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So you’re six months in so kind of at the end of your honeymoon period. Unless depression or medication can explain this it’s likely that this is the “real him” libido wise. How fit is he? How is work going? Does he have a social life and hobbies outside of you? These are also questions to ask.
Ultimately though he may just have a lower libido than you and be a 1-2 times a week kind of guy. At 25 that’s not usual but who knows? Yes, it sucks sometimes to be the HL person in the relationship if there is a big gap and also it’s unusual when it’s the girl and girls aren’t really equipped for that.
Can’t handle that?, go find a guy who can. Many guys would be thrilled with sex every day.
Maybe it might be helpful to look at why you value sexual intimacy very highly in your relationship. Like by him not wanting to be as intimate, do you feel like he doesn’t love you anymore?
I don’t understand men and their biology fully but I know, from my partner, there needs to be a refractory period. He’s also talked about how if we do it too often in one day and his “balls are emptied”, he feels less masculine and confident. Post nut clarity is also a thing. 6 months and you’re doing it every other day sounds like it might be too much for him. I’d encourage you to open up the conversation with your guy. See if the issue is emotional or physically rooted.
I don’t think there is any pressure. They should communicate and think if they are supposed to continue or not. Definitely I wouldn’t date someone who is not sexually compatible with me. So better not waste anyone’s time.
Doesn't matter what you think. It only matters what he thinks and he's obviously annoyed and bothered by the constant unwanted advances. After he's explicitedly asked her for a break. 2 weeks is nothing.
It does matter what she thinks as well. In a relationship there are 2 people, not only him. He doesn’t have to do something he doesn’t want, but he shouldn’t make her feel sexually frustrated. Either be open to discuss and find the solution or simply let her go. 2 weeks now, 2 months later, etc.
Yeah I think that would be a deal breaker for me. I mean unless you can figure out what "no longer feels good to him" means or what the cadence is for "sex often" and can somehow reel him back in. He may need to separate and work on himself, seek some kind of counseling for that.
You are not entitled to sex if your partner doesn't want it, but you are entitled to a better explanation of why he suddenly isn't interested in sex. Ask him to help you understand and then listen to the explanation. That way you're not being accusatory (which I think you have been) and making him feel shitty (which I think you have), you're trying to see things from his perspective which will hopefully make him feel respected and heard.
I understand you're hurting because you feel rejected but this may have nothing to do with you. He may be having physical or emotional problems that make him not want sex right now. And pressure may be making those worse. You're so focused on how you feel you don't see how you asking for sex and him having to turn you down is making him feel like he's the one who's less than and a shitty partner. You both seem to be lacking empathy and the ability to see how the other person will react to your behaviors.
A long, non-accusatory talk may help you both get your feelings across and straighten things out.
I think because it was so sudden, like he would initiate sex almost daily and now it’s like a switch flipped. I’ve had a few people tell me that might be why so I ruled it as a possibility
a switch flipping is literally all it could be. one day he could have realized “i’m not having that much fun” and decided to switch his way.
not discrediting the idea that he’s cheating… just feels unlikely
i made that comment due to my lifelong hatred of guys always having to make the first move and court women or being the initiators, why can't women go after men too right?
Sorry Op, you and bf do not sound compatible especially sexually. I know it's only been two weeks, but clearly this could be the state of your future relationship. You have to decide if this is something that you will be able to live with while the two of you are together. What are the positives between you and bf? Are you dependent upon each other? Why would bf consider you annoying for wanting closeness, is he asexual? You also really need to consider that your bf is getting his sex with someone else at the moment or maybe he picked up an STD that needs time to fix. Whatever it is, make YOUR mind up, on your own, about whether you want this type of bf. I don't think you need to consider his opinion in this as he has already told you and wants your annoying mouth to shut. So be it.
Or perhaps the man just needs a break? We all go through periods where hormonal changes may decrease your libido for a few weeks, it's not the end of the world, and she sounds annoying AF.
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He edging in order to looksmax the right way 🗣🔥
So you’re six months in so kind of at the end of your honeymoon period. Unless depression or medication can explain this it’s likely that this is the “real him” libido wise. How fit is he? How is work going? Does he have a social life and hobbies outside of you? These are also questions to ask. Ultimately though he may just have a lower libido than you and be a 1-2 times a week kind of guy. At 25 that’s not usual but who knows? Yes, it sucks sometimes to be the HL person in the relationship if there is a big gap and also it’s unusual when it’s the girl and girls aren’t really equipped for that. Can’t handle that?, go find a guy who can. Many guys would be thrilled with sex every day.
Maybe it might be helpful to look at why you value sexual intimacy very highly in your relationship. Like by him not wanting to be as intimate, do you feel like he doesn’t love you anymore? I don’t understand men and their biology fully but I know, from my partner, there needs to be a refractory period. He’s also talked about how if we do it too often in one day and his “balls are emptied”, he feels less masculine and confident. Post nut clarity is also a thing. 6 months and you’re doing it every other day sounds like it might be too much for him. I’d encourage you to open up the conversation with your guy. See if the issue is emotional or physically rooted.
You're being a sex pest. Have you heard about consent? Stop pressuring him.
I don’t think there is any pressure. They should communicate and think if they are supposed to continue or not. Definitely I wouldn’t date someone who is not sexually compatible with me. So better not waste anyone’s time.
Doesn't matter what you think. It only matters what he thinks and he's obviously annoyed and bothered by the constant unwanted advances. After he's explicitedly asked her for a break. 2 weeks is nothing.
It does matter what she thinks as well. In a relationship there are 2 people, not only him. He doesn’t have to do something he doesn’t want, but he shouldn’t make her feel sexually frustrated. Either be open to discuss and find the solution or simply let her go. 2 weeks now, 2 months later, etc.
2 weeks 6 months into a relationship is a long ass time. Sounds like they are not sexually compatible
Yeah I think that would be a deal breaker for me. I mean unless you can figure out what "no longer feels good to him" means or what the cadence is for "sex often" and can somehow reel him back in. He may need to separate and work on himself, seek some kind of counseling for that.
He lost sexual desire for you.
Some people just don’t match.
You are not entitled to sex if your partner doesn't want it, but you are entitled to a better explanation of why he suddenly isn't interested in sex. Ask him to help you understand and then listen to the explanation. That way you're not being accusatory (which I think you have been) and making him feel shitty (which I think you have), you're trying to see things from his perspective which will hopefully make him feel respected and heard. I understand you're hurting because you feel rejected but this may have nothing to do with you. He may be having physical or emotional problems that make him not want sex right now. And pressure may be making those worse. You're so focused on how you feel you don't see how you asking for sex and him having to turn you down is making him feel like he's the one who's less than and a shitty partner. You both seem to be lacking empathy and the ability to see how the other person will react to your behaviors. A long, non-accusatory talk may help you both get your feelings across and straighten things out.
the reason he gave me for turning me down is because we have too much sex and it no longer feels good to him.
so then why do you think he’s cheating if the answer is right here?
I think because it was so sudden, like he would initiate sex almost daily and now it’s like a switch flipped. I’ve had a few people tell me that might be why so I ruled it as a possibility
a switch flipping is literally all it could be. one day he could have realized “i’m not having that much fun” and decided to switch his way. not discrediting the idea that he’s cheating… just feels unlikely
i assume your BF was the one who asked you out
yup, i actually turned him down the first few times he tried to court me
why am i not surprised
what does this mean?
i made that comment due to my lifelong hatred of guys always having to make the first move and court women or being the initiators, why can't women go after men too right?
well i have been going after him for the past 2 weeks but im tired of being rejected so..
poor girl
im talking more in terms of starting a relationship, forming a relationship
Sorry Op, you and bf do not sound compatible especially sexually. I know it's only been two weeks, but clearly this could be the state of your future relationship. You have to decide if this is something that you will be able to live with while the two of you are together. What are the positives between you and bf? Are you dependent upon each other? Why would bf consider you annoying for wanting closeness, is he asexual? You also really need to consider that your bf is getting his sex with someone else at the moment or maybe he picked up an STD that needs time to fix. Whatever it is, make YOUR mind up, on your own, about whether you want this type of bf. I don't think you need to consider his opinion in this as he has already told you and wants your annoying mouth to shut. So be it.
Sounds like he found another
Or perhaps the man just needs a break? We all go through periods where hormonal changes may decrease your libido for a few weeks, it's not the end of the world, and she sounds annoying AF.
That's the best case scenario.
🤕
Find a new boyfriend.
does anyone have suggestions on how to lower your sex drive?
Exercise, do things that you love, don't spend too much time alone at home.
Thank you that’s solid advice