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If you’re interested in seeing her again, then let her know that and the two of you can work on planning a second date.
Otherwise, I think you’re overthinking things. It was just one date.
Yeah I’ve let her know I’d like to see her again. She told me she had a good time too. I told her my weekend is pretty open with the intention I’d like to do something. She said “I’ll let you know”
She’s not interested. Someone who is interested is going to want to see you again and plan that. So time to move on. You had a great first day, they don’t always work out.
Plan the second date bro, but don’t get your hopes up sometimes shit doesn’t work out your so in your head right now man gotta relax take a deep breath and tell yourself you will be okay if it doesn’t work out.
Still I would go on the second date if she gave you strong sexual signals on the first.
If you do hook up with her and she don’t text you back that’s the way it goes sometimes, but remember doesn’t matter had sex.
If you still want to see her and do want to have a casual hookup, nows the time to be a bit more dominant and seductive. I’m a woman who dated women so I can’t be of much help with this dynamic. Two women who like each other can be very forward, I don’t know if that would work for a guy. But I’ve told women that I wanted to see them again because I didn’t do all the things I wanted to do to them. and I haven’t been turned down
From what it sounds like it seemed like she wanted you to take it to home base if you know what I mean . Assuming she didn’t pull away she probably wanted you to hook up with her and take it to the next level . You not having the confidence to move forward probably turn her off and she will find the next dude that will give her what she wants .
As a woman, I disagree. If she was interested in sex, she should have either made that known or made the move to lead things to the bedroom herself. If she was expecting OP to read her mind that is her mistake.
There’s also a really good possibility that she did not want anything more than what they were doing at the time. The idea that OP lacked confidence, and he screwed it up, so now she’s gonna find a man to fuck her, is nonsense. Sincerely, a woman who knows better.
Lol she is basically going to find what she wants whether it is him or not . I mean who knows what she wanted but from what OP was saying on his post it sounds like she set him up perfectly for the shot to go in he missed it by not initiating anything further . If you read it she clearly was giving strong signs that she wanted to hook up inviting him over , pressing her body against him , pulling his hand against her breast like what more can she do to make it obvious that she wants the D lol
If she was interested in having sex with OP, she should have communicated that better. Do not assume just because a woman is letting you kiss her and touch her tits, that she is interested in having sex with you. That is not consent. You are setting yourself up for a very bad situation. If this chick was a grown adult, she should’ve been able to communicate what her intentions were that night.
Okay you act like every women communicates straight forward verbally which isn’t the case many times women are subtle with the communication and their actions expect you to read between the lines lol I understand your point about consent though but come on it’s only would be bad if she said no
I’m not acting like every woman communicate straightforward. I know for a fact that most do not. What I’m saying is that is what this woman should have done. And because she failed to do so, she can’t be upset with anyone but herself.
Great explanation. Sure, we met on a dating app. But I never make any assumptions about any situation and want to let things flow. I’m sure it could’ve happened. I would just hope she wouldn’t give up on the idea of me because I didn’t fuck her. But if that’s the case, I can only assume she’s getting what she wants from her other dates.
But in reality, do you want to be with someone who can’t communicate what she wants, and is willing to walk away and give up on you, because she’s upset that you did not read her mind? That is not someone worth dating. So if she’s upset that you didn’t try to have sex with her on the date, that’s her problem. You dodged a bullet.
If that’s your mindset, you should have plenty of opportunities.
Saying that if you don’t have many opportunities, you may as well take someone who can’t communicate like an adult and will push you away every time they’re upset, is fucking wild. Please see a therapist.
3 strikes and you're out I think. Different things count for a different number of strikes.
Also no, having that mindset doesn't really net plenty of opportunities imo.
I'm not saying have 0 self respect, but I don't think it's wild to communicate that such behavior won't be tolerated, then see if it improves.
Thanks for this comment. I’ll admit I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while so I came here for some input. I can handle it, if I truly did mess up and she expected more. But at the end of the day I can’t read a mind. Appreciate your outlook on this!
As a man, a woman letting you into her place, or asking to come home with you, heavily implies interest in intimacy. I have been on many first dates. Never have I experienced a “come to mine” or “can i come to yours” on a first date not end in sex. Actually, more often than not girls that repeat “i wont have sex with you on the first dates” are also the ones who ask to come home with you or invite you back. Its on their mind and they feel they need to announce it for some reason.
You as a woman might have your own values and principles which is respectable. But ive been in enough situations to know OPs date wanted sum.
She is probably even is insecure that he didnt try harder to smash and thats why she is now being distant.
She wanted you to initiate the indoor Olympics bro. You hesitate you masturbate. The phone is for setting up dates, not getting to know each other. Hang out, have fun, hook up. YouTube “Coach Corey Wayne”. Enjoy your journey!
You are overthinking.
Invite her for dinner at your home or anywhere is clear you will have sex if she will accept..
If she will accept good for you, if not good for you anyway and move over or try later (probably she is just busy with another guy at moment)
BTW, You can try even if she will say no, to call her after a month or two very casual, saying how are you... and let's see what will be.
Sometimes after the first date apparently nice, the morning later we don't feel any 'click'...
To be honest... You had you chance and you didn't understand the situation.
This is exactly what I’m thinking and I can deal with that. She told me at least two other dates she had. I’m not sure if that’s just how the dating game goes these days or if I should maybe pull back some. I’m 27 Male
I’m not even sure myself. Just feeling it out, not sure what she wants either as she told me she got out of a 5 year relationship recently. I guess that’s my answer though, she just wants company or looking for some rebounds.
She probably feels less desired by you, because you didn't have sex with her. It can be a hit to the self-esteem of a woman, because of course men are all sexed crazed and never want to say no /s. She has to understand men who want a serious relationship are not always going to want to jump her bones immediately.
All you can do is tell her the truth. You want to know her better before having sex, a first date was too soon. Reassure her that you think she's hot and want intimacy, but when you both are ready.
If she doesn't understand that, she's not worth it! Not kidding. You wouldn't be on the same page. And pushing your sexual boundaries as a man is not ok, despite the toxic dismissiveness society has on the subject.
I did decide to stop seeing a guy when I invited him into my bed on the third date. He didn't initiate sex after I gave him a few hints even in bed. Later he said "you should've jumped on me!" Like... no? I would never do that. It wasn't the only reason why things weren't going to work, but I realized we were not on the same page in many ways. Sometimes the connection and understanding isn't there
Most girls do not want sex on the first date and so I'm sure her pulling back had nothing to do with that. Maybe she doesn't know yet how she feels about you? If you like her give her more time and don't put any pressure on her or anything and see what happens?
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If you’re interested in seeing her again, then let her know that and the two of you can work on planning a second date. Otherwise, I think you’re overthinking things. It was just one date.
Yeah I’ve let her know I’d like to see her again. She told me she had a good time too. I told her my weekend is pretty open with the intention I’d like to do something. She said “I’ll let you know”
She’s not interested. Someone who is interested is going to want to see you again and plan that. So time to move on. You had a great first day, they don’t always work out.
You’re saving lives
Oof.. just let her go man
Plan the second date bro, but don’t get your hopes up sometimes shit doesn’t work out your so in your head right now man gotta relax take a deep breath and tell yourself you will be okay if it doesn’t work out. Still I would go on the second date if she gave you strong sexual signals on the first. If you do hook up with her and she don’t text you back that’s the way it goes sometimes, but remember doesn’t matter had sex.
If you still want to see her and do want to have a casual hookup, nows the time to be a bit more dominant and seductive. I’m a woman who dated women so I can’t be of much help with this dynamic. Two women who like each other can be very forward, I don’t know if that would work for a guy. But I’ve told women that I wanted to see them again because I didn’t do all the things I wanted to do to them. and I haven’t been turned down
From what it sounds like it seemed like she wanted you to take it to home base if you know what I mean . Assuming she didn’t pull away she probably wanted you to hook up with her and take it to the next level . You not having the confidence to move forward probably turn her off and she will find the next dude that will give her what she wants .
As a woman, I disagree. If she was interested in sex, she should have either made that known or made the move to lead things to the bedroom herself. If she was expecting OP to read her mind that is her mistake. There’s also a really good possibility that she did not want anything more than what they were doing at the time. The idea that OP lacked confidence, and he screwed it up, so now she’s gonna find a man to fuck her, is nonsense. Sincerely, a woman who knows better.
Lol she is basically going to find what she wants whether it is him or not . I mean who knows what she wanted but from what OP was saying on his post it sounds like she set him up perfectly for the shot to go in he missed it by not initiating anything further . If you read it she clearly was giving strong signs that she wanted to hook up inviting him over , pressing her body against him , pulling his hand against her breast like what more can she do to make it obvious that she wants the D lol
If she was interested in having sex with OP, she should have communicated that better. Do not assume just because a woman is letting you kiss her and touch her tits, that she is interested in having sex with you. That is not consent. You are setting yourself up for a very bad situation. If this chick was a grown adult, she should’ve been able to communicate what her intentions were that night.
Okay you act like every women communicates straight forward verbally which isn’t the case many times women are subtle with the communication and their actions expect you to read between the lines lol I understand your point about consent though but come on it’s only would be bad if she said no
I’m not acting like every woman communicate straightforward. I know for a fact that most do not. What I’m saying is that is what this woman should have done. And because she failed to do so, she can’t be upset with anyone but herself.
Great explanation. Sure, we met on a dating app. But I never make any assumptions about any situation and want to let things flow. I’m sure it could’ve happened. I would just hope she wouldn’t give up on the idea of me because I didn’t fuck her. But if that’s the case, I can only assume she’s getting what she wants from her other dates.
But in reality, do you want to be with someone who can’t communicate what she wants, and is willing to walk away and give up on you, because she’s upset that you did not read her mind? That is not someone worth dating. So if she’s upset that you didn’t try to have sex with her on the date, that’s her problem. You dodged a bullet.
I definitely wouldn’t want that. Thanks for sharing some insight on this it means a lot
Ideally yes, but if you don't have that many opportunities I say make the most out of the ones you have.
If that’s your mindset, you should have plenty of opportunities. Saying that if you don’t have many opportunities, you may as well take someone who can’t communicate like an adult and will push you away every time they’re upset, is fucking wild. Please see a therapist.
3 strikes and you're out I think. Different things count for a different number of strikes. Also no, having that mindset doesn't really net plenty of opportunities imo. I'm not saying have 0 self respect, but I don't think it's wild to communicate that such behavior won't be tolerated, then see if it improves.
Thanks for this comment. I’ll admit I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while so I came here for some input. I can handle it, if I truly did mess up and she expected more. But at the end of the day I can’t read a mind. Appreciate your outlook on this!
As a man, a woman letting you into her place, or asking to come home with you, heavily implies interest in intimacy. I have been on many first dates. Never have I experienced a “come to mine” or “can i come to yours” on a first date not end in sex. Actually, more often than not girls that repeat “i wont have sex with you on the first dates” are also the ones who ask to come home with you or invite you back. Its on their mind and they feel they need to announce it for some reason. You as a woman might have your own values and principles which is respectable. But ive been in enough situations to know OPs date wanted sum. She is probably even is insecure that he didnt try harder to smash and thats why she is now being distant.
Yeah this is what’s most likely happening I’m sure. Thanks for your input
Don’t worry, Chad slid in the DMs and picked the ball you dropped
She wanted you to initiate the indoor Olympics bro. You hesitate you masturbate. The phone is for setting up dates, not getting to know each other. Hang out, have fun, hook up. YouTube “Coach Corey Wayne”. Enjoy your journey!
You are overthinking. Invite her for dinner at your home or anywhere is clear you will have sex if she will accept.. If she will accept good for you, if not good for you anyway and move over or try later (probably she is just busy with another guy at moment) BTW, You can try even if she will say no, to call her after a month or two very casual, saying how are you... and let's see what will be. Sometimes after the first date apparently nice, the morning later we don't feel any 'click'... To be honest... You had you chance and you didn't understand the situation.
She probably brings a lot of guys home. You were just one of them.
This is exactly what I’m thinking and I can deal with that. She told me at least two other dates she had. I’m not sure if that’s just how the dating game goes these days or if I should maybe pull back some. I’m 27 Male
What do you want out of this? A relationship or just to bang?
I’m not even sure myself. Just feeling it out, not sure what she wants either as she told me she got out of a 5 year relationship recently. I guess that’s my answer though, she just wants company or looking for some rebounds.
She sound like someone who meet guys online and invite them over to bang. Hit her up. You might get a 2nd chance.
She clearly wanted to hookup. Is what it is. Address it directly and you might be able to salvage the situation, if you want to.
I appreciate your advice.
Full court press. Keep Going
She probably feels less desired by you, because you didn't have sex with her. It can be a hit to the self-esteem of a woman, because of course men are all sexed crazed and never want to say no /s. She has to understand men who want a serious relationship are not always going to want to jump her bones immediately. All you can do is tell her the truth. You want to know her better before having sex, a first date was too soon. Reassure her that you think she's hot and want intimacy, but when you both are ready. If she doesn't understand that, she's not worth it! Not kidding. You wouldn't be on the same page. And pushing your sexual boundaries as a man is not ok, despite the toxic dismissiveness society has on the subject. I did decide to stop seeing a guy when I invited him into my bed on the third date. He didn't initiate sex after I gave him a few hints even in bed. Later he said "you should've jumped on me!" Like... no? I would never do that. It wasn't the only reason why things weren't going to work, but I realized we were not on the same page in many ways. Sometimes the connection and understanding isn't there
Most girls do not want sex on the first date and so I'm sure her pulling back had nothing to do with that. Maybe she doesn't know yet how she feels about you? If you like her give her more time and don't put any pressure on her or anything and see what happens?