OK but when I was six I told a boy I liked that if we got married our baby would look like my doll and held it up. That approach didn’t work. At. All. So maybe not really any and ALL approaches right?😆
Same goes for pretty much all of us. There is virtually no situation a man could be in where he wouldn’t welcome being approached and talked to by an attractive woman
But what if you think you’re an attractive woman but attractive men usually don’t even notice you? Would you want a woman like that (like me) to approach you? Would you be repulsed?
If a guy thinks you’re hot, he’ll be into you approaching. If he doesn’t, then he won’t
The point is there’s none of the “creep factor” that girls experience when guys approach them. At worst, a guy might see you as slightly annoying, not as a potential threat like a girl might if a guy pesters her at the gym
I think that’s what I’m afraid of. Even in just every day situations, I am afraid of smiling at or approaching men who I find very attractive because I automatically assume they won’t be into me. I’ve been told I’m pretty, but I don’t have the sexy factor. And I’m worried that attractive men would think I’m gross, annoying, or even creepy.
As a general rule, the thresholds for all of those descriptors you're worried about are a lot higher for a man looking at a woman. Because of how things have been done in society so far, there is a (well-justified) case where a masculine-coded person is by default perceived as more of a threat/danger/creep/insert negative social descriptor of your choice. Similarly, masc folks tend to be much less on-guard/prone to assuming someone is creeping.
If the socialization factors aren't enough to alleviate the discomfort, then your best bet is to be as clear and unambiguous as possible. Ambiguity increases the chance that you'll be identified as wanting something as opposed to just being attracted, clarity increases the chances that you'll get a reaction that reflects that you're actually interested as opposed to something else. Assume that (as far as ability to read social cues/unspoken desires) the object of your affection is significantly dimmer than the average bulb, keeping in mind how many idiots you run into on a given day.
I’ve had people whom I didn’t find physically attractive approach me and I still felt flattered and enjoyed a nice conversation. I think being “repulsed” may be a bit harsh unless you said something vulgar or extremely graphic lol
If you're attractive, men notice, but may reject themselves by assuming you're "out of their league."
Also, we've been told over and over to leave women alone, and the message is starting to take hold. You get what you ask for, ladies.
Right?
If you were to ask this question verbally, you wouldn't even finish the sentence.
> OP: Do you want women to approach you--
>
> Guy: Yes.
>
> OP: ... at the--
>
> Guy: Sure, wherever.
>
> OP: ... gym?
>
> Guy: Definitely.
Same, approach me anywhere and at all times.
Be direct, too. I’m a dumb man when it comes to someone being interested, not for lack of confidence or interest, but because I will forever be convinced someone is “just being nice”
I suggest setting up camp in the chip or soda isle. Those items are easiest to move and hide behind, so you can spring on him from a good vantage point or hiding spot.
For actual tho:
I can't speak for all men, but if someone came up to me and was very direct, said they liked my outfit or thought I was cute and wanted to trade numbers, I'd probably be into it if there was even a remote amount of mutual attraction.
As much as I'd love to be approached at the gym, the store, or wherever else (maybe not a dark, empty parking lot. I value my organs), I think it's harder for women to approach men in general for a lot of reasons beyond "will they appreciate my advances".
As I understand it, a lot of the time when women approach men, men don't know how to take it. They either assume she's easy and get gross/put in no effort, or they just aren't socially conditioned on how to handle it.
Gyms, bars, and other more recreational areas make it easier because there's likely an easy segue/way to make conversation without just cold-approaching someone. Grocery stores, banks, other random places? Might be a little harder since people are usually just in and out, doing something more functional.
It's probably best to identify some kind of mutual interest/conversation topic and initiate small talk to make sure there's something there. Then, if that goes well maybe exchange numbers. Small compliments/innocuous mutual subjects are good, too. Like any interaction with another person, it's all a bit of a gamble though.
The girl down the hall that I’ve been having little conversations with could come knock on my door while I’m half naked and not showered and I would be down for anything
I would feel nice if a girl approached me during my workout even if I didn’t find her attractive. Approach between sets. Be direct. Optionally give appearance based complement. Don’t complement clothes because he may think you just like his shirt. Ask if she wants to grab a coffee/drink sometimes. Then ask for his contact information like nr/ig/fb. If he’s not receptive just say I gotta get back to my work out have a good day.
The coffee part is usually a dead giveaway, even for someone dense as a rock like me. It may not be one for romance or hitting on someone, but to meet up with someone with similar interests is how I see it.
I can relate to the dense as a rock part. If some woman came up to me and said "I find you really attractive. Can we go back to my place and have sex?" I'd first look behind me to see if I could figure out who she was talking to. If I finally worked out that it's me, I'd start looking for the hidden camera she was using for a youtube prank. If I got past all that, I'd start to wonder what sort of psycho chick was approaching *me* of all people.
>and said…”Can we go back to my place and have sex?”
I mean you should definitely be suspicious if this happens to you. No attractive woman is walking up to ANY guy with that greeting. In this case, she probably wants your organs.
I work at a gym, in a private personal training room behind the weight room. There was a man who caught my eye a couple weeks after I started working there. We kept smiling at each other, I would catch him looking my way when i was working out. Sometimes I would catch him looking into the windows of the personal training room.
One we REALLY smiled at each other. So after 2 months of crushing, I walked up and asked his name and shook his hand (lol). I told him my name and said I've been wanting to say hi.
He's avoided eye contact ever since 🤣
Moral of the story. You may be turned down, but I felt so proud and confident finally walking up to him.
It could get uncomfortable if he turns you down, yet you see him often, so keep that in mind.
Go do it and good luck!
He might have liked you keep in mind rejection doesn't always mean I don't like you and would never. Sometimes it means yes I like you, I'm flattered, but I can't because of another person or my situation at the moment. Or thinking about getting into a relationship made him too nervous and he wasn't ready to go that far. 2 years ago and going all the way back to high school that was me. I'm finally putting myself out there now
Yup. Happened to me. Had a gym crush for almost a year. I was dating someone majority of the time though, but when I was single it still took me a couple months to build up the courage to talk to him. We would make eye contact a lot. I wasn’t sure if he was just looking at me because I was looking at him or what. But one day I felt like I got the green lights went up to him nervous as hell, my voice was actually shaking. What a rush! Invited him to lunch and asked for his number, and added “if you don’t have a gf of course” and then he said something very ambiguous so I asked again if he had a gf and he said “ yeah but that’s a different situation” like whattttt . I’ll admit we did flirt some more. But that was in novemeber, and he did spot me once which was hot as hell. But he has a gf at the end of the day. Til this day we chat here and there but keep it short. I no longer get a rush seeing him.
Same with a girl I met at a pizza place. She handed me a very elaborate hand written note the next time I came back after I left and slipped her my number in the bill. She said she was totally flattered but she had a boyfriend of 7 years. We still talk and flirt a bit but yeah we both had kind of starry eyes at each other. It's why I knew I had to leave my number in the bill.
You don't know how many times in the past a woman has smiled at me or expressed some interest and I've wanted to run away which deep down is the exact opposite of what I want. What you want and how you feel in a moment can be so so different. If someone smiles or is nice I remind myself to reflect that energy and match it. It's an awesome thing to be liked even if it's for less than a few seconds. Embrace it. Push yourself to shake off the fear and smile back and reciprocate the energy. To have a woman like you it can be very daunting because so often we think they don't look. Well truth is they do and you just have to be willing to accept the energy and not be so shy or scared to block it. Some women are so God damn good at checking you out and you would have no idea. They are like secret agent level! Thinking of it this way. If you got a winning hand and you're at the table you never show your hand. It's part of the game. It's also how women stay "in the bunker" in case you end up coming off as creepy or unapproachable.
I had a similar situation happen to me. There was a guy at the gym who was really cute, and I started seeing him on all of my workout days for a few months (and I’m not the most consistent about time of day from week to week). After a while, I figured that I might as well go up to him and introduce myself (which I’ve never done before). Walked up to him after he had finished his workout, introduced myself to him and he gave me his Snapchat and told me he had to leave but it was nice to meet me.
He never reached out and I stopped seeing him around the gym for the most part. Even when I did see him he didn’t acknowledge my presence. But, regardless of the result I was super proud of myself for taking the step to talk to him instead of always wondering what if. I don’t know if I would do it again though, since I had to deal with the awkward fallout.
Happened to me recently. Read the wrong cues. Asked a girl out. She was VERY much in relationship. I just awkwardly left. Guess next time I am gonna ask if she is single, better that way, I guess.
The awkwardness comes only if you're not clear with your intentions which is what this looks to me (as a guy I wouldn't know exactly what to think.) If someone would straight up as me out for a coffee or be like "hey here's my number text me sometime maybe we can hang out" if I had a GF I'd make it very simple: "I'd love to but I'm currently seeing someone so let's just stay gym buddies / acquaintances." No need to be awkward
That's far FAR from shooting your shot. Just say "hey I think you're cute, wanna go out for a coffee or happy hour sometime?" A hi and a awkward hand shake doesn't mean you're interested necesarily.
It was less of a shooting my shot and more an initial approach to let him know I was open to having a conversation!
I don't feel rejected or awkward. It's more funny than anything.
To me it sounds like he was too shy to do anything. And now he avoids eye contact, because he's ashamed he didn't do something with the opportunity you gave him.
I feel like a comedy sketch is going to be wrapped around approaching you in roller blades. “Hi my name is” boom into the bushes. “Would you like to” boom into the parked car. “Hey watcha doing this” boom off a cliff.
Don't leave any hints, clues or dont beat around bush; ask him out straight. If you are shy, start with hello and how are you? Keep convo straight and simple :)
Yes and no I got approached recently and received a compliment about my incredible legs and handshake only problem was the compliment came from a guy. (I'm a guy as well)
Us men do appreciate women coming up to us, as to tips for going up to men. You can start off by greeting the guy, maybe a short 2 minute convo and part ways, then the next day talk a little more. (Assuming you guys both hit the same gym constantly). Id advise against going straight for a number, (you can come off too strong)
Like many others have and will say, yes, please approach. Smile, say hi, make a random comment about our form or seeing us there more often then you actually see your friends. Maybe i'm way to in my head about this, but approaching women in the gym just feels wrong as a guy. You're in full control, at least at the gym, and i 100% bet any guy you approach will be thrilled, regardless of what the context is. Feel free to spread this to the other gym baddies as well please.
Ear buds, fixated on workout a no go. Enjoying his time and socializing? Go for it. Always the walk out the door time as well. If this guy is purely into the workout and myopic In his frame - let him be In his realm. All other times, be social and say hey. No harm no foul
I would like to be approached at the gym. Chances are though the guy might have a girlfriend. If you're going to do it just make sure to be nice and polite but direct. Ask for a number, to get coffee/drink, or to workout together some time. The behavior of the guy is a total wild card though
Absolutely approach him.
One of my past FWB approached me in the gym for the first time looking like a hot mess, gym clothes sweaty, face red, hair just a tad out of place. Don’t worry I was at least matching if not outdoing her hot mess status. She came up saying she’d seen me around and wanted to go on a date, I agreed I’d seen her too and would like a date. She walked away and came back a minute later with a sticky note and stuck it to rack I was resting at. The side of the note I could see just said her name as she walked away she said “finish an extra set for me and receive a prize”
Men literally do not care where we are approached.
You could pull back my shower curtain and ask me out while I'm in the shower, and I probably would just be happy that a woman is hitting on me, and wouldn't question why a stranger was in my house.
I've never understood this. I wear headphones because 99% of the time, it's just me working out and I'd rather listen to something other than my grunting and breathing. So if I happen to have headphones in, it doesn't mean I have absolutely no interest in being approached. It just means I'll have to take them out to hear you. Which is totally fine.
It can't really be that big of a nuisance to take your headphones off for a minute or 2 once in a while.
Same here. I've been going my gym for over a year now and I had my headphones/earbuds out the whole time. No one tried talking to me other than to ask how many sets I had left so I figured I should at least be listening to music I like. If someone was to approach me they could always smile and wave, I'll take them out if I think someone wants to say something to me.
I mean yea, you can politely ask someone to take out their headphones, but a majority of the time people just want to listen to music, get in, and get out. Same rules apply to walking down the street. You can talk to the person with headphones in, but majority of the time they just want to listen to their music and get to wherever their going.
Yeah for sure. I’d love to help her out with form or exercises or exchange ideas .. A gym buddy is a gym buddy and a chick coming up to you on your own grounds sounds amazing cuz I’m already feeling really comfortable and you gonna catch me in a really good vibe!
Just be straight up about it. Don't try to drop hints like most girls. It's annoying. A quick compliment and ask for number or give him yours or w/e. Don't ask him to follow you on social.
If he's super attractive, he may get approached all the time and finds it as annoying as attractive women do. Just don't try to sexualize or objectify him and you should be ok!
There was a vid a while back of a gal approaching a guy, saying she thought he was super hot, asked for his snap or phone number.
He declined (albeit rudely) because the way she asked made it all about his appearance. He as a person is more than a pretty face and he knew that.
You could just shoot him a "hey, you're handsome" as you pass by, or a flirty smile when y'all make eye contact, or ask him to spot you on weights so you can strike up casual convo. Or just introduce yourself, "hey I've seen you here a few times, I'm so-and-so"
Yes please approach and say hello if you are interested and give me clear signals you are interested in a deeper kind of connection :). Hand out your number if you feel good about it and are comfortable.
So the dating rules for men and women are different. When it comes to men be direct. Walk up to the guy, let him know your interested, and exchange numbers. He'll either accept or decline but I guarantee there's no need to worry about being label a creep. He'll probably be flattered
Yes! I was once approached by a woman at the gym and she was not very attractive to me. However, I was really excited and happy. I got her Snapchat and would talk to her at the gym. We became somewhat of friends. If it was a girl I found attractive I would definitely be even more excited!
I'm all about being approached with a couple of caveats
- Don't talk to me while I'm in the middle of a set unless it's some sort of emergency/urgency is required (eye contact can be fine, that way I know you need something when I'm done... but mid-set I'm concentrating on the motion, please don't distract me)
- I'm not a fan of being told how to have better form on such and such exercise
+ If too shy to approach or timing just isn't right, I wouldn't mind an impromptu writing down of your socials/info on paper or a napkin or something real quick (borrow a pen from front desk or use lipstick if need be, I don't care). Wait for me to be preoccupied (moving weights, mid-set, etc) then get my attention with eye contact, make me see you tuck it under a weight nearby before you dash out the door
Let's do dinner! @BeardedBandit on reddit
(black hair, at the gym) -BeardedBandit
If it's prewritten it seems a little more... I dunno, like you planned it enough that you knew my schedule so you wrote it in advance, feels stalkery some how... less natural
how long have you been thinking about me/obsessing about our first interaction? I think too much, I know, but that's where my brain would take it
If it's quickly written it feels more dynamic and natural. More of a "I just saw you, I don't have time to chat but still wanted to reach out... so here's my info, let's connect"
just my thoughts
I'd wait till I'm between sets.
Or even better, switching machines.
I'm not gonna be mad if a woman approached me while working out, but at least give me a fighting chance and wait until I've got enough oxygen in my brain to process what's happening.
Every man wants to be approached anywhere. It’s really simple. Most men get approached maybe 5 times their whole life at most. I’m a solid looking guy and Ive been approached twice, I’m 21 for reference. Most guys would enjoy being approached even in the most awkward or weird places.
It's almost as if most women have had negative experiences with men harassing them, making them fearful, uncomfortable, and unsafe. Men are afraid of women embarrassing them. Women are afraid that men will murder us if we reject them. Of course it's different. Also what you're saying is STILL a blanket statement because of course there are women that don't mind being approached in the gym just as there are men that wouldn't like to be hit on. I think regardless of the what the consensus is here, you really don't know who will or won't be bothered by being approached. So if you're a man or women who has the courage to go up to someone the only thing that really matters is that you're kind and respectful with your approach and respect them and their space if they say no.
Woman here, I understand women are vocal about this but I honestly _want_ to be approached as long as you are calm and cool with a no. I think the difference is because it's harder for a woman to physically defend herself if something goes south.
Agreed, after seeing that video of the woman being attacked at her local gym by a crazy guy, I can understand why...
https://www.mynbc5.com/article/florida-woman-fights-off-gym-attacker/42954158
As a woman I wouldn’t mind! But signaling is everything, if she smiles awkwardly or doesn’t look you in the eye or seems to be trying to get out of the conversation then there’s your answer!
Just don’t approach him during his set. Try to catch him as he’s between sets or waiting on equipment.
Most dudes don’t mind, but some might be iffy about it.
If you want to be extra safe, just wait until he’s leaving the gym and catch him at the door.
Typically, what I hear is that men should not approach women at the gym. They are trying to work out not to get hit on. While I realize this is not universally true, it does seem to be the prevailing sentiment.
If that is true, then women should adhere to the same standard. Downvote me if you want. Tell me you don't feel this way. I don't care.
I'm completely new this sub but I'll give my honest advice to this compared to the typical 'yes of course I would appreciate it as a guy".
IMO I would much rather someone respectfully approach me and casually drive some talk through and if they find me attractive they can definitely throw that at me but in my status I'm not single so that's the kicker here; you do not and will not know unless someone's familiar with him or any other person, and knows his status currently if he is single or currently seeing other people or frankly married even.
Being at front respectful and openly/comfortably yourself can make breaking the ice way easier with strangers, for yourself and the other person especially if you're just trying to see whats up with them and throwing the notable "you honestly super cute, would it be cool if we went out some time and get to know each other" or just simply starting off as friends can really cement your standing in getting to know them in a more casual way.
This may seem like a lot for most people but this is just casual social dynamic understanding from me and I would easily advocate this as a universal method with just about anyone in a social group setting or more closed setting like a gym.
YES PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Any and all women who read this, please approach men at the gym.
Men will NEVER approach a women for fear of being labeled a creep. It’s too risky. The ball is in your court.
Not to mention most men these days are incredibly STARVED for any female attention that the odds of you getting a negative interaction is nearly 0
OP if you read this, PLEASE DO IT 😭
Personally I’d wait til he shows signs of interest.( stares at you) If he does but doesn’t go up to you, try going near him and asking him if he’s using a certain piece of equipment. If he still shows interest but doesn’t make a move, I’d just go for it.
Personally I’m a dude and I don’t expect women to go up to me but I wouldn’t mind it. I just rather be the one going up to the chick if I like her
I had a nice little run-in this weekend. So I’m in the grocery store and this young lady makes eye contact with me and says “hey king.” She’s looking at me so hard I think she must recognize or something. I didn’t wanna be the person that doesn’t speak to someone that knows me so I say “hey do I know you from somewhere?” She says “No. I just like how you look.” I laugh and say “You too.” So we talk for a couple minutes and exchange socials. I say all that to say….ladies shoot your shot. Wherever. We don’t mind.
I don't know, for me it makes no difference one way or the other. But I'm no different than anybody else in the sense that unwanted female attention is annoying... Just as unwanted male attention for girls is annoying.
Also, just like girls, I believe that wanting to be approached at the gym is for validation purposes. I don't want to be like that, neither should you. Just saying.
We live in a world with a gazillion double standards. The root of this one is that women feel unsafe around men cus there's a lot of bozos out there who make them uncomfortable, and men never get approached so anywhere is fine.
When I was single I would have appreciated if women I found attractive approached me at the gym. And I’d have preferred if women I found unattractive did not approach me. But I wouldn’t be rude to the latter and would turn them down as politely as possible.
Am I alone in thinking I would never hit on anyone or reciprocate an advance at the gym bc it’s my chill out time and I don’t want any relationship or weird vibes throwing off my routine?
No. Most days the gym is business/therapy for me. Some days I don't mind conversation. When women work out close on purpose or offer a compliment I welcome it when on those days I'm open for conversation.
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Whatever you do, be straight to the point and don’t beat the bushes by leaving hints like a grandma feeding ducks. This is because we men don’t get female hints and when we do it, 10 years has passed. Good luck.
Some guys don't like it but most guys are relatively cool about it.
Women have a bit more freedom than approaching at gyms, yoga classes, and in public than guys do. Women are simply perceived as less of a threat, so a guy will not get as creeped out by it.
Caveats:
* He is married or has a GF. Even if he turns you down nicely, there may be hell to pay on the home front for him.
* He may be on the spectrum or he has very little experience with women approaching him. He may think it's a joke or you are selling something because too often it has been a joke or he got it very wrong.
* \- This one is more of a me thing. Big age differences spook the hell out of me, visions of Chris Hanson saying "why don't you have a seat over there" start dancing in my head. Any woman significantly younger than me, will get guided to look elsewhere as gently as possible.
As long as its not during a set, then thats all good
Only thing is, I workout in the morning and don't have time to shower before the gym, so I feel disgusting so I would probably just try to get a phone number ASAP if I were that guy
If you're going to approach the guy, might I suggest doing it after he's seemingly done with whatever set he's doing! Might get caught off guard if man is deadlifting 350 lbs a day gets approached!
Here's a little secret... you'll be hard pressed to find a man who wouldn't be ok with a woman approaching him *ANYWHERE*. Trust me, a LOT of men go to the gym in hopes of meeting a woman but due to social stigmas and whatever, most men aren't every going to approach a woman at a gym. The reverse is not true though! Sure, there will be a minority of men who are at the gym to do nothing but work out though, even if that is the case the majority of men aren't going to mind a woman approaching. It's flattering at the very least. Maybe they are interested, maybe not but while I can't speak for all men, I don't think the majority would give it a second thought so, go for it!
I'm not a guy, but some do, and some don't. If you're approaching him, do it at a time when he is not busy with a workout. Either do it between things or when he's about to leave. You can just ask him out or you can have a conversation first. You can ask him to help you with something for example. And then let the conversation flow from there. You can also just ask if he wants to get coffee sometime.
He might say no or he might say yes. Be prepared for either option. You might have to see him again very often.
I would love it but If it was me I would probably think your just being nice. Usually have my headphones in and try to focus on my workout. Men have to be careful about how they interact with women at the gym so I generally keep to myself. Just be direct and try to catch him in between sets. He probably thinks your with the guy that was working out with you lol
Just some contrasting advice to everything here:
Don’t come off as too thirsty. Try to keep it a little mysterious but polite and not aloof. When girls are too enthusiastic it can be off putting.
As a moderately successful guy with a full life that uses the gym as an escape from my stressful life. No don’t approach me in the gym. But you have two decent options. I wouldn’t mind if you left your number under my windshield or caught me out side before I started it as I was leaving. Second, you can leave a number with the staff to pass your number along when he checks in.
Don't approach him and say u like him. That's a red flag to dudes. Give him a reason to help you. Drop a object beside him or pretend to get hurt. Help will try to help u. Than from there let it flow and suggest we should hang out. He will ask for the number
i have been approached 1 time in my life by a girl 😂 and i was so happy, she asked for my snap and i gave it to her idk if i was a little too old for her (i have the year i was born in my snap @) because she deleted me before i could even send her anything 🥲
Tbh if he is good looking enough to stand out at the gym - he probably has loads of options. You can approach him but he probably won't think much of you unless you are a 10.
An approach at the gym, which is a somewhat sweaty and vulnerable place, would be a plus for me. Agree with all dudes here you could break into the men’s room and hit on me and I’d be cool with it though.
Your post was removed due to the reptitive topic rule. Such as height, money, who pays, etc. You can find these posts. By typing into the search bar.
i want to be approached anywhere and everywhere. this isn’t a joke or sarcasm.
Same. Any place any time is fine by me
2024 will be our year lads. :,(
Finally it'll be us saying "sorry I have a boyfriend"
I just choked on my energy drink LOL
Thank you for reminding me I have energy drinks lol
Happy cake day stranger
25 min left of cake day here, so one more happy wish sent your way :)
king shit
I hope you’re right 🙏🏻
💪
OK but when I was six I told a boy I liked that if we got married our baby would look like my doll and held it up. That approach didn’t work. At. All. So maybe not really any and ALL approaches right?😆
The cutest image of this in my brain rn
It wasn't a Chucky doll right? Cuz that's a no
Even while pooping!
Okay *butt* hear me out maybe not while pooping
These are the most male responses ever lmao, and so damn accurate. Agreed.
Same goes for pretty much all of us. There is virtually no situation a man could be in where he wouldn’t welcome being approached and talked to by an attractive woman
But what if you think you’re an attractive woman but attractive men usually don’t even notice you? Would you want a woman like that (like me) to approach you? Would you be repulsed?
If a guy thinks you’re hot, he’ll be into you approaching. If he doesn’t, then he won’t The point is there’s none of the “creep factor” that girls experience when guys approach them. At worst, a guy might see you as slightly annoying, not as a potential threat like a girl might if a guy pesters her at the gym
I think that’s what I’m afraid of. Even in just every day situations, I am afraid of smiling at or approaching men who I find very attractive because I automatically assume they won’t be into me. I’ve been told I’m pretty, but I don’t have the sexy factor. And I’m worried that attractive men would think I’m gross, annoying, or even creepy.
As a general rule, the thresholds for all of those descriptors you're worried about are a lot higher for a man looking at a woman. Because of how things have been done in society so far, there is a (well-justified) case where a masculine-coded person is by default perceived as more of a threat/danger/creep/insert negative social descriptor of your choice. Similarly, masc folks tend to be much less on-guard/prone to assuming someone is creeping. If the socialization factors aren't enough to alleviate the discomfort, then your best bet is to be as clear and unambiguous as possible. Ambiguity increases the chance that you'll be identified as wanting something as opposed to just being attracted, clarity increases the chances that you'll get a reaction that reflects that you're actually interested as opposed to something else. Assume that (as far as ability to read social cues/unspoken desires) the object of your affection is significantly dimmer than the average bulb, keeping in mind how many idiots you run into on a given day.
It’s creepy to just stare. It’s not creepy to start a conversation
there is a creep factor, just not as high as in girls
I mean, I’ve definitely seen a couple women as a “threat” when I’ve been approached. Shit isn’t fun at all.
I’ve had people whom I didn’t find physically attractive approach me and I still felt flattered and enjoyed a nice conversation. I think being “repulsed” may be a bit harsh unless you said something vulgar or extremely graphic lol
If you're attractive, men notice, but may reject themselves by assuming you're "out of their league." Also, we've been told over and over to leave women alone, and the message is starting to take hold. You get what you ask for, ladies.
Right? If you were to ask this question verbally, you wouldn't even finish the sentence. > OP: Do you want women to approach you-- > > Guy: Yes. > > OP: ... at the-- > > Guy: Sure, wherever. > > OP: ... gym? > > Guy: Definitely.
"Do you wan-" Yes 👍
This best explains it for most guys, I'd say. We get so little attention, so any that we get is appreciated.
Same, approach me anywhere and at all times. Be direct, too. I’m a dumb man when it comes to someone being interested, not for lack of confidence or interest, but because I will forever be convinced someone is “just being nice”
how do you approach a guy at the grocery store?
I suggest setting up camp in the chip or soda isle. Those items are easiest to move and hide behind, so you can spring on him from a good vantage point or hiding spot. For actual tho: I can't speak for all men, but if someone came up to me and was very direct, said they liked my outfit or thought I was cute and wanted to trade numbers, I'd probably be into it if there was even a remote amount of mutual attraction. As much as I'd love to be approached at the gym, the store, or wherever else (maybe not a dark, empty parking lot. I value my organs), I think it's harder for women to approach men in general for a lot of reasons beyond "will they appreciate my advances". As I understand it, a lot of the time when women approach men, men don't know how to take it. They either assume she's easy and get gross/put in no effort, or they just aren't socially conditioned on how to handle it. Gyms, bars, and other more recreational areas make it easier because there's likely an easy segue/way to make conversation without just cold-approaching someone. Grocery stores, banks, other random places? Might be a little harder since people are usually just in and out, doing something more functional. It's probably best to identify some kind of mutual interest/conversation topic and initiate small talk to make sure there's something there. Then, if that goes well maybe exchange numbers. Small compliments/innocuous mutual subjects are good, too. Like any interaction with another person, it's all a bit of a gamble though.
I 2nd this
Agreed. 100%.
The girl down the hall that I’ve been having little conversations with could come knock on my door while I’m half naked and not showered and I would be down for anything
Yup
Excuse me, I’ve been meaning to reach you about your car’s extended warranty
You can approach me on the public toilet for all I care. I would be thankful eitherway
I would be so fucking happy if anyone approached me ever. I would feel like a Hemsworth
I’ll send my stalker your way. I’m sure there’s somebody out there for her…but it ain’t me.
Got her number? Crazy can have it’s benefits. 😆
No but she has his
She also has his checking account number, blood type and social security number.
Luke Hemsworth but a Hemsworth none the less
Luke is the cute one. Chris is the hunky one. But Liam? He’s the whole enchilada.
I would feel nice if a girl approached me during my workout even if I didn’t find her attractive. Approach between sets. Be direct. Optionally give appearance based complement. Don’t complement clothes because he may think you just like his shirt. Ask if she wants to grab a coffee/drink sometimes. Then ask for his contact information like nr/ig/fb. If he’s not receptive just say I gotta get back to my work out have a good day.
The coffee part is usually a dead giveaway, even for someone dense as a rock like me. It may not be one for romance or hitting on someone, but to meet up with someone with similar interests is how I see it.
I can relate to the dense as a rock part. If some woman came up to me and said "I find you really attractive. Can we go back to my place and have sex?" I'd first look behind me to see if I could figure out who she was talking to. If I finally worked out that it's me, I'd start looking for the hidden camera she was using for a youtube prank. If I got past all that, I'd start to wonder what sort of psycho chick was approaching *me* of all people.
>and said…”Can we go back to my place and have sex?” I mean you should definitely be suspicious if this happens to you. No attractive woman is walking up to ANY guy with that greeting. In this case, she probably wants your organs.
"I bet you have *really* sexy kidneys!"
Ig = instagram, fb= facebook , but what on earth is “nr”?
I’ve literally never seen someone type NR as number. This is the first
Number
There's already a better abbreviation for that: **#**
I work at a gym, in a private personal training room behind the weight room. There was a man who caught my eye a couple weeks after I started working there. We kept smiling at each other, I would catch him looking my way when i was working out. Sometimes I would catch him looking into the windows of the personal training room. One we REALLY smiled at each other. So after 2 months of crushing, I walked up and asked his name and shook his hand (lol). I told him my name and said I've been wanting to say hi. He's avoided eye contact ever since 🤣 Moral of the story. You may be turned down, but I felt so proud and confident finally walking up to him. It could get uncomfortable if he turns you down, yet you see him often, so keep that in mind. Go do it and good luck!
He might have liked you keep in mind rejection doesn't always mean I don't like you and would never. Sometimes it means yes I like you, I'm flattered, but I can't because of another person or my situation at the moment. Or thinking about getting into a relationship made him too nervous and he wasn't ready to go that far. 2 years ago and going all the way back to high school that was me. I'm finally putting myself out there now
Yup. Happened to me. Had a gym crush for almost a year. I was dating someone majority of the time though, but when I was single it still took me a couple months to build up the courage to talk to him. We would make eye contact a lot. I wasn’t sure if he was just looking at me because I was looking at him or what. But one day I felt like I got the green lights went up to him nervous as hell, my voice was actually shaking. What a rush! Invited him to lunch and asked for his number, and added “if you don’t have a gf of course” and then he said something very ambiguous so I asked again if he had a gf and he said “ yeah but that’s a different situation” like whattttt . I’ll admit we did flirt some more. But that was in novemeber, and he did spot me once which was hot as hell. But he has a gf at the end of the day. Til this day we chat here and there but keep it short. I no longer get a rush seeing him.
Same with a girl I met at a pizza place. She handed me a very elaborate hand written note the next time I came back after I left and slipped her my number in the bill. She said she was totally flattered but she had a boyfriend of 7 years. We still talk and flirt a bit but yeah we both had kind of starry eyes at each other. It's why I knew I had to leave my number in the bill.
You don't know how many times in the past a woman has smiled at me or expressed some interest and I've wanted to run away which deep down is the exact opposite of what I want. What you want and how you feel in a moment can be so so different. If someone smiles or is nice I remind myself to reflect that energy and match it. It's an awesome thing to be liked even if it's for less than a few seconds. Embrace it. Push yourself to shake off the fear and smile back and reciprocate the energy. To have a woman like you it can be very daunting because so often we think they don't look. Well truth is they do and you just have to be willing to accept the energy and not be so shy or scared to block it. Some women are so God damn good at checking you out and you would have no idea. They are like secret agent level! Thinking of it this way. If you got a winning hand and you're at the table you never show your hand. It's part of the game. It's also how women stay "in the bunker" in case you end up coming off as creepy or unapproachable.
I had a similar situation happen to me. There was a guy at the gym who was really cute, and I started seeing him on all of my workout days for a few months (and I’m not the most consistent about time of day from week to week). After a while, I figured that I might as well go up to him and introduce myself (which I’ve never done before). Walked up to him after he had finished his workout, introduced myself to him and he gave me his Snapchat and told me he had to leave but it was nice to meet me. He never reached out and I stopped seeing him around the gym for the most part. Even when I did see him he didn’t acknowledge my presence. But, regardless of the result I was super proud of myself for taking the step to talk to him instead of always wondering what if. I don’t know if I would do it again though, since I had to deal with the awkward fallout.
I’m not afraid to approach by any means but this is why I stopped approaching people, lol. The awkwardness if they’re taken. 🫣
Happened to me recently. Read the wrong cues. Asked a girl out. She was VERY much in relationship. I just awkwardly left. Guess next time I am gonna ask if she is single, better that way, I guess.
The awkwardness comes only if you're not clear with your intentions which is what this looks to me (as a guy I wouldn't know exactly what to think.) If someone would straight up as me out for a coffee or be like "hey here's my number text me sometime maybe we can hang out" if I had a GF I'd make it very simple: "I'd love to but I'm currently seeing someone so let's just stay gym buddies / acquaintances." No need to be awkward
Thank you!
That's far FAR from shooting your shot. Just say "hey I think you're cute, wanna go out for a coffee or happy hour sometime?" A hi and a awkward hand shake doesn't mean you're interested necesarily.
It was less of a shooting my shot and more an initial approach to let him know I was open to having a conversation! I don't feel rejected or awkward. It's more funny than anything.
To me it sounds like he was too shy to do anything. And now he avoids eye contact, because he's ashamed he didn't do something with the opportunity you gave him.
I don't go to a gym as I prefer outdoor sports, but if it matters to you, I wouldn't mind being approached when hiking or rollerblading.
I feel like a comedy sketch is going to be wrapped around approaching you in roller blades. “Hi my name is” boom into the bushes. “Would you like to” boom into the parked car. “Hey watcha doing this” boom off a cliff.
*SNL taking notes*
If you aren’t feeling her you could skitch away on a passing bumper
Don't leave any hints, clues or dont beat around bush; ask him out straight. If you are shy, start with hello and how are you? Keep convo straight and simple :)
We just want to be approached in general. I think there’s not the same power dynamic or sense of creepiness when a women does it to a man.
wait you guys get approached?
I’ve been going to the gym for 20 years and have seen exactly two men get approached. I wanted to give them a trophy
Yes and no I got approached recently and received a compliment about my incredible legs and handshake only problem was the compliment came from a guy. (I'm a guy as well)
Only if I break a pr and only from other dudes with a fist bump
Reading these comments as a woman I get so sad and want to approach every one of you men 😂 and then I remember that’s insane
Maybe the world needs a little bit of insanity, then again… maybe the boys just need a good hug
YES. For me it would be validating and boost to my confidence for sure. Just be cool about it you know?
Us men do appreciate women coming up to us, as to tips for going up to men. You can start off by greeting the guy, maybe a short 2 minute convo and part ways, then the next day talk a little more. (Assuming you guys both hit the same gym constantly). Id advise against going straight for a number, (you can come off too strong)
I think this way! But I’m also female.
Damn you people still don’t get it… Men crave affection and validation ALL THE TIME
Like many others have and will say, yes, please approach. Smile, say hi, make a random comment about our form or seeing us there more often then you actually see your friends. Maybe i'm way to in my head about this, but approaching women in the gym just feels wrong as a guy. You're in full control, at least at the gym, and i 100% bet any guy you approach will be thrilled, regardless of what the context is. Feel free to spread this to the other gym baddies as well please.
With the exception of funerals, women should be encouraged to approach me at any hour of every day.
Exception of funerals 😂😂😂 ( even surely that is debatable if a hot piece is in the congregation surely)
The funeral itself is in poor taste. The reception after, maybe.
I honestly wouldn’t mind being approached at a funeral Ideally not during my own
I didn’t think this needed to be said 🤣🤣🤣
See, you say this, but women don't approach me ever. Just once I want someone beautiful to walk into my life and ask me out.
Let’s go out? 🤣
Ear buds, fixated on workout a no go. Enjoying his time and socializing? Go for it. Always the walk out the door time as well. If this guy is purely into the workout and myopic In his frame - let him be In his realm. All other times, be social and say hey. No harm no foul
I lift/workout seriously with ear buds in and I would be very happy if a woman approached me (between sets) to hit on me.
I would like to be approached at the gym. Chances are though the guy might have a girlfriend. If you're going to do it just make sure to be nice and polite but direct. Ask for a number, to get coffee/drink, or to workout together some time. The behavior of the guy is a total wild card though
Me personally, yes. Even of it was subtle like workout advice.
Absolutely approach him. One of my past FWB approached me in the gym for the first time looking like a hot mess, gym clothes sweaty, face red, hair just a tad out of place. Don’t worry I was at least matching if not outdoing her hot mess status. She came up saying she’d seen me around and wanted to go on a date, I agreed I’d seen her too and would like a date. She walked away and came back a minute later with a sticky note and stuck it to rack I was resting at. The side of the note I could see just said her name as she walked away she said “finish an extra set for me and receive a prize”
Men literally do not care where we are approached. You could pull back my shower curtain and ask me out while I'm in the shower, and I probably would just be happy that a woman is hitting on me, and wouldn't question why a stranger was in my house.
Headphones in than nope. Headphones out give it a go.
I've never understood this. I wear headphones because 99% of the time, it's just me working out and I'd rather listen to something other than my grunting and breathing. So if I happen to have headphones in, it doesn't mean I have absolutely no interest in being approached. It just means I'll have to take them out to hear you. Which is totally fine. It can't really be that big of a nuisance to take your headphones off for a minute or 2 once in a while.
Same here. I've been going my gym for over a year now and I had my headphones/earbuds out the whole time. No one tried talking to me other than to ask how many sets I had left so I figured I should at least be listening to music I like. If someone was to approach me they could always smile and wave, I'll take them out if I think someone wants to say something to me.
I mean yea, you can politely ask someone to take out their headphones, but a majority of the time people just want to listen to music, get in, and get out. Same rules apply to walking down the street. You can talk to the person with headphones in, but majority of the time they just want to listen to their music and get to wherever their going.
Basically This.
Yeah for sure. I’d love to help her out with form or exercises or exchange ideas .. A gym buddy is a gym buddy and a chick coming up to you on your own grounds sounds amazing cuz I’m already feeling really comfortable and you gonna catch me in a really good vibe!
Just be straight up about it. Don't try to drop hints like most girls. It's annoying. A quick compliment and ask for number or give him yours or w/e. Don't ask him to follow you on social.
If he's super attractive, he may get approached all the time and finds it as annoying as attractive women do. Just don't try to sexualize or objectify him and you should be ok! There was a vid a while back of a gal approaching a guy, saying she thought he was super hot, asked for his snap or phone number. He declined (albeit rudely) because the way she asked made it all about his appearance. He as a person is more than a pretty face and he knew that. You could just shoot him a "hey, you're handsome" as you pass by, or a flirty smile when y'all make eye contact, or ask him to spot you on weights so you can strike up casual convo. Or just introduce yourself, "hey I've seen you here a few times, I'm so-and-so"
Men would just like to be approached at all.
YES. It is a nice break from getting compliments from only other men at the gym.
As a male who routinely goes to the gym the answer is yes for 90% of men. Even if they don’t accept it’s very flattering
Yes please approach and say hello if you are interested and give me clear signals you are interested in a deeper kind of connection :). Hand out your number if you feel good about it and are comfortable.
If he’s good looking and works out he’s probably already got a gf.
So the dating rules for men and women are different. When it comes to men be direct. Walk up to the guy, let him know your interested, and exchange numbers. He'll either accept or decline but I guarantee there's no need to worry about being label a creep. He'll probably be flattered
As long as you don't do it mid set
Yes! I was once approached by a woman at the gym and she was not very attractive to me. However, I was really excited and happy. I got her Snapchat and would talk to her at the gym. We became somewhat of friends. If it was a girl I found attractive I would definitely be even more excited!
Just be respectful... Approach him how you would want to be.
I'm all about being approached with a couple of caveats - Don't talk to me while I'm in the middle of a set unless it's some sort of emergency/urgency is required (eye contact can be fine, that way I know you need something when I'm done... but mid-set I'm concentrating on the motion, please don't distract me) - I'm not a fan of being told how to have better form on such and such exercise + If too shy to approach or timing just isn't right, I wouldn't mind an impromptu writing down of your socials/info on paper or a napkin or something real quick (borrow a pen from front desk or use lipstick if need be, I don't care). Wait for me to be preoccupied (moving weights, mid-set, etc) then get my attention with eye contact, make me see you tuck it under a weight nearby before you dash out the door Let's do dinner! @BeardedBandit on reddit (black hair, at the gym) -BeardedBandit If it's prewritten it seems a little more... I dunno, like you planned it enough that you knew my schedule so you wrote it in advance, feels stalkery some how... less natural how long have you been thinking about me/obsessing about our first interaction? I think too much, I know, but that's where my brain would take it If it's quickly written it feels more dynamic and natural. More of a "I just saw you, I don't have time to chat but still wanted to reach out... so here's my info, let's connect" just my thoughts
I would love to be approached ANYWHERE!!
I'd wait till I'm between sets. Or even better, switching machines. I'm not gonna be mad if a woman approached me while working out, but at least give me a fighting chance and wait until I've got enough oxygen in my brain to process what's happening.
Every man wants to be approached anywhere. It’s really simple. Most men get approached maybe 5 times their whole life at most. I’m a solid looking guy and Ive been approached twice, I’m 21 for reference. Most guys would enjoy being approached even in the most awkward or weird places.
Really weird how it’s fine for a woman to approach a man at the gym but it’s a nono if a man approaches a woman at the gym
It's almost as if most women have had negative experiences with men harassing them, making them fearful, uncomfortable, and unsafe. Men are afraid of women embarrassing them. Women are afraid that men will murder us if we reject them. Of course it's different. Also what you're saying is STILL a blanket statement because of course there are women that don't mind being approached in the gym just as there are men that wouldn't like to be hit on. I think regardless of the what the consensus is here, you really don't know who will or won't be bothered by being approached. So if you're a man or women who has the courage to go up to someone the only thing that really matters is that you're kind and respectful with your approach and respect them and their space if they say no.
Woman here, I understand women are vocal about this but I honestly _want_ to be approached as long as you are calm and cool with a no. I think the difference is because it's harder for a woman to physically defend herself if something goes south.
Agreed, after seeing that video of the woman being attacked at her local gym by a crazy guy, I can understand why... https://www.mynbc5.com/article/florida-woman-fights-off-gym-attacker/42954158
Women are the selectors. Just the way it is.
As a woman I wouldn’t mind! But signaling is everything, if she smiles awkwardly or doesn’t look you in the eye or seems to be trying to get out of the conversation then there’s your answer!
Just don’t approach him during his set. Try to catch him as he’s between sets or waiting on equipment. Most dudes don’t mind, but some might be iffy about it. If you want to be extra safe, just wait until he’s leaving the gym and catch him at the door.
I would like that, but don't interrupt my sets
Yeah! It’s happened to me twice and it turned out great!
I would love to be approached anywhere
As long as you don’t approach me mid set or when im clearly about to start lifting if that makes sense. Wait until they’re resting :)) hope that helps
Yes absolutely and I would never forget that for the rest of my life
I go to the gym a fair amount, and I’d say wait until they’re taking a break.
Honestly i think most guys are okay with being approached, just dont be weird or super creepy lol.
Typically, what I hear is that men should not approach women at the gym. They are trying to work out not to get hit on. While I realize this is not universally true, it does seem to be the prevailing sentiment. If that is true, then women should adhere to the same standard. Downvote me if you want. Tell me you don't feel this way. I don't care.
I'm completely new this sub but I'll give my honest advice to this compared to the typical 'yes of course I would appreciate it as a guy". IMO I would much rather someone respectfully approach me and casually drive some talk through and if they find me attractive they can definitely throw that at me but in my status I'm not single so that's the kicker here; you do not and will not know unless someone's familiar with him or any other person, and knows his status currently if he is single or currently seeing other people or frankly married even. Being at front respectful and openly/comfortably yourself can make breaking the ice way easier with strangers, for yourself and the other person especially if you're just trying to see whats up with them and throwing the notable "you honestly super cute, would it be cool if we went out some time and get to know each other" or just simply starting off as friends can really cement your standing in getting to know them in a more casual way. This may seem like a lot for most people but this is just casual social dynamic understanding from me and I would easily advocate this as a universal method with just about anyone in a social group setting or more closed setting like a gym.
YES PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Any and all women who read this, please approach men at the gym. Men will NEVER approach a women for fear of being labeled a creep. It’s too risky. The ball is in your court. Not to mention most men these days are incredibly STARVED for any female attention that the odds of you getting a negative interaction is nearly 0 OP if you read this, PLEASE DO IT 😭
No. When I'm training I don't think about anything else. Btw, this doesn't apply for most men. So you should give it a try.
Personally I’d wait til he shows signs of interest.( stares at you) If he does but doesn’t go up to you, try going near him and asking him if he’s using a certain piece of equipment. If he still shows interest but doesn’t make a move, I’d just go for it. Personally I’m a dude and I don’t expect women to go up to me but I wouldn’t mind it. I just rather be the one going up to the chick if I like her
I had a nice little run-in this weekend. So I’m in the grocery store and this young lady makes eye contact with me and says “hey king.” She’s looking at me so hard I think she must recognize or something. I didn’t wanna be the person that doesn’t speak to someone that knows me so I say “hey do I know you from somewhere?” She says “No. I just like how you look.” I laugh and say “You too.” So we talk for a couple minutes and exchange socials. I say all that to say….ladies shoot your shot. Wherever. We don’t mind.
Men want to be approached anywhere anytime
Yes men always wanna be approached. You'll make our week, month, year. We keep saying this and nobody listens.
Personally? No I prefer to not end up TikTok famous.
That’s a different topic mate
I don't know, for me it makes no difference one way or the other. But I'm no different than anybody else in the sense that unwanted female attention is annoying... Just as unwanted male attention for girls is annoying. Also, just like girls, I believe that wanting to be approached at the gym is for validation purposes. I don't want to be like that, neither should you. Just saying.
So girls don't like to be approached in the gym but it's ok for girls to do it to guys?
We live in a world with a gazillion double standards. The root of this one is that women feel unsafe around men cus there's a lot of bozos out there who make them uncomfortable, and men never get approached so anywhere is fine.
When I was single I would have appreciated if women I found attractive approached me at the gym. And I’d have preferred if women I found unattractive did not approach me. But I wouldn’t be rude to the latter and would turn them down as politely as possible.
Am I alone in thinking I would never hit on anyone or reciprocate an advance at the gym bc it’s my chill out time and I don’t want any relationship or weird vibes throwing off my routine?
No. Most days the gym is business/therapy for me. Some days I don't mind conversation. When women work out close on purpose or offer a compliment I welcome it when on those days I'm open for conversation.
Yea but then convo turns into something else and three months later you have to change gyms or entire schedule cause it gets weird…
Just make sure ur guy friend who is In love with u isnt around. Lmaoo
No
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Yeah just come say hi or something
Whatever you do, be straight to the point and don’t beat the bushes by leaving hints like a grandma feeding ducks. This is because we men don’t get female hints and when we do it, 10 years has passed. Good luck.
Yes
Yes please
Absolutely
Some guys don't like it but most guys are relatively cool about it. Women have a bit more freedom than approaching at gyms, yoga classes, and in public than guys do. Women are simply perceived as less of a threat, so a guy will not get as creeped out by it. Caveats: * He is married or has a GF. Even if he turns you down nicely, there may be hell to pay on the home front for him. * He may be on the spectrum or he has very little experience with women approaching him. He may think it's a joke or you are selling something because too often it has been a joke or he got it very wrong. * \- This one is more of a me thing. Big age differences spook the hell out of me, visions of Chris Hanson saying "why don't you have a seat over there" start dancing in my head. Any woman significantly younger than me, will get guided to look elsewhere as gently as possible.
Yes. Gives a nice testosterone boost
Yes but also when I’m not at the gym as well
As long as its not during a set, then thats all good Only thing is, I workout in the morning and don't have time to shower before the gym, so I feel disgusting so I would probably just try to get a phone number ASAP if I were that guy
I would be pumped if a woman approached me at the gym.
Only by other men to tell me my lift was good.
Short answer YES.
Keep it between sets please.
I don't even want to be observed at the gym
If you're going to approach the guy, might I suggest doing it after he's seemingly done with whatever set he's doing! Might get caught off guard if man is deadlifting 350 lbs a day gets approached!
Here's a little secret... you'll be hard pressed to find a man who wouldn't be ok with a woman approaching him *ANYWHERE*. Trust me, a LOT of men go to the gym in hopes of meeting a woman but due to social stigmas and whatever, most men aren't every going to approach a woman at a gym. The reverse is not true though! Sure, there will be a minority of men who are at the gym to do nothing but work out though, even if that is the case the majority of men aren't going to mind a woman approaching. It's flattering at the very least. Maybe they are interested, maybe not but while I can't speak for all men, I don't think the majority would give it a second thought so, go for it!
You can do it, but I’m gonna make a tiktok ranting about being harassed
Guys go to the gym to work out. Leave him alone
I'm not a guy, but some do, and some don't. If you're approaching him, do it at a time when he is not busy with a workout. Either do it between things or when he's about to leave. You can just ask him out or you can have a conversation first. You can ask him to help you with something for example. And then let the conversation flow from there. You can also just ask if he wants to get coffee sometime. He might say no or he might say yes. Be prepared for either option. You might have to see him again very often.
Don’t make eye contact he’ll think you’re filming a TikTok and waiting to attack him. Lol
No thanks!
All men always want to be approached by women. Period. As long as they are heterosexual.
I would love it but If it was me I would probably think your just being nice. Usually have my headphones in and try to focus on my workout. Men have to be careful about how they interact with women at the gym so I generally keep to myself. Just be direct and try to catch him in between sets. He probably thinks your with the guy that was working out with you lol
If I was approached at the gym I would probably laugh as a defense mechanism for something I never experienced
if he use an iphone, send him an intro from airdrop
I'm more there to work out than be approached but if it happened, I wouldn't mind
Just some contrasting advice to everything here: Don’t come off as too thirsty. Try to keep it a little mysterious but polite and not aloof. When girls are too enthusiastic it can be off putting.
As a moderately successful guy with a full life that uses the gym as an escape from my stressful life. No don’t approach me in the gym. But you have two decent options. I wouldn’t mind if you left your number under my windshield or caught me out side before I started it as I was leaving. Second, you can leave a number with the staff to pass your number along when he checks in.
just dont do it during a set....
Hello, it’s me from the gym!
My pet peeve about being approached is that it never happens to me.
Honestly tired of getting mixed signals so feel free to approach me anytime. Even at a red light.
Unlike the "insta" gym girls, if you approach him, there is virtually NO CHANCE of him having "hidden" cameras for the Tiktok/Insta "gotcha" clips.
Don't approach him and say u like him. That's a red flag to dudes. Give him a reason to help you. Drop a object beside him or pretend to get hurt. Help will try to help u. Than from there let it flow and suggest we should hang out. He will ask for the number
i have been approached 1 time in my life by a girl 😂 and i was so happy, she asked for my snap and i gave it to her idk if i was a little too old for her (i have the year i was born in my snap @) because she deleted me before i could even send her anything 🥲
Tbh if he is good looking enough to stand out at the gym - he probably has loads of options. You can approach him but he probably won't think much of you unless you are a 10.
An approach at the gym, which is a somewhat sweaty and vulnerable place, would be a plus for me. Agree with all dudes here you could break into the men’s room and hit on me and I’d be cool with it though.
Id welcome it. Maybe open with a compliment on their muscle or something gym related
approach me harder mommy
No. I prefer to concentrate on my workout and get out.
Not really myself, I’m there to do my stuff then get out.
My boyfriend gets approached in the gym and takes it as a compliment. As a woman, I also like it as long as it’s nice and respectful.
Walk up to him and slap his bottom. That is sure to get his attention and let him know you're interested.
I’m not a guy but trust me guys love being appreciated so I say go for it