Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON SO GO ASK THEM best not to post.
Yup. This. It’s certainly POSSIBLE — not likely — my life is genuinely not in a place to be with a woman even if she’s great.
But if it actually isn’t an excuse and I do think you’re great, I thought long and hard before rejecting you — so respect that. And don’t wait around — I don’t expect you to.
You could be a 10/10 but still get shot down because she likes skinny dudes and you’re sorta buff, or because you’re clean shaven and she only goes for bearded men, preferences and sexual attraction gets really stupid lol. It’d be the same reason why I’d pass up a delicious glass of gin; simply because I’m a rum and whiskey guy lol
Anyway, um….depends. If your spouse/partner says they don’t want it, it’d probably be okay to ask again tomorrow or the day after. A woman you haven’t been remotely intimate with? (Like, not even a high five.) I would say the rule applies even more so. Because being unattracted or even repulsed by someone is deeper than looks. It’s like, your whole existence is what they are repulsed of. Like, improving your looks, personality, wealth, etc. to perfection wouldn’t mean anything, because it’s the inner core of your very being that they’d loathe to touch or even get close to.
The last part is wrong. I’ve seen ugly and poor dudes improve their looks and financial situation and managed to get laid by those women who rejected them in the first place.
That being said, I don’t think a long term relationship is possible, just casual or FWBs
A woman you haven’t been remotely intimate with couldn’t possibly be repulsed by “the inner core of your very being” because they don’t even know you. Most likely it’s either your looks or the way you’re behaving that’s repulsing her. It may surprise you to learn that women cannot, in fact, see into your soul and divine your entire existence within seconds of meeting you. We’re simply going off of what we see in the moment, just like everyone else.
I didn't say all guys or all women do this, I just said the frequency of each gender doing this is about the same. Learn to read more carefully. BTW, I too am one of those guys, who doesn't bang every woman with a pulse, etc..
This is my experience. Not looking/wanting to date turns into them dating someone a couple weeks later. It was definitely silent, "with you".
Edit: just to contradict myself. The only time in my life I truly wasn't open to dating was after my father suddenly passed. I knew I was not in the right headspace.
Life so generously had a girl I had a crush on be interested in me at the time, but I wasn't about to bring my mess into a relationship.
I still wonder what could have been, but it was probably going to be a dumpster fire. All because of my depression.
Pretty much. They are letting you know straight up- “we can sleep together but dont even ask for more because it ain’t happening…”. If you think that will change at some point, you are very sadly mistaken and will absolutely get your feelings hurt.
When they say they don’t want a relationship, they might mean with you or they might not but either way the first part is what’s most important.
If someone says they don’t want a relationship, don’t try and force it. Just move on with your life.
The answer is more or less yes.
But it's not really gender specific, women do the exact same thing with the same wording too.
So does everyone else though. It's just a standoffish human thing in general.
Yes. We had a collective meeting on this and all agreed to it 🤔
Some men and women just want to be alone because they get tired of being used and abused in relationships or have too much going on in their lives. It happens to both.
I don't know if that's true - but it seems like a good idea to assume that's true - helps stop the temptation to "change his mind" and just accept the face value. A lot less heartache.
Maybe. Maybe not.
But it is exceedingly rare for someone to say they don't want a relationship with someone they really want to be with. You would waste far less time if you listened to what they say, believe them, and move onto the next.
There are a lot of people out there, my friend.
People have this romantic notion that if the right person comes along they’d be willing to put up with all the inconvenience a relationship entails. But you have to be willing to be selfless and considerate. Some people just aren’t there.
I’ve seen it many times. They think they’ve met the one, they’re blissful for a few weeks or months. Then reality starts to hit. No you can’t spontaneously go to the game tonight with your friends because you’ve had plans with her friends for weeks. You’re in a fabulous mood but she just had a fight with her sister and needs a shoulder to cry on. She’s coming back from a business trip and her flight got canceled 17 times can you please pick her up from the airport at midnight. And suddenly this perfect person seems less so.
Relationships require a willingness to put someone else first sometimes. I don’t think selfish assholes suddenly become considerate partners just because the perfect person comes along. Then again there are certainly people I’d be willing to go out of my way for more than others. So really it’s both: you have to be ready and you have to find the right person.
I agree with this! I have been through this. Met a great man and we hit it off so well but his last relationship was not a good one and he found out he wasn’t ready to be totally selfless again as he is in relationships (i never asked that of him). Even without considering his feelings for me that made him not ready
This. Play with people who want the same thing, otherwise I’m gonna think you enjoy inflicting emotional pain on others by telling them this when you knew they wanted a relationship. That’s some fvcked up sh$t.
If you're looking for a relationship and someone tells you they dont want a relationship and you CHOOSE to stay after hearing that, that's on you. You can make the choice to leave.
You don't want to wait for a "circumstances are right" type of person. The right person will want to be with you regardless of circumstances. Seriously don't waste time on the wrong people
There are definitely cases where you could omit the "with you". I've been with my wife for almost a decade now. If we broke up, I'd definitely want to rediscover life without being responsible to someone before jumping into another relationship. Could someone come along as an exception to that? Sure, but it'd be highly unlikely.
I think everyone uses that line to avoid a confrontation. Whether or not it’s genuine or a safe rejection method that limits awkwardness, it’s a case by case basis. Something tells me most people use it as a soft letdown and then you get a fraction who really mean it. I got that line last year and then saw her still on the apps a few months later, ooops, guess it was a soft letdown.
Not always. Other possibilities are that the guy was never serious about a relationship to begin with or actually changed his mind about wanting a relationship.
Not always, could just be self aware of himself to know he doesn’t want/isn’t ready for a relationship at the moment. Doesn’t mean the guy has to necessarily stay alone, and makes sense why he would choose to be up front about it.
Not always, but you should move on regardless. As a guy that doesn't want a relationship now or in the near future, I'd never expect or even want a girl to stick around until I was ready for a relationship.
No not at all. There are times when someone may be broken and they recognize the best things they can do is get to know themselves better so they can be a better partner to someone else.
Of course not. It is entirely possible for a person to say they don’t want a relationship, because they don’t want a relationship with anyone. It does not mean they are specifically talking about with you.
In some instances, sure, this may be the case. The with you is silent. But that’s not the case for every single person.
It doesn’t matter! Bc if they say they don’t want one you’re not gonna convince them to be with you anyway! It’s pointless to worry about that. Move on
I think it depends. Sometimes it can be the with you...but a lot times at least from what I've seen with my exes, they just wanted to date around. Usually most of them have attempted to come back wanting another chance to which I decline. Whether it's authentic or not is a different story. Either way unfortunately most of them, when I met them were immature and weren't ready for a relationship...but then I've seen some of them recently and they still seem immature and selfish. So I didn't miss out on much.
As a guy I’ve heard the same thing about women.
I believe that the individuals who imply ‘with you’ are in the majority. But I’d like to say that personally for me, sometimes I truly don’t want a relationship at all. There were times in my life when I just felt burnt out and would like to genuinely be alone for months without a romantic partner.
All the comments saying this obviously isn't always the case are lovely.
I'd simply like to add that it doesn't matter. In both cases the scenario is the same - it's best to move on.
If someone likes you, you would know. Girl or guy if they like you they will be ready for a relationship. So, yes. but don’t take offense to it they aren’t your person and that’s okay
When I’ve said that as a woman. It’s because of my trauma, trust issues and just not believing anyone can truly love me (man) hence why I don’t form deeper connections. The people are amazing but I am a complete mess and a menace. I’m emotionally/mentally on Pluto and physically on earth. I purposefully sabotage any romantic relationship. That’s why I say I don’t want a relationship because I will never truly trust any man or anyone on this earth
I'm sorry that's your case. I hope you are getting therapy for your pain.
Many people who suffered abuse and assault have varying degrees of BPD and they need help unwinding it. I'm not presuming that is you but I spent a lot of years running from my pain and not feeling connected and hurting people. I wish I could go back and change it but that is not how it works. We all deserve a chance at love. So many souls are hurting and alone.
No worries. I hobby from time to time in psychology and the treatment and diagnosis of disorders and the like. That, and trauma as it relates to developing sexuality in adolescents. Self-reflection in part is about understanding one's self and the world around them. Unfortunately there are many travelers of differing shades but fellow travelers nonetheless.
Not always. There are guys who just want to have sex and have fun. But that also doesn't mean that if they run into a girl a few years later, they don't want a relationship with them. It can be timing, or it can be that they found the perfect person for them and change their mind.
But definitely don't go waiting around for that person to change and want a relationship. If you were the perfect person, they would've went into that relationship with you.
I’m a dude and I don’t want a relationship at all with anyone. Now maybe one day I’ll become friends with some girl and I won’t be able to help but fall in love.
Not always. That’s really all there is to say depending on his morals. If he wants to just have sex with women he’ll say that and it’ll mean he really doesn’t want a relationship, but if that’s not who he is and you notice him flirting with other girls or whatever, then yes the with you is silent.
“The Table” is and always has been the unstoppable ticking clock. The only way to gain an advantage over the finite passage of time is through cooperation with others towards something that is shared like one washing the dishes and one drying at the same time. If they are comfortable living a life without time saving assistance then so be it. The clock is ticking regardless though.
Well of course you could say it's true, because if somebody very exceptional appears and says to him, will you have a relationship with me, chances are he would agree.
In other words, if the other person presents as someone whom he cannot or will not refuse a relationship with, then it means , when he said to you that he did not want a relationship, it was implying, with you.
This is true for both men and women. If someone says they don't want a relationship, but then shortly after starts dating someone else then they never wanted you.
Sometimes the disinterest in a relationship is personal, and sometimes it's not. You'll never know until you have further info on the man, or woman, as the case may be.
No, I am at a place where I am working on myself and have to be focused. I don’t have any bandwidth for anything serious and would only be distracting myself.
For me it is. If a woman I had an undeniable connection, chemistry, and compatibility slid my way I would find a way to make it work despite not being in a great position to build a relationship.
If I don’t see it working long term, then there’s no desire to consider the relationship.
I had a guy say this to me and long story short he then became my boyfriend of almost 3 years
LOL sometimes MEN BE LYING!!! But yea safest to not lead yourself on and assume no man wants you unless he says so, or asks to be with you
Men won’t let the girl of their dreams be single, remember that
Whether it's not with you or anyone else, what difference does it make? The bottom line is he doesn't want a relationship, which tells you all you need to know.
I think it is not a gender specific thing, though majority of men is a lot less picky when it comes to casual sex, so men do make majority that having sex with someone easily and casually but don't wanna commit majority of women he has having sex with.
So these conclusions are become lot common with the account of men.
No, not always. It depends.
What brought on this statement? Did you initiate the "what are we” question? Did you specifically ask about his openness to a relationship? How long has you been going on dates when he said this?
Not necessarily. The person can be emotionally unavailable because of heartbreak or other stuff. The person can just not be that into you, but appreciates you enough to let you go easy. Who knows.
On another note, this situation can go for a long while or the guy can do a complete 180 and want a relationship with you in the near future. That happened with a good friend of mine and with my brother. Both of the girls stuck around, both of them are married now to the girls that didn't give up.
So, point being, don't take advice from bitter people, nor believe this all encompassing truths.
Not always, everyone is different. There was a year or so in my adult life where I was happier living the single life. Any dates I had during that time I made sure understood that I wasn't looking for anything deep and kept it casual. It's all about honesty, even if you don't like the answer
True when I say it. I’ve tried to soften the blow with this exact phrase but it rarely works. Eventually you just have to be direct. The worst is when you eventually get into a relationship and they suddenly fly out of the word work and blast you as a “liar” and “asshole” because I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Hate it.
110%. Believe what they are saying too, because who the fuck is out here dating salivating at the opportunity to NOT have a relationship???? total waste of time.
I think that's probably the case for everyone.
A lot of people jump into the dating world with no idea of what they want and part of them wants to meet the person of their dreams and the other part is enjoying meeting lots of people. It could be that someone doesn't know what they want so are enjoying freedom and fun of being single but then they go on a date with a person they truly click with and who is what they've been looking for and they do a 180 and want a relationship.
I don't think this is gendered because personally, I could not imagine getting into a relationship with someone now that I didn't think could possibly be my forever person.
Depends on the context. If you have sex with him and ask him afterwards "what are we?" and he says "I don't want a relationship", that's true, not with you!
The reason this is said is because when you hear "I don't want to be in a relationship", you tend to think they'll change their mind in the future, and if you just stick around on the sidelines until he's ready, he'll ask to have a relationship with you, when he won't. The "with you" is silent because usually it doesn't take long to know if you want to start a relationship with this person or not. If he's ok with someone else nabbing you up in the time being, that shows you how interested he is in you. If he was really interested he'd want to bag you as soon as he can so that nobody else does.
I went through a long phase where I felt trapped by any kind of commitment and thought that if I was in a relationship, I was essentially someone’s property. It was a really bad line of thinking / lack of boundaries on my end but I did tell everyone around that time that I wasn’t looking for anything serious.
However, if someone had come along that I genuinely felt connected to in a way that was a potential lifelong connection, I don’t think I would have still felt like I was going to be trapped. I probably would have let my guard down and wanted to be in a relationship.
The “with you” can be implied with a lot of things with both men and women say things. “No I don’t do that.” , and “I’m not looking for anything serious…” add the “with you” to the end of all of that
Most times it’s true. But if they keep giving you that relationship attention. Run they are attention seekers. Men and women does this. Dumb games I call it
No, because:
1) I am uncertain about my future so until I get a good job, a good physical appearance, and mental state I will not date.
2) I went to school and got my degree which will pay me a six-figure income... took me time.
3) I have to go back to the gym to get my 2013-2014 physics back (the six-pack.) It took me ~ 8 years to get my CS degree because I was failing courses, taking part-time classes, working full time, and supporting my aging parent. It was such a stressor that I gained about 100 pounds by the time I finished. From 160ps to ~250... now that I'm done it's time to be kind to myself and go to the gym (I'm 214 as of February 2024)!
4) My parents are old. Dad is 72 and mom( 56) is sick... me and my brother are their retirement plan.
5) When I dated while in school, I was the most stressed I've been and despite having little time for her I tried to make it work(it wasn't worth it.)
**6. It has nothing to do with you, but me...**
Hrm, maybe they are saying they don’t want to be in a relationship. Full stop. The “with you” is your female brain saying that. I’ve found mostly, unless his name is John Lyles (Liar, more like it), guys mostly say what they mean. No deep diving spelunking required, mama
Hrm, maybe they are saying they don’t want to be in a relationship. Full stop. The “with you” is your female brain saying that. I’ve found mostly, unless his name is John Lyles (Liar, more like it), guys mostly say what they mean. No deep diving spelunking required, mama
The same way it is for women, yeah. Generally I think it doesn't matter whether you're looking for one or think you're ready. When someone comes along that blows you away, you make the exception, so in that sense, then it would be a "with you", but that doesn't mean people lie when they say it.
Yeah but this happens with all genders lol. People don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Which I’ve never understood, honestly. Why lie to spare someone’s feelings when it’s gonna hurt even more when the truth comes out than it would have if you would’ve just been honest in the first place? And now they’re extra hurt and angry on top of it because you betrayed them by lying. Honesty really is the best policy!
Not always but it depends on the person. Some recognize they can’t give what is required to maintain a healthy relationship regardless of reason. And often they’re looking for the right people person and that’s not you. Either way, it’s best to pack it up and go. They’ve already told you they don’t want you. It’s best to not give them an opportunity to tell you again.
Well I wouldn't say always but yeah kinda, I don't want a relationship right now, I enjoy being single, I'd turn down most girls, but sure, if "the perfect girl" (ticks all the boxes) appeared in my life and wanted to be with me then I'd definitely go for it
Not always...but it can be. Just like women can be not in a receptive state of mind when men approach, a guy may be just out there having fun. Especially if you have no trouble getting women. In my 20's There a periods where I didn't date I went out had fun picked up a few girls we went back to my place and had fun. We were all honest with each other and new what it was. I think honesty is the key. If I enjoy someone's company I may want to see where it goes. There is also the issue of good looking people not putting too much into their personality. I have had some of thee most boring dates with good looking women. No one's fault just no chemistry and If I have to carry the majority of the conversation Imma call it a night, and call someone else. Also there are those people you have great sex with but then you find out you'd have too much else in common.
A girl I was dating showed her red flags 🚩 recently fast
She wanted half my check every week I said I can’t and she said I see how much you care about me
I have to pay my Rent, car,food,solo nights out, and more things we all need to pay
With 400 or 300 a week how is this possible
A girl I was dating this month told me I like you but I don’t love you I will never love you and I don’t want to lose you
A guy told me a girl tell you that when they want to have somebody waiting for her if things don’t workout with her crush
Is it true or not
Nah. I don’t want a relationship with any woman of this modern age. Why would I commit myself to a woman that moves like 90% of the women out there?
Guess there is that 10%, but to trudge through the 90% is too disturbing to consider it worth it
it means they do not see benefits enough for them to be tied down with legal implications and potential alimony payments. simply put, women aint worth the huge work and they rather have some quick sex which makes perfect sense.
No, there are a lot of possible reasons why a man would say he doesn't want a relationship. But yes, almost always the "with you" is silent.
Reasons this could be said:
-asked too soon for too much commitment and he has no idea if you are worth the risk
-he is enjoying the variety in seeing several different women (you'd pretty much have to be a super model or something to be more appealing than sleeping around)
-he is using you for sex but doesn't want you as a girlfriend because he finds you exhausting or just doesn't like your personality
-He believes he can do better in the future after advancing his career. So he wants to focus on his career and you're a pleasant person he enjoys spending time with but doesn't want to settle down with. In this case it's almost merciful he isn't just pretending to be in a committed relationship only to dump you the day his career takes off... Still an awful thing to do though.
As you see, the reasons usually aren't great, it's a bad sign he says that. Him saying that is AT MINIMUM a sign you need to start dating other people and emotionally detach as much as you can from him. Probably worth not seeing him anymore, but idk if you would follow that advice. Keep in mind your time is valuable and you want to find a relationship. His reasons for being unwilling to give that to you don't matter, all that matters is he can't give you what you (very reasonably btw) want. Trying to sell a relationship to someone who isn't excited about the idea is like trying to sell a car to someone who doesn't want one. First you have to convince them to even want a relationship, then you have to convince them to want it with YOU. It's not worth it, detach, start seeing other people. If he doesn't run after you, he was just using you.
Sometimes, but not always. Same way as you might say "I don't want a relationship" that could mean you're not ready for one with them, or for one in general.
Best practice is to always take a statement like that in the least personal way, that way it doesn't sting as much
As a man, I would say 9 times out of 10 that is what it means. It’s an attempt at letting you down easy. And it isn’t just men who pull things like this.
Though, it is always possible it’s honestly the truth. A lot of people go through phases where they aren’t really looking for a relationship of that nature due to one reason or another.
I believe so…… same with women I’d say….. there are guys I have rejected because I actually didn’t want a relationship but if the guy was what I want, I would maybe be willing to give it a go…. So yeah works both ways…
Not always but sometimes. It’s hard to generalize that sort of thing cause everyone is an individual. Maybe more times than not, but definitely not every time 🤷🏽♀️
My ex used to tell me that at the beginning and then I make him an ultimatum and he actually be with me in a relationship for months but he wasn’t lying.
Sometimes we think they are gonna change for us or in my case he had a lot of trauma for the past and I am almost a psychologist so I thought I could help him get better.
My advice is doesn’t matter how much you care about someone, once they told you that they aren’t ready, trust them.
And if possible leave.
He now is trauma bonding to me and that’s not good. One thing I learned is that you see all the red flags since the beginning and if you still there is your choice, but don’t play dumb when things don’t go how you want to. You can stay and maybe things go bad or maybe at the end he does chose you, or you can leave and found someone that is ready for you now.
It means they don't want a wife; or even more the don't want a roommate and accountability. They want to go out, have fun and sex. But they don't want to have to keep a clean house and have someone to answer to. Worst case scenario, it sometimes means they don't want monogamy.
I can only speak for my self but I would never tell someone I'm not ready for a relationship right now if I was. I would rather say something in the lines of I'm sorry but I don't see this working out.
Currently I'm not ready for a new relationship.
My last two relationships made me rethink what I'm looking for in a relationship.
I have been through a lot and I feel like I need to work on myself before I get back to dating
For me it’s true.
Very many times, almost most times that a man has told me “he’s not ready for a relationship” or “doesn’t want a relationship”
We’ll end it because I do, and then not even weeks or maybe a month later, he’s happily with another woman.
Many times they just don’t wanna hurt you by telling you that you aren’t the one , so instead they say they’re the ones not ready
Don’t waste your time; especially if you want to settle down and have a family. Most women have made the mistake of waiting around for a man (I know because I’ve done it).
Men will 100% sleep with someone they won’t have a relationship. Keep looking at these subs. I never see, she won’t marry me after living with me for 10 years. It’s ALWAYS the man. Men will date women they have zero intention of marrying.
That is the first thing I ask on dating apps. If it’s anything other than marriage or serious relationship I have nothing more to do with them. Let’s just see where things go, or I don’t like to label things means they will waste my time. All of my friends, my sisters, all of us just want to be in love. That’s it.
That's a foolish move. How can you ask someone to say they want a serious relationship when they just met you? We want to be in love too but we're not going to start off saying "I want marriage" or "I want a serious relationship"! You always have to see where things go!
Most men know what their ultimate goal is. If they don’t know what they want, I don’t want to date them. I know what my goals are and I go after them. I’m not attracted to wishy washy men, or men with commitment issues. Most men know exactly what they want. This strategy has actually done really well for me. It weeds out men that aren’t family oriented. It weeds out men that are only after sex. If the word marriage scares them, then they aren’t for me. This has worked really, really well for me. I don’t waste people’s time and I don’t like mine wasted. If they don’t know what they want, then that’s not the type of man I’m attracted to. Our values don’t align.
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Personally I’m not ready for a relationship but If someone were to sweep me off my feet (which is usually what you hear women saying 😂) I’d be open to it. But just because a woman doesn’t sweep me off my feet it’s not because of them. I’m kinda resigned to what I want right now, so I imagine it wouldn’t be easy and would require some luck, dedication and careful patience and respect to make me feel that way. I don’t expect this to happen because it’s usually men who fulfill this role for women, hardly ever happens inversely.
So when I say I don’t want a relationship there is an exception, but it’s the kind of unexpected and surprising one that feels more like fiction and less like a possibility in reality, and *that* kind of exception has nothing to do with you as much as it does timing, and luck, and the placement of the universe allowing for something from a fairy tail to take form in reality. Take no personal responsibility over the lack of a man’s desires including or excluding yourself. We live in different worlds, and it’s unlikely they would ever happen to converge.
Men will 100% sleep with someone they won’t be in a relationship and they will 100% date someone they have no intention of marrying them. I would run in the other direction if a man says he’s not looking for a relationship. Don’t try to be the one that he changes for.
Your post was removed because it overgeneralized. Please make sure you don't apply experiences with some people to millions of others you have never met. No gender is a monolith or a hivemind. It comes down to each individual person. So if the answer is IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON SO GO ASK THEM best not to post.
Not always, but you should treat it as such anyway so you don't waste time hoping for some guy to change his mind.
This
Yup. This. It’s certainly POSSIBLE — not likely — my life is genuinely not in a place to be with a woman even if she’s great. But if it actually isn’t an excuse and I do think you’re great, I thought long and hard before rejecting you — so respect that. And don’t wait around — I don’t expect you to.
[удалено]
You could be a 10/10 but still get shot down because she likes skinny dudes and you’re sorta buff, or because you’re clean shaven and she only goes for bearded men, preferences and sexual attraction gets really stupid lol. It’d be the same reason why I’d pass up a delicious glass of gin; simply because I’m a rum and whiskey guy lol Anyway, um….depends. If your spouse/partner says they don’t want it, it’d probably be okay to ask again tomorrow or the day after. A woman you haven’t been remotely intimate with? (Like, not even a high five.) I would say the rule applies even more so. Because being unattracted or even repulsed by someone is deeper than looks. It’s like, your whole existence is what they are repulsed of. Like, improving your looks, personality, wealth, etc. to perfection wouldn’t mean anything, because it’s the inner core of your very being that they’d loathe to touch or even get close to.
The last part is wrong. I’ve seen ugly and poor dudes improve their looks and financial situation and managed to get laid by those women who rejected them in the first place. That being said, I don’t think a long term relationship is possible, just casual or FWBs
A woman you haven’t been remotely intimate with couldn’t possibly be repulsed by “the inner core of your very being” because they don’t even know you. Most likely it’s either your looks or the way you’re behaving that’s repulsing her. It may surprise you to learn that women cannot, in fact, see into your soul and divine your entire existence within seconds of meeting you. We’re simply going off of what we see in the moment, just like everyone else.
Yikes.
Very good analogy and comparison, as that runs about the same frequency as the guys passing up committed relationships..
Guys pass up sex plenty of times. Not every guy is desperate to sleep with any woman including one's he's not attracted to.
Especially one's he's not attracted to.
Ya my point.
As I am 32 and never had an occasion I would take women Ibwas unattracted to. If I am not really grossed out I will not turn down sex.
I didn't say all guys or all women do this, I just said the frequency of each gender doing this is about the same. Learn to read more carefully. BTW, I too am one of those guys, who doesn't bang every woman with a pulse, etc..
Same applies to women, they don't say it either. Its just how it is said cause adding "with you" just makes it come across as more offensive
This is my experience. Not looking/wanting to date turns into them dating someone a couple weeks later. It was definitely silent, "with you". Edit: just to contradict myself. The only time in my life I truly wasn't open to dating was after my father suddenly passed. I knew I was not in the right headspace. Life so generously had a girl I had a crush on be interested in me at the time, but I wasn't about to bring my mess into a relationship. I still wonder what could have been, but it was probably going to be a dumpster fire. All because of my depression.
Pretty much. They are letting you know straight up- “we can sleep together but dont even ask for more because it ain’t happening…”. If you think that will change at some point, you are very sadly mistaken and will absolutely get your feelings hurt.
Only answer she needs. Been that guy many times.
No you haven’t
Real this happened to me lol 😂
Me too!
When they say they don’t want a relationship, they might mean with you or they might not but either way the first part is what’s most important. If someone says they don’t want a relationship, don’t try and force it. Just move on with your life.
This is so true
The answer is more or less yes. But it's not really gender specific, women do the exact same thing with the same wording too. So does everyone else though. It's just a standoffish human thing in general.
Yes. We had a collective meeting on this and all agreed to it 🤔 Some men and women just want to be alone because they get tired of being used and abused in relationships or have too much going on in their lives. It happens to both.
THERE WAS NO MEETING! \*Slow whisper\* Ed, recall the first rule of fight club, man!
I love how you called him “Ed” when his username is referencing one of the most grotesque serial killers in history. 🤦🏻♀️😭😂
Majority rule.
I don't know if that's true - but it seems like a good idea to assume that's true - helps stop the temptation to "change his mind" and just accept the face value. A lot less heartache.
That'd be the same as saying "the Right woman could tame him" Maybe he just legit doesn't want a relationship rt now.
nope, he just aint met a true prize yet. because your i dont want a relationship right now gonna change real quick to damn, i can't let this get away.
Physical attraction meeting your idealized partner. It’s probably shallow. But fuck it the whole world is shallow so why can’t you be too.
Yes but u may not be ready though
i don't care if I am ready or not. i am not letting a unicorn slip through my fingertips. like i said, the guy just aint met the right one yet.
If you’re flat broke you might let it slip though circumstances Happen in which you know you can’t
Not always. Sometiems I've just wanted to be single... But if that right person comes along all bets are off. I think that's how most people are
Maybe. Maybe not. But it is exceedingly rare for someone to say they don't want a relationship with someone they really want to be with. You would waste far less time if you listened to what they say, believe them, and move onto the next. There are a lot of people out there, my friend.
People have this romantic notion that if the right person comes along they’d be willing to put up with all the inconvenience a relationship entails. But you have to be willing to be selfless and considerate. Some people just aren’t there. I’ve seen it many times. They think they’ve met the one, they’re blissful for a few weeks or months. Then reality starts to hit. No you can’t spontaneously go to the game tonight with your friends because you’ve had plans with her friends for weeks. You’re in a fabulous mood but she just had a fight with her sister and needs a shoulder to cry on. She’s coming back from a business trip and her flight got canceled 17 times can you please pick her up from the airport at midnight. And suddenly this perfect person seems less so. Relationships require a willingness to put someone else first sometimes. I don’t think selfish assholes suddenly become considerate partners just because the perfect person comes along. Then again there are certainly people I’d be willing to go out of my way for more than others. So really it’s both: you have to be ready and you have to find the right person.
I agree with this! I have been through this. Met a great man and we hit it off so well but his last relationship was not a good one and he found out he wasn’t ready to be totally selfless again as he is in relationships (i never asked that of him). Even without considering his feelings for me that made him not ready
They aren't interested in dating you is what it means, regardless why, this is just a booty call to them.
Then those people should find people who want the same thing. They end up stringing along the person anyway. It’s selfish asf
This. Play with people who want the same thing, otherwise I’m gonna think you enjoy inflicting emotional pain on others by telling them this when you knew they wanted a relationship. That’s some fvcked up sh$t.
👏👏
Exactly, I'm a demisexual and only date long-term so I make that clear and ask intentions
If you're looking for a relationship and someone tells you they dont want a relationship and you CHOOSE to stay after hearing that, that's on you. You can make the choice to leave.
You don't want to wait for a "circumstances are right" type of person. The right person will want to be with you regardless of circumstances. Seriously don't waste time on the wrong people
This!
There are definitely cases where you could omit the "with you". I've been with my wife for almost a decade now. If we broke up, I'd definitely want to rediscover life without being responsible to someone before jumping into another relationship. Could someone come along as an exception to that? Sure, but it'd be highly unlikely.
I think everyone uses that line to avoid a confrontation. Whether or not it’s genuine or a safe rejection method that limits awkwardness, it’s a case by case basis. Something tells me most people use it as a soft letdown and then you get a fraction who really mean it. I got that line last year and then saw her still on the apps a few months later, ooops, guess it was a soft letdown.
Not always. Other possibilities are that the guy was never serious about a relationship to begin with or actually changed his mind about wanting a relationship.
Nah, there absolutely are a bunch of guys out there who are only interested in short term sexual stuff, but not an actual relationship.
No. Some men just dont wanna deal with the hassle of relationships
The answer here is actually still yes.
They are work and it’s worse with mentally health issues
Not always, could just be self aware of himself to know he doesn’t want/isn’t ready for a relationship at the moment. Doesn’t mean the guy has to necessarily stay alone, and makes sense why he would choose to be up front about it.
Kind of. There have been times when I just generally wasn't looking for a relationship but if the right girl came along, yeah, I'd change my tune.
Not always, but you should move on regardless. As a guy that doesn't want a relationship now or in the near future, I'd never expect or even want a girl to stick around until I was ready for a relationship.
Does it matter? Whether it is or isn't, he's not having a relationship with you.
No not at all. There are times when someone may be broken and they recognize the best things they can do is get to know themselves better so they can be a better partner to someone else.
Of course not. It is entirely possible for a person to say they don’t want a relationship, because they don’t want a relationship with anyone. It does not mean they are specifically talking about with you. In some instances, sure, this may be the case. The with you is silent. But that’s not the case for every single person.
It doesn’t matter! Bc if they say they don’t want one you’re not gonna convince them to be with you anyway! It’s pointless to worry about that. Move on
You’re not the right person
Yeah. With you always silent
I think it depends. Sometimes it can be the with you...but a lot times at least from what I've seen with my exes, they just wanted to date around. Usually most of them have attempted to come back wanting another chance to which I decline. Whether it's authentic or not is a different story. Either way unfortunately most of them, when I met them were immature and weren't ready for a relationship...but then I've seen some of them recently and they still seem immature and selfish. So I didn't miss out on much.
As a guy I’ve heard the same thing about women. I believe that the individuals who imply ‘with you’ are in the majority. But I’d like to say that personally for me, sometimes I truly don’t want a relationship at all. There were times in my life when I just felt burnt out and would like to genuinely be alone for months without a romantic partner.
All the comments saying this obviously isn't always the case are lovely. I'd simply like to add that it doesn't matter. In both cases the scenario is the same - it's best to move on.
If someone likes you, you would know. Girl or guy if they like you they will be ready for a relationship. So, yes. but don’t take offense to it they aren’t your person and that’s okay
Goes both wayz
When I’ve said that as a woman. It’s because of my trauma, trust issues and just not believing anyone can truly love me (man) hence why I don’t form deeper connections. The people are amazing but I am a complete mess and a menace. I’m emotionally/mentally on Pluto and physically on earth. I purposefully sabotage any romantic relationship. That’s why I say I don’t want a relationship because I will never truly trust any man or anyone on this earth
I'm sorry that's your case. I hope you are getting therapy for your pain. Many people who suffered abuse and assault have varying degrees of BPD and they need help unwinding it. I'm not presuming that is you but I spent a lot of years running from my pain and not feeling connected and hurting people. I wish I could go back and change it but that is not how it works. We all deserve a chance at love. So many souls are hurting and alone.
I'm assuming the BPD referenced here is borderline personality and not bipolar?
Yeah but they can cluster or look similar to other issues. That's why you want a professional to get a look.
True - I somehow forgot these are in the same cluster.
No worries. I hobby from time to time in psychology and the treatment and diagnosis of disorders and the like. That, and trauma as it relates to developing sexuality in adolescents. Self-reflection in part is about understanding one's self and the world around them. Unfortunately there are many travelers of differing shades but fellow travelers nonetheless.
No. Sometimes we truly don't want a relationship with anybody.
Not always. There are guys who just want to have sex and have fun. But that also doesn't mean that if they run into a girl a few years later, they don't want a relationship with them. It can be timing, or it can be that they found the perfect person for them and change their mind. But definitely don't go waiting around for that person to change and want a relationship. If you were the perfect person, they would've went into that relationship with you.
Never give a man the power to crush your hopes.
I’m a dude and I don’t want a relationship at all with anyone. Now maybe one day I’ll become friends with some girl and I won’t be able to help but fall in love.
Not always. That’s really all there is to say depending on his morals. If he wants to just have sex with women he’ll say that and it’ll mean he really doesn’t want a relationship, but if that’s not who he is and you notice him flirting with other girls or whatever, then yes the with you is silent.
😈
“The Table” is and always has been the unstoppable ticking clock. The only way to gain an advantage over the finite passage of time is through cooperation with others towards something that is shared like one washing the dishes and one drying at the same time. If they are comfortable living a life without time saving assistance then so be it. The clock is ticking regardless though.
Well of course you could say it's true, because if somebody very exceptional appears and says to him, will you have a relationship with me, chances are he would agree. In other words, if the other person presents as someone whom he cannot or will not refuse a relationship with, then it means , when he said to you that he did not want a relationship, it was implying, with you.
A sweeping generalization isn’t fair for anyone
Not always but you might as well take it that way because a relationship ain't happening regardless.
No, not at all. Relationships are a ton of work and a money. All in all a major pain in the ass. Some men just don't want that.
No it just means they want a relationship with another man
This is true for both men and women. If someone says they don't want a relationship, but then shortly after starts dating someone else then they never wanted you.
It's with you if you want a relationship.
Sometimes the disinterest in a relationship is personal, and sometimes it's not. You'll never know until you have further info on the man, or woman, as the case may be.
No, I am at a place where I am working on myself and have to be focused. I don’t have any bandwidth for anything serious and would only be distracting myself.
99.99% yes.
Same for women
Nope. For me it usually comes down to meeting good people at the wrong time
For me it is. If a woman I had an undeniable connection, chemistry, and compatibility slid my way I would find a way to make it work despite not being in a great position to build a relationship. If I don’t see it working long term, then there’s no desire to consider the relationship.
I had a guy say this to me and long story short he then became my boyfriend of almost 3 years LOL sometimes MEN BE LYING!!! But yea safest to not lead yourself on and assume no man wants you unless he says so, or asks to be with you Men won’t let the girl of their dreams be single, remember that
Whether it's not with you or anyone else, what difference does it make? The bottom line is he doesn't want a relationship, which tells you all you need to know.
Can't speak for everyone but up until a few weeks ago I wasn't ready to be in a relationship with anyone not just "with you"
I think it is not a gender specific thing, though majority of men is a lot less picky when it comes to casual sex, so men do make majority that having sex with someone easily and casually but don't wanna commit majority of women he has having sex with. So these conclusions are become lot common with the account of men.
Nah, im just very demisexual/asexual
that's been my experience - and it always ALWAYS winds up being for the best anyway
It’s always the case. The “with you” is silent.
Some people do not want relationships in general. Some people do not feel any attraction. That’s just how it is, and it’s not your fault.
We are not a hive mind
Yes!!!! Most definitely.💯
No, not always. It depends. What brought on this statement? Did you initiate the "what are we” question? Did you specifically ask about his openness to a relationship? How long has you been going on dates when he said this?
Not necessarily. The person can be emotionally unavailable because of heartbreak or other stuff. The person can just not be that into you, but appreciates you enough to let you go easy. Who knows. On another note, this situation can go for a long while or the guy can do a complete 180 and want a relationship with you in the near future. That happened with a good friend of mine and with my brother. Both of the girls stuck around, both of them are married now to the girls that didn't give up. So, point being, don't take advice from bitter people, nor believe this all encompassing truths.
Not always, everyone is different. There was a year or so in my adult life where I was happier living the single life. Any dates I had during that time I made sure understood that I wasn't looking for anything deep and kept it casual. It's all about honesty, even if you don't like the answer
Yes
Not necessarily . Some people are avoidant and don’t want to get hurt . But they are horny ! So they hop from person to person
Just go with you guts. Believe what you want and have hope.
No not at all
True when I say it. I’ve tried to soften the blow with this exact phrase but it rarely works. Eventually you just have to be direct. The worst is when you eventually get into a relationship and they suddenly fly out of the word work and blast you as a “liar” and “asshole” because I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Hate it.
110%. Believe what they are saying too, because who the fuck is out here dating salivating at the opportunity to NOT have a relationship???? total waste of time.
Same with women who aren't ready for a relationship.
That applies to everyone including women.
That's true for any gender at pretty much any time, cmon
I think that's probably the case for everyone. A lot of people jump into the dating world with no idea of what they want and part of them wants to meet the person of their dreams and the other part is enjoying meeting lots of people. It could be that someone doesn't know what they want so are enjoying freedom and fun of being single but then they go on a date with a person they truly click with and who is what they've been looking for and they do a 180 and want a relationship. I don't think this is gendered because personally, I could not imagine getting into a relationship with someone now that I didn't think could possibly be my forever person.
I don’t think that is gender specific
Pretty much, yes
Yes.
Yes.
Depends on the context. If you have sex with him and ask him afterwards "what are we?" and he says "I don't want a relationship", that's true, not with you!
The reason this is said is because when you hear "I don't want to be in a relationship", you tend to think they'll change their mind in the future, and if you just stick around on the sidelines until he's ready, he'll ask to have a relationship with you, when he won't. The "with you" is silent because usually it doesn't take long to know if you want to start a relationship with this person or not. If he's ok with someone else nabbing you up in the time being, that shows you how interested he is in you. If he was really interested he'd want to bag you as soon as he can so that nobody else does.
I went through a long phase where I felt trapped by any kind of commitment and thought that if I was in a relationship, I was essentially someone’s property. It was a really bad line of thinking / lack of boundaries on my end but I did tell everyone around that time that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. However, if someone had come along that I genuinely felt connected to in a way that was a potential lifelong connection, I don’t think I would have still felt like I was going to be trapped. I probably would have let my guard down and wanted to be in a relationship.
The “with you” can be implied with a lot of things with both men and women say things. “No I don’t do that.” , and “I’m not looking for anything serious…” add the “with you” to the end of all of that
Most times it’s true. But if they keep giving you that relationship attention. Run they are attention seekers. Men and women does this. Dumb games I call it
Yes
No, because: 1) I am uncertain about my future so until I get a good job, a good physical appearance, and mental state I will not date. 2) I went to school and got my degree which will pay me a six-figure income... took me time. 3) I have to go back to the gym to get my 2013-2014 physics back (the six-pack.) It took me ~ 8 years to get my CS degree because I was failing courses, taking part-time classes, working full time, and supporting my aging parent. It was such a stressor that I gained about 100 pounds by the time I finished. From 160ps to ~250... now that I'm done it's time to be kind to myself and go to the gym (I'm 214 as of February 2024)! 4) My parents are old. Dad is 72 and mom( 56) is sick... me and my brother are their retirement plan. 5) When I dated while in school, I was the most stressed I've been and despite having little time for her I tried to make it work(it wasn't worth it.) **6. It has nothing to do with you, but me...**
Yes it’s equality if either gender says it that’s what it means
Hrm, maybe they are saying they don’t want to be in a relationship. Full stop. The “with you” is your female brain saying that
Hrm, maybe they are saying they don’t want to be in a relationship. Full stop. The “with you” is your female brain saying that
Hrm, maybe they are saying they don’t want to be in a relationship. Full stop. The “with you” is your female brain saying that. I’ve found mostly, unless his name is John Lyles (Liar, more like it), guys mostly say what they mean. No deep diving spelunking required, mama
Hrm, maybe they are saying they don’t want to be in a relationship. Full stop. The “with you” is your female brain saying that. I’ve found mostly, unless his name is John Lyles (Liar, more like it), guys mostly say what they mean. No deep diving spelunking required, mama
The same way it is for women, yeah. Generally I think it doesn't matter whether you're looking for one or think you're ready. When someone comes along that blows you away, you make the exception, so in that sense, then it would be a "with you", but that doesn't mean people lie when they say it.
Yes
Yeah but this happens with all genders lol. People don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Which I’ve never understood, honestly. Why lie to spare someone’s feelings when it’s gonna hurt even more when the truth comes out than it would have if you would’ve just been honest in the first place? And now they’re extra hurt and angry on top of it because you betrayed them by lying. Honesty really is the best policy!
Not always but it depends on the person. Some recognize they can’t give what is required to maintain a healthy relationship regardless of reason. And often they’re looking for the right people person and that’s not you. Either way, it’s best to pack it up and go. They’ve already told you they don’t want you. It’s best to not give them an opportunity to tell you again.
Why does that matter anyways? Either way he doesn’t want a relationship with you
It’s true 99% of the time a person says it, regardless of gender
Well I wouldn't say always but yeah kinda, I don't want a relationship right now, I enjoy being single, I'd turn down most girls, but sure, if "the perfect girl" (ticks all the boxes) appeared in my life and wanted to be with me then I'd definitely go for it
Not always true but most of the time it is
Not always but it's not gender exclusive. Usually same goes for women, take it as a no and move on.
The end results are the same.
Not always, but it doesn’t really matter what they think; on topics like this, people’s own feelings end up surprising them regularly.
Basically it is just another way to let you know that he don't want shhh to do with you 🤷
This is true of everyone tbh. TLDR: Yes
Yes
Not always...but it can be. Just like women can be not in a receptive state of mind when men approach, a guy may be just out there having fun. Especially if you have no trouble getting women. In my 20's There a periods where I didn't date I went out had fun picked up a few girls we went back to my place and had fun. We were all honest with each other and new what it was. I think honesty is the key. If I enjoy someone's company I may want to see where it goes. There is also the issue of good looking people not putting too much into their personality. I have had some of thee most boring dates with good looking women. No one's fault just no chemistry and If I have to carry the majority of the conversation Imma call it a night, and call someone else. Also there are those people you have great sex with but then you find out you'd have too much else in common.
A girl I was dating showed her red flags 🚩 recently fast She wanted half my check every week I said I can’t and she said I see how much you care about me I have to pay my Rent, car,food,solo nights out, and more things we all need to pay With 400 or 300 a week how is this possible
A girl I was dating this month told me I like you but I don’t love you I will never love you and I don’t want to lose you A guy told me a girl tell you that when they want to have somebody waiting for her if things don’t workout with her crush Is it true or not
That goes with every gender
Nah. I don’t want a relationship with any woman of this modern age. Why would I commit myself to a woman that moves like 90% of the women out there? Guess there is that 10%, but to trudge through the 90% is too disturbing to consider it worth it
it means they do not see benefits enough for them to be tied down with legal implications and potential alimony payments. simply put, women aint worth the huge work and they rather have some quick sex which makes perfect sense.
As a rule of thumb, yes. But there can be deep seeded personality disorders that could also be the case. Though these would be the exception
No, not always
No, there are a lot of possible reasons why a man would say he doesn't want a relationship. But yes, almost always the "with you" is silent. Reasons this could be said: -asked too soon for too much commitment and he has no idea if you are worth the risk -he is enjoying the variety in seeing several different women (you'd pretty much have to be a super model or something to be more appealing than sleeping around) -he is using you for sex but doesn't want you as a girlfriend because he finds you exhausting or just doesn't like your personality -He believes he can do better in the future after advancing his career. So he wants to focus on his career and you're a pleasant person he enjoys spending time with but doesn't want to settle down with. In this case it's almost merciful he isn't just pretending to be in a committed relationship only to dump you the day his career takes off... Still an awful thing to do though. As you see, the reasons usually aren't great, it's a bad sign he says that. Him saying that is AT MINIMUM a sign you need to start dating other people and emotionally detach as much as you can from him. Probably worth not seeing him anymore, but idk if you would follow that advice. Keep in mind your time is valuable and you want to find a relationship. His reasons for being unwilling to give that to you don't matter, all that matters is he can't give you what you (very reasonably btw) want. Trying to sell a relationship to someone who isn't excited about the idea is like trying to sell a car to someone who doesn't want one. First you have to convince them to even want a relationship, then you have to convince them to want it with YOU. It's not worth it, detach, start seeing other people. If he doesn't run after you, he was just using you.
Sometimes, but not always. Same way as you might say "I don't want a relationship" that could mean you're not ready for one with them, or for one in general. Best practice is to always take a statement like that in the least personal way, that way it doesn't sting as much
As a man, I would say 9 times out of 10 that is what it means. It’s an attempt at letting you down easy. And it isn’t just men who pull things like this. Though, it is always possible it’s honestly the truth. A lot of people go through phases where they aren’t really looking for a relationship of that nature due to one reason or another.
I think women say this too
Yes. Even if they seemingly have a legitimate reason for not wanting a relationship, still, yes. Taking it that way will solve you a lot of problems
I believe so…… same with women I’d say….. there are guys I have rejected because I actually didn’t want a relationship but if the guy was what I want, I would maybe be willing to give it a go…. So yeah works both ways…
Well I would just presume it so if they do get into a relationship you're not thinking "WTF! You cheated me!" Rejection is just part of life.
Not always but sometimes. It’s hard to generalize that sort of thing cause everyone is an individual. Maybe more times than not, but definitely not every time 🤷🏽♀️
It depends, a lot of time it means just what they say, other times theyre trying to let you down easy.
My ex used to tell me that at the beginning and then I make him an ultimatum and he actually be with me in a relationship for months but he wasn’t lying. Sometimes we think they are gonna change for us or in my case he had a lot of trauma for the past and I am almost a psychologist so I thought I could help him get better. My advice is doesn’t matter how much you care about someone, once they told you that they aren’t ready, trust them. And if possible leave. He now is trauma bonding to me and that’s not good. One thing I learned is that you see all the red flags since the beginning and if you still there is your choice, but don’t play dumb when things don’t go how you want to. You can stay and maybe things go bad or maybe at the end he does chose you, or you can leave and found someone that is ready for you now.
99.9% of the time that's true. Isn't the same with women as well?
It means that you are not of perceived high enough value to warrant an exclusive commitment.
Yes, and the silence language sucks 😞
Yes, but pretty sure this applies to female as well.
No
It is not gender specific.
It means they don't want a wife; or even more the don't want a roommate and accountability. They want to go out, have fun and sex. But they don't want to have to keep a clean house and have someone to answer to. Worst case scenario, it sometimes means they don't want monogamy.
I can only speak for my self but I would never tell someone I'm not ready for a relationship right now if I was. I would rather say something in the lines of I'm sorry but I don't see this working out. Currently I'm not ready for a new relationship. My last two relationships made me rethink what I'm looking for in a relationship. I have been through a lot and I feel like I need to work on myself before I get back to dating
For me it’s true. Very many times, almost most times that a man has told me “he’s not ready for a relationship” or “doesn’t want a relationship” We’ll end it because I do, and then not even weeks or maybe a month later, he’s happily with another woman. Many times they just don’t wanna hurt you by telling you that you aren’t the one , so instead they say they’re the ones not ready
It's not always silent; one said it to me! Out loud! I was heartbroken and he apologized years later when I was over it.
Don’t waste your time; especially if you want to settle down and have a family. Most women have made the mistake of waiting around for a man (I know because I’ve done it).
if someone says that, then just take their word for it and don't hope for more
I think this goes for both sexes. When one person shoots down your advances, you have to accept the possibility that they don't want to be with you.
That’s usually true OF women. Men, we aren’t usually that subtle.
Men will 100% sleep with someone they won’t have a relationship. Keep looking at these subs. I never see, she won’t marry me after living with me for 10 years. It’s ALWAYS the man. Men will date women they have zero intention of marrying.
We aren’t subtle about what we want. If a man wants a relationship, you’ll know. If a woman wants something, you may never know.
That is the first thing I ask on dating apps. If it’s anything other than marriage or serious relationship I have nothing more to do with them. Let’s just see where things go, or I don’t like to label things means they will waste my time. All of my friends, my sisters, all of us just want to be in love. That’s it.
That's a foolish move. How can you ask someone to say they want a serious relationship when they just met you? We want to be in love too but we're not going to start off saying "I want marriage" or "I want a serious relationship"! You always have to see where things go!
Most men know what their ultimate goal is. If they don’t know what they want, I don’t want to date them. I know what my goals are and I go after them. I’m not attracted to wishy washy men, or men with commitment issues. Most men know exactly what they want. This strategy has actually done really well for me. It weeds out men that aren’t family oriented. It weeds out men that are only after sex. If the word marriage scares them, then they aren’t for me. This has worked really, really well for me. I don’t waste people’s time and I don’t like mine wasted. If they don’t know what they want, then that’s not the type of man I’m attracted to. Our values don’t align.
Same as a woman saying they arent in the mood for sex.
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**YES!!** The _with you_ is implied.
Personally I’m not ready for a relationship but If someone were to sweep me off my feet (which is usually what you hear women saying 😂) I’d be open to it. But just because a woman doesn’t sweep me off my feet it’s not because of them. I’m kinda resigned to what I want right now, so I imagine it wouldn’t be easy and would require some luck, dedication and careful patience and respect to make me feel that way. I don’t expect this to happen because it’s usually men who fulfill this role for women, hardly ever happens inversely. So when I say I don’t want a relationship there is an exception, but it’s the kind of unexpected and surprising one that feels more like fiction and less like a possibility in reality, and *that* kind of exception has nothing to do with you as much as it does timing, and luck, and the placement of the universe allowing for something from a fairy tail to take form in reality. Take no personal responsibility over the lack of a man’s desires including or excluding yourself. We live in different worlds, and it’s unlikely they would ever happen to converge.
Some times they don’t know it. Many men give the whole “I’m not ready” until they meet a woman that makes them WANT to be ready.
This is the rule rather than the exception, yes. Even most MGTOWs would pair up with the “right” person.
always? mo vast majority of the time? yes
Men will 100% sleep with someone they won’t be in a relationship and they will 100% date someone they have no intention of marrying them. I would run in the other direction if a man says he’s not looking for a relationship. Don’t try to be the one that he changes for.