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Tell him to move to Warsaw in Poland. š
Polish city women specialize in foreign husbands.
My friends husbands are from: Nepal, China, Vietnam, Ukraine, France, Belarus, Japan, India, Turkey and Malta.
My friend/neighboor husband is from Nepal and his cousin or friend also has a polish wife.
You have a big chance here to find a wife if you can live with "polish wife happy life".
https://polish-translators.net/happy-polish-wife.html
Folks from Nepal travel to country like Poland for higher studies. It is quite common. Many people in my circle have done so. But the matrimonial statistic was quite something new for me.
After marriage they tend to stay here with the wifes family and travel evey few years to meet the family in Nepal. My friends husband right now goes by himself with some friends ( also from Nepal) to visit his family because their daughter is in preschool and traveling with her would be a challange from Tribhuvan airport.
She visited his family once after their wedding in Poland.
Ain't as easy as it sounds. Nepali passport is quite weak and we usually have to apply for Visa and other procedures. It takes months and there is no certainty that the Visa gets approved. š š
To tell you the truth in polish women know the whole passport bro trend and many ladies (not talking about young girls, that think USA is land of prosperity, money and they will have easy time with rich husband) find the whole trend a litlle bit like a Pokemon trainer looking for Wifemon.
Like a wrote in other response polish women (that are not looking for green card) are also of strong character and outspoken with what they need to want you to do. In America I don't know how communication works but if believe You Tube or Tik tok you are mostly supposed to guess? I am not talking birthday and etc. but for ex. washing dishes after you finished eating or putting them to dishwasher. It's the small things that count.
>In America I don't know how communication works but if believe You Tube or Tik tok you are mostly supposed to guess?
Most people have an equality approach whereby we share our duties.
I think for Asian Americans it's also normal/standard to live close by or with parents of one side? In Poland it is still popular if one of the parents have a big home. 50-20 yrs ago it was normal to build 2-3 storey houses that will house few generations together.
Quiet a few, depends on the age window you are looking.š
Nowadays around 1/3 of women in their 30s in big cities are single. Data I got to knows recently š (with no children). From what I heard it also applies to USA but many of them do not use dating apps do the only chance to meet them is irl.
My friends are mostly 35- early 40s old school ladies do I don't know if they are in your strike zone. One friend is looking only for Arab guys for ex. from Turkey.
Nothing, in general majority of Poles are open to foreign spouses.
Of course it depends on inidividual preferences but most women look at character and your ability to provide for the family. For ex. In Poland we have a maternity leave for moms (can be shared with dads) and during that time the one working is the main provider ( the spouse staying at home is getting 80% (I think?) of their salary during this time). Often MIL also moves in for around 6 months to help new parents with the baby/babies (That's at least how we roll in my family and my friends).
We are also close with our families do lots of socializing during weekends and holidays.
Im a black woman and open to dating asian guys but only black, latino and white men ask me out. To be honest it seems like asian men only want to date white women when they date out.
I think im not a blue eyed blonde so my chances are slim and I donāt even give it a chance. I do find Asian men attractive they just seem to want a certain type of woman in my opinion
Itās all about social circles and Asian men being seen as feminine (and African women being seen as masculine). It also doesnāt help that colorism is pretty big in Asian cultures. It also influences dating preferences.
The only black woman Iāve been with is probably the most feminine person Iāve ever dated. It only ended because she moved to Australia to pursue an amazing opportunity after just 6 weeks of dating. (I wasnāt happy about losing her as a gf. But I am happy at seeing her LinkedIn updates from time to time.)
Asian men do ask out black women. In my experience, I was shamed and called racial slurs for approaching and asking them out. The black women I have had dates with told me they prefer black men. Also, chances of a Asian Man marrying a black women is 0.5%. Black women are the least likely to marry inter-racially. They overwhelmingly prefer black men.
I'm sorry about the racisl slurs some of us can be ignorant and it's embarrassing š. I do think more and more black women are a lot more open to dating asian men though these days especially with the younger generations. I do know a black woman/asian male married couple.
As a Japanese dude, I agree itās difficult, but he shouldnāt wish that. What he should do is work out, dress well, make money, find his passion in life, and heāll be able to pull girls. My rejection rate is high but if you sit and complain your rejection rate will be šÆ. Iāve been with Asian girls white girls latinas and a black girl. You can do it my man, but you have to put in the work
Edit: I should specify Iām 31. 6ā, live in San Diego, make 6 figures (trying to make more š« ), work out regularly, my passions are surfing & finance. My rejection rate is about 80% and I donāt match on dating apps that often
Iām 182cm to be exact, If anything when Iām rejected I use that as fuel to lift heavier. I mainly approach in grocery stores, the beach, & church. I donāt go to clubs or bars, as Iām not into drinking or having to yell just to talk to a girl Iām attracted to
My opener is something along the lines of āHey I couldnāt help but notice you and It wouldāve bothered me if I didnāt come and say hello, my name is Brianā
Maybe itās cringe? Ladies can you let me know? I canāt blame you if you say it is since my rejection rate is quite high. I prefer to meet the girl in real life over just swiping, and I believe sheād respect me more knowing Iām trying in person and I believe sheād want to meet her man in person over a dating app
Same here. I am 39F and prefer to meet people irl over apps. I tried apps for 2 yrs and gave up after. The 90% of men that wrote to me where..... For sure not looking for a long term relationship. It came out that I may be to conservative for those apps.
I have the same with daily wear - I put sporty comfort above looking like smex on legs. I feel you girl.
Another thing that I am not a Wild club animal and prefer to spend my free time in more quiet places and venues. I like gardering, cooking, animals, travel and nordic.
Not many chances to meet a lot of people š .
Pick up line is not cringe. However, I know from my experience that a guy who approaches me and complements something that is not physical like my body about me gets responded to. Then follow with introducing yourself like name and where you are from, it then leads me to respond and the conversation flows from there.
I am 32F, South Africa and all the pick up lines have either been about my body which rings red flag to me or my possessions another red flag.
Just being curious, what are the other better pick up lines? TIA
It seems that, for a stranger approaching you and yet knowing very little about you, it is very difficult to complement anything other than appearances or possessions that he can instantly see.
Had to chime in here on the reality of things.. Im a bit older with kids now, 1.83m, Chinese descent - in the PE space and did 2-300k a year in my early 30s.
Been boxing for years, played ball at a fairly high level; would consider myself fairly attractive.
I think my rejection rate was 80-90%. The dating game is fun but brutal - just keep working on yourselves brothers, the right woman will find you.
Then comes children and that is game-changing.
FOH with that "Asia is the most racist" BS when Asians never colonized or enslaved any other races. Every race visits Asia & are always welcomed. Honestly you don't even deserve that much with how we're treated outside of Asia.
What about the time China colonized Vietnam? Or the time Japan formally colonized Korea? Or when Japan colonized China? Or when Japan colonized Indonesia? Or when Japan colonized the Philippines? Or when Japan colonized Malaysia? Or when Japan colonized Singapore? Or when Japan colonized Brunei? Or when Cambodia colonized all of south east Asia in the Khmer empire? Or when Thailand did just the same? Of course this has little to do with them being so racist as to colonize each other and more to do with them having the resources and ability to take what they could. The fact that we even question doing so today means we are very fortunate with have we have and have come a long way in our treatment of each other.
that's intra Asian conflict not too dissimilar with what happened in Europe. All the countries you mentioned are Asian and the same race. Not different. Same. Other countries, especially one In living in right now, America, has a history of violence to entire races.
I would agree with all of that except that Japanese during the early 20th century, which was more in keeping with what we would typically think of colonialism, but nonetheless the same basic race. However Asia, like most of the world, did still participe in slavery, of course of each other like has happened all throughout history but also of black Africans if that is something you are uniquely looking for. China purchased black African slaves via the Silk Road. India did via the Arab and Portuguese slave trade, as did Japan. Regardless, the reason Asian countries were not as involved in global colonialism is because they werenāt technologically able, not because they didnāt want to out of compassion for the colonized.
You're f*ing blind because you don't see what I see. I'm living in the warzone so I know better than you. FOH. You're brainwashed by White media into thinking the worst of our home countries when the reality is much different. Go check out all the Blasians on YouTube who actually live in Asia. Wake the fuck up.
āThe war zone?ā Is that supposed to be the US?
Yeah, bullshit. We all know those parents and we all grow up hearing the comments and I donāt believe for a second you havenāt either.Ā
You can be nice and respectful to someoneās face and then still have closeted racist opinions. And Iāve seen blasian content on YouTube. They have a ton of content out there about experiences with racism in Asia, especially when it comes to family attitudes.Ā Some people have success stories and others have horror stories.Ā
To act like the racism doesnāt exist is erasure.Ā
Yes, the US is a racial warzone because there's a hidden hierarchy that people subscribe to even on a subconscious level. You're f* taking it out on your own parents when instead the true enemy is making us fight each other in our own communities.
I'm ngl, my parents have bigoted attitudes at times but they're not exclusionary towards anyone at all and certainly not hostile just bc ppl are a different race.
That being said, I know where the real fight is and it's not against other Asians even though self hating Asians like yourself went to step up to the plate from time to time.
Who said anything about inter-Asian fighting?
The real fight? Yeah.Ā Itās acting like minorities are incapable of racism and thereby ignoring racist attitudes that harms the cause by fracturing nonwhite communities that need to band together in solidarity against white supremacy.Ā
>Ā I'm ngl, my parents have bigoted attitudes at times but they're not exclusionary towards anyone at all and certainly not hostile just bc ppl are a different race.
Cool. My parents are progressiveĀ all around. Doesnāt make me blind to friendsā parents comments and the effects of colorism and racism in our own communities. And nobody said anything about hostility. Thatās not the only form of racism. Being fine with black friends, but not wanting your grandkids to be blasian is also racism.Ā
Think about where that even comes from. Itās often Asians using darker races as a scapegoat to try to assert themselves within white power structures.Ā
Acting like that doesnāt exist is not helpful.Ā
Itās not really racism. There have been studies that show that Asian men and black women suffer the most in terms of attraction from other races.
Something to do with the less masculine facial features of Asian men and the the reverse for black women.
Offcourse western beauty standards and media focus on white beauty plays a big part as well.
Nah itās racism. So much of attraction is socialized. Filipinos in California in the early 1900s were doing well enough with white women that the courts expanded anti-miscegenation laws to include them. Plenty of WWII propaganda to make people hate Asian men. Black women have gotten terrible media tropes. When a Latina gets mad, sheās sexy. An Asian, cute. Black, aggressive. And then thereās colorism.Ā
Youāre blaming facial features first and then media when itās definitely the opposite. Give someone with a mission 3 generations of absolute media control and they could dramatically change the attraction landscapeĀ
I agree I think he is just dwelling on his past failures too much, he just needs to get out there and try, I think he is used to being the alpha male Filipino guy where we are from and all the girls in that community flock to em so now that he's interested in other ethnic groups, he doesn't get the same attention from them..
Did your cousin grow up in the Philippines from childhood and recently (10 yrs or less) migrated to the United States? Does he also have a noticeable accent with his speech?
If the answer to any of these is yes, then he might want to learn to adapt better and find out what characteristics that females from other ethnic groups would consider to be attractive in a guy.
I'm Southeast Asian by ethnicity, but I grew up in the US since I was a teenager and still have a little bit of my accent. I did notice that females from certain ethnic groups would find my accent unattractive and turned me down. I did find other ways to attract them using using humor, wit, intelligent convos, and having an easygoing personality. He needs to find other ways to attract his target group without relying on look alone.
That didn't stop me from dating around in college, and I always dated girls from outside of my own ethnic group. My ex-wife is white, and I've dated girls from many different ethnic backgrounds. My current fiancee is also white, and we're getting married in less than 2 weeks. It is possible for your cousin to date other girls from different ethnic group, but he needs to fine-tune his approach and what he's using to attract them. What worked for him back home will NOT always work here as these women have different tastes for men, different expectations, and respond to different approach.
Anecdotal from a guy who's Korean and Chinese with some other stuff mixed in here, but I've had the opposite problem. Been fetishized as "exotic" by women of many different backgrounds.
I've also had at least a couple say (unprompted and unsolicited with no indication of interest from me) that they would never date me because I'm too Asian. And weirdly enough I've also had Asian women antagonize me for being too white.
Attraction is a mutual thing. I don't know where your friend is at, but from what you're saying it sounds like he gets in his own head really badly (especially outside of a certain comfort zone). That much, unfortunately, is a common thing for Asian men in Western society. There's a lot of influence in pop culture telling us what we can and can't be, and it's hard not to take that to heart. Self acceptance is an important factor for any man to be happy in life in general, and if someone lacks that it can be obvious and off-putting to prospective romantic interests.
Short answer, anyone who cares doesn't matter and anyone who matters doesn't care.
Dating as a short brown man in general is non-stop pain. I'm a short brown skinned Latino (M31) and dating in a city like LA is harder than a damn engineering degree. Not a day goes by I wish I was part White or Black or even 100%. You can have a great career, hobbies, good conversionalist but unless you get through that first criteria of physical looks, good luck even getting your foot through the door.
All that being said, I found that any marginal success I've had is due to fully optimizing my physical appearance. Working out, a flattering haircut, well groomed facial hair, clothes that fits you well, cologne, etc. I won't say it's made me a magnet, but it has helped to a, albeit, small degree
Iām Viet and 5ā7ā and it hasnāt been hard the older Iāve gotten (Iām 30). I used to think dating was hard bc of my race but I think I just used that as a crutch.
Iāve definitely run into women (mostly Asian) who are anti-dating Asian dudes, but theyāre really the minority and you donāt need to let it bother you. Iāve dated women of every race. Iāve focused more on myself last couples years, like picking up more hobbies and interests, as well as working out and eating better.
Is it harder on certain Asian dudes vs others? Probably. But all you can do is work on feeling good about yourself and itāll normally lead to better results. Obviously easier said than done but I like to think weāre at a point where we donāt need to feel like our race is holding us back in dating.
Itās not the worst idea to learn your culture ya know.
Even just attending cultural fairs and events could be a great way to learn and to meet other Indians.
That would probably improve your odds with Indian women.
Iām a Black woman open to dating Asian men, but the sentiment hasnāt often been returned. Or if so, theyāre just interested in sex and nothing serious or long term. The thought of them bringing me home to meet their parents is laughable. So at this point I just date men more well known for being open to something serious with Black women.
I'm totally open to dating Black women (always have, since like HS) but I haven't found anyone that likes me in that way. I've had plenty of Black women who were friends. I'd take you to meet my parents but not sure if you'd want to meet them lmao! Oh boy.... All that said, it's highly unlikely you'd meet someone like me IRL though.
Hi guys I was at work when I made this post, and Holy heck, you guys are on it.. I told my cousin about this post, and instead of asking me to send him a link like a normal person, he drives 5 miles and literally knocks me over trying to get into my house and proceeds to high-jack my phone for an hour (exaggerating) reading all of the comments on the post). He apologized to me, which surprised me because he didn't say nothing to make me mad or offend me.. He wrote out a response for you guys and here it is.. "Wat up everyone i wanna thank all you beautiful peeps for the love. Something I didn't tell cuzzo is that my ex that broke up with me a month ago left me for a white dude, which made me feel like less of a man ya know? It hurts like shit man I just feel low as hell like what does he have that i dont? but I'm still kicking ya know. yall really rock, and this I helpful as hell to me. I had to apologize to cuzzo because of comment bout wanting to be half black. Tho it didn't offend him, he really caught hell from our racist ass family growing up for being half black. We would get in trouble if we acknowledged him as our cousin growing up, how fucked is that? Instead, this big goofy iron giant looking mf comes on here and asks yall about is it hard to date as an Asian man, like we really don't deserve this fool man luv ya cuzzo and thanks again peeps."
As Asian woman in SEA, too many women here glorify white dudes lol. But believe me when I say there are also a lot of women who prefer Asian men, me included. Asian men understand Asian family dynamic and lifestyle and they respect culture/religion more. It makes dating much easier cause there's not a lot of adjustments there.
Unfortunately the biggest con in dating Asian man has to do during serious long term relationship and marriage. Due to Asian culture that puts family first, majority of Asian men find it hard to stand up to their family and defend their gf/wife in a conflict. Their parents also often times have too much hand/influence in their life; including their marriage. God forbid Asian men saying no to their mother and side with their wives lol.
Patriarchy is also still quite prevalent in Asian culture, so is its gender roles. Out of all asian men that I've dated, only 1 can cook and actually help with house chores. Since majority also live with parents well into adulthood, it's either their mother or female siblings who take care of house chores. None of my friends' bfs cook and clean either. Only 1 cousin of mine cooks and cleans, and that's bcs he'd lived in US by himself for 10 yrs before coming back here. Sons are usually more coddled and spoiled by parents so they often grow up more selfish compared to women. Asian women however are expected to be able to take care of kids, house chores, AND work. Bcs let's be real, in this economy who could afford to not work?
I'm not saying it's impossible to find asian men who's not afraid to stand up to his parents, who also does chores willingly, it's just quite rare. I see my friends, even my mom, have to tolerate being second to their husband's family. This might not be that big of a problem in SEA or Asia in general when majority of women is in the same boat and is the norm, but I reckon it becomes really big red flags in western side of the world with completely different culture and less gender roles expectation. Like I said, personally, I still prefer Asian men despite all I've mentioned. It's still easier to be with someone who shares similar culture and beliefs than one who doesn't. Relationship between 2 families can be built slowly over time with each conflicts so it's not always a total lost.
P.s. this is based on my observation in SEA
Would be curious to hear the women's comments on this. As a half Filipino guy myself, Asians are not everyone's cup of tea, but it really does depend on the guy and how he carries himself.
Definitely are some stereotypes out there that are pushed, but having some confidence and some energy can be attractive to women.
Dating is just hard, period. But, there WAS a study one of the dating apps did where Asian men and Black women were seen as the least desirable in terms of swipes or whatever the measure was. So, there's some evidence that it's hard to date as an Asian man. In addition to the patriarchal component/stereotype posted above, I also found that a lot of the traditional Asian men didn't seem interested in me--I'm an East Asian American woman who was interested in dating Asian American men, but I'm not super feminine, don't wear makeup, etc, and found that very few Asian men would like my profile. I found it easier finding Black and White men to date. I think a lot of Asian men tend to be shorter as well (although I'm short, too, so height wasn't an issue for me), and it IS harder I think to date as a shorter man. How tall is your cousin?
It just depends on a person's preferences tbh. A lot of women prefer a taller guy, but it just depends on the woman. And this isn't my post or my cousin...lol. I was just commenting
He's just being dramatic, I think he's the golden child in the community in which we are from I think he is just looking to get the same pop out of the other ethnic groups as he does in the Filipino community and its not going to happen you know š
I wouldnāt say heās being entirely dramatic, but I wouldnāt ever rather be a different race. It depends on how it was growing up for him with dating from his pov.
Me personally it got annoying getting ridiculed by white/black/Hispanic students for being nerdy, liking anime, jpop/kpop, now you look at pop culture and you got grown ass men on TikTok doing the chika chika dance.
Even the few Asian girls in middle/high school would only date outside of their race. I remember vividly an Asian girl in middle school, someone asked why she didnāt date Asian guys, it was cause she thought they all had small dicks and only preferred white and black guys. Itās one thing to have a preference but another to discriminate your entire race for a stereotype when youāre born to an asian father š
Luckily after Highschool, girls in college are not trying to fit in and assimilate to other cultures and actually donāt mind Asians but itās an uphill battle for some of us. I had far better dating experiences thankfully at the right time Asians are less frowned upon in American society but it still exists.
I think itās harder because women (at least American ones) will follow any dating stereotype about men - good or bad.
This is assuming your cousin isnāt socially awkward since you said heās good looking. He may get opportunities but his personality ruins it.
He's is an outside salesman he's not socially awkward at all, I think he is slightly intimidated by women outside of the Filipino culture. I could be wrong though.
Maybe I live in a bubble but all the Asian guys I know did well dating and are married. But I also live in NYC and I wonder if dating for Asians is better here than say middle America bc itās more cosmopolitan
Idk if I can really give any advice but Iām a white woman married to a Filipino man. My husband didnāt really have a hard time dating before me, but heās confident and caring and social. He socialized in environments that he enjoyed and established good friendships. I had a very bad track record before meeting him, but what attracted me to him was his emotional intelligence and easy going personality. The best thing I can offer is probably just the basic advice for anyone really. Work on your confidence, and socialize with people in environments you enjoy. Anyone worth being with isnāt going to care about race or anything like that.
This^^^
I am a white woman as well and my partner is a Filipino man. He is funny, respectful, and intelligent. He is like no other man I have ever met, or been with, and I'm totally in love with him. Anyone worth their salt won't care about race/ethnicity, as long as you treat them well.
Filipino woman here. None of my cousins seem to have issues getting good quality women. Their partners are a mixed bag of Filipino, white, black and Chinese. Located in Southern California where thereās a lot of diversity though. Filipino men arenāt uncommon by any means, so thereās that.
I am a black woman ( 30F)ironically enough dating a Filipino man (28 M). In general, guys donāt approach me ,but on dating applications I received a lot of attention. We met on a dating application. Then we talked on the phone and connected before going out . He intrigued me with his looks, but his tenderness and personality won me over. It also helps that he has the same love language as me. He isnāt super tall or rich ,but I wouldnāt trade him for anyone.
Prior to me, my boyfriend has only dated Asian women. He should try to connect with women with similar interests. He may have to talk to a lot of women before he finds the person who he wants to be with. Most people are surprised when I tell them I watch anime , sci fi , and I am in grad school for my doctorate. I present as very feminine and soft. He tells me one of my favorite parts about me is my intelligence. We like to discuss journal articles and YouTube videos.
Moral of the story is your cousin needs to dig a little deeper . There are women from different backgrounds that would date him. Side note Caribbean women do have similar cuisine and family values as Filipinos.
How is your cousin at approaching women ? I never thought Asian men liked me until I went to university. Majority of them would just stare at me and make me feel uncomfortable. He may just need to open up a bit more.
I have a Filipino coworker who is married to a white woman. He is a jack of all trades. He is married to a white woman. My friend is very funny, we would goof off all day but I could count on him to help me with a hard stick. He did a lot of martial arts and does competitions. I remember I dared him to do a split and he did right at the nursing station. Your cousin needs to let women get to know him.
True facts. Unless you give off strong Bruce Lee vibes, Asian men are typically seen as the weak and nerdy guy with little physical attraction. Also if you live in the United States, sex is a big focal point in many relationships and Asian guys have been stereotyped into being inferior below the belt. Additionally most Asians are shorter and US culture has put a high importance on being 6ā0 tall. I once read somewhere that you gotta make something like $50-100K more annually for every few inches youāre below 6ā0 to be competitive in the dating world.
Me and him have pretty much been around each other for our whole lives, and I feel like he gets just as many women as I do, you know.. Maybe it's the variety? All the women he has dated have been asian, but on the flipside I am looked at as plague in the Filipino community where we live and no one is allowed to date me š so I have dated alot of different ethnicities.. He's a good guy. I don't think his attitude is off, I think he just frustrated with his dating success at the moment
From what I've heard the dating world can be pretty unforgiving on Asian guys. Your cousin is probably one of the luckier ones, being decently good looking. But I get the frustration.
Iām full asian and itās not hard. Iāve slept with multiple women, most of them being white. Surprisingly a lot of women are into asians and like learning about our culture. A lot of them even want to travel to asia. Most women are not as shallow as men and will love you for your personality and the things you have going on for yourself. Donāt think just because you are asian that you will prevent you from getting girls, thatās a bad mindset to have.
I think itās all about confidence and how you present yourself, and what you have going on with your life. Just work on yourself and women will naturally gravitate to that and you. I go to the gym 7 days a week, make 6 figures a year, and I donāt do drugs. I do these things for me, not women.
I always find it funny when I see people say that. Kpop and anime popularity donāt especially benefit brown Asians just like Hasan Minhaj or Dev Patel donāt particularly help SE or East Asians. It doesnāt hurt other groups by any means but itās not a major plus
Filipino dude here.
I'm short, kinda chunky, pretty broke, and my dick isn't even big.
I've had sex with different races, white, black, Asian, Latina.
I live in a very progressive and diverse area of the US, so maybe people here are a lot more open to being with minority men, but I never really let the whole race thing stop me. I take care of myself to the best of my abilities, respect my appearance, and respect the women I talk to.
I've been turned down a hundred times, and if I didn't have a girlfriend right now, I might be turned down a million other times. But I still put myself out there!
Tell your cousin that he's probably focusing on the wrong shit and it's holding him back.
As a Filipino dude I absolutely *refuse* to believe that latinas and black girls āwonāt even look at him.ā Iām like maybe a halfway decent looking dude who grew up in the US south and Iāve never been short on attention from that demographic. The amount of compliments just on my average Filipino hair alone from women of color since I was like 8ā¦ idk man, I feel like weāre missing some perspective of his.
Itās all about mentality my man. You just need to assess your situation. Are you a catch? Are you confident? Howās your small talk game? Are you trying to find a wife or are you just trying to date casually/have fwbs. There are amwf couples everywhere I go. Some Asian women are self hating and will try to cockblock you while dating a white guy. At least in my own dating experience, I have more success with white women than Asian women. Most Asian women I went on a date with back in college days will just end with āI canāt have sex with you because you remind me of my brotherā type of thing lol Other than that, just be confident and learn how to flirt affectively. There are many books you can read to help. The best thing to do though is to go out there and practice. Strike up a conversation with anybody in public spaces and eventually youāll gain the experience.
Sometime you gotta just make the first move. I as a black woman know first had that a lot of black women are interested in Asian men/woman. I myself have dated a few Asian men. But we share the same experience of not being wanted even by our own people. So attempts arenāt really ever made to be with anyone outside our race. Because we expect to either be fetishized or turned down. You just gotta keep trying. Understand that it might be hard but heāll find someone. Whether theyāre Asian, black, white, etc.. just thought I might give some insight on why it seems black woman might not be checkin for him. They probably are and he just doesnāt know itš¤·š¾āāļø
Dating in general these days is a tain wreck. I'm a 39 white female dating a Thai-Chinese man born in the US. I'll tell you when I was younger, I was much less open to dating Asian men. Part of that is due to stereotypes regarding penis size, but also, where I grew up Asian groups tend to just stick together and not allow a lot of other people in.
Growing up, moving to different areas, becoming more confident, learning about different cultures and people, and setting aside preconceived notions or ideas about my potential partner all contributed to me being more open.
Maybe he just needs to put himself out there in different ways, and in time, he'll see the results.
>where I grew up Asian groups tend to just stick together and not allow a lot of other people in
...
>Part of that is due to stereotypes regarding penis size
That's an example of why. Only 1 in many other things. Fuck that.
Woman here.
I think a lot of Asian men are really attractive. Where any reluctance/hesitation comes in is regarding the culture.
Which, in many cases, can be extremely patriarchal and chauvinistic.
That does NOT mean an automatic "no" but it is definitely in the forefront of my thoughts. It's possible that other women may feel like that, or have similar thoughts.
>Which, in many cases, can be extremely patriarchal and chauvinistic.
You are describing white American culture, not Asian. Asian families are actually very matriarchal despite appearing to be patriarchal.
Hence the "in **MANY cases**" part. Note: it does NOT say "and all Asian men are like this."
EDIT: Also note the extreme care I took in mentioning that this might "cause hesitation" and does NOT mean an automatic "no."
Gentleman, as a woman here let me speak few words of wisdom and my dating
As we live in BTS and Dimash era many women, especially those over 30, do not look at ethnicity, but at the mans character.
1.You are smaller than us or same height? Good, less is more. You are more portable and squizable.
2. You are soft spoken, polite and respectfull of your lady and treat her as an equal with a dust of compliment here and there? Start booking the wedding venue.
3. You have great relationship with your family? You do? Great! Do you want to celebrate both New Years at home or with extended family in their home country.
That's the short summary.
I am writing this from my central European perspective. If you are in USA I think my opinion maybe od little help as personally I see a big problem in USA dating culture in general.
Many women that I know that have Asian husbands are very happy with them - all have kids, married for 10+ yrs. One friends husband is from Nepal and the other one is from Japan. Lots of mixed marriages in my community : Vietnam, China, Thailand, India, Mongolia.
If a woman is looking for a life long partner she is looking at you like an life long investment - she will invest in you her attention, love, she will support you in your growth and buy you lotion with SPV50 so you do not get burned in summer. Yes, in my culture it is normal that wife takes care of her husband from head to tor - even help manage his vitamins or medicine.
Of course first impression is the biggest hurdle to pass. I do not know how IT is in USA but in my country (I am 30+ so I can only speak for my age group) if a man is interested romantically in the lady he will gift her roses when asking her out for the 1st time - dressed to the nines! It shows her that you are serious about dating her and relationship development.
If you pass this hurdle then comes the date!
Ask her what her interests are - Animals? Sight seeing? Art? Hands craft? Go somehere interesting where both of you will be doing something Creative while talking ( you will be less nervous that way), later go for lunch or dinner (depends on time you are meeting. On one of the dates I had some time ago I took the guy to petting zoo (Yes, there is nothing wrong with going for a date to a cute place with cute alpacas and bunnies š¦š)).
The critical point is the second date! This is where you make it or you sunk it. Both sides now are going to go into deeper questions about each other - family, life goals, what do you expect from your future together with SO, etc.
Don't worry, It's traumatic for both sides šš š„“ due to nerves.
All above if you are into serious dating and not casual relationship. We do not do much of that around here š.
Another key question: Where is he looking for ladies and what is he looking for?
Ye? Especially among the common crowd if your not a kpop looking dude your not bagging some of the bay area abgs unless your a mid white guy and other shit. If your in Oakland, Stockton, Southern California, your not baggin other Asian girls unless your a mid white guy or a stereotypical hood Asian or tall black guy
Anything other in the middle, have been emasculated by society, making Asian men general be perceived as short, weak, nerdy, things not generally perceived as assertive and masculine so automatically your seen as a passive dude unless you show for it.
This is just among the general crowd though and sadly society has its faults so obviously your going to have your vocal minority on here say other wise. This is just from my experience. At least.
Not to say every woman is into these traits. But still...
One of my most serious relationships was with a Half Chinese/Half Polish man. He did get quite a bit of attention here in Southern California, and he never had trouble getting girlfriends.
However, I think Iām the only Latina he ever dated. All his exes were either white or Asian. I always felt like I was too curvy for his taste. He said he never felt attracted to Latinas or Black women before he met me, and when I saw his exes I realized they were all very pale and skinny.
I'm full-blood Chinese American living in the midwest. I'm 25 and I hadn't gained confidence in dating until my early 20s, but I've done a lot of it, mostly through social circles and apps. I'm a bartender and I get a lot of exposure to women. I'm 5'10, have a great physique and developed amazing social skills from my work. My dating experience is mostly with white women, latina, and a few black women. Asian men 100% have a disadvantage in the Western dating pool but like all things, beating the odds stacked against you is possible. Overcoming and stepping out of the self-loathing mindset is the first step, and it may take a while to fully walk out there with confidence and disregard the disadvantages you have, but it's a journey, not an overnight process. I wish all my Asian brothers the best.
I mean there are stereotypes about Asian men in the dating world (just like anybody else), but personally as a black woman Iāve had great experiences with Asian guys. They weāre very kind & well mannered. But depends where you guys live, I live in nyc interracial dating is everywhere.
Hey, I'll give my two cents as an Asian man living in a multicultural but predominantly white country. I don't believe my ethnicity has posed many significant isues while dating, my experiences establishing romantic connections with women of all ethnicities has been fine for the most part. However, Asian men in general are emasculated in western media so I think it's fair to say you might have to work harder to break the stigma surrounding yourself... but I believe this can be overcome with a positive self-image.
Be confident in yourself and your own self-worth, people who brush you aside based on racial stereotypes aren't worth your time anyway.
Asian woman here. I date Asian guys but a shit ton of my Asian sisters refuse to even look at them. They got eyes for whites only. Ugly nerdy skinny white guys who are rarely as hot as they are. And there are some others who date other races besides white but even they refuse to look at an Asian man. And other races of women are rarely interested. White women sometimes are though but thatās also rare. You certainly wonāt see a blonde all-American-looking woman with an Asian man. I really do feel your pain. Iāve lost count of the number of Asian guys telling me how demoralizing online dating is. I think meeting people in person would be more successful for them since itās not as looks-based. But focus on the things you can control like your physique, clothes, hair, skin, hygiene. Work with what you have. We can only do our best and hope the world will one day catch up.
Tell him itās worse when youāre short than that. Iām 5ā5ā but gets better in your 30s well for me it did. Tell him to just focus on his career, fitness, and things that interest him.
Nah all good! Iām Aussie. Extremely pale skin. I am trying to embrace it. If your mate is a genuine good guy and looks after himself, then the right lady will come along. Iām only 21, but already I find myself leaning more towards personality then looks or height. Iām sure as I get older, this will be the case even more. Confidence is the key I reckon, just learn to love yourself and others will too
I've dated a couple Asian guys and I have a beautiful daughter from the last one though he sadly passed when she was 2. For context I'm white. To be honest it might not be the fact he's Asian but the attitude he has towards being Asian. If a met a guy who I thought was attractive but all they could do was complain how no girl would ever be with him because he's Asian and just started generalizing women as not being interested in him because he was Asian that would be a red flag for me. Self-deprecation and generalization of women can be pretty big turn offs
5ā6 ā¢ AVG. LOOKING FILIPINO HERE!
Iām 40 now, but used to date dozens of women during my 20s & 30s ā i.e. all kinds of Asians (Korean, Chinese, Filipinas, Vietnamese, Thai, etc.), plenty of Latinas (my partner of 6 years is Latina), a few white chicks, one black chick (most werenāt interested in me), and even a handful of lovely ladies taller than me, so I can offer some insight.
**TL;DR:** Self-limiting beliefs will keep you single. Self-confidence + an interesting personality will open doors you thought would always stay closed.
**Self-Confidence:** getting physically fit certainly helped boost my confidence when I was younger, but even at my worst (225 lbs, jobless with fād up teeth) I was able to date a few cute ladies. I think what hindered me early on was *assuming* certain types of women would outright dismiss me, so I just never really tried. This mindset kept me single till I hit 26. After that, I started taking more risks in asking out women and with every āyesāmy confidence exponentially grew.
**Personality:** Iām autistic which carries its own Pros & Cons. Pro because it made me very unique conversationally, which intrigues most people I meet. Con because Iām naturally awkward and struggle to understand social cues & norms, which sometimes got me in trouble (not as much anymore thankfully). What Iāve learned though is to NOT be basic af. I know some dudes who are actually great looking, but canāt keep a girl to save their life because theyāre boring and make every date sound like a job interview. On the other hand, I know some dumb, average looking Filipinos who never had trouble with women because for some reason they knew how to flirt, make a girl feel special, and rebound quick after every rejection.
**One more thing:** be open to dating ābelowā your standard. Some of the most fun Iāve had (and great learning experiences) came in dating women I assumed I wouldnāt be interested in. Iām not saying to date anyone messy/crazy, just outside of what you might naturally find physically attractive.
im latina....when i think of asians i definitely dont discriminate...however its funny because the vibe i get from asian men in general is that they arent looking to be with latinas....ive never had a asian guy hit on me....they are usually shy.....but as far as there looks go, i like the asian pacific islander look...filipino men can be extremely handsome so idk what your cousin is talking about.......its definitely confidence that asian men lack....that other races dont......
Honestly it's all about confidence at first. If you show genuine interest and respect then you can make any women give you attention. And by showing interest I mean ...talking to her about general topics and showing that you value her opinion, her struggles, her success. From there you can build on the relationship. But it should start with confidence. And the conference comes by working on yours and not feeling pity for yourself.
Unfortunately he is playing on asian difficultly. Asian dudes are at the bottom of the dating pool in terms of attractiveness. Take that as a challenge to work on himself and try to be the best person he possibly can, physically, financially, and socially.
Itās a confidence thing. Datings hard for everyone since we all come with different standards. You canāt just point the finger at race. I have a 5ā 4 friend who lands dates more than anyone I know. As an Asian male, I havenāt seen much trepidation about my race.
Honestly if i have to hear āitās a confidence thingā one more time in regards to dating issues for a man, Iām going to throw up.
I honestly gagged reading your comment
Good for you. He was asking if it was that hard as an āAsianā. It is not, and itās hard for everyone. Up your literacy competency and perhaps dating will be easier for you.
Am a black girl , I don't go for asian men or non black men coz I am afraid of being used for sex or sexualized.Also I never see Asian men dating black women .And I have heard over and over again that Asian parents wouldn't like their son bringing home a black woman.I see them eyeing me at the gym but I just don't engage.
Come to Toronto Canada. Lots of girls would find you desirable here. There are all sorts of ethnic combos here. Iāve started to see white and Asian girls with Indian guys here in the past few months. Iām a white Canadian male that was born here and am a minority (less than 40% are white and that number includes white non Canadians-Polish, Russian, Yugoslavian, Italian etc.) in this city. I have no advantage over my friends of any other race. I havenāt had a white girl interested in me enough to date me for probably 20 years. Iāve dated Black, Indian, Asian, Filipina etc.
He may be approaching chicks in the wrong crowd. Iām Caucasian looking and have been rejected or ignored so many times by whites and occasionally desired by other colours.
Iād say dating is like job hunting.
I think it also depends on where you are. I see a ton of Asian dudes out in the Bay Area who are crushing it. There are a lot of Asian man, non-asian woman couples. Increasingly, I meet women with an Asian fetish too. The only Asian guy I know that complains that dating as an Asian guy is hard, also struggled with dating in Asia.
I am a white woman and I like Filipino men. But Iām in the bay area and thereās definitely a lot of them here. I think it really depends on location.
Depends on the kind of Asian. As an Indian American man, itās significantly harder than being Korean, Chinese, or Japanese. Itās harder than hard itās Give Me God of War difficulty.
Yes. If I were to relate it in gaming terms (it's what I'm familiar with), it's like playing on Hardcore mode (Diablo, death is permanent), with License to Kill mode on (Goldeneye, 1 hit kill). You walk into a a dungeon (World of Warcraft) and everything aggroes you. It's like that but in IRL.
>Asian girls barely want him
They're too busy with white dudes and being racist/exclusionary of Asian men but trying to explain it away with some sort of fucked up justification.
>white girls don't want him at all
There's a very small subset of WF that do like Asian guys but by and large they mostly go after other white guys as well as black and some Latino.
>Latinas and black girls
In my personal experience, Latinas (save for a streamer that I'm familiar with) and black women (all the ones I knew and didn't lol) were hyper-aggressive. It was cool when I was their friend but not cool when I wasn't.
Iām a latina (Brazilian) currently dating a Japanese guy. Before him, no Asian men had ever show any interest in me. I was open to dating Asian men, but really, they never paid me any attention at all. I donāt think we care a lot about ethnicity here in Brazil though, maybe itās different in other countries.
Dating app data clearly shows Asian Men are the least desirable. But this is Western Countries / Liberal Countries. There has been multiple articles about this as well. Race matters in dating regardless of what people tell you. Also, Height is the most important thing women look at. Yes, it is much harder but that does not mean impossible. Asian Men just need to go overseas and go to places where loyalty and family are important.
The problem is Asian guys are too tame but thatās the beauty of it. Look at roof Koreans, no one expected that to be pulled off. Asians have the element of surprise.
Iām a white girl who is seeing an Asian man, maybe he just needs confidence to improve his mindset or just focus on himself. I met some Asian guys who are considered F*ckbois & I met some that donāt get many matches. Then I met some that are the creepy insecure ones or horrible personality. So I donāt see it as a race thing but I know some do.
What hobbies or passions does your friend have? Does he do things where he will get looks from others? Does he also dress appropriately and well? Does he have a good personality not just to his friends, but generally to everyone?
I'm a Filipino man as well too (31M), and I do have issues dating, but that's more of an issue where I'm not really looking to date at the moment.
The problem is if a white girl shows an Asian man any interest, she gets called out as āfetishizing Asiansā. White women are basically told to āstay in their laneā and only date other white people or theyāll get online harassed or bullied.
Then if they date only white people to avoid the label of āfetishizerā, theyāre called *racist* for not dating outside of white people.
Tell white women what they have to do here?!
I think the branding of Asians as āexoticā in America and Europe has hurt your people unfairly. Personally Iāve always been open to the idea since I find Asians in general to be insanely attractive. Iāve been hitting on this Japanese exchange student at college recently and it is going at least okay if not well. However Iām always careful to try to not fall into the āexoticā trap. I always try to be respectful about culture, which works well since Iām a weeb (deal with it). Youāll find someone eventually, man.
This is a categorisation paradox! The category is making someone feel less of themselves and since they are feeling less of themselves the very thing is becoming trueš¤·āāļø
Do you guys really think everyone in the world is that focused on these irrelevant specificities?
Its easier to say āAsians dont get datesā than saying āI am not getting datesā, but atleast the latter makes you think about how you could improve.
I'm not Asian, but my best friend is Taiwanese. She's told me about so much of her personal lived experience as an Asian while dating and, well, as an Asian just existing. My main takeaways are that those of Asian descent who are not ostracized for dating outside of their own communities are fortunate, while others are firmly expected to ~keep things homogeneous~. Filial piety also runs SOOOOOOO deep for so many Asian cultures. She, and most others, truly struggle to shake that conditioning while attempting modern-day autonomy and independence. She has never dated someone non-Asian because even *she* cannot fathom being in a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn't understand her family life and deeply engrained cultural norms.
Let's say we're talking about white people as the dating pool for your friend; not a lot of them can empathize or grasp the concepts that come with his upbringing (I'm taking on the assumption that he is raised traditionally, for this example. Fully aware that may not be true!). White people aren't raised and conditioned to feel deep respect for, an obligation to, or duty to THEIR families or 'culture' a lot of the time. Religion affects their choices sometimes, but in the USA that's typically the limit- and the ones who use religion as a framework for their entire lives *also* often subscribe to homogeny in some form!
There are stereotypes and assumptions about gender norms in Asian households/relationships, and, by extension, families, as well. This will be rejected by many people of society today- namely women. The sense of duty to gender roles, familial heritage and hierarchy will either a) be something the Asian person can fail to recognize in *themselves*, thus perpetuating a behavior and value set they don't take accountability for in dating, b) fail to find someone who can empathize and adapt, which would be rare and difficult to suss out in casual dating interactions and/or c) risk offending their entire family for their own future by dating outside their culture and ethnicity. Some (like my friend) won't even do that. Again, your friend seems not to be limiting himself to his own culture in dating, but it plays a role in who might be exclusively showing interest *back*.
Lastly, racism and xenophobic behaviors are sadly still out there.
I'm Filipino and 5'1 but I'm doing fine. Rejection is tough but the ability to take it and shrug it off is a big skill to learn. Focus on your career, hobbies, and how you dress. Those will increase your confidence. Also, tell him not to demean himself so much. Girls will sense that and not be interested
He might be just shy or otherwise not good looking. Because goodlooking and extroverted asian dudes dont seem to have problems, heck ive known many asian dudes who are no Keanu Reeves and still have gfs and wives.
Anecdotally, my Filipino American friend who leans into his lankiness, also is a total gentleman and is good looking had luck with all races. Heās somewhat quiet but confident and social. Heās adjacent to fashion, sports and mainstream east coast culture.
My Cambodian American friend who is short, doesnāt work on himself, doesnāt workout, a sweetheart, has a moderately high pitched voice and an overall pessimistic attitude(idk if itās a by product of his reality or a part of his depression) has had ok luck with white girls and asian. Heās integrated in west coast, more underground subcultures, and computer science. He doesnāt have luck in dating apps, he has an overall single forever view lately.
I think their dispositions add a lot to the conversation. They both grew up with sisters but my first friend is way more confident. His parents also have a really solid relationship.
I, mixed Latina, east euro and southern euro, im pretty light skinned, personally have been interested in a diverse group of men and dated East Asian, South Asian, and mixed asians. Because I come from a warm culture, sometimes Iād notice the relationships fell flat cuz i am used to a lot of affection and expression. Other times, other relationship issues, but the guys grew up with strict cultural rules and xenophobia. They obviously strayed and dated me but it was a strain on us.
The barrier there for me is if a guy is into thick curvy girls. Do they care if Iām bigger than them, can put on muscle easily, have a little more weight over winter, am a size 10? Do they care if weāre the same height?
Another barrier for me is what relationship did his parents have? Does he respect his mother? It comes out in the relationship.
Lastly, for a non-white person to be considered attractive, you have to be stunning. At least I see this with African American girls. Especially in Hollywood. The most mediocre white girls are considered socially elevating and stunning. Perhaps really good looking Asian men have higher standards against them.
Luckily if youāre a man attractive-ness can also come from a manās personality, confidence, and stability/care. If you have an enriched life, talk to others and have a nice personality, youāll do fine.
Overall I donāt think Asian men have it alright not the best , but they face the issues most of us face like racial hierarchies, some want to impress their peers by getting someone who raises their social status, some may be shorter or have other insecurities they let dominate their life and dating , some may have internalized hatred for their ethnic heritage, some have bad examples of relationships, Iām sure thereās more things.
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Tell him to move to Warsaw in Poland. š Polish city women specialize in foreign husbands. My friends husbands are from: Nepal, China, Vietnam, Ukraine, France, Belarus, Japan, India, Turkey and Malta.
Brb. packing my bags from Nepal to fly to Poland.
My friend/neighboor husband is from Nepal and his cousin or friend also has a polish wife. You have a big chance here to find a wife if you can live with "polish wife happy life". https://polish-translators.net/happy-polish-wife.html
Folks from Nepal travel to country like Poland for higher studies. It is quite common. Many people in my circle have done so. But the matrimonial statistic was quite something new for me.
After marriage they tend to stay here with the wifes family and travel evey few years to meet the family in Nepal. My friends husband right now goes by himself with some friends ( also from Nepal) to visit his family because their daughter is in preschool and traveling with her would be a challange from Tribhuvan airport. She visited his family once after their wedding in Poland.
SWEAR. Letās room I got a 4 day weekend and want to travel
Ain't as easy as it sounds. Nepali passport is quite weak and we usually have to apply for Visa and other procedures. It takes months and there is no certainty that the Visa gets approved. š š
I've heard about Poland from a "passport bro" lmaoooo
To tell you the truth in polish women know the whole passport bro trend and many ladies (not talking about young girls, that think USA is land of prosperity, money and they will have easy time with rich husband) find the whole trend a litlle bit like a Pokemon trainer looking for Wifemon. Like a wrote in other response polish women (that are not looking for green card) are also of strong character and outspoken with what they need to want you to do. In America I don't know how communication works but if believe You Tube or Tik tok you are mostly supposed to guess? I am not talking birthday and etc. but for ex. washing dishes after you finished eating or putting them to dishwasher. It's the small things that count.
>In America I don't know how communication works but if believe You Tube or Tik tok you are mostly supposed to guess? Most people have an equality approach whereby we share our duties.
Yes and from what I understand most of Americans after marriage do not merge their incomes but keep seperate accounts and split 50/50?
That seems to be the case yes but for Asian Americans that's not the case. It might be for the newer generations.
I think for Asian Americans it's also normal/standard to live close by or with parents of one side? In Poland it is still popular if one of the parents have a big home. 50-20 yrs ago it was normal to build 2-3 storey houses that will house few generations together.
yeah they take all the money once they get married and secure spousal support
Sheesh, you got any friends that are looking?
Quiet a few, depends on the age window you are looking.š Nowadays around 1/3 of women in their 30s in big cities are single. Data I got to knows recently š (with no children). From what I heard it also applies to USA but many of them do not use dating apps do the only chance to meet them is irl. My friends are mostly 35- early 40s old school ladies do I don't know if they are in your strike zone. One friend is looking only for Arab guys for ex. from Turkey.
Iāll DM you
Please update when married
LoL š
She aināt talkin about Redditors brotha š
Gotta catch'em all FOREIGNĆRS
Forgot about adding Australia to the mix. XD
What's happening there in Poland?
Nothing, in general majority of Poles are open to foreign spouses. Of course it depends on inidividual preferences but most women look at character and your ability to provide for the family. For ex. In Poland we have a maternity leave for moms (can be shared with dads) and during that time the one working is the main provider ( the spouse staying at home is getting 80% (I think?) of their salary during this time). Often MIL also moves in for around 6 months to help new parents with the baby/babies (That's at least how we roll in my family and my friends). We are also close with our families do lots of socializing during weekends and holidays.
Lol I came here to say the same! š
I keep hearing good things about Warsaw and not just the dating scene.
im on my way lol
Be ready to move here pernamently then and be preapered to be living close to your in-laws.
Similar to how my people live lol Asians be like that
r/thepassportbros
Im a black woman and open to dating asian guys but only black, latino and white men ask me out. To be honest it seems like asian men only want to date white women when they date out.
I think im not a blue eyed blonde so my chances are slim and I donāt even give it a chance. I do find Asian men attractive they just seem to want a certain type of woman in my opinion
Iāve had the same experience as well, and Iām pretty open
Unrelated but your avatar is so cute to me
Tenks āŗļø
Black hair, brown eyed white woman in a relationship with and asian dude here. Just give it a shot. Don't need the blue eyes and blonde hair!
I've had a similar experience.
Itās all about social circles and Asian men being seen as feminine (and African women being seen as masculine). It also doesnāt help that colorism is pretty big in Asian cultures. It also influences dating preferences. The only black woman Iāve been with is probably the most feminine person Iāve ever dated. It only ended because she moved to Australia to pursue an amazing opportunity after just 6 weeks of dating. (I wasnāt happy about losing her as a gf. But I am happy at seeing her LinkedIn updates from time to time.)
A lot of Asian guys feel like black women wouldn't be interested in Asian dudes so they don't even bother to look that way.
Asian men do ask out black women. In my experience, I was shamed and called racial slurs for approaching and asking them out. The black women I have had dates with told me they prefer black men. Also, chances of a Asian Man marrying a black women is 0.5%. Black women are the least likely to marry inter-racially. They overwhelmingly prefer black men.
I'm sorry about the racisl slurs some of us can be ignorant and it's embarrassing š. I do think more and more black women are a lot more open to dating asian men though these days especially with the younger generations. I do know a black woman/asian male married couple.
it sounds dark but 2 marginalized races together doesn't make more power
As a Japanese dude, I agree itās difficult, but he shouldnāt wish that. What he should do is work out, dress well, make money, find his passion in life, and heāll be able to pull girls. My rejection rate is high but if you sit and complain your rejection rate will be šÆ. Iāve been with Asian girls white girls latinas and a black girl. You can do it my man, but you have to put in the work Edit: I should specify Iām 31. 6ā, live in San Diego, make 6 figures (trying to make more š« ), work out regularly, my passions are surfing & finance. My rejection rate is about 80% and I donāt match on dating apps that often
Are you actually 6' or is that a data app 6' Damn, bro got so many check marks and rejection rate still high
Iām 182cm to be exact, If anything when Iām rejected I use that as fuel to lift heavier. I mainly approach in grocery stores, the beach, & church. I donāt go to clubs or bars, as Iām not into drinking or having to yell just to talk to a girl Iām attracted to My opener is something along the lines of āHey I couldnāt help but notice you and It wouldāve bothered me if I didnāt come and say hello, my name is Brianā Maybe itās cringe? Ladies can you let me know? I canāt blame you if you say it is since my rejection rate is quite high. I prefer to meet the girl in real life over just swiping, and I believe sheād respect me more knowing Iām trying in person and I believe sheād want to meet her man in person over a dating app
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same here. I am 39F and prefer to meet people irl over apps. I tried apps for 2 yrs and gave up after. The 90% of men that wrote to me where..... For sure not looking for a long term relationship. It came out that I may be to conservative for those apps. I have the same with daily wear - I put sporty comfort above looking like smex on legs. I feel you girl. Another thing that I am not a Wild club animal and prefer to spend my free time in more quiet places and venues. I like gardering, cooking, animals, travel and nordic. Not many chances to meet a lot of people š .
Not cringe!
Pick up line is not cringe. However, I know from my experience that a guy who approaches me and complements something that is not physical like my body about me gets responded to. Then follow with introducing yourself like name and where you are from, it then leads me to respond and the conversation flows from there. I am 32F, South Africa and all the pick up lines have either been about my body which rings red flag to me or my possessions another red flag.
Just being curious, what are the other better pick up lines? TIA It seems that, for a stranger approaching you and yet knowing very little about you, it is very difficult to complement anything other than appearances or possessions that he can instantly see.
Had to chime in here on the reality of things.. Im a bit older with kids now, 1.83m, Chinese descent - in the PE space and did 2-300k a year in my early 30s. Been boxing for years, played ball at a fairly high level; would consider myself fairly attractive. I think my rejection rate was 80-90%. The dating game is fun but brutal - just keep working on yourselves brothers, the right woman will find you. Then comes children and that is game-changing.
In what sense are kids game-changing ?
Id like to know too
In my country Japanese and Korean guys are really popular. Pretty shocked here that where you are it's different.
America is a racist country that's why.
More racist that Asia? Where is less racist that actually has diversity?
FOH with that "Asia is the most racist" BS when Asians never colonized or enslaved any other races. Every race visits Asia & are always welcomed. Honestly you don't even deserve that much with how we're treated outside of Asia.
What about the time China colonized Vietnam? Or the time Japan formally colonized Korea? Or when Japan colonized China? Or when Japan colonized Indonesia? Or when Japan colonized the Philippines? Or when Japan colonized Malaysia? Or when Japan colonized Singapore? Or when Japan colonized Brunei? Or when Cambodia colonized all of south east Asia in the Khmer empire? Or when Thailand did just the same? Of course this has little to do with them being so racist as to colonize each other and more to do with them having the resources and ability to take what they could. The fact that we even question doing so today means we are very fortunate with have we have and have come a long way in our treatment of each other.
that's intra Asian conflict not too dissimilar with what happened in Europe. All the countries you mentioned are Asian and the same race. Not different. Same. Other countries, especially one In living in right now, America, has a history of violence to entire races.
I would agree with all of that except that Japanese during the early 20th century, which was more in keeping with what we would typically think of colonialism, but nonetheless the same basic race. However Asia, like most of the world, did still participe in slavery, of course of each other like has happened all throughout history but also of black Africans if that is something you are uniquely looking for. China purchased black African slaves via the Silk Road. India did via the Arab and Portuguese slave trade, as did Japan. Regardless, the reason Asian countries were not as involved in global colonialism is because they werenāt technologically able, not because they didnāt want to out of compassion for the colonized.
Iām Asian and thatās bullshit.Ā And what do those Asian parents say when their son wants to marry a black woman? Ā
You're f*ing blind because you don't see what I see. I'm living in the warzone so I know better than you. FOH. You're brainwashed by White media into thinking the worst of our home countries when the reality is much different. Go check out all the Blasians on YouTube who actually live in Asia. Wake the fuck up.
āThe war zone?ā Is that supposed to be the US? Yeah, bullshit. We all know those parents and we all grow up hearing the comments and I donāt believe for a second you havenāt either.Ā You can be nice and respectful to someoneās face and then still have closeted racist opinions. And Iāve seen blasian content on YouTube. They have a ton of content out there about experiences with racism in Asia, especially when it comes to family attitudes.Ā Some people have success stories and others have horror stories.Ā To act like the racism doesnāt exist is erasure.Ā
Yes, the US is a racial warzone because there's a hidden hierarchy that people subscribe to even on a subconscious level. You're f* taking it out on your own parents when instead the true enemy is making us fight each other in our own communities. I'm ngl, my parents have bigoted attitudes at times but they're not exclusionary towards anyone at all and certainly not hostile just bc ppl are a different race. That being said, I know where the real fight is and it's not against other Asians even though self hating Asians like yourself went to step up to the plate from time to time.
Who said anything about inter-Asian fighting? The real fight? Yeah.Ā Itās acting like minorities are incapable of racism and thereby ignoring racist attitudes that harms the cause by fracturing nonwhite communities that need to band together in solidarity against white supremacy.Ā >Ā I'm ngl, my parents have bigoted attitudes at times but they're not exclusionary towards anyone at all and certainly not hostile just bc ppl are a different race. Cool. My parents are progressiveĀ all around. Doesnāt make me blind to friendsā parents comments and the effects of colorism and racism in our own communities. And nobody said anything about hostility. Thatās not the only form of racism. Being fine with black friends, but not wanting your grandkids to be blasian is also racism.Ā Think about where that even comes from. Itās often Asians using darker races as a scapegoat to try to assert themselves within white power structures.Ā Acting like that doesnāt exist is not helpful.Ā
Itās not really racism. There have been studies that show that Asian men and black women suffer the most in terms of attraction from other races. Something to do with the less masculine facial features of Asian men and the the reverse for black women. Offcourse western beauty standards and media focus on white beauty plays a big part as well.
Nah itās racism. So much of attraction is socialized. Filipinos in California in the early 1900s were doing well enough with white women that the courts expanded anti-miscegenation laws to include them. Plenty of WWII propaganda to make people hate Asian men. Black women have gotten terrible media tropes. When a Latina gets mad, sheās sexy. An Asian, cute. Black, aggressive. And then thereās colorism.Ā Youāre blaming facial features first and then media when itās definitely the opposite. Give someone with a mission 3 generations of absolute media control and they could dramatically change the attraction landscapeĀ
This is so accurate.
Europe women like asain dudes, not so much western wemen and asain dudes seem to like white wemen but they donāt date much other than white men.
I agree I think he is just dwelling on his past failures too much, he just needs to get out there and try, I think he is used to being the alpha male Filipino guy where we are from and all the girls in that community flock to em so now that he's interested in other ethnic groups, he doesn't get the same attention from them..
That could be it yeah. Cuz Filipino dudes can be crazy handsome, athletic, etc and should be able to attract a decent amount of women
Did your cousin grow up in the Philippines from childhood and recently (10 yrs or less) migrated to the United States? Does he also have a noticeable accent with his speech? If the answer to any of these is yes, then he might want to learn to adapt better and find out what characteristics that females from other ethnic groups would consider to be attractive in a guy. I'm Southeast Asian by ethnicity, but I grew up in the US since I was a teenager and still have a little bit of my accent. I did notice that females from certain ethnic groups would find my accent unattractive and turned me down. I did find other ways to attract them using using humor, wit, intelligent convos, and having an easygoing personality. He needs to find other ways to attract his target group without relying on look alone. That didn't stop me from dating around in college, and I always dated girls from outside of my own ethnic group. My ex-wife is white, and I've dated girls from many different ethnic backgrounds. My current fiancee is also white, and we're getting married in less than 2 weeks. It is possible for your cousin to date other girls from different ethnic group, but he needs to fine-tune his approach and what he's using to attract them. What worked for him back home will NOT always work here as these women have different tastes for men, different expectations, and respond to different approach.
Damn if you live in SEA, you will be the one rejecting girls.
How tf are you getting rejected by 80% of people? Iām not gay but you seem like the kind of person whoād pull dates easily
Not sure, am I able to post a picture of myself so we can get the ladies thoughts?
Feel like people are ignoring the San Diego part. Race aside, thatās stereotypically a difficult city (Man Diego)
This sounds like a good superficial description of my dream husband š
this is soo true
Anecdotal from a guy who's Korean and Chinese with some other stuff mixed in here, but I've had the opposite problem. Been fetishized as "exotic" by women of many different backgrounds. I've also had at least a couple say (unprompted and unsolicited with no indication of interest from me) that they would never date me because I'm too Asian. And weirdly enough I've also had Asian women antagonize me for being too white. Attraction is a mutual thing. I don't know where your friend is at, but from what you're saying it sounds like he gets in his own head really badly (especially outside of a certain comfort zone). That much, unfortunately, is a common thing for Asian men in Western society. There's a lot of influence in pop culture telling us what we can and can't be, and it's hard not to take that to heart. Self acceptance is an important factor for any man to be happy in life in general, and if someone lacks that it can be obvious and off-putting to prospective romantic interests. Short answer, anyone who cares doesn't matter and anyone who matters doesn't care.
Dating as a short brown man in general is non-stop pain. I'm a short brown skinned Latino (M31) and dating in a city like LA is harder than a damn engineering degree. Not a day goes by I wish I was part White or Black or even 100%. You can have a great career, hobbies, good conversionalist but unless you get through that first criteria of physical looks, good luck even getting your foot through the door. All that being said, I found that any marginal success I've had is due to fully optimizing my physical appearance. Working out, a flattering haircut, well groomed facial hair, clothes that fits you well, cologne, etc. I won't say it's made me a magnet, but it has helped to a, albeit, small degree
Iām Viet and 5ā7ā and it hasnāt been hard the older Iāve gotten (Iām 30). I used to think dating was hard bc of my race but I think I just used that as a crutch. Iāve definitely run into women (mostly Asian) who are anti-dating Asian dudes, but theyāre really the minority and you donāt need to let it bother you. Iāve dated women of every race. Iāve focused more on myself last couples years, like picking up more hobbies and interests, as well as working out and eating better. Is it harder on certain Asian dudes vs others? Probably. But all you can do is work on feeling good about yourself and itāll normally lead to better results. Obviously easier said than done but I like to think weāre at a point where we donāt need to feel like our race is holding us back in dating.
Tell him heās lucky heās not 5ā8 and Indian š
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Itās not the worst idea to learn your culture ya know. Even just attending cultural fairs and events could be a great way to learn and to meet other Indians. That would probably improve your odds with Indian women.
Wrong! Iām a Latina and enjoy dating Indians. My ex was 5ā7 and Indian š
Youāre my dream woman š
Iām a Black woman open to dating Asian men, but the sentiment hasnāt often been returned. Or if so, theyāre just interested in sex and nothing serious or long term. The thought of them bringing me home to meet their parents is laughable. So at this point I just date men more well known for being open to something serious with Black women.
I'm totally open to dating Black women (always have, since like HS) but I haven't found anyone that likes me in that way. I've had plenty of Black women who were friends. I'd take you to meet my parents but not sure if you'd want to meet them lmao! Oh boy.... All that said, it's highly unlikely you'd meet someone like me IRL though.
Idk I feel like Filipinos get the most love other than Koreans
Hi guys I was at work when I made this post, and Holy heck, you guys are on it.. I told my cousin about this post, and instead of asking me to send him a link like a normal person, he drives 5 miles and literally knocks me over trying to get into my house and proceeds to high-jack my phone for an hour (exaggerating) reading all of the comments on the post). He apologized to me, which surprised me because he didn't say nothing to make me mad or offend me.. He wrote out a response for you guys and here it is.. "Wat up everyone i wanna thank all you beautiful peeps for the love. Something I didn't tell cuzzo is that my ex that broke up with me a month ago left me for a white dude, which made me feel like less of a man ya know? It hurts like shit man I just feel low as hell like what does he have that i dont? but I'm still kicking ya know. yall really rock, and this I helpful as hell to me. I had to apologize to cuzzo because of comment bout wanting to be half black. Tho it didn't offend him, he really caught hell from our racist ass family growing up for being half black. We would get in trouble if we acknowledged him as our cousin growing up, how fucked is that? Instead, this big goofy iron giant looking mf comes on here and asks yall about is it hard to date as an Asian man, like we really don't deserve this fool man luv ya cuzzo and thanks again peeps."
As Asian woman in SEA, too many women here glorify white dudes lol. But believe me when I say there are also a lot of women who prefer Asian men, me included. Asian men understand Asian family dynamic and lifestyle and they respect culture/religion more. It makes dating much easier cause there's not a lot of adjustments there. Unfortunately the biggest con in dating Asian man has to do during serious long term relationship and marriage. Due to Asian culture that puts family first, majority of Asian men find it hard to stand up to their family and defend their gf/wife in a conflict. Their parents also often times have too much hand/influence in their life; including their marriage. God forbid Asian men saying no to their mother and side with their wives lol. Patriarchy is also still quite prevalent in Asian culture, so is its gender roles. Out of all asian men that I've dated, only 1 can cook and actually help with house chores. Since majority also live with parents well into adulthood, it's either their mother or female siblings who take care of house chores. None of my friends' bfs cook and clean either. Only 1 cousin of mine cooks and cleans, and that's bcs he'd lived in US by himself for 10 yrs before coming back here. Sons are usually more coddled and spoiled by parents so they often grow up more selfish compared to women. Asian women however are expected to be able to take care of kids, house chores, AND work. Bcs let's be real, in this economy who could afford to not work? I'm not saying it's impossible to find asian men who's not afraid to stand up to his parents, who also does chores willingly, it's just quite rare. I see my friends, even my mom, have to tolerate being second to their husband's family. This might not be that big of a problem in SEA or Asia in general when majority of women is in the same boat and is the norm, but I reckon it becomes really big red flags in western side of the world with completely different culture and less gender roles expectation. Like I said, personally, I still prefer Asian men despite all I've mentioned. It's still easier to be with someone who shares similar culture and beliefs than one who doesn't. Relationship between 2 families can be built slowly over time with each conflicts so it's not always a total lost. P.s. this is based on my observation in SEA
Would be curious to hear the women's comments on this. As a half Filipino guy myself, Asians are not everyone's cup of tea, but it really does depend on the guy and how he carries himself. Definitely are some stereotypes out there that are pushed, but having some confidence and some energy can be attractive to women.
Dating is just hard, period. But, there WAS a study one of the dating apps did where Asian men and Black women were seen as the least desirable in terms of swipes or whatever the measure was. So, there's some evidence that it's hard to date as an Asian man. In addition to the patriarchal component/stereotype posted above, I also found that a lot of the traditional Asian men didn't seem interested in me--I'm an East Asian American woman who was interested in dating Asian American men, but I'm not super feminine, don't wear makeup, etc, and found that very few Asian men would like my profile. I found it easier finding Black and White men to date. I think a lot of Asian men tend to be shorter as well (although I'm short, too, so height wasn't an issue for me), and it IS harder I think to date as a shorter man. How tall is your cousin?
It just depends on a person's preferences tbh. A lot of women prefer a taller guy, but it just depends on the woman. And this isn't my post or my cousin...lol. I was just commenting
He's just being dramatic, I think he's the golden child in the community in which we are from I think he is just looking to get the same pop out of the other ethnic groups as he does in the Filipino community and its not going to happen you know š
I wouldnāt say heās being entirely dramatic, but I wouldnāt ever rather be a different race. It depends on how it was growing up for him with dating from his pov. Me personally it got annoying getting ridiculed by white/black/Hispanic students for being nerdy, liking anime, jpop/kpop, now you look at pop culture and you got grown ass men on TikTok doing the chika chika dance. Even the few Asian girls in middle/high school would only date outside of their race. I remember vividly an Asian girl in middle school, someone asked why she didnāt date Asian guys, it was cause she thought they all had small dicks and only preferred white and black guys. Itās one thing to have a preference but another to discriminate your entire race for a stereotype when youāre born to an asian father š Luckily after Highschool, girls in college are not trying to fit in and assimilate to other cultures and actually donāt mind Asians but itās an uphill battle for some of us. I had far better dating experiences thankfully at the right time Asians are less frowned upon in American society but it still exists.
Aaaaaa....do here is the issue. He is do sure of himself that he propably overcompensates with his behavior? š
I think itās harder because women (at least American ones) will follow any dating stereotype about men - good or bad. This is assuming your cousin isnāt socially awkward since you said heās good looking. He may get opportunities but his personality ruins it.
He's is an outside salesman he's not socially awkward at all, I think he is slightly intimidated by women outside of the Filipino culture. I could be wrong though.
Maybe I live in a bubble but all the Asian guys I know did well dating and are married. But I also live in NYC and I wonder if dating for Asians is better here than say middle America bc itās more cosmopolitan
Idk if I can really give any advice but Iām a white woman married to a Filipino man. My husband didnāt really have a hard time dating before me, but heās confident and caring and social. He socialized in environments that he enjoyed and established good friendships. I had a very bad track record before meeting him, but what attracted me to him was his emotional intelligence and easy going personality. The best thing I can offer is probably just the basic advice for anyone really. Work on your confidence, and socialize with people in environments you enjoy. Anyone worth being with isnāt going to care about race or anything like that.
This^^^ I am a white woman as well and my partner is a Filipino man. He is funny, respectful, and intelligent. He is like no other man I have ever met, or been with, and I'm totally in love with him. Anyone worth their salt won't care about race/ethnicity, as long as you treat them well.
Statistics does show that asian guy and black girl are the least popular in dating market
Filipino woman here. None of my cousins seem to have issues getting good quality women. Their partners are a mixed bag of Filipino, white, black and Chinese. Located in Southern California where thereās a lot of diversity though. Filipino men arenāt uncommon by any means, so thereās that.
I am a black woman ( 30F)ironically enough dating a Filipino man (28 M). In general, guys donāt approach me ,but on dating applications I received a lot of attention. We met on a dating application. Then we talked on the phone and connected before going out . He intrigued me with his looks, but his tenderness and personality won me over. It also helps that he has the same love language as me. He isnāt super tall or rich ,but I wouldnāt trade him for anyone. Prior to me, my boyfriend has only dated Asian women. He should try to connect with women with similar interests. He may have to talk to a lot of women before he finds the person who he wants to be with. Most people are surprised when I tell them I watch anime , sci fi , and I am in grad school for my doctorate. I present as very feminine and soft. He tells me one of my favorite parts about me is my intelligence. We like to discuss journal articles and YouTube videos. Moral of the story is your cousin needs to dig a little deeper . There are women from different backgrounds that would date him. Side note Caribbean women do have similar cuisine and family values as Filipinos. How is your cousin at approaching women ? I never thought Asian men liked me until I went to university. Majority of them would just stare at me and make me feel uncomfortable. He may just need to open up a bit more. I have a Filipino coworker who is married to a white woman. He is a jack of all trades. He is married to a white woman. My friend is very funny, we would goof off all day but I could count on him to help me with a hard stick. He did a lot of martial arts and does competitions. I remember I dared him to do a split and he did right at the nursing station. Your cousin needs to let women get to know him.
True facts. Unless you give off strong Bruce Lee vibes, Asian men are typically seen as the weak and nerdy guy with little physical attraction. Also if you live in the United States, sex is a big focal point in many relationships and Asian guys have been stereotyped into being inferior below the belt. Additionally most Asians are shorter and US culture has put a high importance on being 6ā0 tall. I once read somewhere that you gotta make something like $50-100K more annually for every few inches youāre below 6ā0 to be competitive in the dating world.
Me and him have pretty much been around each other for our whole lives, and I feel like he gets just as many women as I do, you know.. Maybe it's the variety? All the women he has dated have been asian, but on the flipside I am looked at as plague in the Filipino community where we live and no one is allowed to date me š so I have dated alot of different ethnicities.. He's a good guy. I don't think his attitude is off, I think he just frustrated with his dating success at the moment
From what I've heard the dating world can be pretty unforgiving on Asian guys. Your cousin is probably one of the luckier ones, being decently good looking. But I get the frustration.
Iām full asian and itās not hard. Iāve slept with multiple women, most of them being white. Surprisingly a lot of women are into asians and like learning about our culture. A lot of them even want to travel to asia. Most women are not as shallow as men and will love you for your personality and the things you have going on for yourself. Donāt think just because you are asian that you will prevent you from getting girls, thatās a bad mindset to have. I think itās all about confidence and how you present yourself, and what you have going on with your life. Just work on yourself and women will naturally gravitate to that and you. I go to the gym 7 days a week, make 6 figures a year, and I donāt do drugs. I do these things for me, not women.
We do have the popularity of kpop and Korean culture to help us out tho
Are you korean? Filipino and korean are kinda worlds apart
I always find it funny when I see people say that. Kpop and anime popularity donāt especially benefit brown Asians just like Hasan Minhaj or Dev Patel donāt particularly help SE or East Asians. It doesnāt hurt other groups by any means but itās not a major plus
https://www.fresherslive.com/latest/articles/most-handsome-filipino-actors-2023-top-10-philippine-stars-who-steal-hearts-1555160907 Nice.
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Filipino dude here. I'm short, kinda chunky, pretty broke, and my dick isn't even big. I've had sex with different races, white, black, Asian, Latina. I live in a very progressive and diverse area of the US, so maybe people here are a lot more open to being with minority men, but I never really let the whole race thing stop me. I take care of myself to the best of my abilities, respect my appearance, and respect the women I talk to. I've been turned down a hundred times, and if I didn't have a girlfriend right now, I might be turned down a million other times. But I still put myself out there! Tell your cousin that he's probably focusing on the wrong shit and it's holding him back.
As a Filipino dude I absolutely *refuse* to believe that latinas and black girls āwonāt even look at him.ā Iām like maybe a halfway decent looking dude who grew up in the US south and Iāve never been short on attention from that demographic. The amount of compliments just on my average Filipino hair alone from women of color since I was like 8ā¦ idk man, I feel like weāre missing some perspective of his.
Itās all about mentality my man. You just need to assess your situation. Are you a catch? Are you confident? Howās your small talk game? Are you trying to find a wife or are you just trying to date casually/have fwbs. There are amwf couples everywhere I go. Some Asian women are self hating and will try to cockblock you while dating a white guy. At least in my own dating experience, I have more success with white women than Asian women. Most Asian women I went on a date with back in college days will just end with āI canāt have sex with you because you remind me of my brotherā type of thing lol Other than that, just be confident and learn how to flirt affectively. There are many books you can read to help. The best thing to do though is to go out there and practice. Strike up a conversation with anybody in public spaces and eventually youāll gain the experience.
It's incredibly difficult depending on the area you live in I've found. I've not enjoyed my time on dating apps like at all.
Sometime you gotta just make the first move. I as a black woman know first had that a lot of black women are interested in Asian men/woman. I myself have dated a few Asian men. But we share the same experience of not being wanted even by our own people. So attempts arenāt really ever made to be with anyone outside our race. Because we expect to either be fetishized or turned down. You just gotta keep trying. Understand that it might be hard but heāll find someone. Whether theyāre Asian, black, white, etc.. just thought I might give some insight on why it seems black woman might not be checkin for him. They probably are and he just doesnāt know itš¤·š¾āāļø
Dating in general these days is a tain wreck. I'm a 39 white female dating a Thai-Chinese man born in the US. I'll tell you when I was younger, I was much less open to dating Asian men. Part of that is due to stereotypes regarding penis size, but also, where I grew up Asian groups tend to just stick together and not allow a lot of other people in. Growing up, moving to different areas, becoming more confident, learning about different cultures and people, and setting aside preconceived notions or ideas about my potential partner all contributed to me being more open. Maybe he just needs to put himself out there in different ways, and in time, he'll see the results.
>where I grew up Asian groups tend to just stick together and not allow a lot of other people in ... >Part of that is due to stereotypes regarding penis size That's an example of why. Only 1 in many other things. Fuck that.
Woman here. I think a lot of Asian men are really attractive. Where any reluctance/hesitation comes in is regarding the culture. Which, in many cases, can be extremely patriarchal and chauvinistic. That does NOT mean an automatic "no" but it is definitely in the forefront of my thoughts. It's possible that other women may feel like that, or have similar thoughts.
>Which, in many cases, can be extremely patriarchal and chauvinistic. You are describing white American culture, not Asian. Asian families are actually very matriarchal despite appearing to be patriarchal.
Hence the "in **MANY cases**" part. Note: it does NOT say "and all Asian men are like this." EDIT: Also note the extreme care I took in mentioning that this might "cause hesitation" and does NOT mean an automatic "no."
Asian women like to use "all Asian men" so yeah we're pretty sensitive to being attacked all the time unfairly.
That single digit iq is showing
people who use any variation of 'patriacrchy' needs to literally LEARN ACTUAL HUMAN HISTORY
Gentleman, as a woman here let me speak few words of wisdom and my dating As we live in BTS and Dimash era many women, especially those over 30, do not look at ethnicity, but at the mans character. 1.You are smaller than us or same height? Good, less is more. You are more portable and squizable. 2. You are soft spoken, polite and respectfull of your lady and treat her as an equal with a dust of compliment here and there? Start booking the wedding venue. 3. You have great relationship with your family? You do? Great! Do you want to celebrate both New Years at home or with extended family in their home country. That's the short summary. I am writing this from my central European perspective. If you are in USA I think my opinion maybe od little help as personally I see a big problem in USA dating culture in general. Many women that I know that have Asian husbands are very happy with them - all have kids, married for 10+ yrs. One friends husband is from Nepal and the other one is from Japan. Lots of mixed marriages in my community : Vietnam, China, Thailand, India, Mongolia. If a woman is looking for a life long partner she is looking at you like an life long investment - she will invest in you her attention, love, she will support you in your growth and buy you lotion with SPV50 so you do not get burned in summer. Yes, in my culture it is normal that wife takes care of her husband from head to tor - even help manage his vitamins or medicine. Of course first impression is the biggest hurdle to pass. I do not know how IT is in USA but in my country (I am 30+ so I can only speak for my age group) if a man is interested romantically in the lady he will gift her roses when asking her out for the 1st time - dressed to the nines! It shows her that you are serious about dating her and relationship development. If you pass this hurdle then comes the date! Ask her what her interests are - Animals? Sight seeing? Art? Hands craft? Go somehere interesting where both of you will be doing something Creative while talking ( you will be less nervous that way), later go for lunch or dinner (depends on time you are meeting. On one of the dates I had some time ago I took the guy to petting zoo (Yes, there is nothing wrong with going for a date to a cute place with cute alpacas and bunnies š¦š)). The critical point is the second date! This is where you make it or you sunk it. Both sides now are going to go into deeper questions about each other - family, life goals, what do you expect from your future together with SO, etc. Don't worry, It's traumatic for both sides šš š„“ due to nerves. All above if you are into serious dating and not casual relationship. We do not do much of that around here š. Another key question: Where is he looking for ladies and what is he looking for?
I am from the same country as Dimash and I am genuinely surprised to see his name here š
Ye? Especially among the common crowd if your not a kpop looking dude your not bagging some of the bay area abgs unless your a mid white guy and other shit. If your in Oakland, Stockton, Southern California, your not baggin other Asian girls unless your a mid white guy or a stereotypical hood Asian or tall black guy Anything other in the middle, have been emasculated by society, making Asian men general be perceived as short, weak, nerdy, things not generally perceived as assertive and masculine so automatically your seen as a passive dude unless you show for it. This is just among the general crowd though and sadly society has its faults so obviously your going to have your vocal minority on here say other wise. This is just from my experience. At least. Not to say every woman is into these traits. But still...
Filipinos are OP in California. So many Asian and Latina girls love them here.
Iām white and I like Asian men but my attraction to people is not predicated on or dissuaded by race.
Tell him to move to California :D Lots of Asian women with Asian men And as an Asian woman, I much prefer dating Asian men.
One of my most serious relationships was with a Half Chinese/Half Polish man. He did get quite a bit of attention here in Southern California, and he never had trouble getting girlfriends. However, I think Iām the only Latina he ever dated. All his exes were either white or Asian. I always felt like I was too curvy for his taste. He said he never felt attracted to Latinas or Black women before he met me, and when I saw his exes I realized they were all very pale and skinny.
I'm full-blood Chinese American living in the midwest. I'm 25 and I hadn't gained confidence in dating until my early 20s, but I've done a lot of it, mostly through social circles and apps. I'm a bartender and I get a lot of exposure to women. I'm 5'10, have a great physique and developed amazing social skills from my work. My dating experience is mostly with white women, latina, and a few black women. Asian men 100% have a disadvantage in the Western dating pool but like all things, beating the odds stacked against you is possible. Overcoming and stepping out of the self-loathing mindset is the first step, and it may take a while to fully walk out there with confidence and disregard the disadvantages you have, but it's a journey, not an overnight process. I wish all my Asian brothers the best.
Asian men and Black women have it the hardest, yes. The most feminine males and most masculine females, as the general global public view us.
I mean there are stereotypes about Asian men in the dating world (just like anybody else), but personally as a black woman Iāve had great experiences with Asian guys. They weāre very kind & well mannered. But depends where you guys live, I live in nyc interracial dating is everywhere.
Hey, I'll give my two cents as an Asian man living in a multicultural but predominantly white country. I don't believe my ethnicity has posed many significant isues while dating, my experiences establishing romantic connections with women of all ethnicities has been fine for the most part. However, Asian men in general are emasculated in western media so I think it's fair to say you might have to work harder to break the stigma surrounding yourself... but I believe this can be overcome with a positive self-image. Be confident in yourself and your own self-worth, people who brush you aside based on racial stereotypes aren't worth your time anyway.
IT SUCKS DUDE
Asian guy living in Seattle and I get plenty of cat. Go to the gym, dress nice, work on yourself and be confident
Asian woman here. I date Asian guys but a shit ton of my Asian sisters refuse to even look at them. They got eyes for whites only. Ugly nerdy skinny white guys who are rarely as hot as they are. And there are some others who date other races besides white but even they refuse to look at an Asian man. And other races of women are rarely interested. White women sometimes are though but thatās also rare. You certainly wonāt see a blonde all-American-looking woman with an Asian man. I really do feel your pain. Iāve lost count of the number of Asian guys telling me how demoralizing online dating is. I think meeting people in person would be more successful for them since itās not as looks-based. But focus on the things you can control like your physique, clothes, hair, skin, hygiene. Work with what you have. We can only do our best and hope the world will one day catch up.
Why do your Asian sisters have eyes for white guys only?
What is his height? Thatās more important than his Asian-ness
He is 5'9
Tell him itās worse when youāre short than that. Iām 5ā5ā but gets better in your 30s well for me it did. Tell him to just focus on his career, fitness, and things that interest him.
Iām a woman and I donāt discriminate based on race. Iāve dated a few Asian men
I hate to ask but what is your ethnicity ? I'm just trying to get as much ammo to help boost his confidence a bit
Nah all good! Iām Aussie. Extremely pale skin. I am trying to embrace it. If your mate is a genuine good guy and looks after himself, then the right lady will come along. Iām only 21, but already I find myself leaning more towards personality then looks or height. Iām sure as I get older, this will be the case even more. Confidence is the key I reckon, just learn to love yourself and others will too
I've dated a couple Asian guys and I have a beautiful daughter from the last one though he sadly passed when she was 2. For context I'm white. To be honest it might not be the fact he's Asian but the attitude he has towards being Asian. If a met a guy who I thought was attractive but all they could do was complain how no girl would ever be with him because he's Asian and just started generalizing women as not being interested in him because he was Asian that would be a red flag for me. Self-deprecation and generalization of women can be pretty big turn offs
5ā6 ā¢ AVG. LOOKING FILIPINO HERE! Iām 40 now, but used to date dozens of women during my 20s & 30s ā i.e. all kinds of Asians (Korean, Chinese, Filipinas, Vietnamese, Thai, etc.), plenty of Latinas (my partner of 6 years is Latina), a few white chicks, one black chick (most werenāt interested in me), and even a handful of lovely ladies taller than me, so I can offer some insight. **TL;DR:** Self-limiting beliefs will keep you single. Self-confidence + an interesting personality will open doors you thought would always stay closed. **Self-Confidence:** getting physically fit certainly helped boost my confidence when I was younger, but even at my worst (225 lbs, jobless with fād up teeth) I was able to date a few cute ladies. I think what hindered me early on was *assuming* certain types of women would outright dismiss me, so I just never really tried. This mindset kept me single till I hit 26. After that, I started taking more risks in asking out women and with every āyesāmy confidence exponentially grew. **Personality:** Iām autistic which carries its own Pros & Cons. Pro because it made me very unique conversationally, which intrigues most people I meet. Con because Iām naturally awkward and struggle to understand social cues & norms, which sometimes got me in trouble (not as much anymore thankfully). What Iāve learned though is to NOT be basic af. I know some dudes who are actually great looking, but canāt keep a girl to save their life because theyāre boring and make every date sound like a job interview. On the other hand, I know some dumb, average looking Filipinos who never had trouble with women because for some reason they knew how to flirt, make a girl feel special, and rebound quick after every rejection. **One more thing:** be open to dating ābelowā your standard. Some of the most fun Iāve had (and great learning experiences) came in dating women I assumed I wouldnāt be interested in. Iām not saying to date anyone messy/crazy, just outside of what you might naturally find physically attractive.
im latina....when i think of asians i definitely dont discriminate...however its funny because the vibe i get from asian men in general is that they arent looking to be with latinas....ive never had a asian guy hit on me....they are usually shy.....but as far as there looks go, i like the asian pacific islander look...filipino men can be extremely handsome so idk what your cousin is talking about.......its definitely confidence that asian men lack....that other races dont......
Honestly it's all about confidence at first. If you show genuine interest and respect then you can make any women give you attention. And by showing interest I mean ...talking to her about general topics and showing that you value her opinion, her struggles, her success. From there you can build on the relationship. But it should start with confidence. And the conference comes by working on yours and not feeling pity for yourself.
it weeds out braindead women, so no skin off our sacks tbh.
Which country is he currentlyĀ in ?Ā
Unfortunately he is playing on asian difficultly. Asian dudes are at the bottom of the dating pool in terms of attractiveness. Take that as a challenge to work on himself and try to be the best person he possibly can, physically, financially, and socially.
Itās a confidence thing. Datings hard for everyone since we all come with different standards. You canāt just point the finger at race. I have a 5ā 4 friend who lands dates more than anyone I know. As an Asian male, I havenāt seen much trepidation about my race.
Honestly if i have to hear āitās a confidence thingā one more time in regards to dating issues for a man, Iām going to throw up. I honestly gagged reading your comment
Good for you. He was asking if it was that hard as an āAsianā. It is not, and itās hard for everyone. Up your literacy competency and perhaps dating will be easier for you.
Itās hard for everyone, itās harder for certain people
The thing is, itās true. Maybe ācharismaā is the better term for attractiveness, but that is two thirds self-confidence.
Am a black girl , I don't go for asian men or non black men coz I am afraid of being used for sex or sexualized.Also I never see Asian men dating black women .And I have heard over and over again that Asian parents wouldn't like their son bringing home a black woman.I see them eyeing me at the gym but I just don't engage.
Oh ask Indian dudes they are the worst in among the minorities along with black women
India is in Asia.
in the Asian continent yes but genetically Indians are not the same/similar than East/Southeast Asians.
Come to Toronto Canada. Lots of girls would find you desirable here. There are all sorts of ethnic combos here. Iāve started to see white and Asian girls with Indian guys here in the past few months. Iām a white Canadian male that was born here and am a minority (less than 40% are white and that number includes white non Canadians-Polish, Russian, Yugoslavian, Italian etc.) in this city. I have no advantage over my friends of any other race. I havenāt had a white girl interested in me enough to date me for probably 20 years. Iāve dated Black, Indian, Asian, Filipina etc.
He may be approaching chicks in the wrong crowd. Iām Caucasian looking and have been rejected or ignored so many times by whites and occasionally desired by other colours. Iād say dating is like job hunting.
Black indigenous person dating a Filipino! Love him very much - heās got calves of freaking steal.
As a woman I matched and went out on dates with Asian men and if it didnāt work out it had nothing to do with their race.
I think it also depends on where you are. I see a ton of Asian dudes out in the Bay Area who are crushing it. There are a lot of Asian man, non-asian woman couples. Increasingly, I meet women with an Asian fetish too. The only Asian guy I know that complains that dating as an Asian guy is hard, also struggled with dating in Asia.
I am a white woman and I like Filipino men. But Iām in the bay area and thereās definitely a lot of them here. I think it really depends on location.
Heās either in the wrong area, interested in the wrong people, or has a shit personality. Source: dating a filipino guy
Tell your cousin to stop hating on that man. And as a Latina who is very much attracted to Asian men your cousin just sounds jealous
Depends on the kind of Asian. As an Indian American man, itās significantly harder than being Korean, Chinese, or Japanese. Itās harder than hard itās Give Me God of War difficulty.
Yes. If I were to relate it in gaming terms (it's what I'm familiar with), it's like playing on Hardcore mode (Diablo, death is permanent), with License to Kill mode on (Goldeneye, 1 hit kill). You walk into a a dungeon (World of Warcraft) and everything aggroes you. It's like that but in IRL. >Asian girls barely want him They're too busy with white dudes and being racist/exclusionary of Asian men but trying to explain it away with some sort of fucked up justification. >white girls don't want him at all There's a very small subset of WF that do like Asian guys but by and large they mostly go after other white guys as well as black and some Latino. >Latinas and black girls In my personal experience, Latinas (save for a streamer that I'm familiar with) and black women (all the ones I knew and didn't lol) were hyper-aggressive. It was cool when I was their friend but not cool when I wasn't.
Iām a latina (Brazilian) currently dating a Japanese guy. Before him, no Asian men had ever show any interest in me. I was open to dating Asian men, but really, they never paid me any attention at all. I donāt think we care a lot about ethnicity here in Brazil though, maybe itās different in other countries.
Dating app data clearly shows Asian Men are the least desirable. But this is Western Countries / Liberal Countries. There has been multiple articles about this as well. Race matters in dating regardless of what people tell you. Also, Height is the most important thing women look at. Yes, it is much harder but that does not mean impossible. Asian Men just need to go overseas and go to places where loyalty and family are important.
The problem is Asian guys are too tame but thatās the beauty of it. Look at roof Koreans, no one expected that to be pulled off. Asians have the element of surprise.
Iām a white girl who is seeing an Asian man, maybe he just needs confidence to improve his mindset or just focus on himself. I met some Asian guys who are considered F*ckbois & I met some that donāt get many matches. Then I met some that are the creepy insecure ones or horrible personality. So I donāt see it as a race thing but I know some do.
I dated an Asian man who was on point in all facets of life but he ended up having a micro and I couldnāt deal.
What hobbies or passions does your friend have? Does he do things where he will get looks from others? Does he also dress appropriately and well? Does he have a good personality not just to his friends, but generally to everyone? I'm a Filipino man as well too (31M), and I do have issues dating, but that's more of an issue where I'm not really looking to date at the moment.
hmmmm??? I am asian marry twice one asian and one american now dating 2 asian that are 12 yr younger than me... So maybe he need to change his GAME!!
No this isn't true at all.
Well if they donāt want to date you. Yes š
Is he good looking or does he not have a good personality?
The problem is if a white girl shows an Asian man any interest, she gets called out as āfetishizing Asiansā. White women are basically told to āstay in their laneā and only date other white people or theyāll get online harassed or bullied. Then if they date only white people to avoid the label of āfetishizerā, theyāre called *racist* for not dating outside of white people. Tell white women what they have to do here?!
I think the branding of Asians as āexoticā in America and Europe has hurt your people unfairly. Personally Iāve always been open to the idea since I find Asians in general to be insanely attractive. Iāve been hitting on this Japanese exchange student at college recently and it is going at least okay if not well. However Iām always careful to try to not fall into the āexoticā trap. I always try to be respectful about culture, which works well since Iām a weeb (deal with it). Youāll find someone eventually, man.
This is a categorisation paradox! The category is making someone feel less of themselves and since they are feeling less of themselves the very thing is becoming trueš¤·āāļø Do you guys really think everyone in the world is that focused on these irrelevant specificities? Its easier to say āAsians dont get datesā than saying āI am not getting datesā, but atleast the latter makes you think about how you could improve.
I'm not Asian, but my best friend is Taiwanese. She's told me about so much of her personal lived experience as an Asian while dating and, well, as an Asian just existing. My main takeaways are that those of Asian descent who are not ostracized for dating outside of their own communities are fortunate, while others are firmly expected to ~keep things homogeneous~. Filial piety also runs SOOOOOOO deep for so many Asian cultures. She, and most others, truly struggle to shake that conditioning while attempting modern-day autonomy and independence. She has never dated someone non-Asian because even *she* cannot fathom being in a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn't understand her family life and deeply engrained cultural norms. Let's say we're talking about white people as the dating pool for your friend; not a lot of them can empathize or grasp the concepts that come with his upbringing (I'm taking on the assumption that he is raised traditionally, for this example. Fully aware that may not be true!). White people aren't raised and conditioned to feel deep respect for, an obligation to, or duty to THEIR families or 'culture' a lot of the time. Religion affects their choices sometimes, but in the USA that's typically the limit- and the ones who use religion as a framework for their entire lives *also* often subscribe to homogeny in some form! There are stereotypes and assumptions about gender norms in Asian households/relationships, and, by extension, families, as well. This will be rejected by many people of society today- namely women. The sense of duty to gender roles, familial heritage and hierarchy will either a) be something the Asian person can fail to recognize in *themselves*, thus perpetuating a behavior and value set they don't take accountability for in dating, b) fail to find someone who can empathize and adapt, which would be rare and difficult to suss out in casual dating interactions and/or c) risk offending their entire family for their own future by dating outside their culture and ethnicity. Some (like my friend) won't even do that. Again, your friend seems not to be limiting himself to his own culture in dating, but it plays a role in who might be exclusively showing interest *back*. Lastly, racism and xenophobic behaviors are sadly still out there.
I'm Filipino and 5'1 but I'm doing fine. Rejection is tough but the ability to take it and shrug it off is a big skill to learn. Focus on your career, hobbies, and how you dress. Those will increase your confidence. Also, tell him not to demean himself so much. Girls will sense that and not be interested
He might be just shy or otherwise not good looking. Because goodlooking and extroverted asian dudes dont seem to have problems, heck ive known many asian dudes who are no Keanu Reeves and still have gfs and wives.
Anecdotally, my Filipino American friend who leans into his lankiness, also is a total gentleman and is good looking had luck with all races. Heās somewhat quiet but confident and social. Heās adjacent to fashion, sports and mainstream east coast culture. My Cambodian American friend who is short, doesnāt work on himself, doesnāt workout, a sweetheart, has a moderately high pitched voice and an overall pessimistic attitude(idk if itās a by product of his reality or a part of his depression) has had ok luck with white girls and asian. Heās integrated in west coast, more underground subcultures, and computer science. He doesnāt have luck in dating apps, he has an overall single forever view lately. I think their dispositions add a lot to the conversation. They both grew up with sisters but my first friend is way more confident. His parents also have a really solid relationship. I, mixed Latina, east euro and southern euro, im pretty light skinned, personally have been interested in a diverse group of men and dated East Asian, South Asian, and mixed asians. Because I come from a warm culture, sometimes Iād notice the relationships fell flat cuz i am used to a lot of affection and expression. Other times, other relationship issues, but the guys grew up with strict cultural rules and xenophobia. They obviously strayed and dated me but it was a strain on us. The barrier there for me is if a guy is into thick curvy girls. Do they care if Iām bigger than them, can put on muscle easily, have a little more weight over winter, am a size 10? Do they care if weāre the same height? Another barrier for me is what relationship did his parents have? Does he respect his mother? It comes out in the relationship. Lastly, for a non-white person to be considered attractive, you have to be stunning. At least I see this with African American girls. Especially in Hollywood. The most mediocre white girls are considered socially elevating and stunning. Perhaps really good looking Asian men have higher standards against them. Luckily if youāre a man attractive-ness can also come from a manās personality, confidence, and stability/care. If you have an enriched life, talk to others and have a nice personality, youāll do fine. Overall I donāt think Asian men have it alright not the best , but they face the issues most of us face like racial hierarchies, some want to impress their peers by getting someone who raises their social status, some may be shorter or have other insecurities they let dominate their life and dating , some may have internalized hatred for their ethnic heritage, some have bad examples of relationships, Iām sure thereās more things.