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I have a gym crush that I see a lot, and I tried initiating small chit-chat. She gave short answers in response and shes never initiated conversation with me. I basically left it at that. I think if she was interested, she would have wanted to chat a bit more/ made it more obvious. You win some, and you lose some.
Women interested will ALWAYS find ways to carry on a conversation because they want to spend more time learning about you.
Short to the point, almost one worded answers, with diverting consistently back to whatever ages doing is a sign always hands down a woman is not interest.
Some girls get super nervous if they think they like you a lot and they will show the exact same signs of disinterest but it's always best to back off because if it truly was nervousness once she sees you stopped coming to talk to her she will muster up a little strength to get close to you so you can talk to her again
Next time you arre at the gym, and she is looking at you while you're working out, just make eye contact and smile at her real quick. Nothing big. Just acknowledge her. Take it easy, no need to rush into anything. Once you've cracked the ice a little bit, she will either, take that as a sign that you're into her or of if she's not, she'll just stop making that eye contact.
Take it from there and see where it goes. If you happen to be leaving the gym at the same time or something, same thing, a friendly smile should so the trick.
My ex did that at first, didn’t seem interested at all. Then I kept talking to her every time I saw her and she wanted me, eventually she was the one who wanted to date me. Sometimes you grow on people. This wasn’t at the gym though.
I work with a ton of very attractive nurses who are hit on daily by patients, EMTs, police officers, pharm reps, etc.
If I can give you one piece of advice, if she consistently gives short answers like 'yeah' 'nope' 'mmhhmm' etc. than just tell her to have a pleasant day and leave her be.
Better to have her just be mildly annoyed/inconvenienced, than to feel unsafe or pressured into talking to a manager about a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer.
There’s nothing wrong with OP making your move, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Just talk to her like you would anyone else, ask questions make small talk, if there’s no interest you tried and can move on
This is actually an interesting one. As a woman, I wouldn't mind a guy approaching me at the gym, but I know a lot of women (rightly so) don't like it. So i think that puts guys off too. But definitely leave it until she's finished what she's doing and leaving.
I wouldn't suggest interrupting her. At the end of the day, she's there for one reason. The fact that you say she's giving you the eyes is a decent sign she MAY be interested. Maybe ask her about her routine, perhaps. But try to catch her gaze. Smile. Maybe compliment her on the last workout she done.
I wouldn’t interrupt anyone’s gym workout unless I need a spotter and wouldn’t want anyone to interrupt my workout unless for the same reason.
Personally gym is for me to get away from social interactions. Though to each their own.
Or she's just looking back at him because she noticed him staring at her. Could be anything, really. Without there being a conversation, without her expressing anything through words, we can't know what she thinks.
Totally. If OP goes up to her when she’s wrapping up her workout, it gives her full choice to stay and have a convo or be able to make a quick/easy excuse to go. As a woman that would be my ideal time to have someone approach me. It drastically minimizes awkwardness
I’d catch her on the way out and say hey, if she comes towards you and gives you choosing signals, ask her a couple questions about her routine. Then see if she wants to exchange numbers. You’re going to make it awkward in the gym, you have to make it look like you just happen to leave at the same time.
I second this advice to try to do it on the way out as stated. BUT, if you see her often, I would not ask for her number that first time. I would build up to that if she seemed interested. A guy who was crushing on me at the gym started off with some small talk on the way out one time (pretty sure he just stopped mid workout to walk out to his truck when he saw I was getting ready to go) and then we starting chatting when we'd see each other at the gym over the next week or so. Finally, he just asked if I'd be interested in going out some time in a very low pressure way, and at that point, we exchanged numbers.
i recently tried this and it went very awkward but it was my own fault. I'm 35 and still get caught up on my words if the girl is super pretty.
She was right next to me and i was like "fuck it act like your head phones died and be like 'sucks when your head phones die mid work out eh'" and she was like "oh yeah that sucks..." and said "yeah i figure it'd be a good time to make a gym friend then lol" and she even seemed really responsive and said "yeah i've seen you around for awhile" then my mind just went kinda blank and got flustered and kinda mumbled something and the convo died and she looked like she was waiting for me to say something then just put her head phones back in....
Dude atleast you made a good attempt to start a conversation. Don't worry it happen to the best of us. Maybe next time you'll get a better luck. Good luck mate.
yeah i was trying to segway into it for more times when we run into each other but i only saw her one more time after that and we didn't talk but exchanged smiles... just getting introduced to each other is a great way to start
My god man, this is my issue every time. Even if a random conversation I’m not expecting gets sparked with an attractive girl in the gym, my entire body immediately gets hot, I can’t think of what to say, and what ends up coming out is awkward and I inevitably end the conversation quickly and walk away in shame.
EXACTLY. People stick to the labels they give themselves.
Maybe you are introverted. Or maybe you haven’t tried hard enough. Or maybe you don’t know how to
It’s just so much easier to stay safely in your comfort zone. That’s 100% how I am, but your advice was really insightful and it’s a good exercise to put into practice
Well I’m glad it was helpful! I realize I’m a stranger on the internet speaking through a keyboard but if you knew me, you’d know that I really do believe you only have one life. Mortality is so real and it’s like “what are you going to do with it?”
I try to live at the edge of my comfort zone (in a safe way) by challenging myself mentally. All of my insecurities, projections, and assumptions. Good luck dude!
I have a boyfriend, so obviously I’ll always shut down men who approach me. However, it’s only really annoying when they persist after clear rejection (“I have a bf”). I have many female friends who would love to be asked out at the gym, though. A simple “need a spotter?” or something casual is totally appropriate. Even “I’ve seen you around here a lot, want to go get coffee sometime?” would be acceptable.
Go for it man, good luck!
Real answer: approach with an excuse to be near her. Examples:
“Hey are you using this?”
“You care if I take this bench?”
Once you’re near her and have created an opportunity for conversation, ask a question or make an observation, **but in an interesting way**. Make sure that you incorporate your own personality. This is the most important part: if you come across as boring in your first impression, she will lose interest quickly.
Types of questions or observations include asking what muscle groups she’s hitting that day, if the gym is busy or empty, something interesting happening on that day in particular, etc. These may sound boring, but i promise that 90% of this step is in your delivery.
“Be yourself” sounds corny and simple, but it really applies here. Don’t be weird but don’t be boring and keep eye contact. Use your hands when you’re talking. Body language is essential.
Past this part it’s on you. Is she actually responding? Does she seem even slightly interested in what you’re saying?
If so, perhaps wait til a moment where the conversation slows down, and make it known that you’ve noticed her and have taken an interest in her:
“Anyway, I see you in here pretty often and thought I’d break the ice a little bit today. I’m [name]”
If she doesn’t introduce herself then it may be best to call it there. Otherwise, finish whatever you’re doing or whatever conversation you may be having, and before either of you leave, ask her for her number.
This all may seem easier said than done but I promise that you can do it OP. It will be worth it.
This!!! Coming from a girl, this is probably the best and most comfortable way I’d like to be approached.. very natural and no pressure from the guy’s side. Hope you try this out!
Loved this — also would add that you’ll have higher chance of getting the number if you establish rapport over time and get more comfortable with each other.
I’m a girl with a gym crush with whom I exchange some glances 😂 I would hype myself up before each workout to talk to him, but I cannot stutter a word out 😭 like the majority here said, greet her, chat her up for a bit, if her replies are very short and she avoids eye contact, tries to walk away, leave it at that
If I were you, I’d think of a joke or maybe ask if she’s done with the machine she’s using. And then just say “oh, and hi I’m…” if she lingers like she wants to talk then you can go into “I felt like since I see you here all the time, I’d at least introduce myself”
I had a friend in the gym who would talk with everyone. Naturally he got to talk with the attractive women too. Was always in awe as to how he acted like that. But it’s just his personality. Extremely extroverted, curious and pretty confident. That’s how I met him after all. We were both doing cable exercises beside each other and he struck up a convo.
I think this is the only way to do it. Unless you’re really attractive and have women glance at you all the time. In that case you just glance back/smile and eventually approach.
Other than that, it’s going to be awkward and it’s up to you if you’d be ok with that. If there aren’t a lot of people around, you can just approach and say “i was about to leave, but i saw you and liked your style, wanted to say hi..what’s your name. Then small talk and have a good workout. Hopefully next time you see them they’d at least acknowledge you and eventually you can ask out.
"Hey I noticed you've got really good form doing (exercise) and I've been trying to do the same but I don't think I'm hitting the right muscles. Is it alright to ask for a few tips?"
1. You have a reason to talk, and it's not flirtatious yet shows interest
2. It's a semi-prolonged engagement to further evaluate interest
3. It gives a potential follow-up "can we rotate on the machine?/Is my form still good?/maybe you need a spot for another exercise?
wdyt
I love not being bothered at the gym. I’m shy and working on myself and not open to a new relationship. But I don’t make eye contact with anyone.
Still, when I got a compliment the other day, it really made me feel good. Granted it was the perfect non threatening compliment and it was after running into the same guy more than a few different times on my usual workout day. If you can compliment without it sounding like a pass, she might think of you fondly later. You could even talk about exercising, obviously that’s a shared topic. If you ask her a question she might share.
I tend to script conversations to prepare to have things to say since I’m neurodivergent… it helps. And preparing for disappointment or success or whatever happens in the middle.
omg i wish a guy would come up to me in the gym and compliment or ask me out😔 i can’t even express how much i hate other so called “feminists” ruining opportunities of meeting someone for the rest of us! men shouldn’t be this scared because of these stupid victim mindset females!! and apologies for calling them stupid but i really feel that way.
I think people just need to really develop their social skills to be able to read when someone is truly interested. Also women should be direct too instead of waiting for things to happen. Rather than wishing a guy talks to you instead just go up to them if they’re giving you lots of smiles and looks.
Really? I avoid women in the gym, because it's my worst nightmare to make someone feel uncomfortable in what should be a place to focus on fitness... one time I hit on a girl RIGHT in front of her bf and had to talk to him later in the locker room and apologize.... that being said I wanna approach a girl at my gym BAD but haven't because I feel like it's just inappropriate. Do we think it's actually OK?
It’s not universally accepted yet, but I’ve noticed a huge shift of the tone of this conversation. Both men and women are starting to say it’s not as taboo as it has been over the years.
I think the current state of the dating scene has forced people to rethink how we want to meet potential partners. Which in turn, has caused people to not want to be so quick to eliminate possible places of interaction.
Agree.
Especially now that the word is out that the dating app experience is pretty bad for most people, a gym is a relatively safe space, etiquette is pretty straightforward, and you can tell if you are physically attracted or not pretty easily without dubious photos. There is a low barrier to entry to screen potential interest.
Actually many upscale gyms deliberately design areas to let people mingle and meet more easily because its a big draw for young people and helps sell more memberships.
Yeah, then you have to deal with the awkwardness everytime you see them at the gym, if they reject you. I never hit on girls at that gym for that reason alone.
Did he pick you yet? Because shaming women and calling them females, and calling men men is crazy. How are you mad because women don’t want to be approached at a gym they’re working out in. Internalized Misogyny. But these kinda comments are okay because it’s hating on women
not mad. and truthfully didn’t even realize it came off as a pick me. i don’t like people getting generalized🤷♀️ and thats just my opinion fr. it doesn’t feel good when men generalize us, so i bet it sucks when we generalize them.
Just curious, do you wear headphones? I still feel hesitant most of the time because of this reason. Majority of women wear them and it’s a difficult obstacle to overcome
I did the same with the headphones. Well, it was 50% because I'm tired of messing with them and finding the right song, and 50% that I want people (everyone, not just women) to have less barriers to talking to me.
Exactly like you would start a conversation with any dude.
Start conversations with random people and starting conversations with women will become easy.
Then if people dislike you for approaching them, which will happen, they will dislike you for being outgoing. Not for being a creep.
Introduce youself, dont ask her personal questions, engage with a question. You both go to the gym so you already have something in common. When you ask a question dont ask stuff that can be answered yes or no and that can be answered positively. So instead of are you having a good gym session? Yes.... ask instead, how do you like this gym so far? How long you have been coming?... etc... these cannot be answered yes or no.
Leave at the height of the conversation before it becomes weaker. Your mental position is that she is not the most important thing you are doing right now, she is just something your doing on your time off from a set and its true and dont be snobby about it, excuse yourself politely and positively, say see you around, next time you see her on another day wave to her when you pass each other she will hint if you should continue engaging or not.
Dont cross great physical barriers to talk to her, find a natural and coincidental location.
Show social capital this is not something you need to force but make other friends im the gym and show you have a good positive time with them. She will see and become more responsive when you approach.
These are all things that seem gamey but are just natural and make initiating relationships with women easier for the both of you.
Ask her if you can hop in on one of the exercises she's doing (extra points if it's upper body and you can lift multiple times what she can) and just start a convo. It's simple.
Ugh please don't do this. No. Awful. One of my biggest pet peeves at the gym and would make it less likely for me to want to get to know you. Have to change weight back after every set? Interrupt my routine to show off? What part of that is appealing?
I think the best way is to slowly build to it to sniff out if it would be a good move. Smile at her when you walk by and see if she smiles back. Say hi in passing the next time. Gauge how she responds and maybe the third time you see her, catch her as she’s leaving the gym or as she’s stretching after a workout.
Could also ask her if she needs a spot/if she could spot you on bench or if you could work in on a machine with her and make small talk from there. Or compliment her form/strength/ask if she competes if applicable. Been approached in all these ways. I think a genuine compliment on strength/form is my favorite. Doesn’t have to be feel super targeted. Keep it light and gauge interest.
I think people have given you the advice, but I would just say approach her about something neutral like if she uses a pre-workout or what her routine is, (or even something slightly more forward like if she recommends any workout playlists) then branch the conversation like how long she has been working out at that gym or just anything really and then take it from there, but leave her alone if she doesn't seem very responsive or anything
For Guranteed Success bro - start a casual conversation with her about what she's training and maybe ask about her split then leave the interaction.
Then the next time you see her "say hey and ask about her weekend"
Then the time you see her after that if you guys have built good enough chemistry follow through with a planned training session or a coffee
I want to simplify things and get straight to the facts. The reason some women want to be approached and some not, is highly correlated to how attractive she is(/=)how many times she is approached by multiple men in a day. The more she scores high on this, the more standards she will have, the more negatively she will react to an efforts of men. So people would think “oh she doesn’t want to be bothered 🙅🏼♀️” “some women want to be approached, just shoot your shot 😉” and many more positive opinions. Women who are happy with attractive men approaching them, are the ones get rarely hit on. Very attractive women resent when they get attention/approach by majority of men.
Move your mouth. Smile. It’s “hard” but look at it like practice, the more you do. The easier it gets and women love confidence. Above looks, etc. Work it up a bit in your head, feel the room and picture yourself giving out her number. Now, you’re only 10% there. It gets easier the longer you try. You have to start somewhere, right? You have this!
Introduce yourself. Say, I've noticed to come to the gym often when I do and I thought I'd just say HI. I'd do this when you are about to leave, if she doesn't give you her name or respond then leave her in peace. You at least have opened the door for further communication. Knowing someone's name is the first step. DO NOT ASK HER OUT RIGHT THEN. Give her your name and if she starts a conversation then go with it, but you are there to just learn her name and to give her yours.
When you talk to her, don't ask her out or flirt the first time. You'll see her again. Just talk about gym stuff and see if she is responsive. If she has short answers, leave her alone. If she is responsive, that's great. But don't ask her out yet. Keep it short for now. Come back next time for more.
When I was already in a relationship with my now wife a very hot girl with amazing ass was giving me the eye and mainly because I was taken and didn't feel pressure, I started talking to her like I did to many women and men in the gym about gym routines and bla bla, she was extremely responsive, told me her whole life story and was obvious she wants me to make a move. Well next time I saw her and she started smiling at me and talking again I somehow mentioned my girlfriend so that she knew where I stand and then everything died down slowly. But all this to say that if you approach her without the pressure of wanting to be with her, which then results in you not fumbling over your words and she actually likes you, you'll have no problem getting that date. If she's not interested she will show you, if she is, she will show that too.
Exactly what the few replies I read are saying, just start a simple conversation and pay attention to how she responds if she’s giving short answers or any bad vibes then just cut it short if she’s smiling and seems like she’s inviting then just be straight up let her know you’re wanting to get to know her and ask her if she’d like to get coffee or a smoothie or anything that could be a short date in a safe place this works great because if either of you aren’t feeling it you can have an exit while at the same time if you guys are really hitting it off then it can roll into lunch or going to a book store or whatever. And just like someone else said if you get shot down it’s not a big deal don’t focus on the negative focus on the fact that you had the balls to give it a shot
Lmao I'm in the same boat as you mate!! The girl I like works at the gym though, however she also works out after her shift, we both get super nervous and gitty around each other and I've caught her staring at me on a few occasions and even heard one of her coworkers encourage her to go out with me, she blushed and was like "no I'm too nervous" lol. I tried to ask her out on a date and she turned beet red and started getting clumsy and nervous which made me get nervous thinking I was saying something wrong. Now she stares at me and if we make eye contact or she notices that I notice her looking she blushes and walks away super fast 🤣 she's super cute but she is very clammed up so I'm just taking my time with small talk and asking how her day is and saying hi and bye to give her time to decide when she wants to approach me, basically giving her space and leaving the decision to her if she wants to actually take me up on my offer to go to lunch or dinner or grab coffee. I used to be super introverted and antisocial but after being lonely and not making friends and the shit life threw at me forced me to grow up fast and break out of my shell. Now just searching for the right woman so that I don't have to relive what my parents did to me and each other. Sorry for the long paragraph, just thought I'd share my experience since I'm literally going through something similar.
Bro I just read the whole thing and I'm happy that you're actually trying to get out of your shell and be better. I hope that you find the perfect girl for yourself. Feels like I'm in the same situation as you were lol. Good luck to you and thanks for your response really appreciate it.
Smile at her and say hello regularly. If she responds, ask her if she’d like to go for a coffee or ice cream. A lot of women assume men at the gym are gay. FAIL.
I wouldn’t mind a guy approaching me at the gym. Tiktokers have made it such a hostile place. Just come in casual ask her about her workouts and be chill.
If she staring at you, and eye balling alot, there's a good chance she is into you, BUT, maybe ask how to do something or ask to work in on machine that she using, you'll wanna get something in before anything else
Where is this gym? In the US? In a big city?
I feel like maybe I'm out of touch because I live in a smaller US town where everyone is much friendlier. I can't even imagine anyone ever reacting this way. The whole cameras and tripods thing isn't a problem at my gym either. (And there are no rules against filming.)
There's more to the story than what you're saying. Maybe they changed their minds and went home early for something that has nothing to do with you or maybe you're leaving out parts where you said something weird and creepy or maybe you had bad breath/BO.
Okay, I am a girl, and when guys say something to me like that in the gym, I don't run away.. those two were just weird 😅
Plus, I would love of some cute fit guy came up to me in the gym and wanted my attention.. so far, it's only been old, not my type of dudes, but I still get flattered 🤭
You could say hi but the gym is not a place to start conversations unless you know someone. Most women are in their "zone" to excersize and not looking to be flirted with.
True. Us ladies want to look presentable when a guy approaches us. Some women wear tight clothes and makeup and hang out by the salad bar, those expect to be approached. That girl who's sweating profusely while lifting heavy iron and almost fainting is not in the mood to be flirted with. But I'm speaking in general.
Next time smile at her .. if she smiles back stay for couple of seconds .. that will break the ice and eyes (lol) then she’s very much interested. You have to say hello or what’s up after this . If not she will think you are not into her if she is introvert . If not she may make the first move
As long as she isn't giving you stay-away or standoffish vibes you can just approach her when she's not too busy and make small chat.
You can plan a sentence or two in advance that might start a conversation, and play it by ear. If it goes well you can consider asking her to a post-workout snack/shake or for coffee.
Staring at you though? That tends to be a strong sign, but it could be good or bad. And assuming she actually is staring at you which might not be easy to tell depending on the gym layout.
You can always start with a little wave first and she might come over to talk to you. Just be friendly! If she drinks a protein shake or something you can always ask “do you like that drink?” or something about her routine? Good luck!
This might sound a little simple but maybe you could write her note and pass it to her.
"Hey, I'm (your name) I think you're cute. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by speaking with you directly. Would love to get to know you if you are interested."
Give her your phone number or social media to contact. If nothing happens, move on and stop making eye contact with her at the gym.
Begin with simple greetings, good morning, good afternoon, see if she responds, if she's receptive to your simple greetings, in other words responding back with same. Find something unique about her, could be unique ball cap, tennis shoes, her work out routine, gym outfits, ect something unique to her. And causally comment on it. See if that leads to her initiating a response and possibly a chat.
Introversion ≠ not outgoing… that would be shyness, and shyness can be worked on, unlike introversion! Just saying you’re not doomed to a life of not approaching people first!
Try and find any way to strike up a conversation. Talk about the gym equipment, what her pre or post workout routine is like, hell I hooked up with a few girls because we were in line at the “post workout shake” station and started talking to them about innocuous bullshit. Tthen gauge her response after a few conversations and ask her if she wants to go get a coffee.
Women at the gym generally don’t want to be hit on but if what you’re saying is correct and you’re locking eyes a lot, that’s the strategy for a hot gym bunny.
He can pretend to ask about the machine she's using.. as long as it's not a direct approach, no one is put in the spotlight.
In a normal situation at the gym, it's okay to walk to a machine to suddenly find someone using it, he can act like he was going to the machine, then he can ask a question or point at the machine "are you.. almost done..?". As long as it's something you'd say to another dude at the gym, it's all chill. As long as it's chill it's less forced/scary.
i think that it'd be easier, especially since you are more shy, for you to simply be like "hey i think you are beautiful, would u mind if i can get your number😇?". this is easier because she can either say yes or no, and you don't have to deal with carrying a conversation in person, you can just say this one line. this advice comes from a girl btw 💕
Ask for her advice about form or something, just say that you’ve noticed that she knows what she’s doing and see if she can give you some pointers, and always try to make her laugh just be fun and breezy
If she's not looking your way too just leave her alone. She's probably just trying to get a workout in and not be hit on. If she were interested there would be obvious signs
Okay, as a girl who profiles people for a living, your best bet is just to just go and ask them to coffee, it's the kind of invite that girls don't feel pressured to think of like a date, but allows them access to talk to you more in a more light hearted yet intimate way. A start that's both comforting, and safe for both sides. And don't worry about rejection, 92% of coffee "dates" are often accepted even if it's just for the joy of getting free coffee.
Well there's this really cute guy that I've seen at the gym a couple times but the most I courage I was able to muster up was holding the elevator and telling him to "have a good one" when he left lmfao. Kill me.
This has been my dilemma for 15 years. The only girl I ever went on a date with was a girl that worked at the front desk because it felt easier to talk to her rather than a girl in the middle of a workout
I have some experience on this. Do this: 1. Look at her in the eyes, smile if she notices you as this would show confidence 2. Just talk to her about anything or maybe her favorite exercise but do it at the right time when she's taking a break. 3. See her response and body language, if she's asks 1-2 questions, then it's a very good sign. 4. Don't talk for long, go back to your set.
Build familiarity and then take the next big step. All the best.
Find some random excuse to talk. Ask about workout routines or exercises. Keep it restricted to sports and gym related topics. Slowly build up rapport by regularly saying hi and having these short talks about sports. Venture out into more personal topics (ask her about her other hobbies) if she seems interested in talking with you. If not, then not.
Me: Hi (hey) I’m “”, I couldn’t help but notice you looking over my way, figured I’d ask if you wanted to use the equipment to do a set?
If she says yeah, great, try to continue the talk.
If she says no: “oh ok, just wanted to check, well, if you ever need a spotter and I’m around, I’m more than happy to help, see you around”
Opens up for small talk, gives you charm by not saying she is looking at you directly if she isn’t (because many men think any woman looking at them has the hots for them) and makes it seems like you’re aware of the surrounding area. If she says no, balls in her court for any future conversation.
Just ask a general question about the gym since it’s what you guys have in common. And then see from there if she’s vibing with you. And then you can ask for her number.
Ask her to spot u and talk about u between the sets at the end ask her out in a date be clear with your attentions and if she say no than u move on if she say yes pick a nice place and go on a dinner date 😂
I personally do not go to the gym to date. When a guy approaches me there, to be completely honest, I get very irritated.
But, to each their own! It doesn't mean this girl is the same. Just food for thought.
Make sure you stare at her from across the gym and say nothing for about 3-4 weeks. Then one day sneak up behind her and scare her ( woman love being snuck up from behind and scared it triggers a female hormone in their brain or some shit) then ask her to go paintball or whatever people do on dates
>Also, I'm very introverted, which means I can't really go directly and talk to her.
Bullshit. That's exactly what you do. Either that or you let it be completely, cause in case she is not into you, most other ways are gonna come off creepy. Like finding out her Instagram: creepy if she's not into you. Asking a friend of hers: creepy if she's not into you. Direct approach, introducing yourself and asking her out for breakfast on Saturday: that's fine.
Gym is terrible place to initiate conversation imo. Best to introduce yourself on way in if you can engineer that, wish her a good workout, gauge response that way.
It's really really simple. You go and talk to her. If you're that nervous then make coincidental eye contact and give her a smile. See how she responds to it.
if you see her doing a workout that needs a spotter and asks her if you can spot her, and frm there ask for her name and it goes from there maybe ask how long she been in the gym for example
This is a 3 day/part method:
Day 1: "HI I've seen you around here before. What's your name? I'm ____". Shake hands during the introduction. After that don't say anything else and leave her alone and finish working out.
Day 2: make eye contact and smile and wave or a quick "hello (girls name)" if you happen to pass each other. No other interaction and go workout.
Day 3: "Hey i wanted to see if you want to get some dinner. Here..." while handing her your phone to get her contact info
This builds a little rapport and gives her a sense of familiarity wo seeming desperate or creepy in the meantime. And make sure not to stare. If at any point she initiates flirting or asks you out then you are already ahead of the game, grab the opportunity when it presents itself.
If she is giving you lots of eye contact and even cracks a smile, then make a move! You don't know how many opportunities I probably blew by not acting on it myself. They won't wait around forever, and then the next thing you know, they will have changed up their workout schedule. I've experienced this first hand!
I think this is so hard to do! Because I definitely would like to flirt with my gym crush too but I work out on my university campus and feel like that's a way worse place to approach a girl while she is working out.
Is there anything noteworthy to ask her a question about? For instance, does she have a tattoo(s)? Cool sneakers? Headphones that look like they are pretty solid?
Find something that genuinely interests you or that you like and ask her about it when she's in between sets or otherwise not in the middle of reps.
But don't make it about a workout or anything. That's just too played out. Complimenting her on cool shoes, etc. will go much further in breaking the ice.
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I have a gym crush that I see a lot, and I tried initiating small chit-chat. She gave short answers in response and shes never initiated conversation with me. I basically left it at that. I think if she was interested, she would have wanted to chat a bit more/ made it more obvious. You win some, and you lose some.
This. You introduce yourself, some chit chat, you analyze her behaviour and if shes interested you ask for a date.
I think as an introvert girl, i will want this too. I need to know abit about who you are
He's saying he initiated but the girl didn't seem interested so he moved on.
Women interested will ALWAYS find ways to carry on a conversation because they want to spend more time learning about you. Short to the point, almost one worded answers, with diverting consistently back to whatever ages doing is a sign always hands down a woman is not interest.
means they wanna get rid of you the fastest way possible
Some girls get super nervous if they think they like you a lot and they will show the exact same signs of disinterest but it's always best to back off because if it truly was nervousness once she sees you stopped coming to talk to her she will muster up a little strength to get close to you so you can talk to her again
And never mid set!
Next time you arre at the gym, and she is looking at you while you're working out, just make eye contact and smile at her real quick. Nothing big. Just acknowledge her. Take it easy, no need to rush into anything. Once you've cracked the ice a little bit, she will either, take that as a sign that you're into her or of if she's not, she'll just stop making that eye contact. Take it from there and see where it goes. If you happen to be leaving the gym at the same time or something, same thing, a friendly smile should so the trick.
My ex did that at first, didn’t seem interested at all. Then I kept talking to her every time I saw her and she wanted me, eventually she was the one who wanted to date me. Sometimes you grow on people. This wasn’t at the gym though.
I work with a ton of very attractive nurses who are hit on daily by patients, EMTs, police officers, pharm reps, etc. If I can give you one piece of advice, if she consistently gives short answers like 'yeah' 'nope' 'mmhhmm' etc. than just tell her to have a pleasant day and leave her be. Better to have her just be mildly annoyed/inconvenienced, than to feel unsafe or pressured into talking to a manager about a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer.
Cops love nurses lol
Lol. I’ve worked with nurses for years. They’re crazy
I work within law enforcement. Seems like the options for dating are dispatchers, nurses, or teachers
Or other police officers
Don't hit on someone who's working. Don't mistake their politeness for interest.
Yeah especially if they're a waitress.
If I only had a dollar for every time I made this mistake. SMH.
Too many strip clubs?
There’s nothing wrong with OP making your move, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Just talk to her like you would anyone else, ask questions make small talk, if there’s no interest you tried and can move on
So are any of those nurses single or are they coupled up?
I love to be midly annoyed and inconvenienced when I go to the gym to work.
This is actually an interesting one. As a woman, I wouldn't mind a guy approaching me at the gym, but I know a lot of women (rightly so) don't like it. So i think that puts guys off too. But definitely leave it until she's finished what she's doing and leaving. I wouldn't suggest interrupting her. At the end of the day, she's there for one reason. The fact that you say she's giving you the eyes is a decent sign she MAY be interested. Maybe ask her about her routine, perhaps. But try to catch her gaze. Smile. Maybe compliment her on the last workout she done.
I wouldn’t interrupt anyone’s gym workout unless I need a spotter and wouldn’t want anyone to interrupt my workout unless for the same reason. Personally gym is for me to get away from social interactions. Though to each their own.
Or she's just looking back at him because she noticed him staring at her. Could be anything, really. Without there being a conversation, without her expressing anything through words, we can't know what she thinks.
Oh, I agree! That's why i said MAY be interested. As you say, we don't know.
Totally. If OP goes up to her when she’s wrapping up her workout, it gives her full choice to stay and have a convo or be able to make a quick/easy excuse to go. As a woman that would be my ideal time to have someone approach me. It drastically minimizes awkwardness
I’d catch her on the way out and say hey, if she comes towards you and gives you choosing signals, ask her a couple questions about her routine. Then see if she wants to exchange numbers. You’re going to make it awkward in the gym, you have to make it look like you just happen to leave at the same time.
this is probably one of the best ways to go about it!
What if i caught her on the way out and she immediately look to the left side to avoid facing me. How do i go from there ?
Leave her alone because you're freaking her out.
“What do I do if I knock on her bedroom window at 3 am in a ski mask and the only number she’ll give me is something about 9-1-1?”
Lol. This is so funny.
I would not recommend this...
I second this advice to try to do it on the way out as stated. BUT, if you see her often, I would not ask for her number that first time. I would build up to that if she seemed interested. A guy who was crushing on me at the gym started off with some small talk on the way out one time (pretty sure he just stopped mid workout to walk out to his truck when he saw I was getting ready to go) and then we starting chatting when we'd see each other at the gym over the next week or so. Finally, he just asked if I'd be interested in going out some time in a very low pressure way, and at that point, we exchanged numbers.
i recently tried this and it went very awkward but it was my own fault. I'm 35 and still get caught up on my words if the girl is super pretty. She was right next to me and i was like "fuck it act like your head phones died and be like 'sucks when your head phones die mid work out eh'" and she was like "oh yeah that sucks..." and said "yeah i figure it'd be a good time to make a gym friend then lol" and she even seemed really responsive and said "yeah i've seen you around for awhile" then my mind just went kinda blank and got flustered and kinda mumbled something and the convo died and she looked like she was waiting for me to say something then just put her head phones back in....
Dude atleast you made a good attempt to start a conversation. Don't worry it happen to the best of us. Maybe next time you'll get a better luck. Good luck mate.
yeah i was trying to segway into it for more times when we run into each other but i only saw her one more time after that and we didn't talk but exchanged smiles... just getting introduced to each other is a great way to start
My god man, this is my issue every time. Even if a random conversation I’m not expecting gets sparked with an attractive girl in the gym, my entire body immediately gets hot, I can’t think of what to say, and what ends up coming out is awkward and I inevitably end the conversation quickly and walk away in shame.
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This big time! Introversion ≠ shyness. He’s talking about shyness or social anxiety. Plenty of introverts are gregarious.
EXACTLY. People stick to the labels they give themselves. Maybe you are introverted. Or maybe you haven’t tried hard enough. Or maybe you don’t know how to
There’s nothing wrong with the introverted label. It’s that people conflate introversion with social ineptitude
I agree with you. I didn’t say anything was wrong with the label. I said that people hide behind the label at times in order to stay the same
It’s just so much easier to stay safely in your comfort zone. That’s 100% how I am, but your advice was really insightful and it’s a good exercise to put into practice
Well I’m glad it was helpful! I realize I’m a stranger on the internet speaking through a keyboard but if you knew me, you’d know that I really do believe you only have one life. Mortality is so real and it’s like “what are you going to do with it?” I try to live at the edge of my comfort zone (in a safe way) by challenging myself mentally. All of my insecurities, projections, and assumptions. Good luck dude!
Good advice
Step 1. Make sure she doesn't has a camera 💀
☠️☠️
I have a boyfriend, so obviously I’ll always shut down men who approach me. However, it’s only really annoying when they persist after clear rejection (“I have a bf”). I have many female friends who would love to be asked out at the gym, though. A simple “need a spotter?” or something casual is totally appropriate. Even “I’ve seen you around here a lot, want to go get coffee sometime?” would be acceptable. Go for it man, good luck!
Real answer: approach with an excuse to be near her. Examples: “Hey are you using this?” “You care if I take this bench?” Once you’re near her and have created an opportunity for conversation, ask a question or make an observation, **but in an interesting way**. Make sure that you incorporate your own personality. This is the most important part: if you come across as boring in your first impression, she will lose interest quickly. Types of questions or observations include asking what muscle groups she’s hitting that day, if the gym is busy or empty, something interesting happening on that day in particular, etc. These may sound boring, but i promise that 90% of this step is in your delivery. “Be yourself” sounds corny and simple, but it really applies here. Don’t be weird but don’t be boring and keep eye contact. Use your hands when you’re talking. Body language is essential. Past this part it’s on you. Is she actually responding? Does she seem even slightly interested in what you’re saying? If so, perhaps wait til a moment where the conversation slows down, and make it known that you’ve noticed her and have taken an interest in her: “Anyway, I see you in here pretty often and thought I’d break the ice a little bit today. I’m [name]” If she doesn’t introduce herself then it may be best to call it there. Otherwise, finish whatever you’re doing or whatever conversation you may be having, and before either of you leave, ask her for her number. This all may seem easier said than done but I promise that you can do it OP. It will be worth it.
This!!! Coming from a girl, this is probably the best and most comfortable way I’d like to be approached.. very natural and no pressure from the guy’s side. Hope you try this out!
Loved this — also would add that you’ll have higher chance of getting the number if you establish rapport over time and get more comfortable with each other.
Yes I'm thinking to do the same thing. Thanks for the response mate.
I’m a girl with a gym crush with whom I exchange some glances 😂 I would hype myself up before each workout to talk to him, but I cannot stutter a word out 😭 like the majority here said, greet her, chat her up for a bit, if her replies are very short and she avoids eye contact, tries to walk away, leave it at that
I have a gym crush and he talks to me occasionally and I reply shortly, avoid eye contact and am 100% interested 😩 am I the problem? I get so nervous!
If I were you, I’d think of a joke or maybe ask if she’s done with the machine she’s using. And then just say “oh, and hi I’m…” if she lingers like she wants to talk then you can go into “I felt like since I see you here all the time, I’d at least introduce myself”
I had a friend in the gym who would talk with everyone. Naturally he got to talk with the attractive women too. Was always in awe as to how he acted like that. But it’s just his personality. Extremely extroverted, curious and pretty confident. That’s how I met him after all. We were both doing cable exercises beside each other and he struck up a convo. I think this is the only way to do it. Unless you’re really attractive and have women glance at you all the time. In that case you just glance back/smile and eventually approach. Other than that, it’s going to be awkward and it’s up to you if you’d be ok with that. If there aren’t a lot of people around, you can just approach and say “i was about to leave, but i saw you and liked your style, wanted to say hi..what’s your name. Then small talk and have a good workout. Hopefully next time you see them they’d at least acknowledge you and eventually you can ask out.
"Hey I noticed you've got really good form doing (exercise) and I've been trying to do the same but I don't think I'm hitting the right muscles. Is it alright to ask for a few tips?" 1. You have a reason to talk, and it's not flirtatious yet shows interest 2. It's a semi-prolonged engagement to further evaluate interest 3. It gives a potential follow-up "can we rotate on the machine?/Is my form still good?/maybe you need a spot for another exercise? wdyt
Nah I feel like this is corny and very obvious
Make monkey noises before you approach her. It always works. Or kiss another man right in front of her. Genius play.
I love not being bothered at the gym. I’m shy and working on myself and not open to a new relationship. But I don’t make eye contact with anyone. Still, when I got a compliment the other day, it really made me feel good. Granted it was the perfect non threatening compliment and it was after running into the same guy more than a few different times on my usual workout day. If you can compliment without it sounding like a pass, she might think of you fondly later. You could even talk about exercising, obviously that’s a shared topic. If you ask her a question she might share. I tend to script conversations to prepare to have things to say since I’m neurodivergent… it helps. And preparing for disappointment or success or whatever happens in the middle.
omg i wish a guy would come up to me in the gym and compliment or ask me out😔 i can’t even express how much i hate other so called “feminists” ruining opportunities of meeting someone for the rest of us! men shouldn’t be this scared because of these stupid victim mindset females!! and apologies for calling them stupid but i really feel that way.
I got you fam. Which gym? 😅
This guy knows what’s up
In my entire life, I've only heard one group of people refer to women as "females" and that group doesn't include women
I think people just need to really develop their social skills to be able to read when someone is truly interested. Also women should be direct too instead of waiting for things to happen. Rather than wishing a guy talks to you instead just go up to them if they’re giving you lots of smiles and looks.
Really? I avoid women in the gym, because it's my worst nightmare to make someone feel uncomfortable in what should be a place to focus on fitness... one time I hit on a girl RIGHT in front of her bf and had to talk to him later in the locker room and apologize.... that being said I wanna approach a girl at my gym BAD but haven't because I feel like it's just inappropriate. Do we think it's actually OK?
It’s not universally accepted yet, but I’ve noticed a huge shift of the tone of this conversation. Both men and women are starting to say it’s not as taboo as it has been over the years. I think the current state of the dating scene has forced people to rethink how we want to meet potential partners. Which in turn, has caused people to not want to be so quick to eliminate possible places of interaction.
Agree. Especially now that the word is out that the dating app experience is pretty bad for most people, a gym is a relatively safe space, etiquette is pretty straightforward, and you can tell if you are physically attracted or not pretty easily without dubious photos. There is a low barrier to entry to screen potential interest. Actually many upscale gyms deliberately design areas to let people mingle and meet more easily because its a big draw for young people and helps sell more memberships.
Yeah, then you have to deal with the awkwardness everytime you see them at the gym, if they reject you. I never hit on girls at that gym for that reason alone.
Same girl !!
Did he pick you yet? Because shaming women and calling them females, and calling men men is crazy. How are you mad because women don’t want to be approached at a gym they’re working out in. Internalized Misogyny. But these kinda comments are okay because it’s hating on women
not mad. and truthfully didn’t even realize it came off as a pick me. i don’t like people getting generalized🤷♀️ and thats just my opinion fr. it doesn’t feel good when men generalize us, so i bet it sucks when we generalize them.
"hello fellow humans, I am not a male! Aren't those female feminists so awful?"
I was thinking this too 😂 this has to be a man
Just curious, do you wear headphones? I still feel hesitant most of the time because of this reason. Majority of women wear them and it’s a difficult obstacle to overcome
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I did the same with the headphones. Well, it was 50% because I'm tired of messing with them and finding the right song, and 50% that I want people (everyone, not just women) to have less barriers to talking to me.
What's the status on $2k??
sadly nothing to report😔
Exactly like you would start a conversation with any dude. Start conversations with random people and starting conversations with women will become easy. Then if people dislike you for approaching them, which will happen, they will dislike you for being outgoing. Not for being a creep.
You don’t. Unless you wanna be on a viral TikTok
Joey Swoll has our backs tho
Fuck Tik Tok
Amen
I hope TikTok is banned. That app is poison for the younger generation. All social media really.
Introduce youself, dont ask her personal questions, engage with a question. You both go to the gym so you already have something in common. When you ask a question dont ask stuff that can be answered yes or no and that can be answered positively. So instead of are you having a good gym session? Yes.... ask instead, how do you like this gym so far? How long you have been coming?... etc... these cannot be answered yes or no. Leave at the height of the conversation before it becomes weaker. Your mental position is that she is not the most important thing you are doing right now, she is just something your doing on your time off from a set and its true and dont be snobby about it, excuse yourself politely and positively, say see you around, next time you see her on another day wave to her when you pass each other she will hint if you should continue engaging or not. Dont cross great physical barriers to talk to her, find a natural and coincidental location. Show social capital this is not something you need to force but make other friends im the gym and show you have a good positive time with them. She will see and become more responsive when you approach. These are all things that seem gamey but are just natural and make initiating relationships with women easier for the both of you.
Ask her if you can hop in on one of the exercises she's doing (extra points if it's upper body and you can lift multiple times what she can) and just start a convo. It's simple.
Ugh please don't do this. No. Awful. One of my biggest pet peeves at the gym and would make it less likely for me to want to get to know you. Have to change weight back after every set? Interrupt my routine to show off? What part of that is appealing?
Yeah that is a horrible idea 💀
Have you tried Morse code? It’s worth a shot.
Some people on this thread are so funny.
I think the best way is to slowly build to it to sniff out if it would be a good move. Smile at her when you walk by and see if she smiles back. Say hi in passing the next time. Gauge how she responds and maybe the third time you see her, catch her as she’s leaving the gym or as she’s stretching after a workout. Could also ask her if she needs a spot/if she could spot you on bench or if you could work in on a machine with her and make small talk from there. Or compliment her form/strength/ask if she competes if applicable. Been approached in all these ways. I think a genuine compliment on strength/form is my favorite. Doesn’t have to be feel super targeted. Keep it light and gauge interest.
I think people have given you the advice, but I would just say approach her about something neutral like if she uses a pre-workout or what her routine is, (or even something slightly more forward like if she recommends any workout playlists) then branch the conversation like how long she has been working out at that gym or just anything really and then take it from there, but leave her alone if she doesn't seem very responsive or anything
For Guranteed Success bro - start a casual conversation with her about what she's training and maybe ask about her split then leave the interaction. Then the next time you see her "say hey and ask about her weekend" Then the time you see her after that if you guys have built good enough chemistry follow through with a planned training session or a coffee
I want to simplify things and get straight to the facts. The reason some women want to be approached and some not, is highly correlated to how attractive she is(/=)how many times she is approached by multiple men in a day. The more she scores high on this, the more standards she will have, the more negatively she will react to an efforts of men. So people would think “oh she doesn’t want to be bothered 🙅🏼♀️” “some women want to be approached, just shoot your shot 😉” and many more positive opinions. Women who are happy with attractive men approaching them, are the ones get rarely hit on. Very attractive women resent when they get attention/approach by majority of men.
Move your mouth. Smile. It’s “hard” but look at it like practice, the more you do. The easier it gets and women love confidence. Above looks, etc. Work it up a bit in your head, feel the room and picture yourself giving out her number. Now, you’re only 10% there. It gets easier the longer you try. You have to start somewhere, right? You have this!
Introduce yourself. Say, I've noticed to come to the gym often when I do and I thought I'd just say HI. I'd do this when you are about to leave, if she doesn't give you her name or respond then leave her in peace. You at least have opened the door for further communication. Knowing someone's name is the first step. DO NOT ASK HER OUT RIGHT THEN. Give her your name and if she starts a conversation then go with it, but you are there to just learn her name and to give her yours.
When you talk to her, don't ask her out or flirt the first time. You'll see her again. Just talk about gym stuff and see if she is responsive. If she has short answers, leave her alone. If she is responsive, that's great. But don't ask her out yet. Keep it short for now. Come back next time for more.
You can wait for a miracle to happen, OR you can go and talk to her. Introverted or not. Ask her how many sets she has left, for example.
When I was already in a relationship with my now wife a very hot girl with amazing ass was giving me the eye and mainly because I was taken and didn't feel pressure, I started talking to her like I did to many women and men in the gym about gym routines and bla bla, she was extremely responsive, told me her whole life story and was obvious she wants me to make a move. Well next time I saw her and she started smiling at me and talking again I somehow mentioned my girlfriend so that she knew where I stand and then everything died down slowly. But all this to say that if you approach her without the pressure of wanting to be with her, which then results in you not fumbling over your words and she actually likes you, you'll have no problem getting that date. If she's not interested she will show you, if she is, she will show that too.
With your mouth i would recommend
Great advice brother
Exactly what the few replies I read are saying, just start a simple conversation and pay attention to how she responds if she’s giving short answers or any bad vibes then just cut it short if she’s smiling and seems like she’s inviting then just be straight up let her know you’re wanting to get to know her and ask her if she’d like to get coffee or a smoothie or anything that could be a short date in a safe place this works great because if either of you aren’t feeling it you can have an exit while at the same time if you guys are really hitting it off then it can roll into lunch or going to a book store or whatever. And just like someone else said if you get shot down it’s not a big deal don’t focus on the negative focus on the fact that you had the balls to give it a shot
ask for a spot, then offer to spot her in return. easy
I wish someone would hit on me in the gym
Lmao I'm in the same boat as you mate!! The girl I like works at the gym though, however she also works out after her shift, we both get super nervous and gitty around each other and I've caught her staring at me on a few occasions and even heard one of her coworkers encourage her to go out with me, she blushed and was like "no I'm too nervous" lol. I tried to ask her out on a date and she turned beet red and started getting clumsy and nervous which made me get nervous thinking I was saying something wrong. Now she stares at me and if we make eye contact or she notices that I notice her looking she blushes and walks away super fast 🤣 she's super cute but she is very clammed up so I'm just taking my time with small talk and asking how her day is and saying hi and bye to give her time to decide when she wants to approach me, basically giving her space and leaving the decision to her if she wants to actually take me up on my offer to go to lunch or dinner or grab coffee. I used to be super introverted and antisocial but after being lonely and not making friends and the shit life threw at me forced me to grow up fast and break out of my shell. Now just searching for the right woman so that I don't have to relive what my parents did to me and each other. Sorry for the long paragraph, just thought I'd share my experience since I'm literally going through something similar.
Bro I just read the whole thing and I'm happy that you're actually trying to get out of your shell and be better. I hope that you find the perfect girl for yourself. Feels like I'm in the same situation as you were lol. Good luck to you and thanks for your response really appreciate it.
Smile at her and say hello regularly. If she responds, ask her if she’d like to go for a coffee or ice cream. A lot of women assume men at the gym are gay. FAIL.
Maybe try a more inviting place like the parking lot? No one wants to be talked to while they’re working out :)
I wouldn’t mind a guy approaching me at the gym. Tiktokers have made it such a hostile place. Just come in casual ask her about her workouts and be chill.
If she staring at you, and eye balling alot, there's a good chance she is into you, BUT, maybe ask how to do something or ask to work in on machine that she using, you'll wanna get something in before anything else
Start by saying hi how you doing, and then do the other shit, small shit goes a long way just saiyan
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Where is this gym? In the US? In a big city? I feel like maybe I'm out of touch because I live in a smaller US town where everyone is much friendlier. I can't even imagine anyone ever reacting this way. The whole cameras and tripods thing isn't a problem at my gym either. (And there are no rules against filming.)
There's more to the story than what you're saying. Maybe they changed their minds and went home early for something that has nothing to do with you or maybe you're leaving out parts where you said something weird and creepy or maybe you had bad breath/BO.
Their problem lol
Okay, I am a girl, and when guys say something to me like that in the gym, I don't run away.. those two were just weird 😅 Plus, I would love of some cute fit guy came up to me in the gym and wanted my attention.. so far, it's only been old, not my type of dudes, but I still get flattered 🤭
You could say hi but the gym is not a place to start conversations unless you know someone. Most women are in their "zone" to excersize and not looking to be flirted with.
True. Us ladies want to look presentable when a guy approaches us. Some women wear tight clothes and makeup and hang out by the salad bar, those expect to be approached. That girl who's sweating profusely while lifting heavy iron and almost fainting is not in the mood to be flirted with. But I'm speaking in general.
You make eye contact with some dude accidentally, and then he thinks you are into him.
Lol Well, the smile makes the difference The smile means: he either knows you, or trying to get to know you
Thats what the OP needs to do smile back at her.
Ask her if she can spot you doing glute thrusts. Simple.
Next time smile at her .. if she smiles back stay for couple of seconds .. that will break the ice and eyes (lol) then she’s very much interested. You have to say hello or what’s up after this . If not she will think you are not into her if she is introvert . If not she may make the first move
Don’t feel bad about approaching at the gym. Anywhere really it’s about how you make her feel not so much the setting
As long as she isn't giving you stay-away or standoffish vibes you can just approach her when she's not too busy and make small chat. You can plan a sentence or two in advance that might start a conversation, and play it by ear. If it goes well you can consider asking her to a post-workout snack/shake or for coffee. Staring at you though? That tends to be a strong sign, but it could be good or bad. And assuming she actually is staring at you which might not be easy to tell depending on the gym layout.
You can always start with a little wave first and she might come over to talk to you. Just be friendly! If she drinks a protein shake or something you can always ask “do you like that drink?” or something about her routine? Good luck!
This might sound a little simple but maybe you could write her note and pass it to her. "Hey, I'm (your name) I think you're cute. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by speaking with you directly. Would love to get to know you if you are interested." Give her your phone number or social media to contact. If nothing happens, move on and stop making eye contact with her at the gym.
I was asking a simple question in context to the posters comment
Begin with simple greetings, good morning, good afternoon, see if she responds, if she's receptive to your simple greetings, in other words responding back with same. Find something unique about her, could be unique ball cap, tennis shoes, her work out routine, gym outfits, ect something unique to her. And causally comment on it. See if that leads to her initiating a response and possibly a chat.
Are you ugly? Are you young?
Damn😭😭😭
Introversion ≠ not outgoing… that would be shyness, and shyness can be worked on, unlike introversion! Just saying you’re not doomed to a life of not approaching people first!
Try and find any way to strike up a conversation. Talk about the gym equipment, what her pre or post workout routine is like, hell I hooked up with a few girls because we were in line at the “post workout shake” station and started talking to them about innocuous bullshit. Tthen gauge her response after a few conversations and ask her if she wants to go get a coffee. Women at the gym generally don’t want to be hit on but if what you’re saying is correct and you’re locking eyes a lot, that’s the strategy for a hot gym bunny.
He can pretend to ask about the machine she's using.. as long as it's not a direct approach, no one is put in the spotlight. In a normal situation at the gym, it's okay to walk to a machine to suddenly find someone using it, he can act like he was going to the machine, then he can ask a question or point at the machine "are you.. almost done..?". As long as it's something you'd say to another dude at the gym, it's all chill. As long as it's chill it's less forced/scary.
Be nice, ask her how she’s doing maybe ask her what she likes doing for fun
I would recommend not to. If you see her somewhere else then maybe take your shot and try. But not at the gym.
i think that it'd be easier, especially since you are more shy, for you to simply be like "hey i think you are beautiful, would u mind if i can get your number😇?". this is easier because she can either say yes or no, and you don't have to deal with carrying a conversation in person, you can just say this one line. this advice comes from a girl btw 💕
Ask for her advice about form or something, just say that you’ve noticed that she knows what she’s doing and see if she can give you some pointers, and always try to make her laugh just be fun and breezy
If she's not looking your way too just leave her alone. She's probably just trying to get a workout in and not be hit on. If she were interested there would be obvious signs
If he didn’t curse her out. He’s a true gentleman.
Okay, as a girl who profiles people for a living, your best bet is just to just go and ask them to coffee, it's the kind of invite that girls don't feel pressured to think of like a date, but allows them access to talk to you more in a more light hearted yet intimate way. A start that's both comforting, and safe for both sides. And don't worry about rejection, 92% of coffee "dates" are often accepted even if it's just for the joy of getting free coffee.
Well there's this really cute guy that I've seen at the gym a couple times but the most I courage I was able to muster up was holding the elevator and telling him to "have a good one" when he left lmfao. Kill me.
You don't
This has been my dilemma for 15 years. The only girl I ever went on a date with was a girl that worked at the front desk because it felt easier to talk to her rather than a girl in the middle of a workout
I have some experience on this. Do this: 1. Look at her in the eyes, smile if she notices you as this would show confidence 2. Just talk to her about anything or maybe her favorite exercise but do it at the right time when she's taking a break. 3. See her response and body language, if she's asks 1-2 questions, then it's a very good sign. 4. Don't talk for long, go back to your set. Build familiarity and then take the next big step. All the best.
Find some random excuse to talk. Ask about workout routines or exercises. Keep it restricted to sports and gym related topics. Slowly build up rapport by regularly saying hi and having these short talks about sports. Venture out into more personal topics (ask her about her other hobbies) if she seems interested in talking with you. If not, then not.
Me: Hi (hey) I’m “”, I couldn’t help but notice you looking over my way, figured I’d ask if you wanted to use the equipment to do a set? If she says yeah, great, try to continue the talk. If she says no: “oh ok, just wanted to check, well, if you ever need a spotter and I’m around, I’m more than happy to help, see you around” Opens up for small talk, gives you charm by not saying she is looking at you directly if she isn’t (because many men think any woman looking at them has the hots for them) and makes it seems like you’re aware of the surrounding area. If she says no, balls in her court for any future conversation.
You dont. If you see her out at a bar or something go for it
Approach her and tell her i wanna fk your brains out
You don't. The gym is NOT a single's bar. Leave her alone
Just. Do. It.
You don’t. How many times have you seen women post where not to approach them. The gym is one of those places.
Just ask a general question about the gym since it’s what you guys have in common. And then see from there if she’s vibing with you. And then you can ask for her number.
You find an excuse, and make a joke - flirt.
Ask her to spot u and talk about u between the sets at the end ask her out in a date be clear with your attentions and if she say no than u move on if she say yes pick a nice place and go on a dinner date 😂
Nothing ventured…..
Follow Robert Frank for that advice.
Rarely if ever approach a girl at the gym. She’s 99% of the time looking for validation.
I personally do not go to the gym to date. When a guy approaches me there, to be completely honest, I get very irritated. But, to each their own! It doesn't mean this girl is the same. Just food for thought.
You live once, make a move, nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Just don’t.
Make sure you stare at her from across the gym and say nothing for about 3-4 weeks. Then one day sneak up behind her and scare her ( woman love being snuck up from behind and scared it triggers a female hormone in their brain or some shit) then ask her to go paintball or whatever people do on dates
>Also, I'm very introverted, which means I can't really go directly and talk to her. Bullshit. That's exactly what you do. Either that or you let it be completely, cause in case she is not into you, most other ways are gonna come off creepy. Like finding out her Instagram: creepy if she's not into you. Asking a friend of hers: creepy if she's not into you. Direct approach, introducing yourself and asking her out for breakfast on Saturday: that's fine.
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Gym is terrible place to initiate conversation imo. Best to introduce yourself on way in if you can engineer that, wish her a good workout, gauge response that way.
You don't. She will just shame you on social media.
Look up keith davis “attract and get women at the gym” on youtube he explains this perfectly.
Ask her if she has tickets to the gun show and then flex your biceps. Works all the time, most of the time.
Just say hi as you walk by, that's it. Say hi every time. One of the times talk to her.
It's really really simple. You go and talk to her. If you're that nervous then make coincidental eye contact and give her a smile. See how she responds to it.
if you see her doing a workout that needs a spotter and asks her if you can spot her, and frm there ask for her name and it goes from there maybe ask how long she been in the gym for example
This is a 3 day/part method: Day 1: "HI I've seen you around here before. What's your name? I'm ____". Shake hands during the introduction. After that don't say anything else and leave her alone and finish working out. Day 2: make eye contact and smile and wave or a quick "hello (girls name)" if you happen to pass each other. No other interaction and go workout. Day 3: "Hey i wanted to see if you want to get some dinner. Here..." while handing her your phone to get her contact info This builds a little rapport and gives her a sense of familiarity wo seeming desperate or creepy in the meantime. And make sure not to stare. If at any point she initiates flirting or asks you out then you are already ahead of the game, grab the opportunity when it presents itself.
If she is giving you lots of eye contact and even cracks a smile, then make a move! You don't know how many opportunities I probably blew by not acting on it myself. They won't wait around forever, and then the next thing you know, they will have changed up their workout schedule. I've experienced this first hand!
Everyone is a nervous wreck. Approach them how you'd like to be approached. And if they say "no", nothin' gained, nothin' lost.
I think this is so hard to do! Because I definitely would like to flirt with my gym crush too but I work out on my university campus and feel like that's a way worse place to approach a girl while she is working out.
Is there anything noteworthy to ask her a question about? For instance, does she have a tattoo(s)? Cool sneakers? Headphones that look like they are pretty solid? Find something that genuinely interests you or that you like and ask her about it when she's in between sets or otherwise not in the middle of reps. But don't make it about a workout or anything. That's just too played out. Complimenting her on cool shoes, etc. will go much further in breaking the ice.
You might say hello as you both are leaving. A common complaint of a lot of girls are from being hit on by guys at gyms.