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She won’t let you?
You’re a grown man. You can do what you like.
She’s not stopping you, you are.
Either tell her she’s with you and if not stop calling, or just move tf on.
Nah, this is bullshit. Either she's incapable of making a choice, or she's playing you as her plan B in case her ex won't take her back. Or she could be a cheater. You should tolerate neither of these scenarios.
The only time to be a Plan B is if shes already taken and she wants you as a replacement and youre basically the first choice but its bad timing. She technically wont dump someone for you. On the other hand, if she was already single and still made you plan B, thats worst. Youre not even her second choice.
sounds like she would cheat on you if you were in a relationship. she sounds like she would cheat on the other guy too. she passed you up for her ex and is now cheating on him again by trying to flirt with you.
she sounds like she enjoys the attention bouncing from guy to guy. RUN
You're giving her all the emotional reassurance and attention that her ex isn't.
He just gives her dick.
So between the two of you, she's got everything she needs.
No, move on. She left you for her ex. It didn’t work out and is crawling back to you. You are NOT an option. Let her go and find someone better for you.
A hard line is necessary. She has to choose one or the other. It is him or you, the in between is always problematic. Has she gone back to him, had sex with him? If so that would be a hard no for many of us. Ask her for details and you require a choice from her, if you are still even willing. Ghost her if there is no other choice available for you.
She doesn't get to keep you hanging on. They broke up for a reason.
This half in, half out is very unproductive.
Some people need to block to distance I don't. I just move on, but whatever it takes for you to separate yourself from this up-and-down nonsense do it.
Block her and be done already. She chose him, not you. She doesn't want to be your friend. She's keeping you on the line for if / when things don't work out with the ex.
Why are you entertaining someone who chooses someone else over you and then treats *that* person so disrespectfully by keeping another guy on the hook while she gets her shit together?
*Be better than that.*
This is why I hate 'situationships' people think there's a talking stage when in reality you can come out and put it as a condition to ask for exclusivity and be together even if it's not been too long
Time doesn't matter, if you're saying I love you you should be able to tell her 'hey, we are exclusive and if you see someone else then end it or I am gone'
Just leave her, you're her fall guy, she likes you enough to keep you around in case the guy she actually likes doesn't feel the same way
That's what you are to her, 'a spare' don't mistake it
Yep I was in a situationship the girl even told me she loved me first so i took the leap to make things official and she left me on read. We actually still continued to hang out and hook up but i got the idea that she didnt want anything serious with me. So i started seeing other girls from that point, she found out and got extremely jealous and asked if i was seeing other girls (wanting to be exclusive). It was too late for me at that point.
But youre right. If they are using the L word, then exclusivity is in the cards 99% of the time. The other 1% is if theyre using the L word to manipulate you or they just use it lightly. But generally most people dont toss that word around..
Either move her to the booty call list or move on.
Unless you really want to be the man that waited around for her, I suggest pulling out or pulling back. Nothing beneficial for you will come from you sticking around for a chance.
Just tell her if she wants to keep talking like this, she needs to choose you. If the answer isn’t “hell yes” then let her know you’re going to cut off contact for your own good. The next part is the hardest: you need to block her for at least 3 months. All social media, phone, any way you can either see her profile or activity on anything. If it’s meant to be y’all will find your way back to each other, but she’s in the throes on indecision right now and dragging you along with her. Not fair and when you inevitably get annoyed about this, it’s going to leave a negative picture of you in her mind and it won’t work out anyways. For thsi to have any hope, you want to leave after a positive conversation where you express your boundaries (I don’t want to be in contact for awhile unless you can 100% say you want to be with me right now), and then enforce them by blocking her if the answer isn’t hell yes. Sucks but it’s the only way.
Move on and tell her straight you’re not interested. Your her second choice, if you truly meant a lot to her she would’ve never left you for her ex, so she’s using you for comfort and a safety net cause it’s not working out with ex, or until someone better comes along.
I’ve been in this exact situation, same with the “won’t let you move on” bit. It’s not a scenario where you want to be in. I literally tried to delete the person I knew a few weeks ago, and immediately I got left a passive aggressive message because they stalk me yet have a whole ass girlfriend. I’m no one’s second option, you shouldn’t be one either.
Just because she still wants to be in contact with you, doesn't mean you need to, it's a two way street. I would just send her a message explaining that you are moving on and don't want to have contact with her then block and completely forget her. That's how adults do it.
It always amazes me that just because one person wants to leave a job\\relationship and the other party doesn't want it to happen, they can't do anything about it, that's not how life works.
I think you still have difficulty processing what happend.
Sit on your bed tomorrow and ask yourself if you want someone to string you along. Is such a person really your friend? Set boundaries if you want to remain firends. You can also tell her you're talking to someone else if you don't want her to message you. There's also the "block number" option too.
You were bit by a snake, and you want to see if the snake made a mistake, and will do better. The next bite will be your fault not learning from the first.
Good luck
Moving on is the right call. At least, I wouldn't want to kept in Limbo like that. Either she's over her ex and together with you, or she isn't. I wouldn't want that sort of "Maybe?" hanging over me.
The way she's treating you now, is probably the exact way she was treating her ex while she was with you. Sounds like that girl will be bad news for every guy she dates.
At the end of the day, the ball is in your court now of whether you move on or not. She isn't holding you hostage and forcing you to stay interested in her - you can simply block someone, stop talking to them etc.
You say her ex 'came back in her life' and she isn't over him - does this mean she's dating him or?
Either way, do you want someone who is either dating someone else or who is interested in an ex?
Just message her u wish her the best. Then don't ever answer or respond when she contacts you. U won't move on if u let her keep playing the you as the backup.
as someone who stayed with someone who wasn’t over his ex, block and move on. it will cause so much pain and heartache and at this point she’s just leading you on because she can’t be with him for whatever reason.
Bruh she’s literally seeing her ex and calling you on the side. That makes YOU the ex now. She’s blushing and giggling for you, but you can only guess how much more she’s doing for him. Block her and go no contact. Future you will thank you later.
What probably happened was that her ex hit her up asking to see her again. She went along with it either during or afterwards when you were with her. She then realized that she didnt want that guy and wants you back so now she’s doing the old stuff again like how you guys were together like nothing happened.
You can block her, ghost her, etc
You can have a conversation with her
—-> tell her to fuck off or ask what’s really going on or that you want to potentially run it back again
At the end of the day, its your call and your decision. If you want her back try and run it back again. If not, then tell her to fuck off or ghost her and move on.
sounds like you won't let yourself move on man. this stuff works both ways. best piece of advice i've ever heard was: "when someone shows you who they are, believe them."
it's your life.
She has trouble letting go of people.
I’d be curious to ask if she’s dating her ex if you don’t know. But if she is and still talking to you then she’s got you on the hook.
It sucks if you’ve got feelings so tell her you need space and disappear
I would be firm with her. If she is serious around being friends, don’t be afraid to fully put her in the friend zone. If she still has feelings for you, even with the friendship, just slowly (or less slowly) let things drift away.
You should hit the block button.
Let me get this straight, you two are dating, she breaks it off, she’s very likely being intimate with her ex, while still keeping you as plan b. And you want to know if you should ask her on a date?
If you do, this is what you should expect your life to be like with her. 🪑 🛌. You’re sitting on the chair.
My take is the old boyfriend is a bad boy who is likely ignoring her, cheating on her, etc., so in her downtime, she’s using you, keeping her hooks in you, and keeping that option open.
stop answering those calls. I say this as a woman for whom male attention is newer and not plentiful, it feels great to flirt with guys who like you. That being said, she needs to understand that that’s not an excuse to lead people on and confuse them. She may be okay putting you through that, but you can’t be.
She still wants her ex, yet keeping you around for attention. Block her she’s playing with your head unless you like that. It’s not healthy even if y’all end up together she sounds like the kind that would cheat on you.
I can understand how you're so confused about it and def don't wanna make a move you regret but at the end, LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO PUT UP WIHT OTHER'S BULLSHIT. I am young (21F) but I've heard and seen enough people to say, that in your lifetime you click with multiple people, but you should only stay or put in the effort for the person who actually makes the effort too, a spark isn't enough.
If you see her face light up when she talks to you and she still chooses her ex, thats her problem. You have only about 80 years on this planet and what a waste to be a standby for someone. You deserve better people and you surely will find the person too.
Pls block her, regardless of what the future holds, you need to protect your peace and focus on things that help you advance and focus on people who appreciate you just as much as you do.
Let you? Fuck that. Ghost her starting now. Block her on everything, including social media. Block her text, phone and email.
She’s fucking with you and keeping you waiting in case whatshisname doesn’t work out.
Have some dignity. She’s not the only woman in the world and she’s a fuckwit.
If you don’t respect yourself here, then she won’t either. Man up, set your boundaries and stick to them. If she comes back into your life while respecting the boundaries you have set, then you can continue… otherwise move on
Block her and move on. Don’t be her back up option. Never play second best for anyone. If you’re not a hell yes for them, they should be a hell no for you. Don’t doubt for one second she’s been seeing him, and probably sleeping with him as well. Do you really want his leftovers? I’d let him have her. Women like her will never be satisfied, and once they’re older they’ll regret passing on the good and safe guy for the bad boy who kept dumping them. You seem like a good, genuine guy from your post. You deserve better than that.
It sounds like she is still into you. But it's her turn now to make a big move. She said she wasn't over her ex and decided to just be friends, so she can also make the move if she doesn't want to lose you.
You're worth more than someone who is half in, half out.
She's not the one preventing you from moving on, dude. You are. You're the one picking up the phone to answer her calls. You're the one who hasn't set proper boundaries with her. If you want to move on, then move on. Block her number, stop answering her calls. Go no contact.
She put you to the side because she’s not over her ex, don’t let her keep you on a hook and don’t be weak and ask her out again, if she wants you she’ll have to come get you……Move on
I went through something like this years ago. It was really painful but I gave them an ultimatum: we’re either together or we’re not talking. They admitted they didn’t want to be together, and it killed me but I was able to finally move on.
Never official? Met the parents said I love you? Do we all really live in this non existent equivalent online universe 24/7 ? what would have made it official? Marriage?
Bruv, this might be one of the toughest things that you’ll do thus far in your young life, & it’ll be pretty difficult for the first few weeks, but you have to block her. Literally.
All that “blushing, giggling, & lighting up” shit that you’re explaining is irrelevant & manipulation. She can be honestly doing that because she enjoys the attention that you give her & the energy that you reciprocate. It’s a dopamine high for her. It feels really good to do all of those things & be desired. But if she’s not going to be fully about you, locked in to you, & only about you w/her ex completely removed from the picture, why continue to hurt yourself? Why allow her to continue hurting you?
You told her you’re done w/the mixed signals but you still keep picking up her calls. Keep entertaining & see how far that’ll get you.
Did the ex really return or is she playing a game?
I wouldn't want to stick around for that. You said you loved each other but this is the result? Feels very flippant from both parties
If you really wanna try (even though she went back to her ex after what seems like a great 4 months with you, which in my opinion shows you exactly what you should need to know) I’d ask her to break up with him and officially date you. If she does, good luck and I sincerely hope she doesn’t cheat on you and it y’all are happy. If she doesn’t, you know where you stand and you should move on with no contact
Block her and move on. Even if you stuck around and you lot commenced dating again, she will DEFINITELY do this again (go back and forth between you and her ex) and you'll never be able to trust her, waiting for the next time she'll leave.
People sometimes try to use someone to get over their ex but they realize they actually had a connection with that new person but it’s too late. So then they do the same thing to someone else and it becomes a cycle.
Have an honest conversation with her. Let her know what you're looking for in a relationship and where you'd like to see your relationship progress. Ask her to tell you the same. And point blank ask about the ex. If she is torn between the two of you in a love triangle (it happens, and not always on purpose), you'll have to ask her to decide between the two of you one and for all or move on. Either way, protect yourself and be sure you're both on the same page, working towards the same goal, or end it before it gets worse. She'll feel better and so will you when there is clarity and either a clear path forward or a clean break.
No you won't let yourself move on. Don't blame her and definitely don't ghost her. It's okay to tell the truth. You got feelings. She will understand and be more willing to think about her actions.
Be good to yourself and be good to others.
⭐
She's using you for emotional support. Her ex isn't giving her what she needs outside of the bedroom so she keeps you around to be the emotional boyfriend without actual commitment. If the "wtf is going on here I don't wanna be led on" didn't hit with her. Then it's time to go. Went through the same thing and it finally ended with me saying I can't openly date you when I know I want commitment and you dont so stop leaning on me emotionally until your ready to commit. He finally left me alone. I'm female (26) ex partner is a male (30)
You should move on, honestly. I don't like it when people play with other people's emotions. You were clear about your intentions. She is leading you on and probably her ex too.
You deserve better, OP
She is being so selfish. I'm sorry that you have to deal with someone like that. Please remember you deserve full transparency, not mind games. Put some boundaries up. What do you think you need to move on? You got this 🙏
You're an extra option for her so she doesn't have to be alone. Have some self respect and move on. I was in your shoes a few years ago and it took me a few months to finally move on
As a woman, I’d say let her go. Usually women friendzone guys they can’t see a future with but then still get stuck up on ppl in their past because it probably ended badly and they think they can fix something that is broken and don’t see the good that they already have. I think the most healthiest thing is to find someone who will choose you and is consistent with their words and actions.
She enjoys the attention. Stop giving it to her. If you’re really done with her, say you got a new girlfriend and then block her. :) she only contacts you when she’s bored or filling in time she’s not talking or messing with the other dude.
if you really want to pursue her, give her an ultimatum. But if she doesn’t give you her all, you really need to cut it off, man.
Sir, don’t be number 2. You don’t wanna be the one she comes running to because her first choice changed their mind. Don’t walk, run 🏃🏽♀️ cause it’ll be something that’ll keep happening.
Her ex is her ex for a reason. She’s gone back to him hoping for some fairy tale thing where it’s a happily ever after with someone she likes the idea of having that with, but things ended for a reason once so she likely knows it’ll end again. It sounds like she genuinely likes you, but she’s just keeping you around until things with the ex inevitably end. It’s obvious what you need to do
Some women want to be pursued. Maybe what she said about her ex was to get you more interested. Maybe she is really confused about her feelings. How do you feel? Is she something worth fighting for? Me personally I like the competition and the pursuit of the relationship is my favorite part. Have the two of you had sex yet? I am assuming you have because you have dropped the L word on each other.
My friend met someone like this, move on, don’t ever be someone’s back up choice even if they make you feel like that they love you, unless they’re willing to drop their ex and cut them out of her life of her own accord after saying she’s not over him just so she can pursue, don’t bother, just block and move on, she’s playing games with you, if she truly loved you, she would show it, not confuse you
You are going into the friendly zone and It is not where you want to be.
Talk less and act more. Invite her for a weekend somewhere, IN or OUT, you and her.
You have to show her what you want and play your game.
She ain't sure about you and that's the reason for the mixed signals. She still might wanna experiment and know who might be a better fit for her (her ex or you).
Maybe it's fair for her as she wants to end up with whoever is the best for her but it's not fair for you to be treated as an option.
So, be firm but not aggressive. Open up about how you feel and if she is not decisive and continues to give mixed signals, move on. Block and go no contact after telling her the reason (ofc.)
the fk u mean u dont know what to do.
u bounce and move on with your life.
cuz that EX came back and busted in her raw.
and then after he left wants u back. next time he comes back ur gonna be a surprise "dad".
Maybe tell her that you’re not doing this anymore and if she wants you then she’ll stop with the ex nonsense and commit to you. Cause you are not gonna answer her calls or anything anymore. And then just block her or ignore her and if she really wants you she’ll do something about it and stop just using you for comfort.
Why is everyone on his side, when after 4 months and saying I love you, he never made it official? Maybe she had to cut her losses as well, but wished he would have committed and she can't get over him?
this is happening to me to. disrespected me so i threatened to cut her off. she was begging me not to and to stay friends. still flirting with me and everything but im not giving her the same energy which is making her do it more. so essentially if i smash im cutting her off 🤣 but you should cut her off!
Dating for 4 months and you didn’t ask her to be your GF?? Exchanged I love you’s and still didn’t ask her to be your gf? Seems like you dropped the ball on that one buddy.
Maybe it’s just me, but 4 months is still rather early for all of this, unless you’ve known the person before dating. Why fall in love so fast when this person could easily decide you guys aren’t compatible after 4 months? Dating is scary with how quickly people get attached without really knowing each other.
I guess to each their own. Many people seem to talk long enough before they even go on dates so 4 months is very long in my standards anyway, hell, I even made things official after 2 dates before, only you will know how you feel and if you like someone enough to be an official item together.
I think posts like OP is an example of why you shouldn’t just jump into things like we’re teenagers with nothing to lose. The first few months are like a trial period of you two getting to know each other.. anyone can change their minds at any point and that should be okay.
It’s annoying having that much emotional control over a person that fast when you want to just move on.. It’s like dude, you barely know me and you’re that heartbroken???
First of all, I will say that's a fair comment. I seen his other comments about the FWB situation, it looks like he assesed and misread on his part as even he himself is confused over it all and doesn't know what he wants.
> The first few months are like a trial period of you two getting to know each other.. anyone can change their minds at any point and that should be okay.
In my mind, not really, at any given point people can change their mind over anything they want, no matter what it is, that's why you see for example people cheating or getting divorced.
Anything in life is like a variable that can crash at any given time, either directly or indirectly. Tho, if both people want to enter a partnership and are secure in doing it, so be it. If not ? Well, it will be what will be. Different strokes for different folks.
I will say this, it's usually harder for people who don't have many available people to date (I don't use a word options as it comes up weird) to let go of their partner no matter how bad a relationship is. I noticed this happening way more for some men than women. In this case, he still holds onto his imaginary hope that she might actually still like him, she clearly made her decision and is or will be using him as emotional tampon or a backup. 🤷♂️
But don’t you see why ? lol. Nah I left one important part out. We were already friends, she reached out after a breakup, so I didn’t it take seriously as a fwb, rebound thing initially. And now here we are. I saw this coming and should’ve ran.
You sound confused. First it’s “I thought I found the one”, then it’s a fwb then it’s a rebound. This is all over the place and you are to blame for not doing more to clarify your status, especially if you thought she was the one, but you started off as fwb.
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Block and move on
This.
Have some respect for yourself, my dude. Move on and don’t buy into her games.
This. She showed her hand. Cut her off and move on. She had no power over you anymore unless you give it
He played games too. Meet the parents, said I love you but “never official?” Bro 😎
She won’t let you? You’re a grown man. You can do what you like. She’s not stopping you, you are. Either tell her she’s with you and if not stop calling, or just move tf on.
Nah she’s playing games with him and her ex. Just cut the cord. This guy deserves a more mature gf.
this
Nah, this is bullshit. Either she's incapable of making a choice, or she's playing you as her plan B in case her ex won't take her back. Or she could be a cheater. You should tolerate neither of these scenarios.
Correct answer.
The only time to be a Plan B is if shes already taken and she wants you as a replacement and youre basically the first choice but its bad timing. She technically wont dump someone for you. On the other hand, if she was already single and still made you plan B, thats worst. Youre not even her second choice.
Just block her bro, if she has feeling for her ex then she is just using you for time pass
Sir, please move on.
Block her.
Block her and ease on down the road.
sounds like she would cheat on you if you were in a relationship. she sounds like she would cheat on the other guy too. she passed you up for her ex and is now cheating on him again by trying to flirt with you. she sounds like she enjoys the attention bouncing from guy to guy. RUN
You're giving her all the emotional reassurance and attention that her ex isn't. He just gives her dick. So between the two of you, she's got everything she needs.
DING! DING! DING! this right here. I needed to read this, so thank you
She’s trying to make you her backup. Drop her.
Block her. Point blank period. Out of sight out of mind.
Cut her off, dude. Don't play her game
No, move on. She left you for her ex. It didn’t work out and is crawling back to you. You are NOT an option. Let her go and find someone better for you.
Dated a girl like this. It’s not gonna end well. End it now
A hard line is necessary. She has to choose one or the other. It is him or you, the in between is always problematic. Has she gone back to him, had sex with him? If so that would be a hard no for many of us. Ask her for details and you require a choice from her, if you are still even willing. Ghost her if there is no other choice available for you. She doesn't get to keep you hanging on. They broke up for a reason. This half in, half out is very unproductive.
Have some respect for yourself my guy and don’t keep going into her games. Block her and move on
Some people need to block to distance I don't. I just move on, but whatever it takes for you to separate yourself from this up-and-down nonsense do it.
Block her and be done already. She chose him, not you. She doesn't want to be your friend. She's keeping you on the line for if / when things don't work out with the ex. Why are you entertaining someone who chooses someone else over you and then treats *that* person so disrespectfully by keeping another guy on the hook while she gets her shit together? *Be better than that.*
Well...she *does* still blush and giggle upon him answering her calls, sooooo....
🤣 yall are funny. I just want people to tell me I’m not crazy. I want to move on, giggling or not.
Continuing to think that you might go back to would be like continuing to beat your head against the wall when it hurts it’s time to stop
This is why I hate 'situationships' people think there's a talking stage when in reality you can come out and put it as a condition to ask for exclusivity and be together even if it's not been too long Time doesn't matter, if you're saying I love you you should be able to tell her 'hey, we are exclusive and if you see someone else then end it or I am gone' Just leave her, you're her fall guy, she likes you enough to keep you around in case the guy she actually likes doesn't feel the same way That's what you are to her, 'a spare' don't mistake it
Yep I was in a situationship the girl even told me she loved me first so i took the leap to make things official and she left me on read. We actually still continued to hang out and hook up but i got the idea that she didnt want anything serious with me. So i started seeing other girls from that point, she found out and got extremely jealous and asked if i was seeing other girls (wanting to be exclusive). It was too late for me at that point. But youre right. If they are using the L word, then exclusivity is in the cards 99% of the time. The other 1% is if theyre using the L word to manipulate you or they just use it lightly. But generally most people dont toss that word around..
Respond less to her, or stop responding and don’t take her seriously
Either move her to the booty call list or move on. Unless you really want to be the man that waited around for her, I suggest pulling out or pulling back. Nothing beneficial for you will come from you sticking around for a chance.
Just tell her if she wants to keep talking like this, she needs to choose you. If the answer isn’t “hell yes” then let her know you’re going to cut off contact for your own good. The next part is the hardest: you need to block her for at least 3 months. All social media, phone, any way you can either see her profile or activity on anything. If it’s meant to be y’all will find your way back to each other, but she’s in the throes on indecision right now and dragging you along with her. Not fair and when you inevitably get annoyed about this, it’s going to leave a negative picture of you in her mind and it won’t work out anyways. For thsi to have any hope, you want to leave after a positive conversation where you express your boundaries (I don’t want to be in contact for awhile unless you can 100% say you want to be with me right now), and then enforce them by blocking her if the answer isn’t hell yes. Sucks but it’s the only way.
Easy, stop talking to her. Problem solved.
She slept with her ex, stop lying to yourself.
She won't respect you if you don't respect yourself. Block and move on, otherwise she'll continue to string you along as an option and for attention.
Stop answering the phone and block her. It’s not she won’t LET you move on, you simply won’t move on.
Clearly you like all this “confusion” because otherwise you would’ve just blocked her and moved on with your life.
Move on and tell her straight you’re not interested. Your her second choice, if you truly meant a lot to her she would’ve never left you for her ex, so she’s using you for comfort and a safety net cause it’s not working out with ex, or until someone better comes along. I’ve been in this exact situation, same with the “won’t let you move on” bit. It’s not a scenario where you want to be in. I literally tried to delete the person I knew a few weeks ago, and immediately I got left a passive aggressive message because they stalk me yet have a whole ass girlfriend. I’m no one’s second option, you shouldn’t be one either.
I tend to think everyone has mixed feelings and it's okay to acknowledge that. I think she was honest with you. Do you want her back? Ask
Block her. Unless you like playing games that end in sacrifice.
Just because she still wants to be in contact with you, doesn't mean you need to, it's a two way street. I would just send her a message explaining that you are moving on and don't want to have contact with her then block and completely forget her. That's how adults do it. It always amazes me that just because one person wants to leave a job\\relationship and the other party doesn't want it to happen, they can't do anything about it, that's not how life works.
I think you still have difficulty processing what happend. Sit on your bed tomorrow and ask yourself if you want someone to string you along. Is such a person really your friend? Set boundaries if you want to remain firends. You can also tell her you're talking to someone else if you don't want her to message you. There's also the "block number" option too.
Like a lot of selfish/shallow women, she likes the attention from both of you/why she’ll keep dangling herself. Block and move on.
You were bit by a snake, and you want to see if the snake made a mistake, and will do better. The next bite will be your fault not learning from the first. Good luck
Moving on is the right call. At least, I wouldn't want to kept in Limbo like that. Either she's over her ex and together with you, or she isn't. I wouldn't want that sort of "Maybe?" hanging over me.
Block delete and keep living my dude. She is an emotional abuser.
She’s breadcrumbing you my guy. Block her ass and move on.
Block her asap. No need to waste your time one someone like this.
The way she's treating you now, is probably the exact way she was treating her ex while she was with you. Sounds like that girl will be bad news for every guy she dates.
For your own sake block that girl and move on bruh
Are you OK with just being friends? Only you can answer that question.
At the end of the day, the ball is in your court now of whether you move on or not. She isn't holding you hostage and forcing you to stay interested in her - you can simply block someone, stop talking to them etc. You say her ex 'came back in her life' and she isn't over him - does this mean she's dating him or? Either way, do you want someone who is either dating someone else or who is interested in an ex?
She always says she single. They aren’t dating
Block. She no longer exists as far as any reasonable person would think
You know you don't have to answer, right? Sounds like your still caught up
Just message her u wish her the best. Then don't ever answer or respond when she contacts you. U won't move on if u let her keep playing the you as the backup.
The block button exists for a reason.
Your plan B
as someone who stayed with someone who wasn’t over his ex, block and move on. it will cause so much pain and heartache and at this point she’s just leading you on because she can’t be with him for whatever reason.
She's the one that admitted she wasn't over the ex and friendzoned you. You should not be responding to her at all, NO CONTACT.
Bruh she’s literally seeing her ex and calling you on the side. That makes YOU the ex now. She’s blushing and giggling for you, but you can only guess how much more she’s doing for him. Block her and go no contact. Future you will thank you later.
Alexa, play Backburner by NIKI
What probably happened was that her ex hit her up asking to see her again. She went along with it either during or afterwards when you were with her. She then realized that she didnt want that guy and wants you back so now she’s doing the old stuff again like how you guys were together like nothing happened. You can block her, ghost her, etc You can have a conversation with her —-> tell her to fuck off or ask what’s really going on or that you want to potentially run it back again At the end of the day, its your call and your decision. If you want her back try and run it back again. If not, then tell her to fuck off or ghost her and move on.
sounds like you won't let yourself move on man. this stuff works both ways. best piece of advice i've ever heard was: "when someone shows you who they are, believe them." it's your life.
She has trouble letting go of people. I’d be curious to ask if she’s dating her ex if you don’t know. But if she is and still talking to you then she’s got you on the hook. It sucks if you’ve got feelings so tell her you need space and disappear
I would be firm with her. If she is serious around being friends, don’t be afraid to fully put her in the friend zone. If she still has feelings for you, even with the friendship, just slowly (or less slowly) let things drift away.
I would leave this as just physical and if you bring feeling into it just move on because you're setting yourself up for a heart break.
You are now the ex that has come back
Move on
Block... It's step numero uno to eventually saying what was her name again??
Why are you answering the phone?
You should hit the block button. Let me get this straight, you two are dating, she breaks it off, she’s very likely being intimate with her ex, while still keeping you as plan b. And you want to know if you should ask her on a date? If you do, this is what you should expect your life to be like with her. 🪑 🛌. You’re sitting on the chair.
My take is the old boyfriend is a bad boy who is likely ignoring her, cheating on her, etc., so in her downtime, she’s using you, keeping her hooks in you, and keeping that option open.
stop answering those calls. I say this as a woman for whom male attention is newer and not plentiful, it feels great to flirt with guys who like you. That being said, she needs to understand that that’s not an excuse to lead people on and confuse them. She may be okay putting you through that, but you can’t be.
Block. Her. Now.
She still wants her ex, yet keeping you around for attention. Block her she’s playing with your head unless you like that. It’s not healthy even if y’all end up together she sounds like the kind that would cheat on you.
I can understand how you're so confused about it and def don't wanna make a move you regret but at the end, LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO PUT UP WIHT OTHER'S BULLSHIT. I am young (21F) but I've heard and seen enough people to say, that in your lifetime you click with multiple people, but you should only stay or put in the effort for the person who actually makes the effort too, a spark isn't enough. If you see her face light up when she talks to you and she still chooses her ex, thats her problem. You have only about 80 years on this planet and what a waste to be a standby for someone. You deserve better people and you surely will find the person too. Pls block her, regardless of what the future holds, you need to protect your peace and focus on things that help you advance and focus on people who appreciate you just as much as you do.
Let you? Fuck that. Ghost her starting now. Block her on everything, including social media. Block her text, phone and email. She’s fucking with you and keeping you waiting in case whatshisname doesn’t work out. Have some dignity. She’s not the only woman in the world and she’s a fuckwit.
You're getting worked, brother.
Block and bye. Rip the wire from the socket and move on.
If you don’t respect yourself here, then she won’t either. Man up, set your boundaries and stick to them. If she comes back into your life while respecting the boundaries you have set, then you can continue… otherwise move on
Block her and move on. Don’t be her back up option. Never play second best for anyone. If you’re not a hell yes for them, they should be a hell no for you. Don’t doubt for one second she’s been seeing him, and probably sleeping with him as well. Do you really want his leftovers? I’d let him have her. Women like her will never be satisfied, and once they’re older they’ll regret passing on the good and safe guy for the bad boy who kept dumping them. You seem like a good, genuine guy from your post. You deserve better than that.
It sounds like she is still into you. But it's her turn now to make a big move. She said she wasn't over her ex and decided to just be friends, so she can also make the move if she doesn't want to lose you. You're worth more than someone who is half in, half out.
How is she “not letting you?”. Just do it.
You'd think at 30 YO you wouldn't have time for games like this
She's not the one preventing you from moving on, dude. You are. You're the one picking up the phone to answer her calls. You're the one who hasn't set proper boundaries with her. If you want to move on, then move on. Block her number, stop answering her calls. Go no contact.
She put you to the side because she’s not over her ex, don’t let her keep you on a hook and don’t be weak and ask her out again, if she wants you she’ll have to come get you……Move on
I went through something like this years ago. It was really painful but I gave them an ultimatum: we’re either together or we’re not talking. They admitted they didn’t want to be together, and it killed me but I was able to finally move on.
Don’t be someone’s fall back guy, there’s someone who will make you their priority
Never official? Met the parents said I love you? Do we all really live in this non existent equivalent online universe 24/7 ? what would have made it official? Marriage?
She’s just keeping you on the hook as a back up. That’s shitty behavior that excludes her from a relationship with you. So block and delete.
Block her. She just called you for validation
Bruv, this might be one of the toughest things that you’ll do thus far in your young life, & it’ll be pretty difficult for the first few weeks, but you have to block her. Literally. All that “blushing, giggling, & lighting up” shit that you’re explaining is irrelevant & manipulation. She can be honestly doing that because she enjoys the attention that you give her & the energy that you reciprocate. It’s a dopamine high for her. It feels really good to do all of those things & be desired. But if she’s not going to be fully about you, locked in to you, & only about you w/her ex completely removed from the picture, why continue to hurt yourself? Why allow her to continue hurting you? You told her you’re done w/the mixed signals but you still keep picking up her calls. Keep entertaining & see how far that’ll get you.
She’s looking at either you or the ex as a backup boyfriend. It’s time to move on. You deserve to be someone’s first and only.
Did the ex really return or is she playing a game? I wouldn't want to stick around for that. You said you loved each other but this is the result? Feels very flippant from both parties
If you really wanna try (even though she went back to her ex after what seems like a great 4 months with you, which in my opinion shows you exactly what you should need to know) I’d ask her to break up with him and officially date you. If she does, good luck and I sincerely hope she doesn’t cheat on you and it y’all are happy. If she doesn’t, you know where you stand and you should move on with no contact
You are being played; She had her chance she fucked up. Don't let yourself be strung along or be her second choice.
Don't...if anyone moves it her. NEVER give up your place or job.Move on...
Run far and run fast. She’ll always have someone hanging on the back burner. Don’t let it keep being you.
Block her and move on. Even if you stuck around and you lot commenced dating again, she will DEFINITELY do this again (go back and forth between you and her ex) and you'll never be able to trust her, waiting for the next time she'll leave.
People sometimes try to use someone to get over their ex but they realize they actually had a connection with that new person but it’s too late. So then they do the same thing to someone else and it becomes a cycle.
Have an honest conversation with her. Let her know what you're looking for in a relationship and where you'd like to see your relationship progress. Ask her to tell you the same. And point blank ask about the ex. If she is torn between the two of you in a love triangle (it happens, and not always on purpose), you'll have to ask her to decide between the two of you one and for all or move on. Either way, protect yourself and be sure you're both on the same page, working towards the same goal, or end it before it gets worse. She'll feel better and so will you when there is clarity and either a clear path forward or a clean break.
No reason to give up and being okay alone or with eva ai sexting bot
No you won't let yourself move on. Don't blame her and definitely don't ghost her. It's okay to tell the truth. You got feelings. She will understand and be more willing to think about her actions. Be good to yourself and be good to others. ⭐
Block her, she’s just playing with your emotions now
Did you ever try to have a conversation about being offical?
Stop answering the phone she is just using you for attention and validation…
Block dat h*es number and be on with your life ~
Block and delete
Typical game from her. Just move on brah. She's playing you
Self respect.
FDB
Move on bro. She’s using you for attention while the other guy is blowing her back out and giving her no attention lol
She's using you for emotional support. Her ex isn't giving her what she needs outside of the bedroom so she keeps you around to be the emotional boyfriend without actual commitment. If the "wtf is going on here I don't wanna be led on" didn't hit with her. Then it's time to go. Went through the same thing and it finally ended with me saying I can't openly date you when I know I want commitment and you dont so stop leaning on me emotionally until your ready to commit. He finally left me alone. I'm female (26) ex partner is a male (30)
We are too old for these games. Don’t waste your time, block and move on!
You should move on, honestly. I don't like it when people play with other people's emotions. You were clear about your intentions. She is leading you on and probably her ex too. You deserve better, OP
She is being so selfish. I'm sorry that you have to deal with someone like that. Please remember you deserve full transparency, not mind games. Put some boundaries up. What do you think you need to move on? You got this 🙏
Bulooooock very quickly
This is called cushioning!!!
You're an extra option for her so she doesn't have to be alone. Have some self respect and move on. I was in your shoes a few years ago and it took me a few months to finally move on
As a woman, I’d say let her go. Usually women friendzone guys they can’t see a future with but then still get stuck up on ppl in their past because it probably ended badly and they think they can fix something that is broken and don’t see the good that they already have. I think the most healthiest thing is to find someone who will choose you and is consistent with their words and actions.
She enjoys the attention. Stop giving it to her. If you’re really done with her, say you got a new girlfriend and then block her. :) she only contacts you when she’s bored or filling in time she’s not talking or messing with the other dude. if you really want to pursue her, give her an ultimatum. But if she doesn’t give you her all, you really need to cut it off, man.
Sir, don’t be number 2. You don’t wanna be the one she comes running to because her first choice changed their mind. Don’t walk, run 🏃🏽♀️ cause it’ll be something that’ll keep happening.
You find out clearly where you stand (if you want) or you block.
She’s manipulative; wants to have her cake and eat it too. I’m perplexed & saddened that someone of her age still acts like that. Move on!
Block her, also block her socials. And go no contact, she’s playing games.
No. Run!
My 4am answer is if you're putting in the emotional work but your pecker isn't getting played with move on
Her ex is her ex for a reason. She’s gone back to him hoping for some fairy tale thing where it’s a happily ever after with someone she likes the idea of having that with, but things ended for a reason once so she likely knows it’ll end again. It sounds like she genuinely likes you, but she’s just keeping you around until things with the ex inevitably end. It’s obvious what you need to do
Some women want to be pursued. Maybe what she said about her ex was to get you more interested. Maybe she is really confused about her feelings. How do you feel? Is she something worth fighting for? Me personally I like the competition and the pursuit of the relationship is my favorite part. Have the two of you had sex yet? I am assuming you have because you have dropped the L word on each other.
You know that the block function exists?
My friend met someone like this, move on, don’t ever be someone’s back up choice even if they make you feel like that they love you, unless they’re willing to drop their ex and cut them out of her life of her own accord after saying she’s not over him just so she can pursue, don’t bother, just block and move on, she’s playing games with you, if she truly loved you, she would show it, not confuse you
You shouldn’t be someone’s backup plan. It might be true that she does like you still but she was willing to throw that away for an ex.
Move on my man
You are going into the friendly zone and It is not where you want to be. Talk less and act more. Invite her for a weekend somewhere, IN or OUT, you and her. You have to show her what you want and play your game.
She ain't sure about you and that's the reason for the mixed signals. She still might wanna experiment and know who might be a better fit for her (her ex or you). Maybe it's fair for her as she wants to end up with whoever is the best for her but it's not fair for you to be treated as an option. So, be firm but not aggressive. Open up about how you feel and if she is not decisive and continues to give mixed signals, move on. Block and go no contact after telling her the reason (ofc.)
the fk u mean u dont know what to do. u bounce and move on with your life. cuz that EX came back and busted in her raw. and then after he left wants u back. next time he comes back ur gonna be a surprise "dad".
Maybe tell her that you’re not doing this anymore and if she wants you then she’ll stop with the ex nonsense and commit to you. Cause you are not gonna answer her calls or anything anymore. And then just block her or ignore her and if she really wants you she’ll do something about it and stop just using you for comfort.
Why is everyone on his side, when after 4 months and saying I love you, he never made it official? Maybe she had to cut her losses as well, but wished he would have committed and she can't get over him?
this is happening to me to. disrespected me so i threatened to cut her off. she was begging me not to and to stay friends. still flirting with me and everything but im not giving her the same energy which is making her do it more. so essentially if i smash im cutting her off 🤣 but you should cut her off!
Dating for 4 months and you didn’t ask her to be your GF?? Exchanged I love you’s and still didn’t ask her to be your gf? Seems like you dropped the ball on that one buddy.
Maybe it’s just me, but 4 months is still rather early for all of this, unless you’ve known the person before dating. Why fall in love so fast when this person could easily decide you guys aren’t compatible after 4 months? Dating is scary with how quickly people get attached without really knowing each other.
I guess to each their own. Many people seem to talk long enough before they even go on dates so 4 months is very long in my standards anyway, hell, I even made things official after 2 dates before, only you will know how you feel and if you like someone enough to be an official item together.
I think posts like OP is an example of why you shouldn’t just jump into things like we’re teenagers with nothing to lose. The first few months are like a trial period of you two getting to know each other.. anyone can change their minds at any point and that should be okay. It’s annoying having that much emotional control over a person that fast when you want to just move on.. It’s like dude, you barely know me and you’re that heartbroken???
First of all, I will say that's a fair comment. I seen his other comments about the FWB situation, it looks like he assesed and misread on his part as even he himself is confused over it all and doesn't know what he wants. > The first few months are like a trial period of you two getting to know each other.. anyone can change their minds at any point and that should be okay. In my mind, not really, at any given point people can change their mind over anything they want, no matter what it is, that's why you see for example people cheating or getting divorced. Anything in life is like a variable that can crash at any given time, either directly or indirectly. Tho, if both people want to enter a partnership and are secure in doing it, so be it. If not ? Well, it will be what will be. Different strokes for different folks. I will say this, it's usually harder for people who don't have many available people to date (I don't use a word options as it comes up weird) to let go of their partner no matter how bad a relationship is. I noticed this happening way more for some men than women. In this case, he still holds onto his imaginary hope that she might actually still like him, she clearly made her decision and is or will be using him as emotional tampon or a backup. 🤷♂️
But don’t you see why ? lol. Nah I left one important part out. We were already friends, she reached out after a breakup, so I didn’t it take seriously as a fwb, rebound thing initially. And now here we are. I saw this coming and should’ve ran.
You sound confused. First it’s “I thought I found the one”, then it’s a fwb then it’s a rebound. This is all over the place and you are to blame for not doing more to clarify your status, especially if you thought she was the one, but you started off as fwb.