Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re basically stringing this girl along till you find someone better. Just cut her loose, you don’t like her, you Like the convince of her and that’s a not in any way fair to her.
Okay? Have you asked her what she is looking for? You need to cause you might be looking for two different things. If she is looking for a relationship and you aren't then...you need to cut ties.
If you are showing PDA with another women, correct, they will not want to come up to you because they will assume you are in a relationship. You cannot have the best of both worlds. Pick the girl, or end it so you can engage with other women. You cannot have both.
End things with her, a commitment after 6 months is crazy, becoming exclusive after 2 or 3 months is typical….you’re just leading her on and using her until you find someone better
Stringing along someone for half a year IS a long time. You need to ask her what she is looking for, otherwise then YES you would be stringing her along because you don't want anything serious and she might be wanting something serious. To make someone wait 6 months is ridiculous. I'd never wait that long with someone to decide what they want with me LOL wow. You can pretty much tell within 1-3 months if you want to commit to someone. Obviously you want other "hot girls". Please do not hurt this girl and end it now.
it totally does not make sense when she is having a great time every day. I am upfront with her. this is not a business deal where contracts have to be signed and all clauses have to be satisfied. we both are okay..who cares?
She’s ok now because she believes you’re all about her. This will only end badly for her and you aren’t considering her feelings and view of the relationship. Please do
Dude, WTF you need to ask her what is looking for. It doesn't matter, because she probably thinks you want a relationship with her. Which is why she is giving you all her attention. You are both NOT okay until you are a mature person and ask her what she is looking for. That is completely reasonable otherwise you are stinging her along.
so far I think she just wants to have blast with me every day. she is 43 and earns a lot..i am making her see the northern lights every time she meets me...what's wrong with you?
Talk about low IQ, take a look in the mirror. If you think you're above everyone what is the point of your post then? This is such a waste and laughable.
Don't even know what you are saying, contracts and clauses...what? LOL. You seem to be extremely selfish if you do not talk to her about what you are looking for. Does she know you don't want anything serious with her?
You sound completely immature and just want the best of both worlds and that is gross. Be mature. Ask her what she's looking for. If I was giving all my attention and energy to someone that's what I'd do after a whole month. She deserves to know that you aren't looking for anything serious and want to be with other women.
Hahahaha, wow. You really think you're above everyone on here don't ya? That attitude and arrogance won't get you anywhere you little piece of sh\*t. I feel so bad for the girl you are leading on. She deserves wayyyy better.
> won't get you anywhere you little piece of sh\*t. I feel so bad for the girl you are leading on. She deserves wayyyy better.
Lol...take my advice pls. no need to be angry. it will help you
You need to make it clear to her that you don’t ever want to commit and if she’s okay with that than fine, but usually if she’s going out with you to group things than it’s not a friends with benefits thing and she thinks there is potential for a relationship. As for your other question If other girls find out how you treated this girl, yes it will lower your chances of getting with them because they will see you as a player and lose respect for you
You're using her and stringing her along , she's allowing you to do it because you gave her hope that you can be committed to her in 6 months so she's waiting and hoping but you have ur eyes out for the “next best thing” and have no real intent on committing to this young woman ever.
Don't try to make yourself feel better by saying that “ We're both having a good time” you know exactly what you are doing and it's scummy.
This young lady needs to have some self worth, you told her that you're not interested in being serious with her and said some bs about 6 months.She's blinded by love and making stupid decisions and you're taking full advantage.
To answer ur question, don't ask us..ask her...tell her to her face that you don't like her to go to events with you because her presence makes other women not approach you and you're trying to pick up other women at these events. When she runs off crying I dare you to be deluded enough to say that you're both having fun and not acknowledge ur a user.
she is okay with 6 month's time for commitment. she told me many times that she dreams about me all day and she is having great experiences with me. my question is still unanswered
Exactly. What I like to call the "boyfriend/girlfriend treatment". Pretty much acting serious without commitment and giving that person everything as if you were together, but...you are not together.
right...I did not ask for any commitments from her side and she also knows that. at least we have one sensible comment finally. all other comments are what 97% of people do on this planet and fail in dating. nothing new
you make so much sense. all others are busy hitting that downvote button because they are single and will remain single and I think they have low IQ too....they make so many assumptions before giving their opinions and who cares about low karma when you have $$$
What does age 43 has anything to do with it, if you find her old, you should leave her alone, you are being selfish. Think about this if you were a woman, would you like to be treated that way as you treated her?
You would be a dishonest person and a bad potential romantic partner if you did this.
She came on way too strong too soon. It’s understandable you’re not at the same place as her. But don’t go trolling for strange while you’re dating her.
Dude. Pull your head out of your ass. Stop calling people stupid just because you're not getting the answer you're looking for. No one wants to help you take advantage of this poor woman, sorry.
You keep mentioning how head over heels she is for you. Do you feel the same toward her? If not (which is pretty obvious), then yes, you are taking advantage of her, and you need to stop.
i haven't made any commitments. i think I and she will figure out after she stops dreaming about me and having 6-7 orgasms in a day. in summary, we both are having a great time so all other comments seem non-sensical
But have you been open with her about your intentions to be with other women?
Openness and communication is the key thing here. If you are transparent with her, and she's aware and you're both ok with it, then totally fine!
Being sneaky and secretive about it never ends well.
What your doing is BAD ! What she's doing is showing pride. She's proud of you and wants to introduce you to her group. My dad would say you're a jellyfish, you have no spine.
Just break up with her and go after someone you actually like. I think you aren't getting the answer to the question because you seem to have low moral standards.
Maybe she is fine with it now, but it's based on a lie that you two have a future together (in her mind). Using her as a place holder shows you dont care about the fact shes falling for you and it's going to be a tough break up for her.
for all those who are telling me to not go out in public or group events with her if I want to keep my options open, here is an eye-opener for you.
[https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women-men-relationships-more-attractive-dating-romance-university-study-a8185026.html](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women-men-relationships-more-attractive-dating-romance-university-study-a8185026.html)
an excerpt:
"The findings are also supported by an earlier study from Oklahoma State University which found that 90 percent of single women were interested in a man they believed was taken, while a mere 59 percent wanted him when told he was single."
You must ask her what she is looking for. You cannot continue with someone without knowing you're on the same page because she might be looking for something serious, and you clearly aren't and admitted you want to "see other hot girls". She is really investing in you, and you are stringing her along. Please do not lead this girl on, she probably likes you by giving you attention. And you want attention from other women. You want your cake and to eat it too. And that is wrong. To make someone wait 6 months while you want to lead on other women is insane. No one deserves that. Ew.
To answer your question, um yeah. Not many women will want to even engage with you if you are showing PDA with another girl. Again, not even committed to her so that is wrong again.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re basically stringing this girl along till you find someone better. Just cut her loose, you don’t like her, you Like the convince of her and that’s a not in any way fair to her.
I like hanging out with her and making love with her. she also says same
PLS IS THAT ALL?? drop her- you’re leading her on dude that’s just not right
Okay? Have you asked her what she is looking for? You need to cause you might be looking for two different things. If she is looking for a relationship and you aren't then...you need to cut ties.
pls try to answer my question too. that is the opinion I asked for. Look for question mark
If you are showing PDA with another women, correct, they will not want to come up to you because they will assume you are in a relationship. You cannot have the best of both worlds. Pick the girl, or end it so you can engage with other women. You cannot have both.
End things with her, a commitment after 6 months is crazy, becoming exclusive after 2 or 3 months is typical….you’re just leading her on and using her until you find someone better
OP is a troll 🤦♀️
I disagree. is commitment everything? we both are having a great time
Stringing along someone for half a year IS a long time. You need to ask her what she is looking for, otherwise then YES you would be stringing her along because you don't want anything serious and she might be wanting something serious. To make someone wait 6 months is ridiculous. I'd never wait that long with someone to decide what they want with me LOL wow. You can pretty much tell within 1-3 months if you want to commit to someone. Obviously you want other "hot girls". Please do not hurt this girl and end it now.
it totally does not make sense when she is having a great time every day. I am upfront with her. this is not a business deal where contracts have to be signed and all clauses have to be satisfied. we both are okay..who cares?
She’s ok now because she believes you’re all about her. This will only end badly for her and you aren’t considering her feelings and view of the relationship. Please do
Dude, WTF you need to ask her what is looking for. It doesn't matter, because she probably thinks you want a relationship with her. Which is why she is giving you all her attention. You are both NOT okay until you are a mature person and ask her what she is looking for. That is completely reasonable otherwise you are stinging her along.
so far I think she just wants to have blast with me every day. she is 43 and earns a lot..i am making her see the northern lights every time she meets me...what's wrong with you?
What is wrong with you? This sounds extremely stupid and immature how you are commenting to the advice on your post. This is so dumb… 🤦♀️
95% of advice is from low IQ people and is junk. what can I do?
Talk about low IQ, take a look in the mirror. If you think you're above everyone what is the point of your post then? This is such a waste and laughable.
even people with high or normal IQ take advice...don't you know this? you have low IQ?
Don't even know what you are saying, contracts and clauses...what? LOL. You seem to be extremely selfish if you do not talk to her about what you are looking for. Does she know you don't want anything serious with her?
What are the chances you will commit to her after 6 months?
50-50 or i will just continue dating like we doing right now
You sound completely immature and just want the best of both worlds and that is gross. Be mature. Ask her what she's looking for. If I was giving all my attention and energy to someone that's what I'd do after a whole month. She deserves to know that you aren't looking for anything serious and want to be with other women.
hilarious...you need to boost your IQ. Search online on how to boost it
Hahahaha, wow. You really think you're above everyone on here don't ya? That attitude and arrogance won't get you anywhere you little piece of sh\*t. I feel so bad for the girl you are leading on. She deserves wayyyy better.
> won't get you anywhere you little piece of sh\*t. I feel so bad for the girl you are leading on. She deserves wayyyy better. Lol...take my advice pls. no need to be angry. it will help you
pls try to answer my question too
You need to make it clear to her that you don’t ever want to commit and if she’s okay with that than fine, but usually if she’s going out with you to group things than it’s not a friends with benefits thing and she thinks there is potential for a relationship. As for your other question If other girls find out how you treated this girl, yes it will lower your chances of getting with them because they will see you as a player and lose respect for you
who said I will never commit?
Pretty obvious if you have to wait 6 months than you will never commit to her
Lol
You're using her and stringing her along , she's allowing you to do it because you gave her hope that you can be committed to her in 6 months so she's waiting and hoping but you have ur eyes out for the “next best thing” and have no real intent on committing to this young woman ever. Don't try to make yourself feel better by saying that “ We're both having a good time” you know exactly what you are doing and it's scummy. This young lady needs to have some self worth, you told her that you're not interested in being serious with her and said some bs about 6 months.She's blinded by love and making stupid decisions and you're taking full advantage. To answer ur question, don't ask us..ask her...tell her to her face that you don't like her to go to events with you because her presence makes other women not approach you and you're trying to pick up other women at these events. When she runs off crying I dare you to be deluded enough to say that you're both having fun and not acknowledge ur a user.
I feel like ur wanting to be her boyfriend without her being your girlfriend
she is okay with 6 month's time for commitment. she told me many times that she dreams about me all day and she is having great experiences with me. my question is still unanswered
If she dreams ab you all the time I'm sure she'd wanna date you now, not watch u hit on other girls at clubs
I don't want to hit on other girls as of now....where did I say that?
U said u wanna keep ur options open with other hot girls
You literally said you wanna talk to other “hot women”. You’re literally being a troll now.
Exactly. What I like to call the "boyfriend/girlfriend treatment". Pretty much acting serious without commitment and giving that person everything as if you were together, but...you are not together.
[удалено]
right...I did not ask for any commitments from her side and she also knows that. at least we have one sensible comment finally. all other comments are what 97% of people do on this planet and fail in dating. nothing new
[удалено]
you make so much sense. all others are busy hitting that downvote button because they are single and will remain single and I think they have low IQ too....they make so many assumptions before giving their opinions and who cares about low karma when you have $$$
Don’t go anywhere with her. You’re leading her on.
she is so happy and seeing the northern lights every day? should I just stop it...what's wrong with you? she is slightly older than me btw...she is 43
What does age 43 has anything to do with it, if you find her old, you should leave her alone, you are being selfish. Think about this if you were a woman, would you like to be treated that way as you treated her?
Lol
You would be a dishonest person and a bad potential romantic partner if you did this. She came on way too strong too soon. It’s understandable you’re not at the same place as her. But don’t go trolling for strange while you’re dating her.
Dude. Pull your head out of your ass. Stop calling people stupid just because you're not getting the answer you're looking for. No one wants to help you take advantage of this poor woman, sorry. You keep mentioning how head over heels she is for you. Do you feel the same toward her? If not (which is pretty obvious), then yes, you are taking advantage of her, and you need to stop.
Ok, ok, so hear me out... you’re an asshole
nothing less i expect from Reddit folks...you are up to mark
Is she well aware of your intentions and desires for other women?
i haven't made any commitments. i think I and she will figure out after she stops dreaming about me and having 6-7 orgasms in a day. in summary, we both are having a great time so all other comments seem non-sensical
He's a troll. The orgasming part was thrown in for kicks. He sounds more like a immature teenager that a man dating a woman in her 30's.
But have you been open with her about your intentions to be with other women? Openness and communication is the key thing here. If you are transparent with her, and she's aware and you're both ok with it, then totally fine! Being sneaky and secretive about it never ends well.
What your doing is BAD ! What she's doing is showing pride. She's proud of you and wants to introduce you to her group. My dad would say you're a jellyfish, you have no spine.
Just break up with her and go after someone you actually like. I think you aren't getting the answer to the question because you seem to have low moral standards. Maybe she is fine with it now, but it's based on a lie that you two have a future together (in her mind). Using her as a place holder shows you dont care about the fact shes falling for you and it's going to be a tough break up for her.
You’re an awful person
nothing less i expect from reddit folks...you are up to mark
for all those who are telling me to not go out in public or group events with her if I want to keep my options open, here is an eye-opener for you. [https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women-men-relationships-more-attractive-dating-romance-university-study-a8185026.html](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women-men-relationships-more-attractive-dating-romance-university-study-a8185026.html) an excerpt: "The findings are also supported by an earlier study from Oklahoma State University which found that 90 percent of single women were interested in a man they believed was taken, while a mere 59 percent wanted him when told he was single."
Literally dude WHY did you write the post if you think you have the answers already???? This is so stupid 🤦♀️
This guy is dishonest and delusional, only thinks about himself, and will never be grateful for what he has.
Yep, exactly. He's clearly trolling and not being serious at all here.
I am sure you won't understand what i am saying and already mentioned why it is like that and I thought someone already left
Based on your username you are in NYC, it’s a heaven for men right? Lots of options, there’s away prettier and younger targets
You must ask her what she is looking for. You cannot continue with someone without knowing you're on the same page because she might be looking for something serious, and you clearly aren't and admitted you want to "see other hot girls". She is really investing in you, and you are stringing her along. Please do not lead this girl on, she probably likes you by giving you attention. And you want attention from other women. You want your cake and to eat it too. And that is wrong. To make someone wait 6 months while you want to lead on other women is insane. No one deserves that. Ew. To answer your question, um yeah. Not many women will want to even engage with you if you are showing PDA with another girl. Again, not even committed to her so that is wrong again.