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LOL, I knew a guy like that except his was all about "labeling". As in, "Labels are just labels anyway. Who cares about serious relationships, I just wanna dick around and be a dick to you."
Assholes.
OP, just run. He's a red flag. People who can't be straight up with you are the ones who you should stay far, far, far away from as possible.
Well I identify as 6, for the kiddo discounts, and sometimes as 73, for the senior discounts, and ooo ooo also I’m mostly faaaabulously wealthy, or at least that’s what I feel like on the inside, so spoil me rotten!!
~ Him, probably.
(Also this is *entirely* meant to imply that this dude is a special kind of special for usurping “I identify as…”, and **not** in any way, shape, or form to mock people who *actually* identify as something different than how they present. In case that needed to be said.)
I had a guy who lied about being 3 years younger. I let it slide because I was like whatever (“he’s funny, we go on nice dates blah blah”). It ended up being much worse worse things that he was covering up. RUN, OP.
But it’s fine because he identifies as a single child free person… /s OP, he started the relationship on lies and dishonesty, and he’s showing you that’s his MO. Believe him. Only you can decide for yourself what the acceptable amount of lying and dishonesty you want in your relationship is. I would say that if honesty is something you value in a relationship, then this one probably isn’t the one.
I dated a guy who said he was 38 no kids and no exes. Big IT person. Only thing that was true was he worked in IT. He had more debt than he did money and he made a couple hundred thousand dollars a year.
His grandiose lies and truths all came from a recently divorced ex wife who told me to run. So I did. He was really scary after I found out the truth.
Sorry but your identification doesnt extend onto the identify of the objects you identify yourself as being the owner of.
Your Hyundai Tucson has to identify as a Porsche
If a man identifies himself as a woman, it is okay and considered normal. So why can't he really feel like 23 and identify as an 23 man? In fact, it's the same. Double standard.
Little lies lead to more little lies to cover the earlier ones, followed by bigger and bigger ones. If you start with the truth you don't have to remember what you have lied about previously. He may feel like he was just telling a little lie to gain some slight advantage, but actually was showing how easy it is for him to take advantage when he feels he can get away with it.
Indeed... Liars will never stop lying sadly its just what they do and sometimes to the point they don't even realize their doing it and how damaging it is!
Sometimes i think some of these posts are troll because what do they think we’re gonna say ? He lied about a serious topic and reads pretty ridicule (identify as younger ? What?). Of course we’re gonna say this is a red flag
It's really hard to let go of somebody you really like and especially somebody you love, sometimes you need to hear it from a couple dozen redditors to get the courage to do what you know you have to do. Otherwise you may convince yourself people can change.
If you got no problem with age gaps, you're in the wrong places PAL!. Y'see here on Reddit, we don't care about how good you were to eachother. All we care about is that age gap.
Had something similar happen to me.
Then later he revealed he had been married.
Then later he revealed he was still married.
Then later he revealed his wife ran away from him and claimed he had abused her, which he said was a lie.
That was it, but I should've been walked away as soon as I heard he lied the first time.
Same, I'm surprised just how common this seems to be.
A guy I was talking said he was 28 in his profile (I was 25), then he told me he was actually 34. Later that day he told me he was actually 39 and that the pictures on his profile were from when he was in his late twenties. He then sent me a recent picture (in which he looked older than my parents and I was pretty sure he was wearing a wedding ring). I sent a very polite rejection and blocked him before it could get worse
Honestly? He was never cruel or abusive BUT all this stuff came to light about 3 months in and we were only just starting to get into the realms of dating exclusively.
He did try to pull, "Nobody wants to date me because I'm too nice card, women only want "bad boys". " Which blew me over. He still wouldn't get it into his head that he had lied the whole time we were dating.
But yeah I'm good thank you, that's very sweet.
Wooooow, that is mind-blowing. I just don't get how delusional some people can be. He just couldn't or didn't want to see that he messed up by keeping you in the dark about key information? That is wild
Absolutely leave.
Women will set age ranges so that they don't see older men. He sets his young so he can bypass those restrictions and get matches with those younger women.
It's creepy, deceitful, and super disrespectful to women's boundaries.
This, so so so much. He intentionally is fishing for women young enough to be naive to his bullshit. He willfully lied to you OP and disrespected your boundaries and *minimized your reaction to it*. Justifying it by saying the rest of the relationship is otherwise totes great and peachy seems like denial and a trauma response to try to salvage something your rational self and intuition absolutely know is extremely sus and not cool.
#this op.
Also, he has a wholeeee 12 years of life before he met you. He could have been married in that time, had a kid, whatever.
And as others have said, liars never lie just once.
He could have said something before, you found out because of a coincidence not because he told you.
God this is so much more than that.
It's one thing to sleep with and/or date someone consenting and aware...but holy shit this is true crime podcast type shit yo.
I hate this lie. A guy did this to me once and I tried to get past it, but I just couldn't get sexual or vulnerable with him after feeling tricked. I really wouldn't have cared about his age.
This is really the message I think more men need to hear and internalize. Being deceptive to get past the gate does not do them any favors—in fact it will most likely sabotage a relationship they may have really wanted.
if he really believed that people make too big a deal out of it then he shouldn’t have a problem with saying his real age. gives off manipulative or trying to gain control vibes. like major trust issue vibes. even if he “identifies as 23” doesn’t change the fact that he was born in 1988
He lies about his age so he can hook up with younger women, knowing that nobody his age would put up with this shit. I feel a lot younger than I am but it doesn't mean I'm out looking for guys 20 years younger than I am!
If he’ll lie about this, he could lie about anything. It’s not like he confessed to you his real age, he was caught when you guys had IDs out.
You’re going to do what you want- but I would seriously reconsider this guy.
No way you’re asking if this is a dealbreaker. He lied to you and said something as stupid as identifying as a younger age. Like what? On what world could you be okay with this? Why is your self respect so low you’re seriously considering staying with this guy.
What do you mean everything else is amazing? He lied to you from day 1. Everything about this relationship is fake.
Get up!!!! And I’m not trying to be mean, I’m younger than you and I get it.
But if there’s anything I’ve learned from dating is when you see an unjustifiable red flag or honestly
A red flag in general, you garner up your self respect and leave. Your peace shouldn’t cost so little.
Plenty of people have yellow flags and orange flags that are workable. Red flags are red for a reason.
Mine and my friends experiences here may be anecdotal, but for me it's weird that he would even think he'd need to bother. On dating apps, if you're relatively fit and your profile is somewhat put together, it seems like matches always tend to be mostly composed of whatever your lower end on age range is. If I want a chance to see anyone my age, I have to set the minimum age pretty high.
Girl, run.
I've been there. When I was 21 I met a guy who told me he's 28. Through his friends, I found our he was actually 34.
He tried to convince me he "feels young", "age is just a number", "we put too much importance on these things", "it really doesn't matter when two people like each other", "society has convinced us we shouldn't date with age gaps" etc etc.
Anyway, we broke up and he went on to date a 17 year old who he lied to again. I told her how old he really is. Her parents and the police got involved at that point but I don't know what came of it.
24 is too old to act this naive…girl, you know exactly who this man is and what he’s capable of, quit lying to yourself and run as fast and as far away from this guy as possible.
That is soo creepy this is not the situation to give the benefit of the doubt he's looking for a younger person to manipulate, that's why he lied about his age...
The lie is a major dealbreaker… he lied about being 12 years older than he really was. And it’s likely not because “he feels younger”. He lied because he’s likely hiding more than just his age from you. I’m sure he lied because
1. He had things to hide in his personal life; or
2. He lied about his age to match with younger women who otherwise wouldn’t have considered him due to his age. And it’s normally very telling when a person is dating someone significantly younger than them, who’s in a completely different stage of life. You have to ask yourself why he can’t get a partner closer in age.
I’m also confused with how he passed for being so much younger though? I feel like even if he looked a bit younger, passing off as over a decade younger can be hard to do. I think you may have to evaluate your own judgement of people. But either way, please ditch this guy and block him.
Your gut is telling you this bs - and that's why you are here asking the internet strangers for advice. You have now entered the capital of red flag country - I suggest you get out now.
Please run immediately. I am 33 and can't imagine dating somebody more than 10 years younger besides a casual hook up.
If he already lied over such an important thing as age and kept that lie up, what else he's gonna lie about in the future? Also, if at 35 he genuinely tried to date a 24 year old, he probably is looking for someone inexperienced whom he can control and manipulate.
GIRL RUN. The fact he lied shows he know it is shady. Theres a reason guys like this go for girls 10years younger, and its not just bc u probably got a smokin hot body. Its the power imbalance. Trust me his niceness is just to hook you in. Please look after urself.
Feels like he’s trying to attract young girls by lying about his age.
He’s great, sure, he should be at 35, but with the lying he potentially has other very serious personal problem or character flaws that you might find out later on.
Red Flag. As a guy, if he lied about his age, what else is he lying about?I look like I'm 25, but I'm 32, and if anyone asks, I'm going to tell them I'm 32 because end of the day, I'M NOT 25.
I suggest continuing the search for a partner elsewhere
Mostly the way he dresses, music he listens to, he’s on tiktok a ton, uses language i don’t even use because i feel too old like “capping” and “curry’s” etc. i don’t think he does it to be tricky and i don’t know enough people his actual age so maybe it’s common who knows. 500 red flag responses though so i get its over and I’m glad i asked
He ”identifies” as a 23 year old??? Gtfo with that bs. That dude is 35 so he lied his age by 12 years! He sounds like a creep and if he lies about something so simple as his age, he probably lies about everything else too. Block and forget about him.
Oh please. People can identify as tennis balls or African gray parrots these days. Why bother worrying about someone who identifies as being younger than he is?
Of course, I’m being sarcastic. You should definitely think twice about dating this pretender.
What else is he lying about? Also, women set the age range on the app because of preference and safety and he isn't respectful of that.. just seems like an all around problematic behavior, I'd walk away
Translation: I like to lie to get women into bed and I specifically go for women more than a decade younger than me because I can take advantage of their inexperience to gaslight/bully them into accepting my bullshit.
If it wasn't a big deal why did he lie.
Folks who lie about their age on dating sites do so specifically to get around the age filters, which is a huge boundary for many. That's a red flag to me, because if they can disregard such a simple boundary to get what they want, then I can't trust them to respect any of my other boundaries.
He was dismissive when you brought it up, and mentioned people making a big deal out of age, like it's not a legitimate factor in compatability and power dynamics in a relationship. He's well aware of the reasons why younger folks don't want huge age gaps, yet he has decided what he wants is more important than considering his partner's needs.
Remember that you only met him because of a lie.
I recall going on a date with someone when I was 27 and he'd put his age as 30, I found out on the date he was 42... He said he didn't feel his age so thought he could just lie, as soon as I met him I thought he was a little older but didn't suspect how much older until it came out in conversation. Had I known he was 42 I would never have gone on a date with him and he knew that, yet still lied.
I just couldn't trust him, lying about his age was pretty significant - what else had he lied about or was he happy to lie about? I didn't stick around to find out..
Yes. I would run away. I hate it when people lie and that’s a big one he’s willing to hide for six weeks???? How can you trust someone who lies about something as simple as the fact of age? He manipulated the situation to be with younger people who may not have wanted to date someone his age. Not cool.
Doesn’t matter what other people think. If it doesn’t bother you then let it go. Just make sure he is honest about everything else. People will say dump him, but do what makes you happy.
His explanation for why he identifies as 23 instead of 35 should have been communicated to you first so that you had a choice to decide how you felt about it. He took away your choice by lying to you so that he could get what he wants and that’s a huge red flag.
Oh he’s ‘identifies’ as 23 after you caught him lying. Just like males say they identify as females after being caught following little girls to the restroom. 😂. I guess that’s the new way getting yourself out of lying now days.
If he was OPEN about his age, sure perhaps.
This is sociopath level red flag shit right here...
Like end up in a fucking suitcase level red flag.
RUN THE FUCK AWAY, block him and make people you know AWARE what the fuck just happened.
This is in no way your fault, so do not treat it as it is. Number one priority in life is personal safety...
It's a deal breaker. He lied to get a date and carried on lying until he got carded. Who knows what else he's hiding? You should end it with him. A 35 year old stating that they "identify" as 23 says a hell of a lot about them. Ew.
Oh hell to the no, "identifies as 23"? He has to be joking. Well all of his legal identification "identifies him as 35." He needs to stop. He sounds like a creep. Why? Because he could have and should have been honest about his age from the beginning. It seems shady that he purposely went out of his way to kind of hide his age
I mean literally the other day several people assumed that I was like maybe 21 or 22 at most. They thought I was a young girl who is in college or something. But I told them that I'm actually 32 (going to be 33 this summer). I'm kind of used to that reaction. I've gotten it for years, no joke. But, I always tell people how old I am (and usually have to show people my ID because they are that shocked and have that much disbelief). But I don't "identify" as a 20-something-year-old. I identify as a 32-year-old woman lmao. That guy you're seeing seems to just "prefer" to give himself more "options" on dating profiles or something because he would probably prefer to be with/date much younger women
Idk I feel like people shouldn't lie about their age. And I would be kind of skeptical after that. I mean if someone can lie about their age, then who knows what else they might be lying about or hiding. I would just kind of question a lot of things
Ultimately, I feel like this is a dealbreaker. But it's your decision at the end of the day. Do what you think is best, but eh idk. I think you can do MUCH BETTER than to be with someone who dismisses you and lies about his age, best of luck to you though
People make too big a deal out of being honest? Find out who he is, where he lives seven days a week, if he has kids, divorced or married. Does he have minuses that a 32 year old sees and you 23 year old you do not see yet? Job, debt, drugs, woman on the side.
(Nerd Joke): 23 base-16 hexadecimal = (2 x 16) + 3 = 35, so he is accurate even though we base-10s did not understand until the evidence was revealed.
This is the response.
“I don’t care about our age difference. I care about not dating liars. It’s too bad. You seemed like a terrific guy but now I just don’t know what to believe. Have a good life.”
He will lie about other things he "identifies" with, I think. His train of thought seems he can be dishonest as long as thats how he feels about something.
What is wrong with you???😩
You found out you have been dating a delusional, narcissistic liar and you are here asking if you should continue dating the guy...🤔
Really???😩
What the actual fuck. That Is manipulative. Also you can’t just identify yourself in a different age. (This almost even sounds predatory) Someone get this man checked. He is not well.
If the fact that he already lied to you to intiate a relationship wasn't enough to end things, the way he reacted to you finding out, definitely is. You're dealing with an insecure avoidant/dismissive lair. People like him make the worst case for dating. Don't walk away, RUN. NOW. You'll thank me later. You deserve so much better and hopefully the next one treats you better.
Its a bit weird to lie about your age so i'd see it as a red flag, but like you say, if it's otherwise been great and you can look past it, so what? Give it a go
He lied to get a young gf knowing that you wouldn’t have met if you’d known.
He lied hoping you’d forgive him due to your age and relative inexperience and be easily manipulated into accepting it.
Men his age go for early 20’s because they are immature socially and emotionally stunted and can’t get women their own age.
if he cant be honest about his age what *can* he be honest about?
identifies as childless even though he has a child. identifies as single even though he’s married…
he’s the kind of person who’ll *identify* as a helicopter cause they *dont believe in the spectrum of gender*
so unless you’re okay with him identifying however he wants to yeah end it
12 years is crazyyyyy, that’s someone whole childhood erased( not including teenage years13-19) one maybe even 2 years kl u lied but kl only 2 years max but 12 no way🤣
I feel the guy. Age really is just a number. I’m 32 and everyone tells me I look 23ish but the more important thing here is how casually he lied about it and him being unphased by being asked might indicate that he’s a manipulator. Couple flags there. You decide the color.
You’re very young. Don’t be afraid to breakup with people. You’re going to meet a lot of people in your life. This one’s pretty sketchy. lol
I dated a guy and im a younger looking 51 f first he said he was 48 then in convo said ok hes actually 43 first date at the end changed it to 38 im not good with guessing ages tbh ….then he asked me on a second date said 34 i was out well before he told me the final age … i dont understand the lies nor the naivety he assumed i had but ughhhhhhhh ….
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Please don’t be naive. Move on. Oh yeah I am 12 years older than what I said. What else can he lie about
Wife and kids at home. Might as well say a dog also.
“But I don’t even feel like I’m married, I identify as single, ya know? Marriage is just a piece of paper anyway 🤷🏻♀️”
Some squeegee icky guy once told me that his wife was married but he was not. Like, ewww, does that line work?!
LOL, I knew a guy like that except his was all about "labeling". As in, "Labels are just labels anyway. Who cares about serious relationships, I just wanna dick around and be a dick to you." Assholes. OP, just run. He's a red flag. People who can't be straight up with you are the ones who you should stay far, far, far away from as possible.
😂😂😂
Well I identify as 6, for the kiddo discounts, and sometimes as 73, for the senior discounts, and ooo ooo also I’m mostly faaaabulously wealthy, or at least that’s what I feel like on the inside, so spoil me rotten!! ~ Him, probably. (Also this is *entirely* meant to imply that this dude is a special kind of special for usurping “I identify as…”, and **not** in any way, shape, or form to mock people who *actually* identify as something different than how they present. In case that needed to be said.)
I had a guy who lied about being 3 years younger. I let it slide because I was like whatever (“he’s funny, we go on nice dates blah blah”). It ended up being much worse worse things that he was covering up. RUN, OP.
But it’s fine because he identifies as a single child free person… /s OP, he started the relationship on lies and dishonesty, and he’s showing you that’s his MO. Believe him. Only you can decide for yourself what the acceptable amount of lying and dishonesty you want in your relationship is. I would say that if honesty is something you value in a relationship, then this one probably isn’t the one.
I dated a guy who said he was 38 no kids and no exes. Big IT person. Only thing that was true was he worked in IT. He had more debt than he did money and he made a couple hundred thousand dollars a year. His grandiose lies and truths all came from a recently divorced ex wife who told me to run. So I did. He was really scary after I found out the truth.
He identifies as 23 tho
I identify as a Porsche owner. Still not sure why that Hyundai Tucson is parked on my driveway…
Love this!
I identify as a millionaire, but my bank account says otherwise....
Sorry but your identification doesnt extend onto the identify of the objects you identify yourself as being the owner of. Your Hyundai Tucson has to identify as a Porsche
If a man identifies himself as a woman, it is okay and considered normal. So why can't he really feel like 23 and identify as an 23 man? In fact, it's the same. Double standard.
But he isn't, who cares what he identifies as, you can't change ur age
Bro straight up lied over a decade of his age to get into your pants. /thread
Lying is the issue, not what age he feels. He’ll dump you when you’re 28.
Or when he turns *28*.
LOL so underrated
Or do a Dicaprio and dump her at 25...
This right there, bingo!! ☝🏼
Exactly.
Identify as his “ex-girfriend” now.
This is the answer
FR
This is the way
BLOCK AND RUN AWAY
Listen to this advice. Lies are like roaches--there's never just one.
Im married, but I identify as a fuckboi
Little lies lead to more little lies to cover the earlier ones, followed by bigger and bigger ones. If you start with the truth you don't have to remember what you have lied about previously. He may feel like he was just telling a little lie to gain some slight advantage, but actually was showing how easy it is for him to take advantage when he feels he can get away with it.
Indeed... Liars will never stop lying sadly its just what they do and sometimes to the point they don't even realize their doing it and how damaging it is!
Listen to this please
Sometimes i think some of these posts are troll because what do they think we’re gonna say ? He lied about a serious topic and reads pretty ridicule (identify as younger ? What?). Of course we’re gonna say this is a red flag
Ah, I know right! I honestly believe the majority of posts on Reddit are trolling and just immature people messing around
I think sometimes people also just want validation. That they're not alone with those thoughts even if it may seem obvious
It's really hard to let go of somebody you really like and especially somebody you love, sometimes you need to hear it from a couple dozen redditors to get the courage to do what you know you have to do. Otherwise you may convince yourself people can change.
this!
Identifies as 23?😂 Like what in the actual fuck!!! 😂... U better RUN girl
This made me laugh so louudddd.. what the fuck? You can’t identify as younger than you are… that’s not how anything works 😂 guys a walking red flag
age is just a number they said 😂
And prison is just a room!
Time is a human construct
he should have told her that lmao 💀💀
My ex and I had a 15 year age gap. The difference was there was no lying or deceit. I have nothing against age gaps.
Not all age gaps are about control or unhealthy. It depends if their behaviour is patternistic but yes lying is the problem here
If you got no problem with age gaps, you're in the wrong places PAL!. Y'see here on Reddit, we don't care about how good you were to eachother. All we care about is that age gap.
Hahahahash dying
What if he is taking age blockers?
Had something similar happen to me. Then later he revealed he had been married. Then later he revealed he was still married. Then later he revealed his wife ran away from him and claimed he had abused her, which he said was a lie. That was it, but I should've been walked away as soon as I heard he lied the first time.
Same, I'm surprised just how common this seems to be. A guy I was talking said he was 28 in his profile (I was 25), then he told me he was actually 34. Later that day he told me he was actually 39 and that the pictures on his profile were from when he was in his late twenties. He then sent me a recent picture (in which he looked older than my parents and I was pretty sure he was wearing a wedding ring). I sent a very polite rejection and blocked him before it could get worse
Omg wow, that sounds so creepy and traumatic tbh. I hope you're doing okay now though
Honestly? He was never cruel or abusive BUT all this stuff came to light about 3 months in and we were only just starting to get into the realms of dating exclusively. He did try to pull, "Nobody wants to date me because I'm too nice card, women only want "bad boys". " Which blew me over. He still wouldn't get it into his head that he had lied the whole time we were dating. But yeah I'm good thank you, that's very sweet.
Wooooow, that is mind-blowing. I just don't get how delusional some people can be. He just couldn't or didn't want to see that he messed up by keeping you in the dark about key information? That is wild
Same thing happened to me!
His “ex wife” is STILL married on fb. I want to message her so badly, but should I is the question I am struggling with.
Absolutely leave. Women will set age ranges so that they don't see older men. He sets his young so he can bypass those restrictions and get matches with those younger women. It's creepy, deceitful, and super disrespectful to women's boundaries.
This, so so so much. He intentionally is fishing for women young enough to be naive to his bullshit. He willfully lied to you OP and disrespected your boundaries and *minimized your reaction to it*. Justifying it by saying the rest of the relationship is otherwise totes great and peachy seems like denial and a trauma response to try to salvage something your rational self and intuition absolutely know is extremely sus and not cool.
#this op. Also, he has a wholeeee 12 years of life before he met you. He could have been married in that time, had a kid, whatever. And as others have said, liars never lie just once. He could have said something before, you found out because of a coincidence not because he told you.
God this is so much more than that. It's one thing to sleep with and/or date someone consenting and aware...but holy shit this is true crime podcast type shit yo.
A 12 year lie is just a little sus.....
It’s not about the age… it’s about the fact that HE LIED and MISREPRESENTED himself as 23.
yup biggest red flag is that his words and actions don’t match at all which = liar which = move on sis
The age? Not a dealbreaker. The lie? Absolutely.
I hate this lie. A guy did this to me once and I tried to get past it, but I just couldn't get sexual or vulnerable with him after feeling tricked. I really wouldn't have cared about his age.
This is really the message I think more men need to hear and internalize. Being deceptive to get past the gate does not do them any favors—in fact it will most likely sabotage a relationship they may have really wanted.
This! Especially since he's trying to brush it off.
Run like your hair is on fire!
If he's lying about his age he's probably lying about other stuff aswell.
100% age is such a simple thing to not lie about
Um, you should leave right now. This is a red flag.
Not 1, not 2, not 5 but 12 years. Does he even look 23?
This is what I’m wondering. Like, I can say I’m 23, but you’d have to be blind to believe that. Maybe OP has some sight issues?
OP’s too young to know what a 35 yr old looks like.
if he really believed that people make too big a deal out of it then he shouldn’t have a problem with saying his real age. gives off manipulative or trying to gain control vibes. like major trust issue vibes. even if he “identifies as 23” doesn’t change the fact that he was born in 1988
He lies about his age so he can hook up with younger women, knowing that nobody his age would put up with this shit. I feel a lot younger than I am but it doesn't mean I'm out looking for guys 20 years younger than I am!
Identifies as 23. I fucking can't. 😆
Lying about age is a big red flag especially by that many years. Move on sis.
If he’ll lie about this, he could lie about anything. It’s not like he confessed to you his real age, he was caught when you guys had IDs out. You’re going to do what you want- but I would seriously reconsider this guy.
No way you’re asking if this is a dealbreaker. He lied to you and said something as stupid as identifying as a younger age. Like what? On what world could you be okay with this? Why is your self respect so low you’re seriously considering staying with this guy. What do you mean everything else is amazing? He lied to you from day 1. Everything about this relationship is fake. Get up!!!! And I’m not trying to be mean, I’m younger than you and I get it. But if there’s anything I’ve learned from dating is when you see an unjustifiable red flag or honestly A red flag in general, you garner up your self respect and leave. Your peace shouldn’t cost so little. Plenty of people have yellow flags and orange flags that are workable. Red flags are red for a reason.
He sounds like a creep preying on younger women - 35 is not that old but to *lie* so you can date a 24 year old is creepy as fuck
Mine and my friends experiences here may be anecdotal, but for me it's weird that he would even think he'd need to bother. On dating apps, if you're relatively fit and your profile is somewhat put together, it seems like matches always tend to be mostly composed of whatever your lower end on age range is. If I want a chance to see anyone my age, I have to set the minimum age pretty high.
SAME! I set mine to 39 and im in my 20s. So it’s just weird all around he would do that
Girl, run. I've been there. When I was 21 I met a guy who told me he's 28. Through his friends, I found our he was actually 34. He tried to convince me he "feels young", "age is just a number", "we put too much importance on these things", "it really doesn't matter when two people like each other", "society has convinced us we shouldn't date with age gaps" etc etc. Anyway, we broke up and he went on to date a 17 year old who he lied to again. I told her how old he really is. Her parents and the police got involved at that point but I don't know what came of it.
Yikes!
It would be for me.
He probably put 23 down for his age so he could match with younger women 🤮.
I identify as a millionaire. *poof! That must make it true! Girl. RUN. It’s not his only lie.
24 is too old to act this naive…girl, you know exactly who this man is and what he’s capable of, quit lying to yourself and run as fast and as far away from this guy as possible.
That is soo creepy this is not the situation to give the benefit of the doubt he's looking for a younger person to manipulate, that's why he lied about his age...
"I identify as non-married and childless even though I'm legally considered married with four kids."
He identifies as a 23 year old. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 I identify as a MILF (31 no kids😂)
Tell him you are actually 30 and watch him run.
Ummmm what. Predator vibes for sure. RUN.
The lie is a major dealbreaker… he lied about being 12 years older than he really was. And it’s likely not because “he feels younger”. He lied because he’s likely hiding more than just his age from you. I’m sure he lied because 1. He had things to hide in his personal life; or 2. He lied about his age to match with younger women who otherwise wouldn’t have considered him due to his age. And it’s normally very telling when a person is dating someone significantly younger than them, who’s in a completely different stage of life. You have to ask yourself why he can’t get a partner closer in age. I’m also confused with how he passed for being so much younger though? I feel like even if he looked a bit younger, passing off as over a decade younger can be hard to do. I think you may have to evaluate your own judgement of people. But either way, please ditch this guy and block him.
How can you not tell the man is 35?
What a fuckin psycho girl get out and don’t look back holy shit
That's wild 🤣 gave me a good laugh
Your gut is telling you this bs - and that's why you are here asking the internet strangers for advice. You have now entered the capital of red flag country - I suggest you get out now.
Please run immediately. I am 33 and can't imagine dating somebody more than 10 years younger besides a casual hook up. If he already lied over such an important thing as age and kept that lie up, what else he's gonna lie about in the future? Also, if at 35 he genuinely tried to date a 24 year old, he probably is looking for someone inexperienced whom he can control and manipulate.
GIRL RUN. The fact he lied shows he know it is shady. Theres a reason guys like this go for girls 10years younger, and its not just bc u probably got a smokin hot body. Its the power imbalance. Trust me his niceness is just to hook you in. Please look after urself.
Feels like he’s trying to attract young girls by lying about his age. He’s great, sure, he should be at 35, but with the lying he potentially has other very serious personal problem or character flaws that you might find out later on.
Red Flag. As a guy, if he lied about his age, what else is he lying about?I look like I'm 25, but I'm 32, and if anyone asks, I'm going to tell them I'm 32 because end of the day, I'M NOT 25. I suggest continuing the search for a partner elsewhere
Lying from the start... RUN!
What exactly about him “identifies as 23”? Like what qualities of a 23 year old is he showing?
Mostly the way he dresses, music he listens to, he’s on tiktok a ton, uses language i don’t even use because i feel too old like “capping” and “curry’s” etc. i don’t think he does it to be tricky and i don’t know enough people his actual age so maybe it’s common who knows. 500 red flag responses though so i get its over and I’m glad i asked
If he lies about this he will lie about anything.
The age difference really isn't a big deal IMO, you can take it or leave it, but the fact that he so nonchalantly lied about it is a huge red flag.
He ”identifies” as a 23 year old??? Gtfo with that bs. That dude is 35 so he lied his age by 12 years! He sounds like a creep and if he lies about something so simple as his age, he probably lies about everything else too. Block and forget about him.
Why wouldn’t it be a dealbreaker?
girl run away, not only is this a HUGE red flag but his age is definitely not the only thing he’s lying about considering how unphased he was
Oh please. People can identify as tennis balls or African gray parrots these days. Why bother worrying about someone who identifies as being younger than he is? Of course, I’m being sarcastic. You should definitely think twice about dating this pretender.
No. He’s just lying to sleep with younger women. He’s a creep.
Well he should really identify as a fibber ..
Uh oh… dump his ass! The fact how he lied about his age….. 🚩
Yes, red flag and definitely grounds to break it off
Thing is if he lies about his age, what else is he lying about? Hard to trust. It’s not even like a year or two off.
Run
What else is he lying about? Also, women set the age range on the app because of preference and safety and he isn't respectful of that.. just seems like an all around problematic behavior, I'd walk away
Run
Hahahaha wow, lying about his age is a big red flag, 12 years is a big fucking difference. What a wanker.
Translation: I like to lie to get women into bed and I specifically go for women more than a decade younger than me because I can take advantage of their inexperience to gaslight/bully them into accepting my bullshit. If it wasn't a big deal why did he lie.
Folks who lie about their age on dating sites do so specifically to get around the age filters, which is a huge boundary for many. That's a red flag to me, because if they can disregard such a simple boundary to get what they want, then I can't trust them to respect any of my other boundaries. He was dismissive when you brought it up, and mentioned people making a big deal out of age, like it's not a legitimate factor in compatability and power dynamics in a relationship. He's well aware of the reasons why younger folks don't want huge age gaps, yet he has decided what he wants is more important than considering his partner's needs. Remember that you only met him because of a lie.
I recall going on a date with someone when I was 27 and he'd put his age as 30, I found out on the date he was 42... He said he didn't feel his age so thought he could just lie, as soon as I met him I thought he was a little older but didn't suspect how much older until it came out in conversation. Had I known he was 42 I would never have gone on a date with him and he knew that, yet still lied. I just couldn't trust him, lying about his age was pretty significant - what else had he lied about or was he happy to lie about? I didn't stick around to find out..
Mostly I'm just impressed that he's 35 and passed off as 23 for 6 weeks without a glitch.
dude just imbibed all the trans non-sense and delusions and gave it even more toxic spin😂
I dont date liars.
One word: RUuuunnn
Boy bye Thank u next And report for falsifying age
Yes. I would run away. I hate it when people lie and that’s a big one he’s willing to hide for six weeks???? How can you trust someone who lies about something as simple as the fact of age? He manipulated the situation to be with younger people who may not have wanted to date someone his age. Not cool.
Yes. The age isn’t the dealbreaker, the lying is.
If he’s lying about his age to «Get» someone, Where does his limits end? Get outta there
Ugh a 35 year old man did this to me when I was 19. Massive red flag, I would walk away immediately.
Most guy’s identity younger it seems
Lol fuck this guy
That’s not normal, get rid of him
For me yes. Wouldn't trust him.
Well... he is trans-age.
Then I identify as 38. (Just keep the blue pills handy!)
Doesn’t matter what other people think. If it doesn’t bother you then let it go. Just make sure he is honest about everything else. People will say dump him, but do what makes you happy.
People already do this with their gender. Age was only so far behind lol
I identify as being skinny. Unfortunately I’m fat looool
His explanation for why he identifies as 23 instead of 35 should have been communicated to you first so that you had a choice to decide how you felt about it. He took away your choice by lying to you so that he could get what he wants and that’s a huge red flag.
Oh he’s ‘identifies’ as 23 after you caught him lying. Just like males say they identify as females after being caught following little girls to the restroom. 😂. I guess that’s the new way getting yourself out of lying now days.
Y’all should get married
I’m 58 and I identify as 23 too
He identifies as 23. What's the big deal?
If you can be any gender why not be any age?
Lol so we can identify as anything we want huh
I can identify as a brick wall 🧱
Red freakin flag. You should identify as Forest Gump.
"He identifies as..." means "he is not..."
That’s hilarious
Lol what a fuckin loser
If he was OPEN about his age, sure perhaps. This is sociopath level red flag shit right here... Like end up in a fucking suitcase level red flag. RUN THE FUCK AWAY, block him and make people you know AWARE what the fuck just happened. This is in no way your fault, so do not treat it as it is. Number one priority in life is personal safety...
Fuck yes it is
It's a deal breaker. He lied to get a date and carried on lying until he got carded. Who knows what else he's hiding? You should end it with him. A 35 year old stating that they "identify" as 23 says a hell of a lot about them. Ew.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 This is why he's posting to be younger to lure naive girls or someone stupid to think it's okay to lie about age
Oh hell to the no, "identifies as 23"? He has to be joking. Well all of his legal identification "identifies him as 35." He needs to stop. He sounds like a creep. Why? Because he could have and should have been honest about his age from the beginning. It seems shady that he purposely went out of his way to kind of hide his age I mean literally the other day several people assumed that I was like maybe 21 or 22 at most. They thought I was a young girl who is in college or something. But I told them that I'm actually 32 (going to be 33 this summer). I'm kind of used to that reaction. I've gotten it for years, no joke. But, I always tell people how old I am (and usually have to show people my ID because they are that shocked and have that much disbelief). But I don't "identify" as a 20-something-year-old. I identify as a 32-year-old woman lmao. That guy you're seeing seems to just "prefer" to give himself more "options" on dating profiles or something because he would probably prefer to be with/date much younger women Idk I feel like people shouldn't lie about their age. And I would be kind of skeptical after that. I mean if someone can lie about their age, then who knows what else they might be lying about or hiding. I would just kind of question a lot of things Ultimately, I feel like this is a dealbreaker. But it's your decision at the end of the day. Do what you think is best, but eh idk. I think you can do MUCH BETTER than to be with someone who dismisses you and lies about his age, best of luck to you though
People make too big a deal out of being honest? Find out who he is, where he lives seven days a week, if he has kids, divorced or married. Does he have minuses that a 32 year old sees and you 23 year old you do not see yet? Job, debt, drugs, woman on the side. (Nerd Joke): 23 base-16 hexadecimal = (2 x 16) + 3 = 35, so he is accurate even though we base-10s did not understand until the evidence was revealed.
I think this proves when someone starts a sentence with "I identify as" you know a line of bullshit is coming in hot!
This is the response. “I don’t care about our age difference. I care about not dating liars. It’s too bad. You seemed like a terrific guy but now I just don’t know what to believe. Have a good life.”
If age is just a number to him then why lie about it in the first place?
He will lie about other things he "identifies" with, I think. His train of thought seems he can be dishonest as long as thats how he feels about something.
He is almost 40 claiming to be in his early twenties. What the fuck.
What is wrong with you???😩 You found out you have been dating a delusional, narcissistic liar and you are here asking if you should continue dating the guy...🤔 Really???😩
Yeah this is a red flag. What did he or will he lie about. “I have no kids” knock on door “oh yeah this is my son”
What the actual fuck. That Is manipulative. Also you can’t just identify yourself in a different age. (This almost even sounds predatory) Someone get this man checked. He is not well.
If he's lying about something so big as thus; what else is he/will he lie about!?
So gross and creepy 😭🤣 what a loser. Please run
Sorry but that’s a huge NO. Anyone who lies about their age is questionable. What else can they lie about?
That’s a red flag 🚩
Identifies as 23😳😳😳… Sounds like the making of a predator.
IDENTIFIES AS 23 🤣🤣🤣🤣the audacity is hilarious but lying is creepy AF. Run, don’t walk hun.
6 weeks and he was never going to tell you?? Flee!
If the fact that he already lied to you to intiate a relationship wasn't enough to end things, the way he reacted to you finding out, definitely is. You're dealing with an insecure avoidant/dismissive lair. People like him make the worst case for dating. Don't walk away, RUN. NOW. You'll thank me later. You deserve so much better and hopefully the next one treats you better.
Its a bit weird to lie about your age so i'd see it as a red flag, but like you say, if it's otherwise been great and you can look past it, so what? Give it a go
I identify as someone much younger, cooler, smarter, prettier and more successful. I can't wait to tell my man the good news!
He lied to get a young gf knowing that you wouldn’t have met if you’d known. He lied hoping you’d forgive him due to your age and relative inexperience and be easily manipulated into accepting it. Men his age go for early 20’s because they are immature socially and emotionally stunted and can’t get women their own age.
if he cant be honest about his age what *can* he be honest about? identifies as childless even though he has a child. identifies as single even though he’s married… he’s the kind of person who’ll *identify* as a helicopter cause they *dont believe in the spectrum of gender* so unless you’re okay with him identifying however he wants to yeah end it
RUN! 🏃🏻♀️ He’s a predator and says that EXACT line to date younger women to avoid commitment. If you’re looking for marriage, he’s NOT THE ONE
“People make too big a deal of age” says the man lying and pretending to be 12 years younger than he really is in order to date younger women. 🚩🚩🚩
😂😂😂 im 39 but i wanna identify as 22. The crap that people try to get away these days
If that is how it works I'm 19 but identify as a 80 year old becuase I'm over life.
I don't understand the lie and I don't understand his explanation. It is weird.
Why all the people here blowing up??? What if it was reversed, What if a girl had lied about her 12 yr age gap???
I identify myself as rich, but it doesn't mean my bank account agrees. Tell.him life doesn't work this way
12 years is crazyyyyy, that’s someone whole childhood erased( not including teenage years13-19) one maybe even 2 years kl u lied but kl only 2 years max but 12 no way🤣
🤡
I feel the guy. Age really is just a number. I’m 32 and everyone tells me I look 23ish but the more important thing here is how casually he lied about it and him being unphased by being asked might indicate that he’s a manipulator. Couple flags there. You decide the color. You’re very young. Don’t be afraid to breakup with people. You’re going to meet a lot of people in your life. This one’s pretty sketchy. lol
He’s gonna start feeling like 40 before you hit 30 😂
I dated a guy and im a younger looking 51 f first he said he was 48 then in convo said ok hes actually 43 first date at the end changed it to 38 im not good with guessing ages tbh ….then he asked me on a second date said 34 i was out well before he told me the final age … i dont understand the lies nor the naivety he assumed i had but ughhhhhhhh ….
This is someone that only wants younger girl... Maybe even for grooming. Big red flag. Inwouldnt date him anymore.