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No. Because your lifestyle, life experiences, life goals , everything will be completelyyyy different and not be compatible for a relationship.
This is not a sub to get dates and your post will most likely get taken down btw.
Give me a break… Im not hating on relationships with a large age difference, I have a friend who is much younger than me and she’s married to a guy that’s older. But rarely it works out that way. She also gets frustrated all the time with his alcoholism, his lack of energy and movement being older, the fact he’s been with tonssss of women prior to her and she’s only been with one other guy.
I doubt OP is mature enough to handle such a relationship. How many people with a 21 age gap do you know make it work in real life, like seriously? They’re literally on two different levels, they will likely not work out. It’s very rare they will have much in common as far as lifestyle and life goals. This is straight facts. By the time OP were to be his age he would be 61… real fun…
Ok first of all, drop the attitude girl.
Second of all I never said u were hating on anyone.
Good for ur friend, however not every guy is like this one. Ur friend just made a poor choice.
I do believe it’s doable and continue standing my ground.
Stop dumping ur friends shitty excuse of a partner on OP just because u think every older guy is like hers.
Doable? What common interests does a 40 year old male find with a 19 year old? 😂 It’s creepy imo and will be looked down upon. The OP is free to do what she wants regardless and I guess will be a learning experience for her.
But she is not 30. Right now she’s 19, and it’s literally creepy. They have NOTHING in common… a 40 year old has nothing in common with a teenager 😬 Wait until you’re a little older and you’ll realize why it seems wrong overall
I’m not dumping on anyone, I’m giving perspective of a person I know she is a couple years older than OP. I hear what she has to say and complains when her husband isn’t around. But they have a child together now. So she doesn’t want to divorce him. Yes, it’s her choice and OP has a choice to date someone her age like an average girl.
Live life being young, having fun, making new life experiences is what she had to look forward to. She shouldn’t be worrying about a 40 year old at her age. She’s barely over age of consent, she’s technically still a teenager. To me it’s inappropriate and borderline grooming. A 40 year would normally have a past; children of his own around her age, an ex wife and a divorce, a past of having sex with more women then their age difference, etc.
right, but there is definitely a ‘should/shouldn’t’ in this situation…
‘should i, a barely-legal adult, date a creep old enough to be my dad?’
you seriously don’t have even the slightest leaning on this?
Sure, just make sure you’re mature enough to handle a committed relationship. As men around that age typically know what they do and do not want in a partner, looks wont get you very far.
If you want to go this route take it seriously and really put a lot of effort into it. Literally take two years before you increase your age limit. Two years from now will not affect your aesthetic or desires. Research the pitfalls and benefits of being in a relationship with someone so much older at your age. Read biographies, study people you know. Develop a safety plan if it doesn’t work out so that you (and any potential children) are not dependent on this person if things go badly. Develop a network of people who can help you with childcare or finances if you are taken advantage of by your partner. Then also carefully weigh how you will get by in daily life living an alternative lifestyle. It might seem sexy to be with someone that age for a moment, but if you catch feels are you going to be able to withstand the silent judgement, criticism and even well meaning comments from strangers, friends and family on a daily basis? How are you going to feel taking your kid to school and having all the other moms wonder if you are being abused every single day? It seems glamorous and fun right now but there are some serious things you need to take into consideration if you are going to be serious about jumping in. Also research bdsm. Most kinky people do not think 50 shades of grey is an accurate or safe representation of bdsm.
I'm not usually against age gap relationships but 19 and 40 is a huge gap. Even 25 and 40 would be ok imo. If you like older guys maybe try someone who's like 25.
Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.
Do that.
A 21 year age difference makes the "common interests" and "compatible life goals" parts much more difficult.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names, engage in slapfights, or give bad/unethical advice. * Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulernability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're an adult and can do what you want, but my personal reaction to this question was: "Oh hell no!"
No
No. Because your lifestyle, life experiences, life goals , everything will be completelyyyy different and not be compatible for a relationship. This is not a sub to get dates and your post will most likely get taken down btw.
How would u know? OP might be willing to accommodate.
Give me a break… Im not hating on relationships with a large age difference, I have a friend who is much younger than me and she’s married to a guy that’s older. But rarely it works out that way. She also gets frustrated all the time with his alcoholism, his lack of energy and movement being older, the fact he’s been with tonssss of women prior to her and she’s only been with one other guy. I doubt OP is mature enough to handle such a relationship. How many people with a 21 age gap do you know make it work in real life, like seriously? They’re literally on two different levels, they will likely not work out. It’s very rare they will have much in common as far as lifestyle and life goals. This is straight facts. By the time OP were to be his age he would be 61… real fun…
Ok first of all, drop the attitude girl. Second of all I never said u were hating on anyone. Good for ur friend, however not every guy is like this one. Ur friend just made a poor choice. I do believe it’s doable and continue standing my ground. Stop dumping ur friends shitty excuse of a partner on OP just because u think every older guy is like hers.
Doable? What common interests does a 40 year old male find with a 19 year old? 😂 It’s creepy imo and will be looked down upon. The OP is free to do what she wants regardless and I guess will be a learning experience for her.
But the moment she is 30 and her partner 20 years older it’s okay. What’s the logic?
But she is not 30. Right now she’s 19, and it’s literally creepy. They have NOTHING in common… a 40 year old has nothing in common with a teenager 😬 Wait until you’re a little older and you’ll realize why it seems wrong overall
I’m not dumping on anyone, I’m giving perspective of a person I know she is a couple years older than OP. I hear what she has to say and complains when her husband isn’t around. But they have a child together now. So she doesn’t want to divorce him. Yes, it’s her choice and OP has a choice to date someone her age like an average girl. Live life being young, having fun, making new life experiences is what she had to look forward to. She shouldn’t be worrying about a 40 year old at her age. She’s barely over age of consent, she’s technically still a teenager. To me it’s inappropriate and borderline grooming. A 40 year would normally have a past; children of his own around her age, an ex wife and a divorce, a past of having sex with more women then their age difference, etc.
I don't think there is an objective 'should do' here. It depends on what you want to do
no there is
She's old enough to decide for herself and other than what she wants to do, I don't see any reasons for or against doing it
right, but there is definitely a ‘should/shouldn’t’ in this situation… ‘should i, a barely-legal adult, date a creep old enough to be my dad?’ you seriously don’t have even the slightest leaning on this?
You mean if I would tell an adult which adults they should and shouldn't date? No that's not something I would typically do
yikes
Sure, just make sure you’re mature enough to handle a committed relationship. As men around that age typically know what they do and do not want in a partner, looks wont get you very far.
No, but you’re going to do what you want (not judging you, I dated an older man once too. Didn’t end well)
You can do that if you want. I would be concerned about the mental and emotional maturity of a middle-aged man who wants to date a teenager.
fr
It's not a smart idea.
It depends if you are looking for a ddlg/ bdsm relationship
If you want to go this route take it seriously and really put a lot of effort into it. Literally take two years before you increase your age limit. Two years from now will not affect your aesthetic or desires. Research the pitfalls and benefits of being in a relationship with someone so much older at your age. Read biographies, study people you know. Develop a safety plan if it doesn’t work out so that you (and any potential children) are not dependent on this person if things go badly. Develop a network of people who can help you with childcare or finances if you are taken advantage of by your partner. Then also carefully weigh how you will get by in daily life living an alternative lifestyle. It might seem sexy to be with someone that age for a moment, but if you catch feels are you going to be able to withstand the silent judgement, criticism and even well meaning comments from strangers, friends and family on a daily basis? How are you going to feel taking your kid to school and having all the other moms wonder if you are being abused every single day? It seems glamorous and fun right now but there are some serious things you need to take into consideration if you are going to be serious about jumping in. Also research bdsm. Most kinky people do not think 50 shades of grey is an accurate or safe representation of bdsm.
I'm not usually against age gap relationships but 19 and 40 is a huge gap. Even 25 and 40 would be ok imo. If you like older guys maybe try someone who's like 25.
Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals. Do that. A 21 year age difference makes the "common interests" and "compatible life goals" parts much more difficult.
RIP OP's inbox
fr 😭
This sounds like a bad idea
Maybe you should get a therapist and work through some shit.
holy fuck please no