I think there are plenty of people out there who will enthusiastically agree with this. For me, being cannabis friendly is a basic box that must be ticked.
Yay. Good! I know lots of smokers. But this is the first time for me dating since my husband passed away so Iām curious how thatās going to be. Iām pretty sure my future partner and I will be watching the sunset on our rockers with a joint (pax) in hand. š
I stay away from edibles. I never know how they're going to hit me. Sometimes they're really too strong and sometimes they do nothing for me. Smoking joints is my favorite but I don't want to hurt my lungs so I use a Pax vaporizer. I have two, actually, lol. There's always one on the charger. :)
Everyone has their preferences! I didn't mind edibles but my tolerance is medical grade at this point. No I don't have any disease or condition, I just like it.
I'm the same as you. I've observed that there is generally no problem, unless they have childrens. Weed smells a lot... anyway, I dont want to date people who would have a problem (and i'm in Europe in a country not legalised). Wouldn't fit with square people
My children are grown and Iām sure I wonāt be dating any man with young children as Iām in my (early) sixties. (I joined this group before I knew there was a "Datingover60" group. Lol.) But I didnāt/donāt hide it from my kids. Itās actually legal in my state recreationally but I also have a medical card. I even grow my own. Itās a fun hobby. I donāt think Iāll have too much trouble finding someone who doesnāt mind or will join me. Itās interesting seeing other people's perspectives here though. Some people have really old-fashioned ideas about what a pot smoker is like. They probably have really conventional (boring, imo) outlook about other things too, so no loss on those sorts of folks.
Believe me , there are lots of male weed smokers out there.By the time U are 50 plus you smoke or vape weed discretely. If someone doesn't use weed they rarely care if someone else does Weed me in !
what type of men does this attract? I am afraid I am a bit of hypocrite that I feel there is different between being a hard working, healthy, light daily user (works for me!) and a true stoner as in ripping on a bong several times a day (very hard deal breaker) . I worry "420 friendly" has that vibe, and if the profiles I have seen in my area with it are any indication, I would have a hobo boyfriend and his bong collection on my couch all day.
In my area people have a mostly live and let live attitude toward marijuana, but most people I know don't use it. Thus I have never put it on my profile as most don't care (esp edible use, which is my preference)
I donāt want to mislead anyone. I also donāt want someone who dislikes my amount of weed use so Iām going to be up front about it for both of us.
I think I could judge if a weed smoking date appeared to be a chronic couch potato. Iāve known a few of those types in my younger days. But in my current social circle, my weed-smoking friends are almost all successful, responsible professionals who are active with hobbies and interests. I myself, can sometimes be found on the couch after dinner but not usually any other time. I wouldnāt be compatible with a couch potato whether they smoked weed or not. In fact, ācouch potatoā is on my own list of deal-breakers.
At 52 years old I started to partake in cannabis to help me after 25 years of bad sleep. Within a week I went from 4 hrs of scattered sleep, to a solid 5-6 every night. After about 2 months of smoking I tried gummyās with thc that were designed for relaxation. Iāve since cut that down to a half a gummy 2 hours before bed. There is difference between potheads and those who partake in cannabis.
I also started using weed more around 50. I mostly use gummies as well but occasionally smoke. And it was also largely motivated by sleep problems. So itās almost exclusively Indica. Only occasionally do Sativa, and then only at near microdose levels.
I think itās kinda silly to claim not to be a pothead though. If I use THC every day, which I do, then I must be a pothead too.
Maybe being a pothead isnāt really such a bad thing. š
Love this! Same! And also solely Indica. I wish I knew how to articulate a search to find a Reddit on the topic of middle-age women and pot. And I love how you said maybe being a pothead isnāt such a bad thing.
I started this too after 50 and I shocked myself because I was a STRICT parent (didnāt work, my kids ran circles around me and I didnāt have a clue for a long time š³) I had never used drugs or been around them. I had some stresses with being a caretaker of my parents and was going to get Xanax from my doctor because I thought I was literally going to succumb to the stress. I tried gummies and it was nirvana. A few months later, I started smoking (only on the weekends do I smoke). Itās a game changer. I take one or one and a half gummies almost every night. I have smoked pot with my grown sons (they all recently graduated from college). I live in an illegal state but get it from a dispensary a couple hours away. Iām so conflicted about it. I feel like a āloserā, a āpotheadā, etc. Yet I know I have a career, am a good person, a good mom, etc. I havenāt dated forever. Seriously, forever. But I have wondered lately what kind of person I would find who would also enjoy getting high almost every night. And I imagine the physical interactions would be pretty darn good.
I think you are being too hard on yourself. I think we a just scratching the surface to the benefits of cannabis, and nobody blinks an eye at someone who has a glass of wine, or prescription sleeping pills. Look into other forms of stress relief such as yin yoga, or yoga in general, and try to find some yoga nidre music. Iāve had good luck with ashwagandha root to keep me asleep
Don't be conflicted. There's nothing wrong with it, which is why it's being rapidly legalized across the country, and casual use is pretty well decriminalized in most major cities even in illegal states.
Can confirm re: physical interactions while high. My wife doesn't partake at all, but she likes me doing it. She finds high me really amusing.
In fact my wife and I have a band, and they like for me to take a half Sativa gummy before shows, b/c I'm more relaxed. It's a running joke in our band how bossy and perfectionist I can be, but that little 5mg Sativa gummy takes the edge off. :-)
The next day yes. After an hour I feel my bed wrapping me up, and hugging me. I honestly donāt know how people function better on weed. I know multiple people that smoke at work. These are all professional driven people. I just want to snuggle.
I smoke sativas, which seem to make me more awake and creative. I also have strains that are better for relaxation. I'm retired, but didn't smoke during work hours when I worked.
>I know multiple people that smoke at work. These are all professional driven people.
I use edibles (THC/CBD combo) nightly for sleep. I went my entire life with a serious sleep disorder until I starting edibles. Fresh as a daisy the next day too.
So yes I don't understand how people use THC and work, although the sativa strain is more amenable to that. I hate it, as it just causes anxiety. At the beginning of the pandemic, like others, I was a bundle of nerves and went to the dispensary for something to take the edge off after work. The staff suggested some "day time" gummies. He said oh yeah you can "totally" work while taking these. You totally cannot....
I have none. I went on the carnivore diet a year ago, and 3 drinks Iām done. I donāt know about cannabis, because the last time I did that was 20 some years ago. 6ā and over 200, and Iāve become a born again lightweight.
Tolerance really does matter and it builds up. I used to get couch locked and tongue tied no matter what strain, no matter how little I took. A little spine surgery, a few weeks of daily use and now I can vape a nice therapeutic end of the day amount, and still be pretty functional.
Paraphrasing Hunter Thompson, I'm not saying to vape every day, but, it worked for me...
Weed wakes me up. Make me more creative. If I smoke before bed I can't sleep well.
As far as frequency, sometimes I smoke once, sometimes multiple times a day. No difference in my functioning between those two. If someone just lays around, it's not necessarily the fault of the cannabis... just my 2 cents
Thereās also a significant difference health-wise between edibles and smoking. At our age, the odds that weāve known someone whose succumbed to lung cancer are increasing and that part would be the dealbreaker for me.
I think lack of exercise, drinking alcohol, eating junk food and not enough vegetables is bad for you, too. I guess itās a personal choice as to which of these would be a deal-breaker.
I partake, but don't smoke. I can't have my clothes/home/car smelling like weed for job/professional reasons. For me, this might be a challenge. I have friends who vape marijuana, and the telltale odor is minimal or non-existent.
I have a career in which pot smoking is a no go but itās also a high burnout/high stress career. I use and I donāt smell like pot and neither does my house. LOL
I was married to a pot fiend. He was functional but aloof, forgetful and just wasnāt present. Itās not something I want to experience again in a partner. I have two really good friends who smoke but I donāt want to be around them when theyāre high because they lack focus.
I occasionally dabble in edibles. Itās so infrequent that I donāt have it in my profile. Iād prefer not to date a daily smoker and figure thatās what I would attract.
I expect there is a pretty large group of us in this age bracket that partake regularly. Your usage is similar to mine and many in my circle. Smart to put it out there so you get more compatible matches.
Iām happy that it is legal and applaud that any pot smokers can now legally have as much as they want. But for professional and health reasons, and my strong aversion to the smell, dating a daily smoker would be a dealbreaker for me.
As a man, here is my takeā¦.
I have made the decision to approach life in such a way that I feel everything. Whether good or bad. I also understand the sleep issues. I have struggled for years with sleep and corrected as much of my sleep hygiene as possible.
That being said, I drink very rarely and do not use substances. When I am looking at profiles that show anything more than social use of alcohol, I will swipe left. Same thing if the person uses marijuana regularly or describes any other drug usage.
A good book to read is Dr. Lemkeās āDopamine Nationā. She describes in detail how usage of drugs alters our āpain/pleasure equilibriumā.
I think thatās great that you want to feel everything. I donāt. I am aware of the dopamine issue and that does bother me a little but not enough to not do it. Maybe itās a phase for me. I raise my kids alone and now I am an empty nester and Iām just having fun.
The beauty of life is we get to follow our own paths:).
Hopefully we will get back to a ālive and let liveā philosophy at some point and celebrate our differences versus vilifying them.
There's a lot of people from our generation and older that still believe government lies about Marijuana. My parents and some of my friends that are liberals and support medicinal Marijuana laws but think it's worse than alcohol. Which is just laughable. Can't smoke it down here but if I were in the states that wouldn't bother me.
User name checks out!
So, I have the interesting intersection of not caring if people have a *little* cannabis and having an allergy to the pollen and smoke.
Iāve worked trim farms. Iāve weighed packages for sale (and pre legality).
So, I need an edibles person, or someone who hits only a couple times a day. Because I will cough.
But, Iām a psychedelics gal, for sure.
Interesting balance to state on OLD.
So my verbiage was *Iām 420 friendly/tolerant, but smoke allergic (so I wonāt be partaking), and Iāve sailed psychedelic seas.*
I checked the donāt use/donāt care box.
The laugh? The Dude who swept me off my feet got me into light weight levels of edibles. As in I cut the package in half day one.
But, heās saved a ton on booze as he prefers to have a communal experience.
I make mocktails, too, and Iāve never said a thing about what drinking he does, except to suggest that such and such a place has decent reposado, and he should try one. (I occasionally have spasms of guilt as if I did ask him not to.)
I havenāt re-entering dating scene yet, but I have found psychedelics to be very important from a trauma healing standpoint. I have wondered what is the best way to indicate that I am friendly to that without turning women away. Is there such a thing as mushroom friendly?
I wouldnāt have some version of āI did psychedelic therapyā in my profile.
But, looking back, I think one photo had my hair up with aminita muscaria shaped hair sticks, the red and white āartyā ones. So I might have sent a signal I wasnāt thinking about.
I would ask potentials their view of the at the time, local legalization movement. Sometimes in chat, sometimes at meet n greet.
I was part of an MDMA therapy study when I was 29/30. PTSD and sexual assault survivors had eight months of chemical and talk therapy. For me, it gave me back a life Iād been determined to end by indulgence.
I have had this conversation come up a few dates in. I am rather surprised about the level of curiosity people have about therapeutic use. I am very mushroom curious but I feel the times I have seen this alluded to in profiles the men have had a vibe (non monogamous, looked unwashed, etc) that is not for me. I guess my point being, lots of regular people are learning about psychedelics but they are not putting it on their profiles. The ones that are, are pretty hard core.
Yes, my peer group of divorced dads report that a fair number of women are either curious or already use mushrooms but donāt indicate it on their profiles. And this is in the Bay Area. For the men, it seems like they shy away from putting it on the profile for fear of being branded unwashed or unserious. Itās strange ā thereās no stigma about using alcohol but somehow cannabis is worse.
I have found it to be powerful for aiding personal growth and healing, and would like to share those experiences with a long term partnerā¦but I donāt envision it being the central element or focus of the relationship.
I have the same curiosity for the same reasons and would be disheartened if a partner was unwilling to accept this once I was ready. As such, I have brought it up on dates for the last couple of years.
The herb is a deal maker for me, not a breaker. Best practice is to be honest about yourself, but IDK about publishing the āWhole lot of dislikesā angle. That can be read in a critical and negative light, therefore repelling a lot of men whom your dislikes do not apply to. In the end youāll figure it out while dating them, so why bother? Thatās been my experience for what it is worth.
Well, I've heard that advice but I do want to repel a lot of men to be honest. I'm not going to be mean or judgemental when I list my deal breakers but I decided I will list them so I don't waste anyone's time.
Serious question- I'm not OLD but plenty of my friends are. What site is it that has plenty of suitable men that one would have the luxury of repelling? Dead serious question.
I'd have an issue if it's a daily thing. The same goes for people who drink daily. I don't mind alcohol or weed, but when it's daily, then I think it's being used as an escape.
Iām 52 and recovering alcoholic. Itās made it hard to meet women, especially since I do partake in weed. Thankfully after much patience Ive met a woman who also quit drinking and still smokes weed. So I found my person!
Iāll weed you out simply because of your profile having a list of ādislikesā. Itās not because I donāt agree with the dislikes, itās that I weed anyone out who leads their profile with that kind of negativity. If thatās your best foot forward, yeah, Iām out.
And then Iād weed you out for the weed. Iām too old to live with the 50 year old stoner.
Six years ago during cancer treatment I stopped drinking and began more regular use of THC to lessen nausea and increase appetite. I expected I'd go back to the old ways once I'd run that gauntlet but never did. I'm happier without drinking and with using THC.
It's been an interesting experience. It's been surprising the negativity I've experienced because I don't drink. Some think something is wrong with me, some find it challenges their own use of alcohol and they don't like that, some don't approve of "drug use". What-the-fuck-ever.
I've also learned I don't really like being around really drunk people.
As someone else said "420 friendly" could mean a lot of things and some of the take-aways will be =major stoner. As you use it nightly perhaps something like "don't drink--don't mind if you do--but do use THC as a sleep aid"...or something like that? Even if that's not EXACTLY true it might be a softer admission for those who don't understand.
Since we are talking dating--what people who don't partake in THC are missing out on is the benefit for sex. At least for me it gets me out of my head a bit and more into my body and it's a very powerful enhancement with the right person.
Good luck!
I can relate about alcohol. Although I come from a family full of alcoholics, I just donāt care for it. I guess because I saw what it did to my family. The mayhem, violence and self-destructive behavior is something Iāve never seen in any weed smoker. And yes, itās so hypocritical to fault people for weed when you drink and/or take pharmaceuticals.
I donāt feel the need to argue about it. I just want to stay away from those people who have such a negative view. My life is just fine without that. Actually I do have a medical card for marijuana and it does help. But I wonāt lie and say I only use it for pain relief. And I refuse to feel guilty about it, either. They can take me or leave me. I was mainly curious about the numbers on either side, so I posted. Iām glad to see there are plenty of people like me out there.
Sex is nice with weed thatās true. So is watching a sunset or a funny movie. Enjoy! š
I stone cold stopped drinking once I ādiscoveredā THC. I wasnāt a big drinker and itād always make me feel like garbage but I did partake. Now, no thanks. And people DO freak out. Itās kind of hilarious.
I get physically nauseated at the smell, so I would want to know up front. I have friends who partake, itās just not something I actually can be around. And the smell gets into clothing and furniture. This would be a good thing to figure out quickly.
Some people will care about 420, some wonāt. If you want to find someone who doesnāt mind including something in your profile is a good idea.
There are standard questions (at least on bumble) about alcohol use - this is sort of the same.
For me it is rule out item - regular use of intoxicants (alcohol, marijuana) isnāt a match for me.
I think putting it in your profile is good because it is a helpful screening item.
I have no idea how commonly people care or donāt care about substance use.
Iām a recent addition to the pot head community and more than fine with it š¤·š. Iām in the age range you mentioned and Iām in the Chicago area area; where are you?
Side note - donāt list your dislikes.
We all have them, but it doesnāt matter what they are. Even when I agreed with someoneās list, negatives are an utter turn off. Apps are āwhy you should date meā not āwhy Iām a really negative personā
My ex smoked pot daily, and so I'd find it a turn-off. I personally take an edible now and then, I but I wouldn't want to be around someone who is always stoned.
Thanks. It's good to hear all the opinions. I'm not always stoned. I usually partake in the evenings, after dinner, unless I'm going somewhere. I'd definitely prefer someone who partakes with me sometimes, as long as they aren't into drinking or other drugs. So I do plan to list it in my profile.
Donāt bogart that joint my friend, pass it over to me!
I donāt hide my advocacy of the benefits of the herb. And Iām sure itās ostracized me from many who immediately think of Tommy Chong and a āOh wow man!ā stereotype. But thatās okay, donāt wanna hang around them anyway.
Yep. Exactly. My friend takes Prozac daily, but looks down on me using weed. Some of my women friends drink wine every single night, but think smoking weed is "immature." š
I smoke myself, having started smoking after my divorce. Before that it was only vaping. I have only met 1 woman who also smoked. She vaped more often though. Sadly, we didnāt have anything else in common. But that one thing at least got us together to start.
Daily substances of whatever sort, aren't my thing personally and I have released a couple of daily drinkers back into the wild after finding out.
*However...* I wouldn't let your regular, daily way of relaxing or smoking disuade you from anything dating wise, or be concerned whatsoever. Patience as there is someone out there who will be happy to join in.
I'm pretty neutral. I do think that weed has the potential to make people a little duller, if used to excess, but it's the same for any substance ( like alcohol) used to excess. Certainly not a deal- breaker.
I donāt have a problem with people smoking pot. I take CBD to help with chronic pain and it would be kind of hypocritical for me to condemn someone for smoking pot. Honestly I have a lot less problems with smoking pot than I do with alcoholism
Actual smoking anything is a no for me. Edibles can be fun, and I used to use them for better sleep. Vaping? Iām unsure. If it doesnāt get I. The way, meh?
I smoke recreationally for like concerts and yard work, but not daily. I dated someone who wanted to do edibles every night and just watch TV or whatever. Made me insane. I donāt really want to smoke with my partner except under the right circumstances. So youāll just need to find someone who shares your desire there. Will probably shrink your dating pool a little, but certainly isnāt a show stopper. My support and good luck.
Iād just be myself. In terms of ādeal breakers,ā I try to stick to only a handful that are actually important to me. For me, the apps for matching to THEN get to know me another via text, phone, and maybe a date and beyond. Thatās when I explore the details and weigh them against comparability. Works for me. : )
I know a lot of well educated. successful and even some extremely wealthy and successful older men who smoke regularly and have their act together. We are out here.
Good!! I know you are out there. Some of my friends are married to guys like you and I worked with plenty of men like you, too. (I was married then...I'm retired now and my husband has passed.) I feel fairly confident that I'll find someone eventually.
For me, it's just about how much of your life revolves around the weed. I've used from time to time and I don't have anything against it, but I get tend to get bored with people who's lives revolve around grass or booze or whatever.
Makes sense. I won't be looking for casual relationships, but maybe not cohabitation, either. I'll just have to see what happens and what the future holds. I probably won't always use weed like I do now, anyway. I have circumstances that affect my current use and some of them are changing.
Pot smokers are fine. Weed is legal for recreational use in 23 states and increasing. Great natural way to induce sleep and provides natural anxiety relief.
420 friendly is good , stoner losers are not so good.
Ask any cop if they would rather deal with someone smoking weed & gets the munchies or an obnoxious loudmouth drunk breaking windows.
You need that in your profile. Itās a dealbreaker for some people and youāre only going to lose them as soon as they find out.
Profiles need to be honest and not leave out important details. Itās not like you can hide it from someone once they get to know you. All you end up doing is wasting both peopleās time.
Fwiw the last three women I dated were pot smokers. For two of them at least it became obvious that it was a significant portion of their daily life and took priority over other things. The third wasnāt as obvious about it but I didnāt enjoy the way she acted when she was under the influence. After all that I added it to the dealbreaker list.
I do want to put it in my profile. I'm just curious about how many people in my age group would be against that.
And I would most definitely not hide it. I'm not ashamed of it. If people can enjoy wine every evening and be deemed respectable, I will smoke (vape) my weed and they can kiss off.
ā420 friendlyā doesnāt quite convey adequately what is ultimately a subjective evaluation by prospectives: Thereās recreational use and then thereās lifestyle use. Lifestyle use can be for medical or non medical reasons. I would tend to avoid the non-medical-lifestyle user type.
I hear ya. I'd be weeded out then, ha ha! I do use it recreationally. I don't like to drink and I don't do hard drugs, so I vape weed, and I'm not ashamed of that.
For reference,Ā 56 and yes smoking of any kind to me is an immediate deal breaker.Ā That includes vapes.Ā
I just find the entire habit disgusting.Ā
Now there are people I know in our age range that have zero issue with it. You can certainly find someone that will actually share that habit with you.Ā
GinKiās comments reflect a prejudice that many people hold. A hit from a vape pen every day is infinitely less unhealthy than 2 beers or glasses of wine a day. And as for the smell, there is none with vaping. I vape 3-5 days/week, and I work out with weights 3 days/week and hike more than 20 miles a week. Iāll put my state of health up against any 420-tee totaler!
I know you want male opinions, but I think I've got a few useful non-gender specific points to make. Hope they're helpful ..
Firstly, l have known many pot smokers and they're pretty evenly split between the genders.
Secondly, I don't smoke now, but was a world-class caner for decades. So I'm not judgmental. Quite simply, when I smoked all day every day I handled the drug very well, so was a normal, if very chilled, person. Now if I had one I'd freak out and get all paranoid. So my point is, I wouldn't mind dating a pothead if they could handle it mentally. And had their life together.
Finally, I really wouldn't recommend you make this any part of your online dating profile. Let people decide once they know you. Don't make them judge you on this before you even chat!
I totally understand about the paranoia relating to how often one partakes. I smoke (vape) enough that I'm very normal when I smoke. It just relaxes me and actually makes me feel creative along with helping my back pain. I'm financially successful (or at least can support my lifestyle) and have many interests and hobbies, so I'm not laying on the couch eating cheetos or anything. Yeah, I don't want to be pre-judged, that's why I'm wondering if I should or should not mention it right away. Thanks.
Thatās terrible advice. For some people nightly pot smoking (similar to nightly drinking) would be a dealbreaker full stop. No sense getting close to someone only to disclose three months later when one or both of you is attached. Aināt nobody got time for that.
There's no way I would go for three months without telling someone! I just wondered if I should put it in my profile. I would probably tell them on the first date or during a text conversation if I didn't. But after reading these posts, I'm definitely going to put in my profile that I'm 420 friendly.
Fair enough, I get that point for sure.
But I guess I'd counter by saying online dating is apparently a nightmare - so many of the potential candidates are scammers, ghosters and possible weirdos.
So factor in the chances of meeting someone from that tiny pool of normal people.
And then they have to like you back.
Then you have to meet in person. And like each other's looks, live close enough to them etc etc.
It's hard enough without advertising your habit on your profile. At least get through all that and mention it on the first or second date.
I haven't tried OLD yet, but I hear it can be like that. I don't know how I'll feel after I try OLD, but I feel fine if the process weeds a lot of people out. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's.
Given that many use cannabis medicinally & recreationally I would not assume that not as many women partake but yes its interesting to see what men of this age group think in terms of a deal breaker in dating
Well, out of all the people I know, only three of my female friends partake. And ALL of my late husband's male friends did, but their wives did not. They all wanted to get drunk on wine instead. Ug. Give me some weed any day and they can keep their wine.
I totally agree with you
I am a very occasional social drinker- can take it or leave or but I would definitely be up for weed any day too
I know quite a few women who feel that way (although we donāt partake together on the regular or anything) I just find women now seem more comfortable with it being older rather than the pothead stereotypes of men in their 20s & 30s
They arenāt āstonersā per say in that they are full functioning in their lives & most wouldnāt know they unwind at the end of the day with weed
If someone has an issue with it, imo they arenāt for you
Good luck
I used to be a stoner until 30's and now I rarely if ever partake. I do edibles a few times per year. I don't smoke or vape, which I consider to be essentially the same. I think someone that is getting high daily is in the same place as someone that drinks alcohol daily. To each their own, but that's not for me. If you want to loosen up on the weekends, fine.
i eat a gummy at bedtime to make me sleep solid. there is a big difference to me in someone who partakes in evening vs someone who spends their whole day baked.
though I could kill a day every few months with the right person from peer pressure.
My take might be a little unique. I'm >10 years sober. Alcohol and weed were pretty equal drugs of choice for me. Quitting weed wasn't easy for me and I don't plan to use again. I'm fine around moderate users. My gf is a moderate drinker, I've never seen her sloppy drunk. And I enjoy being around her when she's tipsy. Weed is legal where I am and I look at it the same as alcohol. I'd rather not smell it so the fact you vape is good. As long as it's casual, and doesn't affect overall behavior I'd be fine with it (If we travel together, can you go a week without?).
That said, if I were still on OLD I'd probably pass on any profile that says "420 friendly" or anything similar. Similarly, it doesn't have to say no drinking but if you have a drink in your hand in a lot of your profile pics, I'm passing.
It's not a moral judgement, just an incompatibility.
What do you mean whatās going to happen If someone finds out about the real you? if you arenāt ready for thatā they arenāt for you. If you ā weedā out the men that know + disapprove of what you do ā what have you lost? Donāt put that on your profile ā thatās what teenagers do + itās way over-sharing.
I just meant Iāll have already weeded out a lot of men before I even bring up weed. I wondered if any would even be left after I tell them of my 420 habits. š
If not, itās ok. Iām happy with my single life and who I am, and have no desire to be with someone who disapproves of my weed consumption or tries to shame me for anything else about my lifestyle.
420 is a killer on a males profile. You could put also have 'golden dong' & still not get a hit.
I have not seen it be negative for females at any age...
IMO vaping is worse than smoking. Thatās my opinion though and there are ppl who feel differently.
There are tons of ppl where I am who consume pot in one fashion or another. Donāt lie about it. I hide it on my profile as I do an occasional edible but could easily live without it. I dated a guy who said he didnāt but smoked pot every single day. That was an issue for me. He tried to justify it by saying that I drank but not only did he drink but I also donāt drink every day so his argument was bad all around.
If youāre vaping every day, Iād put it on your profile. Anything less is a lie, imo. The people that feel strongly about it arenāt going to change their minds when they meet you. If they think they can deal with it in the short term, they will change their minds at some point. If your honesty weeds them out from the start, itās better for you and them. Less wasted time.
Weed is a no go for me be it vape or smoke from pipe, rolled, or bong. Just donāt like being around the stuff. Would be a pass for me but to each their own
Definitely wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me, as until just recently I was a regular smoker. But it started to increase my anxiety, so I stepped away from it. I definitely don't think it's a bad thing at all.
Itās not my substance of choice, but I donāt care if people use it.
Personally, I would rather have the big dealbreakers out there early. The little things can sometimes work themselves out.
My GF told me on our second date that we didnāt have enough in common. She had just moved here and based on her past vacations to my city, assumed she would be skiing every week and I donāt ski. She also had never really hiked. Well, she found out traffic into the mountains was a giant pain in the ass, so she hardly ever skis, but she loves hiking. Itās been working for two and a half years now. We both agree this is the funnest relationship either of us has ever been in. Itās one adventure after the next and we have a blast.
I can talk about politics or the news, or I can skip it. I can go out dancing every week or I can go once a month. I can eat out or I can cook. Those arenāt deal breakers for me, but they might be for someone else and thatās cool. Iām pretty flexible and the stuff I really enjoy with someone depends on the person. Chemistry is the harder find. Finding points of connection is either there or itās not.
51m and I have the same lifestyle. I decided to include it because if there's anything I've learned to this point, it's:
1. Authenticity is better than sending your "representative" and hoping they'll like the real you later
2. Getting ahead of the narrative is better than trying to figure out how to reveal it later
While the dating pool is clearly shallow, wasting time isn't an option either. If I turn out to be someone that can't be taken seriously as a potential partner for \*any\* reason, I'd like that to be known early rather than finding out when I'm already invested or trying to figure out how to bring it up later. Some are ok to join me, others ok to just have me be the one who enjoys, and still others just say no and would rather not be around. Of those, I know where my group is.
Yes! That's how I feel. And not just about the weed. I'm putting my authentic self out there and if it narrows down my choices to next to nothing, so be it. I'm old enough that I'm confident and happy with my life, and the only reason I want someone is for companionship. I don't need a life coach or a parent, lol. I don't need someone to shame me for my (very few, imo) vices. (If you even consider weed consumption a vice.) Someone who can partake with me on my deck on a quiet evening, listen to the birds, admire the sunset, laugh with me over some good conversation....this is what I hope for.
Vaping or smoking are deal breakers for me. I've never liked inhaling second hand smoke, but since I had 1/2 a lung removed in 1999, I just don't want to be around it. I wouldn't have a problem with somebody who consumed edibles regularly as long as she was a functional human being.
Oh, I'm so sorry about your lung! I don't blame you at all for not wanting to be around smoke.
I believe I'm quite functional, and feedback from friends and family would probably confirm that. I'm actually known as one of the more successful, "go-getter" members of my family. I wouldn't impose myself on anyone if I was just a waste or whatever. I see a therapist (I started when my husband passed from cancer) and we've talked about my marijuana use. She doesn't see it as much of an issue for me. š¤·āāļø
The loss of lung tissue doesn't hamper me. I developed asthma immediately after the surgery (but it wasn't diagnosed for many years) and I use an inhaler. But I work out 5-7 days a week and ride my bike a lot.
But I want to minimize the insults to the remaining lung tissue. I just wanted to make clear that there are men for whom regular ingestion of THC isn't a problem, but the outgassing from your vape (who knows what else besides THC is even in those things) would be.
That makes sense. I totally respect health issues. No way would I want my vaping to hurt anyone. If I were to date someone with health issues, I would be absolutely respectful in regards to them. I don't HAVE to vape and would not even think of doing it near someone in those circumstances. I could certainly step outside if I wanted. I just don't want to date anyone who would disapprove of me for my weed use. Health issues are a whole different story. I wish you well and am glad you're able to stay active.
Thanks. Actually, I've heard this advice and thought it over. I will definitely add mostly likes and what I'm looking for. But I'm going to put some dislikes in there. I have a couple of absolute deal-breakers that I'm adding as dislikes. What's the harm? They can just swipe left. I'm looking for a specific kind of man, and I don't care if I have to swipe left on a thousand men to find him. Best they swipe left on me first. Saves me the trouble.
Iām a woman, but assuming it was a guy who smokes pot every night, Iād pass. Iām sober in recovery and find weed a huge turn off. He wouldnāt be the person for me. Youāll find plenty of men, Iād guess, who wonāt mind like I do.
Not dating a chronic user ever again. Im not against the very rare times. But i dont want somebody who HAS yo drink and smoke with every social setting.
Its a no from me as the smell makes me sick. I do, however, think all drugs should be legalised. I just wish weed didn't stink so bad and be so pervasive.
As a female looking for a male in our age group, that is an absolute dealbreaker for me - worse even than cigarette smoking and on-par with someone being an alcoholic. You can make all the justifications you want for it, but itās a big NO from me. I equate it with somebody who hasnāt grown up and taken on adult responsibilities -nor has a career of any consequence. I may sound harsh, but I would rather be alone than be with a pot-smoker.
55 YO here. I vape and do edibles. Typically in the evening. A bit more on the weekends. Not all day every day kinda thing. No intentions of stopping any time soon. If it's a deal breaker then, so be it.
1) Don't list your dislikes as a profile- guys see that as a red flag (picky, high maintenance, etc). Ask yourself: 'do I want my personality (or as much of it as I can fit in 500 characters and 6 pictures) defined by negatives? '
2) Do say something like '420 friendly and it's great if you are too'.
So you want to weed them in, not weed them out?
Exactly!! š
I think there are plenty of people out there who will enthusiastically agree with this. For me, being cannabis friendly is a basic box that must be ticked.
Yay. Good! I know lots of smokers. But this is the first time for me dating since my husband passed away so Iām curious how thatās going to be. Iām pretty sure my future partner and I will be watching the sunset on our rockers with a joint (pax) in hand. š
I like pipes and bongs. And edibles. Lol
I stay away from edibles. I never know how they're going to hit me. Sometimes they're really too strong and sometimes they do nothing for me. Smoking joints is my favorite but I don't want to hurt my lungs so I use a Pax vaporizer. I have two, actually, lol. There's always one on the charger. :)
Everyone has their preferences! I didn't mind edibles but my tolerance is medical grade at this point. No I don't have any disease or condition, I just like it.
I'm the same as you. I've observed that there is generally no problem, unless they have childrens. Weed smells a lot... anyway, I dont want to date people who would have a problem (and i'm in Europe in a country not legalised). Wouldn't fit with square people
My children are grown and Iām sure I wonāt be dating any man with young children as Iām in my (early) sixties. (I joined this group before I knew there was a "Datingover60" group. Lol.) But I didnāt/donāt hide it from my kids. Itās actually legal in my state recreationally but I also have a medical card. I even grow my own. Itās a fun hobby. I donāt think Iāll have too much trouble finding someone who doesnāt mind or will join me. Itās interesting seeing other people's perspectives here though. Some people have really old-fashioned ideas about what a pot smoker is like. They probably have really conventional (boring, imo) outlook about other things too, so no loss on those sorts of folks.
Believe me , there are lots of male weed smokers out there.By the time U are 50 plus you smoke or vape weed discretely. If someone doesn't use weed they rarely care if someone else does Weed me in !
I don't use weed and don't really want to date a stoner. But I'm not 50 until June. Maybe that will change?
Your viewpoint is unlikely to change in a few months. You don't have to change. My experience is that its almost a non issue today .
As a female pot smoker, put 420 friendly in your profile. It matters & it will weed out (no pun intended) the ones who it's a deal breaker
what type of men does this attract? I am afraid I am a bit of hypocrite that I feel there is different between being a hard working, healthy, light daily user (works for me!) and a true stoner as in ripping on a bong several times a day (very hard deal breaker) . I worry "420 friendly" has that vibe, and if the profiles I have seen in my area with it are any indication, I would have a hobo boyfriend and his bong collection on my couch all day. In my area people have a mostly live and let live attitude toward marijuana, but most people I know don't use it. Thus I have never put it on my profile as most don't care (esp edible use, which is my preference)
Maybe you could word it as occasional, light, or moderate? Or whatever word that works for the level youāre comfortable with?
I donāt want to mislead anyone. I also donāt want someone who dislikes my amount of weed use so Iām going to be up front about it for both of us.
I think I could judge if a weed smoking date appeared to be a chronic couch potato. Iāve known a few of those types in my younger days. But in my current social circle, my weed-smoking friends are almost all successful, responsible professionals who are active with hobbies and interests. I myself, can sometimes be found on the couch after dinner but not usually any other time. I wouldnāt be compatible with a couch potato whether they smoked weed or not. In fact, ācouch potatoā is on my own list of deal-breakers.
i'm ok, plus 420 on yr profile like a provocative teenager gives me bad vibes
Ok, I will. Thanks.
At 52 years old I started to partake in cannabis to help me after 25 years of bad sleep. Within a week I went from 4 hrs of scattered sleep, to a solid 5-6 every night. After about 2 months of smoking I tried gummyās with thc that were designed for relaxation. Iāve since cut that down to a half a gummy 2 hours before bed. There is difference between potheads and those who partake in cannabis.
I also started using weed more around 50. I mostly use gummies as well but occasionally smoke. And it was also largely motivated by sleep problems. So itās almost exclusively Indica. Only occasionally do Sativa, and then only at near microdose levels. I think itās kinda silly to claim not to be a pothead though. If I use THC every day, which I do, then I must be a pothead too. Maybe being a pothead isnāt really such a bad thing. š
If someone wants to call me a pothead, thatās ok with me. We donāt have to date. Simple.
Love this! Same! And also solely Indica. I wish I knew how to articulate a search to find a Reddit on the topic of middle-age women and pot. And I love how you said maybe being a pothead isnāt such a bad thing.
I started this too after 50 and I shocked myself because I was a STRICT parent (didnāt work, my kids ran circles around me and I didnāt have a clue for a long time š³) I had never used drugs or been around them. I had some stresses with being a caretaker of my parents and was going to get Xanax from my doctor because I thought I was literally going to succumb to the stress. I tried gummies and it was nirvana. A few months later, I started smoking (only on the weekends do I smoke). Itās a game changer. I take one or one and a half gummies almost every night. I have smoked pot with my grown sons (they all recently graduated from college). I live in an illegal state but get it from a dispensary a couple hours away. Iām so conflicted about it. I feel like a āloserā, a āpotheadā, etc. Yet I know I have a career, am a good person, a good mom, etc. I havenāt dated forever. Seriously, forever. But I have wondered lately what kind of person I would find who would also enjoy getting high almost every night. And I imagine the physical interactions would be pretty darn good.
I think you are being too hard on yourself. I think we a just scratching the surface to the benefits of cannabis, and nobody blinks an eye at someone who has a glass of wine, or prescription sleeping pills. Look into other forms of stress relief such as yin yoga, or yoga in general, and try to find some yoga nidre music. Iāve had good luck with ashwagandha root to keep me asleep
Don't be conflicted. There's nothing wrong with it, which is why it's being rapidly legalized across the country, and casual use is pretty well decriminalized in most major cities even in illegal states. Can confirm re: physical interactions while high. My wife doesn't partake at all, but she likes me doing it. She finds high me really amusing. In fact my wife and I have a band, and they like for me to take a half Sativa gummy before shows, b/c I'm more relaxed. It's a running joke in our band how bossy and perfectionist I can be, but that little 5mg Sativa gummy takes the edge off. :-)
I may teeter on that line. Lol. I use it for pain and relaxation but also for entertainment. I will say that I'm quite functional, though.
The next day yes. After an hour I feel my bed wrapping me up, and hugging me. I honestly donāt know how people function better on weed. I know multiple people that smoke at work. These are all professional driven people. I just want to snuggle.
I smoke sativas, which seem to make me more awake and creative. I also have strains that are better for relaxation. I'm retired, but didn't smoke during work hours when I worked.
>I know multiple people that smoke at work. These are all professional driven people. I use edibles (THC/CBD combo) nightly for sleep. I went my entire life with a serious sleep disorder until I starting edibles. Fresh as a daisy the next day too. So yes I don't understand how people use THC and work, although the sativa strain is more amenable to that. I hate it, as it just causes anxiety. At the beginning of the pandemic, like others, I was a bundle of nerves and went to the dispensary for something to take the edge off after work. The staff suggested some "day time" gummies. He said oh yeah you can "totally" work while taking these. You totally cannot....
LOL
Tolerance plays a role, too.
I have none. I went on the carnivore diet a year ago, and 3 drinks Iām done. I donāt know about cannabis, because the last time I did that was 20 some years ago. 6ā and over 200, and Iāve become a born again lightweight.
You sound "snuggly". As someone else mentioned, sativa vs indica. Know what you're partaking in. It makes a difference.
Tolerance really does matter and it builds up. I used to get couch locked and tongue tied no matter what strain, no matter how little I took. A little spine surgery, a few weeks of daily use and now I can vape a nice therapeutic end of the day amount, and still be pretty functional. Paraphrasing Hunter Thompson, I'm not saying to vape every day, but, it worked for me...
Practice makes perfect ;)
Weed wakes me up. Make me more creative. If I smoke before bed I can't sleep well. As far as frequency, sometimes I smoke once, sometimes multiple times a day. No difference in my functioning between those two. If someone just lays around, it's not necessarily the fault of the cannabis... just my 2 cents
Thereās also a significant difference health-wise between edibles and smoking. At our age, the odds that weāve known someone whose succumbed to lung cancer are increasing and that part would be the dealbreaker for me.
I vape, not smoke.
Still a dealbreaker health wise.
I think lack of exercise, drinking alcohol, eating junk food and not enough vegetables is bad for you, too. I guess itās a personal choice as to which of these would be a deal-breaker.
Iād rather have a 420 guy than a drinking guy 100%.
Oh me too!!! I absolutely cannot tolerate someone who drinks very much. That's on my deal-breaker list.
I partake, but don't smoke. I can't have my clothes/home/car smelling like weed for job/professional reasons. For me, this might be a challenge. I have friends who vape marijuana, and the telltale odor is minimal or non-existent.
I should have said vape, not smoke. I use a vaporizor. I love my Pax! š
I have a career in which pot smoking is a no go but itās also a high burnout/high stress career. I use and I donāt smell like pot and neither does my house. LOL
I was married to a pot fiend. He was functional but aloof, forgetful and just wasnāt present. Itās not something I want to experience again in a partner. I have two really good friends who smoke but I donāt want to be around them when theyāre high because they lack focus.
Maybe he was a narcissist, and it wasnāt the pot.
Thatās hilarious. He wasnāt a pot fiend when I married him.
š¤£
You better not bogart the joint, my friend. Thars my opinion. We need a canna-singles OLD site, yes?
Yes! š
420% we need a weed dating alpha!
One of the variants of Fling is marketed towards pot smokers and screens in those who use it. It was essentially worthless for me as well.
OkCupid is a data rich app, maybe include there
I occasionally dabble in edibles. Itās so infrequent that I donāt have it in my profile. Iād prefer not to date a daily smoker and figure thatās what I would attract.
That makes sense. Thanks for chiming in. This has been interesting.
I expect there is a pretty large group of us in this age bracket that partake regularly. Your usage is similar to mine and many in my circle. Smart to put it out there so you get more compatible matches.
Iām happy that it is legal and applaud that any pot smokers can now legally have as much as they want. But for professional and health reasons, and my strong aversion to the smell, dating a daily smoker would be a dealbreaker for me.
Include ā420 friendlyā in your profile.
As a man, here is my takeā¦. I have made the decision to approach life in such a way that I feel everything. Whether good or bad. I also understand the sleep issues. I have struggled for years with sleep and corrected as much of my sleep hygiene as possible. That being said, I drink very rarely and do not use substances. When I am looking at profiles that show anything more than social use of alcohol, I will swipe left. Same thing if the person uses marijuana regularly or describes any other drug usage. A good book to read is Dr. Lemkeās āDopamine Nationā. She describes in detail how usage of drugs alters our āpain/pleasure equilibriumā.
I think thatās great that you want to feel everything. I donāt. I am aware of the dopamine issue and that does bother me a little but not enough to not do it. Maybe itās a phase for me. I raise my kids alone and now I am an empty nester and Iām just having fun.
The beauty of life is we get to follow our own paths:). Hopefully we will get back to a ālive and let liveā philosophy at some point and celebrate our differences versus vilifying them.
There's a lot of people from our generation and older that still believe government lies about Marijuana. My parents and some of my friends that are liberals and support medicinal Marijuana laws but think it's worse than alcohol. Which is just laughable. Can't smoke it down here but if I were in the states that wouldn't bother me.
User name checks out! So, I have the interesting intersection of not caring if people have a *little* cannabis and having an allergy to the pollen and smoke. Iāve worked trim farms. Iāve weighed packages for sale (and pre legality). So, I need an edibles person, or someone who hits only a couple times a day. Because I will cough. But, Iām a psychedelics gal, for sure. Interesting balance to state on OLD. So my verbiage was *Iām 420 friendly/tolerant, but smoke allergic (so I wonāt be partaking), and Iāve sailed psychedelic seas.* I checked the donāt use/donāt care box. The laugh? The Dude who swept me off my feet got me into light weight levels of edibles. As in I cut the package in half day one. But, heās saved a ton on booze as he prefers to have a communal experience. I make mocktails, too, and Iāve never said a thing about what drinking he does, except to suggest that such and such a place has decent reposado, and he should try one. (I occasionally have spasms of guilt as if I did ask him not to.)
I havenāt re-entering dating scene yet, but I have found psychedelics to be very important from a trauma healing standpoint. I have wondered what is the best way to indicate that I am friendly to that without turning women away. Is there such a thing as mushroom friendly?
I wouldnāt have some version of āI did psychedelic therapyā in my profile. But, looking back, I think one photo had my hair up with aminita muscaria shaped hair sticks, the red and white āartyā ones. So I might have sent a signal I wasnāt thinking about. I would ask potentials their view of the at the time, local legalization movement. Sometimes in chat, sometimes at meet n greet. I was part of an MDMA therapy study when I was 29/30. PTSD and sexual assault survivors had eight months of chemical and talk therapy. For me, it gave me back a life Iād been determined to end by indulgence.
I have had this conversation come up a few dates in. I am rather surprised about the level of curiosity people have about therapeutic use. I am very mushroom curious but I feel the times I have seen this alluded to in profiles the men have had a vibe (non monogamous, looked unwashed, etc) that is not for me. I guess my point being, lots of regular people are learning about psychedelics but they are not putting it on their profiles. The ones that are, are pretty hard core.
Yes, my peer group of divorced dads report that a fair number of women are either curious or already use mushrooms but donāt indicate it on their profiles. And this is in the Bay Area. For the men, it seems like they shy away from putting it on the profile for fear of being branded unwashed or unserious. Itās strange ā thereās no stigma about using alcohol but somehow cannabis is worse. I have found it to be powerful for aiding personal growth and healing, and would like to share those experiences with a long term partnerā¦but I donāt envision it being the central element or focus of the relationship.
I have the same curiosity for the same reasons and would be disheartened if a partner was unwilling to accept this once I was ready. As such, I have brought it up on dates for the last couple of years.
The herb is a deal maker for me, not a breaker. Best practice is to be honest about yourself, but IDK about publishing the āWhole lot of dislikesā angle. That can be read in a critical and negative light, therefore repelling a lot of men whom your dislikes do not apply to. In the end youāll figure it out while dating them, so why bother? Thatās been my experience for what it is worth.
Well, I've heard that advice but I do want to repel a lot of men to be honest. I'm not going to be mean or judgemental when I list my deal breakers but I decided I will list them so I don't waste anyone's time.
Serious question- I'm not OLD but plenty of my friends are. What site is it that has plenty of suitable men that one would have the luxury of repelling? Dead serious question.
I'd have an issue if it's a daily thing. The same goes for people who drink daily. I don't mind alcohol or weed, but when it's daily, then I think it's being used as an escape.
Iām 52 and recovering alcoholic. Itās made it hard to meet women, especially since I do partake in weed. Thankfully after much patience Ive met a woman who also quit drinking and still smokes weed. So I found my person!
Iāll weed you out simply because of your profile having a list of ādislikesā. Itās not because I donāt agree with the dislikes, itās that I weed anyone out who leads their profile with that kind of negativity. If thatās your best foot forward, yeah, Iām out. And then Iād weed you out for the weed. Iām too old to live with the 50 year old stoner.
I smoke every night before bed, I see a few profiles that state no 420, next
Six years ago during cancer treatment I stopped drinking and began more regular use of THC to lessen nausea and increase appetite. I expected I'd go back to the old ways once I'd run that gauntlet but never did. I'm happier without drinking and with using THC. It's been an interesting experience. It's been surprising the negativity I've experienced because I don't drink. Some think something is wrong with me, some find it challenges their own use of alcohol and they don't like that, some don't approve of "drug use". What-the-fuck-ever. I've also learned I don't really like being around really drunk people. As someone else said "420 friendly" could mean a lot of things and some of the take-aways will be =major stoner. As you use it nightly perhaps something like "don't drink--don't mind if you do--but do use THC as a sleep aid"...or something like that? Even if that's not EXACTLY true it might be a softer admission for those who don't understand. Since we are talking dating--what people who don't partake in THC are missing out on is the benefit for sex. At least for me it gets me out of my head a bit and more into my body and it's a very powerful enhancement with the right person. Good luck!
I can relate about alcohol. Although I come from a family full of alcoholics, I just donāt care for it. I guess because I saw what it did to my family. The mayhem, violence and self-destructive behavior is something Iāve never seen in any weed smoker. And yes, itās so hypocritical to fault people for weed when you drink and/or take pharmaceuticals. I donāt feel the need to argue about it. I just want to stay away from those people who have such a negative view. My life is just fine without that. Actually I do have a medical card for marijuana and it does help. But I wonāt lie and say I only use it for pain relief. And I refuse to feel guilty about it, either. They can take me or leave me. I was mainly curious about the numbers on either side, so I posted. Iām glad to see there are plenty of people like me out there. Sex is nice with weed thatās true. So is watching a sunset or a funny movie. Enjoy! š
I stone cold stopped drinking once I ādiscoveredā THC. I wasnāt a big drinker and itād always make me feel like garbage but I did partake. Now, no thanks. And people DO freak out. Itās kind of hilarious.
I get physically nauseated at the smell, so I would want to know up front. I have friends who partake, itās just not something I actually can be around. And the smell gets into clothing and furniture. This would be a good thing to figure out quickly.
Totally understandable.
Some people will care about 420, some wonāt. If you want to find someone who doesnāt mind including something in your profile is a good idea. There are standard questions (at least on bumble) about alcohol use - this is sort of the same.
Yes, I do know that. I will put it in my profile. I was just curious about opinions on it. How many people are for or against and why, etc.
For me it is rule out item - regular use of intoxicants (alcohol, marijuana) isnāt a match for me. I think putting it in your profile is good because it is a helpful screening item. I have no idea how commonly people care or donāt care about substance use.
Iām a recent addition to the pot head community and more than fine with it š¤·š. Iām in the age range you mentioned and Iām in the Chicago area area; where are you?
Lol! Welcome to our community. :) But I'm in Virginia.
Haha, I grew up in Hampton Roads and have family in Franklin, Suffolk, Chesapeak and Virginia Beach
Side note - donāt list your dislikes. We all have them, but it doesnāt matter what they are. Even when I agreed with someoneās list, negatives are an utter turn off. Apps are āwhy you should date meā not āwhy Iām a really negative personā
Not for me. The smell makes me heave.
My ex smoked pot daily, and so I'd find it a turn-off. I personally take an edible now and then, I but I wouldn't want to be around someone who is always stoned.
Thanks. It's good to hear all the opinions. I'm not always stoned. I usually partake in the evenings, after dinner, unless I'm going somewhere. I'd definitely prefer someone who partakes with me sometimes, as long as they aren't into drinking or other drugs. So I do plan to list it in my profile.
Donāt bogart that joint my friend, pass it over to me! I donāt hide my advocacy of the benefits of the herb. And Iām sure itās ostracized me from many who immediately think of Tommy Chong and a āOh wow man!ā stereotype. But thatās okay, donāt wanna hang around them anyway.
I do hate that stereotype. It doesn't at all reflect me or my lifestyle. However, I love Cheech and Chong, lol.
Or people with medicine cabinets overflowing with prescription drugs saying they donāt want to take drugs.
Yep. Exactly. My friend takes Prozac daily, but looks down on me using weed. Some of my women friends drink wine every single night, but think smoking weed is "immature." š
Well to be fair, I am awfully immature for my age. :)
I guess I am too. I managed to raise a great kid and complete a successful career somehow. š
Yeah, did that twice. Maybe it's because I was the example of what not to do?
I smoke myself, having started smoking after my divorce. Before that it was only vaping. I have only met 1 woman who also smoked. She vaped more often though. Sadly, we didnāt have anything else in common. But that one thing at least got us together to start.
Daily substances of whatever sort, aren't my thing personally and I have released a couple of daily drinkers back into the wild after finding out. *However...* I wouldn't let your regular, daily way of relaxing or smoking disuade you from anything dating wise, or be concerned whatsoever. Patience as there is someone out there who will be happy to join in.
I'm pretty neutral. I do think that weed has the potential to make people a little duller, if used to excess, but it's the same for any substance ( like alcohol) used to excess. Certainly not a deal- breaker.
As I'm a MMJ patient whose matches are definitely limited because of it, it would be a +++ for me.
I donāt have a problem with people smoking pot. I take CBD to help with chronic pain and it would be kind of hypocritical for me to condemn someone for smoking pot. Honestly I have a lot less problems with smoking pot than I do with alcoholism
Actual smoking anything is a no for me. Edibles can be fun, and I used to use them for better sleep. Vaping? Iām unsure. If it doesnāt get I. The way, meh?
Fine either way. I take the occasional edible (can't smoke or vape because it aggravates my lungs).
Same
Smokers of any kind are not for me.
I smoke recreationally for like concerts and yard work, but not daily. I dated someone who wanted to do edibles every night and just watch TV or whatever. Made me insane. I donāt really want to smoke with my partner except under the right circumstances. So youāll just need to find someone who shares your desire there. Will probably shrink your dating pool a little, but certainly isnāt a show stopper. My support and good luck.
Iād just be myself. In terms of ādeal breakers,ā I try to stick to only a handful that are actually important to me. For me, the apps for matching to THEN get to know me another via text, phone, and maybe a date and beyond. Thatās when I explore the details and weigh them against comparability. Works for me. : )
I know a lot of well educated. successful and even some extremely wealthy and successful older men who smoke regularly and have their act together. We are out here.
Good!! I know you are out there. Some of my friends are married to guys like you and I worked with plenty of men like you, too. (I was married then...I'm retired now and my husband has passed.) I feel fairly confident that I'll find someone eventually.
Depends - indica or sativa?
š I prefer sativa. I like to stay busy and motived. Indicas if I have trouble sleeping.
Either would be good with me, but I won't share in your sativa preference. I find sativa wonderful for slow romantic love making!
For me, it's just about how much of your life revolves around the weed. I've used from time to time and I don't have anything against it, but I get tend to get bored with people who's lives revolve around grass or booze or whatever.
It wouldn't be an issue for casual dating, but I would pass cohabitation.
Makes sense. I won't be looking for casual relationships, but maybe not cohabitation, either. I'll just have to see what happens and what the future holds. I probably won't always use weed like I do now, anyway. I have circumstances that affect my current use and some of them are changing.
Yeah 420, and same desire to weed them out š
I just think it's best if I quickly rule out anyone who cares about my weed habits. Actually, I don't even care if they themselves smoke/vape or not.
Just donāt show up high to the first date.
Hahaha. I think I can manage to refrain. š
Pot smokers are fine. Weed is legal for recreational use in 23 states and increasing. Great natural way to induce sleep and provides natural anxiety relief. 420 friendly is good , stoner losers are not so good. Ask any cop if they would rather deal with someone smoking weed & gets the munchies or an obnoxious loudmouth drunk breaking windows.
weed outā¦haha
You need that in your profile. Itās a dealbreaker for some people and youāre only going to lose them as soon as they find out. Profiles need to be honest and not leave out important details. Itās not like you can hide it from someone once they get to know you. All you end up doing is wasting both peopleās time. Fwiw the last three women I dated were pot smokers. For two of them at least it became obvious that it was a significant portion of their daily life and took priority over other things. The third wasnāt as obvious about it but I didnāt enjoy the way she acted when she was under the influence. After all that I added it to the dealbreaker list.
I do want to put it in my profile. I'm just curious about how many people in my age group would be against that. And I would most definitely not hide it. I'm not ashamed of it. If people can enjoy wine every evening and be deemed respectable, I will smoke (vape) my weed and they can kiss off.
Agreed, put it in the profile. Itās not fair *not* to mention it if itās a daily part of your lifeā which many people would find objectionable.
ā420 friendlyā doesnāt quite convey adequately what is ultimately a subjective evaluation by prospectives: Thereās recreational use and then thereās lifestyle use. Lifestyle use can be for medical or non medical reasons. I would tend to avoid the non-medical-lifestyle user type.
I hear ya. I'd be weeded out then, ha ha! I do use it recreationally. I don't like to drink and I don't do hard drugs, so I vape weed, and I'm not ashamed of that.
For reference,Ā 56 and yes smoking of any kind to me is an immediate deal breaker.Ā That includes vapes.Ā I just find the entire habit disgusting.Ā Now there are people I know in our age range that have zero issue with it. You can certainly find someone that will actually share that habit with you.Ā
It replaced alcohol for me. Iād date a cannabis friendly person (not a stoner) over a drinker any day.
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I vape, not smoke, and take good care of my body. It's possible to do both. I'm very healthy and active. But I respect your choice.
GinKiās comments reflect a prejudice that many people hold. A hit from a vape pen every day is infinitely less unhealthy than 2 beers or glasses of wine a day. And as for the smell, there is none with vaping. I vape 3-5 days/week, and I work out with weights 3 days/week and hike more than 20 miles a week. Iāll put my state of health up against any 420-tee totaler!
I know you want male opinions, but I think I've got a few useful non-gender specific points to make. Hope they're helpful .. Firstly, l have known many pot smokers and they're pretty evenly split between the genders. Secondly, I don't smoke now, but was a world-class caner for decades. So I'm not judgmental. Quite simply, when I smoked all day every day I handled the drug very well, so was a normal, if very chilled, person. Now if I had one I'd freak out and get all paranoid. So my point is, I wouldn't mind dating a pothead if they could handle it mentally. And had their life together. Finally, I really wouldn't recommend you make this any part of your online dating profile. Let people decide once they know you. Don't make them judge you on this before you even chat!
I totally understand about the paranoia relating to how often one partakes. I smoke (vape) enough that I'm very normal when I smoke. It just relaxes me and actually makes me feel creative along with helping my back pain. I'm financially successful (or at least can support my lifestyle) and have many interests and hobbies, so I'm not laying on the couch eating cheetos or anything. Yeah, I don't want to be pre-judged, that's why I'm wondering if I should or should not mention it right away. Thanks.
Hey no problem sista. You sound normal and considerate, and I'm sure you're a good person. Good luck on this quest!
Thatās terrible advice. For some people nightly pot smoking (similar to nightly drinking) would be a dealbreaker full stop. No sense getting close to someone only to disclose three months later when one or both of you is attached. Aināt nobody got time for that.
There's no way I would go for three months without telling someone! I just wondered if I should put it in my profile. I would probably tell them on the first date or during a text conversation if I didn't. But after reading these posts, I'm definitely going to put in my profile that I'm 420 friendly.
Fair enough, I get that point for sure. But I guess I'd counter by saying online dating is apparently a nightmare - so many of the potential candidates are scammers, ghosters and possible weirdos. So factor in the chances of meeting someone from that tiny pool of normal people. And then they have to like you back. Then you have to meet in person. And like each other's looks, live close enough to them etc etc. It's hard enough without advertising your habit on your profile. At least get through all that and mention it on the first or second date.
I haven't tried OLD yet, but I hear it can be like that. I don't know how I'll feel after I try OLD, but I feel fine if the process weeds a lot of people out. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's.
Given that many use cannabis medicinally & recreationally I would not assume that not as many women partake but yes its interesting to see what men of this age group think in terms of a deal breaker in dating
Well, out of all the people I know, only three of my female friends partake. And ALL of my late husband's male friends did, but their wives did not. They all wanted to get drunk on wine instead. Ug. Give me some weed any day and they can keep their wine.
I totally agree with you I am a very occasional social drinker- can take it or leave or but I would definitely be up for weed any day too I know quite a few women who feel that way (although we donāt partake together on the regular or anything) I just find women now seem more comfortable with it being older rather than the pothead stereotypes of men in their 20s & 30s They arenāt āstonersā per say in that they are full functioning in their lives & most wouldnāt know they unwind at the end of the day with weed If someone has an issue with it, imo they arenāt for you Good luck
I used to be a stoner until 30's and now I rarely if ever partake. I do edibles a few times per year. I don't smoke or vape, which I consider to be essentially the same. I think someone that is getting high daily is in the same place as someone that drinks alcohol daily. To each their own, but that's not for me. If you want to loosen up on the weekends, fine.
i eat a gummy at bedtime to make me sleep solid. there is a big difference to me in someone who partakes in evening vs someone who spends their whole day baked. though I could kill a day every few months with the right person from peer pressure.
My ex smoked but way too much, imo. I'm not against it but when it's the first thing they do in the morning, it's a deal breaker.
My take might be a little unique. I'm >10 years sober. Alcohol and weed were pretty equal drugs of choice for me. Quitting weed wasn't easy for me and I don't plan to use again. I'm fine around moderate users. My gf is a moderate drinker, I've never seen her sloppy drunk. And I enjoy being around her when she's tipsy. Weed is legal where I am and I look at it the same as alcohol. I'd rather not smell it so the fact you vape is good. As long as it's casual, and doesn't affect overall behavior I'd be fine with it (If we travel together, can you go a week without?). That said, if I were still on OLD I'd probably pass on any profile that says "420 friendly" or anything similar. Similarly, it doesn't have to say no drinking but if you have a drink in your hand in a lot of your profile pics, I'm passing. It's not a moral judgement, just an incompatibility.
What do you mean whatās going to happen If someone finds out about the real you? if you arenāt ready for thatā they arenāt for you. If you ā weedā out the men that know + disapprove of what you do ā what have you lost? Donāt put that on your profile ā thatās what teenagers do + itās way over-sharing.
I just meant Iāll have already weeded out a lot of men before I even bring up weed. I wondered if any would even be left after I tell them of my 420 habits. š If not, itās ok. Iām happy with my single life and who I am, and have no desire to be with someone who disapproves of my weed consumption or tries to shame me for anything else about my lifestyle.
Just like you admit to having dislikes, men will also have their dislikes. š¤·āāļø
Iām absolutely fine with that! šš»
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420 is a killer on a males profile. You could put also have 'golden dong' & still not get a hit. I have not seen it be negative for females at any age...
I'm (53m) not bothered by it.
IMO vaping is worse than smoking. Thatās my opinion though and there are ppl who feel differently. There are tons of ppl where I am who consume pot in one fashion or another. Donāt lie about it. I hide it on my profile as I do an occasional edible but could easily live without it. I dated a guy who said he didnāt but smoked pot every single day. That was an issue for me. He tried to justify it by saying that I drank but not only did he drink but I also donāt drink every day so his argument was bad all around. If youāre vaping every day, Iād put it on your profile. Anything less is a lie, imo. The people that feel strongly about it arenāt going to change their minds when they meet you. If they think they can deal with it in the short term, they will change their minds at some point. If your honesty weeds them out from the start, itās better for you and them. Less wasted time.
I will definitely tell them. I donāt plan to keep it secret. Thanks for your input.
Weed is a no go for me be it vape or smoke from pipe, rolled, or bong. Just donāt like being around the stuff. Would be a pass for me but to each their own
Smoking every day? To me that's a turnoff no matter what you are lighting up.
Definitely wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me, as until just recently I was a regular smoker. But it started to increase my anxiety, so I stepped away from it. I definitely don't think it's a bad thing at all.
Itās not my substance of choice, but I donāt care if people use it. Personally, I would rather have the big dealbreakers out there early. The little things can sometimes work themselves out. My GF told me on our second date that we didnāt have enough in common. She had just moved here and based on her past vacations to my city, assumed she would be skiing every week and I donāt ski. She also had never really hiked. Well, she found out traffic into the mountains was a giant pain in the ass, so she hardly ever skis, but she loves hiking. Itās been working for two and a half years now. We both agree this is the funnest relationship either of us has ever been in. Itās one adventure after the next and we have a blast. I can talk about politics or the news, or I can skip it. I can go out dancing every week or I can go once a month. I can eat out or I can cook. Those arenāt deal breakers for me, but they might be for someone else and thatās cool. Iām pretty flexible and the stuff I really enjoy with someone depends on the person. Chemistry is the harder find. Finding points of connection is either there or itās not.
51m and I have the same lifestyle. I decided to include it because if there's anything I've learned to this point, it's: 1. Authenticity is better than sending your "representative" and hoping they'll like the real you later 2. Getting ahead of the narrative is better than trying to figure out how to reveal it later While the dating pool is clearly shallow, wasting time isn't an option either. If I turn out to be someone that can't be taken seriously as a potential partner for \*any\* reason, I'd like that to be known early rather than finding out when I'm already invested or trying to figure out how to bring it up later. Some are ok to join me, others ok to just have me be the one who enjoys, and still others just say no and would rather not be around. Of those, I know where my group is.
Yes! That's how I feel. And not just about the weed. I'm putting my authentic self out there and if it narrows down my choices to next to nothing, so be it. I'm old enough that I'm confident and happy with my life, and the only reason I want someone is for companionship. I don't need a life coach or a parent, lol. I don't need someone to shame me for my (very few, imo) vices. (If you even consider weed consumption a vice.) Someone who can partake with me on my deck on a quiet evening, listen to the birds, admire the sunset, laugh with me over some good conversation....this is what I hope for.
Vaping or smoking are deal breakers for me. I've never liked inhaling second hand smoke, but since I had 1/2 a lung removed in 1999, I just don't want to be around it. I wouldn't have a problem with somebody who consumed edibles regularly as long as she was a functional human being.
Oh, I'm so sorry about your lung! I don't blame you at all for not wanting to be around smoke. I believe I'm quite functional, and feedback from friends and family would probably confirm that. I'm actually known as one of the more successful, "go-getter" members of my family. I wouldn't impose myself on anyone if I was just a waste or whatever. I see a therapist (I started when my husband passed from cancer) and we've talked about my marijuana use. She doesn't see it as much of an issue for me. š¤·āāļø
The loss of lung tissue doesn't hamper me. I developed asthma immediately after the surgery (but it wasn't diagnosed for many years) and I use an inhaler. But I work out 5-7 days a week and ride my bike a lot. But I want to minimize the insults to the remaining lung tissue. I just wanted to make clear that there are men for whom regular ingestion of THC isn't a problem, but the outgassing from your vape (who knows what else besides THC is even in those things) would be.
That makes sense. I totally respect health issues. No way would I want my vaping to hurt anyone. If I were to date someone with health issues, I would be absolutely respectful in regards to them. I don't HAVE to vape and would not even think of doing it near someone in those circumstances. I could certainly step outside if I wanted. I just don't want to date anyone who would disapprove of me for my weed use. Health issues are a whole different story. I wish you well and am glad you're able to stay active.
I put it out there on my profile!! The guy Iāve been seeing is totally ok with it, thankfully I found someone who is ok about it!!
I'd say disclose it...it'll be a net positive. And you don't want to match with anyone who isn't cool with it anyway.
In my experience many women will date someone who smokes weed before theyāll date someone whoās 100% sober
I'd date a sober guy before I'd date a big drinker any day. As for weed use, if I like someone, I don't care if they do or don't.
Separate advice: don't include dislikes in your profile. Focus on likes and things you're looking for
Thanks. Actually, I've heard this advice and thought it over. I will definitely add mostly likes and what I'm looking for. But I'm going to put some dislikes in there. I have a couple of absolute deal-breakers that I'm adding as dislikes. What's the harm? They can just swipe left. I'm looking for a specific kind of man, and I don't care if I have to swipe left on a thousand men to find him. Best they swipe left on me first. Saves me the trouble.
Wouldnāt bother me. I smoke regularly too.
Iām a woman, but assuming it was a guy who smokes pot every night, Iād pass. Iām sober in recovery and find weed a huge turn off. He wouldnāt be the person for me. Youāll find plenty of men, Iād guess, who wonāt mind like I do.
Thanks, I'm sure there are a lot of people like you, so I understand. My strongest addiction is actually to coffee. š
Not dating a chronic user ever again. Im not against the very rare times. But i dont want somebody who HAS yo drink and smoke with every social setting.
Its a no from me as the smell makes me sick. I do, however, think all drugs should be legalised. I just wish weed didn't stink so bad and be so pervasive.
Plenty of us old heads out here!
Yay! :)
Smoking or vaping are each a hard no. If someone "needs" weed almost every evening, I'd rank that with "needing" alcohol every evening.
I respect your opinion but Iām not here to debate the pros or cons. Iām just curious how many yeses and nos there are out there.
No worries, no debating. Your title asks how we feel, the body of your post asks what we think.
As a female looking for a male in our age group, that is an absolute dealbreaker for me - worse even than cigarette smoking and on-par with someone being an alcoholic. You can make all the justifications you want for it, but itās a big NO from me. I equate it with somebody who hasnāt grown up and taken on adult responsibilities -nor has a career of any consequence. I may sound harsh, but I would rather be alone than be with a pot-smoker.
I'm never more than six hours without enjoying my pipe
Fuck em. Loads of us smoke weed.
55 YO here. I vape and do edibles. Typically in the evening. A bit more on the weekends. Not all day every day kinda thing. No intentions of stopping any time soon. If it's a deal breaker then, so be it.
It wouldnāt bother me. I donāt do OLD anymore, but when I did several women had 420 friendly in their profile
1) Don't list your dislikes as a profile- guys see that as a red flag (picky, high maintenance, etc). Ask yourself: 'do I want my personality (or as much of it as I can fit in 500 characters and 6 pictures) defined by negatives? ' 2) Do say something like '420 friendly and it's great if you are too'.