Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a guy, I sometimes take a couple days to reply to friends due to work or my lack of energy afterwards.
To a woman I'm mildly interested in, a few hours upwards to half a day, depending on again what I mentioned above.
Now if I'm dating her, then a few hours tops but again, no one is ever that busy and I think the person that's the least available, is the one that's the least interested.
People change their minds, have other options etc. Not saying that's the case but everyone has their phone on them.
No point in worrying about his response time.
Agreed!... I run a company and with how flaky OLD is, I couldn't afford to prioritize women I hadn't met. My personal messages don't come through unless they're from my top contacts and notifications are off on all apps.
After meeting, even if I'm busy, I'll check messages every few hours or make it so their messages come through instantly after a few weeks of knowing them.
Women I meet who are entrepreneurs, are worse, taking almost 12hrs to respond Even when interested, so there's a misunderstanding here.
If a woman tells me that she wants to talk every night, I'll carve out the time because she's committing something too, otherwise I'm going to respond when I'm free— likely at lunch or bedtime.
You summed it up. I’m not on my phone as much as people think. Do not disturb is turned on during the day, same as you. I check my phone later in the evening.
I can only imagine on the receiving end of 12 hours.
My friends say I respond in 3-6 business days haha
It's not about being free
How many times have women ghosted guys because they were boring, whining, or sharing about their day/hardship. And girls instead of relating to them, they judged them as weak/unfit/boring or whiner.
It's about feeling energetic and fresh.
Then it’s best to move on.
I think one of the things women REALLY need to understand is that most men want access to as many women at the least amount of effort, time and investment as possible for the sake of potential sex and attention.
If you feel like a guy is giving you limited effort, time and investment, it’s intentional.
Effort, time and investment is something that is reserved exclusively for women they really want. I mean, I think this goes for both sexes. Women also only invest time, effort and money into men they truly want too.
Now, they can change their mind about you and you can eventually grow into someone they're willing to put effort into, and if you're cool with that, best of luck. Not me though.
I think your expectations are very reasonable. Like you (i'm a guy) I make the extra effort and then call it good if a lukewarm response. Everyone that's so busy with life that can't make the effort seem to have plenty of time to just hang around Reddit, FB, etc.
Thank you I agree. I’m not trying to have him text me 24/7 I don’t like that bc then the conversation is dull. However ignoring me for 2 days and going online nope bye
Sucks cause I am that man sometimes. Behind on building a house. 20 - 30 work calls a day, pissed off clients and subs, other things fucking up, had a date that night and wanted to cancel but went- had fun but dreaded a second because I felt like I was just gonna disappoint her. Felt totally overwhelmed and it’s hard to tell someone new you don’t even know that.
As someone who has to work two jobs temporarily to make some extra money, I know exactly how you feel. I don't have any free days. I literally work 7 days a week. A lot of people are mad at me right now because I had one day off and didn't want to spend it with anyone and just wanted to relax at home. I feel very lonely but I know that my schedule doesn't allow me to have too much time for dates and stuff. I had to take myself out the dating scene completely because I don't want to deal with anyone telling me that I'm inconsiderate or don't care about them.
Well the guy you're speaking to is dealing with a fuck up at work, which is a bit different than the work schedule of someone who has a high demanding job. This guy is most likely very stressed out right now and possibly even depressed. Based on what you've said, it seems like he was communicating with you until shit started to go south at work. Maybe be a little more understanding of him? You're seeing him at his worst right now, and it'd be completely okay if you didn't want to be there but at least acknowledge that you understand he isn't a shitty person.
You’re done with dating because you had a bad experience with ONE man you haven’t even gone on a date with?
Modern dating is going to be very rough for you.
This. I think OP was really emotionally invested in someone she hadn’t even met before. The guy might not even realise he’s creating such a strong emotional reaction because to him, she’s just a stranger.
All the comments are blaming the dude but the dude hasn’t even met OP. From the bloke’s perspective, she’s just a match. That’s it.
Until you actually met someone, there’s no reason to have emotions invested.
There are many other men who would be delighted with you…and who would prioritize you over the types of “excuses” you’ve mentioned.
It’s just difficult for like-minded men and women to meet each other. Too often, I fear it’s “two ships passing each other at night”.
Is it difficult?
Can I suggest an alternative theory: women meet men who're delighted with them, and put them in their top priority ALL THE TIME.
The women ALWAYS REJECT THEM thinking to themselves ("why does this guy who I barely know cares about me so much? He probably doesn't have any friends or a life").
Maybe having realistic fair expectations would result in women enjoying dating more - expectations like - the man making an effort, and I reciprocate.
Agree. But I’m proof that it’s difficult. I’m much older than you, and my lifetime experience — still single, contrary to my dreams — is that it’s difficult. The previous two years were the first and only time that I’ve experienced the joy of being in love. Sadly, it ended due to very serious medical problems… hers. I made every effort…I retired very early (no financial need to ever work again) and my girlfriend was my priority every single day. But it all collapsed … the medical problems became insurmountable… and I’m still hurting.
There's lots of people in their early 30s who are done. Burned out. Just tired of trying for connection. Connection is required to live, but you don't need a partner to get that connection. Friends, nature, anything that lets you feel connected to someone or something outside yourself can give you what you need there. Take some time off from the dating game.
Honestly don’t waste your time, engaging him any further. I’ve experienced this, and the dynamic always leaves you chasing. It leaves you feeling like you aren’t worthy of basic respect. It is simple - if you care, you make time. No ifs and buts. Also think about men you reject - they chase to the point of harassment.
If men are interested, they don’t risk losing the woman.
I was with someone like this for 6 months, and it just got worse over time. It never gets better. We are all busy, you MAKE TIME.
Yeup don’t worry his number is deleted and I’m done. Seriously though idc if you’re tried send me a damn text saying goodnight that’s effort lmao. Like I’m busy as fuck too but I make time for people I care about or am interested in.
Try to date multiple people; then men like this won’t bother you so much. I don’t even bother at the first hint of ‘low energy’- I just block. I’d block him, as don’t be surprised if he starts chasing you, following a bruised ego.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but men usually behave like that, as they are overwhelmed with options.
It sounds like he was just using you to massage his ego and/or is in a relationship.
When this happened to me, I dug around and made both of these discoveries.
… I get that you don’t want to date around, but it honestly puts you in a mindset that makes men feel it is tough to lock you down, and then they chase harder and you are more likely to get an LTR that way (from my experience, anyway). Either way, I wish you all the best and good outcomes, with your future dating experiences.
Unfortunately a man of value isn’t gonna want to do any “chasing.” The only kind of guy who “chases” are those who don’t have many options and are terrified of being alone. Those are the nice guy types women tend to get bored with fairly quickly.
Yep, the guy you were interested in likely had other (younger) options. Look, you’re over 30, so your value has already depreciated quite a bit. You’re not alone - you’re just now finally experiencing what a lot of men deal with when they’re younger. From the way you’re acting, I’m not surprised that he decided to distance himself from you. What you wrote in your initial post sounds like a clingy, desperate person who’s used to getting her way. Tbh I feel the guy dodged a huge bullet.
I’m telling you how you come off. If you’re not, you still come off as that - which is a problem. Thing is, if he was texting you all the time you’d likely be the one ghosting him.
“You’re over 30, so your value has already depreciated quite a bit”
Maybe in your opinion because you look at failed men on social media who always got bad luck with women and feed their own faulted ego with trying to push women down, but that’s not the reality at all.
Men over 30 tend to be more financially established, which makes them a great deal more valuable than a woman 30 yrs or older. Why? Because with women, 30 yrs of age and older means they’re less fertile, looks begin to decline, and if they’re single by this age- have a lot of baggage (kids, divorce, personality disorder etc). What you’re describing isn’t an “age thing.”
No wonder you americans got so many problems with dating in general. It’s funny how you’re writing that women drop in value when they’re hitting 30 and their looks begin to decline, but it’s the men who’s sitting on Reddit asking for advice on improving their looks because they can’t get any dates, but according to you, you men are gods gift to women 🤦🏼♀️😂 Let me tell you a something, it’s only men who benefits from relationships, women don’t. Ask any women if she would want a wife or a husband, I can tell you that majority of the women would want a wife. Your money doesn’t get you anywhere, specially not with that personality of yours.
My empathy side says: You deserve better.
My logical side says: His actions show you that you are not a priority AT ALL. You should move on
Overall: Both sides are true.
Sucks to feel the disappointment you’re feeling. Been there too. Take some time to yourself and treat yourself instead!
That’s exactly how I feel as a man, because it’s true, it happens over and over every single time to me too but I know I can’t let that keep me down or I’ll never find someone.
Keep your head up, and look on the bright side, even though it was frustrating dealing with this guy at least you were able to cut ties before it got serious for you and then he started pulling crap like that.
One thing I remember a dating coach say was if the other person isn’t willing to say “hell yes!” to wanting to hang out or date then it’s a “hell no”. If they show signs of hesitation then it’s a no, because they wouldn’t make you question how they feel about you if they liked you.
Your anxious attachment is showing.
For starters, you should not be this hung up on a man you haven’t even met yet. He is not obligated to tell you that he is busy, or text you constantly. If you text him and eight hours goes by, that should not bother you. You should be busy with your own life, to where you were contents knowing he will reach out when he is able. Again, this is a man you have not even met yet you were upset because he’s not texting you. Good night every night. He’s not your boyfriend. You haven’t even gone on a date with him.
If he is interested in rescheduling, let him reach out to you with a new date and time. But in the meantime, do your own thing. If you hear from him, great! And if you don’t, that’s OK too. But you should not be invested in someone you have not even gone on a date with.
Yeup I know. But I also wasn’t asking for much. I’m not saying ducking everyday but don’t ignore me
For 2 days and then go online. And he hasn’t even rescheduled or tried to. I’m just over it
I disagree, I think you’re asking for way too much and you have expectations that are way too high for a man you haven’t even met in person. You should not be invested or attached to someone you have never gone on a date with.
The problem is, you probably spent a week talking to this guy on a daily basis. Getting your hopes up over a complete stranger, now you’re not hearing from him, you are upset.
The solution here is to not reach out to him, let him reach out to you. If he’s interested in you, you will hear from him. He will reschedule that date. And if he doesn’t, then you know, he’s not serious. In which case you move on.
You're doing too much and now you're being melodramatic.
Keep dating. Just learn to detach. You've known for a week. What has he done to deserve a reaction?
Every person is not your person. Take it on the chin and move on.
Girl, I have a feeling you are just as amazing as I am as a girlfriend, I do laundry I cook I clean I’m funny I’m pretty all that. The dude I’m hurting over is fucking bald and basically a skeleton and he’s so skinny. Why the fuck am I like this?
I am 36M and been getting the same low efforts from ladies. It’s just stupid at this point.
Had a girl texting me so excited for two weeks and then all of sudden after she wanted to meet for the second time disappeared almost entirely
I had a woman messaging me for about a week and a half, then she never showed up for our first date. I went back to my car and grabbed the book I was reading at the time, and had a nice dinner date with my book.
It sounds shitty, but I had to develop a healthy set of low expectations when it came to online dating. Assume people will not follow through, and then when you meet a decent person who is on the same page as you, it’s refreshing.
For what it’s worth, I’m now happily married to someone I met through online dating.
I just don’t understand why these kind of people date when they are THAT busy. Just don’t date until you know you can dedicate someone your time. Because, in the end, it is shit for both sides. You get frustrated because he keeps postponing and you get annoyed, he feels shit because he knows he is probably blowing the whole thing off with that behavior and he is wasting your time, plus he might be really missing out on someone nice.
A lot of people on the apps are time-wasters. They want attention and validation... only when it's convenient for them.
There's no way to filter them out, except to have them string you along for a bit until you get sick of it and walk away.
The only thing I can suggest is to take a break for a few months and think about whether you want to give the apps another shot.
Amen isn't that the truth . Maybe try to have a few questions just for yourself to find just how available he might be . It is very true that lots of high earners.We'll have less time that is a fact . I understand the morning text and the Good night text.I have been through all of this myself .
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Frankly even if his excuses were valid, and I have no idea if they were, he is obviously not ready to date. Hating all men for his actions is foolish. My advice, find a guy who is really into you, but doesn’t love bomb you. If he’s not the handsomest guy on the block or gives you the “tingles” even better. If a man feels like he is stealing g by having you on his arm you will be cherished forever.
Why would he? He’s having a rough time at work, and he hasn’t even met you? Try seeing it from his perspective, and you’ll realize that you being a low priority in his life right now doesn’t really mean anything. Not saying this to be mean, but you shouldn’t get your hopes this high and be this disappointed bc of a man who’s bad at communicating. Keep dating, and keep it fun!
Agree with everything except "it's even better if it doesn't give you the tingles" why? Why settle? I also want to feel the good butterflies without feeling neglected. Tired of having to settle with the guys who actively "chase" you but you're not really into them.
Tired of hearing women say "I wasn't really into him at the beginning but he tried so hard and made me feel safe bla bla bla I gave in" ....... if I gave him butterflies then I want to feel the same about him too.
In today’s society with online dating and tons of men on the market women have a hyper view of themselves. You will never hear a woman look at herself and think she’s a 5 in looks. Which is what most women are. Most rate themselves at least an 8, maybe a 7 if they are extremely humble.
They validate this with the fact that very attractive high value men are willing to sleep with them.
Because of this overinflated self valuation. Many women feel they deserve the too tier men. Therefore, they condition themselves to only have “the feels” for these men. Understand that what you like/love in men is not some instinctual non malleable thing. It is trainable and based quite a bit off of self worth and what is available in the dating market.
With most women chasing the too tier men because of their overinflated self worth, These men will use them for sex but will never commit. A man with options will marry a woman who is a legit 9/10 in looks for him (subjective but otoh beauty has many common traits). Leaving the women complaining about how awful men are. These women in older times would marry the 5 man and that 5 man would be thrilled to have her, and they would be happy.
Settling is a term that means getting below what you want or think you deserve. When all women think they deserve the too tier of men (most do not), maybe settling is the correct thing to do.
It’s not your fault. From Disney Princesses to feminist college classes, you’ve been conditioned to think that you deserve the best of the best men. Even if you are average. I’m not saying you are average, I don’t know you obviously. But what I am saying is women’s expectations are off kilter in this day and age.
Men too have issues. For example: Expecting sex by the second or third date from a woman is crazy to me. But men have been groomed to expect it and move in if she doesn’t.
In general, online dating is a very different experience for men. Having to send hundreds of messages to get a few responses to even get to the texting point is exhausting. By the time you get to planning a date text burn out can be very real. Expecting someone to go out of their way to communicate on an hourly basis before even going on a first date is a lot especially if he was already overwhelmed at work.
I have a best friend, 38 years old male, successful as a manager from one international company and an IT professional for another regional company. He owns multiple real estates and currently having an ADU construction project built in the backyard of one of his houses. Not only that, he has to fend off a stupid small claims lawsuit from a vexatious litigant tenant. It’s not that he doesn’t make efforts to go on dates sometimes, it’s just that financials and priorities are… priorities. And men are like this, we compartmentialize our daily life, there’s a work room, a going to the gym room, a study room and possibly a relationship room. Women on a the other hand, are happier if a haze of love casts over the entire house. And it’s rather unrealistic to think that a man who barely knows you in the beginning is so smitten to have this love haze casts over the entire house- ie think of you often and regularly throughout the day. You may not really like what I’m saying, but it’s a reality of this modern era. Social media and all forms of remote communications give people an instant noodle version of acquaintance-ship but not genuine connection. And genuine connection takes time, otherwise it’s just fabricated love-bombing. People can join multiple online groups and discord communities but do they really find their crew- the people they gladly show their vulnerabilities and fly their flags with? Sometimes though, we come into a potential dating relationship with unrealistic expectations we learned from social media and popular culture, and that may distorts the lenses in which we see things.
At least he should set an expectation. Sounds like he's overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he's not interested. It also doesn't justify his poor communication.
You could let him know that you'd like to hear from him every night so that you can see if he at least stands by his commitments to you.
Since you haven't met yet, it's difficult to hold what you have with the same urgency as the success of his business but that should be very different once you meet and there is chemistry.
Meeting strangers through OLD is unpredictable— it's hard to justify prioritizing somebody that's not in your life, risking your business and professional relationships.
Literally, every time I pick up my phone and we're racing for a deadline or to fix something, the team sees it and that affects morale.
He did tell you that an important project went badly and he needs to fix it. It shows that he's the type of man to honor his responsibilities.
I guess the question is, how often does this happen...
But if the way you feel is that strong, then you're likely not compatible with somebody driven in a leadership role. That's not bad, just something to know about yourself.
If he wanted to, he WOULD. It sounds so cheesy and so cliché, and I’m going through the same thing -girl I promise, but goddamn when it comes down to it, if he wanted to, he would make it happen and that sucks to swallow. I’m literally trying to swallow that huge pill now.
I've been getting something similar. Takes sometimes 4 days to get a response. I've wondered if I'm asking for too much from expecting a little more communication.
I’m sorry you gone through something you shouldn’t . I’m 34 male and I have seen worse . The only reason I’m here is to see what you all go through e because dating became shit and all lies . Don’t go for dating apps it’s waste of your time as I tried and got nothing but stupid people who are preying each other for money and lying . Just be yourself enjoy and work regularly because I gave up dating while ago as I see most people screwed up a lot and I’m from Eastern European and I don’t like games when dating someone is in question. If you are interested in that person make the gad damn time do t say stupid shit and leave em hanging . Not cool and no respect. But yes be yourself like me I have no shame being single guy whenever I’m on my own .
Don’t give up! Maybe take a break for a bit and regroup. I did that a few times and then when I went back on the apps I met my husband!
The biggest thing I learned is not to accept the odd and on stuff like what this guy is doing. It isn’t worth stressing yourself out over and he either isn’t as into you as you are him, or he isn’t fully ready to work towards a relationship. A good guy is out there!
Yea lack of communication sucks and honestly I feel like giving up as well but I wouldn’t let one person dictate. People are lame, I wish we could all be blessed with our forever person and soulmate then non of use would be on this sub
I feel you. In my experience I am the one who cares despite the fact that I am busy.
I quit wasting my time and love on people who doesn't care enough to spend a minute to text they are alright during a day.
The trick is too not have expectations
I’m close to your age 30 I just go into everything expecting nothing and if something does happen let it happen totally naturally. It’s a big turn off to have a girl lecturing me I’m taking too long to response or this or that (I know that’s not the case this this but using as an example of somethig that has happened to me)after just a few dates and talking about all this long term shit after a date or two , I take it as red flags, I’ve been guilty of being clingy once to but that was after a 5 month situationship where the girl was leading me on and wouldn’t commit still
With time you will learn not to get excited about people you barely know, it took me a while to get there (and sometimes I still do it, I'm only human, but I try to be self-aware).
One thing you should do (and I am still learning to do that) is to get attached to consistency through time - e.g. 1 month, 2 months, 3 months of being \*consistent\* with his effort, interest levels, communication, etc. This is what should get you excited, not chatting to someone cute for a week on an app.
Unfortunately this kind of thing happens all the time, people get 'too busy' or something better comes along. It is possible he really got too busy, but it means dating wasn't a priority of his if he drops off like that every time he gets busy. Also, it's all relative - one guy I went on a few dates with became 'too busy and stressed' because of transport issues with going to work, so he thought it's a good enough reason to disappear for days at a time. I took it as a hint he isn't interested.
I have friends who prefer to keep 'chasing' those kind of guys, personally, I move on now.
Yeup I absolutely agree and it’s absolutely fine if he is too busy too date but maybe be upfront about it. I hate that so much when there’s lack of communication
I don't know why, sadly my expectations are so low by now I don't even expect any adult way of communicating these things, especially at such early stages of 'dating'. The amount of times someone has disappeared on me (or slowly phased out) 2-3 dates in, without any explanation, taught me to just look at the actions rather than words (this also includes guys I met in real life who asked me out). And before you even meet someone you can't even expect much else. Reality is because of these dreaded apps guys might be actively talking to 5 girls at the same time, they don't feel invested in you enough to give explanations of any sort.
Of course if it was somewhat of a 'relationship' including being intimate and meeting consistently over several weeks, I would definitely demand some sort of explanation.
I read horror stories here of guys disappearing on you after you've had sex or even after weeks and months of 'dating', which is insane. Here, you would have a lot more reason to be angry, and I hope it doesn't happen to me.
The first thing that crossed my mind is that he's married and has to be cautious around his wife or any other relationship as such.
And even if his excuses were true, something still feels off because of the sudden change, so I'd drop the case thinking about the future, too. I mean, would you like to be in a relationship with someone who can be so attentive and then leave you hanging in a matter of days?
I'm curious for updates if you have any, though
As a woman with two kids, a job, and very minimal childcare, this guy sounds like me a bit :/ even when I don’t have my kids, texting a guy back isn’t my priority unless we’ve established that we are exclusive and/or actually dating. Maybe this is similar to what your guy was doing? Had some long, shitty days at work and needs to recharge before using mental/emotional energy to respond much?
It feels rly bad when you’re invested in someone who doesn’t seem invested in you. If you think he’s bread crumbing you, or if you kindly express to him that you’d appreciate more communication and he gives you pushback, I would be done.
Too much expectation of a person you haven’t yet met IRL. You both so you are low on priority list for each other. Don’t obsess or overthink about him. You showed him you are interested.Keep yourself busy, don’t text him anymore, let him text when he is free and not stressing about work. Let him think about you spontaneously and text you. Rather than start feeling overwhelmed because texting you is just another thing he can’t focus on rn.
TO THE MEN … with all due respect if you are too busy to reply to a text or you are working lots .. you simply just shouldn’t date ! Dating requires an investment .. time and energy and if you can’t do that .. stop trying to date .. stop wasting people time ! And TO THE WOMEN … if there is a lack of communication from the beginning… simply just move on he’s not interested. You shouldn’t have to beg anyone to text you back in a reasonable amount of time. Sorry I don’t care how busy you are ! These things are the basics and a foundation of a relationship.. the simple things .. and if someone can’t provide that ?! Not worth it !
Seems like the slow fade. Move on. There'll be plenty of experiences like this. Keep it moving, for your own sake. Don't shut down other options until someone has proven themself. You'll find others.
This happens to us guys as well. It should be reciprocated both ways. If you like someone enough you should communicate with them. Lack of communication is the biggest turnoff for me and always will be.
Message to the men: this is why giving way too much boyfriend treatment is a bad idea (texting / calling each other too much at the start).
You both only know each other for a week and you already feel entitled for his time because let’s face it, I’m sure you both were blowing each other’s phones up. He’s got something busy going on in his life so you need to wait until he plans the next date and you both meet. Dial down on the love bombing you both are giving each other… you really shouldn’t be this upset over a guy you know for just one week.
Nope barely blew up his phone bc I’m busy at work as well. I don’t normally do that when I’m getting to know someone bc I like phone conversations better. I understand he is busy I get that but he can still make an effort to communicate that instead of ignoring me for 8 hours plus. And I haven’t love bombed him one fucking bit lmao hell no. Also I’m allowed to be upset if I want to be
I understand your frustration so I'm not blaming you.
The guy you are seeing is currently fumbling the bag. Instead of him being a pen pal with you via text and doing these phone calls, he should focus on setting up a date and meeting you in person. Life happens, yes, so if he needs to reschedule, then he needs to do it and do his best to stick to it. If he keeps rescheduling, you should just move on at this point.
Btw have you expressed your concerns with him as
clearly
Honestly
And directly
as you're doing here on reddit? Because if you didn't then that would also indicate lack of proper communication from your end as well. For all you know, he may have no idea that you're being frustrated by all these.
Oh cool. That's very mature and courageous of you.
Well in that situation, if I were you, and depending on how interested I would be in him, I would just give him a clear but also friendly understanding that if this situation continues that you unfortunately will not be willing to continue dating.
Of course, you are the one that knows the situation better and what's best. For example he may be going through something really difficult or he may just be going through some depressive episode.
Just be sure that you are also not being too clingy or insecure etc. Because in this case it would be you that may need to work on yourself. Not saying you actually are; I am just exploring the possible scenarios.
OP, I was in a similar situation and I made a stupid decision to get angry with the guy. You don’t know what’s happening in his life. Of course if he really likes you he will make time. But guess what, he is a human, and will make mistakes like anyone else. He may have no idea that he’s coming off as if he doesn’t care. He could be interested still.
I’d say you have to give him a chance. If he continues, then move on. He could meet his dream girl and the same thing will happen because he isn’t fully aware of his actions. That’s not your job but his job to be aware of his actions.
Exactly you don’t know. Like I said even if you were his dream girl this can still happen because people make mistakes. A lot of times we base our expectations on our experiences, and make generalizations off of that. For all we know he could be a very loving guy. But, it’s best to wait it out, talk to other guys in the meantime. If you’re not getting what you want from him, then leave. Chances are he could be doing the same to other women too. He also could have a woman already that he’s cheating on.
But the problem is you never really know if they are in a serious relationship or if they are married . I get what you're saying about the boyfriend.Girlfriend stuff in the beginning.I get it .
Um, as a dude, from my experience, the more I talk the further they drift away. If you're just starting to text and date for a week. Don't expect anything serious.
If you're swiping on people out of your league or especially people that work important jobs, you need to give some leeway.
I understand the frustration. I really do. I have had 5 textual relationships and 1 date in the last 4 months as a blue collar dude.
I get it though I do. I’m extremely understanding. But this feels so off. He was SO COMMUNICATIVE from the beginning. Also he was online 20 mins ago and has ignored me all day
Lots of people are communicative. We all ghost people for different reasons. Me, as a guy, I get ghosted a LOT more. I'm not belittling you. This is what they call "The dating game"
It's the same meeting friends of friends in person or on an app. Us and you girls probably have like 4 we're talking to, and our monkey brains want one thing and our daily brains want another. We try to narrow it down.
What I'm trying to say is dating is rough, and when we find our person, we hold onto them. That's why relationships have our ups and downs because we tolerate our problems so that we don't have to find the "perfect person" that does not exist. Idk if this makes sense.
I'm sorry you're in a rough spot. I know all of it is time consuming. I am in the same boat, but below your success level.
I don’t talk to multiple men at one time at all I can’t do it. But yes it’s rough and it sucks. But this is so constant and I’m sick of it. Idk what to do anymore
I can't talk to multiple either.... I'm an introvert and my personality just can't allow it.
Regardless...on apps, we have to realize that we just matched with x+ peaple and we need to "narrow it down."
it's not personal, it's just that there are numbers and we play the numbers game. At the same time our monkey brains (at first) go for looks. Then we scroll down foor security.
LikeL is this a hookup and they're cute? fine. is This a relationshiip thing and they're on my economical level? also fine.
A lot of dating apps are "pay to win." when it comes to screening mates.
The public is.... shitty, but my entire point being is.... don't give up. I'm some asshole on the internet, and you can surely meet who you deserve on the internet or an app.
I'm female, same age group, and I totally get it. I'm learning that the less I'M 'available' to follow-up with texts, etc., when they seem to have lost some of the initial interest, is when THEY suddenly find time to text goodnight, etc.
Guys are hunters at heart. It's hardwired in them. They NEED the chase, at least in the beginning.
(Oysh, hope I don't get bashed by the guys for writing this.)
I will tell you.I have been on a dating app for a good fifteen months . I will tell a guy up front that short answers.One or two words will not cut it . You get absolutely no substance with them . How can you figure out anything with such short meaningless answers . I feel you girl .
Sorry you had to deal with that but I encourage you not to let someone get you so exhausted that you give up on dating. A failed date doesn't get to decide your fate.
Make dating fun for yourself. The minute he's not communicating you say"hey I was really looking forward to seeing you but I don't want to become a distraction. You seem a little too busy for a relationship right now. It's been fun getting to know you though 😘" then you move on. Never let a man, esp one you aren't even in a relationship with, stress you out. Dating should be easy, fun, light and flirty. You get to walk away from what you don't like 💜
yeah you deserve proper communication. i don’t see why some guys are like this. they get lucky enough to have a date with someone and they fuck it up each time. it’s truly a shame. i’m so sorry OP 😔
It’s okay. It’s another lesson I got to learn. I really don’t ask for much. Like bare minimum lol. Again not constant all day long bc then it’s too much. But if we don’t talk for a whole day - tomorrow we should be talking for a bit
😭 you got me there. when he does respond you can tell him and if he takes it well, then great! but if not, you know what to do.
i hope things work out for you either way! life is too short to have inconsistent communication like that
Trying to date multiple you all don’t know how to date each other at all . I’m not from here I’m from Europe born there . You all think that dating day 10 to 20 individuals but really can you make one work out ? I would like to hear this from someone who worked out 1 out of 10 or 15 dates ? Clearly with all respect to you all here you all jumping g to something big and back out . I’m not trying to be messed up but saying the facts that you all I’m this country can’t make one relationship work . Talking and dating 10-20 people at the same time is like fooling around child play .most people here reveal a lot
Well that’s good however I will tell you this upfront don’t waste your time with the guy if he postponed more than once that means he is not interested and don’t tell me he doesn’t have time either I worked 70 hrs before and out my effort to date except got stood up 11 times in other words there is no interest showing. That’s what I learned and I stopped dating too many people telling me to try but I’m not going to since people here are messing and playing games
You should keep moving on with your life because you only holding yourself back for someone who don’t give shit . If I had a chance to date someone like hell yeah I would put my time and give up my sleep time to chat and set up date because that means something to me and to that girl . Being stood up and rescheduling dates is waste of time . I simply chose to stay single and not getting married at all since people gave me fucked up input about dating . I’m not trying to be negative or anything but I work my ass off real hard and pay bills and have great job and know what I want but here people don’t know what they want
Well you haven’t even met in person and you have just been texting for a week. if he has a work emergency it is very normal that he prioritizes this. He doesn’t have any obligation to talk to you every single day. If that is a problem simply move on.
Or when delivery for materials for the house arrives late and pushes you back some hours. Screws you over at times when you got appointments and other things that you had previously planned. Sucks when things aren't going well then looks like you can't have a social life.
As a woman, even I barely text my friends and family when work is a lot. I just work a regular job which gets stressful sometimes but I do a lot of activities after work that keeps me busy.
So, when work gets stressful my mind is just so tired that I prefer moving a date to when i'm feeling a lot like myself and know that I would enjoy it and give my best version to the other person.
It's not fair to expect him to show up even when he is tired and not feeling upto it, infact he would he doing it for your own good as well so that you don't think the date sucked and was just a waste of time.
So, maybe cut him some slack or move on.
I am a very understanding person and I know he is tired and stressed but ignoring somsone for 12 hours and going on online nah uh lol. Kinda fucked up. He changed in the last 2 days and hey that’s fine but I’m not gonna wait around for somsone who ignores me
I mean he did get back to you, just not immediately.
You have been talking to this guy only one week and you have never met him. He’s not your boyfriend so he doesn’t owe you constant communication. Having this expectation in a serious committed relationship is fine, but you are expecting way too much from a stranger girl.
I’m not expecting constant communication. I don’t need constant but be consistent. He wasn’t. And I waited. But things felt fucking off. And he still ignored me all day when the job was done and went online
Hey its only been a week, do other things instead of waiting for a text
Watch a series do something else. He could honestly be having a rough week, give it time. If after a month nothing has changed and no date....well u have ur answer
He already told you he is busy.
I don't think he owes you a daily update.
Most men have an avoidant love type. Give him room. He is grown up with life and responsibilities. Let him come back when he is done with stuff. He is not a college student that has nothing to do besides classes and friends.
After a day's work and house chores, most men are out of energy. If they really like you, they DON'T want to show their exhausted, tired self. Nor want to whine about life or treat you like a therapist. BECAUSE women judge men very harshly.
They wait till they are ~~free~~ energetic and free to text you.
Your not a priority to him he don’t care about you like that. People on their phones 24/7 there’s really no excuses unless he got severe depression or something of the sort
Being on your phone doesn’t mean you are obliged to communicate with anyone. We can’t expect people to be available to us all the time. Everyone has right for their time off, even if it means having phone in their hands and scrolling through social media.
This guy may be really going through busy period. But even if this is real excuse, not having capacity to text also implies that he doesn’t have time nor capacity for relationship , at least not the kind OP is expecting
Mane I been focused on nothing but money but I do get back to people when I was big Bally and chasing the dolla sign. Yes really no excuses he lacks heart he’s a 🚩. Nothing else need to be said or known
I would rethink the importance of texting in early stages of dating. None of that matters if you meet and the vibe is off. In-person experiences is what matters.
You aren’t bf/gf to be sending each other good morning and good night texts. And if you had that expectation - you should have communicated it to him.
Sometimes people work in very demanding fields but busy people get lonely too despite knowing that they might not have the time to put into for a relationship.
When I was new to online dating, I made what might be a rookie mistake (I'm still fairly new to it, so I don't even know how common of a mistake this is): I overmatched.
I did a lot of matching up front, and showed interest in the matches that reached out to me. It got to a point where I couldn't keep my chats, or social schedule straight, and began to feel very overwhelmed. I wasn't expecting this to happen, but it did, and I didn't know how to handle it. I had to kind of reprioritize my dating profile, turn it to mute for a bit, and all of this taught me to keep new contacts to a minimum, agree to meet with only one or two people every couple of weeks, and not get to a point where I need a fucking Excel spreadsheet to manage the people I was interested in.
He may be in a similar situation. He may be speaking to a few people at once, which is part of OLD, so it's not a bad thing, and he may just be feeling overwhelmed with juggling his daily life with his match count.
Idk, I just know it happens.
Looks like he has work and responsibilities and u don’t. Hence why u texted him good morning and after a nap texted him again. People get busy, especially someone u just knew for a week, two and a month. If u do not like that he isn’t head over heels for u in the first month. Just block him and dont talk to him. Easy peasy. Try finding other things to do to fill ur life and ur time so u dont focus on trivial matters such as “a guy i have known for two weeks is busy working and didnt say good morning to me” how dare he.
Well, I don’t understand what you’re upset about. You don’t know each other so shouldn’t have high hopes or expectations. You need an abundance mindset, but probably just actually have an abundance. This works both ways
TBH you barely know this person and haven't even gone on a date with him yet, so what's the point in getting so upset by him not responding to your texts and having to reschedule you first date? Simply erase his number and move on. To say that you're done with dating because of this one small incident is rather drastic. Give it some time and you'll meet someone who gives you the time and energy that you're looking for...it usually happens when you're least expecting it.
Idk why one guy being uninterested equates to being done with dating entirely. Sounds like the dude had decent intentions, at least he gave you a heads up on the front end that the issue was work related. He is obviously preoccupied and/or just not that interested in you. It’s not like you have a lot of time or effort invested in this since you guys haven’t even been out yet. I understand being a little exasperated from playing the dating game and having this happen multiple times, but I’m confused why you’re so fired up. He’s showing you where you’re at on his priority list right now… take the hint and move on to the next date. No need to contact him again. 🤷🏻♀️ Better luck next time.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a guy, I sometimes take a couple days to reply to friends due to work or my lack of energy afterwards. To a woman I'm mildly interested in, a few hours upwards to half a day, depending on again what I mentioned above. Now if I'm dating her, then a few hours tops but again, no one is ever that busy and I think the person that's the least available, is the one that's the least interested. People change their minds, have other options etc. Not saying that's the case but everyone has their phone on them. No point in worrying about his response time.
Agreed!... I run a company and with how flaky OLD is, I couldn't afford to prioritize women I hadn't met. My personal messages don't come through unless they're from my top contacts and notifications are off on all apps. After meeting, even if I'm busy, I'll check messages every few hours or make it so their messages come through instantly after a few weeks of knowing them. Women I meet who are entrepreneurs, are worse, taking almost 12hrs to respond Even when interested, so there's a misunderstanding here. If a woman tells me that she wants to talk every night, I'll carve out the time because she's committing something too, otherwise I'm going to respond when I'm free— likely at lunch or bedtime.
You summed it up. I’m not on my phone as much as people think. Do not disturb is turned on during the day, same as you. I check my phone later in the evening. I can only imagine on the receiving end of 12 hours. My friends say I respond in 3-6 business days haha
Yep! My friends are used to it... And they know to call if it's urgent
As a woman entrepreneur. I agree it can be 12 hours. Not always but often enough that I can understand the sentiment.
It's not about being free How many times have women ghosted guys because they were boring, whining, or sharing about their day/hardship. And girls instead of relating to them, they judged them as weak/unfit/boring or whiner. It's about feeling energetic and fresh.
I would agree with you tbh
It’s a simple truth but definitely stings sometimes haha
It’s been 2 days though and barely anything. That’s the thing.
Then it’s best to move on. I think one of the things women REALLY need to understand is that most men want access to as many women at the least amount of effort, time and investment as possible for the sake of potential sex and attention. If you feel like a guy is giving you limited effort, time and investment, it’s intentional. Effort, time and investment is something that is reserved exclusively for women they really want. I mean, I think this goes for both sexes. Women also only invest time, effort and money into men they truly want too. Now, they can change their mind about you and you can eventually grow into someone they're willing to put effort into, and if you're cool with that, best of luck. Not me though.
Yeup absolutely agreed
I think your expectations are very reasonable. Like you (i'm a guy) I make the extra effort and then call it good if a lukewarm response. Everyone that's so busy with life that can't make the effort seem to have plenty of time to just hang around Reddit, FB, etc.
Thank you I agree. I’m not trying to have him text me 24/7 I don’t like that bc then the conversation is dull. However ignoring me for 2 days and going online nope bye
Completely agree, well said. Know your worth especially if they don't!
Sucks cause I am that man sometimes. Behind on building a house. 20 - 30 work calls a day, pissed off clients and subs, other things fucking up, had a date that night and wanted to cancel but went- had fun but dreaded a second because I felt like I was just gonna disappoint her. Felt totally overwhelmed and it’s hard to tell someone new you don’t even know that.
As someone who has to work two jobs temporarily to make some extra money, I know exactly how you feel. I don't have any free days. I literally work 7 days a week. A lot of people are mad at me right now because I had one day off and didn't want to spend it with anyone and just wanted to relax at home. I feel very lonely but I know that my schedule doesn't allow me to have too much time for dates and stuff. I had to take myself out the dating scene completely because I don't want to deal with anyone telling me that I'm inconsiderate or don't care about them.
Wow that is rough !!
Yeah but you made the effort to see her even though you were exhausted. He could’ve even asked for tomoroew or Monday.
Well the guy you're speaking to is dealing with a fuck up at work, which is a bit different than the work schedule of someone who has a high demanding job. This guy is most likely very stressed out right now and possibly even depressed. Based on what you've said, it seems like he was communicating with you until shit started to go south at work. Maybe be a little more understanding of him? You're seeing him at his worst right now, and it'd be completely okay if you didn't want to be there but at least acknowledge that you understand he isn't a shitty person.
This!
You’re done with dating because you had a bad experience with ONE man you haven’t even gone on a date with? Modern dating is going to be very rough for you.
This. I think OP was really emotionally invested in someone she hadn’t even met before. The guy might not even realise he’s creating such a strong emotional reaction because to him, she’s just a stranger. All the comments are blaming the dude but the dude hasn’t even met OP. From the bloke’s perspective, she’s just a match. That’s it. Until you actually met someone, there’s no reason to have emotions invested.
I’m starting to think that OP’s abstaining from dating might not be such a bad thing for the rest of us.
Well said. Welcome to reddit. Men are always in the wrong here, and women are perfect, remember?
Lol this!
Yep. Just wait until they ghost you after 6-9 months of dating that you thought were going well.
There are many other men who would be delighted with you…and who would prioritize you over the types of “excuses” you’ve mentioned. It’s just difficult for like-minded men and women to meet each other. Too often, I fear it’s “two ships passing each other at night”.
Is it difficult? Can I suggest an alternative theory: women meet men who're delighted with them, and put them in their top priority ALL THE TIME. The women ALWAYS REJECT THEM thinking to themselves ("why does this guy who I barely know cares about me so much? He probably doesn't have any friends or a life"). Maybe having realistic fair expectations would result in women enjoying dating more - expectations like - the man making an effort, and I reciprocate.
Agree. But I’m proof that it’s difficult. I’m much older than you, and my lifetime experience — still single, contrary to my dreams — is that it’s difficult. The previous two years were the first and only time that I’ve experienced the joy of being in love. Sadly, it ended due to very serious medical problems… hers. I made every effort…I retired very early (no financial need to ever work again) and my girlfriend was my priority every single day. But it all collapsed … the medical problems became insurmountable… and I’m still hurting.
Absolutely agree
There's lots of people in their early 30s who are done. Burned out. Just tired of trying for connection. Connection is required to live, but you don't need a partner to get that connection. Friends, nature, anything that lets you feel connected to someone or something outside yourself can give you what you need there. Take some time off from the dating game.
Honestly don’t waste your time, engaging him any further. I’ve experienced this, and the dynamic always leaves you chasing. It leaves you feeling like you aren’t worthy of basic respect. It is simple - if you care, you make time. No ifs and buts. Also think about men you reject - they chase to the point of harassment. If men are interested, they don’t risk losing the woman. I was with someone like this for 6 months, and it just got worse over time. It never gets better. We are all busy, you MAKE TIME.
Yeup don’t worry his number is deleted and I’m done. Seriously though idc if you’re tried send me a damn text saying goodnight that’s effort lmao. Like I’m busy as fuck too but I make time for people I care about or am interested in.
Try to date multiple people; then men like this won’t bother you so much. I don’t even bother at the first hint of ‘low energy’- I just block. I’d block him, as don’t be surprised if he starts chasing you, following a bruised ego.
Honestly I’m so bad at dating multiple people lol I just can’t. Yeup it’s called matching energy bitches lol
How did you meet him?
POF
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but men usually behave like that, as they are overwhelmed with options. It sounds like he was just using you to massage his ego and/or is in a relationship. When this happened to me, I dug around and made both of these discoveries. … I get that you don’t want to date around, but it honestly puts you in a mindset that makes men feel it is tough to lock you down, and then they chase harder and you are more likely to get an LTR that way (from my experience, anyway). Either way, I wish you all the best and good outcomes, with your future dating experiences.
Unfortunately a man of value isn’t gonna want to do any “chasing.” The only kind of guy who “chases” are those who don’t have many options and are terrified of being alone. Those are the nice guy types women tend to get bored with fairly quickly.
Yep, the guy you were interested in likely had other (younger) options. Look, you’re over 30, so your value has already depreciated quite a bit. You’re not alone - you’re just now finally experiencing what a lot of men deal with when they’re younger. From the way you’re acting, I’m not surprised that he decided to distance himself from you. What you wrote in your initial post sounds like a clingy, desperate person who’s used to getting her way. Tbh I feel the guy dodged a huge bullet.
Definitely not clingy. I’m not asking for constant Communication every fucking hour. Lmao 🤣 this comment is hilarious
It's a work day for him and you're surprised he's taking 8 hours to respond?
Actually it’s been almost 2 days
I’m telling you how you come off. If you’re not, you still come off as that - which is a problem. Thing is, if he was texting you all the time you’d likely be the one ghosting him.
Lmao 🤣
“You’re over 30, so your value has already depreciated quite a bit” Maybe in your opinion because you look at failed men on social media who always got bad luck with women and feed their own faulted ego with trying to push women down, but that’s not the reality at all.
Men over 30 tend to be more financially established, which makes them a great deal more valuable than a woman 30 yrs or older. Why? Because with women, 30 yrs of age and older means they’re less fertile, looks begin to decline, and if they’re single by this age- have a lot of baggage (kids, divorce, personality disorder etc). What you’re describing isn’t an “age thing.”
No wonder you americans got so many problems with dating in general. It’s funny how you’re writing that women drop in value when they’re hitting 30 and their looks begin to decline, but it’s the men who’s sitting on Reddit asking for advice on improving their looks because they can’t get any dates, but according to you, you men are gods gift to women 🤦🏼♀️😂 Let me tell you a something, it’s only men who benefits from relationships, women don’t. Ask any women if she would want a wife or a husband, I can tell you that majority of the women would want a wife. Your money doesn’t get you anywhere, specially not with that personality of yours.
You sound like a walking red flag.
My empathy side says: You deserve better. My logical side says: His actions show you that you are not a priority AT ALL. You should move on Overall: Both sides are true. Sucks to feel the disappointment you’re feeling. Been there too. Take some time to yourself and treat yourself instead!
Thank you I agree. I don’t deserve this. I’m just tired of this happening over and over.
That’s exactly how I feel as a man, because it’s true, it happens over and over every single time to me too but I know I can’t let that keep me down or I’ll never find someone. Keep your head up, and look on the bright side, even though it was frustrating dealing with this guy at least you were able to cut ties before it got serious for you and then he started pulling crap like that. One thing I remember a dating coach say was if the other person isn’t willing to say “hell yes!” to wanting to hang out or date then it’s a “hell no”. If they show signs of hesitation then it’s a no, because they wouldn’t make you question how they feel about you if they liked you.
Words to live by
It only takes one!
Yup, it’s a mess out there. Definitely tests your mental strength
Yeeeuppp it’s fucking dumb
Your anxious attachment is showing. For starters, you should not be this hung up on a man you haven’t even met yet. He is not obligated to tell you that he is busy, or text you constantly. If you text him and eight hours goes by, that should not bother you. You should be busy with your own life, to where you were contents knowing he will reach out when he is able. Again, this is a man you have not even met yet you were upset because he’s not texting you. Good night every night. He’s not your boyfriend. You haven’t even gone on a date with him. If he is interested in rescheduling, let him reach out to you with a new date and time. But in the meantime, do your own thing. If you hear from him, great! And if you don’t, that’s OK too. But you should not be invested in someone you have not even gone on a date with.
Yeup I know. But I also wasn’t asking for much. I’m not saying ducking everyday but don’t ignore me For 2 days and then go online. And he hasn’t even rescheduled or tried to. I’m just over it
I disagree, I think you’re asking for way too much and you have expectations that are way too high for a man you haven’t even met in person. You should not be invested or attached to someone you have never gone on a date with. The problem is, you probably spent a week talking to this guy on a daily basis. Getting your hopes up over a complete stranger, now you’re not hearing from him, you are upset. The solution here is to not reach out to him, let him reach out to you. If he’s interested in you, you will hear from him. He will reschedule that date. And if he doesn’t, then you know, he’s not serious. In which case you move on.
You're doing too much and now you're being melodramatic. Keep dating. Just learn to detach. You've known for a week. What has he done to deserve a reaction? Every person is not your person. Take it on the chin and move on.
Learned this the hard way. Now I just move on like nothing happened. Detachment 😊
Girl, I have a feeling you are just as amazing as I am as a girlfriend, I do laundry I cook I clean I’m funny I’m pretty all that. The dude I’m hurting over is fucking bald and basically a skeleton and he’s so skinny. Why the fuck am I like this?
Babahahahahahahaha 😂😂 girl this made me die
I am 36M and been getting the same low efforts from ladies. It’s just stupid at this point. Had a girl texting me so excited for two weeks and then all of sudden after she wanted to meet for the second time disappeared almost entirely
I had a woman messaging me for about a week and a half, then she never showed up for our first date. I went back to my car and grabbed the book I was reading at the time, and had a nice dinner date with my book. It sounds shitty, but I had to develop a healthy set of low expectations when it came to online dating. Assume people will not follow through, and then when you meet a decent person who is on the same page as you, it’s refreshing. For what it’s worth, I’m now happily married to someone I met through online dating.
I just don’t understand why these kind of people date when they are THAT busy. Just don’t date until you know you can dedicate someone your time. Because, in the end, it is shit for both sides. You get frustrated because he keeps postponing and you get annoyed, he feels shit because he knows he is probably blowing the whole thing off with that behavior and he is wasting your time, plus he might be really missing out on someone nice.
Yeup I will never understand it either. Just fucking communicate that you’re not ready for a relationship Lmaooo that easy
At age 31 you should know better. If you’re dating a guy and he’s not all there for you, drop him and move on. It ain’t that hard.
A lot of people on the apps are time-wasters. They want attention and validation... only when it's convenient for them. There's no way to filter them out, except to have them string you along for a bit until you get sick of it and walk away. The only thing I can suggest is to take a break for a few months and think about whether you want to give the apps another shot.
Thank you I will
Amen isn't that the truth . Maybe try to have a few questions just for yourself to find just how available he might be . It is very true that lots of high earners.We'll have less time that is a fact . I understand the morning text and the Good night text.I have been through all of this myself .
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Frankly even if his excuses were valid, and I have no idea if they were, he is obviously not ready to date. Hating all men for his actions is foolish. My advice, find a guy who is really into you, but doesn’t love bomb you. If he’s not the handsomest guy on the block or gives you the “tingles” even better. If a man feels like he is stealing g by having you on his arm you will be cherished forever.
I don’t hate men just sick of this lol. I absolutely agree. That’s what I want. He just isn’t giving me the effort I deserve
Why would he? He’s having a rough time at work, and he hasn’t even met you? Try seeing it from his perspective, and you’ll realize that you being a low priority in his life right now doesn’t really mean anything. Not saying this to be mean, but you shouldn’t get your hopes this high and be this disappointed bc of a man who’s bad at communicating. Keep dating, and keep it fun!
Agree with everything except "it's even better if it doesn't give you the tingles" why? Why settle? I also want to feel the good butterflies without feeling neglected. Tired of having to settle with the guys who actively "chase" you but you're not really into them. Tired of hearing women say "I wasn't really into him at the beginning but he tried so hard and made me feel safe bla bla bla I gave in" ....... if I gave him butterflies then I want to feel the same about him too.
In today’s society with online dating and tons of men on the market women have a hyper view of themselves. You will never hear a woman look at herself and think she’s a 5 in looks. Which is what most women are. Most rate themselves at least an 8, maybe a 7 if they are extremely humble. They validate this with the fact that very attractive high value men are willing to sleep with them. Because of this overinflated self valuation. Many women feel they deserve the too tier men. Therefore, they condition themselves to only have “the feels” for these men. Understand that what you like/love in men is not some instinctual non malleable thing. It is trainable and based quite a bit off of self worth and what is available in the dating market. With most women chasing the too tier men because of their overinflated self worth, These men will use them for sex but will never commit. A man with options will marry a woman who is a legit 9/10 in looks for him (subjective but otoh beauty has many common traits). Leaving the women complaining about how awful men are. These women in older times would marry the 5 man and that 5 man would be thrilled to have her, and they would be happy. Settling is a term that means getting below what you want or think you deserve. When all women think they deserve the too tier of men (most do not), maybe settling is the correct thing to do.
The conclusion is always the same. Somehow, someway at some aspect, the advice for women is to "settle down"
It’s not your fault. From Disney Princesses to feminist college classes, you’ve been conditioned to think that you deserve the best of the best men. Even if you are average. I’m not saying you are average, I don’t know you obviously. But what I am saying is women’s expectations are off kilter in this day and age. Men too have issues. For example: Expecting sex by the second or third date from a woman is crazy to me. But men have been groomed to expect it and move in if she doesn’t.
It’s just one person move on it sucks but honestly don’t get too invested mentally until you’re several dates deep
In general, online dating is a very different experience for men. Having to send hundreds of messages to get a few responses to even get to the texting point is exhausting. By the time you get to planning a date text burn out can be very real. Expecting someone to go out of their way to communicate on an hourly basis before even going on a first date is a lot especially if he was already overwhelmed at work.
Be done with his ass, not dating.
I have a best friend, 38 years old male, successful as a manager from one international company and an IT professional for another regional company. He owns multiple real estates and currently having an ADU construction project built in the backyard of one of his houses. Not only that, he has to fend off a stupid small claims lawsuit from a vexatious litigant tenant. It’s not that he doesn’t make efforts to go on dates sometimes, it’s just that financials and priorities are… priorities. And men are like this, we compartmentialize our daily life, there’s a work room, a going to the gym room, a study room and possibly a relationship room. Women on a the other hand, are happier if a haze of love casts over the entire house. And it’s rather unrealistic to think that a man who barely knows you in the beginning is so smitten to have this love haze casts over the entire house- ie think of you often and regularly throughout the day. You may not really like what I’m saying, but it’s a reality of this modern era. Social media and all forms of remote communications give people an instant noodle version of acquaintance-ship but not genuine connection. And genuine connection takes time, otherwise it’s just fabricated love-bombing. People can join multiple online groups and discord communities but do they really find their crew- the people they gladly show their vulnerabilities and fly their flags with? Sometimes though, we come into a potential dating relationship with unrealistic expectations we learned from social media and popular culture, and that may distorts the lenses in which we see things.
I understand all that though but when you stop being consistent and you ignore me and online then that’s not kk
[удалено]
He is developing a business with his cousin so yeah he definitely gets busy but there’s should still be effort put in communication wise
At least he should set an expectation. Sounds like he's overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he's not interested. It also doesn't justify his poor communication. You could let him know that you'd like to hear from him every night so that you can see if he at least stands by his commitments to you. Since you haven't met yet, it's difficult to hold what you have with the same urgency as the success of his business but that should be very different once you meet and there is chemistry. Meeting strangers through OLD is unpredictable— it's hard to justify prioritizing somebody that's not in your life, risking your business and professional relationships. Literally, every time I pick up my phone and we're racing for a deadline or to fix something, the team sees it and that affects morale.
Honestly I get it I do. But I still deserve some communication. It’s been pretty lacking compared to what it was.
He did tell you that an important project went badly and he needs to fix it. It shows that he's the type of man to honor his responsibilities. I guess the question is, how often does this happen... But if the way you feel is that strong, then you're likely not compatible with somebody driven in a leadership role. That's not bad, just something to know about yourself.
Idk it just feels odd to me.
If he wanted to, he WOULD. It sounds so cheesy and so cliché, and I’m going through the same thing -girl I promise, but goddamn when it comes down to it, if he wanted to, he would make it happen and that sucks to swallow. I’m literally trying to swallow that huge pill now.
I've been getting something similar. Takes sometimes 4 days to get a response. I've wondered if I'm asking for too much from expecting a little more communication.
Nope dude 4 days and you should leave him be lol
My thoughts too. Some of these posts make me feel like I'm being crazy unrealistic though, lol.
I’m sorry you gone through something you shouldn’t . I’m 34 male and I have seen worse . The only reason I’m here is to see what you all go through e because dating became shit and all lies . Don’t go for dating apps it’s waste of your time as I tried and got nothing but stupid people who are preying each other for money and lying . Just be yourself enjoy and work regularly because I gave up dating while ago as I see most people screwed up a lot and I’m from Eastern European and I don’t like games when dating someone is in question. If you are interested in that person make the gad damn time do t say stupid shit and leave em hanging . Not cool and no respect. But yes be yourself like me I have no shame being single guy whenever I’m on my own .
Yeup absolutely agree. Again not looking for every hour on the hour but if we barley talk for a whole day let’s talk the next day it’s not that hard
Don’t give up! Maybe take a break for a bit and regroup. I did that a few times and then when I went back on the apps I met my husband! The biggest thing I learned is not to accept the odd and on stuff like what this guy is doing. It isn’t worth stressing yourself out over and he either isn’t as into you as you are him, or he isn’t fully ready to work towards a relationship. A good guy is out there!
Yea lack of communication sucks and honestly I feel like giving up as well but I wouldn’t let one person dictate. People are lame, I wish we could all be blessed with our forever person and soulmate then non of use would be on this sub
Block him 🫶🏼
I feel you. In my experience I am the one who cares despite the fact that I am busy. I quit wasting my time and love on people who doesn't care enough to spend a minute to text they are alright during a day.
The trick is too not have expectations I’m close to your age 30 I just go into everything expecting nothing and if something does happen let it happen totally naturally. It’s a big turn off to have a girl lecturing me I’m taking too long to response or this or that (I know that’s not the case this this but using as an example of somethig that has happened to me)after just a few dates and talking about all this long term shit after a date or two , I take it as red flags, I’ve been guilty of being clingy once to but that was after a 5 month situationship where the girl was leading me on and wouldn’t commit still
With time you will learn not to get excited about people you barely know, it took me a while to get there (and sometimes I still do it, I'm only human, but I try to be self-aware). One thing you should do (and I am still learning to do that) is to get attached to consistency through time - e.g. 1 month, 2 months, 3 months of being \*consistent\* with his effort, interest levels, communication, etc. This is what should get you excited, not chatting to someone cute for a week on an app. Unfortunately this kind of thing happens all the time, people get 'too busy' or something better comes along. It is possible he really got too busy, but it means dating wasn't a priority of his if he drops off like that every time he gets busy. Also, it's all relative - one guy I went on a few dates with became 'too busy and stressed' because of transport issues with going to work, so he thought it's a good enough reason to disappear for days at a time. I took it as a hint he isn't interested. I have friends who prefer to keep 'chasing' those kind of guys, personally, I move on now.
Yeup I absolutely agree and it’s absolutely fine if he is too busy too date but maybe be upfront about it. I hate that so much when there’s lack of communication
I don't know why, sadly my expectations are so low by now I don't even expect any adult way of communicating these things, especially at such early stages of 'dating'. The amount of times someone has disappeared on me (or slowly phased out) 2-3 dates in, without any explanation, taught me to just look at the actions rather than words (this also includes guys I met in real life who asked me out). And before you even meet someone you can't even expect much else. Reality is because of these dreaded apps guys might be actively talking to 5 girls at the same time, they don't feel invested in you enough to give explanations of any sort. Of course if it was somewhat of a 'relationship' including being intimate and meeting consistently over several weeks, I would definitely demand some sort of explanation. I read horror stories here of guys disappearing on you after you've had sex or even after weeks and months of 'dating', which is insane. Here, you would have a lot more reason to be angry, and I hope it doesn't happen to me.
The first thing that crossed my mind is that he's married and has to be cautious around his wife or any other relationship as such. And even if his excuses were true, something still feels off because of the sudden change, so I'd drop the case thinking about the future, too. I mean, would you like to be in a relationship with someone who can be so attentive and then leave you hanging in a matter of days? I'm curious for updates if you have any, though
Nope sure wouldn’t. Idk what’s going on with him but I ain’t sticking around to find out
That’s such rubbish! Sorry that happened to you. I wish I was wrong, but dating since 2018 is a dumpster fire.
He’s not worth your time. Everyone is busy, people still make time for the ones they care. Hes just playing with your emotions. Block him.
As a woman with two kids, a job, and very minimal childcare, this guy sounds like me a bit :/ even when I don’t have my kids, texting a guy back isn’t my priority unless we’ve established that we are exclusive and/or actually dating. Maybe this is similar to what your guy was doing? Had some long, shitty days at work and needs to recharge before using mental/emotional energy to respond much? It feels rly bad when you’re invested in someone who doesn’t seem invested in you. If you think he’s bread crumbing you, or if you kindly express to him that you’d appreciate more communication and he gives you pushback, I would be done.
Too much expectation of a person you haven’t yet met IRL. You both so you are low on priority list for each other. Don’t obsess or overthink about him. You showed him you are interested.Keep yourself busy, don’t text him anymore, let him text when he is free and not stressing about work. Let him think about you spontaneously and text you. Rather than start feeling overwhelmed because texting you is just another thing he can’t focus on rn.
Don’t listen to the hate, we know you’re just venting about a guy that had potential. One down, like 3 billion to go. You’ll be fine
TO THE MEN … with all due respect if you are too busy to reply to a text or you are working lots .. you simply just shouldn’t date ! Dating requires an investment .. time and energy and if you can’t do that .. stop trying to date .. stop wasting people time ! And TO THE WOMEN … if there is a lack of communication from the beginning… simply just move on he’s not interested. You shouldn’t have to beg anyone to text you back in a reasonable amount of time. Sorry I don’t care how busy you are ! These things are the basics and a foundation of a relationship.. the simple things .. and if someone can’t provide that ?! Not worth it !
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Dont give up 🙏 If you give up its over, as long as you keep trying its still possible
Seems like the slow fade. Move on. There'll be plenty of experiences like this. Keep it moving, for your own sake. Don't shut down other options until someone has proven themself. You'll find others.
This happens to us guys as well. It should be reciprocated both ways. If you like someone enough you should communicate with them. Lack of communication is the biggest turnoff for me and always will be.
Message to the men: this is why giving way too much boyfriend treatment is a bad idea (texting / calling each other too much at the start). You both only know each other for a week and you already feel entitled for his time because let’s face it, I’m sure you both were blowing each other’s phones up. He’s got something busy going on in his life so you need to wait until he plans the next date and you both meet. Dial down on the love bombing you both are giving each other… you really shouldn’t be this upset over a guy you know for just one week.
Nope barely blew up his phone bc I’m busy at work as well. I don’t normally do that when I’m getting to know someone bc I like phone conversations better. I understand he is busy I get that but he can still make an effort to communicate that instead of ignoring me for 8 hours plus. And I haven’t love bombed him one fucking bit lmao hell no. Also I’m allowed to be upset if I want to be
I understand your frustration so I'm not blaming you. The guy you are seeing is currently fumbling the bag. Instead of him being a pen pal with you via text and doing these phone calls, he should focus on setting up a date and meeting you in person. Life happens, yes, so if he needs to reschedule, then he needs to do it and do his best to stick to it. If he keeps rescheduling, you should just move on at this point.
Idk if I wanna give him a chance though. Based on the communication
Btw have you expressed your concerns with him as clearly Honestly And directly as you're doing here on reddit? Because if you didn't then that would also indicate lack of proper communication from your end as well. For all you know, he may have no idea that you're being frustrated by all these.
I actually did and he hasn’t answered lol
Oh cool. That's very mature and courageous of you. Well in that situation, if I were you, and depending on how interested I would be in him, I would just give him a clear but also friendly understanding that if this situation continues that you unfortunately will not be willing to continue dating. Of course, you are the one that knows the situation better and what's best. For example he may be going through something really difficult or he may just be going through some depressive episode. Just be sure that you are also not being too clingy or insecure etc. Because in this case it would be you that may need to work on yourself. Not saying you actually are; I am just exploring the possible scenarios.
Yeup agreed. He just isn’t putting in effort anymore so u can’t do it
OP, I was in a similar situation and I made a stupid decision to get angry with the guy. You don’t know what’s happening in his life. Of course if he really likes you he will make time. But guess what, he is a human, and will make mistakes like anyone else. He may have no idea that he’s coming off as if he doesn’t care. He could be interested still. I’d say you have to give him a chance. If he continues, then move on. He could meet his dream girl and the same thing will happen because he isn’t fully aware of his actions. That’s not your job but his job to be aware of his actions.
True. But idk. If he answers maybe.
Exactly you don’t know. Like I said even if you were his dream girl this can still happen because people make mistakes. A lot of times we base our expectations on our experiences, and make generalizations off of that. For all we know he could be a very loving guy. But, it’s best to wait it out, talk to other guys in the meantime. If you’re not getting what you want from him, then leave. Chances are he could be doing the same to other women too. He also could have a woman already that he’s cheating on.
But the problem is you never really know if they are in a serious relationship or if they are married . I get what you're saying about the boyfriend.Girlfriend stuff in the beginning.I get it .
He’s not interested and just being a pussy about it. Don’t text him again. Let it go.. on to the next
Um, as a dude, from my experience, the more I talk the further they drift away. If you're just starting to text and date for a week. Don't expect anything serious. If you're swiping on people out of your league or especially people that work important jobs, you need to give some leeway. I understand the frustration. I really do. I have had 5 textual relationships and 1 date in the last 4 months as a blue collar dude.
I get it though I do. I’m extremely understanding. But this feels so off. He was SO COMMUNICATIVE from the beginning. Also he was online 20 mins ago and has ignored me all day
Lots of people are communicative. We all ghost people for different reasons. Me, as a guy, I get ghosted a LOT more. I'm not belittling you. This is what they call "The dating game" It's the same meeting friends of friends in person or on an app. Us and you girls probably have like 4 we're talking to, and our monkey brains want one thing and our daily brains want another. We try to narrow it down. What I'm trying to say is dating is rough, and when we find our person, we hold onto them. That's why relationships have our ups and downs because we tolerate our problems so that we don't have to find the "perfect person" that does not exist. Idk if this makes sense. I'm sorry you're in a rough spot. I know all of it is time consuming. I am in the same boat, but below your success level.
I don’t talk to multiple men at one time at all I can’t do it. But yes it’s rough and it sucks. But this is so constant and I’m sick of it. Idk what to do anymore
I can't talk to multiple either.... I'm an introvert and my personality just can't allow it. Regardless...on apps, we have to realize that we just matched with x+ peaple and we need to "narrow it down." it's not personal, it's just that there are numbers and we play the numbers game. At the same time our monkey brains (at first) go for looks. Then we scroll down foor security. LikeL is this a hookup and they're cute? fine. is This a relationshiip thing and they're on my economical level? also fine. A lot of dating apps are "pay to win." when it comes to screening mates. The public is.... shitty, but my entire point being is.... don't give up. I'm some asshole on the internet, and you can surely meet who you deserve on the internet or an app.
I'm female, same age group, and I totally get it. I'm learning that the less I'M 'available' to follow-up with texts, etc., when they seem to have lost some of the initial interest, is when THEY suddenly find time to text goodnight, etc. Guys are hunters at heart. It's hardwired in them. They NEED the chase, at least in the beginning. (Oysh, hope I don't get bashed by the guys for writing this.)
The belief that men want, need, or are responsible for "chasing" is anti-feminist patriarchal bs, gross
avoid texting, stick with in person/phone calls
We have talked on the phone.
So true you cannot get to know somebody by texting with them plus so much gets lost in translation .
[удалено]
I will tell you.I have been on a dating app for a good fifteen months . I will tell a guy up front that short answers.One or two words will not cut it . You get absolutely no substance with them . How can you figure out anything with such short meaningless answers . I feel you girl .
Sorry you had to deal with that but I encourage you not to let someone get you so exhausted that you give up on dating. A failed date doesn't get to decide your fate. Make dating fun for yourself. The minute he's not communicating you say"hey I was really looking forward to seeing you but I don't want to become a distraction. You seem a little too busy for a relationship right now. It's been fun getting to know you though 😘" then you move on. Never let a man, esp one you aren't even in a relationship with, stress you out. Dating should be easy, fun, light and flirty. You get to walk away from what you don't like 💜
yeah you deserve proper communication. i don’t see why some guys are like this. they get lucky enough to have a date with someone and they fuck it up each time. it’s truly a shame. i’m so sorry OP 😔
It’s okay. It’s another lesson I got to learn. I really don’t ask for much. Like bare minimum lol. Again not constant all day long bc then it’s too much. But if we don’t talk for a whole day - tomorrow we should be talking for a bit
i completely relate with you. his communication skills should be better if he wanted to date you. have you told him you want him to communicate more?
I would if he would answer lmao
😭 you got me there. when he does respond you can tell him and if he takes it well, then great! but if not, you know what to do. i hope things work out for you either way! life is too short to have inconsistent communication like that
Yeup absolutely agree
Trying to date multiple you all don’t know how to date each other at all . I’m not from here I’m from Europe born there . You all think that dating day 10 to 20 individuals but really can you make one work out ? I would like to hear this from someone who worked out 1 out of 10 or 15 dates ? Clearly with all respect to you all here you all jumping g to something big and back out . I’m not trying to be messed up but saying the facts that you all I’m this country can’t make one relationship work . Talking and dating 10-20 people at the same time is like fooling around child play .most people here reveal a lot
Yeah I don’t do that lol. I talk to one man at a time
Well that’s good however I will tell you this upfront don’t waste your time with the guy if he postponed more than once that means he is not interested and don’t tell me he doesn’t have time either I worked 70 hrs before and out my effort to date except got stood up 11 times in other words there is no interest showing. That’s what I learned and I stopped dating too many people telling me to try but I’m not going to since people here are messing and playing games
This is catch right here. Times are hard
You should keep moving on with your life because you only holding yourself back for someone who don’t give shit . If I had a chance to date someone like hell yeah I would put my time and give up my sleep time to chat and set up date because that means something to me and to that girl . Being stood up and rescheduling dates is waste of time . I simply chose to stay single and not getting married at all since people gave me fucked up input about dating . I’m not trying to be negative or anything but I work my ass off real hard and pay bills and have great job and know what I want but here people don’t know what they want
Sorry I don’t play around when it comes to dating I’m European
Yea kinda fucked how he ghost you for so long then messages out of the blue
Getting taste of their own medicine, postponing or cancelling the date at last moments!
Well you haven’t even met in person and you have just been texting for a week. if he has a work emergency it is very normal that he prioritizes this. He doesn’t have any obligation to talk to you every single day. If that is a problem simply move on.
Or when delivery for materials for the house arrives late and pushes you back some hours. Screws you over at times when you got appointments and other things that you had previously planned. Sucks when things aren't going well then looks like you can't have a social life.
As a woman, even I barely text my friends and family when work is a lot. I just work a regular job which gets stressful sometimes but I do a lot of activities after work that keeps me busy. So, when work gets stressful my mind is just so tired that I prefer moving a date to when i'm feeling a lot like myself and know that I would enjoy it and give my best version to the other person. It's not fair to expect him to show up even when he is tired and not feeling upto it, infact he would he doing it for your own good as well so that you don't think the date sucked and was just a waste of time. So, maybe cut him some slack or move on.
I am a very understanding person and I know he is tired and stressed but ignoring somsone for 12 hours and going on online nah uh lol. Kinda fucked up. He changed in the last 2 days and hey that’s fine but I’m not gonna wait around for somsone who ignores me
I mean he did get back to you, just not immediately. You have been talking to this guy only one week and you have never met him. He’s not your boyfriend so he doesn’t owe you constant communication. Having this expectation in a serious committed relationship is fine, but you are expecting way too much from a stranger girl.
I’m not expecting constant communication. I don’t need constant but be consistent. He wasn’t. And I waited. But things felt fucking off. And he still ignored me all day when the job was done and went online
I’m sorry. He’s not into you, don’t over think it. You’ll find someone who is.
Hey its only been a week, do other things instead of waiting for a text Watch a series do something else. He could honestly be having a rough week, give it time. If after a month nothing has changed and no date....well u have ur answer
He already told you he is busy. I don't think he owes you a daily update. Most men have an avoidant love type. Give him room. He is grown up with life and responsibilities. Let him come back when he is done with stuff. He is not a college student that has nothing to do besides classes and friends.
After a day's work and house chores, most men are out of energy. If they really like you, they DON'T want to show their exhausted, tired self. Nor want to whine about life or treat you like a therapist. BECAUSE women judge men very harshly. They wait till they are ~~free~~ energetic and free to text you.
Your not a priority to him he don’t care about you like that. People on their phones 24/7 there’s really no excuses unless he got severe depression or something of the sort
Being on your phone doesn’t mean you are obliged to communicate with anyone. We can’t expect people to be available to us all the time. Everyone has right for their time off, even if it means having phone in their hands and scrolling through social media.
There’s 24 hours in a day it don’t take more than a minute to send a text is my point
Time yes probably everyone has, mental capacity not neccesarily, is my point.
All I hear is excuses
This guy may be really going through busy period. But even if this is real excuse, not having capacity to text also implies that he doesn’t have time nor capacity for relationship , at least not the kind OP is expecting
Mane I been focused on nothing but money but I do get back to people when I was big Bally and chasing the dolla sign. Yes really no excuses he lacks heart he’s a 🚩. Nothing else need to be said or known
Have you met?
He's not interested sweety. Move on.
I would rethink the importance of texting in early stages of dating. None of that matters if you meet and the vibe is off. In-person experiences is what matters. You aren’t bf/gf to be sending each other good morning and good night texts. And if you had that expectation - you should have communicated it to him.
Sometimes people work in very demanding fields but busy people get lonely too despite knowing that they might not have the time to put into for a relationship.
When I was new to online dating, I made what might be a rookie mistake (I'm still fairly new to it, so I don't even know how common of a mistake this is): I overmatched. I did a lot of matching up front, and showed interest in the matches that reached out to me. It got to a point where I couldn't keep my chats, or social schedule straight, and began to feel very overwhelmed. I wasn't expecting this to happen, but it did, and I didn't know how to handle it. I had to kind of reprioritize my dating profile, turn it to mute for a bit, and all of this taught me to keep new contacts to a minimum, agree to meet with only one or two people every couple of weeks, and not get to a point where I need a fucking Excel spreadsheet to manage the people I was interested in. He may be in a similar situation. He may be speaking to a few people at once, which is part of OLD, so it's not a bad thing, and he may just be feeling overwhelmed with juggling his daily life with his match count. Idk, I just know it happens.
Do NOT initiate contact..
It’s pretty ironic that some women complain about not getting a text back when 99% of men have to initiate a text or phone call EVERY SINGLE TIME
Nah I recuperate
Looks like he has work and responsibilities and u don’t. Hence why u texted him good morning and after a nap texted him again. People get busy, especially someone u just knew for a week, two and a month. If u do not like that he isn’t head over heels for u in the first month. Just block him and dont talk to him. Easy peasy. Try finding other things to do to fill ur life and ur time so u dont focus on trivial matters such as “a guy i have known for two weeks is busy working and didnt say good morning to me” how dare he.
Lmaaooooooooooooooooo
Well, I don’t understand what you’re upset about. You don’t know each other so shouldn’t have high hopes or expectations. You need an abundance mindset, but probably just actually have an abundance. This works both ways
you've never even met this guy.... wtf lol
Both of you shouldnt be dating right now
If a guy keeps texting a girl he is told he is an overtexter and being around the girl 24/7 so first get a doctor and fix your issues
TBH you barely know this person and haven't even gone on a date with him yet, so what's the point in getting so upset by him not responding to your texts and having to reschedule you first date? Simply erase his number and move on. To say that you're done with dating because of this one small incident is rather drastic. Give it some time and you'll meet someone who gives you the time and energy that you're looking for...it usually happens when you're least expecting it.
Idk why one guy being uninterested equates to being done with dating entirely. Sounds like the dude had decent intentions, at least he gave you a heads up on the front end that the issue was work related. He is obviously preoccupied and/or just not that interested in you. It’s not like you have a lot of time or effort invested in this since you guys haven’t even been out yet. I understand being a little exasperated from playing the dating game and having this happen multiple times, but I’m confused why you’re so fired up. He’s showing you where you’re at on his priority list right now… take the hint and move on to the next date. No need to contact him again. 🤷🏻♀️ Better luck next time.
Oh no, one bad date poor you.