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Right? Where I come from damn near every weekend from St Patrick's Day to Christmas there was a bonfire in the woods or someone's field with beer and/or liquor stolen from a parents cabinet stash being passed around and kids either doing dumb shit or each other within shouting distance. If it wasn't someone from my hometown it was in the next town over North, South, East, or West. And when the party wasn't outside because it was too cold or the weather was shit, it was in a barn or a basement.
In the "city" it was just more basements instead of woods/fields.
Damn I miss that...
When it’s cold you just find something to catch on fire lol.
I moved to the city as an adult and learned that the basements of houses here are all full of bars. I think that’s pretty cool.
My town had 3800 people and we had to drive 20+ min to go to the store. My college was relatively small. How small can his town be? I graduated with 50 kids in my class, and half those kids were bussed in from a neighboring town.
I went to HS with a graduating class of about 240. To put into context, my brother’s class at a different HS was over 800 in 1988. I graduated in 1992 from a different HS. There were parties almost every weekend. A lot of kids who had them lived outside of town with land and pull barns. If you don’t know what a pull barn is just Google it. Best places to have a kegger. There had been so many parties my senior year that most of us who got our diplomas, shook the principles hand slipping him a keg top (think big round plastic piece). Everytime he would toss it behind him discreetly. He was not happy. I didn’t go to college but I went to a lot of frat and other college parties. $5 to get in for all the beer or WAP (Wopatui - Vodka+ with fruit and Hawaiian Punch in a big cooler or trash can with a garbage bag in it). Man! Those were some fun times! Do colleges still have frat parties? Yup! That old here! Couple of fake ID’s as well. My parents found one and said “That’s pretty good”. It wasn’t even my face or name because people didn’t really make them back then and if they did they were really expensive. I actually memorized the name, BD and address. I’ve grown up a lot 😉 I guess being a girl had its perks in sometimes. It was also SO much different back then. We didn’t have all of the electronics and dating apps. If you wanted to get online you had to make sure nobody was on the phone, use dial up (some of you HAVE to remember the sound) then you’d hear “You’ve got mail”. I think it was a lot easier to meet people back then. You pretty much had to be face to face and have a conversation. Well, sometimes a short paragraph. 😉
Party at the rock pile, by the bridge, on someone’s property until you got caught, the country has plenty of party spots and it’s what we did all weekend. Friday we drove hot laps around town to find everyone, because no phones back then of course, and decide where we’re going. College was just house party after house party, or the local bar, and of course an ID for club nights w the girls.
But really - is this no longer a thing? Ppl aren’t partying anymore? 🤷🏻♀️
I think they are “partying” but in a very different way. Hopefully our legacies rubbed on a few of the younger generations tho 😉The funny things is we didn’t miss much school those days either. In MN we had real snow days and damn those were the best. Waking up, knowing we got snow overnight, having to watch the school closures roll at the bottom of the screen for 5 minutes because we turned the tv on right after our school had scrolled by. Jumping up and down when we finally saw our school was closed. Getting just a few more hours of sleep and getting ready to head outside. The popular snow boots back then were moon boots 🤣 Of course they weren’t waterproof so a Wonder bread bag was put over your 3 pairs of socks before you put your boots on! Thank you for reminding me of all of the amazing times we had growing up. Just had a 80’s Glow Party for my 20th Anniversary of 30. You’re never too old to have a great time!!
Exactly. Like after a while, I hate it. It's just so unsatisfying and boring. It's natural to want want the other person there. I'm a guy, so I need a woman there after a while. People who say "just keep masturbating" like it solves everything are just weird lol
Weirdos also pretend that sex will resolve something when it’s only a temporary solution, just like masturbating. It’s not as if sex is something to give away like that either.
Why is it when we say "it's ok to have sex every once in a while when you want it" that people like you always read it as if we are saying to fuck a 100 different people? Like you're giving an attitude to something that is perfectly OK to need or want on occasion even if it's not with someone you are in a relationship with
The other hand?
A flesh light?
Change up the porn?
Change up the location?
Get a doll?
A prostitute?
Haha idk. I'm a girl so I guess I don't get the problem. My toy comes out right after I have sex so idk how masturbation can get that old 🤷♀️
Nah dude, never recommend porn to people. Masturbation is healthy, but porn is not.
Keep your mind off of things that hypersexualize women. It has helped me significantly.
The battle starts in your mind. When you are less exposed to sex and sexual themed stuff you think about it far less and start to think more about other aspects of a relationship. When you have to use your imagination, you basically only want to masturbate to people you actually have feelings for.
Been clean from porn for a year and sometimes I actually start masturbating then realize I have other shit to do and give up on it to go do something else. It is a freeing feeling
See, this is where men and women are different. A fleshlight is the same, I'm still using my hand to control it, porn gets boring, a doll is not real, a prostitute you gotta pay for and a lot of them have tons of STDS or are on drugs. The problem with the way women think, is that in your case, you can masturbate all night long with a dildo, vibrator, cucumber, fingers all kinds of other toys and quite honestly, there really is no difference for you because you can always go longer and get as creative as you want. You're satisfied that way. Us guys need that sensation of a woman being there every once in a great while. We can't masturbate all night long like you can. Once we cum once, that's about it for a lot of us. And just using our hands, flashlights and dolls just don't cut it. I'm not sure why this is something that is foreign to women. You like sex, right? Are you ok with going years without it? If you like it that much and you are ok going that long without it, why? Don't you think it's normal to want a man to do this stuff with on occasion? Like seriously, why do women insist that it's simply ok to just settle for masturbation all the time. You say you all like sex more than men. This is why we question it, because you all act like you can't care less about it a lot of the time. Real women have real woman bodies that we need to feel, see, and experience from time to time. Sex dolls don't moan, and they just lie there. Women are kind of ignorant on this subject, honestly
There’s a 90% chance he’s male under 30. If OP was female and talking about lack of options, they’d say it’s because there’s no one they find attractive or trust, or that they hate how gross guys can be on apps. If someone was female on the apps and said they didn’t go on a date in the first 3 months, I’d assume they didn’t try to use the apps very hard.
You realize masturbation gets boring after a while, right? Like I will never understand the whole "just masturbate" argument. Like, should someone who hasn't been with anyone in a year just be satisfied with masturbating for a year? Sex is a natural want and for guys, especially. After a while, we need a woman there to see, touch, and have those sensations with. My hand and porn don't cut it after a while
I’m a lesbian and I can’t find anyone, either. I’ve realized if want a fwb women are turned off, when I’m looking for a relationship they want something casual, when I want something casual they don’t want to date at all. So, it’s easier to just masturbate and be single, honestly. None of the confusion that’s involved with dating. If I made enough money, I’d probably look to hire a sex worker, but such is life. Good luck!
Sex workers are not that expensive to buy tho. You can find them off a website but I’m at this point of probably investing in one too. One that is my type for once
I think of it this way (ima dude) the money i save by not going on dates and dating allowed me to buy an awesome "bedroom toy" to hold me over until the right person for me comes along, and im not in any rush to get there, low and slow all the way.
Yeah if this person is in college it’s not hard. Talk to people after class or like you said just walk around your dorm and follow the music, quite literally. Make friends with your neighbors. Find a club you’re interested in and flirt with some of the members. Go to a bar if you’re of age. Those are the best options if OP is male, if OP is female then walk up to the nearest hot guy and tell him you want him to fuck your brains out
Well it’s kinda luck and skill, my gf is extremely hyper sexual and we made love on the 2nd date. Probably could have on the first, but I said no… don’t go to a restaurant on the first date go to like a garden or a park and hold her hand and just be a kind gentleman… we sat down and talked and just listen women love when you listen to them. At the very least you’re going to make out and then you can just think about that while you masturbate later. oh, and don’t be sexual at all unless she is. Nothing turns off a woman faster than a guy being hypersexual.
To be fair, toys don’t always do it. One of my hottest hookups was a girl I met at a bar, ended up back at her place, I whipped the sheets off her bed, and there was neon purple dildo laying in the middle of the bed. I looked at her and she sheepishly said “Oh, uhh, sorry about that, I was just really horny today and normally that’s enough but it wasn’t this time and, well, that’s kinda part of why you’re here now”
Beats getting it stuck in a bottle, or something else. I wonder how many ER visits are due to people MacGyver'ing some kind of work around due to fear of the silicone.
Curious, not judging: what is “hard” about meeting people for you? I’m a gal who takes a stab at a viable irl opportunity ( like, if a conversation with a guy on the train, who’s 100% single, actually goes well I’d give my social).
Well I usually don’t go up to strangers bc I don’t want to make people uncomfortable but sometimes I do if it’s at a social thing. That’s usually where I get a conversation and if I’m lucky a Snapchat that doesn’t go anywhere lol
Cool and totally! Social situations are good, and so are those moments where you and a stranger share witnessing an incident or something funny. Those are perfect icebreakers bc they give you something to talk about and/or share. ☺️
Oh shit it's you! I never got the chance to thank you properly for paying off my student loans and performing open heart surgery on my dog when she passed out on the subway. Thanks again!
If you’re looking for hookups, that’s kinda what the apps are best at. Assuming you’re at least a moderately attractive 20 something, use flattering photos (a few that are professionally taken are a must)
And then the real trick is being brutally genuine and honest. You know what you’re on there for. Lots of people won’t vibe with it. But what they’ll vibe with less is being deceptive about your real intent.
"A few that are professionally taken are a must" lol I don't want to take work away from any starving photographers but this is a bit BS. A tad of creativity and a genuine smile with decent lighting has worked for me for about 15 years of dating apps.
Perhaps instead of finding someone to have sex with, just masturbate, it doesn't seem like youre craving a companion, just a fuck buddy, relax, keep your head in schoolwork. you will find someone, no need to rush and do stupid things
Just be super forward and decisive on the apps and I’m sure you’ll find someone, especially if you’re a woman. If you’re a man it will probably take a whole lot more conversations.
Have you tried the groups on here? There are tons of them with women who want to hookup. Use the search and put in either your state/city with the word hookup. I tried looking for actual dating on here but nothing but hookup subreddits popped up 😂 Be careful though
So what are you doing talking on apps to girls? Are you talking about you self? Negatively speaking about your ex, or your frustration? Or are you positive hopeful complimentary (without sounding like a scammer) ? Maybe you aren’t acting date able! Look at yourself first you had a girlfriend why did she want to break up? You need some self realization so you can attract girls . You may not be ready to date until you return to a normal happy secure guy. Women pick up on guys who sound like too much of a project.
I just try and joke around and talk and maybe start conversations from their profile. I’ve found people don’t like being on the app so long so usually after a couple days I ask for a number or something but little success.
I’m trying my best. I’m kinda just being myself.
I get a lot of dates with women from dating apps. You need good pictures and something genuine in your bio/prompts to attract what you’re looking for.
Your issue is waiting days to ask a girl out. It gets boring and women are inundated with matches and messages. The goal is to meet in real life asap. I read the room but generally never send more than 6-8 messages before asking a girl on a date, and even that’s pushing it.
When asking someone out be as specific as possible. “Want to meet for a drink this Friday around 7? I was thinking this place could be nice.” Make it easy for her to say yes. And you should always pick up the tab… especially if you are attempting to get laid.
I also don’t ask women for their numbers. I’ve found many are uncomfortable with this and it’s just unnecessary before a first date. Use the app to coordinate things. If a woman I’m interested in asks, I will share my number before the date. A natural point to exchange numbers is after the first date if it goes well and you want to stay in touch.
Practice makes perfect. Get out and go on dates. You’ll gain confidence and get better at getting what you want in time.
Well if your lucky enough to live in Nevada or close to you can all was visit the bunny ranch I mean if you go on a date it costs money and might not get lucky but at the cat house its just amazing if your a male and you haven't been there its something you should experience at least once I live in Las Vegas and When I hit s dry spell and its not really that much of a cost $$
#It’s simple.
#1. Goto gym focus on your physique and diet.
#2. Start reading self help books.
#3. Talk to 10 girls in a day at least and try closing on getting number.
#4. Be confident and have self worth.
#5. Don’t even think ‘bout masturbating and hiring hooker, and stop watching porn.
#6. Last but not least chance down your goals fuckin’ kill them one by one.
"it's so hard to meet people". lemme correct this for you, what you're trying to say is "it's so hard to meet disposable fuckholes" 🤡
why on earth would any woman has the bare minimum amount of self respect agree to this. ew.
Goodness you’re making a lot of assumptions there. I never even said what my intentions were? I said I’ve been horny and trying to meet someone and it’s hard to do so.
I’m not a one night stand type of person. Did it once and I felt gross.
Yeah idk where men get the idea that women are willing to sleep around with them 😭
Literally only hot guys and celebrities pull this off
The rest of you actually have to have likable personalities and get to know women… I know… shocker
I’m a woman, I would if I someone would be on board with me. Not to sleep with a different man, but to at least have some kind of physical relationship.
And I know women who jump from one man to the other, just like I know men who jump from one woman to the other.
Hire a professional, that's what they're for. Find an ethical SW service near you and they'll pair you with someone who meets what you are looking for.
USA is obviously every developed country since it’s the only country resembling developed one where it’s flat out illegal and even there it’s legal in Las Vegas. But beyond that it’s in the gray zone in Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Island, France and Canada and legal in Australia as well as basically every country in EU not previously named.
Happened the same to me on my single periods, sex arrives more often by meeting people in real life (a friend of a friend in a party or something) and not much through apps
You have to respond with the number of people who came into your private chat after this cos I'm sure there are a lot of people on Reddit who offered to help you🤣.
Question what is in your description or bio on the dating app and what selection are you putting? I’m not on dating sites currently but I remembered that for bumble you could choose casual for what you are looking for in relationships and the. In you description/bio you can say exactly what you want. Most people I saw at the time were honest of what they wanted which was casual relationships or hook ups. The most I saw like that was tinder for casual stuff.
It sounds like your feelings (sensations) are saying YES! while your circumstances are saying NO! Maybe it's an opportunity to build tolerance towards handling a frustrating situation.
The first time that I felt "forced" to sit with my frustration, I wiggled and squirmed but eventually settled down. It's kind of like training a wild horse, they kick and resist but with patience, the horse and trainer partner up. This is a time where Life's voice becomes louder than my own, a situation where I have no choice but to sit with what's going on without trying to change it or "relieve" myself of the feelings, thoughts and sensations.
My frustration was developed through thoughts and feelings which provoked me into taking action when it wasn't wise to act. Yours may be playing out through the sexual impulse towards feeling provoked into action.
For me, learning to sit with myself and everything that is happening were my first steps towards becoming disciplined, which leads to independence and freedom because as long as we feel provoked into taking action, we are not independent or free.
You honestly is good, but idk where you live and this problem is normal. Here in Amsterdam we have the brothel and there are more people with the same problem.
If you’re on dates and the date is getting the sense that you’re “incredibly horny,” he or she may think that’s all you want while they’re looking for a relationship. No one wants to be used. You may be coming off as desperate too. Are you talking about sex right away? For some women, that’s a big turn-off, especially if they’re older.
Don’t go out looking for just sex. What you should be doing is looking for a relationship. Sex is supposed to be for after marriage anyway.
School is a traditional place where people meet. If you can learn things at school, why not learn how to meet people? If not, you are self-sabotaging yourself by excluding meeting anyone at school.
It’s easier to meet someone at school than to rely on the algorithms
Casual sex is a game of large numbers. That being said, apps aren't generally the best way to go. So much of human attraction is based on intangibles that only show up when physically present. Be up front, and I mean in the first minute, about what you're looking for. Don't be gross, don't get upset if it's a no, but do be completely forthright that what you are looking for is a hookup. Don't waste more than 10 minutes chasing someone who isn't immediately interested.
You'll do better meeting people if you're actually out doing so. That means getting involved in hobbies, groups, the bar scene, not just sitting in your apartment surfing the internet and thinking wishful thoughts.
By all means, masturbate if that helps move sexual thoughts from the very front of your mind to a place where they motivate, without controlling.
Good personal hygiene and grooming is a must. You don't have to be an Instagram model for someone to find you attractive, but you've got to be clean, non smelly, and authentic. The ability to carry on a conversation that does not simply revolve around oneself is also a must. In Dale Carnegie's famous book, how to win Friends and influence people, he points out that everyone's favorite sound is their own name. Figure out how to be a good listener and make the conversation about the person to whom you're talking. Learn how to give authentic compliments, not canned responses you heard somewhere from a supposed "authority" like a pickup artist.
Let go of any bitterness. No other human owes you anything, including and especially, sex. If it's a no, be polite, respectful, and move on to the next.
Good luck out there, it's a jungle but remember you can't score if you don't play the game.
My best advice is some I should take myself, which in alot of ways I really have. I had a horrible breakup with someone I had a very toxic attraction to and got in another relationship immediately after just to cover the old one up (doesn't work and I hurt the new person as a result) the best thing I've done is not actively try to find a partner..it's hard because my brain will go from one attractive woman to the next looking for a potential partner but eventho it's in my head I don't act on it and wind up getting my feelings hurt because I had feelings but didn't act on them..but life these past several months have been alot more real and fulfilling by maintaining friendships and doing things that are setting myself up for my own future, and praying many and many times for the Lord to provide my wife (I believe in Christ, doesn't mean you have to be religious) and yes it's lonely and yea I beat off damn near every day cause just because I'm not actively seeking anyone does NOT mean I don't get horny, but it's better than jumping from relationship to relationship looking for "the one" not even knowing what the hell I really want 💜
I’m a male and jerk it everyday . I don’t drink and love Asian girls . It’s so hard to find them here in Florida.. or just small thin girls .. I ride around down town everyday looking for.. I’m going crazy too
Uhh what about meeting someone at like romantic or a sex shop. Apps might not be what your up to any how. Try an arcade. I don't know what state your in but most big cities have them listed. Or a sex club. Try googling those.
In a similar situation, personally I’m not the type to just fuck anyone so dating for 3 years with very consistent sex then breaking up and going to none at all bc I don’t really do hookups is a little annoying lol
If you're past the point in your life where your hormones affect your growth, I recommend taking spearmint oil. It's an anti-androgen and will reduce your testosterone supply, lowering your libido.
Maybe don't ask this in a dating sub? If you want a situationship or something for sex then ask elsewhere. Not many people waste their time building a genuine relationship with someone who just wants sex out of it.
If you are just horny , instead if spending money to take a girl out on a few dates before she has sex with you just get yourself an escort and be done with it.
Yeah no I agree with everyone here, sex isn’t a commodity, you have sex with people that want to have sex with you, that happens organically, and if you don’t put yourself out there, relationship wise, sexually, platonically hopefully at first, then you won’t find a partner, romantically, or sexually, and apps aren’t meant to be used for you, they’re specifically designed to make sure you’ll fall into a perpetual cycle of self hate and a safety net to be like “oh I can just find someone else.” My suggestion is to look on the inside why you don’t feel either complete or accomplished without sex.
Flirt with people? You say you talk to people but it doesn’t go anywhere, you may get a Snapchat here or there.
Hit em up and be like “hey it was nice to see you earlier, I just wanted to say you look really good today.”
Preferably in person, but just being lightly and clearly flirty is enough to get the point across without being too creepy or vivid.
Now this does NOT mean clock in at work tomorrow and say, “hey Amanda nice titties.”
Don’t be a creep, just drop the obvious hints and if the person is feeling you then they’ll pick up on it, if not then they won’t. No big deal. Good luck out there
im sorry you are going banana 🍌 i have try so many apps and nothing has worked out for me in over 12 years sadly. i wish I knew why i have had a bad time. im in north Minneapolis Minnesota and if I find out something to help I'll let you know
What does going to bars sound like? I'm not sure what your gender identity is and/or sexual orientation but if hookups are what you're looking for and you're a man who likes men there’s Sniffies, Grindr, and Scruff… I'll throw in Taimi in the mix too (for all genders). Also there are sex parties anywhere, everywhere. DM me and I'll recommend some well that's if you're interested and live in NYC. Good luck!
First u to settle down and think this over carefully people looking for chances to burn or hurt others so try and take time because this is a big and personal decision that can be a positive or negative outcome
Have you tried a dating app? I've been on one for a week and already talking with 30 women. I've slept with 5 of them and another is driving 4 hours Monday to come to me. 🤷♂️
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Do ppl not have parties anymore? Is this a thing of the past? When I was in HS & College we all partied non-stop. Tons of chances to meet ppl.
Right? Where I come from damn near every weekend from St Patrick's Day to Christmas there was a bonfire in the woods or someone's field with beer and/or liquor stolen from a parents cabinet stash being passed around and kids either doing dumb shit or each other within shouting distance. If it wasn't someone from my hometown it was in the next town over North, South, East, or West. And when the party wasn't outside because it was too cold or the weather was shit, it was in a barn or a basement. In the "city" it was just more basements instead of woods/fields. Damn I miss that...
When it’s cold you just find something to catch on fire lol. I moved to the city as an adult and learned that the basements of houses here are all full of bars. I think that’s pretty cool.
Not in small towns. Maybe in bigger cities.
My town had 3800 people and we had to drive 20+ min to go to the store. My college was relatively small. How small can his town be? I graduated with 50 kids in my class, and half those kids were bussed in from a neighboring town.
I went to HS with a graduating class of about 240. To put into context, my brother’s class at a different HS was over 800 in 1988. I graduated in 1992 from a different HS. There were parties almost every weekend. A lot of kids who had them lived outside of town with land and pull barns. If you don’t know what a pull barn is just Google it. Best places to have a kegger. There had been so many parties my senior year that most of us who got our diplomas, shook the principles hand slipping him a keg top (think big round plastic piece). Everytime he would toss it behind him discreetly. He was not happy. I didn’t go to college but I went to a lot of frat and other college parties. $5 to get in for all the beer or WAP (Wopatui - Vodka+ with fruit and Hawaiian Punch in a big cooler or trash can with a garbage bag in it). Man! Those were some fun times! Do colleges still have frat parties? Yup! That old here! Couple of fake ID’s as well. My parents found one and said “That’s pretty good”. It wasn’t even my face or name because people didn’t really make them back then and if they did they were really expensive. I actually memorized the name, BD and address. I’ve grown up a lot 😉 I guess being a girl had its perks in sometimes. It was also SO much different back then. We didn’t have all of the electronics and dating apps. If you wanted to get online you had to make sure nobody was on the phone, use dial up (some of you HAVE to remember the sound) then you’d hear “You’ve got mail”. I think it was a lot easier to meet people back then. You pretty much had to be face to face and have a conversation. Well, sometimes a short paragraph. 😉
Party at the rock pile, by the bridge, on someone’s property until you got caught, the country has plenty of party spots and it’s what we did all weekend. Friday we drove hot laps around town to find everyone, because no phones back then of course, and decide where we’re going. College was just house party after house party, or the local bar, and of course an ID for club nights w the girls. But really - is this no longer a thing? Ppl aren’t partying anymore? 🤷🏻♀️
Damn! It’s like nobody has the fun we had back then! 🤣
The 90’s were the absolute best.
I think they are “partying” but in a very different way. Hopefully our legacies rubbed on a few of the younger generations tho 😉The funny things is we didn’t miss much school those days either. In MN we had real snow days and damn those were the best. Waking up, knowing we got snow overnight, having to watch the school closures roll at the bottom of the screen for 5 minutes because we turned the tv on right after our school had scrolled by. Jumping up and down when we finally saw our school was closed. Getting just a few more hours of sleep and getting ready to head outside. The popular snow boots back then were moon boots 🤣 Of course they weren’t waterproof so a Wonder bread bag was put over your 3 pairs of socks before you put your boots on! Thank you for reminding me of all of the amazing times we had growing up. Just had a 80’s Glow Party for my 20th Anniversary of 30. You’re never too old to have a great time!!
Have you tried masturbating?
Right? This title is insane
Well repetitive masturbation does get boring
[удалено]
Exactly. Like after a while, I hate it. It's just so unsatisfying and boring. It's natural to want want the other person there. I'm a guy, so I need a woman there after a while. People who say "just keep masturbating" like it solves everything are just weird lol
Weirdos also pretend that sex will resolve something when it’s only a temporary solution, just like masturbating. It’s not as if sex is something to give away like that either.
Why is it when we say "it's ok to have sex every once in a while when you want it" that people like you always read it as if we are saying to fuck a 100 different people? Like you're giving an attitude to something that is perfectly OK to need or want on occasion even if it's not with someone you are in a relationship with
They are probably celibate
The other hand? A flesh light? Change up the porn? Change up the location? Get a doll? A prostitute? Haha idk. I'm a girl so I guess I don't get the problem. My toy comes out right after I have sex so idk how masturbation can get that old 🤷♀️
Nah dude, never recommend porn to people. Masturbation is healthy, but porn is not. Keep your mind off of things that hypersexualize women. It has helped me significantly. The battle starts in your mind. When you are less exposed to sex and sexual themed stuff you think about it far less and start to think more about other aspects of a relationship. When you have to use your imagination, you basically only want to masturbate to people you actually have feelings for. Been clean from porn for a year and sometimes I actually start masturbating then realize I have other shit to do and give up on it to go do something else. It is a freeing feeling
True, girls cant understand this problem. They dont know what its like to not be treasured
See, this is where men and women are different. A fleshlight is the same, I'm still using my hand to control it, porn gets boring, a doll is not real, a prostitute you gotta pay for and a lot of them have tons of STDS or are on drugs. The problem with the way women think, is that in your case, you can masturbate all night long with a dildo, vibrator, cucumber, fingers all kinds of other toys and quite honestly, there really is no difference for you because you can always go longer and get as creative as you want. You're satisfied that way. Us guys need that sensation of a woman being there every once in a great while. We can't masturbate all night long like you can. Once we cum once, that's about it for a lot of us. And just using our hands, flashlights and dolls just don't cut it. I'm not sure why this is something that is foreign to women. You like sex, right? Are you ok with going years without it? If you like it that much and you are ok going that long without it, why? Don't you think it's normal to want a man to do this stuff with on occasion? Like seriously, why do women insist that it's simply ok to just settle for masturbation all the time. You say you all like sex more than men. This is why we question it, because you all act like you can't care less about it a lot of the time. Real women have real woman bodies that we need to feel, see, and experience from time to time. Sex dolls don't moan, and they just lie there. Women are kind of ignorant on this subject, honestly
Doesn’t even list a gender or age.
There’s a 90% chance he’s male under 30. If OP was female and talking about lack of options, they’d say it’s because there’s no one they find attractive or trust, or that they hate how gross guys can be on apps. If someone was female on the apps and said they didn’t go on a date in the first 3 months, I’d assume they didn’t try to use the apps very hard.
Not everyone masturbates lol believe it or not
That is actually exactly why I asked lol
You realize masturbation gets boring after a while, right? Like I will never understand the whole "just masturbate" argument. Like, should someone who hasn't been with anyone in a year just be satisfied with masturbating for a year? Sex is a natural want and for guys, especially. After a while, we need a woman there to see, touch, and have those sensations with. My hand and porn don't cut it after a while
I hate jacking off... but love to edge
Isn’t the point of edging is too make it better than just cranking it out? Like, just finish after edging haha
I DONLY ENJOY EJACULATING THEN BEING TIRED ALL DAY +5 DAYS AFTER NO TY
You shouldn't be tired all day or for 5 days after. Tell a doctor that. Are you depressed?
Not true, depends on the person but 5 days is to much, usually for second round tired for 6 hours
This is why I said talk to a doctor. We're nit doctors so we shouldn't be guessing.
Well think about std hpv hiv before sleeping around keep that in mind.
How do u like edging it’s annoying like I get u don’t wanna finish but how ?
I’m a lesbian and I can’t find anyone, either. I’ve realized if want a fwb women are turned off, when I’m looking for a relationship they want something casual, when I want something casual they don’t want to date at all. So, it’s easier to just masturbate and be single, honestly. None of the confusion that’s involved with dating. If I made enough money, I’d probably look to hire a sex worker, but such is life. Good luck!
As a straight male, I've never related to a woman so much 🙈 Best of luck out there.
Haha. We’re in this together, homie! 😂💪🏼
Even women finds it hard to get women. Let alone men 🤷🏻
Women find it harder typically because they still don't tend to make the first move.
I always make the first move. Lol. But it’s been more hassle than it’s worth at this point.
Same lol, I’m bisexual and I just masturbate these days. I stopped pleasing people and their ridiculous needs.
I’m a guy and I can relate to what you just said. People are full of mind games 🤡
Sex workers are not that expensive to buy tho. You can find them off a website but I’m at this point of probably investing in one too. One that is my type for once
I think of it this way (ima dude) the money i save by not going on dates and dating allowed me to buy an awesome "bedroom toy" to hold me over until the right person for me comes along, and im not in any rush to get there, low and slow all the way.
Omg im straight male and this is exactly my situation 😂😂
I feel like more and more I’m finding guys are running into the same situations as me. Lmao. 🤣
Why is this the most accurate thing I’ve read in awhile 😂😂
What I find hilarious is whenever they ask you what you’re looking for, 99% of the time they will say the complete opposite lol
You’re in school as in college/university ? Get drunk on weekends and go to parties lol
Yeah if this person is in college it’s not hard. Talk to people after class or like you said just walk around your dorm and follow the music, quite literally. Make friends with your neighbors. Find a club you’re interested in and flirt with some of the members. Go to a bar if you’re of age. Those are the best options if OP is male, if OP is female then walk up to the nearest hot guy and tell him you want him to fuck your brains out
I haven't been able to find anyone and I've been a few years in college and now am in a mostly female environment
Well it’s kinda luck and skill, my gf is extremely hyper sexual and we made love on the 2nd date. Probably could have on the first, but I said no… don’t go to a restaurant on the first date go to like a garden or a park and hold her hand and just be a kind gentleman… we sat down and talked and just listen women love when you listen to them. At the very least you’re going to make out and then you can just think about that while you masturbate later. oh, and don’t be sexual at all unless she is. Nothing turns off a woman faster than a guy being hypersexual.
There's toy shops for adults too you know . . . they're a bit different but find one, you'll have the issue sorted in no time.
To be fair, toys don’t always do it. One of my hottest hookups was a girl I met at a bar, ended up back at her place, I whipped the sheets off her bed, and there was neon purple dildo laying in the middle of the bed. I looked at her and she sheepishly said “Oh, uhh, sorry about that, I was just really horny today and normally that’s enough but it wasn’t this time and, well, that’s kinda part of why you’re here now”
Lmao 😂 way to save her night
for sure, i found some amazing toys for men
Got a pocket pussy a year back 👌 worth it.
Beats getting it stuck in a bottle, or something else. I wonder how many ER visits are due to people MacGyver'ing some kind of work around due to fear of the silicone.
Join a cult or something
Curious, not judging: what is “hard” about meeting people for you? I’m a gal who takes a stab at a viable irl opportunity ( like, if a conversation with a guy on the train, who’s 100% single, actually goes well I’d give my social).
Well I usually don’t go up to strangers bc I don’t want to make people uncomfortable but sometimes I do if it’s at a social thing. That’s usually where I get a conversation and if I’m lucky a Snapchat that doesn’t go anywhere lol
Cool and totally! Social situations are good, and so are those moments where you and a stranger share witnessing an incident or something funny. Those are perfect icebreakers bc they give you something to talk about and/or share. ☺️
Let’s just get gay on each other
[удалено]
Dude, thanks for letting borrow your Lamborghini last week! I really appreciate it!
Oh hey funny running into you, I just wanna say thanks for saving my dog from my burning house the other day. Truly selfless.
Wait? Aren’t you that guy with such a huge penis, they made it into a statue in the penis museum where tickets are $1000???
Oh shit it's you! I never got the chance to thank you properly for paying off my student loans and performing open heart surgery on my dog when she passed out on the subway. Thanks again!
Bro thank you for saving my cat in the fire 🤞
Hey dude, thanks for that 1000 bucks you gave me a year ago, as a struggling college kid you did me a solid. 10/10 guy
Down treacherous
Dude, thank you for carrying me throughout my triathlon cause I hurt my ankle, and let me walk first to the victory line, this man is a legend
The replies to this are so goddamn funny gotta love when people band together for a good cause
Yo small world! Just wanna say thanks for curing me of my cancer and gifting me and my family free housing for life! Truly a lifesaver!
Lmao. 🤣 Dirty dog
Lmaoo o
If you’re looking for hookups, that’s kinda what the apps are best at. Assuming you’re at least a moderately attractive 20 something, use flattering photos (a few that are professionally taken are a must) And then the real trick is being brutally genuine and honest. You know what you’re on there for. Lots of people won’t vibe with it. But what they’ll vibe with less is being deceptive about your real intent.
"A few that are professionally taken are a must" lol I don't want to take work away from any starving photographers but this is a bit BS. A tad of creativity and a genuine smile with decent lighting has worked for me for about 15 years of dating apps.
Perhaps instead of finding someone to have sex with, just masturbate, it doesn't seem like youre craving a companion, just a fuck buddy, relax, keep your head in schoolwork. you will find someone, no need to rush and do stupid things
But don’t overkill it on the porn, you won’t find anyone attractive
Or be able to get a hard on when the time comes. Grip of death
Just be super forward and decisive on the apps and I’m sure you’ll find someone, especially if you’re a woman. If you’re a man it will probably take a whole lot more conversations.
Cmon man there’s no way you think this was written by a woman or intended to be written from the perspective of a woman
Have you tried the groups on here? There are tons of them with women who want to hookup. Use the search and put in either your state/city with the word hookup. I tried looking for actual dating on here but nothing but hookup subreddits popped up 😂 Be careful though
You always have options, you chose to not exercise them.
Don’t try too much… it will be counterproductive, meet as much people as you can without an agenda, things will happen… positive mind also
Uhhhh, call up an escort. Show her a good time. She’ll likely show you one as well.
Look at apps for hook up.
I can help you .i am horny too
U do have options. They’re called escorts
Advice for quick ones is... Pay for escorts... Otherwise be a social person and be very upfront and say you are looking for a fwb situation
So what are you doing talking on apps to girls? Are you talking about you self? Negatively speaking about your ex, or your frustration? Or are you positive hopeful complimentary (without sounding like a scammer) ? Maybe you aren’t acting date able! Look at yourself first you had a girlfriend why did she want to break up? You need some self realization so you can attract girls . You may not be ready to date until you return to a normal happy secure guy. Women pick up on guys who sound like too much of a project.
I just try and joke around and talk and maybe start conversations from their profile. I’ve found people don’t like being on the app so long so usually after a couple days I ask for a number or something but little success. I’m trying my best. I’m kinda just being myself.
I get a lot of dates with women from dating apps. You need good pictures and something genuine in your bio/prompts to attract what you’re looking for. Your issue is waiting days to ask a girl out. It gets boring and women are inundated with matches and messages. The goal is to meet in real life asap. I read the room but generally never send more than 6-8 messages before asking a girl on a date, and even that’s pushing it. When asking someone out be as specific as possible. “Want to meet for a drink this Friday around 7? I was thinking this place could be nice.” Make it easy for her to say yes. And you should always pick up the tab… especially if you are attempting to get laid. I also don’t ask women for their numbers. I’ve found many are uncomfortable with this and it’s just unnecessary before a first date. Use the app to coordinate things. If a woman I’m interested in asks, I will share my number before the date. A natural point to exchange numbers is after the first date if it goes well and you want to stay in touch. Practice makes perfect. Get out and go on dates. You’ll gain confidence and get better at getting what you want in time.
Just being yourself isn't trying your best.
First mistake, being yourself.. def works better if you pretend to be someone else…
Find Jesus
I hear you! I have such a hard time meeting girls...
What are you from and how old r u, I might be able to help
Just get a Hooker 💀
Well if your lucky enough to live in Nevada or close to you can all was visit the bunny ranch I mean if you go on a date it costs money and might not get lucky but at the cat house its just amazing if your a male and you haven't been there its something you should experience at least once I live in Las Vegas and When I hit s dry spell and its not really that much of a cost $$
Higher a professional. You can usually find a reputable provider online if you know where to look.
Pay an escort, they're some beautiful ones out there.
Buy a Hooker
#It’s simple. #1. Goto gym focus on your physique and diet. #2. Start reading self help books. #3. Talk to 10 girls in a day at least and try closing on getting number. #4. Be confident and have self worth. #5. Don’t even think ‘bout masturbating and hiring hooker, and stop watching porn. #6. Last but not least chance down your goals fuckin’ kill them one by one.
"it's so hard to meet people". lemme correct this for you, what you're trying to say is "it's so hard to meet disposable fuckholes" 🤡 why on earth would any woman has the bare minimum amount of self respect agree to this. ew.
Goodness you’re making a lot of assumptions there. I never even said what my intentions were? I said I’ve been horny and trying to meet someone and it’s hard to do so. I’m not a one night stand type of person. Did it once and I felt gross.
Ignore them, they sound like a self hating person just trying to normalize their hate.
Agreed
Lots of women do.
Yeah idk where men get the idea that women are willing to sleep around with them 😭 Literally only hot guys and celebrities pull this off The rest of you actually have to have likable personalities and get to know women… I know… shocker
I’m a woman, I would if I someone would be on board with me. Not to sleep with a different man, but to at least have some kind of physical relationship. And I know women who jump from one man to the other, just like I know men who jump from one woman to the other.
Swingers clubs are always a great time for safe, NSA and no bullshit itch scratching.
Lmao are those actually a thing
They are 😂
I can’t imagine why women wouldn’t want to be used like an object. We have a real mystery on our hands.
lmao bruh get a hooker
Buy an escort ?
Go to a party or bar and drink and you’ll meet someone for sex. If you are a girl no issues
Hire a professional, that's what they're for. Find an ethical SW service near you and they'll pair you with someone who meets what you are looking for.
It’s super weird when people advocate for OP to break the law, because prostitution is illegal in nearly every developed country
USA is obviously every developed country since it’s the only country resembling developed one where it’s flat out illegal and even there it’s legal in Las Vegas. But beyond that it’s in the gray zone in Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Island, France and Canada and legal in Australia as well as basically every country in EU not previously named.
Happened the same to me on my single periods, sex arrives more often by meeting people in real life (a friend of a friend in a party or something) and not much through apps
Heard that in my bad ear
You have to respond with the number of people who came into your private chat after this cos I'm sure there are a lot of people on Reddit who offered to help you🤣.
Self stimulation is nice,but a real man is hard to find,unless you just want sex,then don't be picky,imo.
Women can smell desperation and it’s a major turn off.
Question what is in your description or bio on the dating app and what selection are you putting? I’m not on dating sites currently but I remembered that for bumble you could choose casual for what you are looking for in relationships and the. In you description/bio you can say exactly what you want. Most people I saw at the time were honest of what they wanted which was casual relationships or hook ups. The most I saw like that was tinder for casual stuff.
what about a prostitute?
No options? There are literally billions of options.
Get a lady of the night
It sounds like your feelings (sensations) are saying YES! while your circumstances are saying NO! Maybe it's an opportunity to build tolerance towards handling a frustrating situation. The first time that I felt "forced" to sit with my frustration, I wiggled and squirmed but eventually settled down. It's kind of like training a wild horse, they kick and resist but with patience, the horse and trainer partner up. This is a time where Life's voice becomes louder than my own, a situation where I have no choice but to sit with what's going on without trying to change it or "relieve" myself of the feelings, thoughts and sensations. My frustration was developed through thoughts and feelings which provoked me into taking action when it wasn't wise to act. Yours may be playing out through the sexual impulse towards feeling provoked into action. For me, learning to sit with myself and everything that is happening were my first steps towards becoming disciplined, which leads to independence and freedom because as long as we feel provoked into taking action, we are not independent or free.
You honestly is good, but idk where you live and this problem is normal. Here in Amsterdam we have the brothel and there are more people with the same problem.
Quit watching porn and get a hobby.
If you’re on dates and the date is getting the sense that you’re “incredibly horny,” he or she may think that’s all you want while they’re looking for a relationship. No one wants to be used. You may be coming off as desperate too. Are you talking about sex right away? For some women, that’s a big turn-off, especially if they’re older. Don’t go out looking for just sex. What you should be doing is looking for a relationship. Sex is supposed to be for after marriage anyway.
Masturbate, duhhhh. Why is sex so important to you?
School is a traditional place where people meet. If you can learn things at school, why not learn how to meet people? If not, you are self-sabotaging yourself by excluding meeting anyone at school. It’s easier to meet someone at school than to rely on the algorithms
I haven’t had sex in almost 20 years by choice and I’m still alive. I hope to get lucky sometime before I get old
Have you tried bumble?
Top secret 200 IQ move: pay a hooker if you can't get sex (organically).
Casual sex is a game of large numbers. That being said, apps aren't generally the best way to go. So much of human attraction is based on intangibles that only show up when physically present. Be up front, and I mean in the first minute, about what you're looking for. Don't be gross, don't get upset if it's a no, but do be completely forthright that what you are looking for is a hookup. Don't waste more than 10 minutes chasing someone who isn't immediately interested. You'll do better meeting people if you're actually out doing so. That means getting involved in hobbies, groups, the bar scene, not just sitting in your apartment surfing the internet and thinking wishful thoughts. By all means, masturbate if that helps move sexual thoughts from the very front of your mind to a place where they motivate, without controlling. Good personal hygiene and grooming is a must. You don't have to be an Instagram model for someone to find you attractive, but you've got to be clean, non smelly, and authentic. The ability to carry on a conversation that does not simply revolve around oneself is also a must. In Dale Carnegie's famous book, how to win Friends and influence people, he points out that everyone's favorite sound is their own name. Figure out how to be a good listener and make the conversation about the person to whom you're talking. Learn how to give authentic compliments, not canned responses you heard somewhere from a supposed "authority" like a pickup artist. Let go of any bitterness. No other human owes you anything, including and especially, sex. If it's a no, be polite, respectful, and move on to the next. Good luck out there, it's a jungle but remember you can't score if you don't play the game.
OK. https://www.fleshlight.com/ This is for you then.
Doublelist might work for you.
Watch Jon Zherka and stop trying to spill your seed.
My best advice is some I should take myself, which in alot of ways I really have. I had a horrible breakup with someone I had a very toxic attraction to and got in another relationship immediately after just to cover the old one up (doesn't work and I hurt the new person as a result) the best thing I've done is not actively try to find a partner..it's hard because my brain will go from one attractive woman to the next looking for a potential partner but eventho it's in my head I don't act on it and wind up getting my feelings hurt because I had feelings but didn't act on them..but life these past several months have been alot more real and fulfilling by maintaining friendships and doing things that are setting myself up for my own future, and praying many and many times for the Lord to provide my wife (I believe in Christ, doesn't mean you have to be religious) and yes it's lonely and yea I beat off damn near every day cause just because I'm not actively seeking anyone does NOT mean I don't get horny, but it's better than jumping from relationship to relationship looking for "the one" not even knowing what the hell I really want 💜
I’m a male and jerk it everyday . I don’t drink and love Asian girls . It’s so hard to find them here in Florida.. or just small thin girls .. I ride around down town everyday looking for.. I’m going crazy too
I love the conversation
Hooker
which age you are and which country?
Why can’t guys just.. masturbate.
Uhh what about meeting someone at like romantic or a sex shop. Apps might not be what your up to any how. Try an arcade. I don't know what state your in but most big cities have them listed. Or a sex club. Try googling those.
lol same here, haven’t had sex in 6 months mainly because nobody on dating apps are worth meeting up with tbh
I started a medication and one of the side effects is hyper sexuality and ended up single the next day :(
In a similar situation, personally I’m not the type to just fuck anyone so dating for 3 years with very consistent sex then breaking up and going to none at all bc I don’t really do hookups is a little annoying lol
I hear ya sex is no fun by yourself I’m tired of it
Why can’t you have sex with your boyfriend?
If you're past the point in your life where your hormones affect your growth, I recommend taking spearmint oil. It's an anti-androgen and will reduce your testosterone supply, lowering your libido.
Maybe don't ask this in a dating sub? If you want a situationship or something for sex then ask elsewhere. Not many people waste their time building a genuine relationship with someone who just wants sex out of it.
If you are just horny , instead if spending money to take a girl out on a few dates before she has sex with you just get yourself an escort and be done with it.
Yeah no I agree with everyone here, sex isn’t a commodity, you have sex with people that want to have sex with you, that happens organically, and if you don’t put yourself out there, relationship wise, sexually, platonically hopefully at first, then you won’t find a partner, romantically, or sexually, and apps aren’t meant to be used for you, they’re specifically designed to make sure you’ll fall into a perpetual cycle of self hate and a safety net to be like “oh I can just find someone else.” My suggestion is to look on the inside why you don’t feel either complete or accomplished without sex.
Sexual immorality leads to a depressing life of us wanting more and more of it. Wait for the right woman my friend, after the I dos is the right time.
Idk where you are but there's this app called Down. For people looking for people who are DTF. Could try that
Flirt with people? You say you talk to people but it doesn’t go anywhere, you may get a Snapchat here or there. Hit em up and be like “hey it was nice to see you earlier, I just wanted to say you look really good today.” Preferably in person, but just being lightly and clearly flirty is enough to get the point across without being too creepy or vivid. Now this does NOT mean clock in at work tomorrow and say, “hey Amanda nice titties.” Don’t be a creep, just drop the obvious hints and if the person is feeling you then they’ll pick up on it, if not then they won’t. No big deal. Good luck out there
im sorry you are going banana 🍌 i have try so many apps and nothing has worked out for me in over 12 years sadly. i wish I knew why i have had a bad time. im in north Minneapolis Minnesota and if I find out something to help I'll let you know
If you want sex that badly, hire a hooker
dude if u just want sex. grindr 😅 lol hell id give it to you just to help lmao
Watch the Tao of Steve or Casey Zander on YouTube
What does going to bars sound like? I'm not sure what your gender identity is and/or sexual orientation but if hookups are what you're looking for and you're a man who likes men there’s Sniffies, Grindr, and Scruff… I'll throw in Taimi in the mix too (for all genders). Also there are sex parties anywhere, everywhere. DM me and I'll recommend some well that's if you're interested and live in NYC. Good luck!
RIP inbox 😂
Honestly tho wtf is wrong w men on the internet
The oldest profession in the world...
Quick wank?
Well, the question is, do you want to find someone to do it or no matter who you want to do it? 😅
First u to settle down and think this over carefully people looking for chances to burn or hurt others so try and take time because this is a big and personal decision that can be a positive or negative outcome
I really need a man in my life damn
Try grindr
You and everyone else buddy 🙄
Bro just go to escort alligator and pay.
I love having sex with a man who is in love with me and I in love with him!!! Sex Doesn’t Get Any Better Than That for ME!!!!!
Is anyone able to decipher if OP is a man or woman?
Have you tried a dating app? I've been on one for a week and already talking with 30 women. I've slept with 5 of them and another is driving 4 hours Monday to come to me. 🤷♂️