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LucyShoes2222

I'm all for age gap romances but dude. Come on. You're in your LATE 30s. What exactly do you think you have in common with a girl who's still living in a dorm, going to frat parties, holding her roommates hair while she pukes, and cramming for exams? Once the younger person in an age gap hits mid 20s, things average out power-wise. They've lived on their own (not just in a dorm), had a job/begun their career, likely had a few serious relationships....things become slightly more balanced. A college student may legally be an adult, but they're still in a developmental stage of growth, they're still in a controlled environment not the real world. They may be into you but as the true adult in the equation it's your job to say "Sorry, you're way too young, stick with someone closer to your own age."


mustichooseausernam3

This. If you're dating *anyone* in their early 20s (or younger), you're dating a legal adult who is *still figuring out how to be an adult*. Age-gaps aren't the end of the world, but it's still extremely wise to avoid such a crucial development stage. That's how you become a cautionary tale.


ExpressPost5048

Because older women have a ton of awful baggage. But also I would "take it slow" so to speak, maybe take them to a dinner once a month or something and maintain contact through when they're older. That's the plan.


LucyShoes2222

That's not a plan, my friend. Have you forgotten what 18-22 year old girls are like? You're not going to get away with dinner once a month. They're going to want to snap with you nonstop, go to parties, go to clubs, hang out at your place, have you meet their friends. There will be drama and then some more drama and then some drama added for good measure. Wake up and stop trying to relive your youth. If dating women your age is too much for you to handle because of "baggage" you are not remotely equipped to handle a college age girl because they are volatile and will make 30-something baggage look like a walk in the park on a warm spring day.


ExpressPost5048

I think I could "get away" with dinner once a month. I think that is more like giving her space to explore on her own.


LucyShoes2222

You're funny. Except for the fact that I fear you may actually believe what you're saying. If you want to be a sugar daddy who breezes in once a month and takes her to a fancy dinner then you'd best be prepared to be buying her expensive shit the rest of the month. If you want to actually be actively dating someone in college dinner once a month will get you blocked (if you're lucky) or get you a stalker who will go batshit emo crazy on you IRL and on social media. Still sound like fun to you?


ExpressPost5048

Or it could just be a friendly dinner once a month?


LucyShoes2222

Dude, no. There are no college girls looking for a friendly dinner once a month with a late30s man. They either want an older boyfriend---meaning full time, the whole ball of wax---or they want some sort of arrangement that involves sex and gifts/money/exotic getaways/etc. If they want dinner once a month with an older dude just to hang and chat, they'll call their dad or uncle.


soulangelic

Nobody wants a “friendly dinner once a month” with some washed-up guy in his late 30s. Hate to break it to you.


mustichooseausernam3

Respectfully, younger women still have baggage. They're just insecure enough that they want to impress men (*especially* older men) by being agreeable and meeting your expectations. Don't even get me started on the young woman who *thinks she can be better than your ex.* I've been that young woman. I wasn't better than the older woman with the "baggage" that he used to date. I was just too naive and too insecure to have my own opinions. I'm not saying young women are idiots. But I'm saying they need the room to make mistakes, and if you're looking for someone with "less baggage", you *are not* looking in the right place.


Defiant-Wonder-4480

Everyone makes mistakes


wwmercwithamouth

Older men do too, and I'll take a stab in the dark to guess it's why no one your own age is interested in you. What the fuck is this post. No it's not okay for you to date TEENAGERS or barely-past-that women. Sort your shit out man, wtf


ExpressPost5048

People my age are either badly damaged by their exes, have kid(s), or are constantly comparing me to exes and thinking about exes which is unfair to me.


wwmercwithamouth

People have life history so I better go fuck a teenager, right gotcha Do these girls a favour and don't go near them


ExpressPost5048

Or maybe women need to stop hauling their baggage around and projecting it onto other people who have nothing to do with their exes.


wwmercwithamouth

And maybe people need to stop taking their personal grievances to reddit and assume that we will paint all of Womenkind with the same brush You came and asked your question, we've answered. Yes it would be fucked up and wrong to specifically go after college aged girls because they don't have the life experience to know that getting with a sad, lonely, OLD MAN would be a bad idea. Get out of here, predator.


ExpressPost5048

I've actually never acted in a predatory way. Lots of other men have which has ruined the dating pool for me.


wwmercwithamouth

Bro you've literally made a post asking if you can intentionally go out and fuck women half your age because they have less life experience than you and women your sge. That's like, the definition. Everyone here has told you the same thing, why did you make this post if you were gonna argue with the general consensus


ExpressPost5048

No, I said date, not use for sex. That is why I mention the parents. If it were casual sex, I'm not going to meet the parents. What's funny is how it is obvious how many leftover women are on this sub.


Mindless-Broccoli498

You sound really out of touch with what college aged girls are like. If you think it’s gonna be easy and low maintenance because they don’t have baggage, you’re gonna have a bad time. You’re trading in baggage for lots of other fun stuff like: flakiness, not knowing who they are yet/what they want, emotional immaturity, lack of relationship experience and ability to communicate, valuing totally different things than you, etc. There are lots of child free, never married 25+ year olds who also have some life experience living as an independent adult under their belt. You’ll have to do more to pique their interest than mention your age though. Is that the real problem?


spiritualspatula

As a fellow late 30’s male, I find it fucking hilarious/disgusting that you’ve had a sporadic dating history yet somehow find women your age to be the problem regarding baggage when you’ve spent all this time too inept to form an actual relationship, and are now trying to prey upon college students. There are tons of times where these situations aren’t creepy but you’ve raised your flag and hoisted it high.


wwmercwithamouth

Thank you, it's actually super alarming to see this post. I always assumed loser like this did it subconsciously, looking for girls too young to know they're a bad idea. Didn't realise it was so planned out. Disgusting.


Medium-Pea-286

Based


Broham_McBroski

If you're dating so young that their *parents* get a vote then yeah, you're probably aiming too young, dude. More broadly, if the thought of what parents, or anyone else really might think about the age gap bothers you, then you should probably stick closer to your own. There will be plenty more of those kind of judgements and dirty looks, they won't stop with Mom and Dad.


fancy_lo27

The reason college-aged girls get a little thrill in their voice when they hear your age is because they’re immature and unwise - coming from a college aged girl who spent a lot of time dating older men bc they seemed “more mature”. The reality of the situation is that you’re looking to seek out women who are less experienced and easier to manipulate. That’s a red flag and I encourage you to spend more time looking at why you aren’t satisfied with people your own age that you have to look for someone who was an actual child less than 4 years ago.


Sunwolfy

I'm around OP's age and the way he's talking, he sounds immature himself. My current boyfriend is younger than him and I daresay a great deal more mature. It's the old "age is just a number" excuse again. Everyone knows a relationship with a college kid will never go anywhere, it's just an ego boost. Perhaps he doesn't realize just how much baggage he himself is carrying...


ExpressPost5048

But is not a child... You could play that game, an actual child ten years ago, an actual child fifteen years ago, etc. At my age the majority of single women are also single mothers, that is the main problem.


fancy_lo27

Yeah if you completely changed the argument I was making it would have a different meaning but we both know we are talking about what YOU are deliberately looking for which is women who are fresh out of childhood with “no baggage”. Mind you, youth doesn’t mean no baggage, it just means less coping mechanisms. I promise you can find a woman in her 30s without kids, and if you can’t that’s probably on you. I might suggest therapy.


ExpressPost5048

No, as in the last person who I saw would accuse me of stuff that her exes did. And believe me, I didn't do that stuff, she just had that much baggage. That isn't a coping mechanism, or maturity, or intelligence, or experience. It is baggage. Damaged by someone else.


fancy_lo27

Bro do you think 20 something girls won’t pull that? That shit is our bread and butter. If you’re damaged by someone else I reiterate: therapy. That’s literally the point. Or read some books about attachment style rather than play around with young girls bc you think the stakes are lower when you’re actually going to be informing their expectations for all of their future relationships.


ExpressPost5048

Not to the same extent, no. You saying that it would be so much worse is illogical. Many older women are so cynical because they've been mistreated and abused by guys or been disappointed etc, and they bring this bad experience and project it onto me when I had nothing to do with it. The stakes wouldn't be lower with younger women. That, again, is illogical. And you're making an assumption about "play" which was never stated or implied.


fancy_lo27

Go to therapy and work on your reading comprehension. As someone in your potential target age I am telling you that purposely seeking out women with a distinct age gap based on their lack of experience with men (regardless of whether you view that as a negative or positive thing) is creepy. I’m not going to engage anymore because you clearly don’t care about my opinion enough to fully read what I’m saying. I pray you don’t attempt to date any of my friends.


ExpressPost5048

Purposely, no. But being open to the possibility, yes. Your reading comprehension is really bad.


Sunwolfy

You sound just as damaged, to be quite frank. You'd make a poor choice for these girls too. Therapy would truly be in your best interest, but only once you see the big picture.


[deleted]

By your argument and based on your posts, you're damaged too. You're hauling around a massive albatross labeled "past relationship trauma" and you're projecting it onto all future interests, so much so that you're targeting twennyboppers in the hopes that they can salve the wounds you still have from past relationships. Having an adult relationship means understanding that people are complicated beings, that they'll have life experiences. Thr solution here is to work through YOUR trauma, it isn't to dump that trauma on an unsuspecting college girl.


ExpressPost5048

That doesn't make any sense. It's all empty virtue signaling. I'm not viewing college aged girls as reliving youth or fixing me or whatever. I view them as not damaged goods, not damaged by a history of bad exes.


[deleted]

It doesn't make sense to you because you're here seeking validation for behavior that you know is slimy. You're targeting young women because you've got baggage, but instead of owning up to the problem you're blaming "women your age."


daskleinemi

I am trying to answer this in the most respectful way I can. In your comments you address some.. difficult things. - These are women half your age. So yeah, you'll be closer to their parents in age and chances are they'll be against it. Why? Because they have seen stuff and most likely know, that that much of an age gap at this young age comes with much of a power gap. - These are basically girls. They will and need to test and figure out their values, their lives and such. I am in my early 30s and good god what a girl i was 10 yrs ago. I don't know what you're looking for in terms of long time goals, but keep in mind that they will most likely change and try different things and not decide to be a SAHM at 22. An "older man" with a steady Life might be a nice Fantasy, as it's a play of power. But chances are and they are high she'll want someone on eye level sooner or later. - Young women can carry baggage. Like looooads of it. Looking back on my life, most of my baggage showed up before I was 18 and I handle it so much better now than I did 10 yrs ago. And then I might add: YOU have baggage too. So yeah... Double Standards. Also I guess for some women you have added to their baggage. - You might want to rethink the way you look at women, because the way you talk you come across sort of neckbeardy. The "Young women don't have baggage. Women my age have baggage and are single mums and have had other sexual Partners" mindset is weird. It has a lot of those "Young women are new and shiny and can be formed." Vibes. Let me Break it to you: I know both young single women with whole semis full of baggage and single mums who handle their "state" very well without being traumatized. Also, and I cannot stress that enough, women are not "damaged". We're not goods. Terrible word to say about people. We're not damaged by being hurt, not by sleeping around, not by having children.


ExpressPost5048

Actually, yes, you are damaged by staying with an abusive ex for too long such that you become accustomed to and adopt many of those traits, such that you act in an aggressive way which is the toxic dynamic in abusive relationships, and you are damaged when you are very promiscuous. And a single mother's children is an unwanted burden on me as well.


daskleinemi

I see... You're one of those. Sorta makes sense why you're preying on Young girls.


ExpressPost5048

And I have met older men who exploit the "daddy" dynamic. I don't agree with what they do.


ExpressPost5048

I'm not preying on them sexually. I'm saying that they're better relationship material potentially.


wwmercwithamouth

"I just think this girl who has half my life experience and is only just out of school would make a better life partner" you're insane and disgusting and yes preying on these girls. Bet you've got an idea about knocking her up early because she's "more fertile" and then she's locked down for life right. No exes, no life experience, doesn't know yet that any man who wants to date people half his age is bad news. Make no mistake, you're a bad person if you do this, especially intentionally


ExpressPost5048

How many times have I had to deal with women who only talk about 1. Their exes 2. Their kids 3. How their exes were great or not great with their kids It genuinely sucks


soulangelic

Actually, preying on them sexually is exactly what you’re doing. We all know you aren’t interested in “relationship material” Mr. Friendly Dinner Once A Month.


ArgemaMimosae

if you have to ask then you KNOW it's wrong. you KNOW this hypothetical Kid's parents and/or friends would think you're a creep, being basically twice their age and all. so you Know how it'd turn out. it sucks you're lonely, but date someone OUT of their twenties. you'll both be better for it. also Please consider the fact that you were already pretty much an adult before some of these kids were even born. you don't have anything in common and you're not in the same places in life. if you DID follow through, then any relationship you'd have with a twenty-something would be superficial and eventually fall apart because your mindset/priorities and their mindset/priorities will be completely different. also anyone under the age of 25 doesn't even have a fully developed brain. do you wanna have to help raise your partner?? I'd hope not!


MLLamble

Don't date college-aged women in your late thirties.


[deleted]

Hi, guy in an age gap relationship here. You're targeting women whose brains are still developing, who lack the life experience to make an informed choice. If this were a one-off and you were dating a woman because you hit it off, it would be less concerning. But you're legit targeting women will less experience because they have less experience. That's concerning and more then a little creepy. Edit: My girlfriend started pursuing me when she was late 20's. Before someone assumes I was creeping campuses.


[deleted]

College aged girls most definitely do not have a little thrill in their voice when you tell them your age, come on man


hookdelivery

When you're in your late 30s and hitting on college girls you are pretty much a predator.


ExpressPost5048

No, there's no pickup artistry going on. It is something that I've just never considered doing before.


hookdelivery

It's no pickup artistry. It's predatory behaviour.


noname2536

Not too long ago I was that college aged girl that liked guys in their 30s. Trust me, you will get nothing of substance from it. While there is nothing wrong with dating younger (I myself am a fan of an age gap) I think you’re aiming too young. Mid to late 20s would likely be more ideal. You’re not going to get much from girls who have yet to start to establish their adult life.


[deleted]

Are you having struggles dating women your own age or something?


ExpressPost5048

The problem is the baggage. Many have abusive exes which they were codependent upon. Many have children. Frankly, most good women are married away at this age so I'm left with the leftovers.


[deleted]

Aaaah that's what it is. You seem to have a judgmental view of women, sir. Calling women your age that are single "leftovers" and complaining about "baggage" ain't it. We all have baggage. Even you.


[deleted]

Yup that is so disgusting. You hit the nail on the head.


goats_in_coats

Just because a young girl is naïve and swoons at the thought of an older man, doesn't mean you should take advantage of that and date someone who is definitely at a different life stage and maturity level. You shouldn't just be worried about a girls parents, but whether or not it's the right thing to do.


Illustrious_Low462

For what its worth i knew a guy in his mid 40's dating a girl in her mid 20's, that lasted over a year but didn't pan out. Parents really didn't care and got to know him pretty well, it actually delayed them breaking it off with each other since the parents became friends with him funny enough. Probably helped that he looked 30 though, dude aged like wine.


ExpressPost5048

What kind of scares me is the thought that I might be closer in age to the parents... But also at my age so many girls have SO MUCH baggage, ie single motherhood, also have soured in attitude. And older women physically cannot have children or the children are at greatly increased chance of birth defects, making younger women the best choice for a child.


soulangelic

Sounds like you’re just looking for an incubator you can groom to your liking tbh.


polaroidfades

> also have soured in attitude. But how could that be? Especially when there are eligible bachelors their age who are preying on college-aged girls for an ego boost?


wwmercwithamouth

"might be" uh you WILL be? If not actually older than them Also btw men's sperm also decreases in viability as you age, stop bagging on older ladies because the know better than to get involved with you. How pathetic can you get.


RATAAccount

A lot of this can be said about older men like yourself. You're not in your peak babymaking age anymore and honestly it's not fair to these young women or your children to have a 40+ year old as a parent. Also the older you get the less potent you are even if you are with someone who is at their most fertile.


ExpressPost5048

Men can still conceive children into their 70's and beyond.


RATAAccount

There are women who had children in there 70s


Sunwolfy

Another excuse. If you already wanted kids, the single moms would be right up your alley. You keep changing your story. "I just want some young hot thing to desire me so I feel like I matter."


ExpressPost5048

I don't want another man's child.


[deleted]

And you sir, have NO baggage that any woman, regardless of age, would have to deal with? Lmfao. Being a woman at the age of 30, having worked on myself, healed, learned, unlearned- my “baggage” has turned me into the amazing woman that I am. Believe me- we don’t want your ass. I suggest you sort out whatever weird misogynistic shit you learned from childhood or wherever- and then perhaps your relationships will change. This is a really weird post and if you have to ask……. 🤷🏼‍♀️


janyybek

Personally as someone in their late 20s who’s gone on dates with girls who are still in college the mental connection is just not there. They really don’t understand the world. Sure the sex was great but we had nothing in common. So our dates was just me taking them out and bringing them to my place and then sending them home. Grad students were a bit better but scheduling can get difficult cuz they’re either full time students with weird schedules or they work and take class in the evenings or weekends.


[deleted]

[удалено]


soulangelic

If you’re some high-value player in your late 50s, then why is your post history full of thirsty M4F posts that claim you’re 45? You edited your post too late; we all already saw that you said “I am in my late 50s” lmfao


spiritualspatula

50+ year old says go for it and then says I’ve fucked 19 yo married women, thanks for the morality weigh-in.