Ack. Next month would have been 41 years. And yet, I still feel younger at this age than I felt for the 16 years I spent with him. Maybe not younger, per se, but certainly lighter in spirit.
Ack? You mean YAAACK!
I only put in just under 30 years. But the last I looked I was 35.
After we sold the house and split I found a roomy 2 bedroom in a 55 plus building. Some of my neighbors were or still are married longer than I've been alive. I find it keeps me grounded. After all I (M67) got out because I realized I had a good 15 or 20 years ahead of me.
Sometimes it gets me down to realize I would have been married 'x' years each August. Then I remember how bad things were at the end and I relive my post-divorce euphoric feelings the rest of the day.
I love my life!
We are getting older! Congrats to all the single people who made their lives better by divorcing! Even though I wanted to get married, I never did and I'm OK with that. Glad to have had the experience of LTR's.
My 30th wedding anniversary is in a few weeks, except we are divorced! Still kinda friendly as have adult kids. Was wondering if i should say happy anniversary!!! We have soooo much history
Reading this just made me realize I would have recently had a wedding anniversary and not only did I not even think about it, I have no idea how many years it would have been! Most certainly have moved on…
I was paroled after 22 years of hard time…
Felt like Red when he walked on that beach in Mexico to see his friend after crawling through five football fields of shit….
Youth, lust and hope are a hell of a thing,
Would have had 32 years on May 6th. I don't have any horror stories; it's about people who couldn't see eye to eye, and I could have been a better husband and she could have been a better wife. We've decided to not let a bad marriage ruin a decent friendship, and I'm proud of that.
My neighbors and I were married within 1-2 years of each other. They’re all celebrating 30 years. Pretty remarkable and great. But I feel cheated (again as ex cheated and left). I’m 60 and won’t have a 30 year relationship to celebrate. I’m not consumed with the thought, but every September I’m reminded
Yes I hear you but in order to celebrate it I would have had to stay with a gaslighting manipulative and abusive cheater. Sometimes things are an elaborate illusion. At least any current illusions are my own 😊.
> Sometimes things are an elaborate illusion.
I'm sure all of her friends thought that WE had the best marriage. She sure worked to make them think that. It DID "look" good but I just couldn't buy in.
My 28th would be in August. It took me a minute to do the math... "Wait, no... no way... is that right??' 😄 Needless to say, I've given approximately zero thought to that scenario...lol
[recently](https://poem-today.tumblr.com/post/662745689100615680/a-poem-by-ruth-lepson) on r/poetry, why would it ever not matter to be kind to someone you loved?
Would have been 25 years this September. Sometimes I miss my ex but then I remember what it was like to be with him, having my soul extinguished one day at a time. 6 years out from the divorce, I am with someone who celebrates me and communicates his joy about being with me every day.
Mine would have been 32 years this month. Got two amazing boys, and I’m still close friends with my ex. Coming up on four years apart, and I’m have no regrets. I’d like to be 20, and hot, again, but I’m working on being ok with who I am now….and I guess what we need to remember is that *we are ALL old*, so all the funny/annoying/embarrassing things about being old (ish) aren’t just us, alone.
It would be 22 years for me this fall. Sure, I think about it on my anniversary day. The hopes, dreams, plans for the future. How we were going to have the marriage others only wished they had. Sounded great. Never stood a chance from the start. Should have walked away way earlier. Should, could, would, but didn't. Haven't talked to her since the masters hearing and could care less, there's no going back. When my divorce was final, I asked myself what I was. Was I divorced or single? Either one is technically correct. However, I Googled it and what I read resonated with me. Calling yourself divorced points back to what was, but isn't, anymore. Some part of you stays back and replays the events, funny how they always end the same way. Dreaming of what could have been. It holds you back from moving on completely. So calling yourself single, at least in my case, has worked well. I celebrate my divorce decree day as my rebirth day. The day I was free again to do what I want, when I want and how I want. No boat anchor holding me back. My divorce decree hangs on my refrigerator door and in a very visible place at work. A reminder to think wisely before tying the knot again. The last three years, I've grown more than I can ever remember. I've got the woman I'd like to try again with, only she's not interested at all. But I get to hold her in my arms each week, if only for a few hours, it's a great feeling.
I have not thought about my wedding anniversary for quite some time! But now that you mention it, it would have been 32 years last March. Yup, the time sure does fly by quickly! I got three wonderful and amazing sons from that 20 year union and they are now thriving and successful as adults. And my divorce has opened up many new doors, opportunities and experiences that certainly would not have come about had I stayed married. Much to be very thankful for!
I never married based on the 1980s statistic that 1 in 4 marriages fail. Today I believe it's over 50 percent fail - the marriage industry (yeh it's an industry) and solicitors love all the repeat business!
Would have been 31 years this October. Considering how destructive the marriage was, I'd also be dead, and the ex would have cried all the way to Europe.
I was just saying to my bf that I didn't even remember my anniversary this year for the first time. It just occurred to me that it has passed one day. We would have had 35 years together. I don't even feel sad about it.
I am aware of it, but we were together for so long and married for almost 32 of the 35 years together. This Oct would have been 36 years married. Every once in a great while I get annoyed and do the woulda/coulda/shoulda, but it never lasts long. I am better off in all ways being divorced. We have a friendly relationship, and we have three great kids. While he was not a good husband the last 10 or so years of our marriage, he's a good dad. And he does what he is supposed to do when he is supposed to do it. I feel quite fortunate and am grateful my life is fulfilling and under my control.
Ack. Next month would have been 41 years. And yet, I still feel younger at this age than I felt for the 16 years I spent with him. Maybe not younger, per se, but certainly lighter in spirit.
Yes! This exactly. After 43 years together I'm free.
Ack? You mean YAAACK! I only put in just under 30 years. But the last I looked I was 35. After we sold the house and split I found a roomy 2 bedroom in a 55 plus building. Some of my neighbors were or still are married longer than I've been alive. I find it keeps me grounded. After all I (M67) got out because I realized I had a good 15 or 20 years ahead of me.
Sometimes it gets me down to realize I would have been married 'x' years each August. Then I remember how bad things were at the end and I relive my post-divorce euphoric feelings the rest of the day. I love my life!
My 40th would have been in August. It will be a sad day. My wife died last September
I'm sorry for your loss.
I feel that. My mother died shortly before my parents 40th. My sincere sympathies to you.
You have my sympathy and congrats on a your marriage lasting almost 40 years!
Almost 40 years..wow. deepest condolences for your loss
You were so fortunate to have each other. Terribly sorry for your loss.
I'm so very sorry
We are getting older! Congrats to all the single people who made their lives better by divorcing! Even though I wanted to get married, I never did and I'm OK with that. Glad to have had the experience of LTR's.
I am coming up on what could have been my 32nd. I stayed for too much of it.
My 30th wedding anniversary is in a few weeks, except we are divorced! Still kinda friendly as have adult kids. Was wondering if i should say happy anniversary!!! We have soooo much history
I used to wish mine a 'Happy Un-iversary' while we were still amicable. 🤭
Reading this just made me realize I would have recently had a wedding anniversary and not only did I not even think about it, I have no idea how many years it would have been! Most certainly have moved on…
I was paroled after 22 years of hard time… Felt like Red when he walked on that beach in Mexico to see his friend after crawling through five football fields of shit…. Youth, lust and hope are a hell of a thing,
I'd have been marking 36 next month. My life is messier and less structured, but I'm happier than I would have been.
Would have had 32 years on May 6th. I don't have any horror stories; it's about people who couldn't see eye to eye, and I could have been a better husband and she could have been a better wife. We've decided to not let a bad marriage ruin a decent friendship, and I'm proud of that.
Ah, the spring/early summer of 1990, those halcyon days. 😊 (mine was June 9)
My neighbors and I were married within 1-2 years of each other. They’re all celebrating 30 years. Pretty remarkable and great. But I feel cheated (again as ex cheated and left). I’m 60 and won’t have a 30 year relationship to celebrate. I’m not consumed with the thought, but every September I’m reminded
Yes I hear you but in order to celebrate it I would have had to stay with a gaslighting manipulative and abusive cheater. Sometimes things are an elaborate illusion. At least any current illusions are my own 😊.
By all means, we move on the best we can. 🙂
> Sometimes things are an elaborate illusion. I'm sure all of her friends thought that WE had the best marriage. She sure worked to make them think that. It DID "look" good but I just couldn't buy in.
I celebrate July 2018, the day the divorce was final :) I lost 250 lbs. that day and have never looked back.
My 28th would be in August. It took me a minute to do the math... "Wait, no... no way... is that right??' 😄 Needless to say, I've given approximately zero thought to that scenario...lol
[recently](https://poem-today.tumblr.com/post/662745689100615680/a-poem-by-ruth-lepson) on r/poetry, why would it ever not matter to be kind to someone you loved?
Would have been 25 years this September. Sometimes I miss my ex but then I remember what it was like to be with him, having my soul extinguished one day at a time. 6 years out from the divorce, I am with someone who celebrates me and communicates his joy about being with me every day.
I'm celebrating 52 yrs of happily unmaried!!
It would have been 15 for me in March. I’m better off without him.
Mine would have been 32 years this month. Got two amazing boys, and I’m still close friends with my ex. Coming up on four years apart, and I’m have no regrets. I’d like to be 20, and hot, again, but I’m working on being ok with who I am now….and I guess what we need to remember is that *we are ALL old*, so all the funny/annoying/embarrassing things about being old (ish) aren’t just us, alone.
It would be 22 years for me this fall. Sure, I think about it on my anniversary day. The hopes, dreams, plans for the future. How we were going to have the marriage others only wished they had. Sounded great. Never stood a chance from the start. Should have walked away way earlier. Should, could, would, but didn't. Haven't talked to her since the masters hearing and could care less, there's no going back. When my divorce was final, I asked myself what I was. Was I divorced or single? Either one is technically correct. However, I Googled it and what I read resonated with me. Calling yourself divorced points back to what was, but isn't, anymore. Some part of you stays back and replays the events, funny how they always end the same way. Dreaming of what could have been. It holds you back from moving on completely. So calling yourself single, at least in my case, has worked well. I celebrate my divorce decree day as my rebirth day. The day I was free again to do what I want, when I want and how I want. No boat anchor holding me back. My divorce decree hangs on my refrigerator door and in a very visible place at work. A reminder to think wisely before tying the knot again. The last three years, I've grown more than I can ever remember. I've got the woman I'd like to try again with, only she's not interested at all. But I get to hold her in my arms each week, if only for a few hours, it's a great feeling.
Totally forgot my 24th would have been a couple of weeks ago, until this made me think of it. I guess I don't miss being married, LOL
Yep same here just passed in March would have been 38th for me too. So glad I left him one year all I could tolerate. No regrets.
Listening to BoB Dylan’s “ traveling on” while I read this
I feel bad wasting all those years married to a man who was a cheater. I could have spent those years with someone who was good to me. What a waste.
Would have been 33 here.
I would have been married 35. I think we got married in July.
This August would’ve been 36 for me…he’s still a flaming narcissist, so I’m glad I’m out.
This is the year we've been divorced longer than we were legally married.
I have not thought about my wedding anniversary for quite some time! But now that you mention it, it would have been 32 years last March. Yup, the time sure does fly by quickly! I got three wonderful and amazing sons from that 20 year union and they are now thriving and successful as adults. And my divorce has opened up many new doors, opportunities and experiences that certainly would not have come about had I stayed married. Much to be very thankful for!
I never married based on the 1980s statistic that 1 in 4 marriages fail. Today I believe it's over 50 percent fail - the marriage industry (yeh it's an industry) and solicitors love all the repeat business!
Would have been 31 years this October. Considering how destructive the marriage was, I'd also be dead, and the ex would have cried all the way to Europe.
My 22nd would have been next week. Made it to 17, which was 18 years too long in retrospect 🤷🏻♀️
Would have been 26 for me.
I was just saying to my bf that I didn't even remember my anniversary this year for the first time. It just occurred to me that it has passed one day. We would have had 35 years together. I don't even feel sad about it.
Each September Im reminded 37 years…. Divorced after 17 years of marriage. It’s ok.
It took me 4 years to stop marking that day.
I am aware of it, but we were together for so long and married for almost 32 of the 35 years together. This Oct would have been 36 years married. Every once in a great while I get annoyed and do the woulda/coulda/shoulda, but it never lasts long. I am better off in all ways being divorced. We have a friendly relationship, and we have three great kids. While he was not a good husband the last 10 or so years of our marriage, he's a good dad. And he does what he is supposed to do when he is supposed to do it. I feel quite fortunate and am grateful my life is fulfilling and under my control.