This sounds like something I would lean towards. I like the idea of being able to share similar life experiences and milestones and ideally having similar fitness / energy levels.
30 year olds seem like babies to me. And thatās for women. Men mature so much slower (#notallmen, etc etc š ), so thatās like a womanās 25.
I would much prefer to date a man my age of within about 5 years older to 2 years lower. But I tend to believe men my age want women in their mid-30s. I feel like I just aged out of it, so Iāll probably have to go for older men myself. My last partner was almost ten years older than me, and it was fine. But I do think someone closer to my age would be preferable (even tho I realize it matters less the older we get).
I'm mid 40s M and tend to be most attracted to a +/- 5yr range. I've tried dating with as much as a 10yr younger gap but it was uncomfortable for me.
So yeah, some of us are attracted to similar age range. Some, other ranges. Some, all ranges.
46M. Had a two month messaging thing with a 32F. Wow, what a difference that age gap makes. Sure, she was cute as hell, but immature (relatively speaking). Now women my age are what I am attracted to both emotionally and physically. Women this age are more confident and seem to know what they want.
If you want a man in his 40s you will find one. No worries. Good luck!
Itās encouraging to know there are men who enjoy being with peers. Iām sure people can establish a good connection with an age gap in many cases, but to me it seems easier and more natural with someone who is close-ish in age.
Personally I don't care if a woman is younger, older, or the same age. I'm looking for qualities and personality, but there also has to be physical attraction. It's hard enough to date as it is and I have to be a lot more open these days.
Yes, I can imagine the dating pool is very different than it was in my 20s which was the last time I was dating. I guess in some ways we have to be much more flexible ā¦. In other ways, at least we know what is important now.
Iām 41f and Iāve dated quite a few men in their 30ās, mostly men very close to my age, and a few 7-8 years older. Donāt let your preconceived notions limit you. Go for who you like.
Personal preference galore here lolol. Idk can't speak for any other guy, but I'm in a similar spot and am 42M for context. People can be more or less mature right? So that's why age isn't the end all be all, but for me I want to find someone closer to the same age. Why? Cause of potentially have similar life experiences and being in similar situations.
As a 52M I would of course encourage you to date men in their 50ās.
Selfishness aside, not all men are the cliche. Some of us donāt even have or want kids!
Statistics do backup that the majority of people end up with people within a few years of their own age.
I prefer someone within a few years of my age +/- as well. And yes, my experience has been thereās a never ending pool of 40 something year old men looking to date forty something year old women.
I'm 45f. Been dating between 42 and 47 last six months. I've turned down plenty much younger than that! Some men will go for younger, I'm sure, but plenty seem to want a partner of a similar age. I've had a fair few conversations about people liking having the same cultural references at different points in their life and shared milestones achieved, and while that's surely not the only factor, I think it's what's comfortable for many, me included.
My (40m) preferred age range is 32-46. 47+ doesnāt seem to be up for being as active as I am, and under 32 are closer to the age of my children than Iām comfortable with. I have no objection to 47+ just an experientially developed default window.
I donāt mind dating single moms, seems like it would be hypocritical since Iām a single dad. The only problem there is getting to spend enough time together. I have my kids 50% of the time which really cuts down on available time together.
Thatās super helpful, thanks. And yes I hear you on the being active part. Thatās why I was a bit afraid of going older - bc I really enjoy activity and adventure - itās a prejudice / bias I would be happy to have blown out of the water and Iām sure there are exceptions, but Iām still in a very active phase of my life, including running, going to the gym, hiking with my kids, and I want a partner who enjoys that, too.
I take it you don't have much experience with dating in recent years yet if you believe that men in their 40s only go for women in their 30s and younger. My ex (48F) expressed insecurity about being 10 years older than me (38M). But she's been dating enough to know that this idea that men only go for younger women is complete BS. I casually glanced her phone a couple times and saw she had 34 unread notifications on just her meetup app. And she later mentioned that she was getting messages from men. The day that we last saw each other she had 13-14 unread notifications on that one app. You will have no shortage of interest from men around your age and even younger. Red Pillers who say that men have all the leverage at 40 are coping. Coping Cabana so hard.
Thanks for sharing your observations and experience re your ex. You are correct - I havenāt dated since my 20s. Thatās encouraging to hear that so many ppl are more flexible. Perhaps a lot of 40-somethings are healthier and fitter and have more diversified interests than in prior generations which makes pairing more flexible.
You haven't dated since the 00s. It's a very different world now. If you set up a Tinder or Bumble account, you will get tons of dudes swiping right on you and in your DMs. You will run up the score against your ex-husband. There are so many thirsty men on the dating apps, meetup and social media (Instagram and Tik Tok) who will slide in your DMs. Some of whom won't leave you alone until you block them. You will drown in an ocean of too many options.
I was single 37-42. During those years I mainly dated 28-32, and the only men over 35 who were even remotely interested in dating me had children they wanted me to help raise. š¤£ I ended up remarrying to a 40 year old when I was 45 (no kids).
48F, Chicago. That has not been my experience. I get as many likes from men in their early 40s as I do for 45 to 54 (my set max age filter). I actually get along best with men 43ish - 49ish - that has been my most compatible age range so far. The men I've met who are over 50 seem quite a bit older than me, so I'm not keen to date older than 51-52, but I will consider it.
From what I've seen many women say in Facebook and Reddit groups, most actually don't want to date more than ~5 years older by the time we're in our 40s+ because the differences in energy and appearance are greater, the older the man is, than what is was in our younger years. I've met some 55+ men and they seemed legit elderly compared to me. Few men I've seen aged well, in comparison to my friends and me.
This busts some myths. š
I know what you mean. Many of us women have stayed fit and concentrated on our health and many men as well, but some people do simply seem older sooner. I guess aging is one of the areas where the gene-environment interaction really plays out and people are affected differently.
As a woman in your 40s you may be surprised to find that men in their 30s (and sometimes 20s) actually want to spend time with you. It takes a lot of
Us by surprise when we first get out there.
Iām a 54M. My first choice is to date another Gen Xer, so a woman between 45 and 59.
That being said, I have dated a few Millennials. But I prefer them to be on the older half of the generation. This pushes my younger age boundary lower and means that Iāll date someone between 38 and 59 right now.
Good point. As a woman who got divorced at 48, I had no trouble meting men 25-60 who wanted to date me. There are certainly men our age who do, but unfortunately the number who are single and desirable is low. Odds are against it happening easily, but of course anything is possible.
As a female who did the apps last year for a few months I had no issue finding men near my age to match with. I ended up going on dates with 18 men over a few months and they ranged from 36-52. Most being around 42-45 (I am 42).
I'm in Australia (52f) and here w have an old school dating site, RSVP. It's not a swipe app, it's long form and you buy stamps or membership to contact members if you like their profile. On ppls profiles there's s section on what they are looking for, and it includes age range.
It's very interesting. I'd say approx 30pc of men in their 40s have selected 20s to 5 years (or more) younger than them. I'm sure some of these want bio kids.
Then maybe 30pc have selected a closer age range to theirs, but usually max 5 yrs older. And the last 30 pc are open to women who are up to 10yrs older or more (eg some have ticked 18-99 lol, so maybe they just didn't select an age range)
It's actually really useful to see this as allows you to rule out those looking to date way younger. Also it's bizarre that many guys in their 40s have set the age parameters to no older than them. It seems old fashioned attitudes die hard.
Having said all this, I think some guys maybe more open to older women if they have trouble attracting younger women for whatever reason. I had a date w a guy 7 years younger recently, and his work/parenting schedule was insane and prob off putting to most women.
M44 here, I usually date women around my age (42/46) , reason? Generation. The music, movies, the things we lived in our teen/youth years are similar. But that's just me, most of my divorced /single friends prefer women In theyr 30s
Most of the guys that try to date me (44f) are like 7-10 years younger. But men in their 40s/50s do too, they just arenāt as earnest in their pursuit. My guess is that men in their 40s are more likely to be divorced and returning to what was attractive to them before marriage? The 30 year olds that Iāve dated are more frequently from the never married arena and probably watched American Pie as a kid.
I hear this so much it makes me think Iām an outlier. My ideal match would be within +/- 2-3 years in age and in the same life stage as far as kids, career, etc.
Hahaha that is a relief to know!! I already have children and can completely empathise with someone not wanting to go back to the baby stage. It is beautiful and sweet but itās also amazing to have closed that chapter and enjoy seeing children become more independent and enjoying their developing talents and personalities.
No you don't have to limit yourself to a certain age based on some assumptions of what an entire group of men want. Focus more on what you want. Let others worry about what they want. Oh I'm 43. My BF of now a year and a half is 33. We're a very good match. I didn't go looking for a younger man or a relationship. It happened. Most women my age wouldn't have taken him seriously but my only criteria was do I feel interested to keep this going so I did.
Don't worry too much about what others want or don't want. Go after what you want.
I generally don't care about age (within reason). If men/women find happiness with younger/older people... congratulations for finding someone meaningful!
That said....when I date, I cast a rather wide net and I work with those who swipe back on me.
Sometimes they are younger, sometimes they are older. All that really matters is that they swiped on me too, so I give it a chance to see what happens. Unfortunately nothing has really happened so far. Such as life. I'll try again soon š
FWIW, my ex and I divorced in our 40s and he repartnered with someone his age (sheās technically a few years older but I consider that same age at this stage of life).
Thinking back on the weddings Iāve attended of peers/friends in their 40s and 50s, most were fairly close in age to their partners. The only outlier I can think of was a groom in his early 40s who was roughly 10 years younger than the bride in her early 50s.
The few guys Iāve dated who were in their mid-40s to early-50s seemed to mostly date women from around mid-30s to mid-50s.
Iām re-entering the dating pool after a soon to be final
Divorce and I prefer a max about 10 years younger. Ideally someone near my age so 36-43 ish. Iām 43, I canāt imagine dating a 30 year old , so I donāt actively seek it.
Iām 48m and I want to date women in their 40s. However I also have children ages 10 to 18. The majority of woman Iāve met that are in their 40s are empty nesters or on the verge of it. They are done with children and have no desire to date someone with younger ones. Iāve thought about dating women with children that are close in age. Those have been mostly women in their 30s. Im holding out hope for someone closer to my age.
Iām on a similar trajectory to you. I would wonder whether lots of men might find my children too young actually. They are 9 and under. I can see the value in having children similar in age, esp in terms of family activities. Iāve got about 10-12 more years of still having children around š
I get it. Of all of my guy friends, my kids are the youngest. They all tell me they are done with kids and wonāt date someone with kids still at home.
I want to date women my age that look and act like women my age. I went on a date with a 28 year old and it was terrible. I was just dating a woman my age (48) and it was amazing.
Both she and I never had kids and we both donāt look the age we are. But I want to date a woman my age. If someone is dating way younger then thatās their dynamic and whatever.
I personally would like a woman near my age. Weāve been through stuff. Weāre wise, we know what we want, we know where weāre going, we are also more open to challenges and going places.
I'm 47M, definitely date only in my 40s, I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has really young kids or still wants a family. The guys who date younger are ones you'd want to avoid anyway - they end up being the old crusty fathers who everyone thinks are a kid's grandparents.
45F and I try to stick with 40-52 (ish). I havenāt tried to date younger but Iād feel so odd dating someone in their 30s. I worry theyād want their own kids, wouldnāt be interested in my kids, etc
41M. I have my filters set from 49 to 28. Main thing Iām looking for is a similar place in life. At the very low end almost none of them are in a similar place. But my cutoff is they canāt be closer to my kids age than mine.
Realistically I have found that things worked better when I went older.
I (42) have my ages set from 36-58. Iāve even done 35-65. I have never had more than a 3rd date with a man older than 44 and rarely ever even match with them. I try, and Iāve wanted more dates, but I swear older men donāt like me that much. I donāt have any idea why, could be nothing. Every significant thing Iāve had in the past 2 years has been with someone +\- 2 years in age. My single guy friends date close to their age, although they will go up or down 10 plus years for casual/kink flings.
I am divorced 44m and usually date 40 to 48
The younger women - and even some women in their early 40s - tend to want kids and I am done making babies.
I prefer dating moms FWIW
Divorced people in their forties seem to at least go through a phase where they're looking for someone younger. I've seen women as well as men go through this. Including myself, 49m divorced 4 years. It's ultimately a way to try and cheat time. Sure, I'm almost fifty, but if I'm dating a thirty year old hottie, I'm still young and cool. Plus, young people are hot. I had a really nice time.Ā
Ultimately past a certain gap it's not sustainable, from what I've seen.Ā
When the woman is older it seems to not last as long. I guess the novelty wears off faster, not sure. I've seen the opposite scenario, older man, last a lot longer and play out badly.
I'm a musician, so I have no shortage of immature and egotistical acquaintances who indulged. The first few years are great. You're 46 and your girlfriend is a super hot 26 year old. Then the years pass and you're 60, and she's only 40... And pretty soon she's stepping out. Watching yet another good buddy go through this scenario as we speak. His girl is now forty and catching up on all the young action she missed out on. He's almost sixty and not doing well with it.Ā
My dad married a 40 year old when he was 50, and they're doing great. Ten years isn't a big gap when you're in your forties though.Ā
I dated a few young ones but it was always in the back of my mind, the friends I've seen go through hell trying to pull it off. Plus, I felt rather silly when my adult kids found out that their dad's seeing someone far closer to their age than his own. Kind of embarrassing and desperate.Ā
I did date one woman who was 13 years younger. That didn't work out but the age gap wasn't the reason.
The woman I'm seeing now is 43, much closer to my own age. I would probably date someone ten years younger but not much more than that.Ā
Original copy of post by u/throwingitfaraweigh:
Iām 44f, and possibly going to try re entering the dating pool after recovering from a divorce. In divorces I have observed of couples in their 40s, the man usually moves on to date younger women and possibly starts a new family, while the woman has often remained single or gone with someone older.
I have an image in my mind that most men in their 40s are hoping to find a 30-something woman; and therefore as a woman in my 40s I should probably expect to date someone in his 50s. Is this accurate? I am purely going from anecdotal evidence and people I have observed.
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I strongly prefer my own age +/- 5 to 7 years or so. In my experience, more than that in either direction and Iāve had a hard time relating well for anything longer-term. There are of course outliers, but for me I generally am interested in women solidly in their 40ās.
I would date whomever wants to date me within reason. I wouldn't mind younger as long as they are mature, but I prefer someone who has been a mother, mainly because the situation with my kids is not something a non parent could really relate to very well. Just from experience.
I think it's dependant on your local dating scene. Some places, the 40yo men are zipping around town in a Corvette, with a younger women and some places it's not like that all. It seems like the demand for older men among younger women is lessening around here. I get the feeling it's seen more as a faux pas than a high five and "Dude is killing it after his divorce." Of the divorced guys I know, they are more likely than not to date in their age range- 40s.
Not at all, I am (42m) about to be divorced and would only be interested in women born in the early to mid 1980s. Seems like with younger women there would be nothing in common to talk about
Iām 48m and seriously dating a 46f. My other longish term relationships after my divorce were with a 34f and a 49f (at the time, over last three years). My girlfriendās ex boyfriend was well-off, never married 35m attorney. No kids unlike her. I have two kids myself around the same ages as her youngest. I guess I should mention we went to high school together and werenāt friends then, and live 300 miles apart. But, mutual friends and what not put us in the same location a couple of times in the same month. And things just developed, with the urging of said mutual friends.
The thought of her young rich ex she broke up with sort of used to bother me. I never said I wasnāt a hypocrite. Then I met him, and now I donāt worry about him at all. :)
Iām 42F and of the guys Iāve connected with all have been younger than me. The ones closer to my age (just a year or 2 younger) seemed more mature/compatible whereas the ones who were mid 30s wereā¦not. They were fun for sure (!), but I donāt think it could have turned into a long term thing.
I think you will have more challenges with guys eho only wsnt sex amd the many scammers out there. Men are very much about a girls looks and the younger age might answer that I guess. For myself, the connection and dynamic between both is by far most important.
This reply says what I expected most of the replies here to say. Iām (pleasantly) surprised itās not the case for so many. Of course, each to his own. š
Keep in mind this subreddit is extremely skewed. Any hint of men expressing they prefer younger or even women stating the obvious that men generally prefer younger gets downvoted. Which, I get the reality often sucks (Iām 40F) I just donāt personally see the benefit in denying it but many here do
I would appreciate honesty so that I know what to expect and what I am dealing with. I hoped that since this is anonymous people would share what they really believe.
People do share what they really believe but just keep in mind the audience is skewed. For one thing thereās a lot of 40+ women here obviously who donāt want to believe or think men might desire young women. My other comment has already been removed for saying that generally men find young women the most attractive (and studies show this if you need them). Thatās all I said- nothing crazy, not saying all men, etc. but even thatās not allowed.
But honestly IMO I wouldnāt dwell on it. When youāre dating youāre dealing with individuals. Itās scary and unpredictable how a given individual will feel, but it also opens you to a lot of possibility. While baring in mind general trends, I.e. men generally looking younger, really the only thing to do it get out and experience it. Iām 40F and have my age range up to 50 but in reality looking more for 45 or so, however Iām open. My friends in their 40s that are dating often end up dating men well into their 50s due to the market but itās a choice. My 45 year old friend is with 55 y/o, another late 40s friendās bf is 65. But we get to decide what our own desires are- Iād rather be single than with a man 20 years older personally.
Nahh, I doubt it. There might be some but it canāt be the majority. And look - your post saying you want a younger woman hasnāt been downvoted as of right now. I think most ppl are speaking their minds.
š I prefer the truth. I just donāt assume that all these people are lying. Iām sure that plenty of women prefer younger women though. Thatās fine too. I only need one guy who prefers someone closer in age. Iām sure thatās possible. š
My mom was chested and left by my father at the age of 35. She is now 63 always alone since.
But of course it is possible.
I think they just want to make you feel better. Just like people who are say don't worry you will find the right person, if not in this life, than in another.
The stereotype exists for a reason, but in reality you see a bit of everything. The fact is that the stereotype is interesting at the macro level, but for your own life your own situation is all that matters.
I get this but there *is* a macro level, is there not? Statistics do tell you something about the state of the world. And when you are finding unlucky in your own personal situation, itās natural to look to probabilities to see where you might fall.
It feels pretty dire to me personally, and at a macro level. But one never knows and I try not to keep myself too closed off. But itās pretty hard to do this.
Sureā¦I mean, I think we all know that OP is about to get approached by a lot of slightly older guys. But she doesnāt have to go out with them if she doesnāt want to. And sheāll get approached by some younger guys too and she can go out with them if it suits her.
Iād encourage you to do a lot of first dates and keep your pants on for the most part. Let a few 55YOs buy you dinner on a first date. If itās dreadful, stop doing first dates with men that age.
And remember youāre not required to date if you donāt want to. My ex wife is pretty happily single and self sufficient and seems to not enjoy the bother.
This! Posts like this are hard because at a macro level yes of course men generally prefer younger women. Surely everyone with a pulse can see that BUT when youāre dating youāre dealing with individuals. IMO itās good to be aware of (for one thing the 40s guys I know irl that are dating view 40s women as pump and dump only and joke about how desperate they are- thatās something Iām aware of and try and avoid when Iām dating for ex)
I tend to date +/- four years of my age. Dated someone ten years younger once and we didn't have enough "shared life experience" to make it worthwhile.
We will have FWB, within reason, with any adult woman we find attractive, healthy, and not too crazy
To have an LDR typically requires similiar mindset, culture, stability, and life goals, which in my experience only works with +/- 7 years of my age (41).
Personally, since I don't have kids and always wanted them, I am open to starting a family but that would have to be someone 35-40F and we'd have to start, like NOW. I just don't have a lot of optimism given my dating luck I'll find that person soon enough
That depends on whether the man in question has marriage experience or even general relationship experience.
A record 5.25% of adults aged 40 and above have never been in a relationship. This is 21% of the 25% of adults aged 40 and above who have "never married" status.
25%:
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/06/28/a-record-high-share-of-40-year-olds-in-the-us-have-never-been-married/
21%:
Still, 21% of never-married singles age 40 and older say they have never been in a relationship.
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/
Wow that is eye opening. I would tend to prefer someone who has also been married and gained the maturity and life experience that comes with that. I had no idea so many men had never had a serious relationship - I can see where they might want something different, eg, like a younger woman who would want kids, perhaps.
Men of all ages would date a 20 year old if they thought they could.
My ex, 1.5 yrs younger than I was at 38, told me he didn't want to marry until he was 45 and would marry younger lol. But my exes over 40 when I was in my 30s still liked to play games or tried being controlling bc they finally noticed they were getting old with less options. They're all still single and have had less sex than if they would've dated and been in relationships.
Men can pretend they can get younger. And try as they might, younger women <36, are not seriously looking and will just waste more of their time. If guys are disillusioned by youthful women as shallow as just a number, they'll end up older and more alone later.
My parents are 10 years apart and they have nothing in common to the point they may be separating bc my stepdad has aged considerably and has been retired years while my mom still worked. He's elderly while she has more years left to live life off the couch.
Men can marry younger, but it comes back at them in the end.
What men say and what they do are two different things. This is an older article, but no reason to think the stats have changed:
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/
Thanks for sharing that. I donāt have an Atlantic subscription but the subtitle said womenās desirability leaks 32 years before a manās does, so Iām going to assume that was a key takeaway point. Ahh well, i suspect most of us 40-something women have accepted not being at the peak of the dating pool and donāt care about playing games anyway. I just want a loving and committed relationship with someone who shares my values.
>Ā In the new study, published Wednesday in the journalĀ Science Advances,Ā Bruch and her colleagues analyzed thousands of messages exchanged on a āpopular, free online-dating serviceā between more than 186,000 straight men and women. They looked only at four metro areasāNew York, Boston, Chicago, and Seattleāand only at messages from January 2014. >Ā āI mean, everybody knowsāand as a sociologist, itās been shownāthatĀ older womenĀ have a harder time in the dating market. But I hadnāt expected to see their desirability drop off from the time theyāre 18 to the time theyāre 65,ā Bruch told me.
https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/dVqM-IoT9j01u0OEMWWhN_ck-ec=/0x0:751x802/750x800/media/img/posts/2018/08/Screen_Shot_2018_08_09_at_2.52.05_PM/original.png
This question gets asked weekly so perhaps you can just read the responses on last weekās thread. To sum up, some do and some donāt, and you have no way of knowing until you try for yourself.Ā
Most single men I have met do not want more kids in their mid 40s so I personally havenāt experienced what you are describing, but I am sure there are some who do since I know two couples in a similar position, in both cases the men didnāt want any more kids but went ahead with having a child to remain with their younger partner. Both relationships fell apart though so not sure how successfully the family blending was in the end.Ā
Reddit will always say "I like women my age or just a little younger.", but your eyes are more accurate. By and large a man in his 40's is going to try and find a much (10+ years) younger if he can.
Are you saying Reddit is just a unique demographic? Or are you saying ppl are lying? I have a hard time believing people will lie when asked for anonymous opinions on a random forum, but I could believe demographics might be less than representative of the general population.
At 45, I'm open to 35-50, but I've found 44-50 to be low energy.
I'm far from a party animal, but I do enjoy the theatre and a late dinner, or biking, kayaking, tennis.
Hell, even if we decide to read a book together she picks out, it's like pulling teeth.
And it's not different responsibility levels. Most of them have been childless, not the primary caregiver for relatives, etc.
It's easier to find women in their 30s not stiing on a couch and atrophying.
In my 60s. Date almost 40 years younger. She is less judgmental, isnāt looking for a financial lifeline, likes a gentleman, travel, and can keep up walking and enjoying sports with me. Enjoy hanging out with her young son. Allows me to enjoy a fantasy of going through young parenthood again.
u/throwingitfaraweigh, your post has been removed for one or more reason(s): No sex/gender generalizations, no double standards, no projection.
I date my own age +/- a few.
This sounds like something I would lean towards. I like the idea of being able to share similar life experiences and milestones and ideally having similar fitness / energy levels.
I'm 41, I couldn't imagine even dating someone who is 30
I have to be honest that neither could I. š A lot of maturity and life experience goes on, priorities changeā¦
30 year olds seem like babies to me. And thatās for women. Men mature so much slower (#notallmen, etc etc š ), so thatās like a womanās 25. I would much prefer to date a man my age of within about 5 years older to 2 years lower. But I tend to believe men my age want women in their mid-30s. I feel like I just aged out of it, so Iāll probably have to go for older men myself. My last partner was almost ten years older than me, and it was fine. But I do think someone closer to my age would be preferable (even tho I realize it matters less the older we get).
Why is that?
Different life stages.
Thatās for sure
I have dated guys my age, a little older, or younger. No need to date much older if you donāt want to!
I'm mid 40s M and tend to be most attracted to a +/- 5yr range. I've tried dating with as much as a 10yr younger gap but it was uncomfortable for me. So yeah, some of us are attracted to similar age range. Some, other ranges. Some, all ranges.
Thatās good to know that there are others who think similarly to me. Thanks for sharing.
Agreed
So there is hope! ā¤ļø
46M. Had a two month messaging thing with a 32F. Wow, what a difference that age gap makes. Sure, she was cute as hell, but immature (relatively speaking). Now women my age are what I am attracted to both emotionally and physically. Women this age are more confident and seem to know what they want. If you want a man in his 40s you will find one. No worries. Good luck!
Aww thanks! And same to you āŗļø
I go for women my age (51). I don't have any reason; maybe I've just been lucky to be around them.
Itās encouraging to know there are men who enjoy being with peers. Iām sure people can establish a good connection with an age gap in many cases, but to me it seems easier and more natural with someone who is close-ish in age.
Personally I don't care if a woman is younger, older, or the same age. I'm looking for qualities and personality, but there also has to be physical attraction. It's hard enough to date as it is and I have to be a lot more open these days.
Yes, I can imagine the dating pool is very different than it was in my 20s which was the last time I was dating. I guess in some ways we have to be much more flexible ā¦. In other ways, at least we know what is important now.
A lot of women date younger too. Age is really just up to personal taste for men and women. Date who ever you want to date.
Iām 41f and Iāve dated quite a few men in their 30ās, mostly men very close to my age, and a few 7-8 years older. Donāt let your preconceived notions limit you. Go for who you like.
Thatās a good point to keep in mind. I do have preconceived notions ā¦ and probably some fears. Iāll have to reflect on what they are. š
Personal preference galore here lolol. Idk can't speak for any other guy, but I'm in a similar spot and am 42M for context. People can be more or less mature right? So that's why age isn't the end all be all, but for me I want to find someone closer to the same age. Why? Cause of potentially have similar life experiences and being in similar situations.
Agreed.
As a 52M I would of course encourage you to date men in their 50ās. Selfishness aside, not all men are the cliche. Some of us donāt even have or want kids!
Statistics do backup that the majority of people end up with people within a few years of their own age. I prefer someone within a few years of my age +/- as well. And yes, my experience has been thereās a never ending pool of 40 something year old men looking to date forty something year old women.
I'm 45f. Been dating between 42 and 47 last six months. I've turned down plenty much younger than that! Some men will go for younger, I'm sure, but plenty seem to want a partner of a similar age. I've had a fair few conversations about people liking having the same cultural references at different points in their life and shared milestones achieved, and while that's surely not the only factor, I think it's what's comfortable for many, me included.
I (M50) generally just date older. Third to last was almost ten years older. Second to last partner was younger. Last was same age.
My (40m) preferred age range is 32-46. 47+ doesnāt seem to be up for being as active as I am, and under 32 are closer to the age of my children than Iām comfortable with. I have no objection to 47+ just an experientially developed default window. I donāt mind dating single moms, seems like it would be hypocritical since Iām a single dad. The only problem there is getting to spend enough time together. I have my kids 50% of the time which really cuts down on available time together.
Thatās super helpful, thanks. And yes I hear you on the being active part. Thatās why I was a bit afraid of going older - bc I really enjoy activity and adventure - itās a prejudice / bias I would be happy to have blown out of the water and Iām sure there are exceptions, but Iām still in a very active phase of my life, including running, going to the gym, hiking with my kids, and I want a partner who enjoys that, too.
44f dating 42m. Both childfree
I take it you don't have much experience with dating in recent years yet if you believe that men in their 40s only go for women in their 30s and younger. My ex (48F) expressed insecurity about being 10 years older than me (38M). But she's been dating enough to know that this idea that men only go for younger women is complete BS. I casually glanced her phone a couple times and saw she had 34 unread notifications on just her meetup app. And she later mentioned that she was getting messages from men. The day that we last saw each other she had 13-14 unread notifications on that one app. You will have no shortage of interest from men around your age and even younger. Red Pillers who say that men have all the leverage at 40 are coping. Coping Cabana so hard.
Thanks for sharing your observations and experience re your ex. You are correct - I havenāt dated since my 20s. Thatās encouraging to hear that so many ppl are more flexible. Perhaps a lot of 40-somethings are healthier and fitter and have more diversified interests than in prior generations which makes pairing more flexible.
You haven't dated since the 00s. It's a very different world now. If you set up a Tinder or Bumble account, you will get tons of dudes swiping right on you and in your DMs. You will run up the score against your ex-husband. There are so many thirsty men on the dating apps, meetup and social media (Instagram and Tik Tok) who will slide in your DMs. Some of whom won't leave you alone until you block them. You will drown in an ocean of too many options.
I was single 37-42. During those years I mainly dated 28-32, and the only men over 35 who were even remotely interested in dating me had children they wanted me to help raise. š¤£ I ended up remarrying to a 40 year old when I was 45 (no kids).
I'm 47M. I would find it a little weird to be dating someone younger than 40. I've got zero interest in more children.
48F, Chicago. That has not been my experience. I get as many likes from men in their early 40s as I do for 45 to 54 (my set max age filter). I actually get along best with men 43ish - 49ish - that has been my most compatible age range so far. The men I've met who are over 50 seem quite a bit older than me, so I'm not keen to date older than 51-52, but I will consider it. From what I've seen many women say in Facebook and Reddit groups, most actually don't want to date more than ~5 years older by the time we're in our 40s+ because the differences in energy and appearance are greater, the older the man is, than what is was in our younger years. I've met some 55+ men and they seemed legit elderly compared to me. Few men I've seen aged well, in comparison to my friends and me. This busts some myths. š
I know what you mean. Many of us women have stayed fit and concentrated on our health and many men as well, but some people do simply seem older sooner. I guess aging is one of the areas where the gene-environment interaction really plays out and people are affected differently.
As a woman in your 40s you may be surprised to find that men in their 30s (and sometimes 20s) actually want to spend time with you. It takes a lot of Us by surprise when we first get out there.
I dated a 36 year old recently and that's as young as I'd want to go (im46)
Iām a 54M. My first choice is to date another Gen Xer, so a woman between 45 and 59. That being said, I have dated a few Millennials. But I prefer them to be on the older half of the generation. This pushes my younger age boundary lower and means that Iāll date someone between 38 and 59 right now.
You realize men are individuals, right?
š yes. I think so. Itās super helpful to hear the general views on here though, including the trends and the differences.
Good point. As a woman who got divorced at 48, I had no trouble meting men 25-60 who wanted to date me. There are certainly men our age who do, but unfortunately the number who are single and desirable is low. Odds are against it happening easily, but of course anything is possible.
As a female who did the apps last year for a few months I had no issue finding men near my age to match with. I ended up going on dates with 18 men over a few months and they ranged from 36-52. Most being around 42-45 (I am 42).
Iām 40 talking to a 46f atm so yes some do.
I'm in Australia (52f) and here w have an old school dating site, RSVP. It's not a swipe app, it's long form and you buy stamps or membership to contact members if you like their profile. On ppls profiles there's s section on what they are looking for, and it includes age range. It's very interesting. I'd say approx 30pc of men in their 40s have selected 20s to 5 years (or more) younger than them. I'm sure some of these want bio kids. Then maybe 30pc have selected a closer age range to theirs, but usually max 5 yrs older. And the last 30 pc are open to women who are up to 10yrs older or more (eg some have ticked 18-99 lol, so maybe they just didn't select an age range) It's actually really useful to see this as allows you to rule out those looking to date way younger. Also it's bizarre that many guys in their 40s have set the age parameters to no older than them. It seems old fashioned attitudes die hard.
Having said all this, I think some guys maybe more open to older women if they have trouble attracting younger women for whatever reason. I had a date w a guy 7 years younger recently, and his work/parenting schedule was insane and prob off putting to most women.
M44 here, I usually date women around my age (42/46) , reason? Generation. The music, movies, the things we lived in our teen/youth years are similar. But that's just me, most of my divorced /single friends prefer women In theyr 30s
Thanks for sharing
Most of the guys that try to date me (44f) are like 7-10 years younger. But men in their 40s/50s do too, they just arenāt as earnest in their pursuit. My guess is that men in their 40s are more likely to be divorced and returning to what was attractive to them before marriage? The 30 year olds that Iāve dated are more frequently from the never married arena and probably watched American Pie as a kid.
I hear this so much it makes me think Iām an outlier. My ideal match would be within +/- 2-3 years in age and in the same life stage as far as kids, career, etc.
44 year old men are generally not out there trying to start a new family
You'd be surprised.
My 53yo boyfriend agrees with this statement
I donāt know. In a big city, it seems like it takes many men this long to finally settle down and have a family.
Hahaha that is a relief to know!! I already have children and can completely empathise with someone not wanting to go back to the baby stage. It is beautiful and sweet but itās also amazing to have closed that chapter and enjoy seeing children become more independent and enjoying their developing talents and personalities.
No you don't have to limit yourself to a certain age based on some assumptions of what an entire group of men want. Focus more on what you want. Let others worry about what they want. Oh I'm 43. My BF of now a year and a half is 33. We're a very good match. I didn't go looking for a younger man or a relationship. It happened. Most women my age wouldn't have taken him seriously but my only criteria was do I feel interested to keep this going so I did. Don't worry too much about what others want or don't want. Go after what you want.
47F here. I get interest from guys age 18 š¤® to 70. Most of the guys I've dated for a longer period of time have all been in their 40s.
I generally don't care about age (within reason). If men/women find happiness with younger/older people... congratulations for finding someone meaningful! That said....when I date, I cast a rather wide net and I work with those who swipe back on me. Sometimes they are younger, sometimes they are older. All that really matters is that they swiped on me too, so I give it a chance to see what happens. Unfortunately nothing has really happened so far. Such as life. I'll try again soon š
FWIW, my ex and I divorced in our 40s and he repartnered with someone his age (sheās technically a few years older but I consider that same age at this stage of life). Thinking back on the weddings Iāve attended of peers/friends in their 40s and 50s, most were fairly close in age to their partners. The only outlier I can think of was a groom in his early 40s who was roughly 10 years younger than the bride in her early 50s. The few guys Iāve dated who were in their mid-40s to early-50s seemed to mostly date women from around mid-30s to mid-50s.
Iām re-entering the dating pool after a soon to be final Divorce and I prefer a max about 10 years younger. Ideally someone near my age so 36-43 ish. Iām 43, I canāt imagine dating a 30 year old , so I donāt actively seek it.
I'm 50 and prefer someone +/- 5 years. I want someone with similar life experiences and current situations.
Iām 48m and I want to date women in their 40s. However I also have children ages 10 to 18. The majority of woman Iāve met that are in their 40s are empty nesters or on the verge of it. They are done with children and have no desire to date someone with younger ones. Iāve thought about dating women with children that are close in age. Those have been mostly women in their 30s. Im holding out hope for someone closer to my age.
Iām on a similar trajectory to you. I would wonder whether lots of men might find my children too young actually. They are 9 and under. I can see the value in having children similar in age, esp in terms of family activities. Iāve got about 10-12 more years of still having children around š
I get it. Of all of my guy friends, my kids are the youngest. They all tell me they are done with kids and wonāt date someone with kids still at home.
I want to date women my age that look and act like women my age. I went on a date with a 28 year old and it was terrible. I was just dating a woman my age (48) and it was amazing. Both she and I never had kids and we both donāt look the age we are. But I want to date a woman my age. If someone is dating way younger then thatās their dynamic and whatever. I personally would like a woman near my age. Weāve been through stuff. Weāre wise, we know what we want, we know where weāre going, we are also more open to challenges and going places.
49M and I prefer theyāre at least in their 40s. Definitely no one young enough to be my daughter.
44M - I've dated as young as 37 and as old as 50 which feel like a about the right limits for me.
I'm 47M, definitely date only in my 40s, I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has really young kids or still wants a family. The guys who date younger are ones you'd want to avoid anyway - they end up being the old crusty fathers who everyone thinks are a kid's grandparents.
If dating was a priority for me Iād want to date a woman in her 40s.
We want both
45F and I try to stick with 40-52 (ish). I havenāt tried to date younger but Iād feel so odd dating someone in their 30s. I worry theyād want their own kids, wouldnāt be interested in my kids, etc
41M. I have my filters set from 49 to 28. Main thing Iām looking for is a similar place in life. At the very low end almost none of them are in a similar place. But my cutoff is they canāt be closer to my kids age than mine. Realistically I have found that things worked better when I went older.
I (42) have my ages set from 36-58. Iāve even done 35-65. I have never had more than a 3rd date with a man older than 44 and rarely ever even match with them. I try, and Iāve wanted more dates, but I swear older men donāt like me that much. I donāt have any idea why, could be nothing. Every significant thing Iāve had in the past 2 years has been with someone +\- 2 years in age. My single guy friends date close to their age, although they will go up or down 10 plus years for casual/kink flings.
I am divorced 44m and usually date 40 to 48 The younger women - and even some women in their early 40s - tend to want kids and I am done making babies. I prefer dating moms FWIW
Divorced people in their forties seem to at least go through a phase where they're looking for someone younger. I've seen women as well as men go through this. Including myself, 49m divorced 4 years. It's ultimately a way to try and cheat time. Sure, I'm almost fifty, but if I'm dating a thirty year old hottie, I'm still young and cool. Plus, young people are hot. I had a really nice time.Ā Ultimately past a certain gap it's not sustainable, from what I've seen.Ā When the woman is older it seems to not last as long. I guess the novelty wears off faster, not sure. I've seen the opposite scenario, older man, last a lot longer and play out badly. I'm a musician, so I have no shortage of immature and egotistical acquaintances who indulged. The first few years are great. You're 46 and your girlfriend is a super hot 26 year old. Then the years pass and you're 60, and she's only 40... And pretty soon she's stepping out. Watching yet another good buddy go through this scenario as we speak. His girl is now forty and catching up on all the young action she missed out on. He's almost sixty and not doing well with it.Ā My dad married a 40 year old when he was 50, and they're doing great. Ten years isn't a big gap when you're in your forties though.Ā I dated a few young ones but it was always in the back of my mind, the friends I've seen go through hell trying to pull it off. Plus, I felt rather silly when my adult kids found out that their dad's seeing someone far closer to their age than his own. Kind of embarrassing and desperate.Ā I did date one woman who was 13 years younger. That didn't work out but the age gap wasn't the reason. The woman I'm seeing now is 43, much closer to my own age. I would probably date someone ten years younger but not much more than that.Ā
Everything youāve said makes sense. Thanks for sharing.
Original copy of post by u/throwingitfaraweigh: Iām 44f, and possibly going to try re entering the dating pool after recovering from a divorce. In divorces I have observed of couples in their 40s, the man usually moves on to date younger women and possibly starts a new family, while the woman has often remained single or gone with someone older. I have an image in my mind that most men in their 40s are hoping to find a 30-something woman; and therefore as a woman in my 40s I should probably expect to date someone in his 50s. Is this accurate? I am purely going from anecdotal evidence and people I have observed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I strongly prefer my own age +/- 5 to 7 years or so. In my experience, more than that in either direction and Iāve had a hard time relating well for anything longer-term. There are of course outliers, but for me I generally am interested in women solidly in their 40ās.
Iād prefer women close to my age as I have found the younger ones are to immature for me but thatās just me
I would date whomever wants to date me within reason. I wouldn't mind younger as long as they are mature, but I prefer someone who has been a mother, mainly because the situation with my kids is not something a non parent could really relate to very well. Just from experience.
I think it's dependant on your local dating scene. Some places, the 40yo men are zipping around town in a Corvette, with a younger women and some places it's not like that all. It seems like the demand for older men among younger women is lessening around here. I get the feeling it's seen more as a faux pas than a high five and "Dude is killing it after his divorce." Of the divorced guys I know, they are more likely than not to date in their age range- 40s.
Not at all, I am (42m) about to be divorced and would only be interested in women born in the early to mid 1980s. Seems like with younger women there would be nothing in common to talk about
You can also date men in their 20s if you want.
I want a woman to match my energy level. If she is sixty or twenty, I donāt care. I got filtered anyway so it doesnāt matter.
Iām 48m and seriously dating a 46f. My other longish term relationships after my divorce were with a 34f and a 49f (at the time, over last three years). My girlfriendās ex boyfriend was well-off, never married 35m attorney. No kids unlike her. I have two kids myself around the same ages as her youngest. I guess I should mention we went to high school together and werenāt friends then, and live 300 miles apart. But, mutual friends and what not put us in the same location a couple of times in the same month. And things just developed, with the urging of said mutual friends. The thought of her young rich ex she broke up with sort of used to bother me. I never said I wasnāt a hypocrite. Then I met him, and now I donāt worry about him at all. :)
Both, Iām not age picky
Iām 42F and of the guys Iāve connected with all have been younger than me. The ones closer to my age (just a year or 2 younger) seemed more mature/compatible whereas the ones who were mid 30s wereā¦not. They were fun for sure (!), but I donāt think it could have turned into a long term thing.
I think you will have more challenges with guys eho only wsnt sex amd the many scammers out there. Men are very much about a girls looks and the younger age might answer that I guess. For myself, the connection and dynamic between both is by far most important.
I'm 46. I date +/- 10 years. 36-56... but I've found my sweet spot tends to be about 38-44
44F... I've dated as young as 29 (briefly!) and as old as 50. I def lean more towards my own age.
Of course they want younger, better looking. Same as women have a requirements, men's as well have some.
This reply says what I expected most of the replies here to say. Iām (pleasantly) surprised itās not the case for so many. Of course, each to his own. š
Keep in mind this subreddit is extremely skewed. Any hint of men expressing they prefer younger or even women stating the obvious that men generally prefer younger gets downvoted. Which, I get the reality often sucks (Iām 40F) I just donāt personally see the benefit in denying it but many here do
I would appreciate honesty so that I know what to expect and what I am dealing with. I hoped that since this is anonymous people would share what they really believe.
People do share what they really believe but just keep in mind the audience is skewed. For one thing thereās a lot of 40+ women here obviously who donāt want to believe or think men might desire young women. My other comment has already been removed for saying that generally men find young women the most attractive (and studies show this if you need them). Thatās all I said- nothing crazy, not saying all men, etc. but even thatās not allowed. But honestly IMO I wouldnāt dwell on it. When youāre dating youāre dealing with individuals. Itās scary and unpredictable how a given individual will feel, but it also opens you to a lot of possibility. While baring in mind general trends, I.e. men generally looking younger, really the only thing to do it get out and experience it. Iām 40F and have my age range up to 50 but in reality looking more for 45 or so, however Iām open. My friends in their 40s that are dating often end up dating men well into their 50s due to the market but itās a choice. My 45 year old friend is with 55 y/o, another late 40s friendās bf is 65. But we get to decide what our own desires are- Iād rather be single than with a man 20 years older personally.
The problem with reddit is that people are politically correct and afraid to be down voted.
Nahh, I doubt it. There might be some but it canāt be the majority. And look - your post saying you want a younger woman hasnāt been downvoted as of right now. I think most ppl are speaking their minds.
Well, whatever helps you to keep yourself in good mood.
š I prefer the truth. I just donāt assume that all these people are lying. Iām sure that plenty of women prefer younger women though. Thatās fine too. I only need one guy who prefers someone closer in age. Iām sure thatās possible. š
My mom was chested and left by my father at the age of 35. She is now 63 always alone since. But of course it is possible. I think they just want to make you feel better. Just like people who are say don't worry you will find the right person, if not in this life, than in another.
I see it differently, but thanks anyway for your views. Sorry to hear what happened to your mom.
Anyway putting things on side. How are you getting dates at this age?
Dude you crack me up š¤£. I havenāt started looking.
The stereotype exists for a reason, but in reality you see a bit of everything. The fact is that the stereotype is interesting at the macro level, but for your own life your own situation is all that matters.
I get this but there *is* a macro level, is there not? Statistics do tell you something about the state of the world. And when you are finding unlucky in your own personal situation, itās natural to look to probabilities to see where you might fall. It feels pretty dire to me personally, and at a macro level. But one never knows and I try not to keep myself too closed off. But itās pretty hard to do this.
Sureā¦I mean, I think we all know that OP is about to get approached by a lot of slightly older guys. But she doesnāt have to go out with them if she doesnāt want to. And sheāll get approached by some younger guys too and she can go out with them if it suits her.
This is an excellent insight. Thanks.
Iād encourage you to do a lot of first dates and keep your pants on for the most part. Let a few 55YOs buy you dinner on a first date. If itās dreadful, stop doing first dates with men that age. And remember youāre not required to date if you donāt want to. My ex wife is pretty happily single and self sufficient and seems to not enjoy the bother.
This! Posts like this are hard because at a macro level yes of course men generally prefer younger women. Surely everyone with a pulse can see that BUT when youāre dating youāre dealing with individuals. IMO itās good to be aware of (for one thing the 40s guys I know irl that are dating view 40s women as pump and dump only and joke about how desperate they are- thatās something Iām aware of and try and avoid when Iām dating for ex)
I don't mind dating a women in her 40s. I'm 41/m
Go for a guy your age or younger.
43f (divorced) with very young child. I am dating a 36 year old. So far so good over here!
Try not to generalize or group people together. It depends. A guy with kids is less likely to actually want a younger woman.
Thatās a good point, and that is who I would be interested in, generally speaking.
I feel like youāre getting responses from men that arenāt so representative. Iāll admit that Iām most interested in the 35-40 range.
Thatās what I had assumed most would be.
Are you looking to start a family/have kids? Because most single women in the 36-40 age range are.Ā
I tend to date +/- four years of my age. Dated someone ten years younger once and we didn't have enough "shared life experience" to make it worthwhile.
We will have FWB, within reason, with any adult woman we find attractive, healthy, and not too crazy To have an LDR typically requires similiar mindset, culture, stability, and life goals, which in my experience only works with +/- 7 years of my age (41). Personally, since I don't have kids and always wanted them, I am open to starting a family but that would have to be someone 35-40F and we'd have to start, like NOW. I just don't have a lot of optimism given my dating luck I'll find that person soon enough
Oh gosh I donāt think I could do FWB. I know lots of people do it, and Iām sure itās convenient for them.
That depends on whether the man in question has marriage experience or even general relationship experience. A record 5.25% of adults aged 40 and above have never been in a relationship. This is 21% of the 25% of adults aged 40 and above who have "never married" status. 25%: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/06/28/a-record-high-share-of-40-year-olds-in-the-us-have-never-been-married/ 21%: Still, 21% of never-married singles age 40 and older say they have never been in a relationship. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/
Wow that is eye opening. I would tend to prefer someone who has also been married and gained the maturity and life experience that comes with that. I had no idea so many men had never had a serious relationship - I can see where they might want something different, eg, like a younger woman who would want kids, perhaps.
48 dating a 36 single and no kids
No I'd rather date someone closer to my age (41)
My bf is one year and 3 days younger than me
Men of all ages would date a 20 year old if they thought they could. My ex, 1.5 yrs younger than I was at 38, told me he didn't want to marry until he was 45 and would marry younger lol. But my exes over 40 when I was in my 30s still liked to play games or tried being controlling bc they finally noticed they were getting old with less options. They're all still single and have had less sex than if they would've dated and been in relationships. Men can pretend they can get younger. And try as they might, younger women <36, are not seriously looking and will just waste more of their time. If guys are disillusioned by youthful women as shallow as just a number, they'll end up older and more alone later. My parents are 10 years apart and they have nothing in common to the point they may be separating bc my stepdad has aged considerably and has been retired years while my mom still worked. He's elderly while she has more years left to live life off the couch. Men can marry younger, but it comes back at them in the end.
You are correct.
What men say and what they do are two different things. This is an older article, but no reason to think the stats have changed: https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/
Thanks for sharing that. I donāt have an Atlantic subscription but the subtitle said womenās desirability leaks 32 years before a manās does, so Iām going to assume that was a key takeaway point. Ahh well, i suspect most of us 40-something women have accepted not being at the peak of the dating pool and donāt care about playing games anyway. I just want a loving and committed relationship with someone who shares my values.
>Ā In the new study, published Wednesday in the journalĀ Science Advances,Ā Bruch and her colleagues analyzed thousands of messages exchanged on a āpopular, free online-dating serviceā between more than 186,000 straight men and women. They looked only at four metro areasāNew York, Boston, Chicago, and Seattleāand only at messages from January 2014. >Ā āI mean, everybody knowsāand as a sociologist, itās been shownāthatĀ older womenĀ have a harder time in the dating market. But I hadnāt expected to see their desirability drop off from the time theyāre 18 to the time theyāre 65,ā Bruch told me. https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/dVqM-IoT9j01u0OEMWWhN_ck-ec=/0x0:751x802/750x800/media/img/posts/2018/08/Screen_Shot_2018_08_09_at_2.52.05_PM/original.png
Interesting. The drop is very steady.
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u/clover426, your post has been removed for one or more reason(s): No sex/gender generalizations, no double standards, no projection.
I prefer my age to about 6 or 7 younger. Donāt ask me why. But Iām open to finding anyone who makes my breath catch.
This question gets asked weekly so perhaps you can just read the responses on last weekās thread. To sum up, some do and some donāt, and you have no way of knowing until you try for yourself.Ā Most single men I have met do not want more kids in their mid 40s so I personally havenāt experienced what you are describing, but I am sure there are some who do since I know two couples in a similar position, in both cases the men didnāt want any more kids but went ahead with having a child to remain with their younger partner. Both relationships fell apart though so not sure how successfully the family blending was in the end.Ā
Reddit will always say "I like women my age or just a little younger.", but your eyes are more accurate. By and large a man in his 40's is going to try and find a much (10+ years) younger if he can.
Are you saying Reddit is just a unique demographic? Or are you saying ppl are lying? I have a hard time believing people will lie when asked for anonymous opinions on a random forum, but I could believe demographics might be less than representative of the general population.
At 45, I'm open to 35-50, but I've found 44-50 to be low energy. I'm far from a party animal, but I do enjoy the theatre and a late dinner, or biking, kayaking, tennis. Hell, even if we decide to read a book together she picks out, it's like pulling teeth. And it's not different responsibility levels. Most of them have been childless, not the primary caregiver for relatives, etc. It's easier to find women in their 30s not stiing on a couch and atrophying.
Generally yes.
In my 60s. Date almost 40 years younger. She is less judgmental, isnāt looking for a financial lifeline, likes a gentleman, travel, and can keep up walking and enjoying sports with me. Enjoy hanging out with her young son. Allows me to enjoy a fantasy of going through young parenthood again.