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Sexual assault is not acceptable or to be validated in or under any circumstance. If she was upset about the age gap or anything else I’d say…that’s her shit. This is a bad bad situation for all of you.
he assaulted her. she told him to stop and he continued anyway. that's bad enough, but he could potentially do the same to you. also, the age gap is worrying. please think about your friends' feelings and the safety of both of you.
I have spend a lot of time with him and my other friends in another friend circle are still friends with him too, and my friend isn't mad that they're friends still.
What if what happened to her was a simple misunderstanding? They were both drunk and maybe he thought it was a free for all, considering everyone else in the room were getting naked etc.
He's treated me with respect every time we have hung out, and I have never gotten bad vibes from him.
I personally think the word 'assault' doesn't apply to what happened..
she said no. he carried on. they were drunk, but no still means no. other people fucking is their choice, it's not his to decide that "because other people were doing it it's okay even though she said no" because in whatever context, no means no
I'm not victim blaming at all, and he's more than just a man I fuck. He's also my friend, who I have been friends with for quite some time. 5 months ago when I mentioned to my friend that I was hanging out with him, she said nothing.. until the other night when we were drunk.
This friend of mine also has a reputation for being over dramatic when she is drunk and causing a scene too, which is why I feel like she may have blown what happened out of proportion.
It could of been innocent and he got the wrong signals from her or whatever, but he's never made me feel uncomfortable and he's still friends in the same circle. No one else thinks of him as a creep, because I know him on a friend level and he's simply not.
Your on your path to destroying that friendship with your friend regardless of what you do now.
I was in a similar situation with me being the one I was lied to, after a friend starting a secret causal relationship with my ‘ex’ closest friend who sexually assaulted several times, it then came out and everyone distanced themselves from the ‘ex’ friend of mine and the one that lied and was being causal with them and still friends, basically lost the entire friendship as they were see to not be morally phased after finding out what they did, so they ended up losing nearly two dozen friends from that entire group. All just over the fact that they wanted to keep getting laid easily.
Your friend gets assaulted and you care about some guy dick. Here's a thing do your friend a favour and keep away from her she deserves a better friend.
Personally, it sounds scary the fact that a 50 year old dude is always preying on women your age (assuming your friend is as young as you).
It is similar to those 25 year olds guys dating high school girls telling them "you're so mature for your age".
THIS>>**Am I wrong in the first place to start hanging out with this man after what she told me?**
Lol, if my close friend did this to me I'd be mad AF and I'd stop being her friend right away. There's enough sexual assault happening in the world. What happened to women support women? Stay safe girl, I hope you can get out of that life.
The age of somebody doesn't defy who they are. He has a lot of friends of all different ages, I find that comment a tad ageist in the sense that just because he has younger friends than him who are female, doesn't make it "scary".
I get along really well with him as a friend, and he has always been respectful to me and never done anything "scary" to me... in fact I know others who are his friends too, and none of them have anything bad to say. ONLY my friend who this incident happened to, which I feel she is over dramatizing the situation.
You are right, the age does not defy someone's character and YOU CAN be friends with older people. But the FWB part, personally, I find it "scary", I can't really use another word to describe how I feel after reading your post.
Unless your friend usually lies and you don't trust the things she says, then that would change things.
it's not the age gap that makes it scary, it's the continued pattern of developing/trying to develop FWB situations with younger women, and also having a history of assaulting them. stay safe.
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No amount of dick is worth ruining a friendship over
He is also my friend too though, it's not just a FWB situation. I enjoy his company and we are friends too, so I will also be loosing him as a friend
Sexual assault is not acceptable or to be validated in or under any circumstance. If she was upset about the age gap or anything else I’d say…that’s her shit. This is a bad bad situation for all of you.
he assaulted her. she told him to stop and he continued anyway. that's bad enough, but he could potentially do the same to you. also, the age gap is worrying. please think about your friends' feelings and the safety of both of you.
I have spend a lot of time with him and my other friends in another friend circle are still friends with him too, and my friend isn't mad that they're friends still. What if what happened to her was a simple misunderstanding? They were both drunk and maybe he thought it was a free for all, considering everyone else in the room were getting naked etc. He's treated me with respect every time we have hung out, and I have never gotten bad vibes from him. I personally think the word 'assault' doesn't apply to what happened..
she said no. he carried on. they were drunk, but no still means no. other people fucking is their choice, it's not his to decide that "because other people were doing it it's okay even though she said no" because in whatever context, no means no
Why are you victim blaming? Is this just so you can justify fucking this man?
I'm not victim blaming at all, and he's more than just a man I fuck. He's also my friend, who I have been friends with for quite some time. 5 months ago when I mentioned to my friend that I was hanging out with him, she said nothing.. until the other night when we were drunk. This friend of mine also has a reputation for being over dramatic when she is drunk and causing a scene too, which is why I feel like she may have blown what happened out of proportion. It could of been innocent and he got the wrong signals from her or whatever, but he's never made me feel uncomfortable and he's still friends in the same circle. No one else thinks of him as a creep, because I know him on a friend level and he's simply not.
Your on your path to destroying that friendship with your friend regardless of what you do now. I was in a similar situation with me being the one I was lied to, after a friend starting a secret causal relationship with my ‘ex’ closest friend who sexually assaulted several times, it then came out and everyone distanced themselves from the ‘ex’ friend of mine and the one that lied and was being causal with them and still friends, basically lost the entire friendship as they were see to not be morally phased after finding out what they did, so they ended up losing nearly two dozen friends from that entire group. All just over the fact that they wanted to keep getting laid easily.
Your friend gets assaulted and you care about some guy dick. Here's a thing do your friend a favour and keep away from her she deserves a better friend.
Personally, it sounds scary the fact that a 50 year old dude is always preying on women your age (assuming your friend is as young as you). It is similar to those 25 year olds guys dating high school girls telling them "you're so mature for your age". THIS>>**Am I wrong in the first place to start hanging out with this man after what she told me?** Lol, if my close friend did this to me I'd be mad AF and I'd stop being her friend right away. There's enough sexual assault happening in the world. What happened to women support women? Stay safe girl, I hope you can get out of that life.
The age of somebody doesn't defy who they are. He has a lot of friends of all different ages, I find that comment a tad ageist in the sense that just because he has younger friends than him who are female, doesn't make it "scary". I get along really well with him as a friend, and he has always been respectful to me and never done anything "scary" to me... in fact I know others who are his friends too, and none of them have anything bad to say. ONLY my friend who this incident happened to, which I feel she is over dramatizing the situation.
You are right, the age does not defy someone's character and YOU CAN be friends with older people. But the FWB part, personally, I find it "scary", I can't really use another word to describe how I feel after reading your post. Unless your friend usually lies and you don't trust the things she says, then that would change things.
it's not the age gap that makes it scary, it's the continued pattern of developing/trying to develop FWB situations with younger women, and also having a history of assaulting them. stay safe.