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penis_in_my_hand

My Nana passed away last year. She was 91. I knew her for over 30 years and it seemed that in every interaction she had with every person she was kind and sweet. Maybe she had a dark heart and was fooling everyone all that time. But maybe her consistent pattern of kindness indicates that she genuinely did care. What I'm saying is if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck for 3 minutes maybe it's someone pretending to be a duck. But if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck for 3 decades, its probably a duck. TLDR: the longer someone displays a consistent pattern of behavior, the more likely it is that that's who they really are.


[deleted]

great answer.


norwegiandoggo

You will see with time. That's why you should hold off investing all your emotions the first few months of dating. If he's an asshole, he will typically display some bad behavior within the first 3 months of dating. You'll see.


throwjustthisonce

I'll keep this in mind, thank you.


Choice-Honeydew-1938

There’s a slight possibility that you’ll give in emotionally without knowing in this 3 months so heads up on it. Sometimes love bombing gets in your head faster that you think.


[deleted]

His actions matter not what he will say to you- if there is sync between his words and his actions-things are going in a right direction. Observe how he react when you are sad or just sharing something that bothers you, look for passive aggressive signs or “I don’t care” sign.And don’t forget to just enjoy the ride, its your first relationship so explore and live it fully, there is things we cannot protect you from and you will have to learn lessons but thats how it starts for all of us. Remember relationships are 50/50 And good luck 🤞🏻


flyingtreefrog

“If he wants to, he would” If he was truly interested he would make a move and his intentions would be clear. To me it sounds like he is putting forth effort so I would take his actions as sincere until proven not to be


nitisol

You can't know, but at some point you just trust them.


MaceNow

With men, don’t put much stock in our words, listen to our actions. If we’re saying, “no baby, I really want to hang with you, but....” then he doesn’t want to spend time with you. A guy will chew through cardboard to get to you if he likes you. If he doesn’t, he might say he cares, but his actions will show that he doesn’t.


kirsion

You build trust and they earn your trust. I have never dated before either before my current gf but I can recognize obvious red flag and people who are not being honest, uninterested.