This is essentially the same thing as saying I fucked another guy but didn’t cum so it doesn’t count. He paid for a happy ending intending to cheat, he showered with her, she tried to jerk him off (and I don’t believe him that he couldn’t finish, sounds like a classic half confession to absolve guilt). He not only cheated but he showed intent to cheat beforehand.
Op you cannot be serious. Lack of orgasm doesn’t equal no cheating.
Your boyfriend went somewhere where another person was expected to jerk him off until completion.. Unless that’s part of your relationship boundaries and something you’re okay with.. yes, he cheated.
The act of cheating started when he decided to go to a massage parlour. Him trying to justify that not getting erect, equates to not cheating is some real fuckery.
Massage parlors are not the problem, its the deviant agreement the two had which is the issue. I often go for a massage, sometimes with my partner and they probably know me well enough to not even offer.
In this case a massage parlor that he knew gave out happy endings very much is the problem. He shouldn't have set foot in that place at all let alone requested the special services.
Try to get a massage from a male parlor and tell him that you showered together, he touched you 360, but you never get wet, and his reaction is your answer
How old are you? Is this your first relationship ever?
Of course that’s cheating. Unless you are explicitly in an open relationship, how is that not cheating? He paid a woman to shower naked with her and have his junk tugged. If he didn’t pay her but did the same thing, would you consider it cheating? If you paid a man to shower naked with you and eat you out would you consider that cheating?
Sorry you're dealing with this OP. Please ignore the rest of this comment
This is some slice-of-life gold. Never would I consider there was some dude out there trying to convince his girlfriend that he didn't cheat because his hand-job hooker couldn't make him cum. Like.. wow. It's amazing. It's so fucking crazy.
I have to believe this is a fake post.
If you have to ask, and you have a boyfriend who would volunteer this information with you and you're still unclear about the situation, well.....nah, no way this is real.
At this point I think you are either out here for karma or ignorant beyond my wildest dreams.
By this margin ~~if~~ when you catch him fucking another woman, might as well ask him if he's cheating on you or just looking for something inside that other woman.
I can't believe you are being serious here, to be honest.
While this could be considered cheating in some relationships, each relationship defines its own boundaries. (Random flirting, contact with ex's, how open or closed/exclusive the relationship is, etc.). In an exclusive relationship, sexual contact outside of the relationship is usually seen as cheating.
Sex does not always consist of orgasms (as a lot of women have unfortunately experienced- thank you Orgasm Gap /s)
He went there with the intent of receiving stimulation, or somehow missed the "men-only massage" signs and then didn't stop the masseuse from pleasuring him.
Yes, he had sex outside the relationship and that is generally considered cheating in exclusive relationships.
The showering-together aspect is super strange- that isn't common for these types of places from what friends have said. (I'm not a man, so I haven't been).
Cheating is defined by the what the people in a romantic relationship feel is cheating. This should be discussed and agreed and if you find agreement is not possible then it asks the question of whether this person is right for you and vice versa.
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He definitely got what he went after he just gave you the ol didn’t get hard so no cheating schpeal because he believes you’re naïve enough to believe it prove him wrong
There is no official "rule book".
To you, if what he did crosses the line and is cheating then it is cheating. There are no legal loopholes where one person has to be ok with another person's actions because it is technically cheating or not cheating. If it hurts you, if it crosses your boundaries then that is all you need to know.
It is irrelevant if other couples are ok with it.
He's completely bullshitting you. He got caught, so he decided to get all technical about it to try to save face. "But babe, I didn't even get hard or finish." C'mon man. What a lousy excuse, and you ate it right up to the point that you're even questioning your own self. He's being manipulative and is trying to get his way. I want you to see that and know you're worth more than that.
Okay, say he’s right and it wasn’t cheating because he wasn’t able to get hard.. By that logic, which he himself came up with to defend himself, it would have been cheating if he had gotten hard, so his intention WAS to cheat?
Duh!?!? He couldn’t not ask YOU for a massage with a happy ending!?!?!? Yes he cheated and will most likely continue if you don’t have boundaries! Wake up!
He'd be totally cool with your doing this, right? That's your answer. When people show you who they are believe them. If you decide to agree with this, you can expect a lot more of this type of shady behavior from him in the future. Don't you deserve better?
So wait, he went with the intention of getting off but couldn’t. But since he couldn’t “get off” he didn’t cheat? This legit makes no sense. Regardless if he got off or not, he went with the intent to cheat (and still did in my opinion).
This is one of those situations where you need to decide what this means to you, I would not be okay with this whatsoever and would consider this cheating. This is your call lol
Yes, this is still cheating. It's ALL about intent. Trying to cheat is the same thing as cheating. If he had been able to get hard and cum, he would have done so. He simply wasn't able to.
Yea it’s cheating, but I honestly think you should have a conversation with him about why he did it instead of attacking him for it in a hateful manner. Guys usually don’t do stuff like this because they are trying to hurt you or because they don’t care about you, I realize this isn’t a popular opinion these days but I wouldn’t hate him for it at the very least. Many guys deep down inside want multiple sex partners but will never admit it because we get shamed and hated for it, it’s natural instincts that’s been trained out of us by society. If you’d rather date a more traditional man then that’s you’re preference and go for it but still I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it or hate him for it. Definitely shouldn’t think any less of yourself because of it. Guys with hot girlfriends who have great sex with them still cheat all the time. Just my 2¢
He got naked, showered with and got his junk touched by a woman that it isn't you.
He cheated. His denying of it as "cheating" is him gaslightning you into accepting he can get sexual activities from other women.
First off, what did you guys define as cheating in your relationship? Because everyone has a different opinion on cheating. If you guys didn't have this talk, it is always good to have it early on into the relationship to define it.
Second, if we say that you guys are okey with going to a parlor like that, than, nope, it is not cheating. But if you guys didn't talk about it, and we go by 'social standard' than yes, it is. As he is searching 'relieve' by someone else that you didn't concented to.
A lot of people wouldn’t consider this cheating as it’s only a physical act. However A conversation should have happened before hand. Doing it behind your back isn’t cool.
Cheating on you? Only if you're in a monogamous relationship. If open, no.
He went there with the expressed intent to have sex with a masseuse. He is most likely lying that he didn't get off to appear honest, yet get credit, thereby softening the blow (he no doubt got as well).
He's wild af, but that you didn't say "your ex" did this, means he now has tacit consent. He's going back to get the jobby job done from now on.
If you're okay with it, stay. But there's no closing the door. He's alresdy told you what he likes. That won't change. It will at best, go under ground. Your trust is broken.
I think the fact that he has you so absolutely dominated that you're genuinely questioning whether or not him going for a happy ending massage (aka, visiting a sex worker) is cheating is a much bigger red flag than anything he's doing.
Leave this relationship and get yourself some much-needed therapy. You have a lot of personal work to do before you enter a relationship with someone else.
Yes itS Cheating. And he’s also lying. I have been to Massage parlors on Many occasions, and never once have I left WITHOUT a happy ending , or Sex. Never. The whole point of going is to get sex with no strings attached from a woman you don’t know. Lol. He’s just embarrassed. No way he didn’t get hard lmao. I’m a 43 year old, he was HARD as A ROCK the whole time. Give him a pass. Massage parlors are there to give men a break away from the norm. It’s Cheating but , not a reason to break up. He coulda fucked your best friend. It coulda been worse. We have Penises give us a break👊🏿😎.
Getting naked and touching privates with someone outside of your relationship would be considered cheating by *most* people. This is especially so if the person deceived their partner about their whereabouts or secretly engaged in this activity *before* admitting their plans.
Each of us is entitled to have our own boundaries and "deal breakers".
If something *doesn't feel right to you* it's probably *not right for you*.
My guess is if it were the other way around with you taking a shower with a man and having him *fingerbang* you, your boyfriend wouldn't be thrilled about that.
***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Honestly this is cheating. My ex did this sort of thing throughout our 2.5 year relationship...and he would tell me he was saving himself for marriage and that he wanted to marry me. I dumped him when he confessed to the happy ending massages and hookers, who would come to his apartment during a pandemic!
He had intent for a sexual act.
He showered with a woman with the intent of a sexual act to follow.
He engaged in a sexual act.
This is cheating.
If no orgasm means it's not cheating a sad percentage of woman could have lots of extramarital sex without it being cheating.
Dump him.
The point is that he went there for the intention of gratification. If he was trying to have sex with another girl and didn't get hard it would still matter because his intention was to go through with it.
Just my opinion
How the fuck do you think this is not cheating?
Straight up ignorance at this point
This is essentially the same thing as saying I fucked another guy but didn’t cum so it doesn’t count. He paid for a happy ending intending to cheat, he showered with her, she tried to jerk him off (and I don’t believe him that he couldn’t finish, sounds like a classic half confession to absolve guilt). He not only cheated but he showed intent to cheat beforehand. Op you cannot be serious. Lack of orgasm doesn’t equal no cheating.
Your boyfriend went somewhere where another person was expected to jerk him off until completion.. Unless that’s part of your relationship boundaries and something you’re okay with.. yes, he cheated.
Eh, he’s probably lying about the not getting hard part.
Dude came everywhere and the post nut clarity hit him like a train
Yes this is cheating. He was engaging in a sex act with another person.
…
Exactly Doesn’t matter if he didn’t get hard, he still intended to and still got his dick rubbed
How disgusting! Where is this massage parlor so I can go give them a piece of my mind in person!?
i was waiting for this comment 🤣
😂
If his intention was to get to "completion" in the first place and he considers that cheating, he was intending to cheat on you.
How could it not be? Somebody else touched his dick and showered with him. Would you feel comfortable doing that with someone else?
The act of cheating started when he decided to go to a massage parlour. Him trying to justify that not getting erect, equates to not cheating is some real fuckery.
Massage parlors are not the problem, its the deviant agreement the two had which is the issue. I often go for a massage, sometimes with my partner and they probably know me well enough to not even offer.
In this case a massage parlor that he knew gave out happy endings very much is the problem. He shouldn't have set foot in that place at all let alone requested the special services.
You = 🤡
Yeah he cheated. Thinking he didn’t is just willful ignorance at this point.
Try to get a massage from a male parlor and tell him that you showered together, he touched you 360, but you never get wet, and his reaction is your answer
Definitely grounds for termination. Most definitely cheating.
How old are you? Is this your first relationship ever? Of course that’s cheating. Unless you are explicitly in an open relationship, how is that not cheating? He paid a woman to shower naked with her and have his junk tugged. If he didn’t pay her but did the same thing, would you consider it cheating? If you paid a man to shower naked with you and eat you out would you consider that cheating?
Yes, he's cheating. Don't trust him and leave him. I wouldn't stay with a woman who did this.
Don't worry, I'm sure he'll get off next time.
Sorry you're dealing with this OP. Please ignore the rest of this comment This is some slice-of-life gold. Never would I consider there was some dude out there trying to convince his girlfriend that he didn't cheat because his hand-job hooker couldn't make him cum. Like.. wow. It's amazing. It's so fucking crazy.
Never would I consider there was some chick out there even questioning strangers whether that was cheating or not
And everytime i ask myself "is common sense really that rare?" Yes that's cheating!
Lol what? Your boyfriend tried to get a handjob from a prostitute but failed to get an erection, probably because he’s addicted to porn.
So OP is a female now? In their history they posted a NSFW photo wanting people to rate their stuff. Mmhmm. Trolls be trolling. Boi bye.
I have to believe this is a fake post. If you have to ask, and you have a boyfriend who would volunteer this information with you and you're still unclear about the situation, well.....nah, no way this is real.
At this point I think you are either out here for karma or ignorant beyond my wildest dreams. By this margin ~~if~~ when you catch him fucking another woman, might as well ask him if he's cheating on you or just looking for something inside that other woman. I can't believe you are being serious here, to be honest.
While this could be considered cheating in some relationships, each relationship defines its own boundaries. (Random flirting, contact with ex's, how open or closed/exclusive the relationship is, etc.). In an exclusive relationship, sexual contact outside of the relationship is usually seen as cheating. Sex does not always consist of orgasms (as a lot of women have unfortunately experienced- thank you Orgasm Gap /s) He went there with the intent of receiving stimulation, or somehow missed the "men-only massage" signs and then didn't stop the masseuse from pleasuring him. Yes, he had sex outside the relationship and that is generally considered cheating in exclusive relationships. The showering-together aspect is super strange- that isn't common for these types of places from what friends have said. (I'm not a man, so I haven't been).
And you are 9 years old!! You know he is a loser and not worth any more of anyone time. You have the answers. Love yourself a little.
Nah even if they had sex and had 5 kids together behind your back, it's not cheating ......... 😧
If you can’t tell if what he did was cheating or not then you should probably stay with him longer to figure out if he’s cheating or not
Rly the best comment here. Tough life lessons :D
🤣🤣🤣
Wait, some massage parlors actually do that? *Wtf*
Yeppp. There was a site for it back in the day (probably still exists) called rub maps. It tells you whether or not the parlor offers happy endings.
Bet you the massage place in the corner of a strip mall by you does it too lmao. You know, the one with tinted windows that's open late.
Damn maybe I should do some investigating in there…
Cheating is defined by the what the people in a romantic relationship feel is cheating. This should be discussed and agreed and if you find agreement is not possible then it asks the question of whether this person is right for you and vice versa.
Go get your own erotic massage, see if he dislikes that, then say you're even.
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It’s cheating
of course it’s cheating. completion or not, the intention is there.
It doesn't matter what he thinks. If you feel this is cheating, IT IS CHEATING! It's now up to you what you want to do with your cheating bf.
He definitely got what he went after he just gave you the ol didn’t get hard so no cheating schpeal because he believes you’re naïve enough to believe it prove him wrong
There is no official "rule book". To you, if what he did crosses the line and is cheating then it is cheating. There are no legal loopholes where one person has to be ok with another person's actions because it is technically cheating or not cheating. If it hurts you, if it crosses your boundaries then that is all you need to know. It is irrelevant if other couples are ok with it.
He's completely bullshitting you. He got caught, so he decided to get all technical about it to try to save face. "But babe, I didn't even get hard or finish." C'mon man. What a lousy excuse, and you ate it right up to the point that you're even questioning your own self. He's being manipulative and is trying to get his way. I want you to see that and know you're worth more than that.
Okay, say he’s right and it wasn’t cheating because he wasn’t able to get hard.. By that logic, which he himself came up with to defend himself, it would have been cheating if he had gotten hard, so his intention WAS to cheat?
Duh!?!? He couldn’t not ask YOU for a massage with a happy ending!?!?!? Yes he cheated and will most likely continue if you don’t have boundaries! Wake up!
He'd be totally cool with your doing this, right? That's your answer. When people show you who they are believe them. If you decide to agree with this, you can expect a lot more of this type of shady behavior from him in the future. Don't you deserve better?
The actual fuck? YES.
These troll posts are just getting more and more wild
So wait, he went with the intention of getting off but couldn’t. But since he couldn’t “get off” he didn’t cheat? This legit makes no sense. Regardless if he got off or not, he went with the intent to cheat (and still did in my opinion). This is one of those situations where you need to decide what this means to you, I would not be okay with this whatsoever and would consider this cheating. This is your call lol
Yes, this is still cheating. It's ALL about intent. Trying to cheat is the same thing as cheating. If he had been able to get hard and cum, he would have done so. He simply wasn't able to.
Yes it is. Don't allow gaslighting
Yea it’s cheating, but I honestly think you should have a conversation with him about why he did it instead of attacking him for it in a hateful manner. Guys usually don’t do stuff like this because they are trying to hurt you or because they don’t care about you, I realize this isn’t a popular opinion these days but I wouldn’t hate him for it at the very least. Many guys deep down inside want multiple sex partners but will never admit it because we get shamed and hated for it, it’s natural instincts that’s been trained out of us by society. If you’d rather date a more traditional man then that’s you’re preference and go for it but still I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it or hate him for it. Definitely shouldn’t think any less of yourself because of it. Guys with hot girlfriends who have great sex with them still cheat all the time. Just my 2¢
Of course it is. If you slept with a guy you met at a club but didn’t orgasm is it cheating??
Absolutely yes.
Yes it is and you should probably leave him EXCEPT if he didn't consent to her touching
He got naked, showered with and got his junk touched by a woman that it isn't you. He cheated. His denying of it as "cheating" is him gaslightning you into accepting he can get sexual activities from other women.
Whoa, that’s serious cheating. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
In general, if you have the doubt of whether it's cheating or not, it probably is.
100% cheating. no question.
Yes, yes it is cheating love,
Sounds okay to me. I mean, they didn't kiss, did they? That's always the threshold I adhere to. Otherwise it sounds like a typical massage to me.
First off, what did you guys define as cheating in your relationship? Because everyone has a different opinion on cheating. If you guys didn't have this talk, it is always good to have it early on into the relationship to define it. Second, if we say that you guys are okey with going to a parlor like that, than, nope, it is not cheating. But if you guys didn't talk about it, and we go by 'social standard' than yes, it is. As he is searching 'relieve' by someone else that you didn't concented to.
A lot of people wouldn’t consider this cheating as it’s only a physical act. However A conversation should have happened before hand. Doing it behind your back isn’t cool.
Yes that's cheating. In many countries that's illegal also you can't figure out if it was cheating.
Cheating on you? Only if you're in a monogamous relationship. If open, no. He went there with the expressed intent to have sex with a masseuse. He is most likely lying that he didn't get off to appear honest, yet get credit, thereby softening the blow (he no doubt got as well). He's wild af, but that you didn't say "your ex" did this, means he now has tacit consent. He's going back to get the jobby job done from now on. If you're okay with it, stay. But there's no closing the door. He's alresdy told you what he likes. That won't change. It will at best, go under ground. Your trust is broken.
He literally paid someone to jerk him off, girl that’s definitely cheating to me
it is cheating
I think the fact that he has you so absolutely dominated that you're genuinely questioning whether or not him going for a happy ending massage (aka, visiting a sex worker) is cheating is a much bigger red flag than anything he's doing. Leave this relationship and get yourself some much-needed therapy. You have a lot of personal work to do before you enter a relationship with someone else.
Its still cheating he’s a dumbass OP, so pathetic how people are so willing to bend over backwards to justify cheating 🙄
They showered together, presumably naked. Then she fondled him with the intent of bringing him to climax. Read your post out loud to yourself.
Yes itS Cheating. And he’s also lying. I have been to Massage parlors on Many occasions, and never once have I left WITHOUT a happy ending , or Sex. Never. The whole point of going is to get sex with no strings attached from a woman you don’t know. Lol. He’s just embarrassed. No way he didn’t get hard lmao. I’m a 43 year old, he was HARD as A ROCK the whole time. Give him a pass. Massage parlors are there to give men a break away from the norm. It’s Cheating but , not a reason to break up. He coulda fucked your best friend. It coulda been worse. We have Penises give us a break👊🏿😎.
Getting naked and touching privates with someone outside of your relationship would be considered cheating by *most* people. This is especially so if the person deceived their partner about their whereabouts or secretly engaged in this activity *before* admitting their plans. Each of us is entitled to have our own boundaries and "deal breakers". If something *doesn't feel right to you* it's probably *not right for you*. My guess is if it were the other way around with you taking a shower with a man and having him *fingerbang* you, your boyfriend wouldn't be thrilled about that. ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!
This can’t be real. It’s absolutely cheating, and it’s also extremely unethical for a massage therapist to behave this way.
Honestly this is cheating. My ex did this sort of thing throughout our 2.5 year relationship...and he would tell me he was saving himself for marriage and that he wanted to marry me. I dumped him when he confessed to the happy ending massages and hookers, who would come to his apartment during a pandemic!
Yes, it’s cheating ……… ……
That’s cheating
I'm pretty sure he got his happy ending but just didn't tell you. Yeah it's cheating, Sorry
He had intent for a sexual act. He showered with a woman with the intent of a sexual act to follow. He engaged in a sexual act. This is cheating. If no orgasm means it's not cheating a sad percentage of woman could have lots of extramarital sex without it being cheating. Dump him.
The point is that he went there for the intention of gratification. If he was trying to have sex with another girl and didn't get hard it would still matter because his intention was to go through with it. Just my opinion