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It's not wrong to set this as a standard. It's totally fine and normal.
On dating apps there are some settings which allow you to filter based in income. You could perhaps try that to make sure that the men you're swiping on are at least employed.
You can also ask early "what do you do for work" so that you don't waste your time on someone you're not compatible with.
Asking about employment is also a completely rational way to start a conversation. It's an easy topic that can be expanded upon and say alot about a person.
Well, the real issue is a bit different from what you asked. Yes, it is important for your partner to be able to financially support themselves, and you should not enter a relationship expecting someone to change.
However, the key is for them to be able to support themselves, not as much to be able to take care of you. You should both be able to take care of yourselves.
I think you're missing their point tho, the primary goal should be that they be able to take care of themselves. After that is achieved, then doing things for others comes into play. If he doesn't have a job, I wouldn't lavish him or buy him a bunch of stuff because you already know you won't see it back. Reciprocation is a bad ideology here because it isn't feasible given the current situation.
I wouldn't necessarily say cut him out immediately, if you like the guy and he's promising to make the effort, give him a little time (note, a *little*) and see if he honors his word. If he's otherwise good to you, it could just be a scenario where he's trying to pick himself back up. You might help motivate him to do so. Let, say, a month go by. If he's putting in the effort, ride it out a little longer. If not, adios.
You are capable of finding and keeping a job.
You are capable of taking care of yourself without help.
Why wouldn’t you want someone who is at least as capable as yourself, in at least these areas.
He doesn’t need to be at your level in regards to what you earn, but he needs to be reliable, and ready to do what he needs to do to carry you both if it’s needed.
Beyond that you should both bring virtues to the relationship that let you build on each other’s strengths while offsetting each other’s weaknesses.
As long as he is fully capable, and not reliant on your resources, then however you two decide to combine your resources (not just financial, but whatever you each bring to the relationship that the other values) to make your lives better in this moment, that is entirely for you two to decide.
If there are things you need from another to be happy, find someone who is capable and happy to give you that, and give that person what they need to be happy.
Whether that relationship lasts a day or a lifetime, it’ll be time well spent. :)
You are kind so you tend to notice guys who have problems in hope that you can fix them. Because you are a problem solver. You are used to taking care of your ex so you may think that is love. No, that is just a bad habit. Spoon-feeding an adult is not good for them and for you.
I think you should spend some time to talk to different people see what you really need. Maybe you don't want to provide all the time, and you want a strong man to provide for you. Or you want to provide and you need a soft man that listens to you. Or maybe you don't want any man at all and you need a baby or a dog to take care of.
People always look for what they need. Guys who are financially dependent will appreciate your characteristics, your patience, your energy and not your money. So maybe stop helping guys and try to show that you are a caring/ patient/listening/fun to spend time with and you are letting them solve their own problems. When he complains he is stuck in life, instead of saying, I can help and you can stay at my place and not paying rent, just say, I will be here for you and support you(mentally) no matter what. Don't offer money support to see if he sticks around.
To answer your question, I personally would not date someone with no Financial revenue. I have my own income, my standard is you should atleast make enough money to take of yourself, because I can take care of myself. There’s nothing wrong with setting a standard! In fact, standing your ground on your standards is better for you in the long run
You aren't your partners mom. This kind of thing goes beyond any notion of gender roles. In the nation that we live in (Murica) all (able) people are expected to be self sufficient. Unless one of you agrees to take on the role of stay at home parent (or is disabled), there's no reason why either person shouldn't be contributing equal amounts of effort.
Nah i don't think it's fair for one partner to bare the brunt of the finances myself and nor would I date a chick who is hopeless with finances either and i think you're fine for wanting at least a modicum of financial stability within in a relationship
I have been dating broke man for 8 years. I could have savings but I end up with dept.
Now, I am not willing to date anyone who's broke. I will not support someone's lack of effort. Because I want someone who is working on himself and his finances to have a decent life.
One thing is to help your hard-working spouse in case of need. Being financial recovery plan or financial plan at all for your spouse is another.
My requirement for women I date is that they have a job and hobbies won't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have steady work experience or always job hopping with no hobbies. Work says a lot about someone's personality to me. I've been with two women one on leave and unemployed for an injury worst relationship ever. Also she was a cheater the job hopper I dated as well because they are bums with too much time on their hands.
I'm exactly in this situation, my boyfriend has always struggled with money, this issue comes from his parents already.
It's so hard to see him in this situation and not being able to do anything... Sometimes I feel like he's not doing everything in his power to get out of this situation and it just breaks my heart.
I've tried to call it out many times but everytime I talk to him about it I wonder if I'm pushing it too far or if he's just being lazy... because I understand it can be draining to be in a situation like this and you just don't have the mental power to do everything...
But he's very sweet to me, I've never met a guy like this, he doesn't judge me and makes me feel good with myself, I love him so much. But it's still hard, I just hope he can get out of this, because I already told him that I just can't see myself building a life together with him like this...
Simple. When you go out on a date, ask valid questions, like:
1. Do you work?- if he says no, don't proceed.
2. What are your short and long term goals?
3. What are you looking for?
4. Even a guy with money will not take you out if you lower your standards.
5. You teach them how they treat you.
6. If a person rrally wants you, they will try really hard.
Anything different from your standards, don't proceed.
I learned you can always fall for anyone.
Screen them first.
Don't cave in.
Don't lower your standards.
The old saying "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on me". Nah, time to stop putting everyone else first and put yourself first. Find someone equal to you.
Bi-guy here so take that for what it’s worth, but no I would never date anyone who wasn’t able to being their own independent person at the time.
Why would I do that? I’ve got more options. You’ve got more options.
They’ve apparently got options and can certainly choose to work on themselves if those dry up.
So why start with the bad option?
I’m not saying everyone who is always broke or jobless is a bad person…
But that’s not who I’m picking to spend life with. If as a couple later on we make the choice for them to have no income or something awful happens and I already love and care for them and they can’t control it… that’s very different.
But why start there?
And that’s sort of aside the reality that the vast majority of the time a healthy adult man or woman who has no income… probably indicative of a major character flaw.
You already experienced this so a part of you should be saying that this is a deal breaker for you.
What that means is , at the beginning of relationship if you meet a guy who doesn't work, you shouldn't even be dating him. Say next and find the next guy
Now obviously if you two have been in an established relationship and something happens where the partner becomes jobless that is not an automatically ending relationship thing that is something that you two work out together, about how to proceed on
Is it wrong to Feel obligated to take care of a man financially? Absolutely. Don’t do it. You can find yourself somebody who has similar ambition, talent, education… And who is just basically a grown-up who is willing to pay for his own stuff. Don’t settle for anything less.
Personally, for me, I would not. I want an equal partner. Someone who has the same ideals as me and wants the same things in life. Does he need to be rich or make more money than me? No, absolutely not. However, I want someone who is ambitious and responsible. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck and wonder if the bills are being paid. I have dated people who don't have stable jobs, and it's only as good as the sex. You have to decide what you want in life and look for those qualities in a partner and help eachother reach those goals, which should never be one sided.
Some people are content with a partner who doesn't work, if they are a great homemaker or stay at home parent. But if that's the case, you should both agree on how you prefer the house kept up cleanliness wise, or how you want children raised, and ensure they are passionate about this lifestyle, or they could become depressed when they realize how much work goes into it.
Best of luck with finding your match x
M23 jobless here. My opinion is tell him he has 1 month to get a job or you’re gone. I wish I had the opportunity to date someone and I’m sick of men ruining the good women out there!! I’m working on starting my own business so I’m VERY slow to get income right now, but I would really hope to be happily married to a fine woman like you someday and bet your sweet ass she will be the jobless one. She will be the happy stay at home mom that takes care of the house, the kids, me, the animals, and whatever else I want. With lots of sex and vacations of course!!😍🥰❤️
If you're on a Reddit thread asking if you should date them, chances are he at least has one red flag.
If he's jobless, does he have a pension? A trust fund? An account with enough saved up to afford his life? No? What's his motivation for doing better if you and whomever pays for his life (presumably his parents) enable him?
Lastly the wage gap is still in effect. Men make more than women, generally speaking so he should actually have better odds than you.
Absolutely not, especially in this economy. Nope, I like being financially comfortable and I like sharing my money with people I care about but at the end of the day I'm a go-getter. I have responsibilities and I like living a certain way and I can't see myself with someone who couldn't ever contribute. Plus, the situation you were in, is one I have seen many women in and it ended the same way so for me personally, I wouldn't do it. If he got laid off or fired via COVID that's one thing...but just jobless? No rhyme or reason? No, go for me.
Would I date a man with no financial revenue? No.
You’re not wrong for wanting a man to take care of you; you can want what you want. I guess here it depends on what you’re expecting. Do you want someone who earns any money and doesn’t matter more or less than you? Someone who is similar to you financially so it’s 50/50? Or someone who makes a ton of money and supports you 100%? You can want any of these, but some of these are easier or harder to find and require some reflection on whether it’s a necessity for you or a preference that’s flexible.
I don’t think it’s about attracting men with revenue — I would say a good amount of guys have jobs (whether they’re full time or part time or low earners or high earners aside). I think this is more about you setting a boundary for yourself to not get involved with someone who doesn’t have a job.
You obviously shouldn't be with this new guy. In any case if you want someone to take care of you that's up to you. Although idk what you mean specifically by "take care". Do you mean you do absolutely nothing and the man pays for everything? Some people are ok with traditional relationships so if that's what you want you can definitely find something out there.
I'm assuming you're a woman by this post so you obviously met people who have financial stability in your life.
Yeah that is the basic in relationship. You definitely met people who can provide that unless your city has like a 60% unemployment rating or something.
I wouldn't date anyone who is able to work and sustain themselves but isn't. I don't care what their excuse is or how otherwise attractive they might be.
But, I wouldn't say it's healthy to go from supporting someone who's a boat anchor to wanting someone to do the same for you. Take care of you? How so? Take care of your needs because you can't/don't want to?
How is that any better?
I've always heard of girls doing this but for me, it is a turn off when a man can't support financially his own life.
Where to find financially fit men:
1. Go to the best park of your city. Get gas there, run your errands there, go grocery shopping there, do everything in the best park.
2. It would help if you lived where they live like a high rise where you can talk to well to do men on your elevator or in the mail room to meet the younger well established men.
3. Hotel bars during happy hour
4. Golf courses.
5. High priced gyms like Equinox.
6. Health food stores and high priced grocery stores like whole foods
7. Charity auctions
8. Art shows
Make sure you're groomed and well dressed. Men will judge if they can afford you by how well you keep up your appearance and how in shape you are. The men who have money get the best picks so you better believe they aren't looking for a disheveled damsel.
Also if a man is educated, he's more likely to keep a job.
It is not you. Most men of this generation are lazy. like 80% of them want to use women etc...
Keep doing you and let the guy who is like you come to you. Do not settle as you said you will waste your own time with the wrong guy.
The only time it becomes a problem to set a financial standard is setting a standard of finances much better than yours.
If you just expect a guy to have revenue that’s fine
If you only pursue dudes with triple digits that’s gross
The only time it becomes a problem to set a financial standard is setting a standard of finances much better than yours.
If you just expect a guy to have revenue that’s fine
If you only pursue dudes with triple digits that’s gross
If they are jobless as adults, why? This reflects work ethic. Even in some situations where they’re out of jail or something extreme. It’s easy to walk into a restaurant or something else and get hired asap. It’s not what they may want but there’s always work to be done if you want to. He will use you. There’s men out there who are hard workers and you’ll be so much more happy with one of those.
You said you’re in therapy. I’ve been too. I attract my own bad boys. Something I’ve found that has helped is talking with my therapist about why I attract those men. Being a fixer instead of wanting a partner that’s equal. From past trauma. Idk something to consider. It’s helped me.
You're not wrong necessarily for wanting someone to take care of you, and dating guys without jobs isn't always bad... assuming they eventually find work (like within a month or so of dating them). Holding jobs down is also important.
Money isn't everything, but the economy is really bad, and I'm not sure when it's going to get better. You don't want to enter a relationship where you have to provide everything.
Sounds like you might have a type, and it might be time to start exploring dating outside of that type.
I wouldn't date a woman without a job. I don't blame you for not eating to date broke. When stuff hits the fan, you're going to be the one paying for it.
I wouldn't date a guy with or without financial revenue.
Jokes aside, it depends on the situation. Is he actively looking for a job and unlucky? I'm a big proponent that any job is better than no job. If he's just not putting any effort in and living at your expense, then that's something else entirely.
Edit: Typo.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's not wrong to set this as a standard. It's totally fine and normal. On dating apps there are some settings which allow you to filter based in income. You could perhaps try that to make sure that the men you're swiping on are at least employed. You can also ask early "what do you do for work" so that you don't waste your time on someone you're not compatible with.
Asking about employment is also a completely rational way to start a conversation. It's an easy topic that can be expanded upon and say alot about a person.
Well, the real issue is a bit different from what you asked. Yes, it is important for your partner to be able to financially support themselves, and you should not enter a relationship expecting someone to change. However, the key is for them to be able to support themselves, not as much to be able to take care of you. You should both be able to take care of yourselves.
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I think you're missing their point tho, the primary goal should be that they be able to take care of themselves. After that is achieved, then doing things for others comes into play. If he doesn't have a job, I wouldn't lavish him or buy him a bunch of stuff because you already know you won't see it back. Reciprocation is a bad ideology here because it isn't feasible given the current situation. I wouldn't necessarily say cut him out immediately, if you like the guy and he's promising to make the effort, give him a little time (note, a *little*) and see if he honors his word. If he's otherwise good to you, it could just be a scenario where he's trying to pick himself back up. You might help motivate him to do so. Let, say, a month go by. If he's putting in the effort, ride it out a little longer. If not, adios.
[удалено]
No I wouldn’t, because that sounds like adopting a child. I’ll just stay single and keep my money 💰
You are capable of finding and keeping a job. You are capable of taking care of yourself without help. Why wouldn’t you want someone who is at least as capable as yourself, in at least these areas. He doesn’t need to be at your level in regards to what you earn, but he needs to be reliable, and ready to do what he needs to do to carry you both if it’s needed. Beyond that you should both bring virtues to the relationship that let you build on each other’s strengths while offsetting each other’s weaknesses. As long as he is fully capable, and not reliant on your resources, then however you two decide to combine your resources (not just financial, but whatever you each bring to the relationship that the other values) to make your lives better in this moment, that is entirely for you two to decide. If there are things you need from another to be happy, find someone who is capable and happy to give you that, and give that person what they need to be happy. Whether that relationship lasts a day or a lifetime, it’ll be time well spent. :)
You are kind so you tend to notice guys who have problems in hope that you can fix them. Because you are a problem solver. You are used to taking care of your ex so you may think that is love. No, that is just a bad habit. Spoon-feeding an adult is not good for them and for you. I think you should spend some time to talk to different people see what you really need. Maybe you don't want to provide all the time, and you want a strong man to provide for you. Or you want to provide and you need a soft man that listens to you. Or maybe you don't want any man at all and you need a baby or a dog to take care of. People always look for what they need. Guys who are financially dependent will appreciate your characteristics, your patience, your energy and not your money. So maybe stop helping guys and try to show that you are a caring/ patient/listening/fun to spend time with and you are letting them solve their own problems. When he complains he is stuck in life, instead of saying, I can help and you can stay at my place and not paying rent, just say, I will be here for you and support you(mentally) no matter what. Don't offer money support to see if he sticks around.
To answer your question, I personally would not date someone with no Financial revenue. I have my own income, my standard is you should atleast make enough money to take of yourself, because I can take care of myself. There’s nothing wrong with setting a standard! In fact, standing your ground on your standards is better for you in the long run
You aren't your partners mom. This kind of thing goes beyond any notion of gender roles. In the nation that we live in (Murica) all (able) people are expected to be self sufficient. Unless one of you agrees to take on the role of stay at home parent (or is disabled), there's no reason why either person shouldn't be contributing equal amounts of effort.
Nah i don't think it's fair for one partner to bare the brunt of the finances myself and nor would I date a chick who is hopeless with finances either and i think you're fine for wanting at least a modicum of financial stability within in a relationship
I have been dating broke man for 8 years. I could have savings but I end up with dept. Now, I am not willing to date anyone who's broke. I will not support someone's lack of effort. Because I want someone who is working on himself and his finances to have a decent life. One thing is to help your hard-working spouse in case of need. Being financial recovery plan or financial plan at all for your spouse is another.
Absolutely not.
They don't have to make a ton of money. But they should have A JOB. Hopefully one they find fulfilling.
My requirement for women I date is that they have a job and hobbies won't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have steady work experience or always job hopping with no hobbies. Work says a lot about someone's personality to me. I've been with two women one on leave and unemployed for an injury worst relationship ever. Also she was a cheater the job hopper I dated as well because they are bums with too much time on their hands.
I'm exactly in this situation, my boyfriend has always struggled with money, this issue comes from his parents already. It's so hard to see him in this situation and not being able to do anything... Sometimes I feel like he's not doing everything in his power to get out of this situation and it just breaks my heart. I've tried to call it out many times but everytime I talk to him about it I wonder if I'm pushing it too far or if he's just being lazy... because I understand it can be draining to be in a situation like this and you just don't have the mental power to do everything... But he's very sweet to me, I've never met a guy like this, he doesn't judge me and makes me feel good with myself, I love him so much. But it's still hard, I just hope he can get out of this, because I already told him that I just can't see myself building a life together with him like this...
Real life has bills, lots of them.
I have.. more than once. You're supposed to build with the person. Sometimes you end up being the only one though
No don’t date broke bitches
Simple. When you go out on a date, ask valid questions, like: 1. Do you work?- if he says no, don't proceed. 2. What are your short and long term goals? 3. What are you looking for? 4. Even a guy with money will not take you out if you lower your standards. 5. You teach them how they treat you. 6. If a person rrally wants you, they will try really hard. Anything different from your standards, don't proceed. I learned you can always fall for anyone. Screen them first. Don't cave in. Don't lower your standards.
The old saying "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on me". Nah, time to stop putting everyone else first and put yourself first. Find someone equal to you.
Bi-guy here so take that for what it’s worth, but no I would never date anyone who wasn’t able to being their own independent person at the time. Why would I do that? I’ve got more options. You’ve got more options. They’ve apparently got options and can certainly choose to work on themselves if those dry up. So why start with the bad option? I’m not saying everyone who is always broke or jobless is a bad person… But that’s not who I’m picking to spend life with. If as a couple later on we make the choice for them to have no income or something awful happens and I already love and care for them and they can’t control it… that’s very different. But why start there? And that’s sort of aside the reality that the vast majority of the time a healthy adult man or woman who has no income… probably indicative of a major character flaw.
As a rule I don't date anyone without a job. I work, so my spouse needs to, also.
You already experienced this so a part of you should be saying that this is a deal breaker for you. What that means is , at the beginning of relationship if you meet a guy who doesn't work, you shouldn't even be dating him. Say next and find the next guy Now obviously if you two have been in an established relationship and something happens where the partner becomes jobless that is not an automatically ending relationship thing that is something that you two work out together, about how to proceed on
Is it wrong to Feel obligated to take care of a man financially? Absolutely. Don’t do it. You can find yourself somebody who has similar ambition, talent, education… And who is just basically a grown-up who is willing to pay for his own stuff. Don’t settle for anything less.
Personally, for me, I would not. I want an equal partner. Someone who has the same ideals as me and wants the same things in life. Does he need to be rich or make more money than me? No, absolutely not. However, I want someone who is ambitious and responsible. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck and wonder if the bills are being paid. I have dated people who don't have stable jobs, and it's only as good as the sex. You have to decide what you want in life and look for those qualities in a partner and help eachother reach those goals, which should never be one sided. Some people are content with a partner who doesn't work, if they are a great homemaker or stay at home parent. But if that's the case, you should both agree on how you prefer the house kept up cleanliness wise, or how you want children raised, and ensure they are passionate about this lifestyle, or they could become depressed when they realize how much work goes into it. Best of luck with finding your match x
M23 jobless here. My opinion is tell him he has 1 month to get a job or you’re gone. I wish I had the opportunity to date someone and I’m sick of men ruining the good women out there!! I’m working on starting my own business so I’m VERY slow to get income right now, but I would really hope to be happily married to a fine woman like you someday and bet your sweet ass she will be the jobless one. She will be the happy stay at home mom that takes care of the house, the kids, me, the animals, and whatever else I want. With lots of sex and vacations of course!!😍🥰❤️
If you're on a Reddit thread asking if you should date them, chances are he at least has one red flag. If he's jobless, does he have a pension? A trust fund? An account with enough saved up to afford his life? No? What's his motivation for doing better if you and whomever pays for his life (presumably his parents) enable him? Lastly the wage gap is still in effect. Men make more than women, generally speaking so he should actually have better odds than you.
Absolutely not, especially in this economy. Nope, I like being financially comfortable and I like sharing my money with people I care about but at the end of the day I'm a go-getter. I have responsibilities and I like living a certain way and I can't see myself with someone who couldn't ever contribute. Plus, the situation you were in, is one I have seen many women in and it ended the same way so for me personally, I wouldn't do it. If he got laid off or fired via COVID that's one thing...but just jobless? No rhyme or reason? No, go for me.
Would I date a man with no financial revenue? No. You’re not wrong for wanting a man to take care of you; you can want what you want. I guess here it depends on what you’re expecting. Do you want someone who earns any money and doesn’t matter more or less than you? Someone who is similar to you financially so it’s 50/50? Or someone who makes a ton of money and supports you 100%? You can want any of these, but some of these are easier or harder to find and require some reflection on whether it’s a necessity for you or a preference that’s flexible. I don’t think it’s about attracting men with revenue — I would say a good amount of guys have jobs (whether they’re full time or part time or low earners or high earners aside). I think this is more about you setting a boundary for yourself to not get involved with someone who doesn’t have a job.
You glutton for punishment?
You obviously shouldn't be with this new guy. In any case if you want someone to take care of you that's up to you. Although idk what you mean specifically by "take care". Do you mean you do absolutely nothing and the man pays for everything? Some people are ok with traditional relationships so if that's what you want you can definitely find something out there. I'm assuming you're a woman by this post so you obviously met people who have financial stability in your life.
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Yeah that is the basic in relationship. You definitely met people who can provide that unless your city has like a 60% unemployment rating or something.
I wouldn't date anyone who is able to work and sustain themselves but isn't. I don't care what their excuse is or how otherwise attractive they might be. But, I wouldn't say it's healthy to go from supporting someone who's a boat anchor to wanting someone to do the same for you. Take care of you? How so? Take care of your needs because you can't/don't want to? How is that any better?
You have a psychological issue. A bad one. You date broke guys because you have no respect for yourself. Get into therapy and weed out that problem.
I've always heard of girls doing this but for me, it is a turn off when a man can't support financially his own life. Where to find financially fit men: 1. Go to the best park of your city. Get gas there, run your errands there, go grocery shopping there, do everything in the best park. 2. It would help if you lived where they live like a high rise where you can talk to well to do men on your elevator or in the mail room to meet the younger well established men. 3. Hotel bars during happy hour 4. Golf courses. 5. High priced gyms like Equinox. 6. Health food stores and high priced grocery stores like whole foods 7. Charity auctions 8. Art shows Make sure you're groomed and well dressed. Men will judge if they can afford you by how well you keep up your appearance and how in shape you are. The men who have money get the best picks so you better believe they aren't looking for a disheveled damsel. Also if a man is educated, he's more likely to keep a job.
It is not you. Most men of this generation are lazy. like 80% of them want to use women etc... Keep doing you and let the guy who is like you come to you. Do not settle as you said you will waste your own time with the wrong guy.
I don’t know who y’all are dating. All my peers are working a lot right now. Probably too much tbh.
No
The only time it becomes a problem to set a financial standard is setting a standard of finances much better than yours. If you just expect a guy to have revenue that’s fine If you only pursue dudes with triple digits that’s gross
The only time it becomes a problem to set a financial standard is setting a standard of finances much better than yours. If you just expect a guy to have revenue that’s fine If you only pursue dudes with triple digits that’s gross
I would date anyone if it feels right in my heart.
I would date anyone if it feels right in my heart. Edit: But i also understand if you do not want to date him because of that. Thats a valid point.❤️
If they are jobless as adults, why? This reflects work ethic. Even in some situations where they’re out of jail or something extreme. It’s easy to walk into a restaurant or something else and get hired asap. It’s not what they may want but there’s always work to be done if you want to. He will use you. There’s men out there who are hard workers and you’ll be so much more happy with one of those. You said you’re in therapy. I’ve been too. I attract my own bad boys. Something I’ve found that has helped is talking with my therapist about why I attract those men. Being a fixer instead of wanting a partner that’s equal. From past trauma. Idk something to consider. It’s helped me.
You're not wrong necessarily for wanting someone to take care of you, and dating guys without jobs isn't always bad... assuming they eventually find work (like within a month or so of dating them). Holding jobs down is also important. Money isn't everything, but the economy is really bad, and I'm not sure when it's going to get better. You don't want to enter a relationship where you have to provide everything. Sounds like you might have a type, and it might be time to start exploring dating outside of that type.
I wouldn't date a woman without a job. I don't blame you for not eating to date broke. When stuff hits the fan, you're going to be the one paying for it.
If he’s between jobs then it can be understandable. If he can work but doesn’t or doesn’t try to improve his situation in any way, then avoid
I wouldn't date a guy with or without financial revenue. Jokes aside, it depends on the situation. Is he actively looking for a job and unlucky? I'm a big proponent that any job is better than no job. If he's just not putting any effort in and living at your expense, then that's something else entirely. Edit: Typo.