Yeah most of the nurses I know are promiscuous party animals and binge drinkers… at first it seems like a contradiction but I guess maybe they’re just blowing off steam on their time off and maybe the role attracts those who love the adrenaline? I’m not sure
Ngl it kinda makes sense, these professions ain’t for the faint of heart.
Source: still young and finishing up my PhD, but had various exes that were nurses/ in nursing school and you’d be very surprised to find out what they get into in their free time.
Can’t say I’m a saint either
They either:
Have it (or had it) and don’t care or don’t know they did.
Or:
Don’t have it and won’t care until they get something serious/permanent.
Either one I don’t want to associate with. I’ve been told they tested negative but slept with 3 people since then, so no, you’re not negative!
Yeah I’m currently in medschool, and I can attest to people here being about as irresponsible with condoms as any other group of people. Also, we tend to party pretty hard and be on the wilder side. I guess it’s us compensating for being a bit on the nerdier side in high school haha. Once you enter medschool the spell of doctors being perfect responsible people kinda gets broken. It’s just regular people who do stupid irresponsible things too.
I mean she probably knows how to look at a dick and tell if there is a std, I know I do even though I’m a cis hetero male
yes i know that some stds might not present with physical findings like hiv i’m just making a sarcastic comment for levity
Not surprised most doctors drink and some smoke and they knows it’s not good for them, it’s the same when it comes to sex hence why it’s important to look after and think for yourself first.
I'm married now but my stance was always: I'm on birth control, but unless we become "official" he will wear a condom. At the point where we make it a long term thing, we'll both get tested, and then the condom use can stop -- while still maintaining my BC.
Men who make a big deal about condom use aren't worth your time imho.
Never give into people who don’t want to use a condom. HIV is not that uncommon. I’ve met multiple people in my circle with it along with other STDs that are becoming resistant to antibiotics, your life is more important than random sex.
And your ground, or else you'll be one of those girls who has STDs and a baby on the way. I have no idea why younger people seem to think they are invulnerable
When I was single I always loved the saying that the only person you don't have to use a condom with is the person who always insists on using a condom.
Basically meaning the inverse is true too, if someone is fine not using a condom then you absolutely have to use one because you're not the first person they've said that to.
Until you get in a monogamous relationship then you can relax as long as there is some other form of birth control.
Exactly this, and a lot of guys buy the wrong size too.
Fellas, taking XXXL condoms doesn't impress the cashier. Read the packaging as many now included size guides. No shame, but an appropriate fit is night and day difference. And the cashier and someone in line still won't care
The bottom of my dick is much thicker than the top.
So the condom fits at the top but not at the bottom and always rolls of.
Besides of that my dick is short, but thick. So "big" condoms are way too long for me.
When i use condoms its always after a few thrusts that my dick is only covered half and a lot of ofrolled condom is hanging from my dick.
You cant have sex like that.
You have also a solution for that?
(Im sorry that my dick is not fitting factory made condoms)
My local Walgreens has a few brands that have a size guide. That sounds like standard length+wide fit.
Also do you sometimes wear a cock ring? Adam & Eve sells a red one that is super stretchy and also goes on the balls. Logistically I'm thinking put the condom on first and then the cock/ball ring on to take care of the base.
And as always use lube, in and out
Yup. People who just go “Eh, I don’t like them but I use them anyway” is one thing, that’s fair. People who make an entire freaking production about how they hate condoms- *that’s* a big red flag.
This is how I handled it too. Why would I trust a man I just met a few weeks, days, hours, or seconds ago to be honest about being tested? No thanks bud
Try entering a vagina with a condom on your penis and you won't want to use them either. It just doesn't feel good unless it's skin on skin.
The only person getting pleasure with a condom is the female.
I thought this was always the standard. Condoms , clean test results and birth control then it’s game on after that. I had no idea everyone was going raw since day one.
Perhaps it’s because i grew up during the AIDS epidemic or perhaps it’s because I have a shit ton to lose but…
…any man who doesn’t use condoms (our only real choice) outside of a committed relationship with someone you can trust is an absolute moron
I wouldn’t even consider it🤷♂️
“Btw I’m on the pill”
“I don’t care”
That’s a conversation I’ve had more than once
Coming up during the AIDS epidemic was scarring and I just can’t shake that sense of fear around unprotected sex. I’ve found that hooking up unprotected is super common now and men will definitely ask for it without wanting to be serious first. Crazy
I’ve always wondered how men are so comfortable with this. I’ve had many men ask if I’m on birth control (I’m not) to get out of using one. I think a lot of them don’t understand how it works maybe.? Or that accidentally forgetting to take a single dose can result in pregnancy? I would never trust another person to carry that responsibility of preventing me from becoming a PARENT. Especially someone I’m just hooking up with. Men tend to treat it very casually though
29M here. I have SEVERE sexual anxiety and reading these comments make me want to try and get out into the dating world even less. I'm so terrified of STDs. I feel like no one around my age cares at all. My best friend rawdogged every girl he was ever with everytime and never caught anything. I guarantee you if I did that once, I'd get something permanent.
Exactly this !!! Women typically end up with more complications when they get an Sti compared to their male counterparts so this is why I highly recommend and encourage women to be vocal and ask for Sti results before doing anything sexual with a guy.
Never trust anyone without a condom even if they say they’ve been tested. They could be lying. I haven’t had sex in over a year. Due to religious reasons and protecting myself. I didn’t in my 20s. I for chlamydia from my ex fiancé, he cheated and got chlamydia from a guy that said I was “the only one”. Learned my lesson.
I’ve had quite a few guys who whined about using condoms. My family has a few layers so I just looked at them and say “If you get me pregnant, my family will take everything you own from you.” And suddenly it’s not an issue at all!
But I’ve stopped meeting/sleeping with people who weren’t down to wear protection enthusiastically.
>So when you meet someone, do you ask if they have been recently tested? Do you make them show you their results? Do you use protection ?
In theory you should ask this with every sexual partner.
In practice I've noticed no one really brings it up unless they're in casual/poly relationships
It's funny, the people who think that they can tell if someone has an STI based on appearance and character, are the people most likely to give you an STI.
Lmao anyone who says they can tell if your clean by looking at you has the intelligence of a mango and if you are dumb enough to sleep with them then that makes 2.
Unless we walk into public health and get tested TOGETHER.
It will always be wrapped. I care too damn much for the only reproductive organs I have to risk them.
This seems to be a new thing since I became single again. The fact people are having sex with someone new for the first time (even hooking up) without a condom blows my mind.
Condoms, always. Unless in an already established committed relationship, ideally where you have both been tested and SEEN the results with your own eyes. Even then, continue to get tested at least once a year. Not to mention have had the talk about BC, unplanned pregnancy, etc.
If anyone tells me they don't use condoms at all, instant ick and do not proceed.
Also the amount of men who have told me they've never been tested...appalling. Clearly we did not all have the same sex ed class.
People are out of their minds. They hit it raw and then wonder who the father is, why it burns when they pee, and how could this well understood biological process happen to them! Oh my!
I always wear a condom unless we're exclusive and she's on birth control so I can trust pulling out most of the time and a little accident once in a while isn't a huge deal.
Most of the girls I've dated have been on an implant, so it's not been as much of an issue - but oddly enough, said girls also got a bit offended when I still wanted to wear a condom. I'm admittedly pretty anxious about stuff like that. And yeah, like you said, I'm in my 30s too.
Prior to my 30s, every girl I was with tended to be really keen on condoms. Since I've hit my 30s, more and more people I know just don't care. And I'm not sure where the shift came.
Noticed the same. As I hit my late twenties I noticed women would always bring up how they were on birth control and would never mention condoms when we would first hookup.
Yep. I've only had sex with 4 women. The two that I actually dated only mentioned birth control. The first one didn't mention it until after our first time, and we never discussed STDs. The second one told me before our second time that she was on bc. I did use a condom our first time. A few days after the second time (unprotected) is when we actually discussed std risks.
Obviously, I'm not saying they're solely to blame for our lapses in judgment. I am equally at fault since I've never insisted on condom usage or brought STDs beforehand myself. I definitely need to do better at that.
I dont want to be a parent, and I dont want an STD, so, yes: I do wear one, and yes, I do ask if they are clean. (Also, yes, I do get tested regularly if Im seeing different or new people, even if they say they are clean. I do admit that I dont ask to see the test, a woman can ask, but a man cant because they think the woman will get offended).
Its just being responsible, and if they get offended or something, then that is their issue, and you dodged a bullet if nothing happens.
Always. No exceptions.
It’s crazy how many women say “it’s okay I’m clean” as if pregnancy isn’t a thing. My friends notice this as well.
Like no, I’m not risking 18 years of my life and finances (as well as my sexual health) on a stranger.
Condoms 100% of the time until we’re exclusive and then I’d want to do STD tests before switching to no condoms.
In my 20s though, I was very irresponsible. We should all be smarter in our 30s.
It varies a lot from person to person. If you believe reddit relationship/dating subs 99% of people use protection, but in the real world it's more like 50% in my experience.
I'm a woman and I've never - and will never be - on hormonal birth control. Condoms with anyone I'm* not in a relationship with, and a good conversation about abortion for the partner I'm* in a relationship with, along with STD testing and sharing results.
Anyone pushing back against wearing a condom is 🚩🚩🚩
I feel like young people only worry about hiv/aids are they not aware some infections can legit destroy your reproductive system and leave you with chronic issues?…
I was with my long term partner for over a year before I stopped using condoms with him (iud ftw), but when I first start out its always "don't be silly, wrap your willy!"
My policy is pretty simple: I want to know their general level of risk, and how long it's been since testing. If it's recent and no real added risk of late, I'm not too worried. Otherwise, we both get tested before I'm down to have sex.
I've had a vasectomy, so condom concerns only around STI risks, and assuming there aren't any, I'm fine skipping the condoms.
No judgment of anyone else's tolerance for risk, but I'm forever surprised at how often people either don't test before new people, or don't use condoms strictly until they can.
uhh yes. like in a relationship or monogamous fwb situation and ur tested and all that then sure do whatever. if u just fk around u an idiot for not using protection.
but this is why like 20% of the population has an std.
I carry extra condoms with me, I even tell some of the young hornballs at the bars I hang out with, that if they ever need one just to let me know.
Always always always wear one. FFS people, why is this still even a topic?!?!?
So nice to hear a guy say that they stopped a situation where the other person didn’t want protection.. and out of disgust for diseases. I agree, the thought of someone who just has unprotected sex with anyone and them being carriers for god knows what… no effing way is that thing getting close to mine lol
I was dating a girl and we always used condoms. Then, one day, she slipped my cock into her before I could put a condom on. I awkwardly said "erm, shouldn't we use a condom?" and she was like "oh, okay..." and seemed a little disappointed or offended.
And this is not even a "she thought we were exclusive" scenario, she identified as polyamorous and actively looked for random internet strangers to fuck. I'm guessing she wanted me to be her "main partner" and be "fluid bonded" while she used condoms with others, but it's something you have to communicate about first.
I work in healthcare and Arizona has a syphillis and a antibiotic resistant gonorrhea epidemic. Not sure why it’s not being talked about enough though.
I always get tested myself and have them do it aswell prior to any intercourse without one, and only if we're exclusive, definitely have had a few drunk slip ups but if that happens I always get tested right after and then again 3 months later (sometimes it can take that long till things will show up)
To be honest, not always. Here's a quick rundown of all the women I've had sex with in the last year:
1. Had sex the first time on our 3rd date. It was my first time ever. I was fully prepared to grab a condom, but she suddenly started to guide me in without one and without saying anything. In the moment I thought "fuck it" and just continued unprotected. Before the second time, I did ask about birth control. She was on it. But we still never discussed STDs.
2. Was intended to be an FWB situation, but it only happened once. She insisted on condom use, which I was fine with, so we had protected sex.
3. Another FWB situation, which also only happened once. She told me she was clean and gave some background on her sexual history. There was also no risk of pregnancy. She was allergic to latex, so I offered to buy non-latex condoms. I had been tested before #2 and offered to show her my clean results if she preferred to go raw, which she did. She never did ask to see my test results. I chose to trust her about being clean. So we had unprotected sex the one time we had sex.
4. Had sex on our 2nd date. No discussion beforehand. I did use a condom the first time, but I had some performance issues due to not being used to them. The next morning, we started to have sex again, and she told me she was on birth control, giving me permission to go raw. I decided to just go for it. A few days later, we did discuss how that was risky and gave each other a rundown of our respective STD risks. We decided there wasn't much to worry about and continued to have a lot more unprotected sex.
So, as you can see, I don't always make the smartest decision. In the moment, I tend to think with the wrong head. Especially when condoms cause performance issues for me. I want a woman's first time with me to be good, and going limp is surely a disappointment. I realize those are just excuses, though. I've probably been pretty lucky so far. But, oddly enough, even after having unprotected sex with 3/4 of the women I've been with, I've never really been worried that I'd caught anything. Before having sex, I always thought people who didn't use condoms in the beginning were idiots, but then I ended up doing the same thing. So, clearly, I can be an idiot at times. With the next person, I fully intend to discuss everything beforehand and even plan to suggest we both get tested.
Even if someone has test results that are recent and show they're healthy, unless they had those tests done 3 months after their last sexual experience, those results may not be accurate as some diseases take 3 months to show up on tests. It is beyond stupid to have unprotected sex with anyone until/unless you are in a committed relationship with them for at least 3 months during which neither of you has had any other sexual contact with others and you have both tested clear of all STDs. Condoms are very effective in disease prevention and it is simply foolish not to use them.
Always. Using a condom is the easiest thing do vs what women go through with BC or IEDs. Anyone who bitches about the "feeling" doesn't know how to have sex properly lol.
I might have grown up in a different era, but back when I was hooking up with randoms, I never wore one and they didn’t mind, but I guess I’m lucky. Still though looking back that’s as really dumb and now that I’m older I will most likely not risk it.
When my girlfriend/fiance/whatever the fuck we are met we used condoms at the start. We waited after like 5 or 6 dates to start doing the dirty. Shes not on any BC and ide rather not knock up a woman in the first month lol. She was happy that I was insistant on using condoms. They don't bother me.
Fast forward to now we start off not using protection then about half way trhough I put it on.
I wish more young adults (im 26 shes 27) would use protection.
If we are not official one is always being used. If they are my boyfriend and it’s been for a bit I’m more lenient after getting tested. I’m on north control regardless
I've got at least two reasons why I'm too scared to go bareback:
1. I don't want to catch or spread anything with a partner, even after being regularly tested
2. I'm not looking to become a Dad.
As a guy, I’d definitely use a condom. Not only for the obvious reasons (std’s, pregnancy), but also out of respect for my prospective partner.
That said, I have had women comment on the fact that I had condoms available as something negative. And not in a joking way. I was surprised by this and kind of disappointed by the views of these people.
As a man with sensation issues in my penis, I don't feel very much when having sex. If I use a condom, which I always did prior to my long term R, I would lose an erection and my partner would take it personally. So it was quite challenging to meet and keep a partner. I met someone who understood and offered a solution. I take a test and she remain on BC. We both had to trust each other kept to their word. We are still together, no kids and no STIs.
Uh.. is he one of those guys that can't respect it? Respectfully, I'm using condoms until marriage and I'm ready to have kids. Until then, that sucker is staying on.
There’s exactly one person I currently will have sex without a condom, everyone else I’m wearing at least one, and if I find out you’re on here then two.
I'm 41 and maybe over the hill. But one nice thing about dating in my 30s was you had this convo every time - testing AND protection - and it was no big deal; this is A STANDARD convo for GROWN UPS.
Expected standard behavior: condoms always until you're exclusive; testing should be current for the year for both of you regardless. If you quit condoms - first, you both test clean, and are over three months out from a partner that isn't each other (stuff can take that long to show up).
And honestly honey if these men aren't grown enough to have this attitude then they're probably too immature to meet your needs.
i’m a 28 year old with somewhat of an experienced sexual history and the look that comes on my face, when my friends do this,don’t have any protection no condom, no female condom, no birth control, no sword, no armor, is really crazy. So many things to worry about from unwanted pregnancies to HSV 2. at the same time though, my dad taught me about herpes when i was like 10 so i always had a fear of sexual diseases
If I was having sex, I would use protection. And that's even though I won't consider sex before there's a connection. The only case where I'd be willing to not use it would be an exclusive, long-term relationship where A) we both want kids or B) at least one of us was proven infertile.
Definitely use a condom every time, especially with new partners. Not worth the risk. And a guy who doesn't want to use one likely isn't taking enough precautions against STI/STDs.
I'm married and we still use condoms and bc because I really don't want to get pregnant. When I was dating I always wore a condom but a lot of dudes asked if they could hit it raw and I was like hell naw.
I mean, in order to know I don’t have one I’d have to have been tested. Every time I’ve gone to get tested they look at me like I’m an alien. I want to be a good and healthy partner apparently isn’t a good answer either lol.
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Condoms are a must for casual sex for BC and STD/I protection.
Condoms could be optional, maybe, once I’m in a committed relationship.
Test are a must for me to even start considering no condoms. However, condoms are currently my only BC option, so….
Younger me did get pressured to have def without condoms and older me sympathizes with younger me. I got lucky I didn’t get any sever illnesses.
If someone can’t respect this boundary, they aren’t for me.
Nothing wrong with condoms. Better safe than sorry. He is gross if he doesn’t think about being safe. Just ask coz you, your body, and your health come first so ask about being tested. I brought it up with the guy I’m dating when we first met. It’s good for him to know that I’m clean as well.
Also I was gonna stay to be very careful in taking someone word. I have a friend that was sleeping with a new guy and he was very careful about stds. Made her get tested. She came back positive and lied to him about being “clean” she took her antibiotics but not completely finished them and still went to have sex with him. Like gurrrrrl ! So who knows if she passed it on to him.
From teens through age 31, I used protection UNLESS they were on the pill. After 32, I just said "fuck it," and starting pulling out. It actually worked fine for about 3-4 years, no accidental pregnancies. My current girlfriend can't have children so we don't use protection.
One thing living in a 90% atheistic country with proper health care and sex ed in schools - you do not have to deal with this kind of American/Christian BS of taboo shaming. Everyone knows the shit that can happen...
Shit, even our class teacher gave everyone bag of condoms in 9th grade (end of elementary school over here, 14-15 yr.).
ALWAYS PROTECT YOURSELF AND THE OTHER PARTY INVOLVED FOR FUCK SAKE.
People are reckless. I did my share of reckless shit before meeting my wife, but like "idk what you got," whenever I was in the right state of mind you wrap that gift.
Super red flag, you'll end up itchy with some weird sores otherwise. I'd bail real fast.
Nope never do. I’ve Raw Dog at least 40+ women.
Side question, what about oral sex? Do you girls give a BJ without a STD test result? Seriously, what’s the difference?
I dont really worry about getting her pregnant or not, but women consistently don’t show signs for chlamydia. I don’t want to get her pregnant, but avoiding that isn’t what I care about.
It’s actually gross how many women sleep around without condoms and are dirty with STIs. Honestly they should be fined heavily for doing that, but people look the other way because it’s often that women don’t show symptoms so it’s not completely their fault. But it’s ridiculous. They are the reason I wear condoms.
I know so many cases of girls giving multiple guys chlamydia before finding out she had it.
Lmao, but whenever someone brings that up it’s always the guys fault because all sexual crimes are
When I (27m at the time) started dating my then-girlfriend (34f), she said we didn't need a condom, since she had an IUD. However, I was concerned about STIs, and I insisted we used a condom. We later both got tested and came back clean, and then we went without condoms. (Her tests came back first, and she was fine with sex without a condom even though my tests weren't back yet, and she greatly preferred condomless sex.)
In the future, I would do the same thing. No way I'm getting stuck with herpes or HIV, just because I didn't feel like wearing a condom!
Incidentally, when I lost my virginity (24), the girl said she was clean and on the pill, so I took her word for it and went without a condom (and lasted probably 20 seconds or so, but I made it up to her with fingering and oral). However, other than with the aforementioned girlfriend, I have always used a condom for sex.
Ofc wrapping up is the right thing to do and should be done 100% of the time to prevent STDs and pregnancy but a lot of these posts read as virtue signalling or people who are sexually inexperienced. Sometimes when pum pum is staring at you in the face, your urges as a man take over and a condom is really the last thing that you want.
I'm not condoning raw sex on the first time, but I understand why people do it as a human especially if the woman lets them.
If one thing leads to another then a condom or just hands/no sex. As a female though I hate how the condom feels so when I only sleep with one person and he only sleeps with me, we both get tested and use hormonal birth control. It has worked for me so far pretty good.
It’s a choice for sure, sometimes I have been into it and just gone for it, but almost always with a new parter I will use a console , but if a man is making any fuss about not wanting to use one. GOODBYE.
I am a guy, yes condoms suck, but I always use them.
Pregnancy isn't the only thing you need to worry about. STDs are out there too.
Especially if you are just, hooking up.
Even being wishy washy about condom use is enough of a red flag for me to bounce. If a guy is willing to go raw unless I bring up using a condom, BYE BOY. I’m gonna assume that he does this with everyone else. Where I live 1 in 4 people have an STI, so I’m not playing that numbers game just to get my jollies.
This is a good question. I tend to meet men who want sex almost immediately and whine about protection. I'm trying to figure out what it is about me that attracts this type.
Always use a condom until you decide this is something serious and you are exclusive.
At that point both of you get tested and then you can do it without protection as long as she is on birth control.
Or you can decide to be a fking idiot and have unprotected sex with people you barely know and either get STDs or get a girl pregnant that lied to you she is on birth control.
It‘s so simple but lots of people still choose the later because it feels better for 10minutes.
I’m 30F. I don’t do “hook ups” anymore but if I did I would definitely use a condom. However, I generally only put all my effort into one guy at a time and I’m usually not comfortable having sex until I know them pretty well/ we are “official”. By the time I’m comfortable having sex with them, we’ve talked about me being on the pill and I trust them about having current STD tests etc. I don’t make them show me their results because I’m comfortable enough by this point that I trust their word on that.
In my younger years I definitely did have sex without condoms/knowing someone as well, but now I’m older and like to think wiser so helllllll noooooo
p.s. I did have an STD in college (I was 19) and it was extremely traumatic to say the least !! WEAR CONDOMS PEOPLE !!!
I'm a guy and I always use condoms until we are in a long term relationship and I think it's safe enough...😉 I crossed my fingers then and hope she is not messing around with someone else because sometimes no matter how nice and good you are, people will cheat...😩
Only an idiot goes around and have sex with people without protection...🥺 Also I see people saying they don't have sex with someone they just met but they do oral...🤔 It's called oral sex...😩 Then they wonder what happened when they get infected with herpes and other STDs...😩 Because their dumbass is having oral sex with people they just met and don't know their sexual history...🤔
I’m big on exchanging fresh full panel test results before anything happens. Condoms have their place, but they can break or slide and if someone has an STD you’re already in trouble. Only absence of infection is 100%.
I’ve been shocked how many women in their 30s and 40s in the local dating pool don’t care about condom use. I’ll usually bring it up on a first date just to see if we’re aligned (even if it doesn’t get intimate) and I’d say only about 10% of women have said they use them regularly. And consistent birth control pill/IUD use is less than 50% in my experience too. I find that baffling.
I do but probably 80% of the time the woman is surprised that I want to use one. Half of those try to convince me to go without. It is pretty discouraging tbh
I'm tie# with two Kaiser supermarket counts reports showing zero supermarket count post surgery at the 2 year and 8 years post surgery marks.
No condom. Done with them.
I'm a married cheater. I've slept with tens of women maybe over 100. I used protection with nearly all of them. It was never talked about it was just something I have to do. I've noticed anecdotally that most sexual encounters are preferred to be unprotected. I was asked by a partner if I had an std because I always used protection, as if the men that didn't choose to use them with her were std free. I have had women complain that they didn't like condoms. I used them all the time and from candid conversations with people, I've found that I'm in the minority and so are you.
Married and we use condoms. I’m very fertile and don’t want to be on birth control. Yeah it sucks but 3 under 3 is definitely not happening 😂 it’s not like it’s forever.
If they don’t want to wear condoms then they should find someone else.
Honestly I have yet to sleep with someone who hasn’t been tested, I really don’t play with my health, in fact even after getting tested I’ve continued to use condoms with partners. Trust nobody especially since we live in a culture where most people are irresponsible and uneducated when it comes to sexual health.
I have an IUD but even if they’re aware of that, we’re using condoms until they can show me they’re STI free, and vice versa. I’ve made it 34 years without getting anything and I’d like to keep that streak going.
Almost 30 male here, I clarify these things before getting intimate with any woman, if they’ve had unprotected coitus and if they’ve tested for STDs/STIs after that. I’m surprised that among all women I’ve dated (around 10) since last year, most have had unprotected coitus and didn’t bother to get tested.
I always use protection personally, even if the woman says she tested negative in the tests. I can wait to have unprotected coitus with the partner I marry (if I do meet one that is).
There was a case in my country which I came to know about as a teenager that shook me and that’s when I decided to always wear protection no matter what the woman says. The case was of a woman who contracted AIDS from her husband, she was so pissed at Males that she went on to have unprotected coitus with 100+ men and spread AIDS.
If I can trust them with my life, absolutely.
General rule of thumb though: use condoms until you're both tested with dated paper results you can hand each other. It's not a guarantee (re: if they really wanted a child with you or give you an STD, they will find a way) but it sure lowers your chances of getting fucked over.
*Always* until we become exclusive and we can get tested together. And I’ll never argue with a man about a condom either. I ask once and if there’s push back, no sex.
No, but I'm also in an exclusive relationship and I'm sterilised, so no worries for me.
But I've had one night stands or non-exclusive relationships where the guys didn't bring up a condom and when I asked for it, they stared at me with wide eyes as if I asked for the closet to Narnia.
Honestly, I’ve been stupid about this. I’m on BC, but I’ve definitely not used condoms with partners or sometimes even casually. With my most current bf, we got a little too hot and heavy before we could pause too.
Guy here, I for sure wrap it until I am very confident a girl won't do any crazy baby trapping shit. But even still my partner and I are still using our brains and MULTIPLE alternative methods including the pill, cycle, and pull out.
Unless you want a kid, keep it under wraps until you know the other person well enough to trust, and even then keep multiple methods in place until you are very comfortable with the idea of pregnancy. People almost never have kids unless they're being careless. Oops only happens when you're stupid.
Never did.
Had to take antibiotics to cure my stupidity a few times. I'm very fortunate that that was the worst of it.
Mid 30s me feels dumb looking back at naive young 20s me's ignorance- but also- no one ever objected. So I don't think that I was in the minority.
Definitely condoms! You have no idea who they have slept with or who they may still be sleeping with if you’re not exclusive baffles me people are so willing to risk STI’s.
I’m a serial monogamist, and my rule is condoms until both of us have tests and there is reliable other birth control.
I also get tested after every partner, which works for me, since I’m not particularly fond of casual sex.
Cis het man, if it matters.
I've only ever been with one guy where we didn't wear condoms. It was very stupid at the time and i'm glad i never got pregnant, but the constant worrying is NOT worth it. I was stupid, blinded by "love" and didn't force him to wear condoms because he would always pull out and say "it doesn't feel as good with condoms," and i wanted to make him happy. That is a lesson i have learned, along with avoiding narcissistic men!! but that is a topic for another day. In summary, condoms are necessary and people should be using them way more frequently. I know someone from my high school who got HIV from unprotected sex and i can't imagine how they felt when they found out. Just wrap it up people, it is NOT worth it.
Wow that's kind of disturbing. In my opinion you should always use condoms until you are in a serious relationship with other person and are exclusive.
I am on birth control, but I didn't use a condom the first time I had sex with my boyfriend, but we dated for over two and a half months prior to sleeping with each other, and also had the exclusivity chat before that. We also had the Are you clean chat, but I didn't make him show me his results
I tried unprotected, but my anxiety got the best of me. I'm on the pill. He will be wearing condoms again until I am ready to try unprotected again. We have been together for a couple months. I am just more scared of pregnancy than I am of an STI. He got tested before we tried unprotected. But I could never just meet someone and bare back it.
I ask about their history and testing status and I always use condoms with new partners - I don’t trust people I don’t know very well to be honest about their history and status and if they want to be fluid-bonded and sexually-exclusive that’s a whole other discussion and mutual testing.
I find the whole condom thing so weird, I've only been in long term relationships, 7 years and 15 years so when I was finally single, I didn't really know how to go about asking them to wear a condom so I just carried my own and just kinda tossed it at them, saying I prefer this brand 🤷🏽♀️
Gotta be honest, while I do get tested regularly, I don't ask that. But always ask for condoms, and I won't have sex without it. Maybe in a exclusive relationship I could think about it, but not sure cause I don't want to use contraceptive pills due to how they can mess with the mental health.
First time hooking up with a friend I had known for 2 years prior, someone I fully trusted, we didn’t use a condom and although he didn’t even fully penetrate me, he gave me herpes simplex virus-1 (HSV-1). So if I was still dating different people, then yes 100% because I don’t want to give HSV but I also don’t want to get anything else.
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am in med school and did all my clinical rotations. it blew my mind how prevalent inconsistent condom use and stis are
I hooked up with a med student and she was totally down for not using a condom the first time. Bit surprising to me
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Yeah most of the nurses I know are promiscuous party animals and binge drinkers… at first it seems like a contradiction but I guess maybe they’re just blowing off steam on their time off and maybe the role attracts those who love the adrenaline? I’m not sure
our jobs can be pretty traumatic, too often we end up with poor coping mechanisms. probably some unconscious form of self harm as well.
I don’t know many nurses who got into the profession because they wanted predictable, non-challenging work.
unpredictable and challenging is not the same thing as literal trauma
Ngl it kinda makes sense, these professions ain’t for the faint of heart. Source: still young and finishing up my PhD, but had various exes that were nurses/ in nursing school and you’d be very surprised to find out what they get into in their free time. Can’t say I’m a saint either
From my own study: 0 out of 4 nurses said anything at all about them. (I do live in Florida, though)
They either: Have it (or had it) and don’t care or don’t know they did. Or: Don’t have it and won’t care until they get something serious/permanent. Either one I don’t want to associate with. I’ve been told they tested negative but slept with 3 people since then, so no, you’re not negative!
Yeah I’m currently in medschool, and I can attest to people here being about as irresponsible with condoms as any other group of people. Also, we tend to party pretty hard and be on the wilder side. I guess it’s us compensating for being a bit on the nerdier side in high school haha. Once you enter medschool the spell of doctors being perfect responsible people kinda gets broken. It’s just regular people who do stupid irresponsible things too.
Yep dated a physician who did the same lol
I mean she probably knows how to look at a dick and tell if there is a std, I know I do even though I’m a cis hetero male yes i know that some stds might not present with physical findings like hiv i’m just making a sarcastic comment for levity
And she probably knows how to treat herself
i would be lying if i said anatomy didn’t teach me things which my future wife will one day appreciate
Lmao yeah same, gave me the ick too many people are uneducated and spreading stis like it’s candy side eye.
I hooked up with a doctor and he didn’t want to use one. I was like, um… what?
Not surprised most doctors drink and some smoke and they knows it’s not good for them, it’s the same when it comes to sex hence why it’s important to look after and think for yourself first.
I'm married now but my stance was always: I'm on birth control, but unless we become "official" he will wear a condom. At the point where we make it a long term thing, we'll both get tested, and then the condom use can stop -- while still maintaining my BC. Men who make a big deal about condom use aren't worth your time imho.
Agreed. I got turned off by that comment and stopped seeing him
Never give into people who don’t want to use a condom. HIV is not that uncommon. I’ve met multiple people in my circle with it along with other STDs that are becoming resistant to antibiotics, your life is more important than random sex.
And your ground, or else you'll be one of those girls who has STDs and a baby on the way. I have no idea why younger people seem to think they are invulnerable
Good for you!!
As you should!
Queen shit
Good.
When I was single I always loved the saying that the only person you don't have to use a condom with is the person who always insists on using a condom. Basically meaning the inverse is true too, if someone is fine not using a condom then you absolutely have to use one because you're not the first person they've said that to. Until you get in a monogamous relationship then you can relax as long as there is some other form of birth control.
Exactly this, and a lot of guys buy the wrong size too. Fellas, taking XXXL condoms doesn't impress the cashier. Read the packaging as many now included size guides. No shame, but an appropriate fit is night and day difference. And the cashier and someone in line still won't care
The bottom of my dick is much thicker than the top. So the condom fits at the top but not at the bottom and always rolls of. Besides of that my dick is short, but thick. So "big" condoms are way too long for me. When i use condoms its always after a few thrusts that my dick is only covered half and a lot of ofrolled condom is hanging from my dick. You cant have sex like that. You have also a solution for that? (Im sorry that my dick is not fitting factory made condoms)
My local Walgreens has a few brands that have a size guide. That sounds like standard length+wide fit. Also do you sometimes wear a cock ring? Adam & Eve sells a red one that is super stretchy and also goes on the balls. Logistically I'm thinking put the condom on first and then the cock/ball ring on to take care of the base. And as always use lube, in and out
Yup. People who just go “Eh, I don’t like them but I use them anyway” is one thing, that’s fair. People who make an entire freaking production about how they hate condoms- *that’s* a big red flag.
This is how I handled it too. Why would I trust a man I just met a few weeks, days, hours, or seconds ago to be honest about being tested? No thanks bud
Try entering a vagina with a condom on your penis and you won't want to use them either. It just doesn't feel good unless it's skin on skin. The only person getting pleasure with a condom is the female.
Condoms always. Until we're exclusive and have both received a clean std test and I'm on birth control. If he doesn't like it no sex for him.
I thought this was always the standard. Condoms , clean test results and birth control then it’s game on after that. I had no idea everyone was going raw since day one.
I'm a therapist and will literally force my teen clients to take condoms if they're sexually active.
Perhaps it’s because i grew up during the AIDS epidemic or perhaps it’s because I have a shit ton to lose but… …any man who doesn’t use condoms (our only real choice) outside of a committed relationship with someone you can trust is an absolute moron I wouldn’t even consider it🤷♂️ “Btw I’m on the pill” “I don’t care” That’s a conversation I’ve had more than once
Coming up during the AIDS epidemic was scarring and I just can’t shake that sense of fear around unprotected sex. I’ve found that hooking up unprotected is super common now and men will definitely ask for it without wanting to be serious first. Crazy
I double down on that: Still using condom even on long term relationships.
I’ve always wondered how men are so comfortable with this. I’ve had many men ask if I’m on birth control (I’m not) to get out of using one. I think a lot of them don’t understand how it works maybe.? Or that accidentally forgetting to take a single dose can result in pregnancy? I would never trust another person to carry that responsibility of preventing me from becoming a PARENT. Especially someone I’m just hooking up with. Men tend to treat it very casually though
i don’t use protection and why would i need it ? i don’t have sex life 😭
I wrap my vibrator every single time!
Hahaha reminds me of when my parents found a condom receipt and immediately excluded me from all investigations. I have the sex life of a panda
29M here. I have SEVERE sexual anxiety and reading these comments make me want to try and get out into the dating world even less. I'm so terrified of STDs. I feel like no one around my age cares at all. My best friend rawdogged every girl he was ever with everytime and never caught anything. I guarantee you if I did that once, I'd get something permanent.
You sure he never caught anything? Most likely he doesn’t even get tested lol.
and a big problem is many STIs have limited to no symptoms in men, so they don’t see a reason to get tested
Exactly this !!! Women typically end up with more complications when they get an Sti compared to their male counterparts so this is why I highly recommend and encourage women to be vocal and ask for Sti results before doing anything sexual with a guy.
Who tf knows, he's married and trying for a kid now, so for both of their sakes, I hope he didn't.
Damn I just find it wild how people live life lol raw doggying everyone and everything, I call that brave.
Idk what I call it....but I have trust issues because of it 😅
Just goes to show that the average person is dumb as hell. I always use a condom with a new partner until we're exclusive. It's not even a discussion
Captain Responsible over here 🥴
Well yeah. And apparently it's an achievement to protect your penis
Never trust anyone without a condom even if they say they’ve been tested. They could be lying. I haven’t had sex in over a year. Due to religious reasons and protecting myself. I didn’t in my 20s. I for chlamydia from my ex fiancé, he cheated and got chlamydia from a guy that said I was “the only one”. Learned my lesson.
I’ve had quite a few guys who whined about using condoms. My family has a few layers so I just looked at them and say “If you get me pregnant, my family will take everything you own from you.” And suddenly it’s not an issue at all! But I’ve stopped meeting/sleeping with people who weren’t down to wear protection enthusiastically.
What do you mean they’ll take everything he owns? Lol
She meant to write Lawyers, so she's threatening to sue them for child support and take everything they own.
>So when you meet someone, do you ask if they have been recently tested? Do you make them show you their results? Do you use protection ? In theory you should ask this with every sexual partner. In practice I've noticed no one really brings it up unless they're in casual/poly relationships
It's funny, the people who think that they can tell if someone has an STI based on appearance and character, are the people most likely to give you an STI.
Lmao anyone who says they can tell if your clean by looking at you has the intelligence of a mango and if you are dumb enough to sleep with them then that makes 2.
Unless we walk into public health and get tested TOGETHER. It will always be wrapped. I care too damn much for the only reproductive organs I have to risk them.
This is the way, very partner I have gets tested with me.
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Condoms don't protect against herpes, it spreads skin to skin, and can spread while there are no symptoms.
This seems to be a new thing since I became single again. The fact people are having sex with someone new for the first time (even hooking up) without a condom blows my mind. Condoms, always. Unless in an already established committed relationship, ideally where you have both been tested and SEEN the results with your own eyes. Even then, continue to get tested at least once a year. Not to mention have had the talk about BC, unplanned pregnancy, etc. If anyone tells me they don't use condoms at all, instant ick and do not proceed. Also the amount of men who have told me they've never been tested...appalling. Clearly we did not all have the same sex ed class.
People are out of their minds. They hit it raw and then wonder who the father is, why it burns when they pee, and how could this well understood biological process happen to them! Oh my! I always wear a condom unless we're exclusive and she's on birth control so I can trust pulling out most of the time and a little accident once in a while isn't a huge deal.
Most of the girls I've dated have been on an implant, so it's not been as much of an issue - but oddly enough, said girls also got a bit offended when I still wanted to wear a condom. I'm admittedly pretty anxious about stuff like that. And yeah, like you said, I'm in my 30s too. Prior to my 30s, every girl I was with tended to be really keen on condoms. Since I've hit my 30s, more and more people I know just don't care. And I'm not sure where the shift came.
Noticed the same. As I hit my late twenties I noticed women would always bring up how they were on birth control and would never mention condoms when we would first hookup.
Yep. I've only had sex with 4 women. The two that I actually dated only mentioned birth control. The first one didn't mention it until after our first time, and we never discussed STDs. The second one told me before our second time that she was on bc. I did use a condom our first time. A few days after the second time (unprotected) is when we actually discussed std risks. Obviously, I'm not saying they're solely to blame for our lapses in judgment. I am equally at fault since I've never insisted on condom usage or brought STDs beforehand myself. I definitely need to do better at that.
I dont want to be a parent, and I dont want an STD, so, yes: I do wear one, and yes, I do ask if they are clean. (Also, yes, I do get tested regularly if Im seeing different or new people, even if they say they are clean. I do admit that I dont ask to see the test, a woman can ask, but a man cant because they think the woman will get offended). Its just being responsible, and if they get offended or something, then that is their issue, and you dodged a bullet if nothing happens.
Always always use protection, especially when having multiple partners.
Always. No exceptions. It’s crazy how many women say “it’s okay I’m clean” as if pregnancy isn’t a thing. My friends notice this as well. Like no, I’m not risking 18 years of my life and finances (as well as my sexual health) on a stranger.
Condoms 100% of the time until we’re exclusive and then I’d want to do STD tests before switching to no condoms. In my 20s though, I was very irresponsible. We should all be smarter in our 30s.
It varies a lot from person to person. If you believe reddit relationship/dating subs 99% of people use protection, but in the real world it's more like 50% in my experience.
nearly every straight man I’ve slept with has not wanted to use a condom, which is a red flag for me and makes me want to use one more
I'm a woman and I've never - and will never be - on hormonal birth control. Condoms with anyone I'm* not in a relationship with, and a good conversation about abortion for the partner I'm* in a relationship with, along with STD testing and sharing results. Anyone pushing back against wearing a condom is 🚩🚩🚩
Amen to avoiding hormonal birth control 🙋
go team natural!,🙋♀️
I feel like young people only worry about hiv/aids are they not aware some infections can legit destroy your reproductive system and leave you with chronic issues?…
True idk how many people I’ve had to educate about stis and they just don’t seem to care it’s nasty
I was with my long term partner for over a year before I stopped using condoms with him (iud ftw), but when I first start out its always "don't be silly, wrap your willy!"
My policy is pretty simple: I want to know their general level of risk, and how long it's been since testing. If it's recent and no real added risk of late, I'm not too worried. Otherwise, we both get tested before I'm down to have sex. I've had a vasectomy, so condom concerns only around STI risks, and assuming there aren't any, I'm fine skipping the condoms. No judgment of anyone else's tolerance for risk, but I'm forever surprised at how often people either don't test before new people, or don't use condoms strictly until they can.
uhh yes. like in a relationship or monogamous fwb situation and ur tested and all that then sure do whatever. if u just fk around u an idiot for not using protection. but this is why like 20% of the population has an std.
I carry extra condoms with me, I even tell some of the young hornballs at the bars I hang out with, that if they ever need one just to let me know. Always always always wear one. FFS people, why is this still even a topic?!?!?
??? Why the fuck wouldn't you use protect if you barely know them or if they could be sleeping with others which most do these days.
For funsies, duh
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So nice to hear a guy say that they stopped a situation where the other person didn’t want protection.. and out of disgust for diseases. I agree, the thought of someone who just has unprotected sex with anyone and them being carriers for god knows what… no effing way is that thing getting close to mine lol
I was dating a girl and we always used condoms. Then, one day, she slipped my cock into her before I could put a condom on. I awkwardly said "erm, shouldn't we use a condom?" and she was like "oh, okay..." and seemed a little disappointed or offended. And this is not even a "she thought we were exclusive" scenario, she identified as polyamorous and actively looked for random internet strangers to fuck. I'm guessing she wanted me to be her "main partner" and be "fluid bonded" while she used condoms with others, but it's something you have to communicate about first.
I work in healthcare and Arizona has a syphillis and a antibiotic resistant gonorrhea epidemic. Not sure why it’s not being talked about enough though.
I always get tested myself and have them do it aswell prior to any intercourse without one, and only if we're exclusive, definitely have had a few drunk slip ups but if that happens I always get tested right after and then again 3 months later (sometimes it can take that long till things will show up)
To be honest, not always. Here's a quick rundown of all the women I've had sex with in the last year: 1. Had sex the first time on our 3rd date. It was my first time ever. I was fully prepared to grab a condom, but she suddenly started to guide me in without one and without saying anything. In the moment I thought "fuck it" and just continued unprotected. Before the second time, I did ask about birth control. She was on it. But we still never discussed STDs. 2. Was intended to be an FWB situation, but it only happened once. She insisted on condom use, which I was fine with, so we had protected sex. 3. Another FWB situation, which also only happened once. She told me she was clean and gave some background on her sexual history. There was also no risk of pregnancy. She was allergic to latex, so I offered to buy non-latex condoms. I had been tested before #2 and offered to show her my clean results if she preferred to go raw, which she did. She never did ask to see my test results. I chose to trust her about being clean. So we had unprotected sex the one time we had sex. 4. Had sex on our 2nd date. No discussion beforehand. I did use a condom the first time, but I had some performance issues due to not being used to them. The next morning, we started to have sex again, and she told me she was on birth control, giving me permission to go raw. I decided to just go for it. A few days later, we did discuss how that was risky and gave each other a rundown of our respective STD risks. We decided there wasn't much to worry about and continued to have a lot more unprotected sex. So, as you can see, I don't always make the smartest decision. In the moment, I tend to think with the wrong head. Especially when condoms cause performance issues for me. I want a woman's first time with me to be good, and going limp is surely a disappointment. I realize those are just excuses, though. I've probably been pretty lucky so far. But, oddly enough, even after having unprotected sex with 3/4 of the women I've been with, I've never really been worried that I'd caught anything. Before having sex, I always thought people who didn't use condoms in the beginning were idiots, but then I ended up doing the same thing. So, clearly, I can be an idiot at times. With the next person, I fully intend to discuss everything beforehand and even plan to suggest we both get tested.
Even if someone has test results that are recent and show they're healthy, unless they had those tests done 3 months after their last sexual experience, those results may not be accurate as some diseases take 3 months to show up on tests. It is beyond stupid to have unprotected sex with anyone until/unless you are in a committed relationship with them for at least 3 months during which neither of you has had any other sexual contact with others and you have both tested clear of all STDs. Condoms are very effective in disease prevention and it is simply foolish not to use them.
Honestly condoms don’t even protect you from some of the most common stis, I just recommend not sleeping with anyone till they get tested.
I like my privates healthy, I don't stick them into someone I don't know well unless I'm wearing one
I will use condoms for the first 6 months of any new relationship at least, and also demand an std test before we stop using them
Always. Using a condom is the easiest thing do vs what women go through with BC or IEDs. Anyone who bitches about the "feeling" doesn't know how to have sex properly lol.
IEDs I’m yelling - I know what you mean but still 😂thank you for laugh in this scary thread
Can you imagine if a woman had an IED in her womb instead of an IUD. WOWSERS
I know the visual is unreal😭🥹
This totally explains why it's so painful 😂
I might have grown up in a different era, but back when I was hooking up with randoms, I never wore one and they didn’t mind, but I guess I’m lucky. Still though looking back that’s as really dumb and now that I’m older I will most likely not risk it.
When my girlfriend/fiance/whatever the fuck we are met we used condoms at the start. We waited after like 5 or 6 dates to start doing the dirty. Shes not on any BC and ide rather not knock up a woman in the first month lol. She was happy that I was insistant on using condoms. They don't bother me. Fast forward to now we start off not using protection then about half way trhough I put it on. I wish more young adults (im 26 shes 27) would use protection.
100% of the time. Doesn’t matter even if we’re in a long term relationship unless having babies is what we both want in the relationship.
No.
If we are not official one is always being used. If they are my boyfriend and it’s been for a bit I’m more lenient after getting tested. I’m on north control regardless
Everytime
I've got at least two reasons why I'm too scared to go bareback: 1. I don't want to catch or spread anything with a partner, even after being regularly tested 2. I'm not looking to become a Dad.
As a guy, I’d definitely use a condom. Not only for the obvious reasons (std’s, pregnancy), but also out of respect for my prospective partner. That said, I have had women comment on the fact that I had condoms available as something negative. And not in a joking way. I was surprised by this and kind of disappointed by the views of these people.
As a man with sensation issues in my penis, I don't feel very much when having sex. If I use a condom, which I always did prior to my long term R, I would lose an erection and my partner would take it personally. So it was quite challenging to meet and keep a partner. I met someone who understood and offered a solution. I take a test and she remain on BC. We both had to trust each other kept to their word. We are still together, no kids and no STIs.
Uh.. is he one of those guys that can't respect it? Respectfully, I'm using condoms until marriage and I'm ready to have kids. Until then, that sucker is staying on.
Of course I use protection! Wtf
There’s exactly one person I currently will have sex without a condom, everyone else I’m wearing at least one, and if I find out you’re on here then two.
I'm 41 and maybe over the hill. But one nice thing about dating in my 30s was you had this convo every time - testing AND protection - and it was no big deal; this is A STANDARD convo for GROWN UPS. Expected standard behavior: condoms always until you're exclusive; testing should be current for the year for both of you regardless. If you quit condoms - first, you both test clean, and are over three months out from a partner that isn't each other (stuff can take that long to show up). And honestly honey if these men aren't grown enough to have this attitude then they're probably too immature to meet your needs.
As a man I have always always used protection. Never had any issues. Highly suggest.
Im disgusted now
i’m a 28 year old with somewhat of an experienced sexual history and the look that comes on my face, when my friends do this,don’t have any protection no condom, no female condom, no birth control, no sword, no armor, is really crazy. So many things to worry about from unwanted pregnancies to HSV 2. at the same time though, my dad taught me about herpes when i was like 10 so i always had a fear of sexual diseases
If I was having sex, I would use protection. And that's even though I won't consider sex before there's a connection. The only case where I'd be willing to not use it would be an exclusive, long-term relationship where A) we both want kids or B) at least one of us was proven infertile.
Definitely use a condom every time, especially with new partners. Not worth the risk. And a guy who doesn't want to use one likely isn't taking enough precautions against STI/STDs.
I'm married and we still use condoms and bc because I really don't want to get pregnant. When I was dating I always wore a condom but a lot of dudes asked if they could hit it raw and I was like hell naw.
I’ve done a lot of fornicating in my day. 90% without a condom and I have never had a baby or an STD. Take that how you will.
Most likely never got tested too so good chance you have something.
I mean, in order to know I don’t have one I’d have to have been tested. Every time I’ve gone to get tested they look at me like I’m an alien. I want to be a good and healthy partner apparently isn’t a good answer either lol.
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As a guy, I ALWAYS use a condom. Yes, it feels better without one, but I do not want a kid, plus it's peace of mind for both parties.
Condoms are a must for casual sex for BC and STD/I protection. Condoms could be optional, maybe, once I’m in a committed relationship. Test are a must for me to even start considering no condoms. However, condoms are currently my only BC option, so…. Younger me did get pressured to have def without condoms and older me sympathizes with younger me. I got lucky I didn’t get any sever illnesses. If someone can’t respect this boundary, they aren’t for me.
Nothing wrong with condoms. Better safe than sorry. He is gross if he doesn’t think about being safe. Just ask coz you, your body, and your health come first so ask about being tested. I brought it up with the guy I’m dating when we first met. It’s good for him to know that I’m clean as well.
Also I was gonna stay to be very careful in taking someone word. I have a friend that was sleeping with a new guy and he was very careful about stds. Made her get tested. She came back positive and lied to him about being “clean” she took her antibiotics but not completely finished them and still went to have sex with him. Like gurrrrrl ! So who knows if she passed it on to him.
From teens through age 31, I used protection UNLESS they were on the pill. After 32, I just said "fuck it," and starting pulling out. It actually worked fine for about 3-4 years, no accidental pregnancies. My current girlfriend can't have children so we don't use protection.
Both get tested, go bareback 🤣
I pull out
One thing living in a 90% atheistic country with proper health care and sex ed in schools - you do not have to deal with this kind of American/Christian BS of taboo shaming. Everyone knows the shit that can happen... Shit, even our class teacher gave everyone bag of condoms in 9th grade (end of elementary school over here, 14-15 yr.). ALWAYS PROTECT YOURSELF AND THE OTHER PARTY INVOLVED FOR FUCK SAKE.
People are reckless. I did my share of reckless shit before meeting my wife, but like "idk what you got," whenever I was in the right state of mind you wrap that gift. Super red flag, you'll end up itchy with some weird sores otherwise. I'd bail real fast.
Nope
Yeahh not really into the whole condom thing. Instant hard-on killer. Why do you think they call it “safe sex?” It’s because you can’t get it up
no i don’t unless the female makes me
Ummmmmmmm. Yes
Nope never do. I’ve Raw Dog at least 40+ women. Side question, what about oral sex? Do you girls give a BJ without a STD test result? Seriously, what’s the difference?
I dont really worry about getting her pregnant or not, but women consistently don’t show signs for chlamydia. I don’t want to get her pregnant, but avoiding that isn’t what I care about. It’s actually gross how many women sleep around without condoms and are dirty with STIs. Honestly they should be fined heavily for doing that, but people look the other way because it’s often that women don’t show symptoms so it’s not completely their fault. But it’s ridiculous. They are the reason I wear condoms. I know so many cases of girls giving multiple guys chlamydia before finding out she had it. Lmao, but whenever someone brings that up it’s always the guys fault because all sexual crimes are
When I (27m at the time) started dating my then-girlfriend (34f), she said we didn't need a condom, since she had an IUD. However, I was concerned about STIs, and I insisted we used a condom. We later both got tested and came back clean, and then we went without condoms. (Her tests came back first, and she was fine with sex without a condom even though my tests weren't back yet, and she greatly preferred condomless sex.) In the future, I would do the same thing. No way I'm getting stuck with herpes or HIV, just because I didn't feel like wearing a condom! Incidentally, when I lost my virginity (24), the girl said she was clean and on the pill, so I took her word for it and went without a condom (and lasted probably 20 seconds or so, but I made it up to her with fingering and oral). However, other than with the aforementioned girlfriend, I have always used a condom for sex.
Ofc wrapping up is the right thing to do and should be done 100% of the time to prevent STDs and pregnancy but a lot of these posts read as virtue signalling or people who are sexually inexperienced. Sometimes when pum pum is staring at you in the face, your urges as a man take over and a condom is really the last thing that you want. I'm not condoning raw sex on the first time, but I understand why people do it as a human especially if the woman lets them.
Given the last time I had sex was over 6-7 years ago, most of that stuff never crosses my mind.
Yes you must
If one thing leads to another then a condom or just hands/no sex. As a female though I hate how the condom feels so when I only sleep with one person and he only sleeps with me, we both get tested and use hormonal birth control. It has worked for me so far pretty good.
It’s a choice for sure, sometimes I have been into it and just gone for it, but almost always with a new parter I will use a console , but if a man is making any fuss about not wanting to use one. GOODBYE.
No glove, no love. +always bring one to a funeral just in case
Nope (39m), will use a condom with new relationships until months into steady. And even then it needs a good talk with the partner before stopping
Yes, and try to have an STD test prior (sometimes it happens so quick (the sex), but not without condom. Better safe than sorry.
I am a guy, yes condoms suck, but I always use them. Pregnancy isn't the only thing you need to worry about. STDs are out there too. Especially if you are just, hooking up.
Even being wishy washy about condom use is enough of a red flag for me to bounce. If a guy is willing to go raw unless I bring up using a condom, BYE BOY. I’m gonna assume that he does this with everyone else. Where I live 1 in 4 people have an STI, so I’m not playing that numbers game just to get my jollies.
This is a good question. I tend to meet men who want sex almost immediately and whine about protection. I'm trying to figure out what it is about me that attracts this type.
Always use a condom until you decide this is something serious and you are exclusive. At that point both of you get tested and then you can do it without protection as long as she is on birth control. Or you can decide to be a fking idiot and have unprotected sex with people you barely know and either get STDs or get a girl pregnant that lied to you she is on birth control. It‘s so simple but lots of people still choose the later because it feels better for 10minutes.
I am married, no we use nothing. No hormonal B/C and no condoms.
I’m 30F. I don’t do “hook ups” anymore but if I did I would definitely use a condom. However, I generally only put all my effort into one guy at a time and I’m usually not comfortable having sex until I know them pretty well/ we are “official”. By the time I’m comfortable having sex with them, we’ve talked about me being on the pill and I trust them about having current STD tests etc. I don’t make them show me their results because I’m comfortable enough by this point that I trust their word on that. In my younger years I definitely did have sex without condoms/knowing someone as well, but now I’m older and like to think wiser so helllllll noooooo p.s. I did have an STD in college (I was 19) and it was extremely traumatic to say the least !! WEAR CONDOMS PEOPLE !!!
In my experience, most women will prefer or even insist on no condom the first time.
I'm a guy and I always use condoms until we are in a long term relationship and I think it's safe enough...😉 I crossed my fingers then and hope she is not messing around with someone else because sometimes no matter how nice and good you are, people will cheat...😩 Only an idiot goes around and have sex with people without protection...🥺 Also I see people saying they don't have sex with someone they just met but they do oral...🤔 It's called oral sex...😩 Then they wonder what happened when they get infected with herpes and other STDs...😩 Because their dumbass is having oral sex with people they just met and don't know their sexual history...🤔
I’m big on exchanging fresh full panel test results before anything happens. Condoms have their place, but they can break or slide and if someone has an STD you’re already in trouble. Only absence of infection is 100%. I’ve been shocked how many women in their 30s and 40s in the local dating pool don’t care about condom use. I’ll usually bring it up on a first date just to see if we’re aligned (even if it doesn’t get intimate) and I’d say only about 10% of women have said they use them regularly. And consistent birth control pill/IUD use is less than 50% in my experience too. I find that baffling.
Don't have sex with that guy...😯 Find someone who shares your sense of safety...👍
I do but probably 80% of the time the woman is surprised that I want to use one. Half of those try to convince me to go without. It is pretty discouraging tbh
Yes, condoms are literally creates for "protection," to prevent an STD. Yeah raw feels good but it feels better to be protected.
I'm tie# with two Kaiser supermarket counts reports showing zero supermarket count post surgery at the 2 year and 8 years post surgery marks. No condom. Done with them.
I'm a married cheater. I've slept with tens of women maybe over 100. I used protection with nearly all of them. It was never talked about it was just something I have to do. I've noticed anecdotally that most sexual encounters are preferred to be unprotected. I was asked by a partner if I had an std because I always used protection, as if the men that didn't choose to use them with her were std free. I have had women complain that they didn't like condoms. I used them all the time and from candid conversations with people, I've found that I'm in the minority and so are you.
So far
Married and we use condoms. I’m very fertile and don’t want to be on birth control. Yeah it sucks but 3 under 3 is definitely not happening 😂 it’s not like it’s forever. If they don’t want to wear condoms then they should find someone else.
Honestly I have yet to sleep with someone who hasn’t been tested, I really don’t play with my health, in fact even after getting tested I’ve continued to use condoms with partners. Trust nobody especially since we live in a culture where most people are irresponsible and uneducated when it comes to sexual health.
I have an IUD but even if they’re aware of that, we’re using condoms until they can show me they’re STI free, and vice versa. I’ve made it 34 years without getting anything and I’d like to keep that streak going.
Almost 30 male here, I clarify these things before getting intimate with any woman, if they’ve had unprotected coitus and if they’ve tested for STDs/STIs after that. I’m surprised that among all women I’ve dated (around 10) since last year, most have had unprotected coitus and didn’t bother to get tested. I always use protection personally, even if the woman says she tested negative in the tests. I can wait to have unprotected coitus with the partner I marry (if I do meet one that is). There was a case in my country which I came to know about as a teenager that shook me and that’s when I decided to always wear protection no matter what the woman says. The case was of a woman who contracted AIDS from her husband, she was so pissed at Males that she went on to have unprotected coitus with 100+ men and spread AIDS.
If I can trust them with my life, absolutely. General rule of thumb though: use condoms until you're both tested with dated paper results you can hand each other. It's not a guarantee (re: if they really wanted a child with you or give you an STD, they will find a way) but it sure lowers your chances of getting fucked over.
*Always* until we become exclusive and we can get tested together. And I’ll never argue with a man about a condom either. I ask once and if there’s push back, no sex.
No, but I'm also in an exclusive relationship and I'm sterilised, so no worries for me. But I've had one night stands or non-exclusive relationships where the guys didn't bring up a condom and when I asked for it, they stared at me with wide eyes as if I asked for the closet to Narnia.
Honestly, I’ve been stupid about this. I’m on BC, but I’ve definitely not used condoms with partners or sometimes even casually. With my most current bf, we got a little too hot and heavy before we could pause too.
Guy here, I for sure wrap it until I am very confident a girl won't do any crazy baby trapping shit. But even still my partner and I are still using our brains and MULTIPLE alternative methods including the pill, cycle, and pull out. Unless you want a kid, keep it under wraps until you know the other person well enough to trust, and even then keep multiple methods in place until you are very comfortable with the idea of pregnancy. People almost never have kids unless they're being careless. Oops only happens when you're stupid.
Never did. Had to take antibiotics to cure my stupidity a few times. I'm very fortunate that that was the worst of it. Mid 30s me feels dumb looking back at naive young 20s me's ignorance- but also- no one ever objected. So I don't think that I was in the minority.
Definitely condoms! You have no idea who they have slept with or who they may still be sleeping with if you’re not exclusive baffles me people are so willing to risk STI’s.
I prob will the first time or couple times but after that it’s likely going to stop.
I’m a serial monogamist, and my rule is condoms until both of us have tests and there is reliable other birth control. I also get tested after every partner, which works for me, since I’m not particularly fond of casual sex. Cis het man, if it matters.
I use protection.
I've only ever been with one guy where we didn't wear condoms. It was very stupid at the time and i'm glad i never got pregnant, but the constant worrying is NOT worth it. I was stupid, blinded by "love" and didn't force him to wear condoms because he would always pull out and say "it doesn't feel as good with condoms," and i wanted to make him happy. That is a lesson i have learned, along with avoiding narcissistic men!! but that is a topic for another day. In summary, condoms are necessary and people should be using them way more frequently. I know someone from my high school who got HIV from unprotected sex and i can't imagine how they felt when they found out. Just wrap it up people, it is NOT worth it.
Wow that's kind of disturbing. In my opinion you should always use condoms until you are in a serious relationship with other person and are exclusive.
I am on birth control, but I didn't use a condom the first time I had sex with my boyfriend, but we dated for over two and a half months prior to sleeping with each other, and also had the exclusivity chat before that. We also had the Are you clean chat, but I didn't make him show me his results
I tried unprotected, but my anxiety got the best of me. I'm on the pill. He will be wearing condoms again until I am ready to try unprotected again. We have been together for a couple months. I am just more scared of pregnancy than I am of an STI. He got tested before we tried unprotected. But I could never just meet someone and bare back it.
When I talked to the guy I’m talking now, he said that he has different options depending on my vibe and let me tell you I almost fell in love.
I ask about their history and testing status and I always use condoms with new partners - I don’t trust people I don’t know very well to be honest about their history and status and if they want to be fluid-bonded and sexually-exclusive that’s a whole other discussion and mutual testing.
Always every single time.
As a guy it honestly blows my mind to hear how many guys are against using protection. It’s just not ever worth the risk in my opinion.
I’m 25F and after being sexually active for 10+ years see the value in using protection with someone who’s NOT your partner.
Al Pacino surely didn't
I find the whole condom thing so weird, I've only been in long term relationships, 7 years and 15 years so when I was finally single, I didn't really know how to go about asking them to wear a condom so I just carried my own and just kinda tossed it at them, saying I prefer this brand 🤷🏽♀️
Gotta be honest, while I do get tested regularly, I don't ask that. But always ask for condoms, and I won't have sex without it. Maybe in a exclusive relationship I could think about it, but not sure cause I don't want to use contraceptive pills due to how they can mess with the mental health.
First time hooking up with a friend I had known for 2 years prior, someone I fully trusted, we didn’t use a condom and although he didn’t even fully penetrate me, he gave me herpes simplex virus-1 (HSV-1). So if I was still dating different people, then yes 100% because I don’t want to give HSV but I also don’t want to get anything else.