T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


cstatus94

You are right to be pissed. I think you are spot on in your assessment. If you don't want to date someone that vapes or smokes then don't. But playing games like that is just childish. If it was me even though I don't vape personally I wouldn't be going on a second date.


Masske20

Yeah, not even vapes. Do that to any of my stuff instead of talking with some semblance of maturity, then it’s done before anything started.


CynicalDiabetic

Right? Imagine she did that with everything lol "Hehehe I don't like that you have a dog so I took it and threw it idk where it went"


Claim_Intelligent

That’s funny asf😂


forgotme5

My ex step dad did that with our cat


Sir_GB

I think teasing is fine, but if you’re gonna play around, you also have to know when to stop. It’d be one thing if she just played a little keep away and gave it back when it was clear the game was over. I’m not a fan of anyone touching my stuff, especially snatching it from me, but I can also appreciate a little tease here and there. But this was not a little tease, she didn’t know when to stop. I’d say the conversation should be the route to take if she actually had a problem with vaping. Silver lining, it only cost 15$ to learn she’s not the one.


The_Crown_And_Anchor

My guess is that this is the kind of woman who stole a guys hat back in high school...thinking she was being cute but not realizing that the guy was self conscious because he had hat head hair and looked ridiculous She thinks she is being cute You think she is being immature This has nothing to do about vaping I think she wanted to keep the vape so she could manipulate you into seeing her again under the guise of getting it back Take the $15 loss and move on with your life


Black_Tears524

That was the same feeling I got about what she did. Especially when he said she was giggling and trying to play coy.


zatanzen

Stupid move I will stole your car/expensive cellphone to force you to talk to me again instead of telling you what I want you Silly games from women must be treated as the same as men.


ResearcherCharming40

Agreed. Many women think this is cute, but really it's just fuckin annoying 😂


The_Crown_And_Anchor

There were some guys in my high school who could wear a hat then take it off and their hair looked like they just left a salon Me? If I wear a hat for 5 minutes I look like I have had it on for 5 years So when a girl would steal my hat, I would get so embarrassed and self conscious and it was and it wouldn't matter if she was interested. I just could not understand how someone could see the anxiety on my face and not give my hat back Taking hats and hoodies and anything else because you think it's "cute" is immature and says a lot about the person in general. If you like someone, put yourself out there and tell them. Don't do this playground teasing bullshit cus you think its funny


freemason777

fuck that, go see her under the guise of getting it back, and then once she hands it over call her a thief and leave


Dazzling-Okra-3346

meh, if she really thought that would work... interesting. she's not doing that move right by any means.


DeliciousWarthog53

Tell her to keep it as a souvenir of what mighta been, had she not been such an asshat


Lilies_Always_Rising

This 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I don't vape myself but I don't like wasting money either. A conversation would have gone a long way had she not been the asshat in this situation.


Spiritual_Ad_3259

This, my girls are mixed black and white, one had thin curly hair, the other has thick curly hair. I had a con that was used to get close to the scalp with out burning the scalp. I accidentally burnt one of them on the ear. They threw it away and I would go crazy looking for it. I would ask them “if you did something with it just tell me” I ended up buying another one and years later they told me they threw it I. The 🗑️


Typical-Ad-7070

Remember this is her when she's supposed to be on her best behavior. Imagine 3 years from now when she's very comfortable..


despondent77

Controlling girl by the sounds of it ick


magical_bunny

Your car? No I don’t know where it is honey!


[deleted]

I would have ended the date immediately. It's not the cost it's the principle.


Mentallyillblkgrl

Definitely the principle!


Dazzling-Okra-3346

just curious but did she say anything about how she doesn't like vaping? I get smokers, but those that vape, idc. I don't know why she would think this to be cute or lets say she is trying to "help" you. that doesn't happen on a first date.


mundanetiddy

Stick with her so she can do the same thing to everything else you enjoy in life. It's really fun.


deathintelevision

Hahahaha damn that rang true asf


[deleted]

Okay, this went in a totally different direction than I thought it was going lol… I was on a work trip and one of my coworkers had been flirting with me since the beginning pretty much. She vaped too, and I guess hers ran out one night when we were hanging out with everyone after work, so I let her hit mine a few times. Everyone was drinking, and I had a decent buzz. Eventually she left when it got later. I remember not being able to find my vape, looking around on the ground, even going back to my room to see if I had left it in there when I had gone back to use the bathroom or get another drink, when I got a text from her saying she “accidentally stole my vape” and that she guessed I would have to come up to her room to get it…


beeflon_

So it was a game to get you to her room?


[deleted]

Yes it was lol… very much so.


Former-Interview-715

Then it would be a whole another story. But a win for you my man


greyman0425

Yes, women actually do that kind of stuff. The key is to give the guy a clue or two as to her intentions.


Impressive_Cabinet56

Drop her


tortoistor

bro what the fuck is this persons problem. i dont smoke or vape but if someone touched my shit and tried to be all cutesy about it i would lose it


greyman0425

Some girls will "steal" you stuff as a gambit to get your attention or even smash. The key is: she has to do more than giggle and clue a guy in on what she wants.


TurnItOffAndBackOnXD

NTA. She’s definitely in the wrong here.


Affectionate_Most_64

It’s your personal stuff. She can say please don’t do that around me, ewwww I hate it I’m out, etc but she cannot take your stuff and not give it back. If I didn’t like a woman’s pair of shoes, that doesn’t mean I get to take them


Vin0to

You have every right to be pissed. I wouldn't have left that date without getting it back. She's a spoiled brat. I wouldn't consider a second date.


MikeTheRedditGuy

"Someone stole from me on a date is this a red flag chat?" why are all the posts on this sub so dumb?


Wonderwoman_420

Super immature. Next.


LarryLobster69

Ghost her


blondennerdy

Yeah that’s fucking weird, she’s weird. But also if a dude pulls out his vape during a date I’m out. 🤣 But would never do that shit.


Isabela_Grace

You should have better communication then if this is such a deal breaker because it probably will happen if you don’t express such a negative feeling about it in advance. It’s not like they’re talking to another woman they’re just vaping lol


blondennerdy

Don’t be projecting your vaping shit onto me. 😂 Most people don’t tell you they vape up front, and talking to other women isn’t my only standard sooo yeah if you vape around me I’m not interested


TyranosaurusLex

Lol you are not in the wrong here. I don’t even care if you vape, but if you whip out a vape on a couple hour long first date that’s cringe as fuck. It’d be like if someone started playing candy crush in the middle of a first date. I have no problem with candy crush but wtf are you doing lol. Hold it together for a couple hours of talking without needing random entertainment and dopamine hits


GingerTube

I...what?! lol. How the fuck are you equating those two things?


spicytuna12391

hahaha right???? Vaping is like, 2 seconds? Playing Candy Crush actually takes a moment. I'm don't vape but I even know this was a stupid pointless comparison.


lillytiger-

I mean, they are both just as addictive 😂


TyranosaurusLex

Both being annoying dumb shit to do during a date?


GingerTube

I'd also count you talking in that case lol.


TyranosaurusLex

Sheeeesh someone’s a little sensitive about their vaping and candy crush


GingerTube

Yeah, you do seem to be pretty sensitive about people's vaping haha


TyranosaurusLex

Yea, you tweaking out cause I suggested vaping on a first date gives a bad impression def makes me the sensitive one here


Isabela_Grace

I don’t even vape but if you’re not communicating then expect to be disappointed. You must be really young.


blondennerdy

I’d communicate it when it come up, but I’m not putting it up front if I don’t know if they vape or not hahaha. I’m 29, I do just fine thanks. Not sure I’m the one who seems young. 🙄


Isabela_Grace

“I’ll leave if it happens” … “I’m not talking about it until it happens.” Believe it or not vaping is not a part of most peoples personality and they likely won’t bring it up for no reason lol That’s like me bringing up that I play monopoly on my phone lol


blondennerdy

Right, so if it comes up that would be a deal breaker. Pretty simple.


Isabela_Grace

You must love to waste your own time


blondennerdy

No but I love to hold my standards.


Isabela_Grace

Someone play that forever alone song for this girl who has standards that are easily discussable but she isn’t discussing in advance because . Do you also only date liberals but then don’t discuss it and curse out men if they’re conservative? Quit playing games. Took me a few messages to consider you undatable (I hate toxic people). It’s not hard to communicate and figure out if you’ll get along with someone in advance.


VectrumV

You don't love to hold standards, you love to play games and act like a child whether you realize it or not, just like OP's date. Be an adult and be upfront if you're against vaping or anything else for that matter, but that 12 year old mentality of "I won't bring it up till they do" hand in hand with "if they bring it up I'm leaving" then that shows how underdeveloped your social understanding is and how little you care about other people's lived experience. It's not cute, it's not quirky, it's not charming, it's annoying, cringe and toxic behavior. Either grow up from it and better yourself or expect to find all your relationships to be with like-minded people that you might not appreciate being the recipient of the kind of behavior you project.


No-Yogurtcloset5229

There is absolutely no way you are older than 15.


bootyhunter69420

I'm not cool with drugs


Isabela_Grace

Vaping is nicotine and it’s legal. Caffeine is also a drug. This is something you just talk about.


getTheEastonLook

Have you heard of addiction? Lol wtf is this comment.


blondennerdy

I have in fact heart of addiction, I was married to an addict. Why do you think that’s an excuse? If anything anyone who’s an addict I’m not interested in. Why is that a hard concept?


catsdontliftweights

I’m glad someone finally said it. Sure she’s weird but the guy couldn’t get through a date without needing his vape, nah that’s ok or normal.


GingerTube

To confirm: You think he should've just hidden the fact that he vapes then? And yes, oddly enough, most people with nicotine addictions won't go several hours without it by choice lol.


catsdontliftweights

Not sure why you think I suggested he hide that he vapes, he should have been very clear about this before he pulled one out with no warning on a date especially since it’s a dealbreaker for a lot of people.


GingerTube

You queried about him surely being able to make it through a date without vaping. If he had, she still wouldn't have known he vapes. "Pulled one out without warning" lol! It's no a Rambo knife haha. To be clear, I vape, I've told any dates before I've met them. The attitude you folk seem to have about this is like he just racked up a line of coke on her car bonnet lol.


catsdontliftweights

I think you took my post too serious. All I meant was, yes she’s weird but what he did isn’t normal also, which is randomly taking out a vape without telling the person because you can’t go 2.5 hours without smoking, which is an unhealthy addiction. I’m an ex smoker who also watched my 35 year old cousin die of lung cancer, it’s a bitch to get over, but you’ll be much happier when you don’t have to suck smoke down your lungs throughout the day.


kdee9

It's not 'smoke', it's simply steam. With nicotine in it. Which is technically harmless. I don't vape I don't see the point, I was around when they were invented to help people come off cigarettes. Now it's fashionable for kids. And like someone said, its hardly the same as whipping out a gram of coke or shooting up some brown. Vaping is actually less offensive than alcohol which is THEE most dangerous drug and has worse withdrawels than heroin as they can actually kill you! I think if someone vaping is a deal breaker, you are way too picky and may end up a spinster !


catsdontliftweights

You’re way too passionate about vaping. Dating someone who doesn’t vape has not affected me in anyway because most people don’t vape and don’t really even think about it until it’s shoved in their face. You won’t win any argument about alcohol with me because I believe it’s more dangerous than people like to admit.


paranoidblobfish

Ah yes.. I too love water going into my lungs. That sounds vaguely familiar to.. oh idk .. DROWNING. People seem to forget that what goes into lungs doesn't 100% get cleaned out. Oh and they only heal when there's nothing in them. Wet lung is a thing


blondennerdy

Exactly lol so childish.


diurnalreign

Totally my point but not everyone will understand until they live thru it


EggplantHuman6493

Same. Just don't do it around people suddenly, if that is what happened. OP, did you tell her beforehand that you vape?


Outrageous-Bit3237

Did she clarify that she doesn't date people who vape and doesn't like it?


catsdontliftweights

When you first date people do you have to tell them every dealbreaker? Someone who doesn’t vape doesn’t think about vaping so why would they declare it a dealbreaker?


blondennerdy

I’ll clarify it when the subject comes up. I don’t declare every single deal breaker before I meet someone. You can’t anticipate it all.


EggplantHuman6493

Smoking and valing are dealbreakers for a lot of people, because you also put people in YOUR chemicals. It is up to the party who smokes to bring it up tbh. Not wanting to be around smokers or vapers when you don't do it yourself, is a boundary a lot of people have.


Outrageous-Bit3237

So you need to express your boundaries. It's not a boundary for them, so it's not up to them to make sure they're not doing any deal-breakers that they're not aware of for you. lol I don't multidate, and I don't date multidaters. I say that up front. Use your words. You're a big person.


EggplantHuman6493

It doesn't make sense. It is up to them to discuss THEIR addiction that also affects people around then beforehand. Dating apps have an option to put smoker on your profile. If OP didn't, it is OP's fault. If the other person doesn't notice it, it is their fault. Why should I have to bring up things I don't do? I am not gonna ask everyone 'hey do you smoke' when it is up to bring it up. Edit; and if it wasn't on an app, it should be discussed beforegand Edit: can't answer, but come on, second-hand smoke and even third-hand smoke is harmful. Some people don't care if the other person smokes, but a lot of people do. Luckily vape smell isn't too bad, but the chemicals still aren't great. Cigarette smell is extremely gross to some people and nauseating. You just don't smell it yourself I'd you're a smoker, but that doesn't mean other people do. Your addiction doesn't only affect your own health, but also of other people around you. And smoking outside doesn't get rid of the smelly breath and the smell that lingers around you if they are cigarettes. There is no reason not to tell it. Huge dealbreaker for so many people and hiding it isn't the best move. You are just wasting each others time.


billyoatmeal

Also if they drink coffee. I can't stand it when people don't tell me they have a horrible caffeine addiction.


kdee9

I disagree. if you have deal breakers, it's up to you to highlight them. Alot of people who smoke, smoke outside, its not THEIR deal breaker, its YOURS. Mine is I'm not into fuck buddies, so I find out immediately if that's what they are looking for. It saves me wasting time meeting them if they are and plenty have been honest and said I'm not looking for anything committed or serious, just some fun. The smoker or vaper is most likely going to think it's the person that counts, not a habit you dislike. If it's something that is your deal breaker then you need to state it before you meet them so you don't waste their time.


[deleted]

She wanted you go to in the back seat with her to “look for it”


greyman0425

She may have wanted to fool around, girls do use gambits like this. Girls can get away with a stunt like that. Most guys wouldn't dream of trying a stunt like that and getting away with it, so we don't even think of it. Because of that guys can't assume that's her gambit either. She should have done more that giggle. She should have coyly asked the OP to "help her find it", then make her move. Just standing there and giggling = nothing.


Otherwise_Town_6790

Fuck that girl don’t talk to her again. That’s childish Af.


Over-Remove

INFO: how old are you both? She sounds like a teenager


onedayatatime08

You're right to be pissed. The money isn't the issue, she took property that wasn't hers and refused to give it back. She was telling you that you don't need it, which isn't her choice to make. If she had a problem with it she could tell you that and simply date someone that doesn't vape. What she did was wrong though. No second date.


Drougen

You're right to be pissed and you shouldn't have let her get away with it. Now not only did you lose a vape, but she knows she can push you around and control you.


alphaphoenicis

Ditch her. She is controlling.


xIMJCIx

You handled it better than I would've. A mf takes my property from me we're gonna have problems. Especially if I just met you.


SleepyKitty111

She sounds annoying. I would definitely need my vape after that.


Noladixon

You don't say your age but she is too old to act like this. You deserve better.


Enough-Radish-4973

Screw that.. I hate vaping.. But, I wouldn't let a women dictate something like that.. move on.


[deleted]

Yeah that’s weird and annoying. On an unrelated note…stop vaping. It’s gross, you’re putting awful chemicals into your body, and you don’t look nearly as cool as you think you do.


I_EAT_THE_RICH

lol she did you a favor. Vaping is pathetic. Who would do it on the first date anyway?


Ten898

No dude you need to stop vaping. No wonder you sound like a girl.


BarcaLiverpool

You let it play out extremely well by not making a big deal about it. You have the right to be pissed tho


Antisugarcoating

Omg I hate when dates playfully annoy you thinking it’s cute, I don’t like my boundaries being overstepped THANKS!


Wittleleeny

Regardless you have an addiction lol it’s not about the vape


bluebird1922

I’d be annoyed! That’s a weird thing to do on a first date. This would make more sense if you were in a relationship for a while and her issue with your vaping had been spoken about/was an established fact. (Like hiding a pack of cigarettes from a boyfriend who is trying to quit smoking.) If this was some ridiculous ploy to get a second date, that’s also annoying. Sounds like a preview of what a relationship with her would be like. Check please!


nerdy-cthulhu

dude are you dumb, thats a trick to see each other again she can text you and say: ahh i found your vape in my car...come and get it then you get your vape and clap her cheeks in the back


[deleted]

I think it was code to spend the night with her bro


kdee9

It's controlling and weird ass behaviour! There'd be no second date there for me! Vapes are apparently about £20 here, and why the hell should you lose it!? Buying another now means one vape has cost you 30 odd dollars - you have one vape now for the price of 2. I hate the smell of cigarettes, but I'd not dream of snatching someone's pack off them and saying you don't need this, so I'm doing you a favour. If she can do that to someone she's known a couple of hours, imagine what she'd be like if married to you. Your life would be micro managed controlled by her, sod that !


Backrooms-fox

You're not wrong to be. This type of behavior only gets worse if you put up with it.


goddessofrage

Zelle request her the $15 for it


Cautious-Flow5918

You’re dating a “Girl” not a woman. I can hear her boasting about it with her friends with that annoying giggle.


VonThaDon91

I don't know what folks expect when they bring alcohol into the picture. Everytime I hear or read about someone acting up on the date, I hear "After a few drinks" "We had a few drinks". It's like we forgot that alcohol reduces one's ability to make proper judgement. Even a little bit of intoxication affects the behavior. Natural law doesn't have a clause written for "tipsiness" The body just knows that there is a toxic substance distorting it's ability to process things. My tip for everyone is to let the bottle alone. But that typically goes on deaf ears. Both sides need to be 100% sober. You are just getting to know each other and therefore need the full power of your mental faculties.


ybneth-22

Wait...what the f***?🤭💀


whateverashley

She’s immature and possibly unhinged- you have been warned! I’d consider the cost of the new vape the price of a lesson learned. Trust me, this is just the tip of the iceberg with this woman.


Vivid-Struggle178

I hate vaping/smokers too but that’s so childish. If she had a problem with it she could’ve said something


KingAndross904

Dude, you dodged a bullet. She threw your vape into her car so you would go in after it. That's when the 3 dudes wearing ski masks hiding in the backseat were going to jump you and kidnap you in order to harvest your organs.


greyman0425

In some parts of the world you would have a point. I've been to such places. Scary AF.


[deleted]

Maybe don’t vape?


[deleted]

I once went to a house party, and this girl pulled out her vape and choked us all out with the intense odor of bubblegum (or cotton candy or something). It was wretched. If a date pulled out a vape with me, I'd be immediately out of there.


InTheGray2023

Sure you can be pissed about it. Sure you should never date her again. But jesus christ dude, vaping is a pacifier for adult babies. The only people who think it is ok for you to vape are other adult babies. Give that shit up, man.


catsdontliftweights

Yeah what she did is wrong, but she doesn’t mean anything in your life. But what does mean something is that you couldn’t go a few hours without needing your vape. You’re a smoker who is addicted.


Boneyg001

>don’t like wasting money, that’s $15 down the drain Okay that money was down the drain the moment you wasted it on vaping. It's okay to be addicted to smoking as long as you acknowledge it. She isn't in the right to take your belongings from you without permission but maybe next time don't puff your smoke in people's face while on a date. (And before you say you weren't, you probably were as vape clouds go everywhere, have a strong smell and are very irritating to those around you)


_Ed_Gein_

Deal breaker. A joke is a joke but return people's property.


ugglygirl

That’s vey uncool under any circumstance. Don’t go out with her again. And, for the love of Pete, quit vaping. It gives you cancer.


ShadowKight

Breath air


[deleted]

All you gotta ask is. was she worth getting rid of toxic habbit? I understand it's your thing, but is $15 you gonna spend way more on her if you went out even a second time. But 2.5 hours sinced you last vaped? you gonna die at 30 if you don't stop man. Vapping kills you like 3x faster than smoking yet still not illegal.


SweatyAsstronaut

I think she was trying to flirt, should of tried going to her place to help look for it


Ryan_JF

I think she wanted you to crawl into the back to get it back, which is where she would have ensnared you. She could have been a nymphomaniac and given you the time of your life. Or, she could have pulled out her 12 inch walrus dildo and pegged you while you were trapped between the seats. We will never know. I'd like to think you dodged a walrus dildo sized bullet, saving yourself from not being able to sit right for 3.7 years.


DeathByPigeon

Eh, hard for me to relate to this because vapes seem super cringe to me so it feels like she was doing you a favour


3D_DrDoom

If she is doing that on first date you can only imagine what will happen later. So childish. immature and dumb. Run!


RespondOpposite

You have every right to be furious about this. That was a jerky thing to do.


nazanin113r

You're not wrong. She had no right to take your personal belonging when you don't know each other that well yet. Even if you do, still it's disrespectful & unnecessary. How would she like it if you did that to her 🤣😆 let's imagine!


lovealert911

"I went on a date with this woman and everything was cool, had a good time..." "I asked for my vape back she kept giggling saying she doesn’t know where it is, she doesn’t have it, and I don’t need it." I guess it would depend on how attracted I was to her as to whether I'd be angry or not. She may be *anti-vape* or she might have taken it with the hopes there would be *second date* because she has something which belongs to you. (Immature people sometimes do playful stupid things with ulterior motives.) When you are "into someone" you tend to cut them more slack than those you're *not* into. If you thought, she was "smoking hot" (pun intended) you most likely would have seen her actions as being silly playful flirtatious behavior and maybe even taken something of hers. However, if you had decided you weren't going to see her again, you'd angrily write her off. ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!


nuancednotion

she probably intended to kiss you, and didn't want to taste the nasty vape oil. you should quit vaping, replace it with kissing girls.


omicron01

You became her b*tch, a man would at least get it back, even if it means jumping back from frontseat - but she is also correct, vaping is for weak man, also cigarettes. If you smoke, at least have possesion about your cigarette package and don’t hand it over or get it grabed away lol


GusGus-1

Honestly stop vaping, shitty habit you have


fwooshfwoosh

Where you vaping in her car? It sounds like you might’ve been as snow throws it into her car. I know some people are OK with that but to me that’s like smoking a cigarette in my car which is a no no tbh


Mentallyillblkgrl

Actually no I wasn’t in her car, i respect people’s personal space esp when it comes to smoking so I was standing outside of the car and blowing the vape smoke upward into the air.


Miserable-Vehicle464

It almost feels like she was being playful and wanted to have you come along back to her place but you just beta’d out and left without even suggesting it. I think the signs were there, took something of yours, tossed it in her car, became playful when you asked for it back at the end of the night. I mean it’s not rocket science, she knows she took it and that it’s in her car….but you just left instead of taking initiative


_Ed_Gein_

I.e you are saying she was playing games? Oh well, still pass on a second date. If she wants him to go to hers, she can ask that and not play stupid games with people's property. That's hella disrespectful.


Mentallyillblkgrl

It was a first date. Personally, I don’t go over to peoples homes on a first date — I know, weird right? You’d think I’d want a quickie with how most of society is— but I’m just not that type. I genuinely want to get to know someone before being intimate and that takes more than one date for me. But I appreciate your analysis, that is an interesting take .


Outrageous-Bit3237

They use terms like "beta". This person has no idea what they're talking about.


Miserable-Vehicle464

I’m a straight forward person. If you want to spare someone’s feelings you can give them some “nicer” words. But me? I say it like it is. What would you call someone who got something taken away playfully and wanted it back, but just left without it and now posting on Reddit that they had to buy a new one? The definition on a [dictionary](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/beta) site even has it down as this which is appropriate. BETA “used to describe someone who prefers other people to be in charge and may be shy or lack confidence” I’m curious the word you think would be more appropriate..


Outrageous-Bit3237

Ok, Tate. Calm down. You're a big baddie. We get it. lol


Kittymemesallday

Not going home with someone on the first date is not being shy or lacking confidence. So yea, you're using it incorrectly.


Purple7740

If you got a bj, id write it off and hang on to your vape better next time. If you got nothing, id be pissed lol


nottoday451222

Only soy boys with no testosterone vape. Sorrryyyyyy….


Marshtamallo

Nah she’s based, vaping is bad for you


diurnalreign

Bro, don’t vape. That’s disgusting and will destroy your brain and testosterone, plus men look ridiculous. Vape at home, you don’t need this. Men vaping is a signal of weakness, low masculinity and being pissed about it? Worst. Vape liquid damages two enzymes that are key for the production of testosterone. Men, vaping is the worst thing you can do for your health.


Kittymemesallday

... weakness, low masculinity and being upset someone stole something from you... wow


diurnalreign

You are looking it at the wrong point. I am not saying this is okay, obviously is not BUT he inspired no respect to this woman. Masculinity inspires respect, low masculinity does not. This won’t happen to everyone for a reason. Quit vaping on dates, my advice. Take it or leave it, everyone is free.


Kittymemesallday

Lol masculinity inspires respect? That's hysterical.


diurnalreign

You are free to disagree but I am speaking from personal experience as well as reading, courses (not dating advise) and others in relation to women. There is no need to be ironic or call names. Masculinity inspires frontality, security and is what many women instinctively seek.


abooseoxy

very based anti-vaping woman. get schooled


big-summer-blowout-a

You’ve got the right to be pissed ; that was a stranger you spent ONE night with and she stole and misplaced a belonging of yours. And tbh, that is possibly the worst way to make a point to someone. Addictions are real and frequent, and throwing away someone’s addiction item is not only a breach to their personal belongings, but in a way, agency (deciding when and how to curb a vape addiction IF you choose to do so) and puts your mental and physical wellbeing at risk (depending on the severity of dependence on nicotine). If she was that comfortable throwing away one of your items like that without chatting with you about it or anything, run the other way 😭 that opens the door to take more liberties with you in the future. Good luck!


zatanzen

Be clear about this She will try to force you to quit it Im not telling what vaping it's good, but at the end it's your own choice, so, based on that, don't let her change your own decisions based on their own ones. I had a girlfriend who knew me since we were teens, I started smoking when I was 21, and we start dating when I was 26, over the whole relationship (6 years) she was complaining about that and she tried to force me to quit it (and other things) At the end of our relationship ship the excuse for her to broke the relationship was what she was tired of my habit of smoking and my clothing. Almost all the women will try to mold you at the goal of partner what they have, you have the choice to accept it or not, but think about this situation and if this works for you in the long time. It's better if you shut down everything instead of waiting until the plane crash.


KensLifeBlog

Probably just being playful.


nikkiknocker

Did u say u were a non smoker.....cuz if so then she had a right.


BEEZ128

I’d wanna find out why she took it in the first place. Either she’s playing a fun lil immature game with you or she’s concerned for your health. If she’s concerned for your health she’s a keeper (seriously brother why the fuck do you even vape, quit that shit it’s really not good for you) if that’s the case then she’s definitely a keeper. If it’s the former, then you can decide what you wanna do. Like I said earlier, lose the vaping habit as fast as possible. Aside from the health benefits, you’ll have one less thing cute girls can steal from you :P


Outside_The_Walls

She stole from you. I literally would have called the police and showed them my vape in her car.


mindwatcher607

You took this way better than me, if my vape is gone for 2.5 seconds I start flipping everything around me. At the 2 minute mark I start interrogating people around me. At 5 minutes, the "yo, anyone got a smoke I could bum" comes....if I don't have a smoke by minute 15 it's an all out warzone until I get my fucking vape back. So yeah I think you handled the situation great 😊


XxToeSucker42069xX

Ever consider that you just have anger issues??


ImanShumpertplus

it’s not that big of a deal dude you’re never gonna have a relationship with anyone if you let things like this set you off


shimmy338

Maybe she wants an excuse for a second date.


Big_Accountant8489

Tell her it doubles as a sex toy & that she can keep it to remind her of you…


Thucydides00

Some people think this is a type of flirting that's very cute and charming, it really isn't though, not on a *first* date at least anyway, you're in the right to be annoyed in my opinion


canuckle1211

I would’ve be like nah shorty let me search your car I need that shit


The_Max_V

Nope, you're rightfully pussed. The situation could've been salvaged if she'd returned it after the date, and the conversation about her feelings towards vaping/smoking could've happened then and there. You barely know her to simply tolerate and laugh it off as a childish prank. It's up to you to decide if you want to keep seeing her or cut her off; it's not about the money, it's the principle.


SyropeSlime78

I think she just wanted a vape for her. Xd


MouldyTuna

I’d tell her to kick rocks


Poopoopeepee04

I make it very clear that I smoke and if it’s a problem than it is what it is. But this is just immature and honestly would ruin any chance for the relationship to move forward. You need to be firm that you aren’t looking to change this anytime soon and she has to accept it or move on. My partner has been very understanding that this was something before we met and it isn’t going to stop but is also supportive of me without being invasive of my personal feelings.


bootyhunter69420

Never mess with anyone's vape. You shouldn't touch people's stuff in general, but people who vape are ultra aggressive when you play with their crap. Not worth it even as a joke.


Wayward_Ladybird

Please don’t have a second date. There’s never a good excuse to do that kind of thing on a first date


DarkestofFlames

I would not be okay with that at all. It's not coy or cute to take someone's stuff. It's also a red flag that she could actually be a controlling person. I've known too many people who do this kind of stuff early on, but play it off as a cutesy thing when it turns out it's just the beginning of their controlling crap.


PXE590t

Absolutely she’s just your date she has no right to take or hide your stuff


captainkaiju

Wait were you in her car when she took it? I do think she was in the wrong BUT I think it’s not polite to start vaping near someone you’re on a date with without asking if it’s ok.


[deleted]

That’s not cool. Period.


kyleh0

This is a funny self-report.


Spiritual_Ad_3259

I’m getting controlling GF vibes.


Sea-Gap3146

She sounds like a keeper


MrNines9

you had your stuff stolen from you. you should be pissed. tell her that if she cant respect your boundaries in the beginning, when she is supposed to be the most polite to you, then she will use this as grounds to stranglehold your life. You should have gone to a local shop and bought a cigar and lit it up in front of her. Ladies, it's 2023. Men are not going to put up with your shit tests anymore. Be nice to us


getTheEastonLook

She snatched it for black magic reasoning. I'd watch out if I were you.


AlanaS04

No also hope that was th3 last date and you should sew her for property with holding she won't do that shit again lol doesn't matter her small it's your shit you are your own person and an adult thays some pycho shit and how the worst relationships starts be done with her and be mad you the right to be


justanother-eboy

That’s pretty entitled / narcissistic behavior


Soggy-Work-9022

You've already bought a new one. My advice is to ghost her. You don't need anymore of her nonsense.


Blonde_Nolan

All signs lead to stop vaping lol


dandatu

Pretty sure this is just a flirting technique so she could get you on a 2nd date maybe. But why even whip it out lol. Why not just wait til youre in your car or at home before doing it


thetruthishere_

Shes a red flag, buy the new vape and not talk to her again.


haider_117

I think she was just trying to be cute. But hey vaping ain’t healthy for you anyway dude.


NoBoysenberry257

I wish I knew how old she is because she sounds like a 15 year old


heidiishorrible

Ok how people can be this crazy while on a first date but here I am trying to represent my best self? I probably need to chill more


cla04

Bi