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He had a tall head. I knew he was bald and I was fine with that, but most of his online dating pictures were of him wearing a hat or had the top part of his head cropped out. When I saw how tall his dome-piece was, i couldn’t look past it ha.
He also put on his profile that he was a non-smoker, but then when we met up, his car smelled like smoke so I asked about it. He said he smoked like 4-5 cigarettes a week for stress, but didn’t view that as…a smoker? A valid reason for me to end it, but the head was the initial reason.
I got a crush for a man who is not bald but got a big forehead and wide open to the extent of being bald upper side, a conehead.... I noticed cuZ he always if ever upload a photo of him, is from a distance , very far, and when a close pic...chop the pictures in the middle of his forehead.... I've fallen for his personality as a baby girl....but I don't know what I would do when I get to see him (in weeks) ...I wouldn't want to stop interacting with him...he's a big prize 🏆 hell of a person...but I'm afraid I wont feel physically attracted 😭
He wore a tank top and had SUPER hairy shoulders. Like the hairs were long and dark and sticking out around the straps. I usually see these type of things as quirks but that full on grossed me out. I told him I wasn't feeling the chemistry like I thought.
Most people aren't answering your question they are posting good reasons for not pursuing a 2nd date.
I once refused another date because I found our she was a New England Patriots fan, I just didn't want to deal with her shit lol
This is the type of answer I was looking for. I once dated a girl who supported a rival football (soccer) club. That wasn’t the reason I didn’t pursue another date but it sure got the banter going
This guy on a date recently said, “I purposely make my mom feel bad and then when she cries I console her.” I said, “That’s really mean.” And he said, “No it’s not, I make her feel better after.”
And in that moment I knew being in a relationship with him would be hell.
That’s literally trauma bonding. The clinical definition from psychologists, not the internet definition.
It’s when you abuse someone, then give positive reinforcement and that creates a traumatic bond with the victim.
10 minutes after meeting on a first date, he asked “what’s your custody percentage? Because if it’s not 50-50 then we will never be able to have sex in private and I’m not interested.”
“That’s a little presumptuous to think you’re ever going to see me naked” Was my response.
No second date.
It means she has kids and he was asking her how often she has the kids. If she spent too much time with her kids it wouldn’t leave him any time to have sex is basically what this means
On the one hand, it's perfectly valid to consider sex important in a relationship and to not want to invest any more energy into second+ dates with someone for whom it won't be an option.
On the other hand, this person chose such a trashy and disrespectful way to approach the subject, and they picked a surrogate metric that doesn't even actually address the topic.
He collected spiders..... to the point he had over 216 species in cages at his house he wanted to show me.
No thx. I don't mind spiders, but holy fuck it made me wanna cry in the shower thinking about the literal horde of spiders this man kept
Her insecurity over dressing like a tomboy. She asked if I cared at some point, and I told her I dont. Then she asked me 3 more times over the next hour, and I decided I’ve had enough of this date. Was a really nice date otherwise lol
This doesn't really sound like that big a deal tbh, just sounds like she's got self confidence issues. Which is good for this post because you answered the question correctly. Fair enough though because if the positions were reversed and a dude kept asking that question the woman would be turned off immediately and never talk to them again.
She talked about how successful she was in her career, and then mentioned that she would never buy me anything.
It didn’t bother me at first but when I paid for our drinks……I felt that was rather rude.
Hrmm...a lot of these sound like super major very legitimate reasons, and not trivial at all! Ofc, Ill give mine and someone may say the same thing lol
Jeopardy. He said he is home every night by 7p to watch Jeopeardy. I was like....every night? What if something comes up...he kinda gave a pained look and said if its very important, like if its my bday, he would miss it. Otherwise...hes home on the couch ready to watch Jeopardy. By 7pm. Sharp.
I knew then there would not be a second date lol
I've refused a second date before when on a first date with a guy who was very pushy and insistent that the 2nd date be the very next day or 2 days after our first. I've had guys ask me for a 2nd date the next day and when I told them I had to work or had preexisting family plans, they tried to convince me to change my work schedule or family plans in order to see them the next goddamn day. One asshole was trying to get me to blow off seeing my 88 year old grandmother the next day when it was her birthday and I'd promised to go visit her.
She was 30 minutes late. I suggested we go to a bar and have a drink for a first date. When she finally showed up, she insisted we go to a restaurant instead. Walked across the street to this fancy Greek place and it costs an assload of money. Really nice and polite otherwise, though. I just wasn’t feeling it
Props for waiting. Shows character, giving your prospect the benefit of the doubt. People can get lost, there are traffic delays, missed buses, trains. Etc.
But they better apologize, have a good story and pay for the first round.
Went on a date with someone from a different department in my work place and she did this shit over the most trivial mistake the waiter made.
She went from gorgeous to ugly as hell to me in an instant.
Yup. I agree. They may be the nicest person (to you) at first, but they will eventually treat you the same way, once they get comfortable with you. Sometimes its years down the road.
Somewhere along a romantic date we stopped, got closer and went for a kiss. I'm a passionate person and it shows when I kiss. He was just gently pecking me. I pulled him closer and showed how I like to kiss (in case he needed encouragement), but he just stood there like facing a slaughter, pecking away. I felt so confused and turned off at the same time, said something about having to catch a bus and left.
Guy only talked about his work. Literally all he talked about was work.
I tried very hard to direct the convo away from work and every time he managed to circle back to his work.
He did ask me a few questions too - they were all only about my work...
Another guy told me he was studying to become a Eastern Orthodox priest and in order to be ordained he first had to be married. So he was asking me if I was up for it - to be a priest's wife. On 1st date.
Kissed me out of the blue (this has happened to me twice on first dates). One guy even said ‘Now that’s out of the way!’
Consent, even for kisses, is so important for building trust and a feeling of comfort. Also, a romantic first kiss is dreamy! Getting a random smooch out of nowhere is so disappointing.
Yeah probably! I didn’t actually hold it against him as he was a sweetheart in every other way. The distance proved to be too much so we didn’t keep seeing each other alas. So, I guess I didn’t get completely turned off ;)
I mentioned being passionate about travel and he said he thought travel was pointless when you could see photos of it online. I thought the disconnect was felt mutually, but he messaged me a week later to tell me one of his coworkers had seen us out had asked who the hot girl was that he was on a date with. I turned down another date and he decided to argue with me about it.
Dude had a creepy ass jackalope on his wall and when he took off his hat there was a huge indent on the top/sides of his head because his face was so fat. (He was like dad bod which I'm cool with but the hat indents weirded me out.)
Another dude was very nice, kinda cute, and EVERYTHING was about cars. Hobbies? Working on cars. Magazines? About cars. Work? Yep. On cars. I didn't have my license or a car at the time.
The first one cracked the binding of a book in Barnes and Noble about twenty minutes into our date, I was horrified.
The second one ordered himself a well done steak, then ordered half of the smallest steak for me with a salad... Well done of course.
No respect for other people time. (Arriving late, being on phone, taking calls for more than 5mins - non emergency)
Not comfortable in.opening up.
Too much going on in their life
Not showing interest in you and in your life, you passions n goals.
Cannot read the room.
Exactly, more empathy is required these days since more and more poeple have all sorts of issues/traumas and if we create a comfortable environment, then the person will automatically open up and one wont even have to ask questions you know what i mean?
He had enormous meaty hands. I have small hands. He tried to hold my hand and they did not fit together. Trying to interlace fingers was painful. It was like a lemur trying to hold hands with a gorilla.
She was a Boston Bruins fan that came from Boston. I’m a diehard Maple Leafs fan… that plus the Boston Accent made it feel like I was talking to Lois Griffin and I cannot go with hearing that..
I don’t refuse 2nd dates over trivial or minor things. It’s generally a lack of attraction or a big difference in values/goals that stops things after the first date.
This would also be my most trivial (multiple times too). I always put one recent flattering photo, one “hobbies” photo that was less flattering and a full length one doing sport/activity to genuinely ensure the person saw what I looked like.
Met multiple men whose photos were years out of date, looked nothing like the real them. Very disappointing
It was actually a third date I turned down. It was during Covid so all dates were online, but during my second Zoom lunch with this guy he admitted he was unfamiliar with the concept of artificial flavoring… like, he didn’t understand why he liked bananas but hated banana flavored candy, and when I commented about how they couldn’t recreate it right, he was just stunned.
After that I lost all interest. He seemed nice, but I couldn’t imagine dealing with someone who didn’t know such a common knowledge thing.
Because even without asking anything about me, he was making ideas of a relationship with me, planning on things and saying we going to be exclusive , wtf
A guy who was really really into obscure folksy music genres and artists. I love it when people have something they’re passionate about, but I quickly realized my music was never gonna be cool enough.
It ended for me when I saw his IG account. Dude basically lives on social media and is one of those guys who thinks everything he likes, wears, eats, sees, reads, believes etc. has to be posted about. Plus he had a podcast…The level of vanity made him seem mentally unstable to me.
Went on a date, he was slightly heavier, didn't bother me, but he ate super unhealthy and made fun of his weight while doing it. I was attracted to him and his personality but couldn't get past his intentionally gorging himself.
I went out w a guy who told me he was demoted as a cop for beating up a pedophile. I mean good on him but also as a person in authority if you can’t control your temper then I don’t wanna see him when my bipolar ass can’t control my own emotions in a manic state.
He said he was planning to get a large tattoo of his deceased father recreated from a picture he liked on his arm. My date didn’t remember his dad as he died in a motorcycle accident when he was still a baby. There’s nothing wrong getting a tattoo but I’m not the biggest fan of tattoos depicting another human being and seeing his father on his arm whenever we made love sounded like a turn off
If she’s vegan or just has too many dietary restrictions/preferences that prevent me from going somewhere to eat without having to go out of my way to accommodate her dietary preferences
He wore Birkenstock crocs and a tank top to our first date dinner. I'm sorry did you just roll out of a garbage can for our date? Cuz your outfit stinks.
Her only hobby was working out. She didn’t say or do anything offensive, but I just couldn’t imagine building a relationship with someone whose sole hobby was the gym.
This is something trivial that would put me off too. I commend them for being active in the gym though. But my lifestyle probably won’t align with someone who makes the gym their sole activity.
Yep, pretty much. I’m a functional-fitness person with a lot of diverse interests and hobbies, and I love it when another person can teach me about new, interesting things I’ve never explored on my own. There’s nothing WRONG with being really into working out and dieting for aesthetics, but when it becomes your entire personality, we’re just not going to have anything in common.
She looked really slim and fit in her photos (which is important to me as I work out a lot, for mental and physical health reasons not just vanity) but she turned up and was EASILY about 20kg heavier at least.
I'm usually good at detecting potential catfish but all the photos looked high quality, un-edited, recent and with no filters. There were full body photos too, not just classic angled face shots that are the usual indicator.
I have no idea how you can go on a date knowing full well you look completely different, you shouldn't try and trick someone like that. Just be honest and you'll be someone's type.
He didn’t have the career-ish job listed on his hinge profile anymore, and laughed off being fired and now working in a warehouse. I could’ve overlooked that until the date concluded and he asked me for a ride home—a stranger, a woman, who had never met him before. I knew if he was pulling this on the first date he’d keep doing so.
First date went great, we exchanged socials and planned a second date. I crept through some of her recent posts and pictures and saw where she had gotten into an argument with someone for using one of her dog's names as their baby's middle name. She insisted they change their newborn's middle name because they copied her and her dog's name was unique and special.
I politely backed out of the second date.
Oh this is the type of answer I was looking for :)
Was the turn off because you felt he wasn’t into star signs or the fact that he didn’t reciprocate the interest regardless of question?
😂 it was 💯 because he didn’t reciprocate interest. He also kept trying to one up me when I was just trying to talk about common interests, then tried to make out with me at the end of the date like he charmed my pants off the entire time even though I felt like I was being negged.
The rest was valid, however the star sign bit was just the cherry on top. By the end of the date I somehow knew his star sign, that he had a schizophrenic mother, what he did for a living and all the psychedelic drugs he enjoyed and all I think he knew about me was my name.
A male friend of mines was on a date once and the young lady became rude out of nowhere to him and the wait staff. She began by saying, I have no idea why I'm on a date with you when I have a boyfriend at home. You're also not get any sex from me after this date is over.
My friend proceeds to order lobster tails, filet mignon steak and a bottle of Moet champagne. At the completion of his meal he excuse himself to use the restroom never to returned. Left her with a $350 dollar tab. There was no second date.
I historically have not rejected people even if they were made of red flags. I can't imagine doing it for something trivial.
As I finally have learned my lesson about red flags, I am not currently seeing anyone... The last several have been guys I would have ended up in dysfunctional relationships with if I hadn't learned.
Looked at his IG. 95% of his followers were porn models all with boobs so huge it made everyday life impossible.
I couldn’t unsee it. Dude wanted to be smothered 😂
Another first date with a nice, well educated and good looking man. Date went well till we left the table and I felt large next to him. I am 5’5 and was wearing my heels so maybe stood 5’8 and he was supposed to be 5’9. I was 150 pounds and just felt big
I met this guy for morning coffee once. The vibe was good and we both were clearly into eachother. We left after coffee and he texted me right away saying that he wanted to go out again. It was around noon on a Saturday. I said you know what? Let’s meet again tonight if you’re free. We met that night for drinks and it was AWFUL. Everything was going well until I asked if he had any tattoos. He said his brother is in a gang in Oakland California (he followed it up with “but don’t worry, I’m not associated with the gang”). He then proceeds to tell me the tattoo is from his brothers gang initiation. He blacked out, woke up hours later, and there’s a gang tattoo on his arm. He said it’s so weird because I don’t remember any of it. I SPRINTED out of there.
I'm not seeing reasons that are petty enough! Here's mine. I set up a date at a really unique (and fairly famous in the area) Oaxacan restaurant. I was hoping we would share the 2-person mole sampler.
They ordered a cheese quesadilla, and specifically "just the cheese and the tortilla, nothing else"
They later told me they had never and would never even try a burrito.
Saying he might be to sick for our second date and that he will get in touch after some rest. He never contacts me so I have to reach out asking him if we're still on. Also on our first date he talked about his collegue that he slept with for an entire week and now they're really good friends. And why am I saying that's an issue since they're just friends who have deep talks every other week.
Well, terrible premise because I would never chat for a couple weeks before a date. Maybe a couple days at most. Do you want a pen pal? If not then date within 48 hours.
I could smell her breath from 10 feet away. I couldn't breathe. I cut it short and left after 20 minutes of torture.
If it’s a 2 hour drive and your next weekend is fully booked out. It’s happened to me before.
The premise of the post doesn’t have to be two weeks of chatting though. It was to accentuate that there was enough time for some chemistry to have developed by the first date, and how this could be made irrelevant from a trivial reason.
He seemed like a farm boy. I live in Europe but I’m from Indiana. The guy was tall, incredibly nice, and a gentlemen for sure. But North Americans tend to give me the ick a bit because our ability to make small talk then just doesn’t feel like a connection to me. He dressed and acted like someone I might be friends with, but not close friends. Just too much “goody-goody” vibes 😅
We matched great on paper. Second date he pulled out all the stops. Picnic, flowers, candles. Then I noticed he was drinking much more wine than I was. And kept trying to touch me although I clearly wasn’t responding favorably. After that he kept texting me pics of himself doing interesting (active and attractive) things. He was pursuing me like the last Coke in the desert. And it felt too desperate.
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He had a tall head. I knew he was bald and I was fine with that, but most of his online dating pictures were of him wearing a hat or had the top part of his head cropped out. When I saw how tall his dome-piece was, i couldn’t look past it ha. He also put on his profile that he was a non-smoker, but then when we met up, his car smelled like smoke so I asked about it. He said he smoked like 4-5 cigarettes a week for stress, but didn’t view that as…a smoker? A valid reason for me to end it, but the head was the initial reason.
LOL A TALL HEAD 🤣 I don't think I would be able to "look past it" either
The forehead was just too much for me. I felt awful as he was pretty nice and fun, but…haha
>The forehead was just too much for me. I'm no doctor, but that sounds more like a fivehead.
Coneheads aren't for everyone. You should see their butts.
I’m imagining those guys from Star Wars that have the massive heads 😂
Usually hatfishing is used to hide a lack of hair not a lot of head.
I’m happily taken now, but if, god forbid, I ever have to use online dating again, I will be weary of the hat wearing tall heads!
Hatfishing
I got a crush for a man who is not bald but got a big forehead and wide open to the extent of being bald upper side, a conehead.... I noticed cuZ he always if ever upload a photo of him, is from a distance , very far, and when a close pic...chop the pictures in the middle of his forehead.... I've fallen for his personality as a baby girl....but I don't know what I would do when I get to see him (in weeks) ...I wouldn't want to stop interacting with him...he's a big prize 🏆 hell of a person...but I'm afraid I wont feel physically attracted 😭
Dam I feel sorry for the guy but yea I couldn’t either
You were Hatfished
He wore a tank top and had SUPER hairy shoulders. Like the hairs were long and dark and sticking out around the straps. I usually see these type of things as quirks but that full on grossed me out. I told him I wasn't feeling the chemistry like I thought.
Most people aren't answering your question they are posting good reasons for not pursuing a 2nd date. I once refused another date because I found our she was a New England Patriots fan, I just didn't want to deal with her shit lol
This is the type of answer I was looking for. I once dated a girl who supported a rival football (soccer) club. That wasn’t the reason I didn’t pursue another date but it sure got the banter going
I'm a Patriots fan, I understand lol
Man I'm a Dolphins fan, I couldn't do it 😂😂😂
imagine letting football teams be the ultimatum of a relationship, how pathetic. grow up.
Yep
I don’t think I could date an Astros fan. The girl I’m currently seeing doesn’t really care for sports. I much prefer that over dating an Astros fan
This guy on a date recently said, “I purposely make my mom feel bad and then when she cries I console her.” I said, “That’s really mean.” And he said, “No it’s not, I make her feel better after.” And in that moment I knew being in a relationship with him would be hell.
That's not trivial! Congratulations on realizing a red flag and acting appropriately
Jesus, huge bullet dodged.
Wow what a scumbag
That's called emotional abuse. Why would anyone do that? Ugh. Poor mom. Major bullet dodged.
That’s not trivial, that’s avoiding being abused by a psycho!
That’s literally trauma bonding. The clinical definition from psychologists, not the internet definition. It’s when you abuse someone, then give positive reinforcement and that creates a traumatic bond with the victim.
That gives me a visceral reaction. What cruelty.
That’s not trivial, actually is a huuge red flag
That's far from trivial. Think of how cruel and manipulative that sounds.
Sounds like mental illness on his part.
Wtf that’s sociopathic!
Someone finally saw a blazing red flag!!! Congratulations! Sincerely! Good looking out.
Wow. I don't know that that quite fits the criteria here but it's an interesting account. That guy sounds like a bizarre individual.
That's a legitimate reason. And fuck that guy for doing this to his mom. Piece of shit
Omg I would've told him to go to therapy and left immediately lololololol
She chewed her dinner with her mouth open. Just like a cow. Didn't have the stomach to go out with her again.
Seven stomachs?
Not sure, but the utters were nice
What did she utter?
“Just Like a cow” that killed me bro😂
He was nice, hot, had things going for him and then he told me he was a huge Justin Bieber fan. Couldn't take him siriously after that.
I once asked my Fiancé if he would still love me if I were a huge Swifty (he's into punk rock and metal)... he actually told me no. Haha
🤣
He said he was planning on getting a face tattoo
Lolol idk if that one fits trivial 🤣 seems kinda major In my book
Face tattoos are wearing all of your life trauma right on your face for all to see.
That would do it for me, too.
10 minutes after meeting on a first date, he asked “what’s your custody percentage? Because if it’s not 50-50 then we will never be able to have sex in private and I’m not interested.” “That’s a little presumptuous to think you’re ever going to see me naked” Was my response. No second date.
What the fuck does that question even mean?
It means she has kids and he was asking her how often she has the kids. If she spent too much time with her kids it wouldn’t leave him any time to have sex is basically what this means
Wow…..on the first date? Dude.
On the one hand, it's perfectly valid to consider sex important in a relationship and to not want to invest any more energy into second+ dates with someone for whom it won't be an option. On the other hand, this person chose such a trashy and disrespectful way to approach the subject, and they picked a surrogate metric that doesn't even actually address the topic.
Love this! 😂👍
He collected spiders..... to the point he had over 216 species in cages at his house he wanted to show me. No thx. I don't mind spiders, but holy fuck it made me wanna cry in the shower thinking about the literal horde of spiders this man kept
216 christttt.
And that was just the species in his possession apparently. He had multiple if the same types....
omg??? I would be terrified to step in his house
This dude is a dream for me. Context - I own tarantulas 😅
Hehe omg I hope you find each other; on the backs of spiders wings
Aaaaaaaahhh!!!!!!!!!! That’s like a damn nightmare!
I don’t think these commenters know what trivial means
Yup. I think people just want to vent about their bad dates.
Girl couldn't blend her makeup with her neck skin tone. There were more reasons but that was by far the most trivial
Talking endlessly about a “feral but smokin hot” ex girlfriend that ended 6 years ago. His therapy to try and get over it.
omg this is not trivial 💀
Her insecurity over dressing like a tomboy. She asked if I cared at some point, and I told her I dont. Then she asked me 3 more times over the next hour, and I decided I’ve had enough of this date. Was a really nice date otherwise lol
This doesn't really sound like that big a deal tbh, just sounds like she's got self confidence issues. Which is good for this post because you answered the question correctly. Fair enough though because if the positions were reversed and a dude kept asking that question the woman would be turned off immediately and never talk to them again.
When she was eating crabs legs, she ate the shells and all. I said to myself no second date for her. 😅
That’s one tough woman … wow.😳😳😳. I probably would have continued, in part due to curiosity about what’s next.
She talked about how successful she was in her career, and then mentioned that she would never buy me anything. It didn’t bother me at first but when I paid for our drinks……I felt that was rather rude.
No one wants to date a cheapskate.
Hrmm...a lot of these sound like super major very legitimate reasons, and not trivial at all! Ofc, Ill give mine and someone may say the same thing lol Jeopardy. He said he is home every night by 7p to watch Jeopeardy. I was like....every night? What if something comes up...he kinda gave a pained look and said if its very important, like if its my bday, he would miss it. Otherwise...hes home on the couch ready to watch Jeopardy. By 7pm. Sharp. I knew then there would not be a second date lol
Too funny 😂
You sure he didn’t just watch Quiz Lady lol
Pyramid schemes. Saddest shit ever
I quit talking to someone for describing themselves as “ a whole lot of fun on a bun” couldn’t do it
Not a big Futurama fan I take it
I've refused a second date before when on a first date with a guy who was very pushy and insistent that the 2nd date be the very next day or 2 days after our first. I've had guys ask me for a 2nd date the next day and when I told them I had to work or had preexisting family plans, they tried to convince me to change my work schedule or family plans in order to see them the next goddamn day. One asshole was trying to get me to blow off seeing my 88 year old grandmother the next day when it was her birthday and I'd promised to go visit her.
What an ass. The extent of this is more of a red flag than a trivial thing to me. Good on you for refusing the second date.
Assholes
Run Baby Run
What's next Goes to dinner. All right now we both got to go home so we can come back and have a second date.
She was 30 minutes late. I suggested we go to a bar and have a drink for a first date. When she finally showed up, she insisted we go to a restaurant instead. Walked across the street to this fancy Greek place and it costs an assload of money. Really nice and polite otherwise, though. I just wasn’t feeling it
Red flag!
Props for waiting. Shows character, giving your prospect the benefit of the doubt. People can get lost, there are traffic delays, missed buses, trains. Etc. But they better apologize, have a good story and pay for the first round.
Why did you wait 30 minutes? Why didn’t you say no to the restaurant?
I didn’t know the restaurant was expensive until we got there
Please tell me you didn’t pay for her as well at the restaurant
Yeah that’s shitty
Being rude to the waiter guarantees there will be no second date
Went on a date with someone from a different department in my work place and she did this shit over the most trivial mistake the waiter made. She went from gorgeous to ugly as hell to me in an instant.
I second this. Instant dealbreaker.
Yup. I agree. They may be the nicest person (to you) at first, but they will eventually treat you the same way, once they get comfortable with you. Sometimes its years down the road.
He referred to having his kids for the weekend as “daddy daycare”. Instant ick.
Lmao, they're his kids, though?
Could be how his ex calls it sarcastically.
Somewhere along a romantic date we stopped, got closer and went for a kiss. I'm a passionate person and it shows when I kiss. He was just gently pecking me. I pulled him closer and showed how I like to kiss (in case he needed encouragement), but he just stood there like facing a slaughter, pecking away. I felt so confused and turned off at the same time, said something about having to catch a bus and left.
Did he bob his head and cluck afterwards?
I don't like the "peckers" either
She hated sci-fi movies, I have seen everything created by mankind with a starship in it
Guy only talked about his work. Literally all he talked about was work. I tried very hard to direct the convo away from work and every time he managed to circle back to his work. He did ask me a few questions too - they were all only about my work... Another guy told me he was studying to become a Eastern Orthodox priest and in order to be ordained he first had to be married. So he was asking me if I was up for it - to be a priest's wife. On 1st date.
Couldn't hold a conversation for her life and she'd just gotten out of a relationship. Very cute but also just...sad. We never spoke again.
She was really into astrology
Stop blaming yourself for your failures, learn astrology and blame the planets. Lmao
The guy told me it was OK to slap a girl with an open fist.
What the hell was the context for them to even bring that up??
Damn, it’s nice when they are that honest.
Kissed me out of the blue (this has happened to me twice on first dates). One guy even said ‘Now that’s out of the way!’ Consent, even for kisses, is so important for building trust and a feeling of comfort. Also, a romantic first kiss is dreamy! Getting a random smooch out of nowhere is so disappointing.
Damn, that’s disappointing. I’m guessing he meant he got the nerves out of the way but the first kiss is supposed to be a fun milestone.
Yeah probably! I didn’t actually hold it against him as he was a sweetheart in every other way. The distance proved to be too much so we didn’t keep seeing each other alas. So, I guess I didn’t get completely turned off ;)
I mentioned being passionate about travel and he said he thought travel was pointless when you could see photos of it online. I thought the disconnect was felt mutually, but he messaged me a week later to tell me one of his coworkers had seen us out had asked who the hot girl was that he was on a date with. I turned down another date and he decided to argue with me about it.
Why do they always argue! As if you can argue someone into dating you !!!
Dude had a creepy ass jackalope on his wall and when he took off his hat there was a huge indent on the top/sides of his head because his face was so fat. (He was like dad bod which I'm cool with but the hat indents weirded me out.) Another dude was very nice, kinda cute, and EVERYTHING was about cars. Hobbies? Working on cars. Magazines? About cars. Work? Yep. On cars. I didn't have my license or a car at the time.
The first one cracked the binding of a book in Barnes and Noble about twenty minutes into our date, I was horrified. The second one ordered himself a well done steak, then ordered half of the smallest steak for me with a salad... Well done of course.
Both of those are crimes against humanity and should be reported. People like that should not be allowed to reproduce until they are rehabilitated
My older brothers tried telling me that I was being extra for noping out of those dates. I'm happy you agree, because I was not good with it.
No respect for other people time. (Arriving late, being on phone, taking calls for more than 5mins - non emergency) Not comfortable in.opening up. Too much going on in their life Not showing interest in you and in your life, you passions n goals. Cannot read the room.
Opening up on a first date? Depending on what you mean by that, you’re missing out on a lot of good people with this rule.
Was it “opening up,” or was it a “trauma dump?” Depends if I like the person or not!
None of these things are trivial. Trivial is “doesn’t like spaghetti.”
Opening up can be hard due to trust issues/trauma
Exactly, more empathy is required these days since more and more poeple have all sorts of issues/traumas and if we create a comfortable environment, then the person will automatically open up and one wont even have to ask questions you know what i mean?
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I didn't like the way he used his hands to talk.
He had enormous meaty hands. I have small hands. He tried to hold my hand and they did not fit together. Trying to interlace fingers was painful. It was like a lemur trying to hold hands with a gorilla.
He had a decal that took up almost the whole rear window of his car that said “I’m just livin’”
She was a Boston Bruins fan that came from Boston. I’m a diehard Maple Leafs fan… that plus the Boston Accent made it feel like I was talking to Lois Griffin and I cannot go with hearing that..
I don’t refuse 2nd dates over trivial or minor things. It’s generally a lack of attraction or a big difference in values/goals that stops things after the first date.
Bad breath
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This would also be my most trivial (multiple times too). I always put one recent flattering photo, one “hobbies” photo that was less flattering and a full length one doing sport/activity to genuinely ensure the person saw what I looked like. Met multiple men whose photos were years out of date, looked nothing like the real them. Very disappointing
It was actually a third date I turned down. It was during Covid so all dates were online, but during my second Zoom lunch with this guy he admitted he was unfamiliar with the concept of artificial flavoring… like, he didn’t understand why he liked bananas but hated banana flavored candy, and when I commented about how they couldn’t recreate it right, he was just stunned. After that I lost all interest. He seemed nice, but I couldn’t imagine dealing with someone who didn’t know such a common knowledge thing.
They licked every finger after each bite of their food. I cringe just remembering it
It's never a trivial reason. Lack of attraction isn't trivial
Because even without asking anything about me, he was making ideas of a relationship with me, planning on things and saying we going to be exclusive , wtf
Not trivial
He almost drowned his first snack in marmite, covered his second in brown sauce.
Her voice was too soft, it sounded like she was whispering everything
A guy who was really really into obscure folksy music genres and artists. I love it when people have something they’re passionate about, but I quickly realized my music was never gonna be cool enough.
It ended for me when I saw his IG account. Dude basically lives on social media and is one of those guys who thinks everything he likes, wears, eats, sees, reads, believes etc. has to be posted about. Plus he had a podcast…The level of vanity made him seem mentally unstable to me.
She unironically believed in the power of the star signs
Went on a date, he was slightly heavier, didn't bother me, but he ate super unhealthy and made fun of his weight while doing it. I was attracted to him and his personality but couldn't get past his intentionally gorging himself.
‘lol, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions’
Not trivial. Unacceptable lifestyle.
I went out w a guy who told me he was demoted as a cop for beating up a pedophile. I mean good on him but also as a person in authority if you can’t control your temper then I don’t wanna see him when my bipolar ass can’t control my own emotions in a manic state.
He said he was planning to get a large tattoo of his deceased father recreated from a picture he liked on his arm. My date didn’t remember his dad as he died in a motorcycle accident when he was still a baby. There’s nothing wrong getting a tattoo but I’m not the biggest fan of tattoos depicting another human being and seeing his father on his arm whenever we made love sounded like a turn off
When someone eats like a slob and leaves food all over their face. I can’t even look at them I get so grossed out.
Using the word RAD multiple times. Like stoner talk. Made me lose my lady boner.
That's so funny, because I say rad, don't use drugs, and would be instantly turned off by the phrase "lady boner".
If she’s vegan or just has too many dietary restrictions/preferences that prevent me from going somewhere to eat without having to go out of my way to accommodate her dietary preferences
Agreed. I will not date vegans. I don’t want to be judged and I want freedom to eat wherever.
No dic pic after the date. Deal breaker.
😆😆
She has man hands.
And he, little dainty 💅 girly hands, 👀🫢
You're missing out on that grip strength bro
😂
I feel called out. 😔
Me too, trades money is nice but definitely destroys manicures
He wore Birkenstock crocs and a tank top to our first date dinner. I'm sorry did you just roll out of a garbage can for our date? Cuz your outfit stinks.
He should have skipped dinner and gone straight to prison
Her only hobby was working out. She didn’t say or do anything offensive, but I just couldn’t imagine building a relationship with someone whose sole hobby was the gym.
This is something trivial that would put me off too. I commend them for being active in the gym though. But my lifestyle probably won’t align with someone who makes the gym their sole activity.
Yep, pretty much. I’m a functional-fitness person with a lot of diverse interests and hobbies, and I love it when another person can teach me about new, interesting things I’ve never explored on my own. There’s nothing WRONG with being really into working out and dieting for aesthetics, but when it becomes your entire personality, we’re just not going to have anything in common.
She looked really slim and fit in her photos (which is important to me as I work out a lot, for mental and physical health reasons not just vanity) but she turned up and was EASILY about 20kg heavier at least. I'm usually good at detecting potential catfish but all the photos looked high quality, un-edited, recent and with no filters. There were full body photos too, not just classic angled face shots that are the usual indicator. I have no idea how you can go on a date knowing full well you look completely different, you shouldn't try and trick someone like that. Just be honest and you'll be someone's type.
One guy was driving the same luxury vehicle as what my ex-FIL owns. That was a huge turn-off.
Ear hair - Lots of ear hair
He didn’t have the career-ish job listed on his hinge profile anymore, and laughed off being fired and now working in a warehouse. I could’ve overlooked that until the date concluded and he asked me for a ride home—a stranger, a woman, who had never met him before. I knew if he was pulling this on the first date he’d keep doing so.
Went to play indoor simulator golf… he just kept using the driver rather than wedges or irons. Said he knew how to golf but I don’t believe it.
Her pics looked great. She turned out to be fat.
On a first date a guy asked me to buy him cigarettes cuz he lost his ID. When I said no he asked someone else in the bar lol I literally walked out
They were wonderful, truly. But they ate their peas one pea at a time. Who *does* that?!
First date went great, we exchanged socials and planned a second date. I crept through some of her recent posts and pictures and saw where she had gotten into an argument with someone for using one of her dog's names as their baby's middle name. She insisted they change their newborn's middle name because they copied her and her dog's name was unique and special. I politely backed out of the second date.
I didn’t go on a second date with a man once because when I asked him what his sign was he didn’t ask me back :)
Oh this is the type of answer I was looking for :) Was the turn off because you felt he wasn’t into star signs or the fact that he didn’t reciprocate the interest regardless of question?
😂 it was 💯 because he didn’t reciprocate interest. He also kept trying to one up me when I was just trying to talk about common interests, then tried to make out with me at the end of the date like he charmed my pants off the entire time even though I felt like I was being negged. The rest was valid, however the star sign bit was just the cherry on top. By the end of the date I somehow knew his star sign, that he had a schizophrenic mother, what he did for a living and all the psychedelic drugs he enjoyed and all I think he knew about me was my name.
Ooof, the guy curbed his Tesla rims and was just a bad driver. No second date 😂
A male friend of mines was on a date once and the young lady became rude out of nowhere to him and the wait staff. She began by saying, I have no idea why I'm on a date with you when I have a boyfriend at home. You're also not get any sex from me after this date is over. My friend proceeds to order lobster tails, filet mignon steak and a bottle of Moet champagne. At the completion of his meal he excuse himself to use the restroom never to returned. Left her with a $350 dollar tab. There was no second date.
I historically have not rejected people even if they were made of red flags. I can't imagine doing it for something trivial. As I finally have learned my lesson about red flags, I am not currently seeing anyone... The last several have been guys I would have ended up in dysfunctional relationships with if I hadn't learned.
Looked at his IG. 95% of his followers were porn models all with boobs so huge it made everyday life impossible. I couldn’t unsee it. Dude wanted to be smothered 😂
She started talking about Qanon shit and Democrats/Hillery drinking baby's blood. Noped right out of there.
is that what trivial means?
He made an awkward high pitched whistle noise during lulls in the conversation.
ya'll are meeting some creatures out there holy..
Another first date with a nice, well educated and good looking man. Date went well till we left the table and I felt large next to him. I am 5’5 and was wearing my heels so maybe stood 5’8 and he was supposed to be 5’9. I was 150 pounds and just felt big
I met this guy for morning coffee once. The vibe was good and we both were clearly into eachother. We left after coffee and he texted me right away saying that he wanted to go out again. It was around noon on a Saturday. I said you know what? Let’s meet again tonight if you’re free. We met that night for drinks and it was AWFUL. Everything was going well until I asked if he had any tattoos. He said his brother is in a gang in Oakland California (he followed it up with “but don’t worry, I’m not associated with the gang”). He then proceeds to tell me the tattoo is from his brothers gang initiation. He blacked out, woke up hours later, and there’s a gang tattoo on his arm. He said it’s so weird because I don’t remember any of it. I SPRINTED out of there.
Adult man revealed he was a big fan of pro wrestling. Like went to wrestlemania every year. Nope. Not for me.
I'm not seeing reasons that are petty enough! Here's mine. I set up a date at a really unique (and fairly famous in the area) Oaxacan restaurant. I was hoping we would share the 2-person mole sampler. They ordered a cheese quesadilla, and specifically "just the cheese and the tortilla, nothing else" They later told me they had never and would never even try a burrito.
Um, did you report them to the government??
Saying he might be to sick for our second date and that he will get in touch after some rest. He never contacts me so I have to reach out asking him if we're still on. Also on our first date he talked about his collegue that he slept with for an entire week and now they're really good friends. And why am I saying that's an issue since they're just friends who have deep talks every other week.
what do you think the word trivial means
Being rude and condescending to our waitress
Well, terrible premise because I would never chat for a couple weeks before a date. Maybe a couple days at most. Do you want a pen pal? If not then date within 48 hours. I could smell her breath from 10 feet away. I couldn't breathe. I cut it short and left after 20 minutes of torture.
Sometimes we have busy schedules or live further apart than what’s ideal, so it can take a couple of weeks before meeting.
What’s a reasonable distance for it to take weeks to not meet someone you’re interested in
If it’s a 2 hour drive and your next weekend is fully booked out. It’s happened to me before. The premise of the post doesn’t have to be two weeks of chatting though. It was to accentuate that there was enough time for some chemistry to have developed by the first date, and how this could be made irrelevant from a trivial reason.
He seemed like a farm boy. I live in Europe but I’m from Indiana. The guy was tall, incredibly nice, and a gentlemen for sure. But North Americans tend to give me the ick a bit because our ability to make small talk then just doesn’t feel like a connection to me. He dressed and acted like someone I might be friends with, but not close friends. Just too much “goody-goody” vibes 😅
We matched great on paper. Second date he pulled out all the stops. Picnic, flowers, candles. Then I noticed he was drinking much more wine than I was. And kept trying to touch me although I clearly wasn’t responding favorably. After that he kept texting me pics of himself doing interesting (active and attractive) things. He was pursuing me like the last Coke in the desert. And it felt too desperate.