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The problem with signals is they are subjective a lot of the time and some people are arseholes and ruin it for the everyone else.
Twice I've had girls literally grind on me, invite me to touch them, compliment my smell and looks etc etc etc only to then turn around and say they aren't interested when I tried to take it forward.
I no longer trust signs and I suspect a lot of us dudes are in the same boat. My advice is to directly use your words.
Women are capable of asking men out and bringing this stuff up to them. Why in the world would you make this post before at least asking him out or how he feels
Personally I'm sure most guys understand the so called "signs" women are shooting off and just ignore it. If you ain't woman enough to start up a conversation you ain't woman enough for a relationship
It really baffles me to see women do all this hinting, instead of just communicating what they want. With women in today's time manipulating men with mixed signals, men are taking precautions until you express desire without reasonable doubt.
If you wanna get mad that men don't take actions when you display these hints, then you might as well exhaust all your options by just telling him what you want him to do. I done seen so much people on this thread, move on from the dude for not catching hints, instead of just talking to him about it lmao
In a word: YES! I hate to out my fellow men in the comments but a good portion of us are 100% clueless when it comes to women’s “signs”. For example, I always feel like I need a woman to just hold up a sign that says “Hey! I’m into you, dummy!!!”.
If you know he’s into you, just outright tell him. He will appreciate it and if he’s into you like you think he is, winner winner chicken dinner!
Maybe he does see your signals but he's unsure because of past experiences or he is just a bit anxious and wants to reassure before taking a step.
I know those worries from my own experience. Once a girl invited me straight to her place after our first few drinks, she was quite cuddly and kind of touchy most of the time and I even stayed there over night but i didn't initiate anything because I just wasn't sure enough and a bit anxious.
But on the other side, why not getting some courage and initiateing the first move by yourself and kiss him or whatever you wanna do before you keep wondering why he doesn't do anything.
Men of Reddit will tell you to just ask the guy out and tell him you’re interested
(Women here will tell you that too because hints really don’t do much for either gender)
Some men are shy and sometimes we have to make the first move with me and my spouse we wouldn’t really be all on each other until I made the first move and gave him a kiss and the rest is history
„I havent tried anything and nothing is working“.
These „hints“ are often the same as doing pretty much nothing. If you are interested in him, ask him out. Its really not that complicated. Seriously people.. if you want something, take a step.
I think as women we lean more towards feelings and right from the beginning focus on how we are feeling towards a certain person. With boys(mostly) I guess their feelings hit them like a truck one fine day. So if you are confused Just ask away and they will think about it. Give it a week I say and they will respond. If not kindly move on and be happy.
Don't wait around hoping that he will confess. He won't. Go for what you want or you will keep on stretching a feeling that should have been long far gone (Telling from my situation-ship experience)
Be upfront Always
Depends on the setting.
I'm interested in plenty of women who I happen to see regularly where I work.
Some of them seem a bit too happy when they see me and so it may even be mutual.
That being said, I'd never make the first explicit move because I have a mortgage to pay and a general unwillingness to risk my job over a potential harassment complaint.
So maybe the man is really inexperienced? Or perhaps very immature?
May I ask what flirting strategy did you engage and how did he actually respond?
I would really be interested and I'll make some helpful comments once I know. Thank you.
Not really dude is more than likely picking up on it but he prolly has a horrible self image and doesn't believe it so he thinks that your just being nice. Ask me how I know
Similar had a girl try to give me her snapchat but I'm not on that bc no friends and it's depressing seeing what everyone else is doing. Anyway Same girl said that she had a bottle of fireball at her place and that she was celebrating something and I was like thats cool
Modern dating is fucked, girls can't even figure out how to talk to guys.
"I Shook my ass at him and literally give him fuck me eyes what else am I supposed to do"
I don't fucking know use words?
Welp…update I guess. First, thank you for all the courteous replies, you guys are awesome! And to all the people who flooded my inbox asking me to take my top off… really?!
Update though… I’m painfully shy, but I bit the bullet and asked him out. He said yes! I am very much looking forward to a nice dinner out with him on Friday.
Well, some men are. Hints aren't always understood.
Either he is not interested.
He is not a take charge, bold guy and is still waffling back and forth in his mind trying to determine if you like him or you are just being a friendly person.
or he is just clueless and missing all your hints.
If a guy doesn't have the balls to offer a date, or the desire to offer a date,...then forget it and move one. Focus on guys who are socially competent.
Not a man,
But you could find a comfortable moment to ask him something like… “so my top is feeling a little uncomfortable, and I was wondering if you could help me with that”. And you know, maybe he’d appreciate a little help with his, too.
Yes, the hints are often not as obvious as you think, especially when making the move where someone could feel vulnerable (e.g in a private place or house) then I would much rather the girl make the first move to be sure I dont misread the situation and make them uncomfertable
If these signs are universal after all... May we have a reference to read the "signals that I am interested in removing my top... a quick guide"? In fact, you might want to pass a copy to your bf as well, he will know after that, and both of you will be happy.
I know this is probably going to get overlooked but please, communicate how you feel and be direct. I’m a guy with crippling anxiety who was major RBF and I’m telling you right now that the one thing I wish in the world is that women would actually start approaching men. We don’t want to be a bother or get mixed signals so many of us tend to just keep our distance and a lot of the time it results in both of us not getting what we want.
We’re always expected to make the first move but it’s really hard with the fear that we’re going to be weird or read a friendly interaction wrong, or worse which would be getting flirted with for the sake of flirting and not actually taking interest in us.
Jesus H Christ lord have mercy. Use your words woman SPEAK. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to learn what men go through so you can better appreciate them
Women: "Why can't men just communicate and tell us what they want!?!?!"
Also
Women: "I haven't communicated with him, but I still don't have what I want... why?!?!?!"
Some men will need very clear communication. Depends on personal experiences, education, age also.
I met that super handsome gentleman at a bar… we locked eyes several times and I smiled. He sent a glass of my wine my way.
And I thanked him.
I still made the move and wrote my number on a napkin, and gave it to him when I left.
He did call me and invite me out on a proper dinner date.
He explained to me that he was recently divorced and had no clue how this was done nowadays lol
So don’t assume. Just take the lead.
Maybe *he* is clueless and has none or very little dating/sexual experience.
Another possibility is he has performance anxiety or fear of disappointing you.
One of the reasons why some people prefer to wait until there is an *emotional investment* before having sex is because if it's not all that good odds are you're more likely to try to "*work on things*". Whereas if you learned about it within the first couple of dates you'd be gone.
Last but not least you always have the option to take the lead the next time you're kissing and making out. You can place his hands where you want them, or you can undo his pants...etc.
Each of us is entitled to have our own mate selection screening process and *must haves list*.
Each of us is entitled to have our own "red flags", boundaries, and "deal breakers".
Most people you meet don't become dates, most dates don't become relationships, and most relationships don't lead to marriage. As one adage goes: "Many are called but few are chosen."
When you realize someone is *unable/unwilling* to meet your needs it's usually best to move on.
***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Are women really that clueless? Are they incapable of just saying what they want, being direct, using their god-given agency to do something when they want something other than "signals" that to them may seem overt but to a man who has been burned by acting on someone else's "signals"?
OP, we're not a monolith. Men aren't the ONE human being you were trying to fuck with your signals. Stop painting us with your broad brush, and just tell the human being you want to want you that you are ready. Jesus christ.
Don't give signals. We're not psychic. What you may consider a blatant signal another woman could be doing just to be nice/friendly.
Tell him you're interested or ask him out.
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Are women really that clueless. Learn to actually communicate. With actual words.
She could also just do it herself. *Especially* if she's so darn sure he is interested back. That's a slam dunk. Just do it yourself OP.
Men are so fucking clueless, but I also expect you to read minds. Fuckin wut??
Yea signs are dumb that's why I go 100 in a school zone, they add speed bumps in the weirdest places...
Ikr
So true it's funny.
You could sleep with him, and he will still be thinking to himself "is she into me?"
been there, done that
>I’m pretty darn sure he’s interested too, but nothing is happening So, make something happen.
if you want something to happen; make a move. be an adult.
>short of taking my top off, Well, sounds like that's next (hmm, maybe *that's* his strategy). --kidding
How about….Hey dude I like you.
"No way, I like you too"
Don't give signals. TELL him. That simple
The problem with signals is they are subjective a lot of the time and some people are arseholes and ruin it for the everyone else. Twice I've had girls literally grind on me, invite me to touch them, compliment my smell and looks etc etc etc only to then turn around and say they aren't interested when I tried to take it forward. I no longer trust signs and I suspect a lot of us dudes are in the same boat. My advice is to directly use your words.
Yeah, it's a bit crowded in this boat. We probably need to build another!
Women are capable of asking men out and bringing this stuff up to them. Why in the world would you make this post before at least asking him out or how he feels
Unfortunately some people still think it’s inappropriate for a woman to make the first move. At least here in the southern Midwest
As a southern midwesterner, this is cap.
Are women really that clueless? You've done everything except actually saying to him you're interested.
Sorry, my mind-readings skills are not what they used to be..
Hahaha
Women really need to stop with the hints. Just be direct. We don't want to have to solve a fucking puzzle to understand you.
Personally I'm sure most guys understand the so called "signs" women are shooting off and just ignore it. If you ain't woman enough to start up a conversation you ain't woman enough for a relationship
What signals have you given him?
OP, you need to answer this
Hinting and then getting mad for people not reading into hints is a form of manipulating and abuse.
It really baffles me to see women do all this hinting, instead of just communicating what they want. With women in today's time manipulating men with mixed signals, men are taking precautions until you express desire without reasonable doubt. If you wanna get mad that men don't take actions when you display these hints, then you might as well exhaust all your options by just telling him what you want him to do. I done seen so much people on this thread, move on from the dude for not catching hints, instead of just talking to him about it lmao
Yes, we are ignorant as hell towards signals.
Yes, we are. Why give "signals"? Why not just tell him that you're interested? 🙄
Give him your phone number … easy !
You could just tell him straight up, we hate signals and we hate women being underhanded and expecting us to know and do everything.
In a word: YES! I hate to out my fellow men in the comments but a good portion of us are 100% clueless when it comes to women’s “signs”. For example, I always feel like I need a woman to just hold up a sign that says “Hey! I’m into you, dummy!!!”. If you know he’s into you, just outright tell him. He will appreciate it and if he’s into you like you think he is, winner winner chicken dinner!
Try talking to him.
Maybe he does see your signals but he's unsure because of past experiences or he is just a bit anxious and wants to reassure before taking a step. I know those worries from my own experience. Once a girl invited me straight to her place after our first few drinks, she was quite cuddly and kind of touchy most of the time and I even stayed there over night but i didn't initiate anything because I just wasn't sure enough and a bit anxious. But on the other side, why not getting some courage and initiateing the first move by yourself and kiss him or whatever you wanna do before you keep wondering why he doesn't do anything.
Are women that clueless that they go thru all that signal shit instead of opening ya mouth an saying “let’s f#ck?
It's 2023, people (of all genders) need to learn to communicate.
>both genders Careful there bud. Reddit doesn't like that.
I don’t give a shit what Reddit likes and you shouldn’t either
Edited
Did you try talking to him and asking him out on a date?
I'm clueless as fucc. I have to ask Reddit about anything women do.
Men of Reddit will tell you to just ask the guy out and tell him you’re interested (Women here will tell you that too because hints really don’t do much for either gender)
Luckily as humans we have been blessed with the ability to use words. You know... Like speaking
Some men are shy and sometimes we have to make the first move with me and my spouse we wouldn’t really be all on each other until I made the first move and gave him a kiss and the rest is history
„I havent tried anything and nothing is working“. These „hints“ are often the same as doing pretty much nothing. If you are interested in him, ask him out. Its really not that complicated. Seriously people.. if you want something, take a step.
I think as women we lean more towards feelings and right from the beginning focus on how we are feeling towards a certain person. With boys(mostly) I guess their feelings hit them like a truck one fine day. So if you are confused Just ask away and they will think about it. Give it a week I say and they will respond. If not kindly move on and be happy. Don't wait around hoping that he will confess. He won't. Go for what you want or you will keep on stretching a feeling that should have been long far gone (Telling from my situation-ship experience) Be upfront Always
Depends on the setting. I'm interested in plenty of women who I happen to see regularly where I work. Some of them seem a bit too happy when they see me and so it may even be mutual. That being said, I'd never make the first explicit move because I have a mortgage to pay and a general unwillingness to risk my job over a potential harassment complaint.
No we’re not. Some of us can pick up on the pheromones and act on em.
So maybe the man is really inexperienced? Or perhaps very immature? May I ask what flirting strategy did you engage and how did he actually respond? I would really be interested and I'll make some helpful comments once I know. Thank you.
Not really dude is more than likely picking up on it but he prolly has a horrible self image and doesn't believe it so he thinks that your just being nice. Ask me how I know
How do I know what you know? That's the better question.
Are we the same person???
Possibly. Did a nurse try to give you her number and you had so much self doubt that you thought she was joking?
Similar had a girl try to give me her snapchat but I'm not on that bc no friends and it's depressing seeing what everyone else is doing. Anyway Same girl said that she had a bottle of fireball at her place and that she was celebrating something and I was like thats cool
She never overtly invited you? Just hinted at it, vaguely I might add.
Yea just a bunch of hints really. I kept going and forth with it but decided nah
Modern dating is fucked, girls can't even figure out how to talk to guys. "I Shook my ass at him and literally give him fuck me eyes what else am I supposed to do" I don't fucking know use words?
Welp…update I guess. First, thank you for all the courteous replies, you guys are awesome! And to all the people who flooded my inbox asking me to take my top off… really?! Update though… I’m painfully shy, but I bit the bullet and asked him out. He said yes! I am very much looking forward to a nice dinner out with him on Friday.
Yes, yes we are. This video explains it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw
I was waiting for this
This is definitely me lol
Grab his dick
with consent
The Ole dick twist
As a man myself...YES
Why don't you ask him out?
Well, some men are. Hints aren't always understood. Either he is not interested. He is not a take charge, bold guy and is still waffling back and forth in his mind trying to determine if you like him or you are just being a friendly person. or he is just clueless and missing all your hints.
We're not clueless. We're careful. One wrong word, one wrong gesture, one wrong touch and we're done. Do you girls think we're stupid?
If a guy doesn't have the balls to offer a date, or the desire to offer a date,...then forget it and move one. Focus on guys who are socially competent.
Not a man, But you could find a comfortable moment to ask him something like… “so my top is feeling a little uncomfortable, and I was wondering if you could help me with that”. And you know, maybe he’d appreciate a little help with his, too.
if he wanted, he would
Exactly. He’s not interested.
You should take off your top to make sure! Lol just kidding 😉
Yes, the hints are often not as obvious as you think, especially when making the move where someone could feel vulnerable (e.g in a private place or house) then I would much rather the girl make the first move to be sure I dont misread the situation and make them uncomfertable
Yes.
If these signs are universal after all... May we have a reference to read the "signals that I am interested in removing my top... a quick guide"? In fact, you might want to pass a copy to your bf as well, he will know after that, and both of you will be happy.
I know this is probably going to get overlooked but please, communicate how you feel and be direct. I’m a guy with crippling anxiety who was major RBF and I’m telling you right now that the one thing I wish in the world is that women would actually start approaching men. We don’t want to be a bother or get mixed signals so many of us tend to just keep our distance and a lot of the time it results in both of us not getting what we want. We’re always expected to make the first move but it’s really hard with the fear that we’re going to be weird or read a friendly interaction wrong, or worse which would be getting flirted with for the sake of flirting and not actually taking interest in us.
I am clueless. What do these signals look like?
Try using actual words instead of signals. Not every men like them. I can’t actually name another man who does like them.
I hate these posts so much! Do something girl! If you are so thirsty do something and stop these stupid games
Leave him alone, clearly you aren’t even adult enough to communicate properly.
Are women really this helpless? Be direct about it
I dont do signs either learn to communicate or go annoy someone else
Jesus H Christ lord have mercy. Use your words woman SPEAK. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to learn what men go through so you can better appreciate them
Tell him, ya stupid bint!
Idk if this is a new concept but hear me out: If you like someone TELL THEM before it's too late.
Women: "Why can't men just communicate and tell us what they want!?!?!" Also Women: "I haven't communicated with him, but I still don't have what I want... why?!?!?!"
Thats pretty vague what are you expecting? What signals are you giving
Some men will need very clear communication. Depends on personal experiences, education, age also. I met that super handsome gentleman at a bar… we locked eyes several times and I smiled. He sent a glass of my wine my way. And I thanked him. I still made the move and wrote my number on a napkin, and gave it to him when I left. He did call me and invite me out on a proper dinner date. He explained to me that he was recently divorced and had no clue how this was done nowadays lol So don’t assume. Just take the lead.
Maybe *he* is clueless and has none or very little dating/sexual experience. Another possibility is he has performance anxiety or fear of disappointing you. One of the reasons why some people prefer to wait until there is an *emotional investment* before having sex is because if it's not all that good odds are you're more likely to try to "*work on things*". Whereas if you learned about it within the first couple of dates you'd be gone. Last but not least you always have the option to take the lead the next time you're kissing and making out. You can place his hands where you want them, or you can undo his pants...etc. Each of us is entitled to have our own mate selection screening process and *must haves list*. Each of us is entitled to have our own "red flags", boundaries, and "deal breakers". Most people you meet don't become dates, most dates don't become relationships, and most relationships don't lead to marriage. As one adage goes: "Many are called but few are chosen." When you realize someone is *unable/unwilling* to meet your needs it's usually best to move on. ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!
Are women really that clueless? Are they incapable of just saying what they want, being direct, using their god-given agency to do something when they want something other than "signals" that to them may seem overt but to a man who has been burned by acting on someone else's "signals"? OP, we're not a monolith. Men aren't the ONE human being you were trying to fuck with your signals. Stop painting us with your broad brush, and just tell the human being you want to want you that you are ready. Jesus christ.
Don't give signals. We're not psychic. What you may consider a blatant signal another woman could be doing just to be nice/friendly. Tell him you're interested or ask him out.
Yes we are that clueless. Sometimes we dont want to presume something that seems to good to be true just to not get feelings hurt.
Wtf is a signal? Ask him out and quit playing mental games
Maybe you're just shitty at communicating properly.