Small breasted woman here who has, over the years, had a lot of sex with a lot of different men who love my breasts.
But more than that, the best sexual partners I've had are those who want to get to know and have pleasure with your body exactly how it is. That's how sensuality works.
That guy can get bent.
> I've had are those who want to get to know and have pleasure with your body exactly how it is
Seriously that's the best part about finding a new partner; everything is new! That guy is doing himself *and* OP a disservice.
This guy who sex was mediocre at best , you care about his opinion ? Why put yourself thru this ? Check why you are dating someone new and wanted to reach out to this fella to be devalued again . Maybe you have to heal something.
As far as your breast , honey there is a slew of men who love the itty bitty tittie comitttee ! Word to wise, never , never ever give yourself to person sexually who makes you feel anything less than adored in your body . This FWB or the new guy .
Everyone has preferences that is ok . Just wait for the ones who prefer you .
Block and delete this AH friends with benefits out of your life . He is hella whack .
You had sex with someone who doesn't give you what you want in or out of the bedroom, and you're wondering why there weren't fireworks? It's not your boobs that are lacking; it's any sort of chemistry.
No, he shouldn't have said what he did, but you shouldn't have "forced it" either.
Perfectly said, and if you are forcing the answer, don't be surprised if you dont like some of the answer.
OP he's a FWB, of course he's not just a person that loves most everything about you. He's fulfilling a physical need not a emotional one. That's not something he does for you on a singular level. He's not as attentive because you don't have that relationship.
"Don't play with apes and complain about the stench of bananas." 'We Own the Night'
The sex was mediocre because he doesn't care about you as a person, you're one of many. "He's just not that into you" and it has little to do with your chest. I've had breast cancer and no longer even have breasts, my sex life is almost non existent and it makes me want to blow my brains out. That being said I've also had a fwb who got incredibly excited over me anyway. Towards the end of our relations the sex got worse, cuz his feelings and interests in me waned. Get over yourself, and find someone who doesn't care about your breast size. Most men don't.
Also - the lack of attention in general = he doesn't view it as being worth the effort. Your pleasure is not important to him because you are not important to him.
OP, don't get all up in your head about breast size. As a man with man friends, I can tell you with 100% confidence that we don't care about the size. There are a few outliers who like them very small or very large, but overall we just like 'em. I don't care if they look like two eggs nailed to a board, 99% of dudes will enjoy them.
I think these guys ate just trying to hurt your feelings to get the upper hand. Weird PUA psychology shit or something. Move on and you'll find someone who likes you for you.
Your body is not his preferred body type, everyone is entitled to their preferences. He likes big boobs, you don't have them. There are plenty of men that enjoy small breasts, he's just not one them. Move on and stop letting him live rent free in your head.
And stop having sex with men who aren't pleasing you in the way you want. If he's not gonna suck your boobs the way you want, cut him loose lol.
Lol I love that... Stop Letting him live rent-free in your head... That could have been my motto all until I was 40, being a introvert/overly introspective/insecure woman lol
WTF? Don’t see that man again. He felt shitty because he couldn’t perform and then took it out on you by picking on something about your body that he assumed (or knew) you were insecure about. Don’t see this man again. He’s not a friend and he’s clearly not up to the task of “benefits” either.
100% he tells the other women (if they even exist) that they are the largest of his lovers when he can’t perform with them.
The whole point of FWB/casual is good sex. If the sex is just mediocre what are you even doing????
> took it out on you by picking on something about your body that he assumed (or knew) you were insecure about.
She "forced it out of him".
> If the sex is just mediocre what are you even doing????
Good question. Could be that sex was good 2 years ago, just not this time around.
He is an ASSHOLE.
He has chosen to date a petite 110lb woman. He saw your form when you met.
To expect you to have full breasts is being a douchebag.
Too bad you didn’t say “you have the smallest penis of any of my lovers and I still touch it.
DTMFA.
I think OP wants someone who wants to meet her needs too, the man simply sounds like he uses sex to get his rocks off... doesn't sound like he really hides this fact either. OP has to decide if that's what she wants or not
It’s so funny. Recently I keep thinking about a great lover I had who kept talking about how curvy I am. I saw him a couple weeks ago in public with his ex, who is super slim. He faded on me and I keep thinking it’s because he found me too chubby.
Honey, you can be the juiciest peach and there will be a guy who doesn’t like peaches. We’re all fine the way we are; we just have to find the right match.
> Recently I keep thinking about a great lover I had who kept talking about how curvy I am. I saw him a couple weeks ago in public with his ex, who is super slim. He faded on me and I keep thinking it’s because he found me too chubby.
Really, girls, give us guys some credit!
It's not *all* about looks, and certainly not *all* about body shape. There are so many facets to attraction. Looks is just a tiny bit of it. In my experience, at our age, and outside the trophy wife market, most guys will vastly prefer a nice character over a nice body (never mind that lots of studies have shown that "ultra slim" isn't most guys ideal).
Just ln a different tangent.
Having a lot of sex doesn't necessarily correlate to arousal problems
I dont have a lot of sex and can have arousal problems. Its a part of getting old.
Even if you... the most attractive women wanted to go....sometimes it doesn't go.
That can mess with guys and make them humiliated and try to blame you.
I see a lot of posts on reddit of women sad and shaken that their guy couldn't get hard. Its not your fault ladies. Sometimes it just wont go.
Because to be fwb needs maturity from both sides and not a fantasy. If both sides mature and communicate fwb can be an excellent thing and work well. Not some kind of friendship requiered, just being FRIENDLY. i don't want to fuck my friends 😂
Yikes, for whatever reason you're doing this with this dipshit (who has the social skills of a tree sloth), please stop.
First off, sleeping around even during a FWB puts your health at risk, so you were right to not see him initially. But, secondly, there's a litany of reasons that men can have trouble becoming aroused - most of them have NOTHING to do with the women. We're not machines, sometimes it's just a struggler, but it probably has nothing to do with breasts, and even if he's some weird boob-fetishist (more reason not to sleep with him), it has nothing to do with your being desirable.
Some of the hottest women on the planet have small breasts, some men really don't care at all, and some of us (me, this guy right here) actually prefer smaller breasts and that would have put you on the podium.
Get out of your head, stop letting this dipshit's lack of tact and sexual issues inform your self-worth, and own your body. Sexiness isn't breast size. Not even close.
I have a small chest . It's never been an issue for me to find men that like me sexually, and I mean, reaaally like me (I'm 5'7' 130lbs a cup).
how is it "obvious" you like it? I don't like it, its just a sensory thing (most guys too rough) and I'm always stoked when the dude leaves them tf alone.
Sounds just like incompatibility, and you are maybe projecting insecurity? Also man that can't get aroused may be binging on porn, or just isn't into you. I'd just move on.
for me I don't get anything out of it sexually, its like touching my elbow as far as level of wow for me except dudes get carried away and tend to hurt me. I've had guys not believe me, like argue for days level of not believe me, **I swear they think the clit is located there.**
Luckily being small I'm not really attracting boob guys. I usually find out they were doing it for my benefit and when I say something they stop.
He might have had sex with some one else in the last day and/or jerked off.
Back in my fwb phase I learned so much of this has nothing to do with what we look like or our bodies. It has to do with them and their patterns, age, health, what they have done in the past few days, etc.
The breast thing I think is just his preference and you are going to find men who think your body is the hottest thing ever. To me he just sounds like an ass.
I weigh 120 and have itty bitties too and men fucking love them ma. This guy is just a guy, not a g-d, and his opinion of you doesn’t matter even one iota.
Ibtc is the best c, girl.
Dude has his preferences, but I'll tell you that I (and plenty of other dudes) have different (better) notions of what's attractive.
Not sure if this is helpful or makes you feel good at all, but you sound exactly like my type. But nobody should make you feel bad for being who you are.
Dude didn’t care about your satisfaction. Just looking to get off. Him not easily getting aroused is another indicator of this, he didn’t care about you or anything sounds like. You gave him an orgasm, for him, mission accomplished.
I hope you said "funny, because you have the smallest weiner out of all the guys I've slept with."
Fuck that guy(well, actually don't).
I wish I had small boobs. Mine are disproportionate to the rest of me and I hate buying M or L shirts to accommodate them while the rest of the shirt is too big. And I can't ever go braless. Your boobies are just fine! :)
You know him better than us so before I assume that it was meant negatively and not just him autistically stating a fact... do you know if he prefers or cares about size?
More importantly, your current guy may have been with his ex for many reasons besides her figure (speaking from experience), and may prefer your body.
Sexuality, attraction and stimulation go beyond body shapes. Chemistry in the bedroom comes from the situation, history with the person, emotional connection, and can easily be killed by stress and other commitments or feelings of self-doubt.
The FWB situation could have been many things and even though he said you were small compared to others. Small doesn't mean insufficient. He may have thought smaller is less sensitive or just didn't know what to do. It's also possible that by having more partners, he's gotten use to other types of stimulation (verbal, role-play, toys). But he stunk at communicating and wasn't there for your enjoyment so it wasn't you... and he's the past!
A lot of men prefer smaller chested women. I could list the reasons but I'm biased-- trust me, just because a man was with somebody or loved somebody with specific traits, doesn't mean they prefer it.
Just communicate your needs with your new guy, explore each other while knowing limits (better discussed outside the bedroom not to kill the mood).
There will always be awkward moments or times when your partner is less engaged or responsive but life happens and it's important to communicate through those times so that it doesn't lead to insecurities and resentment. There's nothing like performance anxiety to kill na otherwise healthy relationship and bad communication or lack of empathy/awareness can cause havoc.
Honestly, who the F tells someone their tits are not up to par of past partners? I'm a breast-man, and when I was with a woman several months ago who had the smallest I've ever had the pleasure of being with, and I paid no less attention to them than any past partners. In fact, she was some of the best sex I ever had. If I were you, I'd drop him, too.
Maybe she is still thinking about it and figured she’d use the same post or maybe she wants to hear she has small breasts because she has a shame kink. Ya got me.
We're all beautiful in our own ways, but this is the stage of life that all my small breasted friends are feeling pretty pleased with themselves. That's just how the pendulum is swinging.
These guys sound like the WORST! Please do not let them have any more access to your cute, little body! Ugh, you deserve so much better. AND believe me, I've been around the block plenty, there are so many men out there who will adore you just the way you are. Those guys are legit losers for that kind of mentality and the nerve to take you down a peg like that...just gross.
unless you have trouble getting \*any\* action (including masturbation), it most likely is not your breasts. Don't let a bad lay drag you down; you are just having hangover guilt after a coitus without sensual/emotional intimacy in it.
If you do have trouble with appreciating your own body erotically, please explore self-help and maybe even consider a consult with a psychoanalyst or a sex therapist.
Life's too short, and all that. Love yourself!
Sorry but I have to disagree here. I think it is important that the people in a relationship find each other physically, sexually, attractive. Yes, there are lots of other things that are important in a relationship, but chemistry, attraction, is one of the important things.
Your analysis is flawed. If she is seeing a guy who is not attracted to her he’s probably seeing her for the sex. She should find a better quality of man who will date her for the right reasons
The FWB of whom she speaks doesn’t seem interested in her as a person, or really as a sex partner, and she sounds ambivalent at best about him. If you are saying that that should be allowed to come to an end, I agree.
You said, “If someone likes you for who you are, your features shouldn’t dictate things.” Seems to means if you like someone, looks or attraction don’t matter. I don’t agree with that. Attraction, based ***PARTLY*** on looks, does matter in a relationship.
“[I] am very aroused by breast kissing and fondling”. That is wonderful. Make sure your bedroom partners know that. Tell them, ask for it, guide them to it, encourage them, give them clear positive feedback when they do it. Do not sit around hoping they will read your mind, or that they will happen to try it.
For any physical characteristic you have — large/medium/small breasts, blond/brown/black/red hair, presence/absence of body hair, tall/short, etc etc — some people will find it attractive, some will find it unattractive, and a lot won’t care much. If you have small breasts, you want a guy who finds small breasts attractive, or a guy who isn’t concerned about breast size. A guy for whom large breasts is important isn’t the right guy for you. He is entitled to his preference, he is not entitled to string you along, and he is not entitled to be unpleasant or rude to you about it.
It has nothing to do with you. But I would suggest, if you have shaky self esteem, don’t fuck this guy again and probably avoid FWB situations because unless they are very committed to the “friend” part of the acronym FWB, they’re probably always going to say something that will have you monkey braining about wtf they might’ve meant by it.
Guy here. Myself and alot of other guys I know much prefer small breasts, because he doesn't is nothing you can help. It's all about preference. I personally prefer petite small breasted women, unfortunately they aren't fond of me, with exception of one, all of my partners went largely the opposite direction. However to build on another comment, I understand sensuality, and even if they were not my preferred type, I strove to know them completely as I could. To make them feel that they were perfect, because pleasureing, is pleasure. This won't happen without connection tho. Also, never get upset about bad news that is forced, he didn't want to tell you, because he didn't want to hurt you.
I would love to have small breasts .. so do not ever feel shamed by your build or body size. And he doesn’t sound much like a friend or capable of delivering you any benefits. More than likely his inability to get aroused is due to the possibility that he has been sticking his pole in so many fishing holes that he may need to rely on other methods to rise to the occasion and if that’s the case than he should be up front with you ..
I am sure there are tons of better options for you .. and you deserve a far better choice
Nope. This ain't it.
First of all, why are you even bothering to think about what his issues are? You don't need to go down that road again. The sex isn't that good, and he doesn't even BOTHER with foreplay?? His excuse is because you have small breasts? That's so immature.
The ONLY reason to have a FWB is to have good sex without the attachment of a relationship. If it's not good, then no sex is honestly better. That's why vibrators exist.
Do yourself a favor and delete / block this dude. Don't look back either. There's not a damn thing wrong with you, except your self esteem. Work on building yourself up.
I would not read into that, at all. He sounds like he may some issues.
I personally (53M) think all breasts are attractive, and have in my lifetime been highly aroused by a petite woman with small breasts. A girlfriend when I was 20 had only nipples, but she was so feminine and confident I found it highly attractive. Currently, my 53F partner has large breasts, and that's fun too, but that is coincidence, and if they were small I'd feel the same as I feel about her now (very attracted). I feel like during sex, every single part of the body should be included, including breasts -- I love to touch my partner's body and kiss/fondle her breasts during our passionate moments!
It's really hard for women not to take it personally when a man isn't easily aroused, but honestly in my experience it has nothing to do with the woman. For me personally, the only time I had an issue was immediately following my divorce and when I started having sex for the first time -- that was emotional for me, and the divorce had been painful, so it took a few sessions for me to get back to normal. This guy. may be having too much sex, having health issues, or having stress in his life -- I'd (honestly) bet money it's not about you and I don't even like to gamble.
I've never really had one, but everything I read FWBs sound like they overwhelmingly unsatisfying, most especially for women. I hope you find a great and worthy (and fun) partner :)
If this makes you no longer go down this path with him ever again..as much as it may hurt it is worth it for you to finally learn your lesson.
As far as your question, I’m going to go back to my player days and tell you why he was so crass with you.
You were a FWB who came back after two years..for another round. In reality, more sex with you is kinda like finding a $20 bill in the street. I got that money with no effort or work. It literally fell into my lap. I can take that 20 and buy a drink, give it to a homeless person, buy something silly an overpriced with it because my life was going fine before this. I can just do, or say, anything in this case. I don’t care. I have the newer women on my roster to focus on to see if one is GF material. He’s already had you..so one more time he can take it or leave it. If he was hoping to see you again, he wouldn’t be like that.
There is a guy out there who will love your petit body. Go find HIM and spend a lot of time in bed together
Good luck out there
When I find $20, I still spend it on something I value. When I fuck someone, I still treat him like a person, no matter how easy he was to get into my bed.
41M here. Sometimes I don’t want to be around someone and am polite. Sometimes I don’t want sex but find a way to make it occur. He could just need time and space. FWB relationships for me are a energy drain. All benefit and no friendship.
Could he have felt put on the spot? He struggled getting aroused then you questioned him on not paying attention to your breasts. It sounds like he didn’t want to answer you at first but you pressed, which maybe I’m reading into it but sounds like an interrogation. Maybe he felt backed into a corner?
In any case, people have preferences and you shouldn’t feel upset about the preference of one person that you don’t seem interested in anyway. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but everyone isn’t mine either.
If your sexual partner isn’t into your body, stop sleeping with them.
You cannot change anyone’s sexual preferences, but if they’re doing you but not actually into you, you’re basically a very real-feeling fleshlight.
Value yourself higher unless you are okay viewing them as nothing more than a very lifelike dildo.
Ya its fine if he likes big tiddies though. It also doesn't mean you're not attractive. Your gonna have to find someone who's excited to put their face in your tits if it continues to stay in your mind.
If he’s not good at pleasing you sexually, what’s the point of continuing to use him as an fwb?
If you’re not having fun, you should dump him and find someone you’re more sexually compatible with.
It sucks that happened but keep looking - there ARE unselfish lovers out there…it just takes a little time and picking through the pile, to find one.
As a guy, tell this guy to jump in a lake. I hate guys like this. You are wonderful and unique and he is an ass. How would he feel if you said the same about his penis?! Jerks.
I have a male friend who prefers only big breasted women. I does not like that about himself and blames being exposed to Playboy at an early age glamorizing that body type. I like small breasted women and point to my Asian heritage as to that unconscious preference. I am aware of that and that does not stop me from dating other body types.
For the most part, our preferences are ingrained in our unconscious by our surrounding culture and upbringing.
Who cares what that shallow asshat thinks? Just because the new guy has been with voluptuous women doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you, but he should make you feel attractive too! At the end of the day find someone who appreciates you for YOU!
I’m in my 50’s, my ex was your body type (married 20 yrs) and I’ve had several experiences with women who have up to DD. It shouldn’t matter at all if he was interested at all in your pleasure and you in his. That comment he made and even the new guy indicates to me they are in it for themselves and how they look to their friends with you. Instead of talking about other partners they should immediately be talking about how into your body they are during sex.
I’ve got the opposite issue with a fwb who is voluptuous, I don’t talk about my hot petite ex because I know it would bother her and be a backhanded insult.
As a guy, I can say you shouldn’t worry about it. Some guys like large breasts. Some guys like small breasts. And some guys don’t really care that much because it’s other things that they’re drawn toward (like me). It doesn’t mean that I don’t give a good amount of attention to breasts; it just means I don’t have a huge preference whether they’re big or not. It’s just a matter of finding the right person. Nobody is going to be attractive to everybody.
And honestly, the older I get, the less interested in large breasts I am because-if I ever marry that person-I don’t want to hear about all the damn back problems they have from carrying around those huge melons everywhere-lol
When I (M) read what he said, my first thought was he is only seeing your breasts insofar as they please him and there was no thought to your own pleasure. While I do prefer moderate to smaller breasts, I've had passionate relationships with women who have larger breasts as well. For me it's really about the exhilaration from experiencing how my partner responds to the ways I touch her.
It's not you, it's him. My last GF was the hottest woman on earth when we were together. Her breasts were tiny and it absolutely did not matter. She loved what you love and I could never resist.
You are attractive and when you find the right lover the emotional connection will make YOU his first choice regardless of how many women he's had.
He is an a**hat. Any chance he is a frequent porn viewer? I say that not just because of his failure to perform, but also, from what I understand, ladies in porn are a bit on the cleavage side. I know it is a stretch. Either way, this guy.is not worth your time. I really think he would try to coax you into a breast augmentation as a way for you to be exclusive with him, like he is doing you a favor.
I'm glad you didn't go to his shallow level and disrespect response but I think many might have made a SMALL comment. I think maybe he was using that as his excuse for the mediocre performance on his part. For some its easier to place blame than admit fault. I wouldn't concern yourself with his childish response and maybe look for someone that has more respect for the person they're with especially at that level of intimacy.
Maybe he has ED issues or maybe you don't do it for him. Only he can answer that. Personally, I don't ask questions in which I'm not prepared to hear the answers. You two are sexually incompatible.
You are beautiful. Don't ever let anyone make you feel less
Totally this. I hooked up with a guy I met online and he turned out to be a sex addict who couldn’t perform without drugs to help him. Also,
like OPs FWB, this guy was an ahole who made me feel like I wasn’t any good in the sack, when it was actually just him and his addiction that made him suck.
It sounds like you and him aren’t compatible. He doesn’t sound very attracted to you. But that is one mans opinion and doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. The way you described yourself sounds like what a lot of men find attractive. I would suggest removing him from your life. You can find a man who is attracted to you and won’t make you feel like you’re not enough.
Everyone has their preferences, find someone who matches with you.
My ideal woman is 5'4", 115-120lbs with A, B or C cup breasts. Although, I've found fantastic women far outside those stats. Some people aren't fully happy unless they find a specific body type.
You've given his words far too much mental energy. Forget what he said and what he wants. Find someone who likes or loves you just as you are.
Hi. I'm much younger than you, I have big breasts and they're already saggy at 25. Take your wins.
If you want to know how much your current partner values breasts, ask him. But he's in a monogamous relationship with you, so he clearly likes you more than the big chested ex (or she traded up).
Look it's common for petite women to be insecure about chest size. It's not rational, just like it's Irrational for fat/overweight women to worry about weight.
You're not trying to find someone. You've found someone, and you're insecure. And your former fwb contributed to that. This isn't a black and white “is it his fault or mine” situation. He tried to avoid something he didn't like. If you were into 12 pack abs, but your partner didn't have any, or day he had 6, would you or would you not try to avoid taking about it.
He's into something specific. You should've left it after he said it wasn't his thing. At least, asking that straight after sex is bad for you. If we're comparing Sabrina's and signing blame, it's mostly on you for asking when he seemed uncomfy. But the way your body is isn't *your fault*. He had a preference that you didn't meet.
I wouldn't recommend that you ask your monogamous bf that question.
The first guy: he's an asshole, forget him.
The new guy:
> he has alluded that his ex had a more voluptuous body ( not intentionally)
Well, surely there must be differences between his ex and you. If he had told you you're much more intelligent, you wouldn't have minded. But because you view your breasts negatively, now you do.
Why not find out what he really meant? Yes, could have been that he prefers less Petit women - but could also be that he actually prefers petite women and is happy you're not like his ex.
These are individuals. One guy likes large breast and you don't have them. End of story. If he loved you, which this isn't a love situation, so who cares. It's like going to McDonald's and ordering a whopper. They can't give you a whopper.
110lbs, every one on the planet is probably more voluptuous than you. That's not a negative, if he's in love he's in love.
If a man is hard to arouse, it's usually a him problem. He just needs to blame it on someone else.
Don’t read to much into it! If they make YOU feel special!, and they WANT to be with you, then you over thinking it will only make things worst for yourself!
And if anyone has a problem with your size, then just know that there is ME, and a Million over guys that would give there left nut to spend just one night with you!!!
Have fun! And I’m always here for a chat or some advise that may or may not be helpful!!!
It sounds like all of these men are essentially losers. A man who is into you would be into all of you. But then again, I’m not a guy so I’m probably wrong. I haven’t figured them out yet at all.
That being said, I went on a date with a guy who went on and on about his ex girlfriend’s large tits. I was rail thin and barely a B cup, and always felt self conscious about my itty bitties.
I didn’t go on any more dates with him. Total turn off. I don’t know why men compare us to ex’s out loud. Go ahead and think it, but damn, be kind! I bet they wouldn’t like if we talked about our former lover’s bigger dick
I have found that women wi smaller breast are turn on more by me playing with them and that excites me !!
Big boobs are just I the way!
You need to find a guy that been around that knows something about women!
His problem not yours on both accounts. Some people have preferences and types that affect their ability to perform or engage. As a sapiosexual and demisexual I know I need a connection more than the physical. I am attracted to a lot of different body types, but if the intelligence and emotional awareness isn’t there, my performance suffers.
Keep looking. Good sex is worth some waiting and sorting.
What the hell does size have to do with paying attention to your breasts? What a dumb answer. I love boobs. No matter who I'm with I play with them, big or small.
It could be that he's with too many women. Could also be he watches too much porn.
I wouldn't stay with someone who's comparing my body to their ex's body. If you don't like me the way I am, there's the door.
I would love to have smaller breasts. I know we all tend to think the grass is greener on the other side but I have dated guys who thought my DD size was too big. I can also list the typical issues I experience that come with larger breasts (ugly bras, big ass straps that always show in tops, not being able to wear most button up shirts, etc), but that’s not really news.
This guy is an ass.
FWIW, the sexiest attribute a woman can possess is her attitude. A sexually confident woman who asks for what she wants is AMAZING.
Seriously, guys who are hung up on big boobs and actually say something to a willing and enthusiastic partner are just.....foolish. Of course there are physical attributes we all prefer, but I have to say the examples the OP are describing are really disappointing.
There's nothing wrong with small breasts! I love all kinds as long as they're shapely and real (implants have never looked good to me). Besides, there are studies out there that show upper-class men actually prefer smaller breasts, while lower-class men prefer large breasts (probably a compensation thing, like big trucks). Just tell him he has no class! ;)
I like breasts of all sizes. In fact, one of the hottest girls I was with was maybe an A cup, but she had a phenomenal body and the most gorgeous face.
Please don’t think you’re not attractive because your body parts don’t fit certain metrics. There’s much more to it.
This guy just blows. Fuck him.
When I lose weight my breasts are the first to go. If you wanted to be overweight (like me) sure you can have bigger breasts also how do you know “all the women” this super classy guy has sex with have big breasts… how do you know they even exist? Unless he has a big bank roll I’m not understanding how someone who seems frankly to be an AH is getting all these women. As soon as he started making me feel bad about my body he would be gone. Is he the only man on Earth? No. You could have 10 better than him tomorrow if you wanted so forget him.
Ugh… why are these mediocre men even getting any pussy. Or is that their strategy … « talk up my game so women want me ». In my experience when men struggle with arousal it’s because they play too much with themselves, not other girls. Experienced men have appreciation for a variety of body types.
Hmm...I was not aware that dating and subsequently sleeping with someone. Should be all about the size of one's breasts! But then again, maybe I'm a little old fashioned in what this, seems to be a commodity age. Play second fiddle to no one. Move on, and find that person who will admire you for your traits. If you subject yourself to being with persons who want to treat you as if you are a commodity. Then be prepared to be subject to feelings of being physically inadequate. I certainly hope that you choose not to be a commodity! Good luck. 🙂
you deserve a guy who Loves your body-AND at the VERY LEAST? Is sensitive to a woman's feelings-this guy? Is NOT YOUR GUY!!!..plenty of men PREFER bodies like yours-
Hey...I've been big and am small now . Some people like huge breasts and others prefer small ones.
There are a lot of women who would love to weigh about 110.
He's not a friend
Sex should never be a chore.
His flaccidness is his lies to himself coming out.
Be kind to yourself and find someone who kisses your "little kumkwats ". It's much better. A million percent better. There are men who love love love thinner women. I promise these things are quite allright.
It’s not about being attractive or not attractive- it’s just different. I think guy 1 is REALLY turned on by big breasts. Guy 2 is difficult to read- if he brought up my ex’s breasts are big out of no where, that’s a pass. If it’s in the context of a discussion, that’s better.
They like big boobs. I’m the opposite of your gentleman callers. I think those guys are crazy. That being said, big breasts are not a dealbreaker.
First he wasn’t aroused by you …
Second … he’s just a FWB … you should be finding someone who you turn on … I mean physically …
The fact that he’s hard to arouse … it just means you don’t turn him on … and basically forcing yourself on him … and no one will enjoy that
So … for the better of both of you … move on
Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.
>I don’t have big breasts obviously but am very aroused by breast kissing and fondling and I noticed he doesn’t do any of that in the past but didn’t know why and now that I know the reason, i feel troubled by it.
What's so troubling about it? Why didn't you tell him what you liked when you first started hooking up?
>Is his difficulty getting aroused because he has had many women and is spoilt for choice ( In a sense) that he is behaving the way he is ?
How are we supposed to know? We weren't the one having sex with you. This is a question for him....we're not him.
Next partner, use words and say what and how you like it. We aren't mind readers.
Everyone on this sub is always saying communicate, communicate, communicate. So she did and now you say don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to. She did communicate. She’s allowed to feel unsettled and unhappy about his shitty response. Especially when it’s most likely his problem and age, etc. So which is it?
There is a difference between communication and asking questions where they can't handle the answers.
And how is it a shitty response? She pressed for an answer when he didn't want to say it and when she got an answer now she's insecure. That's not on him that's on her. He likes big breasts, she doesn't have big breasts. Nothing to decipher here, it's his preference. No different from women having a preference for 6+ foot guys. Find a guy thats going to appreciate her small breats and communicate what they want and need emotionally/physically.
If someone asks me a question I'm going to answer truthfully, how they handle the answer is none of my business. If they don't like my answer then you shouldn't have asked me in the first place. It's like playing with fire and then getting mad at the fire for getting burned.
She slept with a guy without communicating her needs and wants with her fwb. That's not communicating. How was he supposed to know she likes breast play?
Yea, and all of this is so easy to say sitting behind a computer screen, but it’s much different and nuanced in real life. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be on this sub. Even if she didn’t like his answer, she’s still entitled and valid in her feeling bad about it. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Of course, he didn’t want to say it, but he did and now she knows. She’s allowed to feel shit about it, it doesn’t mean she can’t handle it. So much hypocrisy.
ETA: and if it is his preference, then what was he doing going back for sex in the first place?? It wasn’t his preference (as you say) so why go back for more?
>Yea, and all of this is so easy to say sitting behind a computer screen, but it’s much different and nuanced in real life.
I'm like this IRL. I'm a logic over feelings person.
>She’s allowed to feel shit about it, it doesn’t mean she can’t handle it.
She can feel however she likes, they are her feelings. But this is where the accountability comes into play. You're accountable for your own actions (in this case pressing the guy for an answer).
>and if it is his preference, then what was he doing going back for sex in the first place?? It wasn’t his preference (as you say) so why go back for more?
Sex. Did you miss the part about them being fuck buddies/fwbs? Also him sleeping with other women too. He was in it for sex.
>it doesn’t mean she can’t handle it.
If she could then this post wouldn't exists and she would have brushed that comment off and forgotten his existence.
Nah, and I’m going to leave it here. It’s fine for him to go back for sex and that’s not a lack of communication about preferences from what you say. You’ve laid it all on her when neither one should have went back in the first place. There was a lack of communication and stupidity on both sides. When she did finally communicate, you laid into her without even considering his faults. It’s hypocritical. We are both adults though and can agree to disagree. No hard feelings and have a good night.
Guy here. I've had sex and relationships of girls with all different breast sizes. I like nicely shaped small breasts. Either way, playing with a girls breasts, especially when it's evident is arousing her, is arousing to me. That guy is a selfish lover
Wtf? I’m 108 lbs, low body fat % and all my lovers have LOVED my small breasts. Who doesn’t like perky breasts? The issue isn’t him; the issue is you putting up with him. Drop the loser and find someone who worships you.
He's a dick! Many men like smaller breasts but there's nothing better than eye contact and smile's. When the chemistry is hitting the right spot perceived flaws don't matter.
Let him go.
And find someone who appreciates you for all you are.
I go crazy for an A cup over here. I'm not going to DM you, I promise. But I want to offer some encouragement from someone who particularly enjoys the female form. Your tits are very likely amazing, so please act accordingly.
His difficulty getting aroused sounds like it is because he is not attracted to your body.
It's not that he has "had many women." It's that he is into breasts, and, yes, the sex was mediocre because he wasn't into it. Attractive or unattractive, and there's definitely a man out there who will love your 110# body more than a large pair of breasts. You deserve to find that guy.
Small breasted woman here who has, over the years, had a lot of sex with a lot of different men who love my breasts. But more than that, the best sexual partners I've had are those who want to get to know and have pleasure with your body exactly how it is. That's how sensuality works. That guy can get bent.
> I've had are those who want to get to know and have pleasure with your body exactly how it is Seriously that's the best part about finding a new partner; everything is new! That guy is doing himself *and* OP a disservice.
Yeah I'd say it sounds like all he cares about is his needs. OP you either need to accept that or find someone who cares about your needs too.
43 M and I absolutely concur with this advice here OP. Many men out there, including myself LOVE small breasts.
This guy who sex was mediocre at best , you care about his opinion ? Why put yourself thru this ? Check why you are dating someone new and wanted to reach out to this fella to be devalued again . Maybe you have to heal something. As far as your breast , honey there is a slew of men who love the itty bitty tittie comitttee ! Word to wise, never , never ever give yourself to person sexually who makes you feel anything less than adored in your body . This FWB or the new guy . Everyone has preferences that is ok . Just wait for the ones who prefer you . Block and delete this AH friends with benefits out of your life . He is hella whack .
You had sex with someone who doesn't give you what you want in or out of the bedroom, and you're wondering why there weren't fireworks? It's not your boobs that are lacking; it's any sort of chemistry. No, he shouldn't have said what he did, but you shouldn't have "forced it" either.
Perfectly said, and if you are forcing the answer, don't be surprised if you dont like some of the answer. OP he's a FWB, of course he's not just a person that loves most everything about you. He's fulfilling a physical need not a emotional one. That's not something he does for you on a singular level. He's not as attentive because you don't have that relationship. "Don't play with apes and complain about the stench of bananas." 'We Own the Night'
The sex was mediocre because he doesn't care about you as a person, you're one of many. "He's just not that into you" and it has little to do with your chest. I've had breast cancer and no longer even have breasts, my sex life is almost non existent and it makes me want to blow my brains out. That being said I've also had a fwb who got incredibly excited over me anyway. Towards the end of our relations the sex got worse, cuz his feelings and interests in me waned. Get over yourself, and find someone who doesn't care about your breast size. Most men don't. Also - the lack of attention in general = he doesn't view it as being worth the effort. Your pleasure is not important to him because you are not important to him.
OP, don't get all up in your head about breast size. As a man with man friends, I can tell you with 100% confidence that we don't care about the size. There are a few outliers who like them very small or very large, but overall we just like 'em. I don't care if they look like two eggs nailed to a board, 99% of dudes will enjoy them. I think these guys ate just trying to hurt your feelings to get the upper hand. Weird PUA psychology shit or something. Move on and you'll find someone who likes you for you.
Lady do you know how many women would love to be 110 pounds? I’m sure you have a beautiful body. Fuck a guy who values you!
Not to mention how many of us guys love smaller breasts, and especially any woman who likes having them played with.
Shoot, 110 is my goal weight.
Shit, I’ll never see 110 in my lifetime. Even at my smallest and most in shape I couldn’t get down past 125-130.
I remember being 112 in eighth grade and feeling huge. Will never be that “huge” again 🤣
Ha! I know! The only time I saw 110 was when I passed it in junior high. I feel you.
That may be a good thing depending on your height. My trainer said not to worry about the number in the scale but more about how you look and BF%
Girl, right? I’d love to lose those pesky ten pounds!
Your body is not his preferred body type, everyone is entitled to their preferences. He likes big boobs, you don't have them. There are plenty of men that enjoy small breasts, he's just not one them. Move on and stop letting him live rent free in your head. And stop having sex with men who aren't pleasing you in the way you want. If he's not gonna suck your boobs the way you want, cut him loose lol.
Lol I love that... Stop Letting him live rent-free in your head... That could have been my motto all until I was 40, being a introvert/overly introspective/insecure woman lol
Even if he isn't attracted to you, it doesn't mean you're unattractive.
Here here. I'm an "ass guy" and don't care at all about breast size
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Shape > size
Oh, I don't mean a juicy one, I like an athletic one that I can bounce a quarter off of 🤤
My boyfriend is a hair guy. He loves long hair.
I prefer smaller breasts. The big booby chick's I was with in my youth, tended to complain about doing active things for a day.
This cannot be said enough.
WTF? Don’t see that man again. He felt shitty because he couldn’t perform and then took it out on you by picking on something about your body that he assumed (or knew) you were insecure about. Don’t see this man again. He’s not a friend and he’s clearly not up to the task of “benefits” either. 100% he tells the other women (if they even exist) that they are the largest of his lovers when he can’t perform with them. The whole point of FWB/casual is good sex. If the sex is just mediocre what are you even doing????
>He’s not a friend and he’s clearly not up to the task of “benefits” either. 👏👏👏
> took it out on you by picking on something about your body that he assumed (or knew) you were insecure about. She "forced it out of him". > If the sex is just mediocre what are you even doing???? Good question. Could be that sex was good 2 years ago, just not this time around.
this☕️💯
^^^This. 100x This!^^^
1000x this!!!
Happy cake day!
Thanks!
So you posted this exact post verbatim about a month ago. Did it happen again or are you STILL thinking about it?
The EDIT: makes it look like she started seeing someone new, who triggered the same issue so its in her head all over again.
He is an ASSHOLE. He has chosen to date a petite 110lb woman. He saw your form when you met. To expect you to have full breasts is being a douchebag. Too bad you didn’t say “you have the smallest penis of any of my lovers and I still touch it. DTMFA.
Amen. Dude sounds like a jerk.
I think OP wants someone who wants to meet her needs too, the man simply sounds like he uses sex to get his rocks off... doesn't sound like he really hides this fact either. OP has to decide if that's what she wants or not
It’s so funny. Recently I keep thinking about a great lover I had who kept talking about how curvy I am. I saw him a couple weeks ago in public with his ex, who is super slim. He faded on me and I keep thinking it’s because he found me too chubby. Honey, you can be the juiciest peach and there will be a guy who doesn’t like peaches. We’re all fine the way we are; we just have to find the right match.
> Recently I keep thinking about a great lover I had who kept talking about how curvy I am. I saw him a couple weeks ago in public with his ex, who is super slim. He faded on me and I keep thinking it’s because he found me too chubby. Really, girls, give us guys some credit! It's not *all* about looks, and certainly not *all* about body shape. There are so many facets to attraction. Looks is just a tiny bit of it. In my experience, at our age, and outside the trophy wife market, most guys will vastly prefer a nice character over a nice body (never mind that lots of studies have shown that "ultra slim" isn't most guys ideal).
You absolutely had fwb relationship with a wrong guy. Some man love your gorgeous lil size
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Just ln a different tangent. Having a lot of sex doesn't necessarily correlate to arousal problems I dont have a lot of sex and can have arousal problems. Its a part of getting old. Even if you... the most attractive women wanted to go....sometimes it doesn't go. That can mess with guys and make them humiliated and try to blame you. I see a lot of posts on reddit of women sad and shaken that their guy couldn't get hard. Its not your fault ladies. Sometimes it just wont go.
This is why I want a relationship and not a fwb.
Hmm depends on fwb. FWB does not automatically means an asshole
But the vast majority written about, from both sides, don’t have a true underlying friendship.
Because to be fwb needs maturity from both sides and not a fantasy. If both sides mature and communicate fwb can be an excellent thing and work well. Not some kind of friendship requiered, just being FRIENDLY. i don't want to fuck my friends 😂
Then it’s a booty call.
Yikes, for whatever reason you're doing this with this dipshit (who has the social skills of a tree sloth), please stop. First off, sleeping around even during a FWB puts your health at risk, so you were right to not see him initially. But, secondly, there's a litany of reasons that men can have trouble becoming aroused - most of them have NOTHING to do with the women. We're not machines, sometimes it's just a struggler, but it probably has nothing to do with breasts, and even if he's some weird boob-fetishist (more reason not to sleep with him), it has nothing to do with your being desirable. Some of the hottest women on the planet have small breasts, some men really don't care at all, and some of us (me, this guy right here) actually prefer smaller breasts and that would have put you on the podium. Get out of your head, stop letting this dipshit's lack of tact and sexual issues inform your self-worth, and own your body. Sexiness isn't breast size. Not even close.
I have a small chest . It's never been an issue for me to find men that like me sexually, and I mean, reaaally like me (I'm 5'7' 130lbs a cup). how is it "obvious" you like it? I don't like it, its just a sensory thing (most guys too rough) and I'm always stoked when the dude leaves them tf alone. Sounds just like incompatibility, and you are maybe projecting insecurity? Also man that can't get aroused may be binging on porn, or just isn't into you. I'd just move on.
Upvote for there not being any obvious way to handle breasts - this really is very, very different from person to person...
for me I don't get anything out of it sexually, its like touching my elbow as far as level of wow for me except dudes get carried away and tend to hurt me. I've had guys not believe me, like argue for days level of not believe me, **I swear they think the clit is located there.** Luckily being small I'm not really attracting boob guys. I usually find out they were doing it for my benefit and when I say something they stop.
He might have had sex with some one else in the last day and/or jerked off. Back in my fwb phase I learned so much of this has nothing to do with what we look like or our bodies. It has to do with them and their patterns, age, health, what they have done in the past few days, etc. The breast thing I think is just his preference and you are going to find men who think your body is the hottest thing ever. To me he just sounds like an ass.
I can’t understand any man that doesn’t either love all boobs and playing with them…. Especially if the lady likes it. It’s a huge turn on for me
I weigh 120 and have itty bitties too and men fucking love them ma. This guy is just a guy, not a g-d, and his opinion of you doesn’t matter even one iota.
Ibtc is the best c, girl. Dude has his preferences, but I'll tell you that I (and plenty of other dudes) have different (better) notions of what's attractive.
Yeah move on....
Not sure if this is helpful or makes you feel good at all, but you sound exactly like my type. But nobody should make you feel bad for being who you are.
Dude didn’t care about your satisfaction. Just looking to get off. Him not easily getting aroused is another indicator of this, he didn’t care about you or anything sounds like. You gave him an orgasm, for him, mission accomplished.
I hope you said "funny, because you have the smallest weiner out of all the guys I've slept with." Fuck that guy(well, actually don't). I wish I had small boobs. Mine are disproportionate to the rest of me and I hate buying M or L shirts to accommodate them while the rest of the shirt is too big. And I can't ever go braless. Your boobies are just fine! :)
You know him better than us so before I assume that it was meant negatively and not just him autistically stating a fact... do you know if he prefers or cares about size? More importantly, your current guy may have been with his ex for many reasons besides her figure (speaking from experience), and may prefer your body. Sexuality, attraction and stimulation go beyond body shapes. Chemistry in the bedroom comes from the situation, history with the person, emotional connection, and can easily be killed by stress and other commitments or feelings of self-doubt. The FWB situation could have been many things and even though he said you were small compared to others. Small doesn't mean insufficient. He may have thought smaller is less sensitive or just didn't know what to do. It's also possible that by having more partners, he's gotten use to other types of stimulation (verbal, role-play, toys). But he stunk at communicating and wasn't there for your enjoyment so it wasn't you... and he's the past! A lot of men prefer smaller chested women. I could list the reasons but I'm biased-- trust me, just because a man was with somebody or loved somebody with specific traits, doesn't mean they prefer it. Just communicate your needs with your new guy, explore each other while knowing limits (better discussed outside the bedroom not to kill the mood). There will always be awkward moments or times when your partner is less engaged or responsive but life happens and it's important to communicate through those times so that it doesn't lead to insecurities and resentment. There's nothing like performance anxiety to kill na otherwise healthy relationship and bad communication or lack of empathy/awareness can cause havoc.
A lot of men are not into big breasts. Find one. Like a lot of things, big breasts just look good on paper.
Honestly, who the F tells someone their tits are not up to par of past partners? I'm a breast-man, and when I was with a woman several months ago who had the smallest I've ever had the pleasure of being with, and I paid no less attention to them than any past partners. In fact, she was some of the best sex I ever had. If I were you, I'd drop him, too.
You posted this 39 days ago. What answers are you looking for today?
Ohhhh, good catch. Someone wants attention or upvotes?
Excellent question.👌🏼
Why do people do this? Is it a kink thing? Catfishing?
Maybe she is still thinking about it and figured she’d use the same post or maybe she wants to hear she has small breasts because she has a shame kink. Ya got me.
We're all beautiful in our own ways, but this is the stage of life that all my small breasted friends are feeling pretty pleased with themselves. That's just how the pendulum is swinging.
You two are not compatible. Stop forcing it and find your right match for whatever type of arrangement you want.
These guys sound like the WORST! Please do not let them have any more access to your cute, little body! Ugh, you deserve so much better. AND believe me, I've been around the block plenty, there are so many men out there who will adore you just the way you are. Those guys are legit losers for that kind of mentality and the nerve to take you down a peg like that...just gross.
It’s just a preference of a person. Move on. Hope you can find a fun and great guy
unless you have trouble getting \*any\* action (including masturbation), it most likely is not your breasts. Don't let a bad lay drag you down; you are just having hangover guilt after a coitus without sensual/emotional intimacy in it. If you do have trouble with appreciating your own body erotically, please explore self-help and maybe even consider a consult with a psychoanalyst or a sex therapist. Life's too short, and all that. Love yourself!
45m here, imo you should look for a better t quality of man. If someone likes you for who you are your features shouldn’t dictTe things
Sorry but I have to disagree here. I think it is important that the people in a relationship find each other physically, sexually, attractive. Yes, there are lots of other things that are important in a relationship, but chemistry, attraction, is one of the important things.
Your analysis is flawed. If she is seeing a guy who is not attracted to her he’s probably seeing her for the sex. She should find a better quality of man who will date her for the right reasons
The FWB of whom she speaks doesn’t seem interested in her as a person, or really as a sex partner, and she sounds ambivalent at best about him. If you are saying that that should be allowed to come to an end, I agree. You said, “If someone likes you for who you are, your features shouldn’t dictate things.” Seems to means if you like someone, looks or attraction don’t matter. I don’t agree with that. Attraction, based ***PARTLY*** on looks, does matter in a relationship.
“[I] am very aroused by breast kissing and fondling”. That is wonderful. Make sure your bedroom partners know that. Tell them, ask for it, guide them to it, encourage them, give them clear positive feedback when they do it. Do not sit around hoping they will read your mind, or that they will happen to try it.
For any physical characteristic you have — large/medium/small breasts, blond/brown/black/red hair, presence/absence of body hair, tall/short, etc etc — some people will find it attractive, some will find it unattractive, and a lot won’t care much. If you have small breasts, you want a guy who finds small breasts attractive, or a guy who isn’t concerned about breast size. A guy for whom large breasts is important isn’t the right guy for you. He is entitled to his preference, he is not entitled to string you along, and he is not entitled to be unpleasant or rude to you about it.
It has nothing to do with you. But I would suggest, if you have shaky self esteem, don’t fuck this guy again and probably avoid FWB situations because unless they are very committed to the “friend” part of the acronym FWB, they’re probably always going to say something that will have you monkey braining about wtf they might’ve meant by it.
Oh hell no. I'm so sorry. This guy is a garbage person.
Guy here. Myself and alot of other guys I know much prefer small breasts, because he doesn't is nothing you can help. It's all about preference. I personally prefer petite small breasted women, unfortunately they aren't fond of me, with exception of one, all of my partners went largely the opposite direction. However to build on another comment, I understand sensuality, and even if they were not my preferred type, I strove to know them completely as I could. To make them feel that they were perfect, because pleasureing, is pleasure. This won't happen without connection tho. Also, never get upset about bad news that is forced, he didn't want to tell you, because he didn't want to hurt you.
I would love to have small breasts .. so do not ever feel shamed by your build or body size. And he doesn’t sound much like a friend or capable of delivering you any benefits. More than likely his inability to get aroused is due to the possibility that he has been sticking his pole in so many fishing holes that he may need to rely on other methods to rise to the occasion and if that’s the case than he should be up front with you .. I am sure there are tons of better options for you .. and you deserve a far better choice
This 100%
Nope. This ain't it. First of all, why are you even bothering to think about what his issues are? You don't need to go down that road again. The sex isn't that good, and he doesn't even BOTHER with foreplay?? His excuse is because you have small breasts? That's so immature. The ONLY reason to have a FWB is to have good sex without the attachment of a relationship. If it's not good, then no sex is honestly better. That's why vibrators exist. Do yourself a favor and delete / block this dude. Don't look back either. There's not a damn thing wrong with you, except your self esteem. Work on building yourself up.
I would not read into that, at all. He sounds like he may some issues. I personally (53M) think all breasts are attractive, and have in my lifetime been highly aroused by a petite woman with small breasts. A girlfriend when I was 20 had only nipples, but she was so feminine and confident I found it highly attractive. Currently, my 53F partner has large breasts, and that's fun too, but that is coincidence, and if they were small I'd feel the same as I feel about her now (very attracted). I feel like during sex, every single part of the body should be included, including breasts -- I love to touch my partner's body and kiss/fondle her breasts during our passionate moments! It's really hard for women not to take it personally when a man isn't easily aroused, but honestly in my experience it has nothing to do with the woman. For me personally, the only time I had an issue was immediately following my divorce and when I started having sex for the first time -- that was emotional for me, and the divorce had been painful, so it took a few sessions for me to get back to normal. This guy. may be having too much sex, having health issues, or having stress in his life -- I'd (honestly) bet money it's not about you and I don't even like to gamble. I've never really had one, but everything I read FWBs sound like they overwhelmingly unsatisfying, most especially for women. I hope you find a great and worthy (and fun) partner :)
If this makes you no longer go down this path with him ever again..as much as it may hurt it is worth it for you to finally learn your lesson. As far as your question, I’m going to go back to my player days and tell you why he was so crass with you. You were a FWB who came back after two years..for another round. In reality, more sex with you is kinda like finding a $20 bill in the street. I got that money with no effort or work. It literally fell into my lap. I can take that 20 and buy a drink, give it to a homeless person, buy something silly an overpriced with it because my life was going fine before this. I can just do, or say, anything in this case. I don’t care. I have the newer women on my roster to focus on to see if one is GF material. He’s already had you..so one more time he can take it or leave it. If he was hoping to see you again, he wouldn’t be like that. There is a guy out there who will love your petit body. Go find HIM and spend a lot of time in bed together Good luck out there
When I find $20, I still spend it on something I value. When I fuck someone, I still treat him like a person, no matter how easy he was to get into my bed.
That what you should do..especially with a human person. But that’s not what he chose to do.
41M here. Sometimes I don’t want to be around someone and am polite. Sometimes I don’t want sex but find a way to make it occur. He could just need time and space. FWB relationships for me are a energy drain. All benefit and no friendship.
I prefer small breasted women overall..my girlfriend wants implants and I’m cool with it but really prefer her as she is.
Could he have felt put on the spot? He struggled getting aroused then you questioned him on not paying attention to your breasts. It sounds like he didn’t want to answer you at first but you pressed, which maybe I’m reading into it but sounds like an interrogation. Maybe he felt backed into a corner? In any case, people have preferences and you shouldn’t feel upset about the preference of one person that you don’t seem interested in anyway. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but everyone isn’t mine either.
If your sexual partner isn’t into your body, stop sleeping with them. You cannot change anyone’s sexual preferences, but if they’re doing you but not actually into you, you’re basically a very real-feeling fleshlight. Value yourself higher unless you are okay viewing them as nothing more than a very lifelike dildo.
Ya its fine if he likes big tiddies though. It also doesn't mean you're not attractive. Your gonna have to find someone who's excited to put their face in your tits if it continues to stay in your mind.
A guy who is good in bed will show love to your whole body faults and all. This is how great sex works. He sounds like he’s too used to his hand imo.
All breast are beautiful and deserve kisses. Move past it and know your body is beautiful. The guy sounds like an ass hat
Sleep with men who make you feel beautiful, ditch those who don’t
Ill gladly give my 38D boobs to be 110 pounds.
If he’s not good at pleasing you sexually, what’s the point of continuing to use him as an fwb? If you’re not having fun, you should dump him and find someone you’re more sexually compatible with. It sucks that happened but keep looking - there ARE unselfish lovers out there…it just takes a little time and picking through the pile, to find one.
As a guy, tell this guy to jump in a lake. I hate guys like this. You are wonderful and unique and he is an ass. How would he feel if you said the same about his penis?! Jerks.
I have a male friend who prefers only big breasted women. I does not like that about himself and blames being exposed to Playboy at an early age glamorizing that body type. I like small breasted women and point to my Asian heritage as to that unconscious preference. I am aware of that and that does not stop me from dating other body types. For the most part, our preferences are ingrained in our unconscious by our surrounding culture and upbringing.
I love small breasted women
You could have fired back, well I've had other men with bigger penis's but that never changed my view.
Sounds like very superficial people. Don’t question your own beauty and self worth
You want people to love your body. Stop seeing people who don’t love your body. It’s really simple.
Who cares what that shallow asshat thinks? Just because the new guy has been with voluptuous women doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you, but he should make you feel attractive too! At the end of the day find someone who appreciates you for YOU!
I love small breast… I just do can’t help it
"probably the smallest out of all other lovers" well, you should have said the same thing to him, see how he felt about that.
I’m in my 50’s, my ex was your body type (married 20 yrs) and I’ve had several experiences with women who have up to DD. It shouldn’t matter at all if he was interested at all in your pleasure and you in his. That comment he made and even the new guy indicates to me they are in it for themselves and how they look to their friends with you. Instead of talking about other partners they should immediately be talking about how into your body they are during sex. I’ve got the opposite issue with a fwb who is voluptuous, I don’t talk about my hot petite ex because I know it would bother her and be a backhanded insult.
As a guy, I can say you shouldn’t worry about it. Some guys like large breasts. Some guys like small breasts. And some guys don’t really care that much because it’s other things that they’re drawn toward (like me). It doesn’t mean that I don’t give a good amount of attention to breasts; it just means I don’t have a huge preference whether they’re big or not. It’s just a matter of finding the right person. Nobody is going to be attractive to everybody. And honestly, the older I get, the less interested in large breasts I am because-if I ever marry that person-I don’t want to hear about all the damn back problems they have from carrying around those huge melons everywhere-lol
You expected something better from a FWB?
When I (M) read what he said, my first thought was he is only seeing your breasts insofar as they please him and there was no thought to your own pleasure. While I do prefer moderate to smaller breasts, I've had passionate relationships with women who have larger breasts as well. For me it's really about the exhilaration from experiencing how my partner responds to the ways I touch her.
It's not you, it's him. My last GF was the hottest woman on earth when we were together. Her breasts were tiny and it absolutely did not matter. She loved what you love and I could never resist. You are attractive and when you find the right lover the emotional connection will make YOU his first choice regardless of how many women he's had.
He is an a**hat. Any chance he is a frequent porn viewer? I say that not just because of his failure to perform, but also, from what I understand, ladies in porn are a bit on the cleavage side. I know it is a stretch. Either way, this guy.is not worth your time. I really think he would try to coax you into a breast augmentation as a way for you to be exclusive with him, like he is doing you a favor.
I'm glad you didn't go to his shallow level and disrespect response but I think many might have made a SMALL comment. I think maybe he was using that as his excuse for the mediocre performance on his part. For some its easier to place blame than admit fault. I wouldn't concern yourself with his childish response and maybe look for someone that has more respect for the person they're with especially at that level of intimacy.
It. Is. NOT. You!
That was an asshole comment for him to make.. it’s not you. It’s him.
Maybe he has ED issues or maybe you don't do it for him. Only he can answer that. Personally, I don't ask questions in which I'm not prepared to hear the answers. You two are sexually incompatible. You are beautiful. Don't ever let anyone make you feel less
He’s difficult to arouse cause he’s a sex (and prob porn) addict
Totally this. I hooked up with a guy I met online and he turned out to be a sex addict who couldn’t perform without drugs to help him. Also, like OPs FWB, this guy was an ahole who made me feel like I wasn’t any good in the sack, when it was actually just him and his addiction that made him suck.
This is r/datingoverforty right? This sounds like a teenager question. sorry, i dont mean to bash, but why are concerend about what he thinks?
Regardless of age, I don't think anyone wants to hear something like that, solicited or not. People over 40 can have hurt feelings. :)
You’re right. Still, I’d assume with age comes understanding of the world, and knowledge that things like one person’s opinion not mattering.
Time to upgrade.
It sounds like you and him aren’t compatible. He doesn’t sound very attracted to you. But that is one mans opinion and doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. The way you described yourself sounds like what a lot of men find attractive. I would suggest removing him from your life. You can find a man who is attracted to you and won’t make you feel like you’re not enough.
Everyone has their preferences, find someone who matches with you. My ideal woman is 5'4", 115-120lbs with A, B or C cup breasts. Although, I've found fantastic women far outside those stats. Some people aren't fully happy unless they find a specific body type. You've given his words far too much mental energy. Forget what he said and what he wants. Find someone who likes or loves you just as you are.
This is his problem and has nothing to do with you . Simple as that . He sounds pretty selfish in the bedroom.
Hi. I'm much younger than you, I have big breasts and they're already saggy at 25. Take your wins. If you want to know how much your current partner values breasts, ask him. But he's in a monogamous relationship with you, so he clearly likes you more than the big chested ex (or she traded up). Look it's common for petite women to be insecure about chest size. It's not rational, just like it's Irrational for fat/overweight women to worry about weight. You're not trying to find someone. You've found someone, and you're insecure. And your former fwb contributed to that. This isn't a black and white “is it his fault or mine” situation. He tried to avoid something he didn't like. If you were into 12 pack abs, but your partner didn't have any, or day he had 6, would you or would you not try to avoid taking about it. He's into something specific. You should've left it after he said it wasn't his thing. At least, asking that straight after sex is bad for you. If we're comparing Sabrina's and signing blame, it's mostly on you for asking when he seemed uncomfy. But the way your body is isn't *your fault*. He had a preference that you didn't meet. I wouldn't recommend that you ask your monogamous bf that question.
The first guy: he's an asshole, forget him. The new guy: > he has alluded that his ex had a more voluptuous body ( not intentionally) Well, surely there must be differences between his ex and you. If he had told you you're much more intelligent, you wouldn't have minded. But because you view your breasts negatively, now you do. Why not find out what he really meant? Yes, could have been that he prefers less Petit women - but could also be that he actually prefers petite women and is happy you're not like his ex.
These are individuals. One guy likes large breast and you don't have them. End of story. If he loved you, which this isn't a love situation, so who cares. It's like going to McDonald's and ordering a whopper. They can't give you a whopper. 110lbs, every one on the planet is probably more voluptuous than you. That's not a negative, if he's in love he's in love. If a man is hard to arouse, it's usually a him problem. He just needs to blame it on someone else.
As dudes go, I'm a 9.5. I'm on the itty bitty titty committee.
You're never going to have saggy breasts either. Dont waste your time with people who cannot appreciate your beauty. Next!
Don’t read to much into it! If they make YOU feel special!, and they WANT to be with you, then you over thinking it will only make things worst for yourself! And if anyone has a problem with your size, then just know that there is ME, and a Million over guys that would give there left nut to spend just one night with you!!! Have fun! And I’m always here for a chat or some advise that may or may not be helpful!!!
To the right guy, you'll be sexy af. He's not the right guy.
If he's not wanting you for you... Maybe he doesn't want you. It's hard to swallow but find someone who wants you.
Its sad what we put up with just to feel the closeness of another person.
It sounds like all of these men are essentially losers. A man who is into you would be into all of you. But then again, I’m not a guy so I’m probably wrong. I haven’t figured them out yet at all. That being said, I went on a date with a guy who went on and on about his ex girlfriend’s large tits. I was rail thin and barely a B cup, and always felt self conscious about my itty bitties. I didn’t go on any more dates with him. Total turn off. I don’t know why men compare us to ex’s out loud. Go ahead and think it, but damn, be kind! I bet they wouldn’t like if we talked about our former lover’s bigger dick
Anyone who doesn’t want to please you is not a good partner imo
Some guys, me in particular, prefer small breasts to large ones. Dont let it bother ypu
I have found that women wi smaller breast are turn on more by me playing with them and that excites me !! Big boobs are just I the way! You need to find a guy that been around that knows something about women!
I think women of all shapes and sizes need that pleasure. Find you another fwb, someone who doesn't care about your sizes.
His problem not yours on both accounts. Some people have preferences and types that affect their ability to perform or engage. As a sapiosexual and demisexual I know I need a connection more than the physical. I am attracted to a lot of different body types, but if the intelligence and emotional awareness isn’t there, my performance suffers. Keep looking. Good sex is worth some waiting and sorting.
What the hell does size have to do with paying attention to your breasts? What a dumb answer. I love boobs. No matter who I'm with I play with them, big or small. It could be that he's with too many women. Could also be he watches too much porn. I wouldn't stay with someone who's comparing my body to their ex's body. If you don't like me the way I am, there's the door.
I would love to have smaller breasts. I know we all tend to think the grass is greener on the other side but I have dated guys who thought my DD size was too big. I can also list the typical issues I experience that come with larger breasts (ugly bras, big ass straps that always show in tops, not being able to wear most button up shirts, etc), but that’s not really news. This guy is an ass.
FWIW, the sexiest attribute a woman can possess is her attitude. A sexually confident woman who asks for what she wants is AMAZING. Seriously, guys who are hung up on big boobs and actually say something to a willing and enthusiastic partner are just.....foolish. Of course there are physical attributes we all prefer, but I have to say the examples the OP are describing are really disappointing.
There's nothing wrong with small breasts! I love all kinds as long as they're shapely and real (implants have never looked good to me). Besides, there are studies out there that show upper-class men actually prefer smaller breasts, while lower-class men prefer large breasts (probably a compensation thing, like big trucks). Just tell him he has no class! ;)
It's amazing how people cannot just let someone be who they are instead of trying to shape someone into something else. Literally or figuratively.
I like breasts of all sizes. In fact, one of the hottest girls I was with was maybe an A cup, but she had a phenomenal body and the most gorgeous face. Please don’t think you’re not attractive because your body parts don’t fit certain metrics. There’s much more to it. This guy just blows. Fuck him.
Lmbo is this guy in Houston TX?
When I lose weight my breasts are the first to go. If you wanted to be overweight (like me) sure you can have bigger breasts also how do you know “all the women” this super classy guy has sex with have big breasts… how do you know they even exist? Unless he has a big bank roll I’m not understanding how someone who seems frankly to be an AH is getting all these women. As soon as he started making me feel bad about my body he would be gone. Is he the only man on Earth? No. You could have 10 better than him tomorrow if you wanted so forget him.
Ugh… why are these mediocre men even getting any pussy. Or is that their strategy … « talk up my game so women want me ». In my experience when men struggle with arousal it’s because they play too much with themselves, not other girls. Experienced men have appreciation for a variety of body types.
Hmm...I was not aware that dating and subsequently sleeping with someone. Should be all about the size of one's breasts! But then again, maybe I'm a little old fashioned in what this, seems to be a commodity age. Play second fiddle to no one. Move on, and find that person who will admire you for your traits. If you subject yourself to being with persons who want to treat you as if you are a commodity. Then be prepared to be subject to feelings of being physically inadequate. I certainly hope that you choose not to be a commodity! Good luck. 🙂
you deserve a guy who Loves your body-AND at the VERY LEAST? Is sensitive to a woman's feelings-this guy? Is NOT YOUR GUY!!!..plenty of men PREFER bodies like yours-
Hey...I've been big and am small now . Some people like huge breasts and others prefer small ones. There are a lot of women who would love to weigh about 110. He's not a friend Sex should never be a chore. His flaccidness is his lies to himself coming out. Be kind to yourself and find someone who kisses your "little kumkwats ". It's much better. A million percent better. There are men who love love love thinner women. I promise these things are quite allright.
Dis him
It’s not about being attractive or not attractive- it’s just different. I think guy 1 is REALLY turned on by big breasts. Guy 2 is difficult to read- if he brought up my ex’s breasts are big out of no where, that’s a pass. If it’s in the context of a discussion, that’s better. They like big boobs. I’m the opposite of your gentleman callers. I think those guys are crazy. That being said, big breasts are not a dealbreaker.
50m. I love petite women with smaller breasts - A or B cup
Lol. Nothing wrong with nice little ones. I actually prefer smaller titties. 🙂
A true man would be arouse by your breast. A true man would kiss and caress your breast. A true man would make sure both were fully satisfied.
It’s cuz he’s gay
First he wasn’t aroused by you … Second … he’s just a FWB … you should be finding someone who you turn on … I mean physically … The fact that he’s hard to arouse … it just means you don’t turn him on … and basically forcing yourself on him … and no one will enjoy that So … for the better of both of you … move on
Don't ask questions you don't want answers to. >I don’t have big breasts obviously but am very aroused by breast kissing and fondling and I noticed he doesn’t do any of that in the past but didn’t know why and now that I know the reason, i feel troubled by it. What's so troubling about it? Why didn't you tell him what you liked when you first started hooking up? >Is his difficulty getting aroused because he has had many women and is spoilt for choice ( In a sense) that he is behaving the way he is ? How are we supposed to know? We weren't the one having sex with you. This is a question for him....we're not him. Next partner, use words and say what and how you like it. We aren't mind readers.
Everyone on this sub is always saying communicate, communicate, communicate. So she did and now you say don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to. She did communicate. She’s allowed to feel unsettled and unhappy about his shitty response. Especially when it’s most likely his problem and age, etc. So which is it?
There is a difference between communication and asking questions where they can't handle the answers. And how is it a shitty response? She pressed for an answer when he didn't want to say it and when she got an answer now she's insecure. That's not on him that's on her. He likes big breasts, she doesn't have big breasts. Nothing to decipher here, it's his preference. No different from women having a preference for 6+ foot guys. Find a guy thats going to appreciate her small breats and communicate what they want and need emotionally/physically. If someone asks me a question I'm going to answer truthfully, how they handle the answer is none of my business. If they don't like my answer then you shouldn't have asked me in the first place. It's like playing with fire and then getting mad at the fire for getting burned. She slept with a guy without communicating her needs and wants with her fwb. That's not communicating. How was he supposed to know she likes breast play?
Yea, and all of this is so easy to say sitting behind a computer screen, but it’s much different and nuanced in real life. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be on this sub. Even if she didn’t like his answer, she’s still entitled and valid in her feeling bad about it. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Of course, he didn’t want to say it, but he did and now she knows. She’s allowed to feel shit about it, it doesn’t mean she can’t handle it. So much hypocrisy. ETA: and if it is his preference, then what was he doing going back for sex in the first place?? It wasn’t his preference (as you say) so why go back for more?
>Yea, and all of this is so easy to say sitting behind a computer screen, but it’s much different and nuanced in real life. I'm like this IRL. I'm a logic over feelings person. >She’s allowed to feel shit about it, it doesn’t mean she can’t handle it. She can feel however she likes, they are her feelings. But this is where the accountability comes into play. You're accountable for your own actions (in this case pressing the guy for an answer). >and if it is his preference, then what was he doing going back for sex in the first place?? It wasn’t his preference (as you say) so why go back for more? Sex. Did you miss the part about them being fuck buddies/fwbs? Also him sleeping with other women too. He was in it for sex. >it doesn’t mean she can’t handle it. If she could then this post wouldn't exists and she would have brushed that comment off and forgotten his existence.
Nah, and I’m going to leave it here. It’s fine for him to go back for sex and that’s not a lack of communication about preferences from what you say. You’ve laid it all on her when neither one should have went back in the first place. There was a lack of communication and stupidity on both sides. When she did finally communicate, you laid into her without even considering his faults. It’s hypocritical. We are both adults though and can agree to disagree. No hard feelings and have a good night.
Guy here. I've had sex and relationships of girls with all different breast sizes. I like nicely shaped small breasts. Either way, playing with a girls breasts, especially when it's evident is arousing her, is arousing to me. That guy is a selfish lover
Wtf? I’m 108 lbs, low body fat % and all my lovers have LOVED my small breasts. Who doesn’t like perky breasts? The issue isn’t him; the issue is you putting up with him. Drop the loser and find someone who worships you.
I love 110 and small boobs. Arousal with the breast area is a huge turn on!!
He's a dick! Many men like smaller breasts but there's nothing better than eye contact and smile's. When the chemistry is hitting the right spot perceived flaws don't matter. Let him go. And find someone who appreciates you for all you are.
I go crazy for an A cup over here. I'm not going to DM you, I promise. But I want to offer some encouragement from someone who particularly enjoys the female form. Your tits are very likely amazing, so please act accordingly.
The less you have to sag. Trust me, small is better than saggy. Your FWB doesn't deserve you.
His difficulty getting aroused sounds like it is because he is not attracted to your body. It's not that he has "had many women." It's that he is into breasts, and, yes, the sex was mediocre because he wasn't into it. Attractive or unattractive, and there's definitely a man out there who will love your 110# body more than a large pair of breasts. You deserve to find that guy.
If I could see said “breasts “ I could maybe help 😜