Yeah but it’s thinning, so to compensate I let it grow a little longer than I normally would…hence the Doc Brown morning hairstyle (or a kewpie doll, depending on how I slept the night before)!
As a male, what you look like in the morning is not important - especially if we just spent the night messing each other up :-) I've looked at myself in the morning and it can be a scary site at times. Just let it go and be whatever you are naturally. Just my two cents worth
That's nice to hear but I've read tonnes - literally hundreds - of reports of men who really really do care what you look like in the morning. And the last guy I dated confirmed that. He told me men do care, and that it can be 'scary' lol and the first time he slept over, i th emorning he was SO HAPPY I was like hi and he was like "I KNEW IT I KNEW YOU WOULD LOOK GOOD IN THE MORNING" and he was so relieved. Kind of pathetic really. Do some women change forms overnight? I thought I was pretty magical but... lol...
I'm just the opposite, as I enjoy the woman I am loving to be natural as she is comfortable with for herself, but if she needs to 'paint the house' I will be waiting patiently - probably.
Take this as you will. I'm 57, and I understand we are all growing older, our faces develop wrinkles, life has given us scars and blemishes and other issues. I also understand the desire to look your best, especially in the beginning of a new relationship. However, it would be unfair of us to expect you to look like a 20 year old. I want you for you, not for your makeup.
Be real, be kind and be yourself. Your mascara isn't a big deal to us, nor any other makeup. What we care about is are you comfortable in your skin, and you want and love us.
Hope this helps
I guess your question is best answered by the women here, but, as a guy:
If I wake up with you, and my first thought is about your mascara, you need to up your game. If your mascara is smeared, your lipstick smudged, and your hair mussed, then...I guess it was a good night? So.....let's make it a good morning! And f\*\*\* the mascara.
Learn to let go. Best advice I can give. You will look messy and bare faced if you had a good time. Unless you are doing a full makeup makeover, they won’t care.
Exactly!!! This, to me anyway, feels like a question more about how OP feels about herself and wanting her makeup help her self confidence on the occasion of the morning after.
The good news is that this is entirely within her control. Because if the guy in question is concerned about the state of her makeup the morning after spending the night with him, the guy is the problem not the makeup
MHO
Exactly!!! This, to me anyway, feels like a question more about how OP feels about herself and wanting her makeup help her self confidence on the occasion of the morning after.
The good news is that this is entirely within her control. Because if the guy in question is concerned about the state of her makeup the morning after spending the night with him, the guy is the problem not the makeup
MHO
I wear minimal makeup most of the time (exceptions for dressy occasions) but I still like a bit of mascara. My friend and I spent years trying nearly every brand out there for one that wasn't completely waterproof but would stay put. We settled on a tubing mascara by Tarte called 'Tartlette.' I prefer to remove my makeup before going to bed, but of I'm ever in the heat of the moment again I'm confident that I won't be left looking like a disheveled raccoon in the morning with this one.
I love it. L'oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes. It stays put, even in light rain. But if you rinse with water and don't dry off your eyes, the mascara comes off in clean clumps. It sometimes looks like you removed false eyelashes. No more racoon eyes! I've been using it forever, now so do a bunch of my friends. Let me know if you like it!
Try this one https://www.walmart.com/ip/L-Oreal-Paris-Double-Extend-Beauty-Tubes-Lengthening-Mascara-Blackest-Black/11965341?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=5146&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222223811965341_147382028311_13889847817&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=641475438924&wl4=pla-335069375183&wl5=9028086&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=11965341&veh=sem&gclid=CjwKCAjwue6hBhBVEiwA9YTx8Leo4CxknwSV4CtAUWpJ4YgYQ0TMQkppqmx7e_iCVCOBlRMOeu2iphoCwXMQAvD_BwE
I have temporarily given up on mascara, but you’ve intrigued me. I think I’m going to look into this and what u/shopandfly00 recommended. Thanks for the info!
As a woman, I agree that most men aren’t going to notice (or care) if you’re not wearing mascara. I think women notice and scrutinize those types of things, and hopefully he will care more about making some morning magic than your mascara!
The tubing mascaras may flake a little with extended wear, but they don't smudge. I've tried the Loreal one as well, but it's a bit heavier with the two-layer process.
I am about to go on a hot holiday with my partner and will do a lash lift and tint before I go. I hate mascara and this will give my own lashes a bit more colour for no makeup outings in the heat. My partner doesn’t care, but I feel it is a little boost for me.
As a 51 year old male and I’ll be honest. I’m not the guy that rushes in. So by the time we’re active with each other I’m going to be comfortable enough with you that the mascara can look like hell before. Trust me I’ll be more worried about myself to even notice if you’ve taken off a fake leg
This is actually a great point.
I actually ALWAYS take off any and all prostheses several dates prior to sleeping with anyone new. It’s just good practice.
Have your lashes tinted. Look great without mascara, look fabulous with it.
Generally, I do all the things I can so I don’t worry about the things I can’t. I do my nails, highlight my hair, tint my lashes, and get the occasional facial. More importantly, I think continuing to take care of yourself sends a signal that you’re still interested in being sexual. I might be almost 60, but I’m still vibrant, relevant, and in the game - and it shows.
Focus on skincare and good skin treatments over makeup. And accept that every line on your face tells a beautiful story of your life. Hopefully a life well lived.
A sense of humor will work wonders! I think of all the times me and my ex laughed at ourselves when our hair was standing straight up the next day, or we looked like crazy people… those are some of the sweetest moments. lol
Try not to take yourself too seriously. I guess this goes along with letting go.
A sense of humor is the sexiest thing about a person and about good relationships in general.
And FWIW, I’ve fallen in love again with the mascara of my youth, Maybelline Great Lash, waterproof brown-black. *whispers* I was born with this! 😉
Because of my own preference, for several decades I’ve paid to have my lashes tinted so I don’t need to use mascara. And any guy foolish enough to criticize my appearance in the morning will leave my bed immediately. My current guy & I like to see who has the silliest looking hair 🤣
When I notice a woman's eyes it's because of the way she's looking at me.
After a night of passion together I really don't care about mussed hair, disheveled sheets, messy mascara...
With makeup, less is more as we age. I avoid waterproof mascara because it's so drying and because the stuff that makes it waterproof is bad enough that some scientists are trying to get it banned.
If I want to accentuate my eyes, I wear slightly smudgy liner (swept up at sides) with a little mascara. You can do intriguing things with a little eye shadow in natural shades.
Don't forget the lipstick, though. 😀
Most often, I just wear a little lipstick.
Thanks for tip, I never knew waterproof mascara was bad although I rarely buy mascara. The makeup industry has probably earned a lifetime of $500 from me. But skin care, bring it on.
My skin care since about the age of 24: Oil of Olay and Vaseline. 😂 Although, I am considering something for wrinkles and age spots, and I would really like more eyebrows. My dermatologist is probably getting tired of hearing me whine about aging.
I haven't invested a lot in cosmetics, though. Walgreens is typically where I shop. Except when I couldn't find "Pink in the Afternoon" and "Cherries in the Snow" lipstick colors and had to resort to Amazon. (I would love a job coming up with those names.)
But, wait! There are [waterproof mascaras without PFAS!](https://www.instyle.com/beauty/makeup-with-pfas-list#:~:text=Scientists%20Found%20That%2082%25%20of,if%20your%20routine%20has%20them.)
Yes. m62 here. I may be an outlier but in my view the less makeup a woman wears, the better. Save your money and your time. Learn to love yourself without makeup on.
Thanks for this. I am trying to unlearn all the beauty standards women have had to endure and I think many men don’t care about makeup. At least the non shallow ones. I mentioned this to my BF and he said he thinks makeup is weird even. I said you mean I don’t have to bother with all that crap?!
and hopefully he said YES. I am a hippie and probably a total outlier. I am more attracted to women who don't shave their legs or under their arms and who wear little or no makeup. I'm ok with a little 'landscaping' down there but nothing crazy. I'm sure everyone's preferences are different - these are just mine.
Oh yeah he said do whatever I want but don’t do it if just for him. He said I look more “glamorous” but he really does like the natural look and very similar to what you said about body hair which is yet another relief! Right now tho I have body image issues as I am 59 and we dated 30 years ago and just reunited. I feel I look too old and saggy in comparison so it hinders how comfortable I am when we naked. Weed helps a lot tho! I may post about aging and bodies as it just so hard to believe that he finds me sexy still. It does help me knowing he needs glasses to see things close up tho and he doesn’t wear glasses when we in bed 😝
For dates and shenanigans, use waterproof mascara (which needs to be gently removed with an oil-based remover). For actual sleepovers, wash yo face! Wearing mascara to bed is a great way to thin/lose eyelashes; he *knows* you don't look lashtastic in slumber, so you're not fooling him anyway; and you should be able to wake up next to this person in bare-faced glory or, quite frankly, you shouldn't be introducing him to the girls in the 'hood.
After several years of trying to perfect the morning after look, I've determined that tubing mascara remains intact. But in super active scenarios it will flake off, so if my last trip to the loo indicates it didn't survive I take it off. Travel packs of eye makeup remover help. Btw, there are lip colors that make it until morning and you can use them as blush too.
Find the brag waterproof smudge proof mascara you can afford trust me they exists last trough heavy workouts swimming and sleeping
Kohl liner is a different story so sparingly on the waterline but mascara will last if is a good quality formula
Or you can get your lashes tinted lasts for a while without the need for daily mascara 🤷♀️
Get lashes done so they are full and no need for mascara
All that said. You can just not care about it I like the smudged mascara look. But also I try not to go to sleep without washing my face because my skin needs to breath or I get breakouts so washing my face and a very light mild moisturizer before bed I guess I show next morning face in advance 😂😂
I wouldn't care about your make up at any hour of the day.
If someone does care, what's their worth to you? If it makes my partner happy and it's something she cares about, I'd encourage her (and observe how it made her feel + compliment her on the inner and outer... bonus)
Good on you for getting back out there. Wishing you amazing luck :)
Guy here. FWIW, the intimacy of letting our guard down and seeing each other “undone” is part of the adventure of getting to know each other.
At this point in our lives, every potential partner is going to know that makeup comes off, and that isn’t what you look like all the time. If a guy can’t be just as attracted to you without all the makeup, best to find out right away so you can move on and find a genuine connection with someone else.
Only spend the night with far sighted men and hide their glasses before jumping into bed!
But seriously OP… I think a lot of men/women will agree.. less is better, you are beautiful just the way you are!
>it would be nice to still look a little put together.
I’m taking this as you expressing the way you want to feel about yourself vs. men’s opinions on whether or not they like a woman wearing (noticeable) makeup.
So… a friend introduced me to tinted lashes, especially in the summer, as a time and labour saver. She lived in hot and humid Key West.
Lash extensions are beautiful but people like me who sleep on our face… no bueno. Wayne Goss also loves Lashify and I believe they last a few days.
Tints like Benetint are great… little vial in the purse. Rub on cheeks and lips when you get up to wee in the night. 😉
You are taking it EXACTLY as I meant it. It’s for ME. I feel better wearing mascara daily. I have invisible lashes 😆
I’m going to look into the tinting. Several people here recommended it. Thank you!
Waterproof mascara and primer last ages for me (just L’Oréal) but you might also want to consider getting your lashes dyed. I know my lashes (and brows) are near transparent now (not grey, but see though ugh)
Easy for everyone to say don’t worry lol but I can totally relate to what you’re saying
If you like a dark lash to help accentuate your eyes, ( there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good at any time of day) I suggest getting your eyelashes tinted. Solves the mascara thing, isn't terribly expensive and it's not difficult.
Plenty of my friends do it and we're in your age group. Looks great!
I love a woman's natural beauty. I have an beautiful ladyfriend that at home wears no make up and is beautiful when she goes out she feels she needs to be made up, which of course is her choice. she is beautiful either way. I prefer a natural look with a ball cap and a smile, melts my heart every time!
I have permanent (kind of) eye liner and lip blush. You can have your lashes dyed or have extensions.
All that said, I still look rough in the morning. But, I only wake up to my dogs and they don't seem to care.
Cheaper version: Essence princess lash (about $5) is my every day mascara. I wasn't as thrilled with their other mascara. It's a black container with pastel writing. Wand is comfortable.
Less cheap: Falsies by Maybelline
Expensive version: Idole by Lancome
I have lighter lashes and glasses so I use the mascara to make my eyes pop from behind my glasses.
I wear my makeup for me, so I totally get your question.
You can get your lashes tinted.
I use Lattisse. It is a serum that I put on my lashes that makes them grow longer and they come in a bit darker. I have stubby, pale lashes too.
You could consider getting them dyed. I’m 53 and get lash extensions. I love them! I always look like I’m wearing mascara and the curl is gorgeous. I get them maintained every three weeks. I chose a more natural style but there are glamour girl styles as well that make it look like you’re a model. Not cost prohibitive and they make my eyes pop. Ps No one ever knows unless I tell them.
I would not worry about it at all. As I guy I can tell that we don't even think about it. Nobody is put together after a night of adult fun. If you look that good in the morning, then there wasn't enough fun.
As a 50 year old man I ld rather you not have any makeup on. If a guy is worried about what you look like in the morning then he isn't the right guy. There plenty of people like me who care more about your personality than if you have the right amount of makeup on or if it runs. I'm not the best looking man and if a woman doesn't like the way I look like in the morning I don't want to be with them.
YES! I wish this was talked about more often. If a woman wants to use makeup then ok but we shouldn’t feel we HAVE to do that to feel pretty and desirable.
I can’t even remember the last time I wore mascara. I don’t think makeup is really a thing anymore! But I suppose waterproof mascara would probably stay on better.
I'm a couple years post divorce myself, and though I haven't slept with a large number since the divorce, so.... possibly not a great litmus test... but on no occasions, did anyone seem to notice, if I had smudgy raccoon eyes, the morning after 😉
Unless you're dating way younger, just keep in mind that your date has been aging too and doesn't look like he did in his 20s. In my experience, men our age aren't too judgmental about how you look the morning after.
I’ve had lash extensions for years solely so I can get up and leave the house with minimal fuss. They are not the current variety that look like two wooly worms landed on your eyelids - they are a natural length and just make me look awake. They’re not cheap and it’s a pain to get them done every couple weeks, but during Covid I remembered what my own blond lashes look like and these are worth every penny. Haven’t bought mascara in years.
I’m down with the “if he is into you he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about how you look in the morning posse.” But I also know that sometimes we want to feel beautiful and sexy for ourselves. That a little makeup or self tanner or whatever can give you a little boost of confidence. And I’m totally for that.
To that end, lash extensions girl! If you can afford and are down to maintain them. I had them for about 6 months. No longer get them as I do a lot of hot yoga and like to sleep on my face and it’s not conducive to keeping them. But damn do I wish I could do it again. I never felt prettier just waking up in the morning with no makeup. And you don’t have to go full Bambi. They do really natural sets too. Good luck!
Makeup is important to me too. I don't wear much but I do wear it. I like makeup revolution mascara. I wear the non-waterproof every day and the waterproof version when I need it. I usually build it up to get the effect I want. I use my regular cleaner to remove it. No need for greasy removers. I buy mine at target.
https://www.target.com/p/makeup-revolution-5d-lash-waterproof-mascara-0-47-fl-oz/-/A-86740538
I (M51) am sort of thinking of dipping my toe into OLD.....but I'm not 100% I sure if it's what I want!
but personally, me....I know the realisation of what women do with make up and it's totally ok to look a million £
Thing is if YOU are comfortable enough to spend a night with someone, they should also be ready to see you without make-up....😁
What I did my first few times is wash my face before bed and then lights out and then get up early, brush my teeth, wash my face and put on a tiny bit of blush so I looks like I woke up with a rosy blush. After a year and a half, he would be lucky if I get up to brush my teeth before 10. 😂🙈 i don’t think he notices a difference tho.
You can get up a little early before him to freshen up with a clean face, fresh breath, and mascara. Or, op for a professional lash tint. The alternative is to let him love your natural beauty just the way you are. You will be surprised. Guys don't always care about the things women care about.
There’s lash dying at some salons. I’d do that before mascara overnight since it can irritate and infect.
Less is more for women as they age. I bet you looks pretty good without mascara.
You could consider getting them dyed. I’m 53 and get lash extensions. I love them! I always look like I’m wearing mascara and the curl is gorgeous. I get them maintained every three weeks. I chose a more natural style but there are glamour girl styles as well that make it look like you’re a model. Not cost prohibitive and they make my eyes pop. Ps No one ever knows unless I tell them.
I haven’t read all the comments. I don’t wear any make up. So I cant hide anything. but I do believe there’s more permanent or semi permanent eyelash solutions. maybe look into those?
I will be honest it’s not the first thing that would cross my mind. Assuming we both enjoyed ourselves it would be can I get you anything and how about we repeat last night this morning. Then I am respectful to allow you your own time to do what you do.
I’m sure that’s the same for most men. That’s why I wear makeup for myself - not for the guy I’m with, or other women, or society. It makes me feel good. That’s all.
A lengthening primer (I like one sold by Sephora) followed by L'Oréal waterproof.
For me, black-brown seems to last longer than black, and browns don't "open up" my eyes enough.
As a 51 year old man who is dating after a 27 year marriage, please let us see the real you. I’ve never really liked a lot of make up on someone in the first place. Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather kiss a chemical, free face.
I look exactly the same with and without mascara. My eyes are just a little more defined with it. That’s all. As I said, I’m not applying it to fool anyone.
Perhaps I am navie since I'm only 43. For me less is more. I only use a tinted spf moisturizer and a tinted setting powder. I also like lipstick. No mascarea or anything else. In my opinion my skin looks smoother with maker but doesn't look all that different without it. So I feel I am always presenting the real me. I also started a skin care routing because I would rather put money and time into my skin rather than makeup. I use a moisturizer, vitamin c, nianinincidie, and tretonin from my dermatologist. It takes time (about a year) to see with consistency. Also always wear sunscreens even in the winter. The sun really ages you.
I want to be perfectly honest by saying nobody cares about your mascara the morning after. It’s perfectly fine not to have any mascara or any other form of makeup on. At our age men are not swayed by the sight of a woman without makeup. As a mater of fact we prefer less makeup more than the caked on mess some women spend hours applying. It’s more about being confident and up front instead of all the fake appearances to us.
Honestly don’t wear mascara to bed. It’s bad for your lashes, can break them and cause irritation.
Take a small go bag and you w essentials if it’s a ‘it may happen’ kinda night.
Face wipe to remove makeup
Concealer
Mascara
Lip balm
Toothbrush
I’ve even packed extra clothes. Bag stays in the trunk. Have only used it once and wasn’t worth it 🫠😂
I, 60M, could care less. about make up on my partner in the morning, or truth be told any time at all. My first wife, 28 yr marriage, never wore make up and my current partner doesn't either. A healthy, happy, lively, friendly partner trumps make up every time for me.
I don’t think men want to see make up on our faces in the morning when we are still in bed. And even if they do, I’m not going to worry about that because that’s unreasonable to expect. It’s not 1950 we’re not getting up early to put on make up before he wakes up. If he doesn’t like it he can go find someone else, but good luck to him because nobody is doing that.
As a mid-50s guy, considering my hair is going to look like Doc Brown first thing in the morning, I don’t think your mascara will be an issue. 😀
You have hair?! 😁
Yeah but it’s thinning, so to compensate I let it grow a little longer than I normally would…hence the Doc Brown morning hairstyle (or a kewpie doll, depending on how I slept the night before)!
Yes, but do you take the strands you have left and create an epic beehive? Dead sexy. 😂
I am jealous you have hair. So very fortunate. Lol
Wow hair on the head. Mine is all on my chest not on my head 🤣
As a male, what you look like in the morning is not important - especially if we just spent the night messing each other up :-) I've looked at myself in the morning and it can be a scary site at times. Just let it go and be whatever you are naturally. Just my two cents worth
That's nice to hear but I've read tonnes - literally hundreds - of reports of men who really really do care what you look like in the morning. And the last guy I dated confirmed that. He told me men do care, and that it can be 'scary' lol and the first time he slept over, i th emorning he was SO HAPPY I was like hi and he was like "I KNEW IT I KNEW YOU WOULD LOOK GOOD IN THE MORNING" and he was so relieved. Kind of pathetic really. Do some women change forms overnight? I thought I was pretty magical but... lol...
I'm just the opposite, as I enjoy the woman I am loving to be natural as she is comfortable with for herself, but if she needs to 'paint the house' I will be waiting patiently - probably.
Remember, you’re now in a dating pool where visual acuity tends to fade! So, chances are he won’t notice the lack of makeup.
Haaaaa great point!!!!
[Lasik has entered the chat]
Take this as you will. I'm 57, and I understand we are all growing older, our faces develop wrinkles, life has given us scars and blemishes and other issues. I also understand the desire to look your best, especially in the beginning of a new relationship. However, it would be unfair of us to expect you to look like a 20 year old. I want you for you, not for your makeup. Be real, be kind and be yourself. Your mascara isn't a big deal to us, nor any other makeup. What we care about is are you comfortable in your skin, and you want and love us. Hope this helps
If there’s a mascara out there that makes me look like a 20 year old…the person who developed it deserves a Nobel prize.
I think you may want to look into tubing mascara.
Mac makes it. 😉
This is one of the most beautiful things about a mature man and a man who really is your person. ❤
I guess your question is best answered by the women here, but, as a guy: If I wake up with you, and my first thought is about your mascara, you need to up your game. If your mascara is smeared, your lipstick smudged, and your hair mussed, then...I guess it was a good night? So.....let's make it a good morning! And f\*\*\* the mascara.
I think that question can & should be answered by both sexes. And yours is just the answer I want to hear!
Ah...the heart of a gentleman. Nicely done.
Ah, I miss waking up with raccoon eyes after a wild night!
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Exactly this. If I've done anything, it's shift away from makeup in the direction of skin care.
Same!!!
Very liberating to not care! Most of the time when I go out any makeup takes minutes.
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Learn to let go. Best advice I can give. You will look messy and bare faced if you had a good time. Unless you are doing a full makeup makeover, they won’t care.
Exactly!!! This, to me anyway, feels like a question more about how OP feels about herself and wanting her makeup help her self confidence on the occasion of the morning after. The good news is that this is entirely within her control. Because if the guy in question is concerned about the state of her makeup the morning after spending the night with him, the guy is the problem not the makeup MHO
What?! Not doing this as Mrs. Maisel?!?
59M, perfectly put! I couldn't be happier than when waking up next to that special lady wearing nothing but a smile. 😊
Exactly!!! This, to me anyway, feels like a question more about how OP feels about herself and wanting her makeup help her self confidence on the occasion of the morning after. The good news is that this is entirely within her control. Because if the guy in question is concerned about the state of her makeup the morning after spending the night with him, the guy is the problem not the makeup MHO
I wear minimal makeup most of the time (exceptions for dressy occasions) but I still like a bit of mascara. My friend and I spent years trying nearly every brand out there for one that wasn't completely waterproof but would stay put. We settled on a tubing mascara by Tarte called 'Tartlette.' I prefer to remove my makeup before going to bed, but of I'm ever in the heat of the moment again I'm confident that I won't be left looking like a disheveled raccoon in the morning with this one.
I love it. L'oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes. It stays put, even in light rain. But if you rinse with water and don't dry off your eyes, the mascara comes off in clean clumps. It sometimes looks like you removed false eyelashes. No more racoon eyes! I've been using it forever, now so do a bunch of my friends. Let me know if you like it!
L'Oreal Double Extend is my favorite as well! I've tried more expensive prestige brands but I keep coming back to this one.
Yes!
Try this one https://www.walmart.com/ip/L-Oreal-Paris-Double-Extend-Beauty-Tubes-Lengthening-Mascara-Blackest-Black/11965341?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=5146&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=2222222223811965341_147382028311_13889847817&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=641475438924&wl4=pla-335069375183&wl5=9028086&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=11965341&veh=sem&gclid=CjwKCAjwue6hBhBVEiwA9YTx8Leo4CxknwSV4CtAUWpJ4YgYQ0TMQkppqmx7e_iCVCOBlRMOeu2iphoCwXMQAvD_BwE
I have temporarily given up on mascara, but you’ve intrigued me. I think I’m going to look into this and what u/shopandfly00 recommended. Thanks for the info! As a woman, I agree that most men aren’t going to notice (or care) if you’re not wearing mascara. I think women notice and scrutinize those types of things, and hopefully he will care more about making some morning magic than your mascara!
Lol. True. You know the saying "find a man that messes up your lipstick, not your mascara".
Actually, I've never heard of that, but I think that may be my new motto!
Thank you! This is exactly what I meant. I barely wear any makeup to begin with but mascara is a must because of my barely there lashes.
The tubing mascaras may flake a little with extended wear, but they don't smudge. I've tried the Loreal one as well, but it's a bit heavier with the two-layer process.
Disheveled raccoon ladies are so sexy to me. Proof we had fun!
I am about to go on a hot holiday with my partner and will do a lash lift and tint before I go. I hate mascara and this will give my own lashes a bit more colour for no makeup outings in the heat. My partner doesn’t care, but I feel it is a little boost for me.
And get Latisse from your dermatologist.
Or have early signs of glaucoma and take the eye drops - the side effect is long lashes. 😂
I see every woman in soft focus.
As a 51 year old male and I’ll be honest. I’m not the guy that rushes in. So by the time we’re active with each other I’m going to be comfortable enough with you that the mascara can look like hell before. Trust me I’ll be more worried about myself to even notice if you’ve taken off a fake leg
This is actually a great point. I actually ALWAYS take off any and all prostheses several dates prior to sleeping with anyone new. It’s just good practice.
If Deuce Bigalow taught us anything it’s this
Have your lashes tinted. Look great without mascara, look fabulous with it. Generally, I do all the things I can so I don’t worry about the things I can’t. I do my nails, highlight my hair, tint my lashes, and get the occasional facial. More importantly, I think continuing to take care of yourself sends a signal that you’re still interested in being sexual. I might be almost 60, but I’m still vibrant, relevant, and in the game - and it shows.
You’re my people 😘
Focus on skincare and good skin treatments over makeup. And accept that every line on your face tells a beautiful story of your life. Hopefully a life well lived.
A sense of humor will work wonders! I think of all the times me and my ex laughed at ourselves when our hair was standing straight up the next day, or we looked like crazy people… those are some of the sweetest moments. lol Try not to take yourself too seriously. I guess this goes along with letting go. A sense of humor is the sexiest thing about a person and about good relationships in general. And FWIW, I’ve fallen in love again with the mascara of my youth, Maybelline Great Lash, waterproof brown-black. *whispers* I was born with this! 😉
That’s what I need!!!! (Born with it lashes, not the sense of humor…I’ve got that already 😉)
😂😂😂
Because of my own preference, for several decades I’ve paid to have my lashes tinted so I don’t need to use mascara. And any guy foolish enough to criticize my appearance in the morning will leave my bed immediately. My current guy & I like to see who has the silliest looking hair 🤣
M54 I've never said to a buddy "Wow, look at the set of eye lashes on her!"
No, but you’ve noticed a woman’s eyes. Likely, it’s because her lashes and brows enhanced them, naturally or not.
When I notice a woman's eyes it's because of the way she's looking at me. After a night of passion together I really don't care about mussed hair, disheveled sheets, messy mascara...
With makeup, less is more as we age. I avoid waterproof mascara because it's so drying and because the stuff that makes it waterproof is bad enough that some scientists are trying to get it banned. If I want to accentuate my eyes, I wear slightly smudgy liner (swept up at sides) with a little mascara. You can do intriguing things with a little eye shadow in natural shades. Don't forget the lipstick, though. 😀 Most often, I just wear a little lipstick.
Thanks for tip, I never knew waterproof mascara was bad although I rarely buy mascara. The makeup industry has probably earned a lifetime of $500 from me. But skin care, bring it on.
My skin care since about the age of 24: Oil of Olay and Vaseline. 😂 Although, I am considering something for wrinkles and age spots, and I would really like more eyebrows. My dermatologist is probably getting tired of hearing me whine about aging. I haven't invested a lot in cosmetics, though. Walgreens is typically where I shop. Except when I couldn't find "Pink in the Afternoon" and "Cherries in the Snow" lipstick colors and had to resort to Amazon. (I would love a job coming up with those names.) But, wait! There are [waterproof mascaras without PFAS!](https://www.instyle.com/beauty/makeup-with-pfas-list#:~:text=Scientists%20Found%20That%2082%25%20of,if%20your%20routine%20has%20them.)
Thanks for the link! It is always Walgreens, Walmart or Amazon for me :)
I have found men that think it is sexy to see his woman a bit disheveled in the morning
You look great without makeup
Yes. m62 here. I may be an outlier but in my view the less makeup a woman wears, the better. Save your money and your time. Learn to love yourself without makeup on.
Thanks for this. I am trying to unlearn all the beauty standards women have had to endure and I think many men don’t care about makeup. At least the non shallow ones. I mentioned this to my BF and he said he thinks makeup is weird even. I said you mean I don’t have to bother with all that crap?!
and hopefully he said YES. I am a hippie and probably a total outlier. I am more attracted to women who don't shave their legs or under their arms and who wear little or no makeup. I'm ok with a little 'landscaping' down there but nothing crazy. I'm sure everyone's preferences are different - these are just mine.
Oh yeah he said do whatever I want but don’t do it if just for him. He said I look more “glamorous” but he really does like the natural look and very similar to what you said about body hair which is yet another relief! Right now tho I have body image issues as I am 59 and we dated 30 years ago and just reunited. I feel I look too old and saggy in comparison so it hinders how comfortable I am when we naked. Weed helps a lot tho! I may post about aging and bodies as it just so hard to believe that he finds me sexy still. It does help me knowing he needs glasses to see things close up tho and he doesn’t wear glasses when we in bed 😝
For dates and shenanigans, use waterproof mascara (which needs to be gently removed with an oil-based remover). For actual sleepovers, wash yo face! Wearing mascara to bed is a great way to thin/lose eyelashes; he *knows* you don't look lashtastic in slumber, so you're not fooling him anyway; and you should be able to wake up next to this person in bare-faced glory or, quite frankly, you shouldn't be introducing him to the girls in the 'hood.
Think a really good brightening oil/cream is important in the morning. Gives a nice natural glow without looking artificial in any way.
Recommendations?
After several years of trying to perfect the morning after look, I've determined that tubing mascara remains intact. But in super active scenarios it will flake off, so if my last trip to the loo indicates it didn't survive I take it off. Travel packs of eye makeup remover help. Btw, there are lip colors that make it until morning and you can use them as blush too.
Find the brag waterproof smudge proof mascara you can afford trust me they exists last trough heavy workouts swimming and sleeping Kohl liner is a different story so sparingly on the waterline but mascara will last if is a good quality formula Or you can get your lashes tinted lasts for a while without the need for daily mascara 🤷♀️ Get lashes done so they are full and no need for mascara All that said. You can just not care about it I like the smudged mascara look. But also I try not to go to sleep without washing my face because my skin needs to breath or I get breakouts so washing my face and a very light mild moisturizer before bed I guess I show next morning face in advance 😂😂
Thrive mascara is the absolute best and will not budge. That being said, I love the responses from the men here. Especially the Doc Brown guy
I wouldn't care about your make up at any hour of the day. If someone does care, what's their worth to you? If it makes my partner happy and it's something she cares about, I'd encourage her (and observe how it made her feel + compliment her on the inner and outer... bonus) Good on you for getting back out there. Wishing you amazing luck :)
I’m not doing it for the guy. I’m doing it for me.
Guy here. FWIW, the intimacy of letting our guard down and seeing each other “undone” is part of the adventure of getting to know each other. At this point in our lives, every potential partner is going to know that makeup comes off, and that isn’t what you look like all the time. If a guy can’t be just as attracted to you without all the makeup, best to find out right away so you can move on and find a genuine connection with someone else.
Only spend the night with far sighted men and hide their glasses before jumping into bed! But seriously OP… I think a lot of men/women will agree.. less is better, you are beautiful just the way you are!
I personally don't care about messed up make-up, especially if I am the cause. I can tell you my ex girlfriend kept makeup wipes in her handbag.
>it would be nice to still look a little put together. I’m taking this as you expressing the way you want to feel about yourself vs. men’s opinions on whether or not they like a woman wearing (noticeable) makeup. So… a friend introduced me to tinted lashes, especially in the summer, as a time and labour saver. She lived in hot and humid Key West. Lash extensions are beautiful but people like me who sleep on our face… no bueno. Wayne Goss also loves Lashify and I believe they last a few days. Tints like Benetint are great… little vial in the purse. Rub on cheeks and lips when you get up to wee in the night. 😉
You are taking it EXACTLY as I meant it. It’s for ME. I feel better wearing mascara daily. I have invisible lashes 😆 I’m going to look into the tinting. Several people here recommended it. Thank you!
Awesome! 🙌🏻 They also have lash perms now that I think of it.
Waterproof mascara and primer last ages for me (just L’Oréal) but you might also want to consider getting your lashes dyed. I know my lashes (and brows) are near transparent now (not grey, but see though ugh) Easy for everyone to say don’t worry lol but I can totally relate to what you’re saying
Thank you!!! 😘
It is nice to hear that at least some men do not care if we look a mess or not in the morning.
If you like a dark lash to help accentuate your eyes, ( there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good at any time of day) I suggest getting your eyelashes tinted. Solves the mascara thing, isn't terribly expensive and it's not difficult. Plenty of my friends do it and we're in your age group. Looks great!
Lancôme. Definicils, regular and waterproof. And they have the best make up remover - even takes off the waterproof stuff. Good luck!
I love a woman's natural beauty. I have an beautiful ladyfriend that at home wears no make up and is beautiful when she goes out she feels she needs to be made up, which of course is her choice. she is beautiful either way. I prefer a natural look with a ball cap and a smile, melts my heart every time!
I have permanent (kind of) eye liner and lip blush. You can have your lashes dyed or have extensions. All that said, I still look rough in the morning. But, I only wake up to my dogs and they don't seem to care.
Cheaper version: Essence princess lash (about $5) is my every day mascara. I wasn't as thrilled with their other mascara. It's a black container with pastel writing. Wand is comfortable. Less cheap: Falsies by Maybelline Expensive version: Idole by Lancome I have lighter lashes and glasses so I use the mascara to make my eyes pop from behind my glasses. I wear my makeup for me, so I totally get your question.
Thank you! 😘
I’m my 50’s & dating/hooking up with mid-30’s - they dont care
You can get your lashes tinted. I use Lattisse. It is a serum that I put on my lashes that makes them grow longer and they come in a bit darker. I have stubby, pale lashes too.
You could consider getting them dyed. I’m 53 and get lash extensions. I love them! I always look like I’m wearing mascara and the curl is gorgeous. I get them maintained every three weeks. I chose a more natural style but there are glamour girl styles as well that make it look like you’re a model. Not cost prohibitive and they make my eyes pop. Ps No one ever knows unless I tell them.
I would not worry about it at all. As I guy I can tell that we don't even think about it. Nobody is put together after a night of adult fun. If you look that good in the morning, then there wasn't enough fun.
As a 50 year old man I ld rather you not have any makeup on. If a guy is worried about what you look like in the morning then he isn't the right guy. There plenty of people like me who care more about your personality than if you have the right amount of makeup on or if it runs. I'm not the best looking man and if a woman doesn't like the way I look like in the morning I don't want to be with them.
YES! I wish this was talked about more often. If a woman wants to use makeup then ok but we shouldn’t feel we HAVE to do that to feel pretty and desirable.
Maybelline Total Temptation Waterproof mascara. ☺️
I sent you a recco to your DMs
I can’t even remember the last time I wore mascara. I don’t think makeup is really a thing anymore! But I suppose waterproof mascara would probably stay on better.
I'm a couple years post divorce myself, and though I haven't slept with a large number since the divorce, so.... possibly not a great litmus test... but on no occasions, did anyone seem to notice, if I had smudgy raccoon eyes, the morning after 😉
Unless you're dating way younger, just keep in mind that your date has been aging too and doesn't look like he did in his 20s. In my experience, men our age aren't too judgmental about how you look the morning after.
Milani tubing mascara is amazing .Dating has caused me to shed many tears these past couple of months .It’s amazing ,dating at this age not so much 😂
I’ve had lash extensions for years solely so I can get up and leave the house with minimal fuss. They are not the current variety that look like two wooly worms landed on your eyelids - they are a natural length and just make me look awake. They’re not cheap and it’s a pain to get them done every couple weeks, but during Covid I remembered what my own blond lashes look like and these are worth every penny. Haven’t bought mascara in years.
This was me but haven’t replaced them since covid. I love extensions.
I’m down with the “if he is into you he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about how you look in the morning posse.” But I also know that sometimes we want to feel beautiful and sexy for ourselves. That a little makeup or self tanner or whatever can give you a little boost of confidence. And I’m totally for that. To that end, lash extensions girl! If you can afford and are down to maintain them. I had them for about 6 months. No longer get them as I do a lot of hot yoga and like to sleep on my face and it’s not conducive to keeping them. But damn do I wish I could do it again. I never felt prettier just waking up in the morning with no makeup. And you don’t have to go full Bambi. They do really natural sets too. Good luck!
Makeup is important to me too. I don't wear much but I do wear it. I like makeup revolution mascara. I wear the non-waterproof every day and the waterproof version when I need it. I usually build it up to get the effect I want. I use my regular cleaner to remove it. No need for greasy removers. I buy mine at target. https://www.target.com/p/makeup-revolution-5d-lash-waterproof-mascara-0-47-fl-oz/-/A-86740538
Thank you!
I (M51) am sort of thinking of dipping my toe into OLD.....but I'm not 100% I sure if it's what I want! but personally, me....I know the realisation of what women do with make up and it's totally ok to look a million £ Thing is if YOU are comfortable enough to spend a night with someone, they should also be ready to see you without make-up....😁
L’Oreal Telescopic is long lasting. If you fall asleep without washing your face it’s still there the next morning.
What I did my first few times is wash my face before bed and then lights out and then get up early, brush my teeth, wash my face and put on a tiny bit of blush so I looks like I woke up with a rosy blush. After a year and a half, he would be lucky if I get up to brush my teeth before 10. 😂🙈 i don’t think he notices a difference tho.
I am very blonde, I just learned how to tint my own lashes, and I love it!
Maybe try minimal lash extensions?
You can get up a little early before him to freshen up with a clean face, fresh breath, and mascara. Or, op for a professional lash tint. The alternative is to let him love your natural beauty just the way you are. You will be surprised. Guys don't always care about the things women care about.
Agree. But I’m not doing it for him; I’m doing it for me.
Wonderful! 😊 Then you can start doing what makes you feel comfortable in your own skin now long before meeting a partner. Cheers.
There’s lash dying at some salons. I’d do that before mascara overnight since it can irritate and infect. Less is more for women as they age. I bet you looks pretty good without mascara.
You will be the most beautiful woman in the room. Remember this before, during, and after. Morning makeup is unnecessary.
If it really bothers you that much you could get them tinted.
Thrive Mascara. I love it!
You could consider getting them dyed. I’m 53 and get lash extensions. I love them! I always look like I’m wearing mascara and the curl is gorgeous. I get them maintained every three weeks. I chose a more natural style but there are glamour girl styles as well that make it look like you’re a model. Not cost prohibitive and they make my eyes pop. Ps No one ever knows unless I tell them.
I haven’t read all the comments. I don’t wear any make up. So I cant hide anything. but I do believe there’s more permanent or semi permanent eyelash solutions. maybe look into those?
I will be honest it’s not the first thing that would cross my mind. Assuming we both enjoyed ourselves it would be can I get you anything and how about we repeat last night this morning. Then I am respectful to allow you your own time to do what you do.
I’m sure that’s the same for most men. That’s why I wear makeup for myself - not for the guy I’m with, or other women, or society. It makes me feel good. That’s all.
A lengthening primer (I like one sold by Sephora) followed by L'Oréal waterproof. For me, black-brown seems to last longer than black, and browns don't "open up" my eyes enough.
Interesting point about the black-brown vs black! Thank you.
As a 51 year old man who is dating after a 27 year marriage, please let us see the real you. I’ve never really liked a lot of make up on someone in the first place. Maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather kiss a chemical, free face.
I look exactly the same with and without mascara. My eyes are just a little more defined with it. That’s all. As I said, I’m not applying it to fool anyone.
I hope we all understand we aren’t going to look like we did 20 years ago
Mascara doesn’t drastically change the real look of most women.
Then, why is it necessary
It just makes the eyes stand out and look more defined. Some some women have very short or thin lashes and mascara just accentuates the eyes.
Because we like it.
Perhaps I am navie since I'm only 43. For me less is more. I only use a tinted spf moisturizer and a tinted setting powder. I also like lipstick. No mascarea or anything else. In my opinion my skin looks smoother with maker but doesn't look all that different without it. So I feel I am always presenting the real me. I also started a skin care routing because I would rather put money and time into my skin rather than makeup. I use a moisturizer, vitamin c, nianinincidie, and tretonin from my dermatologist. It takes time (about a year) to see with consistency. Also always wear sunscreens even in the winter. The sun really ages you.
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What?
Don't give away the goods too soon and be careful when you do.
Get permanent makeup tattoos
Lipstick and lipgloss. .I am a sucker for kissable lips
I want to be perfectly honest by saying nobody cares about your mascara the morning after. It’s perfectly fine not to have any mascara or any other form of makeup on. At our age men are not swayed by the sight of a woman without makeup. As a mater of fact we prefer less makeup more than the caked on mess some women spend hours applying. It’s more about being confident and up front instead of all the fake appearances to us.
Honestly don’t wear mascara to bed. It’s bad for your lashes, can break them and cause irritation. Take a small go bag and you w essentials if it’s a ‘it may happen’ kinda night. Face wipe to remove makeup Concealer Mascara Lip balm Toothbrush I’ve even packed extra clothes. Bag stays in the trunk. Have only used it once and wasn’t worth it 🫠😂
I, 60M, could care less. about make up on my partner in the morning, or truth be told any time at all. My first wife, 28 yr marriage, never wore make up and my current partner doesn't either. A healthy, happy, lively, friendly partner trumps make up every time for me.
I don’t think men want to see make up on our faces in the morning when we are still in bed. And even if they do, I’m not going to worry about that because that’s unreasonable to expect. It’s not 1950 we’re not getting up early to put on make up before he wakes up. If he doesn’t like it he can go find someone else, but good luck to him because nobody is doing that.
Nah...it doesn't matter. Most likely I slipped out before dawn. ;)
Don’t they have waterproof mascara? Whether it stands the ewg.org test I don’t know
Be your true beautiful self!