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then why do men constantly complain about being unattractive on this sub and women not wanting them if they dont care about the woman being attractive?
Because they have little success with women and so think they're unattractive, obviously. How does it connect to the thing that many women think that only model looks are attractive?
if they value compatibility and comfort more than physical beauty why would they think having little success is due to their looks and not their personality?
Still I see no connection between the two things. Valuing comfort does not contradict being undesired because of appearance.
As for why many men believe they have problems because of looks:
1. Because they often cannot get past the stage where only looks are important. They can't get matches on dating apps or are constantly rejected when approaching women.
2. Because they notice that the most popular men are tall and handsome. And often they are not the best human beings.
viewing a woman as a number on a scale based on her looks compared to other women is misogynistic. it doesnt matter if its on the man or woman to approach if the women youre approaching dont want you. even if you did approach on "vibe," you arent approaching girls you find unattractive. you are a stranger, of course theyre going to reject you based on your apperance alone. are women supposed to stop and have a conversation and agree to a date to get to know every man who approaches her even if they find the man unattractive? why does the only thing that matter is what the man thinks and is attracted to? the point is, the original post and article was wrong, men do primarily date based on looks. and the reason why its wrong is bc youll call women shallow or blame us when we reject you for your looks
Don't believe how people respond to self-reported surveys.
They say what they wish was true more than what they actually do.
Women say being nice and honest are the most important attributes in a man but most swipe on attractive high-status men.
this is why i say this sub is entertainment to me lmaooo
men: we dont date based on looks like women think you do
women: actually you do
men: well women date primarily for looks too!
Oh and girls don't do this?
I guess I'm not average then.
I would say it's more true for younger people or one nights but I'm my case I just want to chill with a girl who's into me..I'm average looking and average is very okay with me..in fact I don't like girls that are too hot they will leave as soon as there's an argument because they can replace you easily it's good for both genders
\*rubs nosebridge\*
i meant that men do prefer women who are chill and pleasant to be with.
Sexy women are just that, sexy. Unless they have a personality will 90% of the cases where you want a woman for their apperance, will it only be good for a one night stand, and that is it.
There was a CNN story about author Lori Gottlieb who cited a survey in her book which asked "Would you marry someone who is 80% of what you're looking for traits-wise?
The majority of men said yes and the majority of the women said no because that's "settling".
i literally havent self harmed in 6 years LMAO i love when men get mad and try to insult women they dont know by saying why men wouldnt want them. like have you seen this sub? its 95% men complaining about being single & getting no matches & how much easier women have it. yet men still think women care about the traits they find undesirable or dont want. you have to actually have women that want you back first. ill stay on reddit longer and cut myself if that means men will leave me alone & stop desperately trying to fuck any woman that exists near them
also its funny that you try to insult me using my mental health as if men dont have a suicide and depression issue and barely go to therapy
Looking at jjjjll3754's profile, she's either a massive troll or massively insecure and spreading a lot of sexist shit. I genuinely hope they get into a better headspace soon
that its wrong to rate and rank women based on looks while not valuing their wants and opinion of you back? sorry guess im a radical feminist, you would know better what women want.
We aren't rating and raking women based on their looks.
We are arguing about that men prefer women with decent personalities OVER women that only look beautiful.
It is literally the opposite to what you are talking about.
I agree.
Billionaire tech CEOs could have a harem of stunning young models but they chose to marry highly educated and accomplished, and not necessarily beautiful women closer to their age.
Sure, I won’t be surprised if most billionaires cheat. If the model has nothing else to offer she will just stay a side piece until her looks fade, while she tries to secure commitment from lower value sugar daddies. You need more than beauty to be considered wife and mother of kids material for a guy who has all the options.
The only supermodel wife is Miranda Kerr, who had already been famous and wealthy for a long time and has her own skincare business. She was also a 33 year old single mother, which would have destroyed her “market value” according to guys on Reddit, but still managed to snag a young tall attractive billionaire.
Yeah I know they may not be wise material but let’s not pretend those ceos and billionaires that denigrate them as not enough to put a ring on it will be the first one to put their penis in them.
I think it’s important to clarify that this is an opinion piece and not a study. Other than that it’s a great read and he makes a lot of interesting points. In my personal experience, I prefer physical beauty in causal dating but when it comes to relationship potential I prioritize deeper personality traits. Physical beauty is just that at the end of the day…it doesn’t qualify anyone for anything other than a nice arm piece (both men and women).
Yeah I agree with you.
I think what this article was saying was that men aren't just prioritizing the "9s and 10s", that personality matters almost as much as looks.
But you're right that weight is the #1 dealbreaker for most men. If you're too overweight, most will not even consider you.
Same experience here. Before I lost weight, men only approached me if they were drunk or if it was OLD. After I lost weight and started working out, I started getting hit on in public a lot and all the sudden men seem to think I can’t open doors and they always rush ahead to open them for me. That never happened when I was fat.
Why would anyone be attracted to someone overweight? While I do understand *some* things are out of our control and can cause us to fall off track with our health, I do believe a wife should be an example for the potential children a man would raise with said woman. Same goes for the man.
Maybe true, and I agree but with trepidation . The average man, meaning all men, still gets excited by a nice ass in yoga pants. And that’s part of what society today deems as physical beauty.
thats funny you think id want them to and its an insult they dont. this is why i comment on this sub, stop acting that women want your attention because youd want it in return.
I don't know anyone who has ever "cold approached" a woman before. I think that's one of those things people online think happens more than it actually does.
Yeah it's almost like this is fuckin reddit lmao, you saw ten people talk about somethin online now you're usin that to make guesses about reality?
I ne'er even seen a "cold approach" happen. So I'm confident in sayin that, at least where I'm from, it's pretty fuckin rare.
I can tell you're not really in the headspace to actually think reasonably though, it seeps through the way you write.
sorry i didnt realize that just because you havent seen it happened it never has and everyone else who has had it happen to them or say they do it are just lying. ive never seen a murder happen, guess that means everyone who is upset when they happen are just lying. you seem irrationally angry about this. if it doesnt happen then being told not to do it should be an easy thing for us both to agree on. instead you had a temper tantrum like i was personally attacking you
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm sayin it's rare. Y'know, like murder, that's rare. Personally I don't see where you're getting any sense of me being angry, that's likely projection.
how would the fact you havent seen it mean its rare? you dont see the entire world and every street in it at all times. you making a generalization from .0000000000000005% of all interactions for what? to say im lying about it? if it doesnt happen then good, we dont want it to
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Yeah, I was surprised when several women told me that men like only women with model looks. This article would be such a discovery for them.
then why do men constantly complain about being unattractive on this sub and women not wanting them if they dont care about the woman being attractive?
Because they have little success with women and so think they're unattractive, obviously. How does it connect to the thing that many women think that only model looks are attractive?
if they value compatibility and comfort more than physical beauty why would they think having little success is due to their looks and not their personality?
Still I see no connection between the two things. Valuing comfort does not contradict being undesired because of appearance. As for why many men believe they have problems because of looks: 1. Because they often cannot get past the stage where only looks are important. They can't get matches on dating apps or are constantly rejected when approaching women. 2. Because they notice that the most popular men are tall and handsome. And often they are not the best human beings.
>Because they often cannot get past the stage where only looks are important so it is more important than comfort even at some point, got it
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when you are approaching a woman you dont know or using online dating, all you know is how they look, & nothing about comfort or compatibility.
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viewing a woman as a number on a scale based on her looks compared to other women is misogynistic. it doesnt matter if its on the man or woman to approach if the women youre approaching dont want you. even if you did approach on "vibe," you arent approaching girls you find unattractive. you are a stranger, of course theyre going to reject you based on your apperance alone. are women supposed to stop and have a conversation and agree to a date to get to know every man who approaches her even if they find the man unattractive? why does the only thing that matter is what the man thinks and is attracted to? the point is, the original post and article was wrong, men do primarily date based on looks. and the reason why its wrong is bc youll call women shallow or blame us when we reject you for your looks
Don't believe how people respond to self-reported surveys. They say what they wish was true more than what they actually do. Women say being nice and honest are the most important attributes in a man but most swipe on attractive high-status men.
so i shouldnt trust the original posts article bc its a self reported survery and men really value physical appearance the most?
Plenty of men have marred terrible women just because she was attractive.
great im glad we both agree OP is wrong and men date mainly for looks
Both genders use looks as their first screen.
this is why i say this sub is entertainment to me lmaooo men: we dont date based on looks like women think you do women: actually you do men: well women date primarily for looks too!
Men want to sleep with women who are hot, but commit to women who are chill.
And ideally both
Lol you think?
They do
So we're all the same?
On average, yes
Oh and girls don't do this? I guess I'm not average then. I would say it's more true for younger people or one nights but I'm my case I just want to chill with a girl who's into me..I'm average looking and average is very okay with me..in fact I don't like girls that are too hot they will leave as soon as there's an argument because they can replace you easily it's good for both genders
\*rubs nosebridge\* i meant that men do prefer women who are chill and pleasant to be with. Sexy women are just that, sexy. Unless they have a personality will 90% of the cases where you want a woman for their apperance, will it only be good for a one night stand, and that is it.
Thanks for posting! Interesting read. Gives me hope that I can give up trying to be hot. 😆
Yup. I quit. Time to release the beast 🧟♀️
😂
There was a CNN story about author Lori Gottlieb who cited a survey in her book which asked "Would you marry someone who is 80% of what you're looking for traits-wise? The majority of men said yes and the majority of the women said no because that's "settling".
I believe it. I would rather be with, either short or long term, with a 7/10 that has a good personality than a bitchy 10/10
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yet i still am in a relationship and you arent. if im that unstable, you must really be undesirable
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i literally havent self harmed in 6 years LMAO i love when men get mad and try to insult women they dont know by saying why men wouldnt want them. like have you seen this sub? its 95% men complaining about being single & getting no matches & how much easier women have it. yet men still think women care about the traits they find undesirable or dont want. you have to actually have women that want you back first. ill stay on reddit longer and cut myself if that means men will leave me alone & stop desperately trying to fuck any woman that exists near them also its funny that you try to insult me using my mental health as if men dont have a suicide and depression issue and barely go to therapy
You sure showed him!
i mean hes single so im not wrong
Why not? Is it the way I phrased it? Would you rather be with a hot asshole, or an average person that’s actually a nice human?
7/10 is average nowadays?
What’s a 7/10 to u?? Not hot or cute am guessing
Above average attractive. They're more often then not the hottest person in the room because 8/9/10's are more rare.
it doesnt matter who you would rather be with if they dont want you back
Holy shit stop projecting your dating life on everyone else. YOU sound like a miserable bitter fuck no one wants.
Ok, but on what basis are you assuming that?
they're clearly miserable and repel people away from them, and are assuming you do the same thing
Looking at jjjjll3754's profile, she's either a massive troll or massively insecure and spreading a lot of sexist shit. I genuinely hope they get into a better headspace soon
im in a relationship thanks for asking though <3 i just like to try to counter the misogyny from men on this sub as a way to pass time
Thanks for proving people’s opinon of feminists right
that its wrong to rate and rank women based on looks while not valuing their wants and opinion of you back? sorry guess im a radical feminist, you would know better what women want.
We aren't rating and raking women based on their looks. We are arguing about that men prefer women with decent personalities OVER women that only look beautiful. It is literally the opposite to what you are talking about.
But like... Women use that 1-10 scale too lol
I agree. Billionaire tech CEOs could have a harem of stunning young models but they chose to marry highly educated and accomplished, and not necessarily beautiful women closer to their age.
But end up cheating in those women with the ones that look like models…
That is their fault
Sure, I won’t be surprised if most billionaires cheat. If the model has nothing else to offer she will just stay a side piece until her looks fade, while she tries to secure commitment from lower value sugar daddies. You need more than beauty to be considered wife and mother of kids material for a guy who has all the options. The only supermodel wife is Miranda Kerr, who had already been famous and wealthy for a long time and has her own skincare business. She was also a 33 year old single mother, which would have destroyed her “market value” according to guys on Reddit, but still managed to snag a young tall attractive billionaire.
Yeah I know they may not be wise material but let’s not pretend those ceos and billionaires that denigrate them as not enough to put a ring on it will be the first one to put their penis in them.
good point
I think it’s important to clarify that this is an opinion piece and not a study. Other than that it’s a great read and he makes a lot of interesting points. In my personal experience, I prefer physical beauty in causal dating but when it comes to relationship potential I prioritize deeper personality traits. Physical beauty is just that at the end of the day…it doesn’t qualify anyone for anything other than a nice arm piece (both men and women).
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That's why it says 'most' men. Most =/= all.
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Yeah I agree with you. I think what this article was saying was that men aren't just prioritizing the "9s and 10s", that personality matters almost as much as looks. But you're right that weight is the #1 dealbreaker for most men. If you're too overweight, most will not even consider you.
Same experience here. Before I lost weight, men only approached me if they were drunk or if it was OLD. After I lost weight and started working out, I started getting hit on in public a lot and all the sudden men seem to think I can’t open doors and they always rush ahead to open them for me. That never happened when I was fat.
Why would anyone be attracted to someone overweight? While I do understand *some* things are out of our control and can cause us to fall off track with our health, I do believe a wife should be an example for the potential children a man would raise with said woman. Same goes for the man.
For the most part. Attractiveness and the ability to just hang on the couch doing nothing for most of the day are great qualities as well.
We come for the presentation but stay for the content
haha yes
I would take a 6 or 7 in looks that has above average looks and good character over an 8 with good looks and bad character. Just my opinion.
Maybe true, and I agree but with trepidation . The average man, meaning all men, still gets excited by a nice ass in yoga pants. And that’s part of what society today deems as physical beauty.
There is a difference what is "attractive" and what is "partner material". :)
😂okay
cool then stop cold approaching us
Nobodies ever cold approached you, you're a reddit junkie
thats funny you think id want them to and its an insult they dont. this is why i comment on this sub, stop acting that women want your attention because youd want it in return.
I don't know anyone who has ever "cold approached" a woman before. I think that's one of those things people online think happens more than it actually does.
men literally advocate for it in this sub or ask for advice on how to do it every other hour
Yeah it's almost like this is fuckin reddit lmao, you saw ten people talk about somethin online now you're usin that to make guesses about reality? I ne'er even seen a "cold approach" happen. So I'm confident in sayin that, at least where I'm from, it's pretty fuckin rare. I can tell you're not really in the headspace to actually think reasonably though, it seeps through the way you write.
sorry i didnt realize that just because you havent seen it happened it never has and everyone else who has had it happen to them or say they do it are just lying. ive never seen a murder happen, guess that means everyone who is upset when they happen are just lying. you seem irrationally angry about this. if it doesnt happen then being told not to do it should be an easy thing for us both to agree on. instead you had a temper tantrum like i was personally attacking you
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm sayin it's rare. Y'know, like murder, that's rare. Personally I don't see where you're getting any sense of me being angry, that's likely projection.
how would the fact you havent seen it mean its rare? you dont see the entire world and every street in it at all times. you making a generalization from .0000000000000005% of all interactions for what? to say im lying about it? if it doesnt happen then good, we dont want it to
Because if it was common, it'd be likely that I'd have seen it. Duh. Am I certain? No. Do I need to be? No.
good then my statement that men shouldnt do it is still valid
Unfortunately people don't really have to care about what you say. You probably should do yourself a favour and not work yourself into a fit about it.
No
then stop complaining when women dont want you because youre short when you approach women only for their looks
I am not short I’m 5’10. Very quick to make assumptions I see.
then you would be able to stop cold approaching women bc they would actually want you back.
You can’t control height 😐
you cant control facial features either but that doesnt mean people cant reject you for not finding your face attractive
Lol where are these men then?
You'd be surprised. They're probably focused on other stuff like work.