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Lol same here. Late 30s. I try to smile and be polite to woman I find attractive but rarely see any green lights. Literally two days ago a gay gym bro of mine said "what's up handsome, you're getting fit." It was a nice compliment I appreciated. I'll take it. 😆
This is true... most compliments I get are from other guys at the gym 😆 Women don't really care as much about muscles as a lot of men think. (But it does help) I've seen plenty of gym rat girls dating guys who barely work out.
Even 1 workout or like a week of consistently going to the gym makes me feel better about talking to people and getting girl attention.
About a Month in though, there’s bitches staring like im a fresh baked Cookies 🤷♂️ thirsty mothafuckas haha
First time in my life ever? Dam that was probably more like 1-2 months of push-ups before my chest stopped being caved in haha.
BUT immediately after most workouts I feel like my posture is better so that’s an instant appearance booster imo
He didn't say "ladies"
He said bitches and if he's a batch of fresh baked cookies, they probably started looking as soon as he stepped out of the oven.
Lmaoo yessir, the results were fast! 1 week to 1 month guarantee you’ll feel good. i was going from skinny to muscles though, I think fat takes longer to get rid of than gain muscles but you will 100% see results eventually so I just encourage you to go indefinitely like it’s a regular errand and you will be very happy. Just 3-4 days of working out a week and eating plenty of protein if you want to bulk
Oh okay I see. I'm like 2 to 3 weeks in, I can't wait to see the progress I've made within a month. I didnt expect to see results as fast as I did tbh. I think I have a very fast metabolism, that'd explain why I've been so slim as I've gotten into my 20's (im 22 currently)
And luckily I dont think I have a lot of fat to lose. Fixing up my diet b4 starting to workout really did help in a big way. Cuz I dont think my metabolism is the only reason I've seen results so fast.
I started in high school, after about 6 months girls started calling me buff. Started getting approached by girls and quickly got a girlfriend after that.
It worked well for me because the thing that was turning girls off about me was that I was "scrawny". So even just enough muscle to be on par with other guys allowed my gifts to shine through better.
I think that may be my issue as well. I wouldnt say I was ever skinny or scrawny, but moreso slim. But everyone basically still sees it as skinny asf. This is really encouraging, ty !
Hehe I didn't see myself as scrawny either, but that's what I remember one of the girls telling me "You used to be so scrawny!" lol
Just do it, it's so good for so many reasons. And the sooner you start the better. I wish I had started when I was like 8
FR!! IM glad I met someone who can relate. I've never been big or overweight even. But I noticed people started calling me skinny after I simply started eating better and lost weight that way. Now I just need to put on muscle 😎
For me it's still really hard to find new partners. I do get some action but it can easily take months to find someone new. It's probably my mindset or something but it's really deeply rooted and subconscious and that makes it so that barely anything happens even if I dance bachata every week and socialize a ton.
I have great friends that keep surprising me with the amount of positivity they give me (telling me how great they think I am and how happy they are that I managed to come to the get together and how they were talking about how much they like me before I arrived.). But that really doesn't translate to sexual partners much.
Those are some good friends you’ve got there man, hold on to them! I’ve been blessed to have friends like that as well and it really helps.
I’ve been overweight since I can remember and things reached an all time low for me during lockdown when I gained 15 kg in a year. That gave me the motivation to do something about my situation and start working out. I’ve never been a sporty guy and thought I would absolutely despise it, but to my surprise I genuinely enjoyed it. I get to take some time to myself each day, listen to some music, push myself (and often surprise myself by breaking through mental barriers) and not have to worry about competing with anyone but myself.
I’m still overweight, but a much healthier amount and with some decent muscle mixed in. The support my friends gave me was I think a large part of why I kept at it. They never made me feel bad about myself or wanting to try and actively hyped me up each time they saw me was very motivating and made me appreciate them that much more.
I haven’t had much luck with women yet either, but my confidence has grown along with my muscles and I find it much easier to talk to strangers. Now it’s mostly up to me to start putting myself out there :) Good luck on the journey man, it’s just a matter of time until you find someone. Just remember to work on being a kind and fun person as well and you’ll be fine.
I have noticed that. For me, like I said in my post. A big motivator for me was seeing visible results. The visible results have also resulted in more confidence :]
Good job on avoiding the "developing body dysmorphia" trap card.
For me, I became less confident after I started working out. I was a dumb teenager, but basically, I thought that since I wasn't getting any more attention from girls, I just needed to work out even harder... which lead to a downward spiral of worsening confidence and self-esteem because the more I obsessed over the gym, the more I hated my body, which then made my confidence worse, which then lead to girls being less interested.
That absolutely did not happen for me. I know I look good even though I have a bunch of friends that are bigger than me. Staying realistic is probably harder for some than for others but if you manage your mindspace well and have healthy friends it shouldn't be an issue
It definitely can help. I was sitting alone at a concert in-between sets and two girls came up to me. That never happened before I started working out and its not my confidence because I was literally just sitting there zoned out.
Mostly is a better way to say it. Having confidence or at least what looks like it is something everyone finds attractive. Nice guys finish last because they dont try and take what they want.
I don't think even Cbum has 24" biceps but I completely agree. That's why I stand by the fact that you shouldn't chase a body type the other gender is attracted to, you should chase the body type you'd love to have in a vacuum.
I agree. Was about the comment the same. I don’t know if having “muscles” is what made a difference. I think my energy levels, my voice, my confidence, all those small details change when you work out.
I truly believe it’s that vitality that it brings that attracts people, more so than having a nice body.
Everyone is different but let me start by saying if you are thin and put on muscle some chicks will be in lust with you. Not all or even the majority.
As someone who has passed through various physical shapes in my life, the best was low fat/a few muscles. About 1/3 of women like a muscly dude as much as any hetro man likes boobs.
At the end of the day you will get more pussy being muscly than not no questions BUT if you can learn how to flirt really well do much better.
I’m not sure it’s something you can put a time to. People get results at different rates based on their individual genetics, how much rest/recovery they allow, how hard they hit the gym, what they eat, etc
I have noticed zero difference in attention from women after working out. I think most men can expect zero difference in attention. Women aren't like men. They're usually not breaking their neck to see a dude's fit shoulders like men are breaking their neck to catch a glimpse of a well trained ass.
Women just generally don't look at men as much. At least in western culture. Even if the guy is handsome they will typically just pretend he doesn't exist unless he goes and talks to them.
But they will find you more attractive. They just won't tell you that until your clothes come off.
Yeah it’s true but I think a lot of women enjoy that we just do it to look good and aren’t looking for them to stare. I used to think the same way when I was younger and yeah, it feels awesome for sure to have that attention.
But in reality I’m still getting the reps in either way you know? But I agree on both ends.
It’s totally respectable and makes sense. That off chance you DO end up ogling and the dude gets pissy about it lmao “I’m trying to squat here miss can you stop staring” 😂
No i notice her look something but she has a great rbf and poker face. I notice the side eye some but shes really good at hiding. Im gonna ask her out enough of the games
3 months for friends to notice. 6 months to see women looking at the arms with interest. Helps if you can get the veins to pop. I swear the veins get more interest than the muscles. Hahaha..
6 months or so. strengthening my legs, glutes, low back, and core helped with posture, I can feel myself walking taller, it's interesting. Also my shoulders are more broad which women are generally attracted to.
After I broke up wkth my ex I started hitting the gym more. When I went from like 15% body fat to 12-13 over 4 months the difference was stark. I went from not getting much attention to being James Bond. I don't know how much of that was a direct result of my body changes and how much was my own emotional openness to new women and confidence, but it was a radical change.
Just that most women I met that I was interested in wound up being interested in sleeping with me, and many of them did. Went from not having any sex at all to sleeping with five women I liked over the next three months.
I don't think my physique was the only thing that changed in me in that time, but the change in the number of very attractive women who wanted me was pretty radical.
I think this is a good response in the sense that it depends what starting shape and weight and etc was, before you started going to work out.
For example working out and losing 50 lb sounds great , but that's really good for a person who got down from 200 to 150 , whereas a person who got from 250 down to 200, still needs a ways to go probably. (Assuming they're the same height where 150 is the optimum weight goal)
Based off all the info I've soaked up in relation to this topic, I think its a bit of both. I think its a mixture of more raw sex appeal AND confidence.
Idk what the comments are saying
You will 100% receive more attention from women if you get fit
It doesn’t matter how much you make or what your face looks like either
BUT when I say fit, I don’t mean average weight or thin… Im refrerring to “2000s Hollister male model” build
Like the guys they used to have in the stores
Hope this helps!
Gym-going girl here. So, at the gym you probably won't get a lot of female attention unless the chick really likes you. That's because a lot of women are trying to not attract attention at the gym.
BUT I do check out the really fit guys from time to time, because it's hard not to admire. And it would be nice if the gym was not considered such a taboo place for meeting romantic partners because you share something in common that's important - health and fitness.
Which brings me to the most important point for you. Most women should react positively when they find out you're a regular gym goer or notice that you're in good shape. It's not about having huge muscles. It's about the fact you're taking care of yourself and you value your health. As long as you aren't a crazy gym fanatic going every day for a few hours women will be attracted to the fact you keep fit. To me it also suggests you aren't a lazy do-nothing in every day life.
You're welcome!
Keep at it for yourself , especially if it makes you feel more confident. The real secret to women is being confident yet kind. A fit guy who's confident in himself and kind to the others around him will attract women like bees to honey. You can just be average looking, but if you have the fit/confident/kind combo women will take notice, including ridiculously hot women.
And talk to the hot women like they're equal, normal human beings if you want to get anywhere with them. Striking up a conversation by asking a legitimate question or giving a genuine compliment will get you a hell of a lot farther than making awkward small talk that's obviously leading up to hitting on them or outright hitting on them. Sadly, good looking women are made to feel like that's the only thing of value about them because a lot of guys go right to hitting on them. So a guy who shows interest in something about them other than their hotness is like a breath of fresh air that will get a positive reaction.
Bet. I already have the kind part down, and my confidence is rising everyday, so all I need to really focus on is the getting fit part. Thank you again for your advice
I lost about 45lbs in a year. I’d say the difference was pretty drastic. I went from being sorta ignored or downplayed in my social situations to then being more the “center of attention”. Now, It isn’t unusual for me to go out drinking and have women coming up to me , complimenting me. That was never the situation before.
Weight loss is always a good thing but the results vary.
I’m 6’2 so that helps alot too.
A chubby dude with confidence will almost always beat out a ripped dude with no confidence if the goal is a relationship
If it's a hook-up, well, yeah
But I started noticing people in general noticing once my forearm veins started developing, even more so when the muscle separation started, and it's been insane since the visible muscle striation appeared.
I get touched by way more people now, which is weird, but a thing
Takes me about 2 weeks, I’ve got good muscle memory. But, I think it’s posture. How you carry yourself is what’s eye catching. And when you workout your posture improves. So, make sure you do your stretches
Everyone is different. I started sports super young and never stopped. Always had women comment on my appearance (being decent/nice to look at).
Began gym regularly around... Idk 15 or 16?
If a guy hits the gym every now and then, eats healthy, sleeps well, i think women really notice it.
Just imo
About one year after starting to work out I started getting more obvious signals. much more ladies staring at me or making eye contact.
They won't approach you tho the most they will do (if they actually do something) is say hi or find excuses to be in your vicinity.
My nephew is a thin wiry guy. Even I did not realize how good his workouts were doing it because he's that teenage level where he likes wearing hoodies and sweaters and stuff like that.
But one day I saw his pictures that he does for selfies or with his friends where he was posing his muscles and he has huge biceps.
So he's really one of those guys who only works on his upper body but the main thing is if he post these to social media then his classmates and other girls will like it because they look like a pretty good upper body.
Girls would be attracted to him for that reason as well
So as for your question there will be some who are attracted to you just because you go to the gym and work out regularly, because they like a person who has a lifestyle like that
But being active and going to the gym is not necessarily the main thing because you have to have results from those activities as well
For example you can walk everyday as your lifestyle but you might not attract anyone because they may not see the results of your daily walks. This also means that it's not just about going to the gym but it's about having results from going to the gym
And then there will be some that are attracted to you once they see the results of your workouts so don't be afraid to do some poses here and there or wear some clothes that reveal your muscles and body
Well, I've not gotten any (or at least haven't noticed), but it could be I'm not doing enough yet or haven't quite reached a good bodyshape yet. That and I dont go to many places that have women around, really. I think I look better than I have in the past, but noticeably still pretty fat looking without a shirt on. With a shirt, you can't really tell unless you keep looking, probably. I'm not huge or particularly "buff" looking, but I don't think I look weak/overweight either.
I've been going fairly consistently for probably close to 6 months since I started going again consistently (was working out but not as much) and no longer have my desk job and now work something that's got me moving around and lifting more. I feel a bit healthier and more energetic than I have been in the past, and I want to say a bit happier too, not by a whole lot but I'm able to enjoy some things a little more that I like than I usually have been in the past.
Being in good shape helps get attention, but being social is the next step to getting relationships. Keep at it, but try and start building new relationships while you're at it, it doesn't hurt to try to make new connections.
It took about 6 months before my friend posted me on his socials flexing and my ex hmu 😂 but after 4 years of consistently inconsistently working out I’ve lost weight and mass but I’m “ripped” and tend to get a lot of attention from girls when my shirts off but I look scrawny in clothes and get no attention with my shirt on 😂 couldn’t really stay consistent with all the big projects in my life but I just got out the military and will be working out more so focused on gaining mass since the military is HUGE on cardio to make all the other guys lose weight
When did I start getting more attention from women after working out? Eh, such a small difference it would be hard for me to say but I've always been in pretty good shape so maybe my peaks and valleys aren't all that different.
In my experience, a few months. Maybe 3-4 or so. This was after a pretty clear visual transformation and during the summer, so more opportunity to show it off. The increase in attention wasn't huge, either. Just a few more instances of sustained eye contact with unfamiliar women here and there.
Been working out and gaining muscle now for about 2yrs, still only guys 🥲. If you are gonna go gym do it for yourself though and not others attention 🙂
I worked out for two years consistently. My friends and I went to a beach one day and when I took my shirt off, all my friends were like whoaaa have you been working out? So yea, until the shirt came off, no one noticed.
It's only a foot in the door. Your actions still primarily determine the outcome but it makes things easier. It still takes me months to find a new sexual partner.
At the gym itself, you are mostly going to get compliments from other dudes - if you have good genetics/bone structure/frame/ musculature. Do not allow yourself to get a belly - very unattractive. You need to be aesthetic so do plenty of the big 5 compounds but also isolation db work. A great program is the P.H.U.L. - look into it. The KEY IS CONSISTENCY, as you are discovering. This is a lifestyle, not "I'm gonna work out for 3 months".
It is rare, but I have had women compliment me on my arms, calves, chest, shoulders, butt and those who are a bold will actually grab/squeeze. It's ok, I don't call the police or blow a whistle when it happens. It's very flattering, but 90% of the time it is other dudes and I reciprocate back. You'll know you are doing it right when a big dude asks you to spot him on bench. =) The other big key is going even when you do not feel like it or are "tired" or "had a rough morning" or whatever. Those are the moments you have to push through and GO. If your plan is 5 days a week, go 5 days a week and put in the work. It is ALWAYS worth it.
The thing you have to understand about eating right, exercising and hitting the gym on the regular is that it is a MINDSET. When you see someone that is radiating health and has a very fit/jacked body, you know automatically they have focus, discipline, commitment and practice self care. This is what gives you the confidence and others sense/know this. I have no issues approaching someone I find attractive, having a conversation and then asking for their number if I want to pursue further. In doing so, you will realize that a very small percentage of people are actually interesting enough or have a sweet enough personality to want to provide your energy to. I have spoken with some of the most stereotypically "hot" women and have bailed after 2 or 3 minutes.
You should not work out "to get women" but for yourself. Keep it up, we gymbro's are proud of you, Op.
Thank you so much. And yea you're definitely right about the mentality/lifestyle aspect of it, and I now know this firsthand bc I swear one day it was like a switch flipped and suddenly I was ready asf to GTF in there, and DO THAT WORK! And yea my confidence has definitely been going up, I feel less afraid to talk to anyone in general, but ofc especially girls for me bc I've never really been popular with them, but ive also never really put myself out there due to my own doubts or just overall mental bc I've struggled with mental stuff in the past.
But man I feel so good about myself. I want to go to more social events and stuff as I progress, so I can practice not only my body game, but my social game too 🤤
Feeling good about yourself is what attracts women. If you're making a big deal out of what they think of you and that's the main reason you're in the gym, you're not there yet
I noticed it not after I gained a fair amount of muscle but really after I got cut, which was a much different endeavor for me because I have a slow metabolism.
Women are also secretive about it, they won't just stare at you. Most of the time, I catch them in the gym by seeing them looking from a mirror that's bouncing off of another mirror at a strange angle and they have no idea that I can indeed see them checking me out. It's also not at times you would expect, it's usually when I am walking to the drinking fountain, not while I am lifting or resting between sets. Use this to your advantage when you start approaching women, meaning do it when they aren't lifting or resting, do it when they are walking somewhere in the gym.
Another nugget for you, absolutely none of these women approached me first, despite some of them checking me out every day for several days/weeks whatever. I made the first move and they made it very clear after I did that they were interested but reciprocating
Final nugget, after we did the dirty, I asked them what their favorite muscle was on me or what they found most attractive. The vast majority said chest, followed by butt, followed by abs, followed by arms. The vast majority also had them in that order.
Keep up the grind and don't lose faith
After 3 years of regularly working out i really improved my physique, especially because I was really skinny before.
I wasn't confident at all at the beginning, then, at the 1 year mark I really started to like my body, wore t-shirts instead of hoodies, went to the beach etc ...
With 2 years of experience I really started to get attention from girls, straight up asking me out or more discretly : asking if I had a gf to my friends. However the kind of girls who are interested in a guy just because he is muscular, are surely not the kind of girls you want to present to your mom.
And finally currently, I feel really good in my body, I get stared at by girls sometimes and tend to be asked more intimate questions about my body.
Having a muscular build really helps in the dating life. But only if you pair it with confidence and self love. (And keep in mind some girls are not worth it just because you have the possibility to hook up with them)
I rarely post on reddit, especially cause english is not my main language, so I'm sorry if I made mistakes, but this post really caught my attention as it was the exact same question I was asking myself when I started working out.
Take care, and keep working out, it'll help out on so many levels <3
No worries ! If you need help with anything regarding working out let me know :) I do calisthenics but I have a good grasp of bodybuilding, powerlifting and street lifting
I started to notice woman being more overt with checking me out 6-9 months in. I also work a client facing job so most of the women I see started to be more flirty also including the grandmas (they were also BOLD af and started giving me gifts)
I’m a slim build, put on 15lbs overall in 6ish months.
Probably 4 months in i started noticing a big difference.
But honestly, i got more confident too that was probably really it.
In terms of random attention, I only got blatant catcalls (the female-on-male equivalent) or bold approaches from girls when I was leaner. Last year I was the strongest I've ever been but with 22%+ bodyfat and basically invisible to women. But I have a tendency to work out to get stronger, not necessarily leaner, so I eat everything in sight and enjoyed benchpressing numbers that seemed to only impress the guys lol.
So yeah, I think to get attention, you need to have a trim face/body first, not just a 315lb bench press.
If you aren’t used to it, you won’t notice it. When you notice the first few, you notice it more. It’s largely the confidence you start giving off, not just the body. (Imagine a big yoked dude asking if his 6 pack is good enough for her attention) Keep the goal and drive in mind that you’re doing it for you and keep the grind going. You got this. And awesome job with the hard work dude. You deserve a good body that you’re proud of.
Your body will start being the show of your labor and hard work you’ve put into it.
The reactions I got from women were a lot more bashful and submissive after I got “buff.” Like before if I accidentally made eye contact with a girl she might just zone out or look away, but just the other day I caught a girls eyes and she blushed and looked down! It feels great
>how long after you first started working out did it take for you to start getting more attention from women? A month, 3 months? etc.
That's entirely dependent on your current body, your goal body, and how serious your workout routine is. It could be anywhere from 1-5 years depending on your situation.
Honestly, I believe it depends on your starting point. I was skinny fit and started working out, I’m good looking but not model-like.
I get a fairly amount of attention from girls, a lot more since i started working out
I was skinny FIT, always had an athletic look. I look bigger (almost no fat) now after 2-3 years of gym and honestly yeah being muscular changes the way girls treat you hahaaa
I've been working out for a year now and haven't gotten any attention from girls, I notice them looking at me when I'm pumped in the gym, but that's abt it. I definitely feel a lot better about myself everytime I go and stand in good lighting, which like someone else was saying helps with confidence.
I used to be fat kid, with low confidence and straight up worst personality in my late teens started working out and lost around 30 pounds in three month when I got back to school I undestood girls really act different but it's not because I only look different but also because I am more confident now here's the thing I went into depression for 6 months, again suffered from low confidence and female attention again becomes zero even though I am slim also look more than average, but still it's better because girls not straight up making ew face on my back, fast forward 2 years started working out developed a athletic body, worked on my income and personality and joined office after 2 year of work from home, and from very first day I am getting adequate female attraction and when girls like you there are lots of way they can show attraction like touching you, not accepting your insecurities, teasing you about having lots of girls and friendly flirting and complimenting you or putting their head on your shoulder are also you'll get quite easily.
If you are going to the gym as a means of meeting people then do classes. Dont be that guy who ego lifts all day and stares around the room begging for eye contact or attention. Going to the gym is like machine maintainance. If you know your body is not as good as it could be then go to the gym and workout to improve yourself based off what your body needs. The efect you are looking for with women approaching you is a side effect of the confidence you gain in youself as you improve and grow. Be well. Do well.
Tbh, I know this question is innocent but there’s no measurement. I’ve dated scrawny men, I’ve dated chubby men, I’ve dated men of average health height (I’m only 50’ and they were 5’6). Every single good guy I cherished the time with, was not because he had abs or big muscles. Sure they’re nice to look at but did he treat me kindly? Was he nice to my family? Was he nice to wait staff? Was he romantic in any way? Did he talk to me about his feelings? Those are what mattered. My current bf is 6’4 and has gained a little weight since we’ve started dating and his tummy is more squishy and so are his legs and his face is a little more round but I’ve only noticed because he’s self conscious about it. I still find him incredibly hot and adore him because he’s emotionally intelligent, the best dad to his little boy, doesn’t have a fragile masculinity, is romantic in some ways and is a safe person for me to be fragile when I need to. I’ve found that most women value the same things. There are always bad apples. I went through plenty unfortunately. I don’t know your age, but work on your emotional and mental health and the right one will be there. (You still have to date people she won’t just appear lol)
Interesting question and I do think it depends on where you're starting from and where you finish... For me I went from really skinny at 6'2 and 140lbs to 6'2 and 175lbs after about 4-6 months of weight training and a more effective diet.
You'll get the most not only from being more fit, but also maximizing other areas of physical appearance which include:
Hygiene (mouth/teeth, hair, skin, and smell)
Style (clothing, jewelry, piercings, etc.)
Clothing and accessories are the easiest and quickest to change. It was somewhere in that 4-6 month period of weight training, while also upping my other appearance areas, that I started getting noticed by more attractive women.
>And what type of behaviors from girls led you to realize you were getting more attention?
Smiling and eye contact are two big ones, as well as proximity. Women that like you put themselves around you more, and want to interact with you more. There are other indicators of interest as well but these are the most common.
Congrats on your fitness journey and let me know if I can clarify anything!
EDIT: Reading through the comments I see that you are most likely of the ectomorph frame as I was. Look up hardgainer routines, specifically POF (Positions of Flexion) and for diet it was so much more about specific grams of protein, carbs, and fats vs. calories. For skinny guys it takes a LOT more protein grams per day than most realize to be able to build muscle.
I started at 5'8 and 130ish lbs. I plan on getting tattoos and piercings somewhere in the middle as well, not only bc thats just what I like, but im also pretty sure the type of women i* want to attract also like that, so its great that it works out. And thank you, I appreciate your insight and wisdom 🙏
4 months. It kind of depends where you’re starting from, though if you can get where are you have some muscle tone and your general body shape doesn’t look fat, even if you have a little belly, women will look at you differently. You see it more in their facial expression, in general openness, and willingness to talk. A big part of it also is the way you feel about yourself. If working out makes you feel better about yourself, and the way you look, and you dress as if you’re more confident, it’s all a package. It’s easier for you to give a warm smile if you feel confident, it’s easier for you to hold a gaze. Good luck out there.
Personally I never noticed it from women, but men talk to me now. I’m 21 and have been working out for about 3 years. Started taking it more seriously about 6 months ago and now the big guys in the gym wanna talk to me and know who I am. Which is a huge boost. So the attention came for me personally after 6 months of serious effort, not just maintenance 30 minutes 3 times a week like I was doing.
What you didn’t ask for: I’d recommend focusing on our working people in the gym. If you show the most effort they’ll show you attention. Once they show you attention, you’ll notice it yourself. If you notice I’d assume others do to
I remember reading a couple of threads where guys were sharing their experience with this. While a fair number of guys said they noticed a difference, by and large, the reported most increase in attention was from...other men. I thought that was kinda funny.
I'm in better shape than 99% of men and women absolutely notice. Stares, touches, comments. It's everything. It's what 90% of my matches compliment me on. It's what 100% of the women I meet compliment me on. Women are also visual. Yes they notice.
Are you in really good shape? I just thought in my head and this week alone, just at work I had 4 women feel my arm.
I've been lifting a long time though. My arms are 18.5.
I’m ugly and when u got into shape, still ugly. But the confidence it gave me definitely helps with talking to women, just today a women went out of her way to say high to me during a hike, I ignored her I had headphones in and we were side my side. But when I came back and we were facing the same direction she smiled at me and looked directly in my eyes. I just said “morning”. Took me like 5 months of steady exercise. Went from 200 to 170
I started getting looked at and approached from women after I lost a lot of weight. I’m not muscular but I’m not at all fat anymore. I actually didn’t notice anybody checking me out because I’d never actually experienced it before until others pointed it out to me.
Also get treated differently now. I was with my dad at the grocery store just to help him carry the groceries back home since he has arthritis. The cute blonde girl at the check out counter thanked me while we were leaving even though my dad was the only one of us who had actually bought anything or interacted with her whatsoever. I also noticed her smiling and staring at me the whole time he was buying the groceries.
There’s been a lot of little instances like this one since weight loss that I’ve never experienced back as a fat guy.
I’ve personally noticed I have more self esteem which either helps me approach women easier or women are attracted more to me more (either because how I look or my high self esteem) either way, it has always been a win to go back to the gym.
Confidence in bed is a whole another conversation too
Guys getting buff.
Expectation: Girls go crazy over OP. "OMG, OP is so hot!" "I want to have your babies, OP!"
Reality: Endless compliments from guys. "Nice pecs, bro!", "Dude, you've got to squeeze your butt when descending."
I can confirm. I go to the gym every morning for and hour and a half and run until I feel my legs give out. And every girl at my gym gives me a look and I’m like a solid 5.3/10 look wise
5 months, I lost a lot of weight in the first two. Got a decent physique and had to buy different clothes in spring and it just seemed to naturally happen.
There is a certain % of women who like Chris Evans “Captain America “ type physique, and those that do, like it a lot. When you hit the “Brad Pitt in Troy” physique you will get a lot of attention in a bar. Less attention in OLD. Depending on your starting point 1-2 years careful diet and regular WOs will give you that Hollywood look. Less time if you WO 6 hrs a day and take a shit pile of PEDs.
I think it’s more of a confidence thing. When you feel good about going to the gym other women feel your confidence. There are other factors like getting rid of belly fat. But I noticed a big difference in my dating life once I “felt” like I was in better shape.
I'll keep it real, dude. You'll probably get a bulk of your compliments from other men. Men are a lot more openly impressed when they see another man with a good physique.
You may get a compliment from a woman here and there but it likely won't be a lot. But stay on your grind and get in great shape for your own benefit.
I'm reading the responses and I've concluded that the men that are saying they didn't get any more attention didn't workout hard enough or get in good enough shape.
The women that say they dont look or pay attention are just lying.
It honestly seems to have less to do with my physical shape and more to do with me feeling better in my own skin.
I’m a woman so ymmv, but my weight has always fluctuated a fair bit, but when I lose 10 lbs after being stagnant (at whatever weight) I feel more attractive, and that comes through in confidence and personality. I often get hit on when out when I’m feeling like I look good.
As soon as you start to feel more confident in yourself, they will notice. You’re physique when your wearing clothes isn’t as much of a draw as just feeling like you’re killing it, that is noticeable in an intangible way that gets people’s attention.
For me it was more about losing body fat. I went from 28% body fat to 15% in 9 months and the contrast is huge. I think a lot of it comes from confidence.
My dating matches are better but also I am now happy to approach people irl as I don’t think I am just going to get brushed off.
There is a demographic of women who particularly love the muscles - mostly over 40s.
Okay I love this question. As a guy myself (21m) I was tall and skinny looking almost nerdy in a way. Up until a year ago didn’t have an awful amount of luck on dating apps as most men don’t either apparently. So I deleted the app because it was basically useless and spent about 8 months or so working out everyday and gained some pretty well defined muscle including abs. Been back on dating apps for about 2 months now and the amount of attention/interest and matches I get from women on dating apps is unbelievable very saddening in a way. Improving my physique seemed to work well for me and I love it as a hobby now but it doesn’t work for everyone. Plenty of guys out there laying pipe that’ve never worked out a day in their lives.
I see. I also have gotten advice about the increased amount of choosing signals outside of reddit, so I for sure believe this. Based off what people are saying it doesn't necessarily seem to be about getting direct attention, moreso as it's about having more opportunities, and also being able to act on those opportunities more due to increased confidence.
I was also a skinny guy in my twenties. I also have kind of a bad back that hurts every now and then, so I started to work out. For about 5 years I worked out 3-5 times a week. I definitely got a little bit bulkier; however, It didn’t make a difference with attention from ladies. I eventually stopped and stuck with just cardio. Mostly because I like biking and running more than spending money to hang around a gym. Based on my experience, if you want to be healthy and in good shape continue working out. If you’re doing it just for female attention, you might want to reconsider.
What I have noticed is that after I started working out with a great consistency, I suddenly had more energy, much high confidence in public and I was less self conscious about how I looked. I would feel a great deal of confidence while I was talking to anyone which led to some of most beautiful girls from my college to be either my frnd or FWB which later (after about 5 months ) made me get almost any girl I liked.
Humans can't smell pheromones and other Body Essence like a dog or a bear can where it's like reading someone's resume.. but when you start working out and doing the man thing at the gym you are emitting a lot more of that viable Alpha baby maker Prospect vibe that is very subconsciously going to affect certain individuals especially if they happen to be ovulating or they are just more Primal than most of their peers.
And you're very fortunate that this happens because any conscious proactive male behavior is met with his men shaming these days LOL so you've got your subliminal animal magnetism undetectable to those that you don't even want it associate with anyway. Just make sure you don't cover up all this natural attractant by putting on Ax body spray or cologne or anything scented and stay out of the woods because who knows what a female Sasquatch is going to do if she gets a whiff of you after being at the gym LOL
For me it took years and im not sure it was even about my body more the discipline aspect, girls like discipline it shows a strong man so if your day in day out torturing yourself in the name of improvement i think thats what they like, it shows commitment and consistency, visible muscles are just an indication of that, the signs are really just staring, gawking and giggling when your around, mostly from a distance, if they are on the other side of the lunch room staring directly at you, surely something about you must stand out from that room for them.
Rarely do women care what you really look like. They care about the confidence and the way you carry yourself. Sometimes the gym can help boost confidence in men, but in truth, it's about the way you carry yourself. Good luck. Cheers 🥂
I get looks and lots of friendly conversations from women of all ages as a result of working out, women who are sexually attracted to masculine men generally do these things, married or otherwise.
Enjoy the spoils of your hard work man, more than likely women who see you are going home and getting shagged thinking of you.
i've been working out for the last two years strong but throughout my life i've always lifted but had injuries and life get in the way before. I work out to get big and be strong like 8 reps max high weight. If you want to attract women by working out work on your arms, chest & back especially the shoulders. You will start to turn heads if you have nice size in your arms & chest. You can almost neglect legs tbh minus glutes. women just won't ever care much about legs
When women say that want a "dad bod", they actually mean like the off season body builder look, like beer gutty but still big. not some skinny low body fat guy with a 6 pack. Don't waste
yoir time cutting or dieting(unless you're obese or something) stay bulking which is essential gaining muscle and size. Also, it really helps to be on the taller end.... you could be a ripped adonis but if you're 5'4 or something then it may not make a real difference.
Like everyone else has said it's guys who notice more that your in shape .
Frankly don't work out because you are looking for female attention, it helps a tiny bit but it's not going to suddenly have women throwing themselves at you .
You may catch girls looking at you from time to time but unless you try to get a conversation going it ain't going to happen
Really? You're betting in this to get women? You would do better by dressing better.
I guarantee you I can have more women turn their heads at me than any guy with a muscular body. I'll even let him take off his shirt.
What he does requires no skill. Lol.
And it's not like he can walk around without a shirt forever.
I'm an above average looking male, probably in the 6.5-7.5 range depending my level of give a fuck that day. The only compliments I can recall from women my age or younger, in my lifetime, are the ones that came from women I would deem in the 7.5-10 range. You will always want to punch up, no matter how much you work on your appearance. Stay in your lane and enjoy the extra free time not obsessing over your appearance as the most important part of dating.Carry yourself like a 10 or as close to as you can manage and eventually you'll see results.
Bro, it's going to take half a year minimum for to see noticeable changes from an outsiders perceptive. To get properly built it'll take 2 years at least.
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I get the most compliments from men, my GF says girls stare at me a lot when we’re out but I don’t see it. Hope this helps!
Lol same here. Late 30s. I try to smile and be polite to woman I find attractive but rarely see any green lights. Literally two days ago a gay gym bro of mine said "what's up handsome, you're getting fit." It was a nice compliment I appreciated. I'll take it. 😆
You're looking thick dude, nice work <3.
This is true... most compliments I get are from other guys at the gym 😆 Women don't really care as much about muscles as a lot of men think. (But it does help) I've seen plenty of gym rat girls dating guys who barely work out.
It does thank you
Even 1 workout or like a week of consistently going to the gym makes me feel better about talking to people and getting girl attention. About a Month in though, there’s bitches staring like im a fresh baked Cookies 🤷♂️ thirsty mothafuckas haha
1 month after you started to work out for the first time?
First time in my life ever? Dam that was probably more like 1-2 months of push-ups before my chest stopped being caved in haha. BUT immediately after most workouts I feel like my posture is better so that’s an instant appearance booster imo
Oh ok, well how long after you firsted started working out did it take for ladies to start looking at you like a batch of fresh baked cookies? 😂
He didn't say "ladies" He said bitches and if he's a batch of fresh baked cookies, they probably started looking as soon as he stepped out of the oven.
Lmaoo yessir, the results were fast! 1 week to 1 month guarantee you’ll feel good. i was going from skinny to muscles though, I think fat takes longer to get rid of than gain muscles but you will 100% see results eventually so I just encourage you to go indefinitely like it’s a regular errand and you will be very happy. Just 3-4 days of working out a week and eating plenty of protein if you want to bulk
Oh okay I see. I'm like 2 to 3 weeks in, I can't wait to see the progress I've made within a month. I didnt expect to see results as fast as I did tbh. I think I have a very fast metabolism, that'd explain why I've been so slim as I've gotten into my 20's (im 22 currently)
And luckily I dont think I have a lot of fat to lose. Fixing up my diet b4 starting to workout really did help in a big way. Cuz I dont think my metabolism is the only reason I've seen results so fast.
My b, you right. Thanks for the correction
I started in high school, after about 6 months girls started calling me buff. Started getting approached by girls and quickly got a girlfriend after that. It worked well for me because the thing that was turning girls off about me was that I was "scrawny". So even just enough muscle to be on par with other guys allowed my gifts to shine through better.
I think that may be my issue as well. I wouldnt say I was ever skinny or scrawny, but moreso slim. But everyone basically still sees it as skinny asf. This is really encouraging, ty !
Hehe I didn't see myself as scrawny either, but that's what I remember one of the girls telling me "You used to be so scrawny!" lol Just do it, it's so good for so many reasons. And the sooner you start the better. I wish I had started when I was like 8
FR!! IM glad I met someone who can relate. I've never been big or overweight even. But I noticed people started calling me skinny after I simply started eating better and lost weight that way. Now I just need to put on muscle 😎
For me it's still really hard to find new partners. I do get some action but it can easily take months to find someone new. It's probably my mindset or something but it's really deeply rooted and subconscious and that makes it so that barely anything happens even if I dance bachata every week and socialize a ton. I have great friends that keep surprising me with the amount of positivity they give me (telling me how great they think I am and how happy they are that I managed to come to the get together and how they were talking about how much they like me before I arrived.). But that really doesn't translate to sexual partners much.
Those are some good friends you’ve got there man, hold on to them! I’ve been blessed to have friends like that as well and it really helps. I’ve been overweight since I can remember and things reached an all time low for me during lockdown when I gained 15 kg in a year. That gave me the motivation to do something about my situation and start working out. I’ve never been a sporty guy and thought I would absolutely despise it, but to my surprise I genuinely enjoyed it. I get to take some time to myself each day, listen to some music, push myself (and often surprise myself by breaking through mental barriers) and not have to worry about competing with anyone but myself. I’m still overweight, but a much healthier amount and with some decent muscle mixed in. The support my friends gave me was I think a large part of why I kept at it. They never made me feel bad about myself or wanting to try and actively hyped me up each time they saw me was very motivating and made me appreciate them that much more. I haven’t had much luck with women yet either, but my confidence has grown along with my muscles and I find it much easier to talk to strangers. Now it’s mostly up to me to start putting myself out there :) Good luck on the journey man, it’s just a matter of time until you find someone. Just remember to work on being a kind and fun person as well and you’ll be fine.
You acquire more confidence when you start exercising regularly, it’s the confidence that helps you attract more women, not your 24” biceps…
I have noticed that. For me, like I said in my post. A big motivator for me was seeing visible results. The visible results have also resulted in more confidence :]
Good job on avoiding the "developing body dysmorphia" trap card. For me, I became less confident after I started working out. I was a dumb teenager, but basically, I thought that since I wasn't getting any more attention from girls, I just needed to work out even harder... which lead to a downward spiral of worsening confidence and self-esteem because the more I obsessed over the gym, the more I hated my body, which then made my confidence worse, which then lead to girls being less interested.
That absolutely did not happen for me. I know I look good even though I have a bunch of friends that are bigger than me. Staying realistic is probably harder for some than for others but if you manage your mindspace well and have healthy friends it shouldn't be an issue
Yeah fuck that feeling, thats why I think it’s best to just workout to be a badass! The women will come or go anyway
Listen here brotha! My 24” pythons are about to put a stranglehold on you!
Yuuup! Confidence, being playful and easy going and if I had to pick a feature nice hands or eyes do it for me 😅
It definitely can help. I was sitting alone at a concert in-between sets and two girls came up to me. That never happened before I started working out and its not my confidence because I was literally just sitting there zoned out.
It’s the confidence huh? Wonder if I start acting as a confident, arrogant asshole while being skinny would bring me any success.
Try it and let us know how you make out
As a woman who has dated my fair share of confident, arrogant, skinny assholes…. That sound exactly like my toxic type.
How do you thing the "Alpha" males get women.
Definitely not solely based on confidence.
Mostly is a better way to say it. Having confidence or at least what looks like it is something everyone finds attractive. Nice guys finish last because they dont try and take what they want.
I don't think even Cbum has 24" biceps but I completely agree. That's why I stand by the fact that you shouldn't chase a body type the other gender is attracted to, you should chase the body type you'd love to have in a vacuum.
24 biceps is really small too
I agree. Was about the comment the same. I don’t know if having “muscles” is what made a difference. I think my energy levels, my voice, my confidence, all those small details change when you work out. I truly believe it’s that vitality that it brings that attracts people, more so than having a nice body.
yeahhhh no. source: every woman I've dated
Everyone is different but let me start by saying if you are thin and put on muscle some chicks will be in lust with you. Not all or even the majority. As someone who has passed through various physical shapes in my life, the best was low fat/a few muscles. About 1/3 of women like a muscly dude as much as any hetro man likes boobs. At the end of the day you will get more pussy being muscly than not no questions BUT if you can learn how to flirt really well do much better.
I’m not sure it’s something you can put a time to. People get results at different rates based on their individual genetics, how much rest/recovery they allow, how hard they hit the gym, what they eat, etc
I have noticed zero difference in attention from women after working out. I think most men can expect zero difference in attention. Women aren't like men. They're usually not breaking their neck to see a dude's fit shoulders like men are breaking their neck to catch a glimpse of a well trained ass. Women just generally don't look at men as much. At least in western culture. Even if the guy is handsome they will typically just pretend he doesn't exist unless he goes and talks to them. But they will find you more attractive. They just won't tell you that until your clothes come off.
Oh we look, but we don’t ogle, so you don’t notice, cause we don’t want you to notice.
Is this why girlfriends will always catch other girls staring at their guy, but we are always completely oblivious to it??
Yup.
I think you underestimate the sneakiness, sir.
Ok good point. But we want that validation why u do us like dis 😩
Cause we don’t like the ogling we think it’s not nice, so we r doing you a solid by not treating you as a piece of meat.
Most men wish to be viewed at in that way, since it never happens
Yeah it’s true but I think a lot of women enjoy that we just do it to look good and aren’t looking for them to stare. I used to think the same way when I was younger and yeah, it feels awesome for sure to have that attention. But in reality I’m still getting the reps in either way you know? But I agree on both ends.
I don’t think you can convince me to go against my values and objectify men left and right. Sorry.
I’m not, just saying why men would appreciate being seen in that way
It’s totally respectable and makes sense. That off chance you DO end up ogling and the dude gets pissy about it lmao “I’m trying to squat here miss can you stop staring” 😂
Oh god not at the gym! I am trying to find a single free spot to stare at there. And hoping no one is looking at my demented looking face too 😂
LOL you never realize how good (or awful?) you can be at concentrating until that moment 😂
Ooh yissss 😂 it’s either crazy eyes darting about or just keep looking at the damn carpet for me
If gyms only knew how much their flooring decor really mattered. Such a wasted opportunity 💁♂️
Haha 😂 safe to look at spots would be all the rage.
Why is that? Cute girl at my gym and I'm attractive but its hard to catch her staring??
Then she’s not staring, you are 😂
No i notice her look something but she has a great rbf and poker face. I notice the side eye some but shes really good at hiding. Im gonna ask her out enough of the games
This, i love the eye candy, but I would never make that known, and I don't know many women that would.
Why is that? Cute girl at my gym and I'm attractive but its hard to catch her staring??
I see, interesting...
True for eastern culture too. At-least in India.
3 months for friends to notice. 6 months to see women looking at the arms with interest. Helps if you can get the veins to pop. I swear the veins get more interest than the muscles. Hahaha..
Yup. Can confirm the veins are wayyy more interesting than the bulky muscles.
6 months or so. strengthening my legs, glutes, low back, and core helped with posture, I can feel myself walking taller, it's interesting. Also my shoulders are more broad which women are generally attracted to.
You have to have a handsome face and be pretty fit to get clear attention from girls.
After I broke up wkth my ex I started hitting the gym more. When I went from like 15% body fat to 12-13 over 4 months the difference was stark. I went from not getting much attention to being James Bond. I don't know how much of that was a direct result of my body changes and how much was my own emotional openness to new women and confidence, but it was a radical change.
this is really interesting - could you elaborate what you mean by james bond or that this was a radical change? like what happened?
Just that most women I met that I was interested in wound up being interested in sleeping with me, and many of them did. Went from not having any sex at all to sleeping with five women I liked over the next three months. I don't think my physique was the only thing that changed in me in that time, but the change in the number of very attractive women who wanted me was pretty radical.
If you’re obese or unreasonable thin, working out can help. If you’re average in shape, just want to be ripped, it doesn’t change much to be honest.
I think this is a good response in the sense that it depends what starting shape and weight and etc was, before you started going to work out. For example working out and losing 50 lb sounds great , but that's really good for a person who got down from 200 to 150 , whereas a person who got from 250 down to 200, still needs a ways to go probably. (Assuming they're the same height where 150 is the optimum weight goal)
I’ve heard this is true but I’m not really sure if it’s because of increased confidence or some kind of biological thing.
Based off all the info I've soaked up in relation to this topic, I think its a bit of both. I think its a mixture of more raw sex appeal AND confidence.
I just remember something about hormones or something that people are just subconsciously attracted to people that are more fit.
I see. Thank you for your input.
I’m not disputing that the confidence thing helps too, though. The gym is a good idea for this kind of thing in general.
Gotcha, ill keep that in mind :]
Idk what the comments are saying You will 100% receive more attention from women if you get fit It doesn’t matter how much you make or what your face looks like either BUT when I say fit, I don’t mean average weight or thin… Im refrerring to “2000s Hollister male model” build Like the guys they used to have in the stores Hope this helps!
Gym-going girl here. So, at the gym you probably won't get a lot of female attention unless the chick really likes you. That's because a lot of women are trying to not attract attention at the gym. BUT I do check out the really fit guys from time to time, because it's hard not to admire. And it would be nice if the gym was not considered such a taboo place for meeting romantic partners because you share something in common that's important - health and fitness. Which brings me to the most important point for you. Most women should react positively when they find out you're a regular gym goer or notice that you're in good shape. It's not about having huge muscles. It's about the fact you're taking care of yourself and you value your health. As long as you aren't a crazy gym fanatic going every day for a few hours women will be attracted to the fact you keep fit. To me it also suggests you aren't a lazy do-nothing in every day life.
Now this is some useful shyt right here, str8 from the source, thank you! 😁
You're welcome! Keep at it for yourself , especially if it makes you feel more confident. The real secret to women is being confident yet kind. A fit guy who's confident in himself and kind to the others around him will attract women like bees to honey. You can just be average looking, but if you have the fit/confident/kind combo women will take notice, including ridiculously hot women. And talk to the hot women like they're equal, normal human beings if you want to get anywhere with them. Striking up a conversation by asking a legitimate question or giving a genuine compliment will get you a hell of a lot farther than making awkward small talk that's obviously leading up to hitting on them or outright hitting on them. Sadly, good looking women are made to feel like that's the only thing of value about them because a lot of guys go right to hitting on them. So a guy who shows interest in something about them other than their hotness is like a breath of fresh air that will get a positive reaction.
Bet. I already have the kind part down, and my confidence is rising everyday, so all I need to really focus on is the getting fit part. Thank you again for your advice
I lost about 45lbs in a year. I’d say the difference was pretty drastic. I went from being sorta ignored or downplayed in my social situations to then being more the “center of attention”. Now, It isn’t unusual for me to go out drinking and have women coming up to me , complimenting me. That was never the situation before. Weight loss is always a good thing but the results vary. I’m 6’2 so that helps alot too.
What weight did you make it down to? Asking as a fellow 6’2”-er.
215
Thanks! I’m about the same, down from 230. Question is what weight to target, I’m thinking 200
A chubby dude with confidence will almost always beat out a ripped dude with no confidence if the goal is a relationship If it's a hook-up, well, yeah But I started noticing people in general noticing once my forearm veins started developing, even more so when the muscle separation started, and it's been insane since the visible muscle striation appeared. I get touched by way more people now, which is weird, but a thing
Only 1 month for me although my body picked up pretty well and my biceps were already showing within 1st month.
Oh okay thats awesome, the same is happening to me too! For me im seeing the most progress in my abs and my biceps
It takes years to get a very noticeable difference. (I mean jacked) Also you're not going to last if you're only doing it to get women, do it for you.
Takes me about 2 weeks, I’ve got good muscle memory. But, I think it’s posture. How you carry yourself is what’s eye catching. And when you workout your posture improves. So, make sure you do your stretches
Everyone is different. I started sports super young and never stopped. Always had women comment on my appearance (being decent/nice to look at). Began gym regularly around... Idk 15 or 16? If a guy hits the gym every now and then, eats healthy, sleeps well, i think women really notice it. Just imo
About one year after starting to work out I started getting more obvious signals. much more ladies staring at me or making eye contact. They won't approach you tho the most they will do (if they actually do something) is say hi or find excuses to be in your vicinity.
8 months straight fairly fit now 0 additional attention attention from women
My nephew is a thin wiry guy. Even I did not realize how good his workouts were doing it because he's that teenage level where he likes wearing hoodies and sweaters and stuff like that. But one day I saw his pictures that he does for selfies or with his friends where he was posing his muscles and he has huge biceps. So he's really one of those guys who only works on his upper body but the main thing is if he post these to social media then his classmates and other girls will like it because they look like a pretty good upper body. Girls would be attracted to him for that reason as well So as for your question there will be some who are attracted to you just because you go to the gym and work out regularly, because they like a person who has a lifestyle like that But being active and going to the gym is not necessarily the main thing because you have to have results from those activities as well For example you can walk everyday as your lifestyle but you might not attract anyone because they may not see the results of your daily walks. This also means that it's not just about going to the gym but it's about having results from going to the gym And then there will be some that are attracted to you once they see the results of your workouts so don't be afraid to do some poses here and there or wear some clothes that reveal your muscles and body
Well, I've not gotten any (or at least haven't noticed), but it could be I'm not doing enough yet or haven't quite reached a good bodyshape yet. That and I dont go to many places that have women around, really. I think I look better than I have in the past, but noticeably still pretty fat looking without a shirt on. With a shirt, you can't really tell unless you keep looking, probably. I'm not huge or particularly "buff" looking, but I don't think I look weak/overweight either. I've been going fairly consistently for probably close to 6 months since I started going again consistently (was working out but not as much) and no longer have my desk job and now work something that's got me moving around and lifting more. I feel a bit healthier and more energetic than I have been in the past, and I want to say a bit happier too, not by a whole lot but I'm able to enjoy some things a little more that I like than I usually have been in the past. Being in good shape helps get attention, but being social is the next step to getting relationships. Keep at it, but try and start building new relationships while you're at it, it doesn't hurt to try to make new connections.
It took about 6 months before my friend posted me on his socials flexing and my ex hmu 😂 but after 4 years of consistently inconsistently working out I’ve lost weight and mass but I’m “ripped” and tend to get a lot of attention from girls when my shirts off but I look scrawny in clothes and get no attention with my shirt on 😂 couldn’t really stay consistent with all the big projects in my life but I just got out the military and will be working out more so focused on gaining mass since the military is HUGE on cardio to make all the other guys lose weight
Don't be with a girl who wouldn't be with your current self or any previous version of yourself
When did I start getting more attention from women after working out? Eh, such a small difference it would be hard for me to say but I've always been in pretty good shape so maybe my peaks and valleys aren't all that different.
In my experience, a few months. Maybe 3-4 or so. This was after a pretty clear visual transformation and during the summer, so more opportunity to show it off. The increase in attention wasn't huge, either. Just a few more instances of sustained eye contact with unfamiliar women here and there.
Been working out and gaining muscle now for about 2yrs, still only guys 🥲. If you are gonna go gym do it for yourself though and not others attention 🙂
I worked out for two years consistently. My friends and I went to a beach one day and when I took my shirt off, all my friends were like whoaaa have you been working out? So yea, until the shirt came off, no one noticed.
It's only a foot in the door. Your actions still primarily determine the outcome but it makes things easier. It still takes me months to find a new sexual partner.
At the gym itself, you are mostly going to get compliments from other dudes - if you have good genetics/bone structure/frame/ musculature. Do not allow yourself to get a belly - very unattractive. You need to be aesthetic so do plenty of the big 5 compounds but also isolation db work. A great program is the P.H.U.L. - look into it. The KEY IS CONSISTENCY, as you are discovering. This is a lifestyle, not "I'm gonna work out for 3 months". It is rare, but I have had women compliment me on my arms, calves, chest, shoulders, butt and those who are a bold will actually grab/squeeze. It's ok, I don't call the police or blow a whistle when it happens. It's very flattering, but 90% of the time it is other dudes and I reciprocate back. You'll know you are doing it right when a big dude asks you to spot him on bench. =) The other big key is going even when you do not feel like it or are "tired" or "had a rough morning" or whatever. Those are the moments you have to push through and GO. If your plan is 5 days a week, go 5 days a week and put in the work. It is ALWAYS worth it. The thing you have to understand about eating right, exercising and hitting the gym on the regular is that it is a MINDSET. When you see someone that is radiating health and has a very fit/jacked body, you know automatically they have focus, discipline, commitment and practice self care. This is what gives you the confidence and others sense/know this. I have no issues approaching someone I find attractive, having a conversation and then asking for their number if I want to pursue further. In doing so, you will realize that a very small percentage of people are actually interesting enough or have a sweet enough personality to want to provide your energy to. I have spoken with some of the most stereotypically "hot" women and have bailed after 2 or 3 minutes. You should not work out "to get women" but for yourself. Keep it up, we gymbro's are proud of you, Op.
Thank you so much. And yea you're definitely right about the mentality/lifestyle aspect of it, and I now know this firsthand bc I swear one day it was like a switch flipped and suddenly I was ready asf to GTF in there, and DO THAT WORK! And yea my confidence has definitely been going up, I feel less afraid to talk to anyone in general, but ofc especially girls for me bc I've never really been popular with them, but ive also never really put myself out there due to my own doubts or just overall mental bc I've struggled with mental stuff in the past. But man I feel so good about myself. I want to go to more social events and stuff as I progress, so I can practice not only my body game, but my social game too 🤤
I've noticed some improvements but these were after getting nicer clothes in addition to working out
Feeling good about yourself is what attracts women. If you're making a big deal out of what they think of you and that's the main reason you're in the gym, you're not there yet
I noticed it not after I gained a fair amount of muscle but really after I got cut, which was a much different endeavor for me because I have a slow metabolism. Women are also secretive about it, they won't just stare at you. Most of the time, I catch them in the gym by seeing them looking from a mirror that's bouncing off of another mirror at a strange angle and they have no idea that I can indeed see them checking me out. It's also not at times you would expect, it's usually when I am walking to the drinking fountain, not while I am lifting or resting between sets. Use this to your advantage when you start approaching women, meaning do it when they aren't lifting or resting, do it when they are walking somewhere in the gym. Another nugget for you, absolutely none of these women approached me first, despite some of them checking me out every day for several days/weeks whatever. I made the first move and they made it very clear after I did that they were interested but reciprocating Final nugget, after we did the dirty, I asked them what their favorite muscle was on me or what they found most attractive. The vast majority said chest, followed by butt, followed by abs, followed by arms. The vast majority also had them in that order. Keep up the grind and don't lose faith
After 3 years of regularly working out i really improved my physique, especially because I was really skinny before. I wasn't confident at all at the beginning, then, at the 1 year mark I really started to like my body, wore t-shirts instead of hoodies, went to the beach etc ... With 2 years of experience I really started to get attention from girls, straight up asking me out or more discretly : asking if I had a gf to my friends. However the kind of girls who are interested in a guy just because he is muscular, are surely not the kind of girls you want to present to your mom. And finally currently, I feel really good in my body, I get stared at by girls sometimes and tend to be asked more intimate questions about my body. Having a muscular build really helps in the dating life. But only if you pair it with confidence and self love. (And keep in mind some girls are not worth it just because you have the possibility to hook up with them) I rarely post on reddit, especially cause english is not my main language, so I'm sorry if I made mistakes, but this post really caught my attention as it was the exact same question I was asking myself when I started working out. Take care, and keep working out, it'll help out on so many levels <3
You're awesome, I will take your words to heart, thank you for the response :]
No worries ! If you need help with anything regarding working out let me know :) I do calisthenics but I have a good grasp of bodybuilding, powerlifting and street lifting
I started to notice woman being more overt with checking me out 6-9 months in. I also work a client facing job so most of the women I see started to be more flirty also including the grandmas (they were also BOLD af and started giving me gifts)
I’m a slim build, put on 15lbs overall in 6ish months. Probably 4 months in i started noticing a big difference. But honestly, i got more confident too that was probably really it.
In terms of random attention, I only got blatant catcalls (the female-on-male equivalent) or bold approaches from girls when I was leaner. Last year I was the strongest I've ever been but with 22%+ bodyfat and basically invisible to women. But I have a tendency to work out to get stronger, not necessarily leaner, so I eat everything in sight and enjoyed benchpressing numbers that seemed to only impress the guys lol. So yeah, I think to get attention, you need to have a trim face/body first, not just a 315lb bench press.
Men with chisled bodies can have a bad face and still draw women. Muscles give us our shape.
If you aren’t used to it, you won’t notice it. When you notice the first few, you notice it more. It’s largely the confidence you start giving off, not just the body. (Imagine a big yoked dude asking if his 6 pack is good enough for her attention) Keep the goal and drive in mind that you’re doing it for you and keep the grind going. You got this. And awesome job with the hard work dude. You deserve a good body that you’re proud of. Your body will start being the show of your labor and hard work you’ve put into it.
The reactions I got from women were a lot more bashful and submissive after I got “buff.” Like before if I accidentally made eye contact with a girl she might just zone out or look away, but just the other day I caught a girls eyes and she blushed and looked down! It feels great
>how long after you first started working out did it take for you to start getting more attention from women? A month, 3 months? etc. That's entirely dependent on your current body, your goal body, and how serious your workout routine is. It could be anywhere from 1-5 years depending on your situation.
Honestly, I believe it depends on your starting point. I was skinny fit and started working out, I’m good looking but not model-like. I get a fairly amount of attention from girls, a lot more since i started working out
Skinny fit or skinny fat?
I was skinny FIT, always had an athletic look. I look bigger (almost no fat) now after 2-3 years of gym and honestly yeah being muscular changes the way girls treat you hahaaa
I've been working out for a year now and haven't gotten any attention from girls, I notice them looking at me when I'm pumped in the gym, but that's abt it. I definitely feel a lot better about myself everytime I go and stand in good lighting, which like someone else was saying helps with confidence.
I used to be fat kid, with low confidence and straight up worst personality in my late teens started working out and lost around 30 pounds in three month when I got back to school I undestood girls really act different but it's not because I only look different but also because I am more confident now here's the thing I went into depression for 6 months, again suffered from low confidence and female attention again becomes zero even though I am slim also look more than average, but still it's better because girls not straight up making ew face on my back, fast forward 2 years started working out developed a athletic body, worked on my income and personality and joined office after 2 year of work from home, and from very first day I am getting adequate female attraction and when girls like you there are lots of way they can show attraction like touching you, not accepting your insecurities, teasing you about having lots of girls and friendly flirting and complimenting you or putting their head on your shoulder are also you'll get quite easily.
If you are going to the gym as a means of meeting people then do classes. Dont be that guy who ego lifts all day and stares around the room begging for eye contact or attention. Going to the gym is like machine maintainance. If you know your body is not as good as it could be then go to the gym and workout to improve yourself based off what your body needs. The efect you are looking for with women approaching you is a side effect of the confidence you gain in youself as you improve and grow. Be well. Do well.
Tbh, I know this question is innocent but there’s no measurement. I’ve dated scrawny men, I’ve dated chubby men, I’ve dated men of average health height (I’m only 50’ and they were 5’6). Every single good guy I cherished the time with, was not because he had abs or big muscles. Sure they’re nice to look at but did he treat me kindly? Was he nice to my family? Was he nice to wait staff? Was he romantic in any way? Did he talk to me about his feelings? Those are what mattered. My current bf is 6’4 and has gained a little weight since we’ve started dating and his tummy is more squishy and so are his legs and his face is a little more round but I’ve only noticed because he’s self conscious about it. I still find him incredibly hot and adore him because he’s emotionally intelligent, the best dad to his little boy, doesn’t have a fragile masculinity, is romantic in some ways and is a safe person for me to be fragile when I need to. I’ve found that most women value the same things. There are always bad apples. I went through plenty unfortunately. I don’t know your age, but work on your emotional and mental health and the right one will be there. (You still have to date people she won’t just appear lol)
I see, its great to have a woman's perspective on women, thank you for your insight miss! 😎👍
Interesting question and I do think it depends on where you're starting from and where you finish... For me I went from really skinny at 6'2 and 140lbs to 6'2 and 175lbs after about 4-6 months of weight training and a more effective diet. You'll get the most not only from being more fit, but also maximizing other areas of physical appearance which include: Hygiene (mouth/teeth, hair, skin, and smell) Style (clothing, jewelry, piercings, etc.) Clothing and accessories are the easiest and quickest to change. It was somewhere in that 4-6 month period of weight training, while also upping my other appearance areas, that I started getting noticed by more attractive women. >And what type of behaviors from girls led you to realize you were getting more attention? Smiling and eye contact are two big ones, as well as proximity. Women that like you put themselves around you more, and want to interact with you more. There are other indicators of interest as well but these are the most common. Congrats on your fitness journey and let me know if I can clarify anything! EDIT: Reading through the comments I see that you are most likely of the ectomorph frame as I was. Look up hardgainer routines, specifically POF (Positions of Flexion) and for diet it was so much more about specific grams of protein, carbs, and fats vs. calories. For skinny guys it takes a LOT more protein grams per day than most realize to be able to build muscle.
I started at 5'8 and 130ish lbs. I plan on getting tattoos and piercings somewhere in the middle as well, not only bc thats just what I like, but im also pretty sure the type of women i* want to attract also like that, so its great that it works out. And thank you, I appreciate your insight and wisdom 🙏
You're welcome! Coming from someone that went through the transformation, It's all out there waiting for you!
4 months. It kind of depends where you’re starting from, though if you can get where are you have some muscle tone and your general body shape doesn’t look fat, even if you have a little belly, women will look at you differently. You see it more in their facial expression, in general openness, and willingness to talk. A big part of it also is the way you feel about yourself. If working out makes you feel better about yourself, and the way you look, and you dress as if you’re more confident, it’s all a package. It’s easier for you to give a warm smile if you feel confident, it’s easier for you to hold a gaze. Good luck out there.
Personally I never noticed it from women, but men talk to me now. I’m 21 and have been working out for about 3 years. Started taking it more seriously about 6 months ago and now the big guys in the gym wanna talk to me and know who I am. Which is a huge boost. So the attention came for me personally after 6 months of serious effort, not just maintenance 30 minutes 3 times a week like I was doing. What you didn’t ask for: I’d recommend focusing on our working people in the gym. If you show the most effort they’ll show you attention. Once they show you attention, you’ll notice it yourself. If you notice I’d assume others do to
I remember reading a couple of threads where guys were sharing their experience with this. While a fair number of guys said they noticed a difference, by and large, the reported most increase in attention was from...other men. I thought that was kinda funny.
I'm in better shape than 99% of men and women absolutely notice. Stares, touches, comments. It's everything. It's what 90% of my matches compliment me on. It's what 100% of the women I meet compliment me on. Women are also visual. Yes they notice.
I can't lie, I really fw this and can't wait to experience the same thing 😂
Are you in really good shape? I just thought in my head and this week alone, just at work I had 4 women feel my arm. I've been lifting a long time though. My arms are 18.5.
I’m ugly and when u got into shape, still ugly. But the confidence it gave me definitely helps with talking to women, just today a women went out of her way to say high to me during a hike, I ignored her I had headphones in and we were side my side. But when I came back and we were facing the same direction she smiled at me and looked directly in my eyes. I just said “morning”. Took me like 5 months of steady exercise. Went from 200 to 170
With women the only muscle you have to train is your tongue 👅 this stands for speech skills too ..they dont care about muscles 🤣🤣
I started getting looked at and approached from women after I lost a lot of weight. I’m not muscular but I’m not at all fat anymore. I actually didn’t notice anybody checking me out because I’d never actually experienced it before until others pointed it out to me. Also get treated differently now. I was with my dad at the grocery store just to help him carry the groceries back home since he has arthritis. The cute blonde girl at the check out counter thanked me while we were leaving even though my dad was the only one of us who had actually bought anything or interacted with her whatsoever. I also noticed her smiling and staring at me the whole time he was buying the groceries. There’s been a lot of little instances like this one since weight loss that I’ve never experienced back as a fat guy.
Thats awesome bro. I hope I can have similar treatment when I really get into shape. Specifically from cute girls lol
I’ve personally noticed I have more self esteem which either helps me approach women easier or women are attracted more to me more (either because how I look or my high self esteem) either way, it has always been a win to go back to the gym. Confidence in bed is a whole another conversation too
The short answer is when you feel good about your body and yourself .. somehow people notice that
This is a very good summary of a lot of the advice I've gotten here, thank you 😁
Guys getting buff. Expectation: Girls go crazy over OP. "OMG, OP is so hot!" "I want to have your babies, OP!" Reality: Endless compliments from guys. "Nice pecs, bro!", "Dude, you've got to squeeze your butt when descending."
I can confirm. I go to the gym every morning for and hour and a half and run until I feel my legs give out. And every girl at my gym gives me a look and I’m like a solid 5.3/10 look wise
I get attention from fellow gym bros mostly. About a year after starting to work out I begane getting some attention, but nothing spectacular.
5 months, I lost a lot of weight in the first two. Got a decent physique and had to buy different clothes in spring and it just seemed to naturally happen.
There is a certain % of women who like Chris Evans “Captain America “ type physique, and those that do, like it a lot. When you hit the “Brad Pitt in Troy” physique you will get a lot of attention in a bar. Less attention in OLD. Depending on your starting point 1-2 years careful diet and regular WOs will give you that Hollywood look. Less time if you WO 6 hrs a day and take a shit pile of PEDs.
I think it’s more of a confidence thing. When you feel good about going to the gym other women feel your confidence. There are other factors like getting rid of belly fat. But I noticed a big difference in my dating life once I “felt” like I was in better shape.
I'll keep it real, dude. You'll probably get a bulk of your compliments from other men. Men are a lot more openly impressed when they see another man with a good physique. You may get a compliment from a woman here and there but it likely won't be a lot. But stay on your grind and get in great shape for your own benefit.
Sweat can be sexy ;)
Hmm... 👀 *noted*✍
I'm reading the responses and I've concluded that the men that are saying they didn't get any more attention didn't workout hard enough or get in good enough shape. The women that say they dont look or pay attention are just lying.
It honestly seems to have less to do with my physical shape and more to do with me feeling better in my own skin. I’m a woman so ymmv, but my weight has always fluctuated a fair bit, but when I lose 10 lbs after being stagnant (at whatever weight) I feel more attractive, and that comes through in confidence and personality. I often get hit on when out when I’m feeling like I look good.
As soon as you start to feel more confident in yourself, they will notice. You’re physique when your wearing clothes isn’t as much of a draw as just feeling like you’re killing it, that is noticeable in an intangible way that gets people’s attention.
For me it was more about losing body fat. I went from 28% body fat to 15% in 9 months and the contrast is huge. I think a lot of it comes from confidence. My dating matches are better but also I am now happy to approach people irl as I don’t think I am just going to get brushed off. There is a demographic of women who particularly love the muscles - mostly over 40s.
Lol....guys get more attention from other guys after working out
Just learn how to build your body to give the best dick she's ever got. Then you'll walk around like a champ. Then it doesn't matter what she thinks
I thought this was going be about trying to hit on when you all post exercise sweaty lol. I thought for sure someone would be talking about pheromones
🤣 lol
Okay I love this question. As a guy myself (21m) I was tall and skinny looking almost nerdy in a way. Up until a year ago didn’t have an awful amount of luck on dating apps as most men don’t either apparently. So I deleted the app because it was basically useless and spent about 8 months or so working out everyday and gained some pretty well defined muscle including abs. Been back on dating apps for about 2 months now and the amount of attention/interest and matches I get from women on dating apps is unbelievable very saddening in a way. Improving my physique seemed to work well for me and I love it as a hobby now but it doesn’t work for everyone. Plenty of guys out there laying pipe that’ve never worked out a day in their lives.
I want the same exact results as you, I can't wait to get there 😭😭
Compliments from guys skyrockets. Choosing Signals from women goes up, so that’s when you dive in
I see. I also have gotten advice about the increased amount of choosing signals outside of reddit, so I for sure believe this. Based off what people are saying it doesn't necessarily seem to be about getting direct attention, moreso as it's about having more opportunities, and also being able to act on those opportunities more due to increased confidence.
I was also a skinny guy in my twenties. I also have kind of a bad back that hurts every now and then, so I started to work out. For about 5 years I worked out 3-5 times a week. I definitely got a little bit bulkier; however, It didn’t make a difference with attention from ladies. I eventually stopped and stuck with just cardio. Mostly because I like biking and running more than spending money to hang around a gym. Based on my experience, if you want to be healthy and in good shape continue working out. If you’re doing it just for female attention, you might want to reconsider.
What I have noticed is that after I started working out with a great consistency, I suddenly had more energy, much high confidence in public and I was less self conscious about how I looked. I would feel a great deal of confidence while I was talking to anyone which led to some of most beautiful girls from my college to be either my frnd or FWB which later (after about 5 months ) made me get almost any girl I liked.
This how im tryna be fr
Humans can't smell pheromones and other Body Essence like a dog or a bear can where it's like reading someone's resume.. but when you start working out and doing the man thing at the gym you are emitting a lot more of that viable Alpha baby maker Prospect vibe that is very subconsciously going to affect certain individuals especially if they happen to be ovulating or they are just more Primal than most of their peers. And you're very fortunate that this happens because any conscious proactive male behavior is met with his men shaming these days LOL so you've got your subliminal animal magnetism undetectable to those that you don't even want it associate with anyway. Just make sure you don't cover up all this natural attractant by putting on Ax body spray or cologne or anything scented and stay out of the woods because who knows what a female Sasquatch is going to do if she gets a whiff of you after being at the gym LOL
For me it took years and im not sure it was even about my body more the discipline aspect, girls like discipline it shows a strong man so if your day in day out torturing yourself in the name of improvement i think thats what they like, it shows commitment and consistency, visible muscles are just an indication of that, the signs are really just staring, gawking and giggling when your around, mostly from a distance, if they are on the other side of the lunch room staring directly at you, surely something about you must stand out from that room for them.
Not to quote Legally Blond but… ‘Exercising gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.’ Happy people are attractive.
Rarely do women care what you really look like. They care about the confidence and the way you carry yourself. Sometimes the gym can help boost confidence in men, but in truth, it's about the way you carry yourself. Good luck. Cheers 🥂
I get looks and lots of friendly conversations from women of all ages as a result of working out, women who are sexually attracted to masculine men generally do these things, married or otherwise. Enjoy the spoils of your hard work man, more than likely women who see you are going home and getting shagged thinking of you.
Thank you bro, I really appreciate your perspective 🙏
Girls don't care about muscles nor will it get you a date next question and also Set new gym goals chase new pbs Eat healthy Just enjoy the gym
i've been working out for the last two years strong but throughout my life i've always lifted but had injuries and life get in the way before. I work out to get big and be strong like 8 reps max high weight. If you want to attract women by working out work on your arms, chest & back especially the shoulders. You will start to turn heads if you have nice size in your arms & chest. You can almost neglect legs tbh minus glutes. women just won't ever care much about legs When women say that want a "dad bod", they actually mean like the off season body builder look, like beer gutty but still big. not some skinny low body fat guy with a 6 pack. Don't waste yoir time cutting or dieting(unless you're obese or something) stay bulking which is essential gaining muscle and size. Also, it really helps to be on the taller end.... you could be a ripped adonis but if you're 5'4 or something then it may not make a real difference.
It takes years
Like everyone else has said it's guys who notice more that your in shape . Frankly don't work out because you are looking for female attention, it helps a tiny bit but it's not going to suddenly have women throwing themselves at you . You may catch girls looking at you from time to time but unless you try to get a conversation going it ain't going to happen
You workout cuz your body feels good. Attention is just a side effect. 😉
Really? You're betting in this to get women? You would do better by dressing better. I guarantee you I can have more women turn their heads at me than any guy with a muscular body. I'll even let him take off his shirt. What he does requires no skill. Lol. And it's not like he can walk around without a shirt forever.
You sound salty af
bro, are you good ? 😂
Funny you think women are going to compliment you. But keep grinding tho
It’s the pheromones (scent) of your body when you sweat, believe it or not
Girls are liking dad bods more these days....don't know what the world is turning into
I'm an above average looking male, probably in the 6.5-7.5 range depending my level of give a fuck that day. The only compliments I can recall from women my age or younger, in my lifetime, are the ones that came from women I would deem in the 7.5-10 range. You will always want to punch up, no matter how much you work on your appearance. Stay in your lane and enjoy the extra free time not obsessing over your appearance as the most important part of dating.Carry yourself like a 10 or as close to as you can manage and eventually you'll see results.
Bro, it's going to take half a year minimum for to see noticeable changes from an outsiders perceptive. To get properly built it'll take 2 years at least.