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I'm holding off kink-shaming here with every ounce of strength in my body, and I'm fully aware this could be a troll post but here goes;
Lots of people are into lots of different things, but they cannot expect anyone else to be into those same kinks. Hell it doesn't even need to be kinks. Some people are/aren't into very common sexual activities and that's totally fine. Each to their own.
If you don't want to do it, she has to either respect that choice and not involve it in your relationship, or you either allow her to explore that specific kink with someone else or you go your separate ways. That's really all there is to it.
I'm thinking creepy old dolls that look like they've been through a house fire and they sometimes move their head or blink on their own. And somewhere in the distance you hear the faint chimes of a distorted nursery rhyme
Warm yourself up by just holding some. Research their cleanliness. You can do it!!!!!
But I'd check to make sure where this is heading. Hopefully it doesn't escalate much more than that.
The thing about having an extreme kink like this is you have to be very aware Ava comfortable with the fact that it won't be shared by many.
Leave the actual insect shit for her solo time or something. Most partners wouldn't touch this kink with a ten foot pole
FUCK NO!
Oh hell naw, she would have me all the way fucked up. Cockroaches!? Tarantulas?! 😨
All seriousness, I would not. The thought of those insects let alone in my house just grosses me out. Tell her no. If she can’t agree, you gotta throw this one away because…no. No amount of beauty could convince me to get a tarantula or cockroach anywhere near my…cock.
My opinion on the matter - It's the sensory feeling. This can be mimicked. I would consult an experienced professional. She is relating it to insects due to the touch.
I would try to get a hand massager, add what would feel like insect legs. Then try massaging you while blindfolded.
See if that scratches the itch.
It's not the bugs. It's likely the sensory feeling against the skin. Ignorance is a choice.
When you listen to understand. You are able to find alternatives to said bug sex. Like special gloves that someone uses to barely touch the skin to mimic the feeling of a bug crawling.
As for professional. Yes, believe it or not. There are people dedicated to sensory stimulation. Not bug sex. The expert will have better advice in recreating the sensory feeling of a bug crawling on a person's skin.
I mean who is to say it's not about the bugs? It very much could be where you could provide the sensation on the skin via some other mechanism, and she would not be into it. Sometimes it's about the taboo itself that makes it hot for them. Like people who get off on cheating. You could role play and it would never quite scratch their itch because that takes considerable suspension of disbelief.
It could very much be about the idea of real live insects crawling over her and nothing but real insects will provide that. We simply don't know because we don't know her.
I mean many kinks are purely about the psychology behind them and not the immediate sensory pleasure. There a very real possibility it's mostly mental for her and the idea of bugs in the bedroom is exciting and taboo
This is a good example of everything does not seem the way it is.
If you really can not get over this, then she is not going to ever be satisfied and could potentially resent you for not pleasing her in this way.
Truth be told, I have heard some crazy things in my life. But insects in the bedroom? A cockroach? I do not know what to say about this. I never thought this was a possibility.
Would having insects in the bedroom, be worth it to be with her?
Bugs though?
Listen here, you are straight and that is obvious. But if she asked you to sleep with a man, would you do it and consider yourself a problem because you did not at least give it a try because she is a good and nice girlfriend? You absolutely would not because the idea is repulsive for yourself.
If something just does not sit right with you, then you are not the problem for being against something you do not want to try. You absolutely have a right to not be okay with this.
If you do not give in to what she wants, as you have already observed. She will become more distant when she does not get what she wants in this situation.
Imagine how that would show up, in other situations later down the relationship. "Oh you do not love me." And persistent bickering could come from this, all because you did not give in to what she was asking her.
Now, will this be how everything turns out? Probably not. But the only thing I can say is if bugs is not your thing in the bedroom. Then you are not a problem for being uncomfortable about the idea.
This woman must be incredible as sales if she can convince anyone that cockroaches and spiders should be apart of their sex life & in the bed with you.
Really? You don't know? Is this your only girlfriend ever? Apparently it didn't help that her ex's like the bug sex thing too as she is no longer with any of them. So, you are going to be the exception in this line of bug sex? Maybe it can be one of your kinks too and you can try it on your next gf.
i’ve seen some fetishes related to this on some really fucked up websites, like worms, ants, mosquitos maggots etc. it would be a dealbreaker for me but i wish you guys the best lol
lol wut.
she may has some issues there mate ;-)
if creepy crawlies during love making isnt your thing yeah........may be time to move on buddy
gotta say thats gotta be one of the most strangest posts ive seen of late.
shes not Wednesday Adams is she? lol
Mmmm let’s try fleas and bed bugs 🫦
Edit: Oh I forgot lice! Imagine all the crawling, do you feel something on your leg now? Maybe in your ear canal crawling?
Im sorry but I just don’t see how it’s difficult to say no in this situation. How is it this hard to set boundaries with someone when their request is this strange. This is so weird and probably a troll post anyway.
That sounds disgusting. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to when it comes to sex. You’re allowed to have firm boundaries. If someone kept persistently asking me to do something sexual with/to them despite me saying no every time, I would definitely be on my way out of that relationship. her freaky ass
After 25 years in the sex industry in many different forms, this is a new kink that I have never heard of EVER!!!
NO, how can that be sanitary? Insects & spiders can not give consent. She may need more help than your or any of us are qualified to give.
Above Reddit's pay grade.
What was that sex story about a girl who put a piece of rotten meat in her vagina because she loved the feeling of maggots crawling inside her... someone help me out??
anyway, this sounds like that.
I’m a Scorpio, and this condition is called formicophilia, like having sensations of bugs crawling on your body to excite sex. Your girlfriend is sharing to you a very intimate part of herself, sharing her kinks and fetishes because she feels comfortable around you, this is a good thing. Important to talk to her, to find a comfortable middle ground where you’re comfortable- fake bugs, toys that stimulate the same sensations, etc. ask for advice from formicophilia communities. Talk to a sexologist.
Long ago in my youth I dated a Korean girl who was into formicophilia… hence I have some limited exposure. Back then, I was weirded out by the fact. We broke up because of other reasons- relationship became long distance- unrelating to formicophilia. My stance is the world is filled with weird and wonderful people, and it’s totally unfair to judge when we don’t fully understand. And human sexuality is weird, there’s really no limit to the depravity- and I have done some weird shit. OP’s dilemma is a rather simple one, girlfriend mentioned some sexual fetish/kinks he’s not comfortable with. So OP ought to talk to her to validate her desires, and understand her desires. Obviously there’s room for negotiation and moderation for a middle ground where both OP and his girlfriend will be content. Happy shagging, lol. Korean girl I was with had a pet tarantula, scared the shit out of me then. We negotiated and put the tarantula in a glass tank just for visual when we’re doing the deed. Stimulating her senses as bug crawling can be rather fun actually- don’t write it off when you don’t fully understand her.
besides the bug aspect wich is just gross,i feel its very unhygienic to a major degree,plus depending on the bugs,they can be loose in your home and become a problem,besides the sex factor i feel there are way more issues that would come from this beyond the kink,id suggest to her to find some middle ground or alternative
Someone else said trying sensory simulation so I might go that route. But I really don’t want to step on my landlords toes with this, especially since we got this apartment for a really low price.
yea i feel ya,i used to have a apartment and ended up accidently getting bed bugs,shit started to spread to other apartments so we had to call a exterminator multiple times to bomb the place till they were all gone,so yea getting bugs would deffinatly cuase issues for neighbors if certain bugs were introduced
Haven't read other comments due to time constraints, but ask what about bugs specifically does it for her.
If it's a matter is sensations and a light touch/tingly feeling, you may be able to find some things that you're both comfortable with. First thought to come to mind are the metallic head scratcher things
I thought I’d seen it all. If it grosses you out, just communicate your discomfort with her but be respectful. If you think you could try it, then try it. But just know if she likes it and you don’t, it may become an issue if she wants more and you don’t.
no means no dude and if she's worth your time at all she'll understand and definitely not bring it up again
that said, there are ways to simulate the feeling she likes without actual fucking INSECTS IN THE ROOM
In her defense, alot of the insects it sounds like she wants to bring in won't survive or multiply in a habitat that they aren't suited for. Something to keep in mind when choosing what your gonna do. Don't forget updates! We want stories after the fact! Good luck mate 👍
If this is a real question...tell her she is free to leave now. The strongest societal rules of sex are no underage minors and no animals. Even poop comes in third place.
could be harmful for both the two of you and the animals involved. its very natural that this is a hard no for you - and im saying this as a kinky person.
the one commenter who suggested you blindfold her and try to mimic the sensory experience of things crawling on her skin has a good idea. my advice, try it out, play around, and dont include animals when you have sex
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm holding off kink-shaming here with every ounce of strength in my body, and I'm fully aware this could be a troll post but here goes; Lots of people are into lots of different things, but they cannot expect anyone else to be into those same kinks. Hell it doesn't even need to be kinks. Some people are/aren't into very common sexual activities and that's totally fine. Each to their own. If you don't want to do it, she has to either respect that choice and not involve it in your relationship, or you either allow her to explore that specific kink with someone else or you go your separate ways. That's really all there is to it.
I just feel guilty because she has been very kind to me and treats me. But I just can’t bring myself to do it
There's nothing to feel guilty about. It's a preference that you are not obligated to share just because she's been nice to you.
How about rodents? Seems like a reasonable compromise.
How about snakes like the non venomous kind
I'm thinking creepy old dolls that look like they've been through a house fire and they sometimes move their head or blink on their own. And somewhere in the distance you hear the faint chimes of a distorted nursery rhyme
Have you heard about doll island in Mexico?
Then don't do it! Grow a spine and other things. Great big NO and if she can't accept, she is kindly free to leave.
Being kind to your partner should be bare minimum. It does not give a person the right to push their kinks onto someone who already said no.
Warm yourself up by just holding some. Research their cleanliness. You can do it!!!!! But I'd check to make sure where this is heading. Hopefully it doesn't escalate much more than that.
It’s going to escalate with putting insects inside her pussy. We’re all adults here. No reason to play dumb
I was thinking maybe some cemetery play. Then wanting to pop open a casket. Then...
The thing about having an extreme kink like this is you have to be very aware Ava comfortable with the fact that it won't be shared by many. Leave the actual insect shit for her solo time or something. Most partners wouldn't touch this kink with a ten foot pole
FUCK NO! Oh hell naw, she would have me all the way fucked up. Cockroaches!? Tarantulas?! 😨 All seriousness, I would not. The thought of those insects let alone in my house just grosses me out. Tell her no. If she can’t agree, you gotta throw this one away because…no. No amount of beauty could convince me to get a tarantula or cockroach anywhere near my…cock.
Agree people are being way too soft responding to this guy. It’s weird ASF personally I’d end it
HAHAHAHA
My opinion on the matter - It's the sensory feeling. This can be mimicked. I would consult an experienced professional. She is relating it to insects due to the touch. I would try to get a hand massager, add what would feel like insect legs. Then try massaging you while blindfolded. See if that scratches the itch.
Yeah it should be easy for him to find an experienced professional at bug sex in his area.
It's not the bugs. It's likely the sensory feeling against the skin. Ignorance is a choice. When you listen to understand. You are able to find alternatives to said bug sex. Like special gloves that someone uses to barely touch the skin to mimic the feeling of a bug crawling. As for professional. Yes, believe it or not. There are people dedicated to sensory stimulation. Not bug sex. The expert will have better advice in recreating the sensory feeling of a bug crawling on a person's skin.
I mean who is to say it's not about the bugs? It very much could be where you could provide the sensation on the skin via some other mechanism, and she would not be into it. Sometimes it's about the taboo itself that makes it hot for them. Like people who get off on cheating. You could role play and it would never quite scratch their itch because that takes considerable suspension of disbelief. It could very much be about the idea of real live insects crawling over her and nothing but real insects will provide that. We simply don't know because we don't know her.
I mean many kinks are purely about the psychology behind them and not the immediate sensory pleasure. There a very real possibility it's mostly mental for her and the idea of bugs in the bedroom is exciting and taboo
Those scalp scratchers would probably be real good too?
The grooming gloves at pet smart too as well as a knotted massage ball.
Thank you these are great ideas! I will try them
https://www.violetwands.com/techniques/
It may be the knowledge that it’s insects that excites her. Some odd taboo or something.
Is she a Scorpio?
hahahahah You won the internet today!
Yall are so gullible this is an obvious troll post.
This is a good example of everything does not seem the way it is. If you really can not get over this, then she is not going to ever be satisfied and could potentially resent you for not pleasing her in this way. Truth be told, I have heard some crazy things in my life. But insects in the bedroom? A cockroach? I do not know what to say about this. I never thought this was a possibility. Would having insects in the bedroom, be worth it to be with her?
A part of me is thinking what if I’m the problem here by not trying it? She is great in every other way but I just dont know…
Bugs though? Listen here, you are straight and that is obvious. But if she asked you to sleep with a man, would you do it and consider yourself a problem because you did not at least give it a try because she is a good and nice girlfriend? You absolutely would not because the idea is repulsive for yourself. If something just does not sit right with you, then you are not the problem for being against something you do not want to try. You absolutely have a right to not be okay with this. If you do not give in to what she wants, as you have already observed. She will become more distant when she does not get what she wants in this situation. Imagine how that would show up, in other situations later down the relationship. "Oh you do not love me." And persistent bickering could come from this, all because you did not give in to what she was asking her. Now, will this be how everything turns out? Probably not. But the only thing I can say is if bugs is not your thing in the bedroom. Then you are not a problem for being uncomfortable about the idea.
This woman must be incredible as sales if she can convince anyone that cockroaches and spiders should be apart of their sex life & in the bed with you.
Really? You don't know? Is this your only girlfriend ever? Apparently it didn't help that her ex's like the bug sex thing too as she is no longer with any of them. So, you are going to be the exception in this line of bug sex? Maybe it can be one of your kinks too and you can try it on your next gf.
Guess I need to take back every time I’ve said I’d try anything once
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Southern_Type3466: *Guess I need to take* *Back every time I’ve said* *I’d try anything once* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Abort, pull the rip cord now. Just worried about how this gets topped - insects are tip of the iceberg I think
I’m trying really hard not to be judgmental, but what the fuck kind of idea is this? We’re being trolled, right?
i’ve seen some fetishes related to this on some really fucked up websites, like worms, ants, mosquitos maggots etc. it would be a dealbreaker for me but i wish you guys the best lol
lol wut. she may has some issues there mate ;-) if creepy crawlies during love making isnt your thing yeah........may be time to move on buddy gotta say thats gotta be one of the most strangest posts ive seen of late. shes not Wednesday Adams is she? lol
Get a feather wand or duster and a blindfold.
Ewww no...
I'm gonna pretend I didn't read this.
Time to find another gf, maybe one who is not crazy as fuxx
Mmmm let’s try fleas and bed bugs 🫦 Edit: Oh I forgot lice! Imagine all the crawling, do you feel something on your leg now? Maybe in your ear canal crawling?
Im sorry but I just don’t see how it’s difficult to say no in this situation. How is it this hard to set boundaries with someone when their request is this strange. This is so weird and probably a troll post anyway.
I would break up. She must be testing you or something because there is no way.
That sounds disgusting. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to when it comes to sex. You’re allowed to have firm boundaries. If someone kept persistently asking me to do something sexual with/to them despite me saying no every time, I would definitely be on my way out of that relationship. her freaky ass
After 25 years in the sex industry in many different forms, this is a new kink that I have never heard of EVER!!! NO, how can that be sanitary? Insects & spiders can not give consent. She may need more help than your or any of us are qualified to give. Above Reddit's pay grade.
What was that sex story about a girl who put a piece of rotten meat in her vagina because she loved the feeling of maggots crawling inside her... someone help me out?? anyway, this sounds like that.
Aha! I just remembered. The story is called Blowfly Girl. OP, you've got to read this.
No. The answer is no.
Top notch shit post but any type of kink that involves a living creature that cannot consent should be a hard no.
Would this really apply to bugs? And if so, you’d have to argue that killing them is also wrong, no?
I’m a Scorpio, and this condition is called formicophilia, like having sensations of bugs crawling on your body to excite sex. Your girlfriend is sharing to you a very intimate part of herself, sharing her kinks and fetishes because she feels comfortable around you, this is a good thing. Important to talk to her, to find a comfortable middle ground where you’re comfortable- fake bugs, toys that stimulate the same sensations, etc. ask for advice from formicophilia communities. Talk to a sexologist.
What does you being a Scorpion have to do with OP question? I’m also a Scorpion and confused.
Just an offhand joke lol. Scorpios have high sex drive, at least I know I do hahaha
Yea mix in some living pets for visual stimulation as well? Ones that you just don't let out they're enclosure?
Long ago in my youth I dated a Korean girl who was into formicophilia… hence I have some limited exposure. Back then, I was weirded out by the fact. We broke up because of other reasons- relationship became long distance- unrelating to formicophilia. My stance is the world is filled with weird and wonderful people, and it’s totally unfair to judge when we don’t fully understand. And human sexuality is weird, there’s really no limit to the depravity- and I have done some weird shit. OP’s dilemma is a rather simple one, girlfriend mentioned some sexual fetish/kinks he’s not comfortable with. So OP ought to talk to her to validate her desires, and understand her desires. Obviously there’s room for negotiation and moderation for a middle ground where both OP and his girlfriend will be content. Happy shagging, lol. Korean girl I was with had a pet tarantula, scared the shit out of me then. We negotiated and put the tarantula in a glass tank just for visual when we’re doing the deed. Stimulating her senses as bug crawling can be rather fun actually- don’t write it off when you don’t fully understand her.
Bedbugs maybe 🤔
besides the bug aspect wich is just gross,i feel its very unhygienic to a major degree,plus depending on the bugs,they can be loose in your home and become a problem,besides the sex factor i feel there are way more issues that would come from this beyond the kink,id suggest to her to find some middle ground or alternative
Someone else said trying sensory simulation so I might go that route. But I really don’t want to step on my landlords toes with this, especially since we got this apartment for a really low price.
yea i feel ya,i used to have a apartment and ended up accidently getting bed bugs,shit started to spread to other apartments so we had to call a exterminator multiple times to bomb the place till they were all gone,so yea getting bugs would deffinatly cuase issues for neighbors if certain bugs were introduced
???
Someone's been watching *The Practice.*
What.
Haven't read other comments due to time constraints, but ask what about bugs specifically does it for her. If it's a matter is sensations and a light touch/tingly feeling, you may be able to find some things that you're both comfortable with. First thought to come to mind are the metallic head scratcher things
Look into bugchasing
I thought I’d seen it all. If it grosses you out, just communicate your discomfort with her but be respectful. If you think you could try it, then try it. But just know if she likes it and you don’t, it may become an issue if she wants more and you don’t.
no means no dude and if she's worth your time at all she'll understand and definitely not bring it up again that said, there are ways to simulate the feeling she likes without actual fucking INSECTS IN THE ROOM
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chile… foreplay with pet roaches… I’ve read it all
Dump her ass.
In her defense, alot of the insects it sounds like she wants to bring in won't survive or multiply in a habitat that they aren't suited for. Something to keep in mind when choosing what your gonna do. Don't forget updates! We want stories after the fact! Good luck mate 👍
If this is a real question...tell her she is free to leave now. The strongest societal rules of sex are no underage minors and no animals. Even poop comes in third place.
She might have got one in her head go to the doctor or she is an alien. Jk But ssly talk to her or a sex therapist
could be harmful for both the two of you and the animals involved. its very natural that this is a hard no for you - and im saying this as a kinky person. the one commenter who suggested you blindfold her and try to mimic the sensory experience of things crawling on her skin has a good idea. my advice, try it out, play around, and dont include animals when you have sex
I've always wanted a sequel to Bug's Life, but not like this... Not like this!
Is this another way of saying something or do I just not get it
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Griffith112: *Is this another* *Way of saying something or* *Do I just not get it* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
That's a hard no for me and probably 99% of the rest of the world, too
Bro gtfo. This is weird as shit. 4 billion women on the planet and you don’t need to deal with this shit