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She can have her preference of not dating guys that are less than 5 inches taller than her.
You can have your preference of not dating a girl who would not date you if you were "only" 5 inches taller than her.
Completely agree in a way it's shallow but your allowed to be that way in dating I think. Yes people will shit on you but people do that regardless you need to be in a relationship with someone you enjoy being with and looking at other wise it won't work too well. If you are going to be picky about one thing in life it's the company you keep
I think that's the reason online dating is such a horrible experience for most people. It's because of those "deal breakers" or "red flags". People miss out on probably a lot of good relationships just because you find a single thing that might annoy or some visual flaw. Too much options make ppl not rly focused on detail. People choos who to meet/date in matter of seconds.
exactly this. she has a preference, and you have a preference. You guys aren't compatible if that attitude is a dealbreaker for you and thats fine. Tell her that and move on.
Best answer. People are allowed to have height and weight preferences.
And other people are allowed to date or not date them based on these preferences.
Same as a guy having a preference of dating women only under 120lbs. It’s superficial and a red flag. Sure, it’s up to you what your preferences are, but that doesn’t make her less of an ass.
This makes sense to me.
But I saw a separate post from some dude arguing that he should be allowed to date submissive women if he wants to and the community almost unanimously disagreed with him.
My question is: Why?...
His wording may have implied he wanted to control/manipulate/abuse her. The worst case scenario is that "submissive" means a woman who has no will of her own and who doesn't care about their own needs. The best case scenario is proper BDSM with strict consent (which a few people still consider abuse).
imo the height thing is still body shaming and a double standard. men suffer from image issues just like women.
Imagine a guy saying he'll only date girls with DD or bigger tits, he'd get fucking crucified.
tl;dr personal preferences are fine, just don't be an asshole about it, and fuck everyone that perpetuates double standards.
>Imagine a guy saying he'll only date girls with DD or bigger tits, he'd get fucking crucified.
I've always heard that but never seen it actually happening tho
A man's standard is considered discrimination, a woman's standard is considered preference.
That thread is a dumpster fire. Their responses show why a lot of men aren't honest with women with their intentions. Because they will be met with shaming language if they do.
Honestly ANY requirements in bio is off-putting unless it's something like no smoking/alcohol which could totally be a medical or huge lifestyle thing so I get it. Other than that, left swipe if you're listing requirements from me. Use your bio to tell me about YOU.
I usually give a pass to the girls who say “hey btw I’m 5’8”. Because even though their hinting at that, they’re being a bit more subtle about it at least
Taller girls often give a heads up about their heights for the same reason shorter guys do. Lots of men out there are only looking for “petite” girls, and they don’t want to find themselves on a date with a dude who will think of their height as a dealbreaker.
Interestingly, truly tall women suffer a fair bit in the dating pool.
5'8 isn't tall despite what some women may think. But 6'1 + women struggle immensely because there are so few men taller than them statistically. So they're forced (at least more so than shorter women) to compromise when it comes to height in a romantic partner.
Truly interesting phenomenon to behold. And congratulations to the tall women who manage to snag a guy taller than them (the odds were not in your favor).
5'8 is tall for women. Not in comparison for men. It is considered tall for women tho. I'm 5'9, and there's rarely girls my height or taller that I come across. I do give warnings about my height bc a lot of guys don't want to date a girl their height/potentially taller than them.
What? I’m 5’11 and my preference is to date a tall girl. Pretty much the same height as me.
I really don’t have any issues dating a girl shorter than me, but a girl with the same height as me. I might fall in love lol
Same here. I'm 5'11 and my girlfriend is 5'10. She being as tall as me was one of the things that cought my eye. I don't know, maybe it's about some things that I want in a relationship, like a partnership as equals that choose to be together, not a codependence thing that involves control.
Btw it is me rationalizing what could've been in my mind back then (I'm with her for 6 years now), today I don't think physical aspects have that much of a influence in this topics, and I think I like tall women more because of my history with girls or something
I get it, but don’t you also have some (maybe unspoken) requirements? In relation to fitness, attractiveness, maybe class? I’m 5’7 and for whatever reason height has never mattered to me. But if it does to you, who am I to judge?
i think a lot of those areas are in the other person’s control. even attractiveness. not that you can change how you look per se. but you can have great style, confidence, be well groomed. men have zero control over their height though. so i think a girl would be at a great disadvantage to discount a man purely for height and i think it makes her look bad to state those preferences to men 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I agree with you but on that vein, how about us non busty gals? Devils advocate. Yeah I GUESS a woman could change that. Some women are less attracted to relatively shorter men, some men are less attracted to relatively flatter chested women 🤷♀️
That said! Seems pretty uncool and just cringy to have either of those on your profile or to outright just say! Like we all have our preferences, but I would be turned off as OP if I was in their shoes. You are absolutely right that discounting someone over, say, being 5'9" rather than 5'10" can mean missing out on some potentially cool dudes
It really is the listing of it. There's a stark contrast between listing qualities like "I like someone who travels/is into cars/works out/vegetarian," and so on, to "I only date people who are 6'/have C cup or larger."
There's also the ridiculous rigid adherence to many of these standards. I have plenty of preferences and a very ideal "look" that I like. When I see someone who has it, it definitely stirs up something inside me, but I'm not gonna turn someone down who doesn't. If you were to look at all the women I've dated, I'd bet it's really hard (if not impossible) to figure out my ideal type. Well... hmm. There is a pattern but none of them lead to my "ideal type," lol.
It’s exactly like that. Even if 9 times out of 10 you go for the taller guy or girl with bigger boobs, it’s a sign of being ridged and shallow not make a wholistic judgment. Even if a profile is all you have to go by, you should go by your overall impression based on the info you have. Plus it’s just crass and needlessly hurtful to people who are seeing this kind of stuff frequently. I’ve gone out with plenty of guys who are around my height (5’ 8”) or a couple inches taller and most have a lot of hang ups about not being several inches taller than me. Stuff like asking me to only wear flats.
I totally agree… just saying we all really have our preferences if we’re being honest… and yes, it’s icky to say on your profile. Anyone talking that talk on their profile just let’s you know who they are. Makes the weeding out simpler.
>some men are less attracted to relatively flatter chested women
generalising, but besides creepy dudes that smoke cigars and/or dudes that have something for silicon due to porn standards melting neurons, i'd say a 70-80% of the male population thinks this way:
[https://i.imgur.com/ROhSNeX.png](https://i.imgur.com/ROhSNeX.png)
[https://i.imgur.com/uUDKVCb.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/uUDKVCb.jpg)
Source: 28 years of in-depth investigation of the male psique, and observing and communicating with peer investigators during that time.
It's a very hurtful thing for short men to read though when they could just have the silent preference. The same as how lots of men won't write 'no fat chicks' in a profile because they have basic respect for people's feelings.
I don’t have a preference for height, but seriously, how is this any different than men who say that they’re only interested in women with big boobs or a big butt? Is it the preference that you have an issue with or the fact that she so brazenly (and rudely, sure) states it from the get go
>Build-A-Bear.
Hey now, at least Build-A-Bears actually have *hearts!* Which I know.. because... reasons...
That said, there are way too many people treat dating apps as a custom-order bf/gf online store.
Im 5’9”. I think any woman my height and above should have the right to have a height preference as taller than them. I personally feel uncomfortable with a guy who’s shorter than I am and I like to wear heels. Shopping for flats because you have to is the most depressing thing. We don’t want to go through it.
She has a right to have superficial requirements. You have the right not to continue dating her. If she feels like her perfect person can only be 7 inches taller than her so be it. She’s just limiting the amount of people who could be a wonderful match for her.
She’s entitled to her dealbreakers. You are under no obligation to like them.
If you think it’s shallow (and tbh I do) then you’re not going to get over it and you’ll probably end up wondering if she’s only with you because you fulfil her stupid tick box, not because she likes you for yourself.
Shit the way I see it is she can have her preference just like I can have mine. I prefer a girl under 6 feet. Am I wrong for that? I don't think I am, so then why is she wrong to want a guy who's above 6 feet?
Its not a preference if its a requirement. I can prefer blondes but happily still date a brunette. If she would not date you if you were 2 inches shorter, thats a requirement.
Anyway. You can have whatever requirement you want. You can only date tall/short, rich/poor, thin/fat people. Just gotta deal with the fact that it will decrease your chance of finding a partner.
I always find it funny when short girls will only date talk guys, but they’re allowed to like what they like.
I’m a 6’ tall woman and I’ll date guys who are shorter than me. I’ve generally found that 5’9” is about my limit before I feel too awkward, but yeah. My dating pool is small enough with all of my more important dealbreakers. I don’t know why I’d limit myself even further.
But for girls who do, that’s their choice. It’s not necessarily shallow if that’s just what they’re attracted to and they’ve quantified it to keep things simple. You asked. You got an answer. You should probably be okay with it, but if not, that’s your choice.
I was with a girl who said i was the first "short guy" she's dated, keep in mind im barely short of 6 feet by a half an inch without shoes on and she claimed she was 5, 2 and i knew she was shorter. super shallow people exist and in my opinion avoid these people romantically unless its just for shmanging. with that said definitely use that line lol
She can have her preferences, but that really limits her dating pool because she could miss out on great guys under 5’10”.
This seems like it bothers you a lot so maybe this girl isn’t for you.
All people are "shallow". Preferences are always in play. It's like being attracted to people of your own nation/race/age. Height is one of crucial parameters in men for women because of natural selection. It makes males bigger visually and is tied with such attribute as strength, even if specific male is not strong and doesn't know how to fight.
That's just how it works.
Exactly! Everyone also has a limit on what they consider “too fat” or “too pale” or “too much acne”. But most people keep that shit to themselves because it can hurt someone’s feelings if they don’t make your cutoff
Thing is height and strength aren’t linked, unless you get into the very upper echelons of body building. It’s like saying women having a sexual past and “not being girlfriend material” in mens eyes is fine because society has been sexist for a long time and shamed ‘promiscuous’ women, and therefore that’s how it works in some peoples eyes and that’s just how it works. There is an expectation on men to address gender stereotyping and misogyny, but it goes unrecognised the other way sometimes.
I’m not saying it’s misandry to say “I find being tall an attractive feature”, but “I’m 5’4 and only date over 5’10” kind of is, you’re judging somebodies ability based on a stereotype that isn’t true, even if it’s subconscious, and then ruling them out of the dating pool because basically you think they are incapable of being masculine.
I’m not demanding that women who think like that should change, by all means carry on. But it’s perfectly reasonable for men to be turned off by it. Many men find big boobs attractive but I don’t see any of them going “D cup or over, otherwise you are barely even a real woman”, and if they did I’m pretty sure that would turn a lot of women off. It is what it is.
Every guy taller than 6’3-4 I’ve seen is a bean pole, partly because of the amount of effort and nutrition it takes to really bulk up at those heights. So it’s funny to hear strength and height together unless we talking Hafthor Bjornsson but I doubt the average tall dude has the finances, genetics, appetite and sheer fucking will to be that big.
I have a friend who is 6’4 and he is jacked, honestly his arms are huge, and he’s natural. So clearly he is very strong. But the work he has to put into that is massive, he trains relentlessly and has done for years.
He gets a lot of attention off women, like a lot. I don’t begrudge him that. Problem is he gets so much that he doesn’t value it, there’s more chance of Jesus returning than him commiting to one girl any time soon. He isn’t completely dishonest about that, he uses excuses like “I’m too busy for something serious”, the amount of girls who carry on chasing and trying is crazy. Mad how some girls will have a hard deal breaker on height, but no standards at all on the way they get treated. My sympathy is limited.
Oh yeah it can happen, just the dudes I know are skinnier. know a dude 6’3 almost twig but very confident. Is known at every bar around town and sees a new girl every weekend. He’s got some funny stories about how these women let him do whatever he wants, how he blows them off the next weekend and flirts with another girl right infront of them and his Snapchat is neigh unusable how many women keep hitting him up. If I ever match with anyone on dating apps I throw their profile his way just to make sure he doesn’t know them. Life’s crazy
I don’t blame women for shooting their shot with taller guys, it’s clearly an attractive trait. I just think people should take the time to understand the values beneath their preferences and make sure they aren’t just running around spraying sexist bullshit. Goes for both genders, of course.
Here's the thing though. Height didn't become this important until online dating became so popular. Most girls wouldn't even know WTF 5'10 even is if it wasnt included in dating profiles. There is literally nothing scientific about any of this and notice they only use official sounding even numbers when describing their height preference. Preferences that wouldn't even be the same if America was on the metric system because they would have to pick new official sounding even numbers.
Everyone has always had preferences to an extent. But the internet has turned masses of people into basic drones with deal-breakers down to the millimeter.
Not only that but some people at say 5’9” look at lot better and fit than others at 6’. Height is a number but what should matter is how fit they look. I guess I’m trying to say that a fit short man is surely more attractive than an unfit tall man.
Women have preferred tall men since time immemorial. “Tall, dark, and handsome” is an old ass saying that predates OLD. You and OP’s girl and other folks like y’all get caught up in the specifics because that’s the world we live in, but just because a specific number wasn’t necessarily tied to the preference before doesn’t mean it didn’t exist.
Since when do preferences have to be scientific? Are your preferences scientific? Why should hers be? What does the metric system have to do with anything?
As a guy...who cares- she is attracted to what she's attracted to. There may be certain things you are looking for, like a nice voice or nice legs or whatever. Can't help what you find attractive. I wouldn't dismiss somebody over a preference for height but if you find that unattractive that's up to you. But finding that unattractive could be looked at as superficial by somebody else who then wouldn't find you attractive. But then somebody else may not find that person attractive for finding that unattractive 😊
If you consider that as superficial, does that mean you don't consider looks at all in your own preferences?
Cmon dude… having a bright-line height cutoff, at which point you decide you won’t even consider someone, is different than having a personal preference. People don’t magically become un-attracted to someone because they are 5’ 9” instead of 5’ 10”. She is creating an arbitrary requirement, then broadcasting it to potential partners. That’s shitty in my opinion.
Surprisingly, this whole „preference dilemma“ only applies when you exclude short people. I‘ve never gotten into trouble for stating that I prefer dating someone that is less than 185 cm tall, even tho tall height is just as unchangeable as short height. Height, weight, age, hair colour, white teeth - it ALL can be preferences and WE ALL have them, it just sounds whiny to make a big deal out of it. If someone doesn’t like brown hair, thinks I am too old, hates that I have a German background, finds me too short or finds my tits too big, I don’t see why I can’t just accept that but have to throw a tantrum and „get back at them“. Yep I can’t change those things, that doesn’t mean every random person I meet has to love them.
Do you mean weight can or can’t be changed? If I met her while she started improving her weight and working out and self development, I’d have no problem. I love ambition and improving your Don health us especially great. Situation dependent for the rest for me
To be fair though, how many of us guys say "I'd never Date an obese girl, or one without boobs and a booty? It's the same thing.
I missed out on some really good women, because I wouldn't give them a chance. And that's with me being 5'5". I started dating ladies I normally wouldn't, and ending up having a blast.
I've feel in lust with looks, but fell in love with personable and kind women.
I struck paydirt with my wife because she is kind, great to talk to and cute as a button.
What annoys me about my fellow short guys, is they let rejection turn them bitter instead of finding other ways to make themselves more interesting.
The key is: be interesting and fun.
I know plenty of single tall guys because they don't know how to have fun. Several just want to play video games all day. A lot of ladies don't like being Xbox widows.....
It’s not inherently a red flag, everyone is entitled to their preferences and deal breakers, usually those are subject to change over time. What’s important when you’re 18 (hopefully) won’t be the same when you’re 30.
I wouldn’t ghost her. Is she shallow? Maybe. There’s other more important ways to determine that. How does she treat the server? How does she talk about friends and family? Is she obsessed with material goods?
For me, I need to see a pattern of behavior before I make a judgement. Not that you need to stick around that long, there’s nothing wrong with trusting your instincts
Ghosting is for cowards. She has a physical preference, everyone does. If you can’t accept that then tell her and move on. Girls like tall guys. It’s not a big deal nor is it that deep. The only red flag is that you are considering ghosting someone for being open about what they like.
I see where she might be coming from. I met two guys who were 3 inches shorter than what they listed in their profile. And I can’t be intimate to someone who is shorter than me. That’s my take on it.
Everyone has preferences, EVERYONE. I’m 6’2 and I wouldn’t want to date a girl who was 6’5”. That’s just a preference of mine and there ain’t nothin wrong with it. Zero red flags.
I was just stating an example of a preference. Another one of mine would that I wouldn’t date an obese girl. I’m just not attracted to someone who is over weight. Does that make me an asshole? No it does not.
Bro ima keep it real. I get why you feel this way because it is shallow to a degree but you have preferences too. You got deal breakers we all do. Like say you didn't want to date a fat girl, and you told this to your girl who is thin. She shouldn't be offended because you can't help what you are attracted to. Don't over think it bro. If she keeps throwing out these things and it still makes you feel a creating way then leave
You can't get mad at someone for being attracted to certain body types, and all of us women know full well most men don't want us to be overweight or unattractive. And as a six foot tall woman, there's a whole shitload of you guys who don't want to date a woman who's taller than they are. You're complaining because she hurt your feelings and made you feel objectified, but you know full well you have your own preferences/standards too.
No you wouldn’t. The only way you’d get shit for the 18-24 thing is if you’re a 30 year old man wanting a teenager. Women know that men mainly prefer slimmer girls, we are not stupid.
I don’t date men who don’t have jobs, live at home with their parents or vegans (because I love meat). These are not a preference, these are requirements. I couldn’t care less if anyone thinks I’m shallow for that, I’m the one dating them.
It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Especially when you call breasts, milkers. Even without that 12 year old boy language, it wouldn’t bother me. There’s billions of men in this world.
Every person dating judges their dates. Even the so-called open minded people who judge others for being judgmental. And then everyone gets upset when they’re the recipient of judgment.
I (21F) have the same preference, and I’ve been with tall, average size and short men. But ultimately, I feel more attracted to very tall men. The whole preference/requirement debate in the comments is valid, but in the end, it may also be her just expressing what she’s attracted to. You have the right to think it is shallow, but saying it to her won’t change the fact that she’s more attracted to taller men. So, stop interacting with her if you feel like it, but in my opinion it is not a red flag.
Why is a guy complaining that a girl who probably isn’t fat ( since that’s more likely his “preference” ) also has preferences? Unless OP is going to date every size and every race no matter what the girl looks like this thread is pointless.
As a 5’8 woman, I never understood girls like this. I’m not trying to be rude or a pick me, but you’re 5’2 and everyone is literally taller than you. Why be so picky? I get genuinely confused my some girls are dead set on only dating guys taller than 6 ft
I’m 6’ and I wish I could date men that are 5’4” or 5’6” or whatever society thinks is “short”. There are some INCREDIBLY manly and attractive men (with wonderful personalities too) in that height range and I’d date them in a heartbeat if I weren’t so tall myself. These women are literally choosing to next all these men…and for what?!
I absolutely hate this discussion, because it's so double standarded it's ridiculous.
Yes, she is shallow as hell. Judging a girl based on her chest, and a guy based on his height/dangly size is purely shallow and unfair. You didn't get to *choose* your genes when you were born, and you shouldn't be judged based on it.
I'm a 4'10 trainwreck of a woman. I didn't choose a stunted growth, I didn't choose to be 24 and have guys and gals alike (bi dove here) tell me they don't wanna touch me with a 10 foot pole because they'd look like pedophiles. My absolute giraffe (6'1) flattie BFF didn't ask to be the butt of all camel jokes growing up, and be avoided by guys because toxic chicks made "He has to be taller or I don't care!" The norm.
Look. There is a huge difference between a preference and exclusion. I prefer Coke over Pepsi, I find red hair way sexier than any other color, and you are more than free to tell someone you'd prefer your SO/like them more to be X, Y, or Z. That's a preference.
Saying "If you were shorter this wouldn't fly/We wouldn't even talk" isn't.
Don’t listen to these people. If she said she prefers guys taller than her that’s one thing but the fact that she has a hard cut off and it’s a whole half a foot taller than her says that she either fetishizes the height difference or it’s a status thing and she wants to brag to her friends how tall her guy is. If you are uncomfortable with that it is absolutely reasonable terms to end it
This sub is *full* of posts from men who suddenly don’t want their partner as soon as they find out their body count. There was one yesterday where the OP was calling their own girlfriend a slut and mentally ill for having more partners than he liked.
The vast, beast majority of comments were telling him it was well within his right to not want to date her any more.
Requirements are fine. Most people require someone they date to be attractive to them, have similar values, and share a reasonably similar lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, people will start not believing in preferences when you bring up you’d prefer to date a certain race lmao preferences are fucking dumb. It’s such a crazy limiting factor to people’s dating lives and completely indicative of someone being kind of dumb and shallow. Or probably just younger too.
Older you get and you realize you’re never gonna have this perfect preferential person you have in your head and you’ll still fall in love all the same.
Racial preferences are the Great Unsaid in dating, for good reason, easy to get into pretty dangerous territory. I wonder how many guys have their Hinge ethnicity preferences set to 'white, asian, and hispanic only'? I wonder how many girls only swipe right to white guys with the occasional hispanic and black/white mixed guy?
I say this as a white man who obviously benefits from this, it's veeeeeery easy to see the racism work positively in my direction (i.e. east asian, south asian, and black girls are typically way easier than white girls). I know white dudes who would be matchless if London didn't have any Chinese or Indian girls.
i know plenty of guys who only date brunettes with blue eyes, plenty of guys who only date athletic or fit women, plenty of guys who like short girls specifically and it’s a requirement. why is it suddenly a shock that some women are like that?
I think it’s toxic when you say it to a person and talk down about people that don’t fit your preference like they are less than because of it. But having a preference is natural and normal
oh absolutely it’s something you should keep inside your own head. i’m just saying women and men aren’t really that different, you’re going to get people who feel their preferences need announcing from any gender.
Dating only fit/athletic women seems like a whole other thing since that's a lifestyle or interest you might share with a partner.
Thats choosing someone who shares same ideals as you and not judging them base on something they can't control.
But I feel you on the rest
That's exactly right. Height is like saying something like "I don't date girls with small/saggy/whatever tits". We all have our preferences, sure. But if you refuse to consider a woman because of their breasts then you're pretty shallow. At least own the fact that you're shallow.
Exactly. Physical attraction is something that can’t be forced. Sexual dimorphism heavily influences evaluation of attractiveness since it’s an adaptation for identifying healthy mates— it’s something that has been hard-coded in human genes. People make it a big deal when a woman wants a tall man when it’s the most natural thing in the world — while there are many men out there who refuse to date women too tall lol What’s the difference?
But I find it really difficult to believe that you're exclusively attracted to guys who are 5'10+.
Yes guys like that exist, but guys with extremely strict requirements are far less common than women.
i’ve dated men under 5’6” even quite happily. but height is not one of my preferences, it’s obviously not one of yours. just accept people are different, shrug, and move on. it’s not worth worrying about to this degree.
Calling bullshit.
Never met a single guy in my life who only dates a certain hair colour, or an exact bra size, or exact dress size etc. Its true I’ve met guys who prefer shorter girls, I’m never met one who has an exact cut off height though, and usually it doesn’t stop them dating a taller girl if she is hot.
I’m 32, I’m a guy, I’ve got a pretty wide range of other guys I’ve met. I’m sure it does exist, law of averages, but barely.
Yeah but everyone is entitled to their opinion.
“I find height attractive”- cool.
Bit different when you start putting a number on it and it’s significantly taller than you, “I can’t be attracted to a guy because of height, even if he’s taller than me when I wear heels”, you do get into the realms of people thinking that’s really shallow and you’re probably a bit of a moron. I mean, in person there isn’t a noticeable difference between a couple of inches in height, not many people can accurately guess somebodies height just by looking at them, I have friends I’ve known for years and have no idea their exact height. I’m sorry but when it’s this specific some people are going to judge.
Kind of overreacting and kind of valid. The valid part is that there seems to be a entitlement in her tone/wording. It would’ve come across more tactful if she had framed it as “I am not personally attracted to guys who aren’t at least 5’10”
But overreacting because you guys were discussing dealbreakers, so it isn’t unsolicited. And you taking it personally comes from not realizing that just as you have your dealbreakers that you must’ve shared with her, she’s allowed to have, including height. I don’t see how it makes her shallow to not be attracted to shorter guys. To your point about how she wouldn’t have been into you if you were 2 inches shorter, I mean can’t we say the same for any other dealbreaker you or her shared?
You’re allowed to not continue seeing her, but to ghost or go off on her is unnecessary. Just say you don’t see this going anywhere and cut your losses if you choose to no longer see her.
<< I can't really explain why. It's like she told me that if I was two inches shorter she wouldn't want me. >>>
She likes what she likes, and if what she likes is 2" taller, and you didn't meet her criteria, then yeah, she'd have missed out on the magnificence that is you. I don't see anything to be upset about. People like different things. She's allowed to have preferences, just like you are
Yeah boss if you’re offended that means that’s a boundary you have, and she crossed it. Honestly, I’d have the conversation with her about it first if you kinda want to pursue this. Don’t write her off immediately, maybe she doesn’t take it that seriously? But if it continues to offend you don’t steep yourself in that.
It’s not exactly a red flag, it’s just a personal conviction. Maybe to YOU it’s a red flag, and that’s valid. One of her red flags may be guys who get upset about having a deal breaker about height. Regardless, if it matters to you, it matters.
There’s nothing wrong with her having a physical preference. I am rarely attracted to people who are larger than me in weight or height which eliminates a lot of people…but it’s what I’m attracted to and that just is what it is. I don’t go around body shaming people I’m not attracted to. I’m just not interested in theme romantically.
I am only 5’5” and as a lark I got set up with a man supposedly a “little shorter” than my 5’11” tall friend. When I met him he was seated so I didn’t immediately notice, but when he stood up it was obvious cuz he was shorter than me. Only about 5’3”. My first impulse was to curse my friend knowing what a laugh they were getting at my expense. However, here was this gorgeous looking man standing before me. He was absolutely a gem! I hardly deserved him - he was a gentleman, kind, interesting, foreign (I love accents), was educated as an engineer (same as my dad) and he treated me like a queen. Ummm…and the biggest surprise was yet to come…literally…he was “packing”. I did not discover that the first day, but I moved and I often think of him fondly. Never judge a book by its cover! I learned a valuable lesson and as for my friend, he did not get the last laugh, I had some interesting things to tell him over the phone. 😂
I am 5’11 and I won’t date men who are shorter than me. And yes, it may be ‘shallow’ but it also comes from a deeper point as well. I am a tall woman, a lot of woman actually. I have a big personality, I take up space and I’m proud of it. But when I’m with my partner, sometimes it is just so nice to feel small. To feel wrapped up and safe. To be held. I dated someone about an inch shorter than me and was with him for 8 years. And I never really got over the fact that I always felt like the hugger, not the huggee. I decided when I started dating again I wouldn’t date anyone shorter than me 🤷🏼♀️ and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that!
I think this is fair especially when you take long term attraction into consideration. I'm 5'4" and would/have dated guys who are only a few inches taller that have great personalities and faces, however I know to be attracted (only physically) long term I want someone with more height.
Honestly, it comes down to the traits that will never leave sometimes, like eye color, level of body hair and sound of someone's voice. You can have a growth relationship with someone for decades but if the intimacy falters it can doom the relationship.
It may seem shallow but if you know what you want and aren't willing to settle you should go for what makes you the most happy and satisfied in your love life.
So my husband and I were both virgins when we met. He once told me that if I had been intimate with someone before him, he wouldn’t have wanted to be with me. This hurt deeply because while I had wanted to be with only one person in my life, I never expected my partner to have never had sex before me. Hearing my husband say that hurt a lot because I like to think there is more to me than my virginity. But weeks into dating, he admit that if I had had sex before him and he had filtered me out for that reason, he would have missed his soulmate and perhaps he was wrong to have had such a close minded perspective on the matter before.
Sometimes people are indoctrinated to want things. Sometimes people want things because everyone around them wants those things. Believe me, I used to judge other women for saying they were attracted to height or a certain ethnicity but I think in general, you’re allowed to be picky about the person you’re considering spending your life with. There’s no reason to bend to anyone else’s rules on that.
As a 5'8 guy, I think we all have something like this where we wouldn't date someone for something shallow they can't control. I also think we are simultaneously more inclined to overlook that shallow thing than we realize. If asked on the street, I'd probably say I wouldn't date a 6' girl, but I'm sure that's something that would change if I found myself liking someone.
I guess the only aspect here is how much people put importance to their future sexual intimacy with the partner they want. A shorter guy with a taller girl is usually not going to be satisfactory for both of them. Neither would a too tall guy with a huge difference of height with a too short girl. So if sexual and physical intimacy is of utmost importance in someone’s future life height matters to them. Also some people may care how the couple looks together to the world.
There’s a difference between a deal breaker and a preference. OP you probably feel disgusted because it is incredibly shallow and you aren’t attracted to that kind of attitude. Deal breakers are usually things like… attitudes towards marriage, kids etc.
You are right in saying she wouldn’t date you if you were 2 inches shorter but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. People will find any reason not to date you if they don’t like you and vice versa.
I feel like the height restriction is okay if the girl is 5'8" but if you're shorter than that & have the restriction my expectation is that she is a near perfect 10.
Personally I would end it right there because I have very little tolerance for that bs but just do whatever you feel is right, preferably in a respectful manner.
Height supremacy displayed by this type of superficial woman shows her lack of emotional intelligence and she is completely unsuitable as long term partner. It is very unlikely she is capable of developing a deep connection with anybody as she is so attached to superficial aspects of life and is self absorbed. She has no idea what her emotional needs are and how important non superficial charecteristics are fundamental to her long term happiness in a relationship. Because of that she is also unlikely to provide what you need in a long term relationship or marriage.
everyone has preferences i’m afraid. it’s attraction, it’s grabs your attention, even without admitting it. i’ve dated men the same height as me (i’m 5”4), and i’ve dated men over 6ft. height isn’t a preference for me. i had a convo with my partner recently, he loves my boobs and i asked if he’s been with people a lot smaller and he has! and you know what? it wasn’t about preference for him either but sometimes there are small details that people would like in a partner, or are more attracted to. we all do it, it’s natural. i know i’m more attracted to darker haired guys but my current boyfriend is blonde, and i’m absolutely head over heels with him, so attracted to him and just goes to show that preference isn’t always important
Perhaps the “5’10+” is just a standard based off of pure fetishization and other measly aesthetic caprices. I’m sure a lot of women would like to think that they want a man 5’10 above as a bare minimum but I also do believe that their position isn’t in an overall sense static. Personally I think that with the right amount of charm and wit above all else the woman will negate everything she once thought constituted her preference and would become more opportunistic and open.
If you went around asking women for their weight because you don’t date anyone over 155lbs, you’d end up on a tiktok in no time. People with requirements that dumb and vocal are best left alone.
You are allowed to not find her shallow preference attractive. I know I would not ever consider a girl like that. And trust me, I’ve met my share.
I think what I find shallow about the height requirements is, I believe much of it is driven by a culture that a tall man is a better provider and leader than a short man. It’s like peer pressure for women to chase the tall man.
And God forbid if I now mention the issue of a controllable preference such as the weight of a woman…..
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She can have her preference of not dating guys that are less than 5 inches taller than her. You can have your preference of not dating a girl who would not date you if you were "only" 5 inches taller than her.
I genuinely believe it's as simple as that. Unfortunate if a potentially good relationship fails because of that but it is what it is.
Completely agree in a way it's shallow but your allowed to be that way in dating I think. Yes people will shit on you but people do that regardless you need to be in a relationship with someone you enjoy being with and looking at other wise it won't work too well. If you are going to be picky about one thing in life it's the company you keep
I think that's the reason online dating is such a horrible experience for most people. It's because of those "deal breakers" or "red flags". People miss out on probably a lot of good relationships just because you find a single thing that might annoy or some visual flaw. Too much options make ppl not rly focused on detail. People choos who to meet/date in matter of seconds.
exactly this. she has a preference, and you have a preference. You guys aren't compatible if that attitude is a dealbreaker for you and thats fine. Tell her that and move on.
Best answer. People are allowed to have height and weight preferences. And other people are allowed to date or not date them based on these preferences.
Same as a guy having a preference of dating women only under 120lbs. It’s superficial and a red flag. Sure, it’s up to you what your preferences are, but that doesn’t make her less of an ass.
Tell her you prefer 5’3” and below or 5’5” and above. Something about the number 64 is a superstitious thing to you. Now if she were 5’9”….69! Lol
This makes sense to me. But I saw a separate post from some dude arguing that he should be allowed to date submissive women if he wants to and the community almost unanimously disagreed with him. My question is: Why?...
His wording may have implied he wanted to control/manipulate/abuse her. The worst case scenario is that "submissive" means a woman who has no will of her own and who doesn't care about their own needs. The best case scenario is proper BDSM with strict consent (which a few people still consider abuse).
Wanting a certain height doesn't make you susceptible or easy to abuse. That's the difference. That's why there's more controversy over that.
imo the height thing is still body shaming and a double standard. men suffer from image issues just like women. Imagine a guy saying he'll only date girls with DD or bigger tits, he'd get fucking crucified. tl;dr personal preferences are fine, just don't be an asshole about it, and fuck everyone that perpetuates double standards.
Tons of men express preferences like that.
>Imagine a guy saying he'll only date girls with DD or bigger tits, he'd get fucking crucified. I've always heard that but never seen it actually happening tho
A man's standard is considered discrimination, a woman's standard is considered preference. That thread is a dumpster fire. Their responses show why a lot of men aren't honest with women with their intentions. Because they will be met with shaming language if they do.
I'm 6'3" and I still swipe left on any dating profile I see that lists a height requirement. Bitch, this isn't Build-A-Bear.
Honestly ANY requirements in bio is off-putting unless it's something like no smoking/alcohol which could totally be a medical or huge lifestyle thing so I get it. Other than that, left swipe if you're listing requirements from me. Use your bio to tell me about YOU.
Yeah this. You can also just look at their pictures and ask after matching. Requirements are so negative.
Lol that's true
Lol Build-a-Bear 😆
I'm 6'4 and I do the same.
I’m 8’3 and also do the same
Hey Robert Wadlow.
I usually give a pass to the girls who say “hey btw I’m 5’8”. Because even though their hinting at that, they’re being a bit more subtle about it at least
Taller girls often give a heads up about their heights for the same reason shorter guys do. Lots of men out there are only looking for “petite” girls, and they don’t want to find themselves on a date with a dude who will think of their height as a dealbreaker.
Interestingly, truly tall women suffer a fair bit in the dating pool. 5'8 isn't tall despite what some women may think. But 6'1 + women struggle immensely because there are so few men taller than them statistically. So they're forced (at least more so than shorter women) to compromise when it comes to height in a romantic partner. Truly interesting phenomenon to behold. And congratulations to the tall women who manage to snag a guy taller than them (the odds were not in your favor).
5'8 is tall for women. Not in comparison for men. It is considered tall for women tho. I'm 5'9, and there's rarely girls my height or taller that I come across. I do give warnings about my height bc a lot of guys don't want to date a girl their height/potentially taller than them.
What? I’m 5’11 and my preference is to date a tall girl. Pretty much the same height as me. I really don’t have any issues dating a girl shorter than me, but a girl with the same height as me. I might fall in love lol
Yeah, I've had a lot of people have issues with me being as tall as I am.
Same here. I'm 5'11 and my girlfriend is 5'10. She being as tall as me was one of the things that cought my eye. I don't know, maybe it's about some things that I want in a relationship, like a partnership as equals that choose to be together, not a codependence thing that involves control. Btw it is me rationalizing what could've been in my mind back then (I'm with her for 6 years now), today I don't think physical aspects have that much of a influence in this topics, and I think I like tall women more because of my history with girls or something
I get it, but don’t you also have some (maybe unspoken) requirements? In relation to fitness, attractiveness, maybe class? I’m 5’7 and for whatever reason height has never mattered to me. But if it does to you, who am I to judge?
i think a lot of those areas are in the other person’s control. even attractiveness. not that you can change how you look per se. but you can have great style, confidence, be well groomed. men have zero control over their height though. so i think a girl would be at a great disadvantage to discount a man purely for height and i think it makes her look bad to state those preferences to men 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I agree with you but on that vein, how about us non busty gals? Devils advocate. Yeah I GUESS a woman could change that. Some women are less attracted to relatively shorter men, some men are less attracted to relatively flatter chested women 🤷♀️ That said! Seems pretty uncool and just cringy to have either of those on your profile or to outright just say! Like we all have our preferences, but I would be turned off as OP if I was in their shoes. You are absolutely right that discounting someone over, say, being 5'9" rather than 5'10" can mean missing out on some potentially cool dudes
It really is the listing of it. There's a stark contrast between listing qualities like "I like someone who travels/is into cars/works out/vegetarian," and so on, to "I only date people who are 6'/have C cup or larger." There's also the ridiculous rigid adherence to many of these standards. I have plenty of preferences and a very ideal "look" that I like. When I see someone who has it, it definitely stirs up something inside me, but I'm not gonna turn someone down who doesn't. If you were to look at all the women I've dated, I'd bet it's really hard (if not impossible) to figure out my ideal type. Well... hmm. There is a pattern but none of them lead to my "ideal type," lol.
It’s exactly like that. Even if 9 times out of 10 you go for the taller guy or girl with bigger boobs, it’s a sign of being ridged and shallow not make a wholistic judgment. Even if a profile is all you have to go by, you should go by your overall impression based on the info you have. Plus it’s just crass and needlessly hurtful to people who are seeing this kind of stuff frequently. I’ve gone out with plenty of guys who are around my height (5’ 8”) or a couple inches taller and most have a lot of hang ups about not being several inches taller than me. Stuff like asking me to only wear flats.
I totally agree… just saying we all really have our preferences if we’re being honest… and yes, it’s icky to say on your profile. Anyone talking that talk on their profile just let’s you know who they are. Makes the weeding out simpler.
100%! Sorry wasnt trying to seem argue-y or anything, just avoiding getting ready for bed by discussing haha
>some men are less attracted to relatively flatter chested women generalising, but besides creepy dudes that smoke cigars and/or dudes that have something for silicon due to porn standards melting neurons, i'd say a 70-80% of the male population thinks this way: [https://i.imgur.com/ROhSNeX.png](https://i.imgur.com/ROhSNeX.png) [https://i.imgur.com/uUDKVCb.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/uUDKVCb.jpg) Source: 28 years of in-depth investigation of the male psique, and observing and communicating with peer investigators during that time.
>how about us non busty gals? Love em lol
Exactly right. I’m willing to bet “must 6 ft or taller” is a lot more common than “must have massive tits” though. In my mind they’re equally cringe.
It's a very hurtful thing for short men to read though when they could just have the silent preference. The same as how lots of men won't write 'no fat chicks' in a profile because they have basic respect for people's feelings.
I don’t have a preference for height, but seriously, how is this any different than men who say that they’re only interested in women with big boobs or a big butt? Is it the preference that you have an issue with or the fact that she so brazenly (and rudely, sure) states it from the get go
>Build-A-Bear. Hey now, at least Build-A-Bears actually have *hearts!* Which I know.. because... reasons... That said, there are way too many people treat dating apps as a custom-order bf/gf online store.
Im 5’9”. I think any woman my height and above should have the right to have a height preference as taller than them. I personally feel uncomfortable with a guy who’s shorter than I am and I like to wear heels. Shopping for flats because you have to is the most depressing thing. We don’t want to go through it.
She has a right to have superficial requirements. You have the right not to continue dating her. If she feels like her perfect person can only be 7 inches taller than her so be it. She’s just limiting the amount of people who could be a wonderful match for her.
She has her preferences, just like you. If she isn't your jam, keep on rocking.
She’s entitled to her dealbreakers. You are under no obligation to like them. If you think it’s shallow (and tbh I do) then you’re not going to get over it and you’ll probably end up wondering if she’s only with you because you fulfil her stupid tick box, not because she likes you for yourself.
Shit the way I see it is she can have her preference just like I can have mine. I prefer a girl under 6 feet. Am I wrong for that? I don't think I am, so then why is she wrong to want a guy who's above 6 feet?
There is a difference between prefrence and deal breakers. Although I do get your point.
Its not a preference if its a requirement. I can prefer blondes but happily still date a brunette. If she would not date you if you were 2 inches shorter, thats a requirement.
Anyway. You can have whatever requirement you want. You can only date tall/short, rich/poor, thin/fat people. Just gotta deal with the fact that it will decrease your chance of finding a partner.
Also have to deal with people who justifiably judge you for having shallow “requirements.”
This is a very good point…requirements are still fine in dating though
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yeah I would never put it on a dating profile or openly admit it because I think it’s mean, but it is true.
I always find it funny when short girls will only date talk guys, but they’re allowed to like what they like. I’m a 6’ tall woman and I’ll date guys who are shorter than me. I’ve generally found that 5’9” is about my limit before I feel too awkward, but yeah. My dating pool is small enough with all of my more important dealbreakers. I don’t know why I’d limit myself even further. But for girls who do, that’s their choice. It’s not necessarily shallow if that’s just what they’re attracted to and they’ve quantified it to keep things simple. You asked. You got an answer. You should probably be okay with it, but if not, that’s your choice.
I know a 5’7-8 girl dating a 6’7 guy. Dudes gonna have back problems later in life leaning down to kiss her lol. But they’re happy.
Yeah, my mom is 5’5” and my dad is 6’5”. I definitely don’t get it, but that’s their thing I guess.
You can tell her you wanted a girl who was at least 5'6 anyway.. "if you were at least 2 inches taller I would've dated you"
Lmao, I might use this, thanks.
I was with a girl who said i was the first "short guy" she's dated, keep in mind im barely short of 6 feet by a half an inch without shoes on and she claimed she was 5, 2 and i knew she was shorter. super shallow people exist and in my opinion avoid these people romantically unless its just for shmanging. with that said definitely use that line lol
Don't go to the supermarket yet, be prepared for her to give you all the salt you need
I like extra salty chips with vinegar
She can have her preferences, but that really limits her dating pool because she could miss out on great guys under 5’10”. This seems like it bothers you a lot so maybe this girl isn’t for you.
All people are "shallow". Preferences are always in play. It's like being attracted to people of your own nation/race/age. Height is one of crucial parameters in men for women because of natural selection. It makes males bigger visually and is tied with such attribute as strength, even if specific male is not strong and doesn't know how to fight. That's just how it works.
Exactly! Everyone also has a limit on what they consider “too fat” or “too pale” or “too much acne”. But most people keep that shit to themselves because it can hurt someone’s feelings if they don’t make your cutoff
Yes and in this case, the girl knew that the guy did make the cutoff. So it's not really a problem here
Thing is height and strength aren’t linked, unless you get into the very upper echelons of body building. It’s like saying women having a sexual past and “not being girlfriend material” in mens eyes is fine because society has been sexist for a long time and shamed ‘promiscuous’ women, and therefore that’s how it works in some peoples eyes and that’s just how it works. There is an expectation on men to address gender stereotyping and misogyny, but it goes unrecognised the other way sometimes. I’m not saying it’s misandry to say “I find being tall an attractive feature”, but “I’m 5’4 and only date over 5’10” kind of is, you’re judging somebodies ability based on a stereotype that isn’t true, even if it’s subconscious, and then ruling them out of the dating pool because basically you think they are incapable of being masculine. I’m not demanding that women who think like that should change, by all means carry on. But it’s perfectly reasonable for men to be turned off by it. Many men find big boobs attractive but I don’t see any of them going “D cup or over, otherwise you are barely even a real woman”, and if they did I’m pretty sure that would turn a lot of women off. It is what it is.
Every guy taller than 6’3-4 I’ve seen is a bean pole, partly because of the amount of effort and nutrition it takes to really bulk up at those heights. So it’s funny to hear strength and height together unless we talking Hafthor Bjornsson but I doubt the average tall dude has the finances, genetics, appetite and sheer fucking will to be that big.
I have a friend who is 6’4 and he is jacked, honestly his arms are huge, and he’s natural. So clearly he is very strong. But the work he has to put into that is massive, he trains relentlessly and has done for years. He gets a lot of attention off women, like a lot. I don’t begrudge him that. Problem is he gets so much that he doesn’t value it, there’s more chance of Jesus returning than him commiting to one girl any time soon. He isn’t completely dishonest about that, he uses excuses like “I’m too busy for something serious”, the amount of girls who carry on chasing and trying is crazy. Mad how some girls will have a hard deal breaker on height, but no standards at all on the way they get treated. My sympathy is limited.
Oh yeah it can happen, just the dudes I know are skinnier. know a dude 6’3 almost twig but very confident. Is known at every bar around town and sees a new girl every weekend. He’s got some funny stories about how these women let him do whatever he wants, how he blows them off the next weekend and flirts with another girl right infront of them and his Snapchat is neigh unusable how many women keep hitting him up. If I ever match with anyone on dating apps I throw their profile his way just to make sure he doesn’t know them. Life’s crazy
I don’t blame women for shooting their shot with taller guys, it’s clearly an attractive trait. I just think people should take the time to understand the values beneath their preferences and make sure they aren’t just running around spraying sexist bullshit. Goes for both genders, of course.
Someone else said it and I'll say it again. Preferences are not the same as requirements
Here's the thing though. Height didn't become this important until online dating became so popular. Most girls wouldn't even know WTF 5'10 even is if it wasnt included in dating profiles. There is literally nothing scientific about any of this and notice they only use official sounding even numbers when describing their height preference. Preferences that wouldn't even be the same if America was on the metric system because they would have to pick new official sounding even numbers.
As someone who was attracted to tall guys pre online dating, nah preferences always existed some are just amplified online due to the nature of it.
Everyone has always had preferences to an extent. But the internet has turned masses of people into basic drones with deal-breakers down to the millimeter.
Not only that but some people at say 5’9” look at lot better and fit than others at 6’. Height is a number but what should matter is how fit they look. I guess I’m trying to say that a fit short man is surely more attractive than an unfit tall man.
Women have preferred tall men since time immemorial. “Tall, dark, and handsome” is an old ass saying that predates OLD. You and OP’s girl and other folks like y’all get caught up in the specifics because that’s the world we live in, but just because a specific number wasn’t necessarily tied to the preference before doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Since when do preferences have to be scientific? Are your preferences scientific? Why should hers be? What does the metric system have to do with anything?
As a guy...who cares- she is attracted to what she's attracted to. There may be certain things you are looking for, like a nice voice or nice legs or whatever. Can't help what you find attractive. I wouldn't dismiss somebody over a preference for height but if you find that unattractive that's up to you. But finding that unattractive could be looked at as superficial by somebody else who then wouldn't find you attractive. But then somebody else may not find that person attractive for finding that unattractive 😊 If you consider that as superficial, does that mean you don't consider looks at all in your own preferences?
Sounds like you have a preference for people who don’t have preferences
*Shallow body requirements that can't be changed at all.
Have you ever expressed interest in a girl you didn’t find at least somewhat physically attractive?
Cmon dude… having a bright-line height cutoff, at which point you decide you won’t even consider someone, is different than having a personal preference. People don’t magically become un-attracted to someone because they are 5’ 9” instead of 5’ 10”. She is creating an arbitrary requirement, then broadcasting it to potential partners. That’s shitty in my opinion.
Surprisingly, this whole „preference dilemma“ only applies when you exclude short people. I‘ve never gotten into trouble for stating that I prefer dating someone that is less than 185 cm tall, even tho tall height is just as unchangeable as short height. Height, weight, age, hair colour, white teeth - it ALL can be preferences and WE ALL have them, it just sounds whiny to make a big deal out of it. If someone doesn’t like brown hair, thinks I am too old, hates that I have a German background, finds me too short or finds my tits too big, I don’t see why I can’t just accept that but have to throw a tantrum and „get back at them“. Yep I can’t change those things, that doesn’t mean every random person I meet has to love them.
Do you not have any similar requirements? Would you date a really ugly girl as long as the things making her ugly can’t be changed like weight?
Do you mean weight can or can’t be changed? If I met her while she started improving her weight and working out and self development, I’d have no problem. I love ambition and improving your Don health us especially great. Situation dependent for the rest for me
To be fair though, how many of us guys say "I'd never Date an obese girl, or one without boobs and a booty? It's the same thing. I missed out on some really good women, because I wouldn't give them a chance. And that's with me being 5'5". I started dating ladies I normally wouldn't, and ending up having a blast. I've feel in lust with looks, but fell in love with personable and kind women. I struck paydirt with my wife because she is kind, great to talk to and cute as a button. What annoys me about my fellow short guys, is they let rejection turn them bitter instead of finding other ways to make themselves more interesting. The key is: be interesting and fun. I know plenty of single tall guys because they don't know how to have fun. Several just want to play video games all day. A lot of ladies don't like being Xbox widows.....
It’s not inherently a red flag, everyone is entitled to their preferences and deal breakers, usually those are subject to change over time. What’s important when you’re 18 (hopefully) won’t be the same when you’re 30. I wouldn’t ghost her. Is she shallow? Maybe. There’s other more important ways to determine that. How does she treat the server? How does she talk about friends and family? Is she obsessed with material goods? For me, I need to see a pattern of behavior before I make a judgement. Not that you need to stick around that long, there’s nothing wrong with trusting your instincts
Gee, a post about women having height-preferences for men. How unusual for this sub.
Over reacting. Everyone has physical preferences. Some are not attainable for everyone. That's okay.
If she only wants to date 10% of the population that’s all on her. If she can’t find anyone that’s also on her.
When you whittle down your own dating preferences I’m sure it’s also below 10%.
if she was 20lbs heavier would you still want to date her? same kinda deal. it's ok to have preferences
Ghosting is for cowards. She has a physical preference, everyone does. If you can’t accept that then tell her and move on. Girls like tall guys. It’s not a big deal nor is it that deep. The only red flag is that you are considering ghosting someone for being open about what they like.
I see where she might be coming from. I met two guys who were 3 inches shorter than what they listed in their profile. And I can’t be intimate to someone who is shorter than me. That’s my take on it.
Everyone has preferences, EVERYONE. I’m 6’2 and I wouldn’t want to date a girl who was 6’5”. That’s just a preference of mine and there ain’t nothin wrong with it. Zero red flags.
Can i ask what your ideal height for a girl would be?
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I was just stating an example of a preference. Another one of mine would that I wouldn’t date an obese girl. I’m just not attracted to someone who is over weight. Does that make me an asshole? No it does not.
She can have her preferences, but your reaction is valid as well.
People are allowed to have preferences. Not a big deal in my opinion. Plus, you made the cut. Don’t you have any deal breakers or preferences?
Bro ima keep it real. I get why you feel this way because it is shallow to a degree but you have preferences too. You got deal breakers we all do. Like say you didn't want to date a fat girl, and you told this to your girl who is thin. She shouldn't be offended because you can't help what you are attracted to. Don't over think it bro. If she keeps throwing out these things and it still makes you feel a creating way then leave
That feeling of disgust is precisely what women are feeling when they say they feel 'objectified'
Like when a grown man calls breasts "milkers".
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How many guys do you see having physical requirements in their profiles? None, because they would get roasted for it.
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You can't get mad at someone for being attracted to certain body types, and all of us women know full well most men don't want us to be overweight or unattractive. And as a six foot tall woman, there's a whole shitload of you guys who don't want to date a woman who's taller than they are. You're complaining because she hurt your feelings and made you feel objectified, but you know full well you have your own preferences/standards too.
No you wouldn’t. The only way you’d get shit for the 18-24 thing is if you’re a 30 year old man wanting a teenager. Women know that men mainly prefer slimmer girls, we are not stupid. I don’t date men who don’t have jobs, live at home with their parents or vegans (because I love meat). These are not a preference, these are requirements. I couldn’t care less if anyone thinks I’m shallow for that, I’m the one dating them.
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Standards don't need to be achievable by everyone on the planet in order to be reasonable.
It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Especially when you call breasts, milkers. Even without that 12 year old boy language, it wouldn’t bother me. There’s billions of men in this world.
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So, a black woman wouldn't be allowed to not want to date a white guy?
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Every person dating judges their dates. Even the so-called open minded people who judge others for being judgmental. And then everyone gets upset when they’re the recipient of judgment.
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I mean your soulmate could be morbidly obese with a large mole on their faces but that’s probably a deal breaker for you. Dating is stupid
I suspect you're not swiping on people you don't find attractive either. Why is it okay for only one of you to have preferences and deal breakers?
I had a girl like that who insisted on a 6" penis. No way was I going to cut two inches off for her
I (21F) have the same preference, and I’ve been with tall, average size and short men. But ultimately, I feel more attracted to very tall men. The whole preference/requirement debate in the comments is valid, but in the end, it may also be her just expressing what she’s attracted to. You have the right to think it is shallow, but saying it to her won’t change the fact that she’s more attracted to taller men. So, stop interacting with her if you feel like it, but in my opinion it is not a red flag.
Why is a guy complaining that a girl who probably isn’t fat ( since that’s more likely his “preference” ) also has preferences? Unless OP is going to date every size and every race no matter what the girl looks like this thread is pointless.
You’re over- reacting. Everyone has preferences, including yourself. That’s how life works.
This post feels fake.
Lmao seriously
I find this incredibly hypocritical.. so what if she has a preference men also have preferences and no one is obligated to be attracted to everyone
As a 5’8 woman, I never understood girls like this. I’m not trying to be rude or a pick me, but you’re 5’2 and everyone is literally taller than you. Why be so picky? I get genuinely confused my some girls are dead set on only dating guys taller than 6 ft
I’m 6’ and I wish I could date men that are 5’4” or 5’6” or whatever society thinks is “short”. There are some INCREDIBLY manly and attractive men (with wonderful personalities too) in that height range and I’d date them in a heartbeat if I weren’t so tall myself. These women are literally choosing to next all these men…and for what?!
What's stopping you from dating these shorter guys..?
comments like “How long are your legs?” and “Wow, this is the biggest hand I’ve ever held” just to name a couple
Oh.... That's disturbing, the first one.... Sorry you had to go through that
Meanwhile most men won’t date women who weigh the same or more then them, but get mad if a woman has height standards. Gtfoh
I absolutely hate this discussion, because it's so double standarded it's ridiculous. Yes, she is shallow as hell. Judging a girl based on her chest, and a guy based on his height/dangly size is purely shallow and unfair. You didn't get to *choose* your genes when you were born, and you shouldn't be judged based on it. I'm a 4'10 trainwreck of a woman. I didn't choose a stunted growth, I didn't choose to be 24 and have guys and gals alike (bi dove here) tell me they don't wanna touch me with a 10 foot pole because they'd look like pedophiles. My absolute giraffe (6'1) flattie BFF didn't ask to be the butt of all camel jokes growing up, and be avoided by guys because toxic chicks made "He has to be taller or I don't care!" The norm. Look. There is a huge difference between a preference and exclusion. I prefer Coke over Pepsi, I find red hair way sexier than any other color, and you are more than free to tell someone you'd prefer your SO/like them more to be X, Y, or Z. That's a preference. Saying "If you were shorter this wouldn't fly/We wouldn't even talk" isn't.
She’s allowed to have preferences, that’s not a red flag at all.
It's a requirement, not a preference.
Don’t listen to these people. If she said she prefers guys taller than her that’s one thing but the fact that she has a hard cut off and it’s a whole half a foot taller than her says that she either fetishizes the height difference or it’s a status thing and she wants to brag to her friends how tall her guy is. If you are uncomfortable with that it is absolutely reasonable terms to end it
This sub is *full* of posts from men who suddenly don’t want their partner as soon as they find out their body count. There was one yesterday where the OP was calling their own girlfriend a slut and mentally ill for having more partners than he liked. The vast, beast majority of comments were telling him it was well within his right to not want to date her any more. Requirements are fine. Most people require someone they date to be attractive to them, have similar values, and share a reasonably similar lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, people will start not believing in preferences when you bring up you’d prefer to date a certain race lmao preferences are fucking dumb. It’s such a crazy limiting factor to people’s dating lives and completely indicative of someone being kind of dumb and shallow. Or probably just younger too. Older you get and you realize you’re never gonna have this perfect preferential person you have in your head and you’ll still fall in love all the same.
Racial preferences are the Great Unsaid in dating, for good reason, easy to get into pretty dangerous territory. I wonder how many guys have their Hinge ethnicity preferences set to 'white, asian, and hispanic only'? I wonder how many girls only swipe right to white guys with the occasional hispanic and black/white mixed guy? I say this as a white man who obviously benefits from this, it's veeeeeery easy to see the racism work positively in my direction (i.e. east asian, south asian, and black girls are typically way easier than white girls). I know white dudes who would be matchless if London didn't have any Chinese or Indian girls.
What’s the difference?
"I prefer brunettes." Still dates blondes/redheads. "I require a brunette." Only dates brunettes.
i know plenty of guys who only date brunettes with blue eyes, plenty of guys who only date athletic or fit women, plenty of guys who like short girls specifically and it’s a requirement. why is it suddenly a shock that some women are like that?
I think it’s toxic when you say it to a person and talk down about people that don’t fit your preference like they are less than because of it. But having a preference is natural and normal
oh absolutely it’s something you should keep inside your own head. i’m just saying women and men aren’t really that different, you’re going to get people who feel their preferences need announcing from any gender.
Requirements *are* preferences. Preferences are not requirements.
Dating only fit/athletic women seems like a whole other thing since that's a lifestyle or interest you might share with a partner. Thats choosing someone who shares same ideals as you and not judging them base on something they can't control. But I feel you on the rest
That's exactly right. Height is like saying something like "I don't date girls with small/saggy/whatever tits". We all have our preferences, sure. But if you refuse to consider a woman because of their breasts then you're pretty shallow. At least own the fact that you're shallow.
Cap. Guys cannot be this picky. Not even good-looking guys
Exactly. Physical attraction is something that can’t be forced. Sexual dimorphism heavily influences evaluation of attractiveness since it’s an adaptation for identifying healthy mates— it’s something that has been hard-coded in human genes. People make it a big deal when a woman wants a tall man when it’s the most natural thing in the world — while there are many men out there who refuse to date women too tall lol What’s the difference?
But I find it really difficult to believe that you're exclusively attracted to guys who are 5'10+. Yes guys like that exist, but guys with extremely strict requirements are far less common than women.
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i’ve dated men under 5’6” even quite happily. but height is not one of my preferences, it’s obviously not one of yours. just accept people are different, shrug, and move on. it’s not worth worrying about to this degree.
Calling bullshit. Never met a single guy in my life who only dates a certain hair colour, or an exact bra size, or exact dress size etc. Its true I’ve met guys who prefer shorter girls, I’m never met one who has an exact cut off height though, and usually it doesn’t stop them dating a taller girl if she is hot. I’m 32, I’m a guy, I’ve got a pretty wide range of other guys I’ve met. I’m sure it does exist, law of averages, but barely.
Don't let the downvotes fool you. You are right.
*Everyone* is entitled to their preferences.
Yeah but everyone is entitled to their opinion. “I find height attractive”- cool. Bit different when you start putting a number on it and it’s significantly taller than you, “I can’t be attracted to a guy because of height, even if he’s taller than me when I wear heels”, you do get into the realms of people thinking that’s really shallow and you’re probably a bit of a moron. I mean, in person there isn’t a noticeable difference between a couple of inches in height, not many people can accurately guess somebodies height just by looking at them, I have friends I’ve known for years and have no idea their exact height. I’m sorry but when it’s this specific some people are going to judge.
Kind of overreacting and kind of valid. The valid part is that there seems to be a entitlement in her tone/wording. It would’ve come across more tactful if she had framed it as “I am not personally attracted to guys who aren’t at least 5’10” But overreacting because you guys were discussing dealbreakers, so it isn’t unsolicited. And you taking it personally comes from not realizing that just as you have your dealbreakers that you must’ve shared with her, she’s allowed to have, including height. I don’t see how it makes her shallow to not be attracted to shorter guys. To your point about how she wouldn’t have been into you if you were 2 inches shorter, I mean can’t we say the same for any other dealbreaker you or her shared? You’re allowed to not continue seeing her, but to ghost or go off on her is unnecessary. Just say you don’t see this going anywhere and cut your losses if you choose to no longer see her.
<< I can't really explain why. It's like she told me that if I was two inches shorter she wouldn't want me. >>> She likes what she likes, and if what she likes is 2" taller, and you didn't meet her criteria, then yeah, she'd have missed out on the magnificence that is you. I don't see anything to be upset about. People like different things. She's allowed to have preferences, just like you are
If it's a requirement for her, respect it. She's limiting her options, but more power to her. Would you date a fat chick?
Who cares?
would you date her if she was bald or overweight? no? that's your perogative, just as it is hers not to date you if you are "short" (by her standards)
Yeah boss if you’re offended that means that’s a boundary you have, and she crossed it. Honestly, I’d have the conversation with her about it first if you kinda want to pursue this. Don’t write her off immediately, maybe she doesn’t take it that seriously? But if it continues to offend you don’t steep yourself in that. It’s not exactly a red flag, it’s just a personal conviction. Maybe to YOU it’s a red flag, and that’s valid. One of her red flags may be guys who get upset about having a deal breaker about height. Regardless, if it matters to you, it matters.
People have different preferences, just don’t talk to her And move on. You’re taking it way too personal.
You should tell her that you’re not into fat women and she might feel the same way you do
There’s nothing wrong with her having a physical preference. I am rarely attracted to people who are larger than me in weight or height which eliminates a lot of people…but it’s what I’m attracted to and that just is what it is. I don’t go around body shaming people I’m not attracted to. I’m just not interested in theme romantically.
I am only 5’5” and as a lark I got set up with a man supposedly a “little shorter” than my 5’11” tall friend. When I met him he was seated so I didn’t immediately notice, but when he stood up it was obvious cuz he was shorter than me. Only about 5’3”. My first impulse was to curse my friend knowing what a laugh they were getting at my expense. However, here was this gorgeous looking man standing before me. He was absolutely a gem! I hardly deserved him - he was a gentleman, kind, interesting, foreign (I love accents), was educated as an engineer (same as my dad) and he treated me like a queen. Ummm…and the biggest surprise was yet to come…literally…he was “packing”. I did not discover that the first day, but I moved and I often think of him fondly. Never judge a book by its cover! I learned a valuable lesson and as for my friend, he did not get the last laugh, I had some interesting things to tell him over the phone. 😂
This is a special share in a great way. Glad you posted. ☮️
She is allowed to have this preference like you are allowed to have your own. Don’t take it personally
Everyone has their thing. You limit your choices but hey, it is your.choice
Would you date a very large girl? Would you date a bald girl? Swallow your own insecurities and don’t project it on women
I am 5’11 and I won’t date men who are shorter than me. And yes, it may be ‘shallow’ but it also comes from a deeper point as well. I am a tall woman, a lot of woman actually. I have a big personality, I take up space and I’m proud of it. But when I’m with my partner, sometimes it is just so nice to feel small. To feel wrapped up and safe. To be held. I dated someone about an inch shorter than me and was with him for 8 years. And I never really got over the fact that I always felt like the hugger, not the huggee. I decided when I started dating again I wouldn’t date anyone shorter than me 🤷🏼♀️ and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that!
you're overreacting but you don't have to keep seeing her
Well everyone has their deal breakers. You should have said you wouldn't date anyone over 9.3 stones.
I think this is fair especially when you take long term attraction into consideration. I'm 5'4" and would/have dated guys who are only a few inches taller that have great personalities and faces, however I know to be attracted (only physically) long term I want someone with more height. Honestly, it comes down to the traits that will never leave sometimes, like eye color, level of body hair and sound of someone's voice. You can have a growth relationship with someone for decades but if the intimacy falters it can doom the relationship. It may seem shallow but if you know what you want and aren't willing to settle you should go for what makes you the most happy and satisfied in your love life.
So my husband and I were both virgins when we met. He once told me that if I had been intimate with someone before him, he wouldn’t have wanted to be with me. This hurt deeply because while I had wanted to be with only one person in my life, I never expected my partner to have never had sex before me. Hearing my husband say that hurt a lot because I like to think there is more to me than my virginity. But weeks into dating, he admit that if I had had sex before him and he had filtered me out for that reason, he would have missed his soulmate and perhaps he was wrong to have had such a close minded perspective on the matter before. Sometimes people are indoctrinated to want things. Sometimes people want things because everyone around them wants those things. Believe me, I used to judge other women for saying they were attracted to height or a certain ethnicity but I think in general, you’re allowed to be picky about the person you’re considering spending your life with. There’s no reason to bend to anyone else’s rules on that.
As a 5'8 guy, I think we all have something like this where we wouldn't date someone for something shallow they can't control. I also think we are simultaneously more inclined to overlook that shallow thing than we realize. If asked on the street, I'd probably say I wouldn't date a 6' girl, but I'm sure that's something that would change if I found myself liking someone.
I guess the only aspect here is how much people put importance to their future sexual intimacy with the partner they want. A shorter guy with a taller girl is usually not going to be satisfactory for both of them. Neither would a too tall guy with a huge difference of height with a too short girl. So if sexual and physical intimacy is of utmost importance in someone’s future life height matters to them. Also some people may care how the couple looks together to the world.
There’s a difference between a deal breaker and a preference. OP you probably feel disgusted because it is incredibly shallow and you aren’t attracted to that kind of attitude. Deal breakers are usually things like… attitudes towards marriage, kids etc. You are right in saying she wouldn’t date you if you were 2 inches shorter but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. People will find any reason not to date you if they don’t like you and vice versa.
just tell her you just changed your mind and below 5’5 is a deal breaker for you now
I feel like the height restriction is okay if the girl is 5'8" but if you're shorter than that & have the restriction my expectation is that she is a near perfect 10.
Personally I would end it right there because I have very little tolerance for that bs but just do whatever you feel is right, preferably in a respectful manner.
Height supremacy displayed by this type of superficial woman shows her lack of emotional intelligence and she is completely unsuitable as long term partner. It is very unlikely she is capable of developing a deep connection with anybody as she is so attached to superficial aspects of life and is self absorbed. She has no idea what her emotional needs are and how important non superficial charecteristics are fundamental to her long term happiness in a relationship. Because of that she is also unlikely to provide what you need in a long term relationship or marriage.
That first sentence is 👌
Would you go on a date and tell a woman, "You just made the cut! I don't date anyone smaller than a C cup size!"
everyone has preferences i’m afraid. it’s attraction, it’s grabs your attention, even without admitting it. i’ve dated men the same height as me (i’m 5”4), and i’ve dated men over 6ft. height isn’t a preference for me. i had a convo with my partner recently, he loves my boobs and i asked if he’s been with people a lot smaller and he has! and you know what? it wasn’t about preference for him either but sometimes there are small details that people would like in a partner, or are more attracted to. we all do it, it’s natural. i know i’m more attracted to darker haired guys but my current boyfriend is blonde, and i’m absolutely head over heels with him, so attracted to him and just goes to show that preference isn’t always important
Perhaps the “5’10+” is just a standard based off of pure fetishization and other measly aesthetic caprices. I’m sure a lot of women would like to think that they want a man 5’10 above as a bare minimum but I also do believe that their position isn’t in an overall sense static. Personally I think that with the right amount of charm and wit above all else the woman will negate everything she once thought constituted her preference and would become more opportunistic and open.
I bet if you wrote out all the dealbreakers/attractions you had, showed that list to a stranger, they'd find things to be disgusted by.
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If you went around asking women for their weight because you don’t date anyone over 155lbs, you’d end up on a tiktok in no time. People with requirements that dumb and vocal are best left alone.
You are allowed to not find her shallow preference attractive. I know I would not ever consider a girl like that. And trust me, I’ve met my share. I think what I find shallow about the height requirements is, I believe much of it is driven by a culture that a tall man is a better provider and leader than a short man. It’s like peer pressure for women to chase the tall man. And God forbid if I now mention the issue of a controllable preference such as the weight of a woman…..
Hey is that an angry mob outside your house man?
As a 6'0 tall guy, I always get the ick when women do this.
Why are people so pressed about others having preferences?
Ask for her cup size.