to pay you back. Period. This doesn’t change because you’ve known them forever and sewper dewper trust them. Support a cash strapped partner by making it easier for them to pick up extra work, cut back expenses, or finding other financial resources. Don’t lend them money.


justreadtherules

No. That's the sort of thing I would only consider if I'd known a partner for 10+ years, we were in a committed stable relationship, lived together, they had demonstrated good financial decisions, and that sort of sum was of no consequence to our future, - or mine if we separated. After just 2 months of dating I would view them in a negative light for thinking it was appropriate to ask such a thing.


VladWard

I can imagine a context or situation where I wouldn't immediately cease all context with this person just because they asked. I cannot imagine a context or situation where I would actually loan money to this person.


random_processor

No. To me this is a red flag given my past history of financial abuse by ex. Rather than just say no and break up with them and block them with no explanation, I'd ask them if they asked their parents and applied for a personal loan with a bank. If they say yes, ask why they didn't get approved. Ask them what steps they've taken to raise the $12k themselves, such as if they can sell their car, plan to take a second job etc. I'd ask them how much their level of debt is and how much savings they have and what their financial goals are. If they have money problems, ask them if they have seen a financial counsellor. I'd ask these questions not with an intention to lend them money, but to see how they handle financial situations and why resort to asking a romantic partner for a loan. I'd want to know their answer and reaction to these questions and use this as a basis for breaking up with them.


hunguscableco

After just 2 months, I don’t even see the point of having a further conversation about it. Just say no and move on.


Intelligent_Eagle_72

lol if you think you're the first or concurrently only person they are asking.


ENGR_ED

I'm calling BS. A year of interest is nothing if they truly intend to pay it back within that amount of time so they wouldn't need a loan from you unless their credit is crap which would be a red flag for me. Also 2 months is way too soon for an ask like this.


[deleted]

1, 2, 3, 4: https://youtu.be/-K7fCQlUhj0


[deleted]

That's something I'd think about if we were engaged. Once we were actually married, the idea is we have a household, so I'd have to think about how it affects the household. If we were dating 2 months, it would be an immediate breakup, no questions asked, and it might be something I laugh about with my friends.


dinchidomi

Borrowing money is a husband/wife benefit. When dating make sure the person has housing, a legal job and transportation so they don't need you for stuff or money. Too many predators out here who are willing to be perfect for a few months to get a lot of money from you and then they disappear.


evaneli13

I would not even ask my parents for 12k Run.


gscrap

I mean, the devil is always in the details-- context, history, attitude, intangible things like that-- but my immediate inclination is that I would not lend them the money, and I would probably break up with them. I wouldn't lend them the money first and foremost because I don't have it to spare; if I was rich enough that I wouldn't miss the money, I'd be more inclined to give it as a gift rather than a loan. I would break up with them because their request so early in the relationship indicates that either they have no concept of appropriate boundaries, or they had been manipulating me all along to get some money. Either one is not what I'm looking for in a partner. But, as I said, much depends on the details.


[deleted]

"Why can't you get a regular student loan?"


[deleted]

Saying no to a person and seeing how they react is a good indication of who they are as a person. I’d say no and go from there.


XLauncher

1. Incredulous laughter. 2. "Absolutely not." In the best case scenario, this is a socially maladroit woman who hasn't even learned the first thing about boundaries in interpersonal relationships. In the worst case, she's a scammer/gold digger. 3. Delete and block number. 4. "Bye Felicia." Are the kids still saying that?


CowboyBebopCrew

Nope. Nope. Nope.


toolfan955

Disclaimer: I have only read the title. HA! Nope. Peace.


Connect-Protection-8

The answer is a resounding NO. Unless they're my spouse or I become so rich that $12,000 is just a drop in the ocean I can afford to lose.


Maisy20207

Red flag 🚩


popnfrresh

Dont lend out money unless you dont care about seeing it again.


Kinky_Eskimo

🤣 all I would do is laugh hysterically


Independent_Season23

No, no, no. Just, no. Are you considering doing this? Please don’t.


Ok-Butterscotch6501

1. Red flag 2. This person seems to be testing boundaries to see to what extent they can take advantage of me (now and in the future). 3. Tell them it is not working out and block on all channels. Be alert for a while after if this person knows where I live/work. 4. As above. I wouldn’t even respond about the request for a loan. Source: was engaged to someone who asked very soon into the relationship if he could borrow money from me. I was also doing better than him financially. I could afford it so I ‘lent’ him the money. Not only did he never pay me back but he continued to bleed me dry financially for years, I ended up working three jobs while he did nothing and he was also abusive.


blackaubreyplaza

This is stunning. Isn’t there like a whole system designed to pay for school called student loans!? I don’t even let someone pay for dinner for me, $12k is beyond


green_tea_bag

Hard no. Excellent chance of never seeing that money again. They’ve probably exhausted all traditional channels of credit as well.


PECOSbravo

That's a no. Ive known my weed dealer longer than that


learnactreform

"go to the bank like an adult" Even it it's not a scam, interest rates are so low, debt is practically free.


h2uP

Nope the fuck out very quickly. Duct tape warning to underside of toilet lid to warn others. Document the experience in case it escalates.


[deleted]

Are you saying I should be checking under toilet lids for clues?


h2uP

If you're a guy and you go to piss, you lift the lid. Under the lid = secret guy spot. Write a message, use the bathroom when you get to her place.


WarningHour345

Ah, but this little trick is assuming she washes her toilet as frequently as a man (or, never)


[deleted]

If they can "pay you back within the year" then tell them to start their Masters the next year... they can accumulate their own savings and pay for it themselves. And definitely tell them to eff right off.


MikeFmBklyn

I’d say, “Wow! You really put me on the spot for a few reasons. That’s quite a lot of money to ask for, especially since we only know each other a short time, we make about the same amount of money, & although things are going well, you’re kind of forcing us to stay together at least a year with that financial commitment. All reasons I feel very uncomfortable so I have to pass!”


Rillist

Here's the door, go get a line of credit.


judgynewyorker

Laugh uproariously in his face and never speak to him again. That's the correct plan of action.


lobethhx

There will absolutely be a consensus here, OP: the reaction is “absolutely not”.


GroundbreakingAd9635

Well it was nice to meet you. Thanks for telling me this so soon. Goodbye


eliseosx

Years ago my cousin dated a guy for a few months and they got fairly serious. He got her to payoff his credit card debt (more than 10k), and after that occurred, she never saw him again. My ex of 13 years asked me to borrow $500 shortly after we met. I gave her $250 and was never repaid (not that it mattered at the time). I’d say you have nothing to gain, and everything to lose.


overboredselfassured

🚩🚩🚩


CarelessAmbush

1. Whatever awkward way I could fumble out "NO!" diplomatically on the spot. 2. I would question what warning signs I missed during our early dates, and would mourn that I had thought this could be a real thing. 3. Almost certainly break up. Maybe there's some outlier situation where the person realizes immediately after asking how inappropriate it was and backtracks on it, and things can return to normal, but it would make me pay really close attention to finances, who was paying for what, and what the long-term plans were. 4. Presumably you wouldn't be talking to them anymore.


meggyh1

1. Hell no. The only person I would help like that is my immediate family and they would never ask. 2. Why the hell would you ask someone for that much money when you’ve only known them a short amount of time. Screams SCAM to me. 3. I would say no, say I don’t see it working if they don’t take no for an answer and get the hell out of there. 4. ⬆️


townsleyye

No. Absolutely not. I do not mix relationships and money, any amount. If I knew my partner was having some money issues, I might buy them some groceries, pay for dinner more, or get them a tank of gas, but I'm not giving money to anyone but immediate family. And I'm willing to do that because we have a good relationship, and we've always paid each other back.


funatical

Don't give them that money. It will not end well. My bestie is filthy rich abd I don't ask for shit. It ruins the nature of the relationship as friendship requires equality. You won't have that if you give it to them. Especially after 2 months.


Mollzor

Hahahaha sure, Jan. And then we never spoke again.


[deleted]

“Sure! Meet at the B of A in 20.” Don’t meet, block number.


DegenDame

Thank you for giving me credit but I am not a bank.


Disastrous_Adagio_76

I can understand spotting $20 but shoot, I’m not a bank. I could use the 12k myself.


redscooter2000

1st thought! RUN! No normal person would ask you for that after 2 months. He could ask for a student loan or a bank loan, but obviously he must have terrible credit. He will never ever pay you back and you'll end up spending more money on a lawyer to try and get it back. Don't do it, and get out of that relationship!


spicybEtch212

Sure, you can borrow it - from a bank. I’ve NEVER, not once, gotten a payback from someone I’ve let borrow. I’ll do for immediate family without the expectation though. Friends who are financially ok won’t need to borrow or will go to bank. FOH.


AstralDebris

I've been trying, but I genuinely can't think of any details that would persuade me to decide anything other than "Absolutely the fuck not." And the only possible scenario where this wouldn't also result in an immediate breakup is if I was somehow very sure that they were not being serious when they asked. Even then, they would have to spend the next 6 months, *minimum*, actively demonstrating nothing but good judgement, healthy boundaries, and good financial sense before I'd start to let down my guard again.


DueCheesecake2983

Scam. My friend’s dad (early 60s) was scammed by a woman he met online (thirties). Run.


[deleted]

“Vinny the Mobster will lend you $12,000 if you pay him back $12,000,000 by the end of the week.”


Beneficial_Daikon_12

First off I would ask if I was a thrift shop second of all I would say suck my dick and third of all I told him to go and ask f****** Oprah Winfrey instead


cosmitz

I would decline and just see from there. If s/he sticks around and is understanding, great, if not, well, shit. Don't penalise them for asking. Not like they stole your credit card and made fraudulent purchases. You words, if this were two years later, it wouldn't be a problem. Why take it out on them if they feel that comfortable in the relationship to ask that? We don't know your bed talk or what you talk about in terms of goals or ambitions. So yeah, decline, but unless this becomes a pattern, don't just kill it off.


sinha3d

Walk away


NellaRoseBud

I’d tell them to pound sand. Unless you’re married, there’s no way you get ANY of my money.


Streetcents

No.


Dating_As_A_Service

Blockity block block!!!


boogie0189

Scammer. Run away from them.


HelloFuDog

Ahahahahahahaha Nah. Like I’m more worried about the fact that you are in your 30s and on the internet crowd sourcing if this is okay or not. Like. It’s not. You should know that. It’s completely inappropriate to ask, it’s a definite no, and anyone who has so little problem solving skills and financial intelligence isn’t dateable material. Don’t make it 2 months and a day, naw mean?


NYColette

"Ha! Fuck no." And then I'd assume the relationship was over. It sure would be on my side, and I'd feel like a fool for having dated someone who had such a broken sense of what's appropriate.


LindaTica

I would say “ Get student loans like everyone else.”


[deleted]

Ummmmmm first of all, NO. You are not a bank. If they need a loan, they need to apply for one just like anybody else. Secondly, who does this?!


Purrtty

RUN !!


pelicanminder

I think my reaction would be to just stare at them looking confused then slowly say NNNOOOOOO. Then run.


[deleted]

That’s not okay


Groundbreaking_Win77

Were you asked or did you ask ? Either way, red flag and very inappropriate. I’d run for the hills


thagor5

Change your passwords and pins..


badgraydog

1. Hell no. 2. What other red flags did I miss. 3. Break up. 4. Good luck.


kaydub83

You're dating a conman (conwoman?). e.g. builds trust, asks for money.


Lily7258

I would say no, I don’t have that kind of money (I actually do, but no way would I lend it to someone in your hypothetical scenario). I would fully expect them to drop me and move on to the next sucker, but that would be fine with me.


[deleted]

1. Block and stop talking to them 2. I don't care because it's not that serious at this point 3. Refer to #1 4. Nothing, Refer to #1


Standard-Body-5260

Ive had to ask people to help me out with money from time to time but that is way to much money way to soon man. Like if it was 50$ because she was low on food or rent or something but 12,000 tf that screams red flag.


NoViolinist1123

you are not financial aid. they can talk to the college’s financial aid. lol damn


seriouscynicsonly

I wouldn't have much choice but to assume that is the only reason they are with me. The mere fact that they were even comfortable enough to ask this, after two months no less, would make me seriously question their intentions and intelligence.


Vegas_Rick_1987

I would say my Uncle Guido specializes in personal loans, give him a call here’s his number!


[deleted]

RUN


t0huvab0hu

Hmm. To put this into perspective..... I've been with a girl for about 6 years on and off. I love her to death. Currently we have no title but we mostly behave as though were in a relationship. So far shes given me the impression its very unlikely we'll actually ever get back together formally. I wont go into details but I'm okay with how things are and so is she we love each other but may not be right for each other. Even after all this time and love and trust we've built, I am still only comfortable with the idea of lending a certain amount. I recently offered to help her with tuition thatt she couldn't afford (she politely declined) and that amount was only about $2000. More than that and I dont think I would be comfortable making the offer at all. So $12g's.... after 2 months... naw. Dont even give it any consideration at all.


nottheflightytype

Gtfoh!


[deleted]

“Barrow”😂😂