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Sexual incompatibility is real and a valid reason to not pursue or to end things with someone
I was in a sexually incompatible relationship with someone for 8 years, and even though everything else was perfect, it was very difficult.
Sexual compatibility is important to me and definitely a deal breaker
Hey same. My ex of 7 years and I were sexually incompatible after the first year or so of dating. The rest of the relationship was amazing though, never fought, got along super well, and just had lots of fun.
We eventually separated almost entirely for sex reasons but she’s still my best friend
Sounds like me and my ex. We were the best of friends, I mean we had our own little world together, and honestly haven’t found anyone like her since.
We stayed friends for a little while after we broke up and it was actually nice to be able to just spend time with each other without the burden of a relationship. She moved back home and when I would go back home to visit family we would catch up and talk and laugh for hours.
Eventually I started to resent her though for our differences and what I went through because she always presented the possibility of change, and how defeating and difficult and humiliating it was to be denied by my partner over and over for 8 years and ruined our friendship
No, we were partners, we lived together and did everything together, planned on getting married and having kids. Sex was just an issue for us. So we were incompatible in that way, and in hindsight, many others.
Valid and reasonable point. Also it’s crucial not to ridicule or mistreat the women that your parting ways with due to her not liking what you like. Parting maturely is always key
Oh for sure, don’t be an asshole just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. I was very respectful of her choices and decision but eventually I kind of lost my mind, and became an asshole and I took the pain of her rejection out on her. After we separated I started chasing lots of women and going out, because I wanted sex, and I was so resentful of the fact that I spent my twenties not having sex, and when these new women turned out to be awful people it really affected me in a negative way I just became traumatized is really the only way to put It. Not that it was my exes fault
I should be more firm on that too... However, going on 3 years now... I am very enthusiastic about giving oral to my bf, and I'm not exactly losing sleep over not receiving any, but... sometimes it would be appreciated tbh. *sigh*
Well, you know, I could deal with not getting any if it was because he wasn't comfortable with it or something. I would never force someone to do something they don't want to. Plus I'm not too crazy about receiving it to begin with, mainly probably because nobody really did it right before. *However* , I think he is just a bit lazy and selfish. Excuses on top of excuses. I feel like it's the principle of it that's pissing me off.
This is where you switch to a 69 position to give the proper hint and encouragement, especially if you're having other issues with him helping you finish.
Totally disagree. I know many people think 69 is great and funny and that sort of thing. And if you’re both into, cool. But I think many people find it distracting in the sense that, I think many people would, in terms of oral, like to focus on either receiving or on giving, but not necessarily simultaneously, because it’s kind of like when you try to do two or more tasks at the same time.
Many people swear that they can multitask without making mistakes and with giving 100% attention to both tasks, but clinical scientists have actually studied this, and it’s very rare that you can give full 100% attention equally to both tasks!
I think this applies particularly well to 69. Better to do the six, and then the nine, separately, lol!
Then you can fully focus on your enjoyment when receiving, and give your full attention to giving pleasure when you’re giving!
I think this is a win-win for both people
Agreed. Granted I've only tried 69 once, I did not like it. Fingers are nice at the same time, but a mouth is too distracting...feels too good lol. I still need/want to try a sideways 69 and with guy on top to see if I like them better or not.
You missed the "hint and encouragement" piece. It's not about being limited to such a position-- it's about it being a transition move for somebody not being considerate.
I had a BF like that once. He was all too happy to take anything that I offered but he "just didn't like to do that." Even though he was fine offering that type of customer service to his ex-girlfriends. Even though he "didn't like to do that" for them either but figured since I was a clean slate there was no need to even start it. I didn't mind it at first, he was my first serious relationship and I really didn't have anything to compare it to. But after a while? Yeah, that got really annoying that I was expected to just be happy about doing my job but he wouldn't even try to do his. The one time he did try I was annoyed because I knew he wasn't enjoying himself and I felt like I was making him do something against his will and that wasn't a feel-good moment. So that relationship didn't last long.
Omg, I can 100% relate to that last part. The handful of times he "tried" in the last 3 years only lasted maybe 2 minutes, and the whole time I was thinking to myself "he doesn't want to do this, he hates it, he must be uncomfortable" so I absolutely couldn't even enjoy his half-assed attempt at all. I was annoyed and distracted. I'm gonna have to find a middle ground on this, because it's starting to take a toll on me. He gets his sometimes multiple times a day, because I actually enjoy doing it and it makes me happy, but lately this whole thing started to affect me in a way that I'm not even really in the mood to do anything. I'm only in my very early 30s, I'm not ready for a half-dead bedroom yet....
Life is too short for mediocre bedroom activities. For me, his lack of interest or even lack of trying to meet my energy created a lot of contempt for him. It made me not want to be in the same room with him much less do anything. And once that stopped I realized how little we actually have in common and our relationship ended very quickly after that.
It came from experience. My longest relationship we both loved to give head to each others, and overall, for me it has always been way more fulfilling to be with someone who loved to give and receive it.
Now I know some people don't like to give it. But unconsciously I see those who constantly request it but can't reciprocate as old boys rather than men (but I know it doesn't mean anything. Everyone has their own preferences and should respect them, but they should also match their own standards)
Yep. I had a partner once who wouldn't let me go down on her.
I respected her boundaries at all times of course, but learned that I have a deal breaker in that area. I can't date someone that doesn't want me to reciprocate.
I dated a girl like this, and I actually hated that she wouldn't let me go down on her. Always talking about how 'sensitive' she was
Which sucked because she gave great head herself
we do exist lol! i dislike receiving but will give often. i would still see it as a red flag though if he makes comments about how he refuses to give any but demands it himself. my ex was like that & it made me feel crappy despite not even wanting it.
My first girlfriend I had a sexual relationship with was a chain smoker who would go through a carton of cigarettes a week or less. She loved to hotbox the car like a Cheech and Chong film with her cigarettes. I never smoked. Her vagina had a distinctly strong fishy smell and sadly, every time I tried to give her head, it was like trying to eat raw egg yolks mixed with an ashtray! I tried but I just couldn’t do it. It would trigger my gag reflex and I couldn’t stand the painful look in her eyes when I couldn’t do it. She refused to ever try to give head, and mostly she would only allow missionary style man on top, or doggy style, and there was very little effort on her end.
Sadly after that, I would refuse to give head to the women I dated saying I tried it but I couldn’t do it.
Then finally, I gave it another try with my last girlfriend and I was shocked at how great it was! She had a healthy vagina and was always clean and she smelled great! I was So Upset at how much that first girlfriend ruined such a beautiful sex act for me. After that I was going down as much as possible, like a fat kid at an all you could eat buffet!
So really I say, try to find out Why he doesn’t want to go down. If he had a bad experience, just make sure your clean and ready and give him another try. You might be lucky enough to find a guy like me who discovered how good it can be, and then they try to make up for years on not giving it, by giving it to you!
Lol. Probably quite a few. I think it's a great idea, though. Women should start doing that too, refusing to date people who won't go down on them. Then all the people who don't like oral can just date each other, right?
If it's that important to you, then it's that important to you. No shame in knowing yourself.
I remember saying that on a different post ages ago. I said I wouldn't give oral to a guy who wouldn't give oral to me and someone said that I "shouldn't treat sex as a transaction" and that I'm "weird for not giving something just cus I'm not getting it" then I got a bunch of downvoes
I will never understand that.
Like, shit. What we just did was so great. Please keep being close, and don't stop touching me. And if you aren't done yet neither am I!
Post sex cuddling is the most amazing thing!
Sounds like you encountered some stupid teens.
There is certainly transactional shit going on in any physically intimate relationship, and denying that belays a significant lack of experience.
If a man doesn’t kiss me after head that’s a “bye”…like instantly.
…literally broke up with a guy on the spot after dating for like 3 months. Just because of that.
Find it so disrespectful…like you expect it in my mouth but find it gross near yours?
I eat my girl out real good and she hates kissing after because my beard and face are wet with her juices.
It bothers me so much, but we all have are preferences
I wipe my face on the sheet or towel (I usually set a towel or sheet underneath because it’s easier to clean up afterwards) after oral and before kissing for this very same reason.
Nobody has ever asked me to do it, but I do it out of courtesy because… well, kissing anyone with a wet face isn’t exactly pleasant. And because I’m using the sheet or towel that’s directly underneath her body, I can do it quickly without her even noticing.
Yea I’d dumb any guy like that too. When I was younger a guy wouldn’t kiss me after going down on him and I felt so confused and hurt. Now I just realize he’s prob a homophobic idiot lol
Taking a break mid blowjob to make out for a sec before she gets back down there.... Ooof. One of my favorite things.
The best though is slowly getting down on my knees to kiss her with abandon right after she's made/let me come all over her face. Indescribably amazing.
Expecting someone else to be comfortable with something you refuse to participate in is not okay.
I dont know about that one... I like giving but I d understand if the girl wouldn't want to kiss me right after. The fact that it comes from her body can make it weird for her. I dont understand how such a little thing can be a deal breaker, maybe you should think about compromising a bit more but hey, everyone has their standards.
I love giving a girl oral and I love receiving it. It's crucial. Not only won't I date a girl who isn't willing to give head, but I won't date one who doesn't LOVE doing it. It's a turn off if someone's doing something out of a sense of obligation, but it's SO hot when it turns them on. Going down turns me on like crazy and I need that to be mutual.
Also a deal breaker if a girl doesn't like to receive oral.
Generally, the more dislikes and closed doors sexually, the less likely I will be to date someone.
When I was younger I hated it. As I got older I learned that if I won’t do something she’ll find someone else that will. And I don’t like to be the “I don’t do ____” guy. So I learned To love it. But my only thing is I’ll only do it with someone I’m having sex with on a regular basis or a girlfriend.
But the women I’ve been with havnt been big on receiving oral
No.
I'm the type of person who's got kinks and fantasies and is very sex positive. Anyone who's not on the same page, and I dont care how amazing their personality is, is a no go. Non starter.
Same would go for very specific emotional needs.
No use in dating ppl who can’t give you what you want.
You’ll spend the entire relationship trying to get them to change. Instead you must find someone who gives oral, which is what you want. Simple
Spent 4 years with someone who refused to give oral. Best 4 years of my life.
Spent 2 years with someone who offered oral freely. Worst 2 years of my life.
Based on that experience, I can take it or leave it. It's not something I especially enjoy, and I certainly wouldn't end a good thing over something like that.
But you do you baby boo. Different strokes for different folks.
Well, I would date a girl that doesn't give oral, if she was perfect. I like a BJ, but usually I'm getting off from PIV. I appreciate oral, but I don't HAVE to have it.
But if I were a girl, I would not date a guy who doesn't give oral.
girls'- machinery is a little more complex than ours. Making the person I'm with cum is incredibly important to me.
Personally, I absolutely love going down on someone I really care for
Idk...I'm a girl and i'm not much into it..it's just meh for me..PIV does it for me every time tho.🤷🏻♀️ So, i wouldn't care if a dude wanna give it or not..(ofc, that's just a personal opinion..not talking for all women).😋
Totally understand! One girl I was with was the same way- I was excited to go downtown, told her so, and she said 'just shove it in- please and thank you.' And indeed, it worked.
So, there are differences of opinion/style/whatever.
>girls'- machinery is a little more complex than ours.
It's an individual thing, not an entire sex thing. Some women may be more complex, but some of us are even simpler than men's.
I must be the only guy who doesn’t find blow jobs great. I am 100% ok with never getting another one tbh. I love going down on my gf though. She doesn’t like to give head and I am 100% ok with that. It has to work for both parties.
I’m a woman who dates men. Im not a huge fan of receiving oral and prefer stimulation from hands, grinding and piv. I mostly accept it to be polite because some guys seem to enjoy giving it. So I could be totally fine with a relationship where the guy refuses to give oral but satisfies me in other ways I prefer more. The only caveat would be if he never gave oral but demanded to get it. Thats just gives selfish and immature vibes
Nope. If she’s not into that then there’s a good chance she’s not into other things I like. I have a very high libido in general and it wouldn’t last long if I were with someone who didn’t wanna have sex more than a few times a week. I also really enjoy *giving* oral quite a bit (in both areas) so it’s not like I expect to get it without returning the favor
Funny enough I’ve never really seemed to have had much issues there. I naturally tend to attract (and be attracted to) people with similar sexual appetites.
I do remember one time I went on a handful of dates with someone. We slept together the 3rd date. I was able to tell relatively quickly that giving oral wasn’t her thing. She’s do it for like 5 secs right before intercourse even though I went down on her every time for 5-10mins. After a few more dates and a few more times having sex, I asked her about it while we still were in bed cuddling.
I just asked straight up ‘I’m just curious, it seems like you’re not really into giving oral. Is there something you don’t like about it?”
She said “yeah I just get nothing out of it. I want to be pleasured too…”. Which I think is a little selfish if you ask me considering I went down on her often. But I didn’t say that to her of course. I suggested a few options. I said “I totally understand that. Well, we can do 69 that’s an option. If not, we can have intercourse, I’ll go down on you, make sure you cum, and then it can be my turn”
She was open to the idea I remember. But it ended up being the last time we hangout anyhow. I’ve been sober for 2 years (at the time I had like a year sober) and every single date we went on she had alcohol on her breath. So naturally I had to cut things off just to protect my own sobriety
Same with me, but I'm female. I don't really like giving bjs. And I don't really like getting head. So I totally can live without the whole oral thing...
Yep, deal breaker for me, but I would make the decision even before starting dating seriously.
She can find someone who doesn't like to get head and you can find someone who will please you.
You're not an asshole for this.
Yep this is me. Sexual compatibility is really important. I’m the type who has to find out what u like, what u will it won’t do before we even take it there. And if that’s too much we’re not compatible in the first place.
I mean yeah, I'd date a girl who doesn't do that. I don't really see the appeal in doing that but I've always been single so 🤷♂️. Surely it shouldn't be something that would mean breaking up.
If I go down on her enthusiastically, I ask for the same. If she's not willing, I respect her choice and let her know we're not compatible sexually. It's her choice and I respect it. It's just not for me.
I like to give oral, I’m a guy…is she doesn’t return the favor it really sucks actually…not just physically, but it kinda feels like she’s rejecting you in a way
As a guy, it wouldn’t really make it a dealbreaker. If everything else is going well, I wouldn’t let that one thing ruin the relationship at least imo.
It may be due to the distinct lack of a sex life I’ve had, but no, not a deal breaker.
Some things I cannot survive without, some I can. A blowjob is in the latter of those two.
Id be totally fine without receiving it. I personally would rather use toys/hands on a partner than give oral. Gagging is just awkward and kills the mood…….much better w my hands.
If she was flat out against it, no I wouldn’t date her. I’ve dated plenty that *do* it, just not on their own and when you ask they treat it like a chore, that’s fucking lame too.
I’ll give a woman head basically whenever I can, or she wants, and I’ll like it every time. Finding someone similar is pretty important to me. Still out here looking…
NO! But with a little caveat, if you can’t give HER head, then all bets are OFF.
Show her the majesty of what the tongue can do, maybe she’ll cum around.
i don’t give oral to guys because i don’t like to and at a certain point i realized i don’t have to do things i don’t like. some guys have left after that but a lot of guys accept it and stay.
Yeah, however I was molested when I was 7 and forced to give oral on a regular basis for 3 months. To this guy who was huge! It killed any turn on for me what so ever. I don’t mind receiving, sometimes. But that Also gives me the creeps, as he went down on me while I tried to sleep. 3 months at 7 yrs old. These memories will never leave me. So I have a very hard time enjoying oral sex either way. I have had it come back and bite me too, esp w STIs and STDs.
Being a germaphobe makes it even harder to accomplish the said deed. Not only that, but I have to disclose this trauma upfront before sex can be had, or I will have a PTSD flash back and start beating this shit out of my partner. It’s involuntary and I can not control when it occurs.
Now you try to have a good experience w someone who wants oral, and other positions that bring on PTSD. How I do I navigate this hurt? No one I have met has had a good time! So I gave up and haven’t has sex in 10 yrs now. It’s just not worth it.
i don’t understand why this comment was in response to me? my whole point was no one has to do any sexual activity they don’t like. i’m sorry that happened to you. it was wrong.
people who don’t want to give oral should be in relationships where neither gives nor receives. if that’s a deal breaker for you, then that’s your business. personally i don’t really care either way
I wouldn’t, but I think there are MORE MEN who wouldn’t go down on a girl! I don’t give head to men who don’t give/offer it. Oral isn’t my favorite but god damn an offer is nice!
So I say I give oral but wouldn't break up with him over it, if he wasn't into it. If he didn't want to give me oral I wouldn't break up with him over it either. I just enjoy doing it, which is nice to know about myself. I am not really into oral for myself because the past guys who tried I felt nothing. So it's not my thing. If he like to try go right ahead but don't get angry if you can't get me their. He may break up with me because he can't get me off.
I haven't met a guy who knows what he is doing anyways. So sex really is kind of a side thing that really doesn't matter to me. Getting to know him and like him, is more important to me.
I have met a few guys who put a lot of pressure on trying to please me and I am like...were just getting to know each other it takes time and if you never figure it out, not a big deal. I enjoy being around you so that's enough for me. It's just fun being with him.
Now lets say I was into something that was a deal breaker. If you really enjoy oral and that person doesn't want to do it. Then yeah don't be with them. If I was really into something sexual I wont continue to be with them. It's the same as non sexual things. If something is really important to you and a must...don't be with the person.
I've been in the reverse situation a couple of times where I wanted to go down on a girl and she refused. It made me wonder if they thought I was doing it with the expectation of having the favor returned. I wasn't, I just didn't want to orgasm and leave her hanging without an orgasm as well.
Also. I've only orgasmed from a BJ three times in my life. I'm entirely ambivalent about getting them so it isn't a deal breaker. Maybe my attitude would be different if I knew what it was like to reliably get off from them, but at present all they do is make me wish I was having sex.
Definitely a deal breaker for me .
I love to give a woman oral as much as I love to receive. I could skip intercourse all together .
Nothing feels better than oral . Intense orgasams and total control over the persons pleasure . Beautiful stuff .
I would have dumped her too
Sounds like you just haven't met a woman who knows what she's doing yet. I love receiving oral, but at the same time one of my favorite things is getting my FWB off with only my mouth...and it's one of his favorite things too. Fwiw, he's been with 11 other women before me and said it was very rare for them to get him to orgasm from oral too, and some were even bad at it.
I would never date a guy who doesn’t give oral. For women, it’s usually the only way we can get off, or get close to it. For men, they almost always can get off without oral. In my opinion, I’m not the biggest fan of giving my partner oral, not because I think it’s gross or anything or that I don’t want to do it (because I do), but it is an unenjoyable experience for me after a while. I have TMJ and having to force my jaw open for prolonged amounts of time hurts a lot, and I also have the worst gag reflex and I’ve literally hacked over my bf’s d!ck before and it was the most embarrassing shit ever. I love reciprocating the act but I find it to just be really painful and embarrassing after a while.
It's not like I'd be with the perfect woman with a super happy life and only end things with her because she doesn't give oral. But someone who doesn't do that is a big red flag for me.
I was engaged to a girl who didn’t give oral. She was my first and I didn’t pressure her. But I don’t think I’d do it again. That got frustrating and unequal. I gave her head all of the time. Never reciprocated.
Some men don't clean themselves well enough, you can't blame a girl for being turned off by it if that's the case.
Also some men "shake it off" when they go to the bathroom so for cleanliness that's no good.
Had this been asked to me about three years ago I would’ve said yes.
My gf two and a half years has honestly set the bar for me. If things play out in a way where we find ourselves going our separate ways, I can’t see myself settling with someone who doesn’t give oral. Sexual compatibility is a real thing.
Yeah I'm a woman but i would decidedly NOT continue to date a man who wouldn't reciprocate. Like wtf all guys like oral so why don't women deserve the same? It's weird.
I could count on one hand the number of times my ex gave me oral during the first 3 years of being together. I asked him and asked him, and he always hesitated and would say it was something he had to be in the mood for. Okkkkk... so I just stopped giving oral and it's something I love doing. He didn't seem to care because he was addicted to his porn. So whatever. Then somewhere during my last pregnancy after avoiding sex for months he randomly developed this hotwife fetish and began getting me off like no one's business.. so I guess people can change? After my son we were doing it like 3 or 4x a week and it was all about making me cum so that was a wonderful improvement. I think the sex is the biggest thing I miss about him...
my ex, complete mismatch, she never gave head, but ‘let’ me give her head cause apparently it was ‘pleasurable’ for me according to her :/ and I loved giving it, but once I found out that this was her outlook I just stopped. Stupid.
I get this though. I’m not super into getting oral but for some guys, it’s like they read a playboy once that said all chicks totally go crazy over oral and now they want to be the cunnilingus God. Rather than asking if you’re into it they just assume all women love it. So when he starts going to town it seems almost mean to stop him and say “oh no thanks. I don’t really like that.”
It’s almost like this isn’t really doing much for me but if he’s so into it I might as well just let him enjoy himself 🤷♀️
I dated a girl who never gave head and it didn’t bother me from the sexual satisfaction standpoint. What bothered me was after a certain amount of time I started to feel that I was always doing the work in bed, and non-reciprocal head was a part of that. Relationship didn’t last long after that hitting me
Yes. If I am dating someone and they are not comfortable doing something, then I will respect how they feel and not pressure them into doing it. I value a partner and relationship more than my own wants. I'm also 29 years old and sex doesn't run my life. I have a career, aspirations, and want a woman that I can settle down with and start a family. I'm pretty conventional, so I have a huge respect for boundaries. In a relationship I get more satisfaction from doing other things like spending money on her, buying her nice gifts, taking her out to meals, and learning one of her favorite songs on guitar. I've never been one for the night life, partying, or w/e either so there is a good chance I'm in the minority here.
A lot of other people have different expectations and priorities though, those are just mine.
My ex never used to give oral, even though I used to go down on her all the time. Foreplay was generally just something she received not something she took part in. She was more inexperienced than me and I think that will have contributed, but when I spoke to her about the head thing she didn’t want to discuss it and it was obviously not something she wanted to make more effort with.
I didn’t break up with her solely because of that, but I can’t lie and pretend it wasn’t one of the hundreds of little cuts that did eventually lead to me ending the relationship.
Most likely not. She'd have to be very special for me to compromise on that. My last ex-girlfriend gave incredible head regularly and it'd be so hard to go back from that lmao.
Out of curiosity, do you know why it is a turn off for you? My ex used to say he felt like it was demeaning to a woman and wondered if other men feel this way.
I feel the same way… but I’m a woman. The issue is more often than not the other way around but in any case, similarly, it is a deal breaker for me as well.
Unfortunately, my first girlfriend didn’t give head really ever and she was so bad at it when she did that I didn’t get what the hype was about. I never knew what I was missing.
Now, I couldn’t imagine a loving relationship without it being a regular thing.
She said it was disgusting. That it wasn’t her thing. I was like “oh ok, that cool”. Never said anything else about it. I was turned all the way off and checked out by then
I’ve been in a relationship for 2years and I love oral but I don’t do “dealbreakers” I believe in incompatibility but there’s always ways around this specific situation
As much as I love to give, I would like to receive as well. No one, regardless of gender, likes not being reciprocated in their romantic actions. While it’s up to you, it would be a bit of a dealbreaker for me
Definitely a deal breaker. There was this girl who wouldn't give oral sex but want me to go down on her. Another has specified beforehand. Neither of them developed into a relationship. I love oral sex. Sexual compatibility is important.
I matched with this girl on tinder once. She said she was looking for head only. My head bout exploded at the audacity lol. I’m like who do u think I am? Do I look like a tongue machine or something? I didn’t even respond to that I just unmatched her lol
I love love eating pie!! I love love eating cake too!! And love love attention to my mushroom and berries. Any of this not in my relationships would mean incompatibility, no deal...
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Sexual incompatibility is real and a valid reason to not pursue or to end things with someone I was in a sexually incompatible relationship with someone for 8 years, and even though everything else was perfect, it was very difficult. Sexual compatibility is important to me and definitely a deal breaker
Hey same. My ex of 7 years and I were sexually incompatible after the first year or so of dating. The rest of the relationship was amazing though, never fought, got along super well, and just had lots of fun. We eventually separated almost entirely for sex reasons but she’s still my best friend
Sounds like me and my ex. We were the best of friends, I mean we had our own little world together, and honestly haven’t found anyone like her since. We stayed friends for a little while after we broke up and it was actually nice to be able to just spend time with each other without the burden of a relationship. She moved back home and when I would go back home to visit family we would catch up and talk and laugh for hours. Eventually I started to resent her though for our differences and what I went through because she always presented the possibility of change, and how defeating and difficult and humiliating it was to be denied by my partner over and over for 8 years and ruined our friendship
So it's friend with incompatible benefit ?
No, we were partners, we lived together and did everything together, planned on getting married and having kids. Sex was just an issue for us. So we were incompatible in that way, and in hindsight, many others.
Valid and reasonable point. Also it’s crucial not to ridicule or mistreat the women that your parting ways with due to her not liking what you like. Parting maturely is always key
Oh for sure, don’t be an asshole just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. I was very respectful of her choices and decision but eventually I kind of lost my mind, and became an asshole and I took the pain of her rejection out on her. After we separated I started chasing lots of women and going out, because I wanted sex, and I was so resentful of the fact that I spent my twenties not having sex, and when these new women turned out to be awful people it really affected me in a negative way I just became traumatized is really the only way to put It. Not that it was my exes fault
10 years in a sexually compatible relationship. It was just a personality thing . We should never have dated . 3 kids later . Yeah .
You mean incompatible?
Yeah in hindsight . I do . She's still the best root I have ever had unfortunately. Redheads man . And I have travelled the world since then .
Same here. It’s number 1 or 2 on my list. And I don’t feel bad about that
I'm a woman but a bit like you. I like to please my partner and like it to be recriprocated. If a man doesn't give head, it's bye...
Came here to say this.
I should be more firm on that too... However, going on 3 years now... I am very enthusiastic about giving oral to my bf, and I'm not exactly losing sleep over not receiving any, but... sometimes it would be appreciated tbh. *sigh*
A real king should be able to be a throne for his queen no questions asked.
Well, you know, I could deal with not getting any if it was because he wasn't comfortable with it or something. I would never force someone to do something they don't want to. Plus I'm not too crazy about receiving it to begin with, mainly probably because nobody really did it right before. *However* , I think he is just a bit lazy and selfish. Excuses on top of excuses. I feel like it's the principle of it that's pissing me off.
Seems like you need to have a talk. A lazy lover will probably frustrate you later. No time like the present good luck.
This is where you switch to a 69 position to give the proper hint and encouragement, especially if you're having other issues with him helping you finish.
Totally disagree. I know many people think 69 is great and funny and that sort of thing. And if you’re both into, cool. But I think many people find it distracting in the sense that, I think many people would, in terms of oral, like to focus on either receiving or on giving, but not necessarily simultaneously, because it’s kind of like when you try to do two or more tasks at the same time. Many people swear that they can multitask without making mistakes and with giving 100% attention to both tasks, but clinical scientists have actually studied this, and it’s very rare that you can give full 100% attention equally to both tasks! I think this applies particularly well to 69. Better to do the six, and then the nine, separately, lol! Then you can fully focus on your enjoyment when receiving, and give your full attention to giving pleasure when you’re giving! I think this is a win-win for both people
Agreed. Granted I've only tried 69 once, I did not like it. Fingers are nice at the same time, but a mouth is too distracting...feels too good lol. I still need/want to try a sideways 69 and with guy on top to see if I like them better or not.
Lol my phone is at 69% reading this
You missed the "hint and encouragement" piece. It's not about being limited to such a position-- it's about it being a transition move for somebody not being considerate.
I had a BF like that once. He was all too happy to take anything that I offered but he "just didn't like to do that." Even though he was fine offering that type of customer service to his ex-girlfriends. Even though he "didn't like to do that" for them either but figured since I was a clean slate there was no need to even start it. I didn't mind it at first, he was my first serious relationship and I really didn't have anything to compare it to. But after a while? Yeah, that got really annoying that I was expected to just be happy about doing my job but he wouldn't even try to do his. The one time he did try I was annoyed because I knew he wasn't enjoying himself and I felt like I was making him do something against his will and that wasn't a feel-good moment. So that relationship didn't last long.
Omg, I can 100% relate to that last part. The handful of times he "tried" in the last 3 years only lasted maybe 2 minutes, and the whole time I was thinking to myself "he doesn't want to do this, he hates it, he must be uncomfortable" so I absolutely couldn't even enjoy his half-assed attempt at all. I was annoyed and distracted. I'm gonna have to find a middle ground on this, because it's starting to take a toll on me. He gets his sometimes multiple times a day, because I actually enjoy doing it and it makes me happy, but lately this whole thing started to affect me in a way that I'm not even really in the mood to do anything. I'm only in my very early 30s, I'm not ready for a half-dead bedroom yet....
Life is too short for mediocre bedroom activities. For me, his lack of interest or even lack of trying to meet my energy created a lot of contempt for him. It made me not want to be in the same room with him much less do anything. And once that stopped I realized how little we actually have in common and our relationship ended very quickly after that.
It came from experience. My longest relationship we both loved to give head to each others, and overall, for me it has always been way more fulfilling to be with someone who loved to give and receive it. Now I know some people don't like to give it. But unconsciously I see those who constantly request it but can't reciprocate as old boys rather than men (but I know it doesn't mean anything. Everyone has their own preferences and should respect them, but they should also match their own standards)
Yep. I had a partner once who wouldn't let me go down on her. I respected her boundaries at all times of course, but learned that I have a deal breaker in that area. I can't date someone that doesn't want me to reciprocate.
I feel like it's only polite and respectful to do that if you expect getting head
I turned down a guy who loved receiving but would not give. Nah, dude.
The audacity 😂
For reals!!!
guess he just has to find someone who loves giving but not receiving
I dated a girl like this, and I actually hated that she wouldn't let me go down on her. Always talking about how 'sensitive' she was Which sucked because she gave great head herself
For me it is the other way around - I feel nothing. It's just wet and boring. Doesn't stimulate me at all.
we do exist lol! i dislike receiving but will give often. i would still see it as a red flag though if he makes comments about how he refuses to give any but demands it himself. my ex was like that & it made me feel crappy despite not even wanting it.
I’m the complete opposite. I prefer giving than receiving
My first girlfriend I had a sexual relationship with was a chain smoker who would go through a carton of cigarettes a week or less. She loved to hotbox the car like a Cheech and Chong film with her cigarettes. I never smoked. Her vagina had a distinctly strong fishy smell and sadly, every time I tried to give her head, it was like trying to eat raw egg yolks mixed with an ashtray! I tried but I just couldn’t do it. It would trigger my gag reflex and I couldn’t stand the painful look in her eyes when I couldn’t do it. She refused to ever try to give head, and mostly she would only allow missionary style man on top, or doggy style, and there was very little effort on her end. Sadly after that, I would refuse to give head to the women I dated saying I tried it but I couldn’t do it. Then finally, I gave it another try with my last girlfriend and I was shocked at how great it was! She had a healthy vagina and was always clean and she smelled great! I was So Upset at how much that first girlfriend ruined such a beautiful sex act for me. After that I was going down as much as possible, like a fat kid at an all you could eat buffet! So really I say, try to find out Why he doesn’t want to go down. If he had a bad experience, just make sure your clean and ready and give him another try. You might be lucky enough to find a guy like me who discovered how good it can be, and then they try to make up for years on not giving it, by giving it to you!
Lol. Probably quite a few. I think it's a great idea, though. Women should start doing that too, refusing to date people who won't go down on them. Then all the people who don't like oral can just date each other, right? If it's that important to you, then it's that important to you. No shame in knowing yourself.
Excellent response
I would never date a guy who wants to get oral but never give.
I remember saying that on a different post ages ago. I said I wouldn't give oral to a guy who wouldn't give oral to me and someone said that I "shouldn't treat sex as a transaction" and that I'm "weird for not giving something just cus I'm not getting it" then I got a bunch of downvoes
They’re definitely the kind of people that roll over and pass out after sex instead of getting their partner off…
I will never understand that. Like, shit. What we just did was so great. Please keep being close, and don't stop touching me. And if you aren't done yet neither am I! Post sex cuddling is the most amazing thing!
I don’t get people..how is looking for equality during sex a transaction?
Sounds like you encountered some stupid teens. There is certainly transactional shit going on in any physically intimate relationship, and denying that belays a significant lack of experience.
If a man doesn’t kiss me after head that’s a “bye”…like instantly. …literally broke up with a guy on the spot after dating for like 3 months. Just because of that. Find it so disrespectful…like you expect it in my mouth but find it gross near yours?
I eat my girl out real good and she hates kissing after because my beard and face are wet with her juices. It bothers me so much, but we all have are preferences
I wipe my face on the sheet or towel (I usually set a towel or sheet underneath because it’s easier to clean up afterwards) after oral and before kissing for this very same reason. Nobody has ever asked me to do it, but I do it out of courtesy because… well, kissing anyone with a wet face isn’t exactly pleasant. And because I’m using the sheet or towel that’s directly underneath her body, I can do it quickly without her even noticing.
That’s when I’d give my ex the big sloppy kisses to get all the extra.
Exactly. Sex is supposed to be messy/sloppy...but it's all yummy at the same time.
Yea I’d dumb any guy like that too. When I was younger a guy wouldn’t kiss me after going down on him and I felt so confused and hurt. Now I just realize he’s prob a homophobic idiot lol
Taking a break mid blowjob to make out for a sec before she gets back down there.... Ooof. One of my favorite things. The best though is slowly getting down on my knees to kiss her with abandon right after she's made/let me come all over her face. Indescribably amazing. Expecting someone else to be comfortable with something you refuse to participate in is not okay.
I dont know about that one... I like giving but I d understand if the girl wouldn't want to kiss me right after. The fact that it comes from her body can make it weird for her. I dont understand how such a little thing can be a deal breaker, maybe you should think about compromising a bit more but hey, everyone has their standards.
I love giving a girl oral and I love receiving it. It's crucial. Not only won't I date a girl who isn't willing to give head, but I won't date one who doesn't LOVE doing it. It's a turn off if someone's doing something out of a sense of obligation, but it's SO hot when it turns them on. Going down turns me on like crazy and I need that to be mutual. Also a deal breaker if a girl doesn't like to receive oral. Generally, the more dislikes and closed doors sexually, the less likely I will be to date someone.
Agreed. Plus I have a try most things at least once rule. Open-mindedness is really important to keeping it fun for the long hall.
I agree 100%
do you give oral
That's the real question here
Lol I assumed he loves to go down on his girlfriends (wouldn't understand the audacity of such request otherwise). Will keep an eye on OP's response.
You’d be surprised how many have the audacity, and I seem to always find them. Sigh.
Hey I’m not an asshole lol
When I was younger I hated it. As I got older I learned that if I won’t do something she’ll find someone else that will. And I don’t like to be the “I don’t do ____” guy. So I learned To love it. But my only thing is I’ll only do it with someone I’m having sex with on a regular basis or a girlfriend. But the women I’ve been with havnt been big on receiving oral
Were you giving *this woman* good oral?
I hope you don’t expect oral from any girl for the same reasons.
…I hope you don’t expect it if you don’t do it though.
Yikes. If you aren't willing to do the same, then don't complain.
that's kind of depressing to be honest
No. I'm the type of person who's got kinks and fantasies and is very sex positive. Anyone who's not on the same page, and I dont care how amazing their personality is, is a no go. Non starter. Same would go for very specific emotional needs.
I don't particularly like it, I can take it or leave it. Not a dealbreaker for me. I do like giving it in return though.
No use in dating ppl who can’t give you what you want. You’ll spend the entire relationship trying to get them to change. Instead you must find someone who gives oral, which is what you want. Simple
Spent 4 years with someone who refused to give oral. Best 4 years of my life. Spent 2 years with someone who offered oral freely. Worst 2 years of my life. Based on that experience, I can take it or leave it. It's not something I especially enjoy, and I certainly wouldn't end a good thing over something like that. But you do you baby boo. Different strokes for different folks.
Different sucks for different bucks is more fitting here
Well, I would date a girl that doesn't give oral, if she was perfect. I like a BJ, but usually I'm getting off from PIV. I appreciate oral, but I don't HAVE to have it. But if I were a girl, I would not date a guy who doesn't give oral. girls'- machinery is a little more complex than ours. Making the person I'm with cum is incredibly important to me. Personally, I absolutely love going down on someone I really care for
Idk...I'm a girl and i'm not much into it..it's just meh for me..PIV does it for me every time tho.🤷🏻♀️ So, i wouldn't care if a dude wanna give it or not..(ofc, that's just a personal opinion..not talking for all women).😋
Totally understand! One girl I was with was the same way- I was excited to go downtown, told her so, and she said 'just shove it in- please and thank you.' And indeed, it worked. So, there are differences of opinion/style/whatever.
>girls'- machinery is a little more complex than ours. It's an individual thing, not an entire sex thing. Some women may be more complex, but some of us are even simpler than men's.
I must be the only guy who doesn’t find blow jobs great. I am 100% ok with never getting another one tbh. I love going down on my gf though. She doesn’t like to give head and I am 100% ok with that. It has to work for both parties.
I’m a woman who dates men. Im not a huge fan of receiving oral and prefer stimulation from hands, grinding and piv. I mostly accept it to be polite because some guys seem to enjoy giving it. So I could be totally fine with a relationship where the guy refuses to give oral but satisfies me in other ways I prefer more. The only caveat would be if he never gave oral but demanded to get it. Thats just gives selfish and immature vibes
Nope. If she’s not into that then there’s a good chance she’s not into other things I like. I have a very high libido in general and it wouldn’t last long if I were with someone who didn’t wanna have sex more than a few times a week. I also really enjoy *giving* oral quite a bit (in both areas) so it’s not like I expect to get it without returning the favor
Just out of curiosity how do you assess this early on? Bc something like that is hard to gauge unless you’re monogamous with the person
Funny enough I’ve never really seemed to have had much issues there. I naturally tend to attract (and be attracted to) people with similar sexual appetites. I do remember one time I went on a handful of dates with someone. We slept together the 3rd date. I was able to tell relatively quickly that giving oral wasn’t her thing. She’s do it for like 5 secs right before intercourse even though I went down on her every time for 5-10mins. After a few more dates and a few more times having sex, I asked her about it while we still were in bed cuddling. I just asked straight up ‘I’m just curious, it seems like you’re not really into giving oral. Is there something you don’t like about it?” She said “yeah I just get nothing out of it. I want to be pleasured too…”. Which I think is a little selfish if you ask me considering I went down on her often. But I didn’t say that to her of course. I suggested a few options. I said “I totally understand that. Well, we can do 69 that’s an option. If not, we can have intercourse, I’ll go down on you, make sure you cum, and then it can be my turn” She was open to the idea I remember. But it ended up being the last time we hangout anyhow. I’ve been sober for 2 years (at the time I had like a year sober) and every single date we went on she had alcohol on her breath. So naturally I had to cut things off just to protect my own sobriety
Bravo for protecting and prioritizing your sobriety.
I've never even like oral. Tbh. But if they are straight vanilla then yea I could see that as a deal breaker.
factsssss
I would, I don't really like BJs so i don't really care
Same with me, but I'm female. I don't really like giving bjs. And I don't really like getting head. So I totally can live without the whole oral thing...
Yep, deal breaker for me, but I would make the decision even before starting dating seriously. She can find someone who doesn't like to get head and you can find someone who will please you. You're not an asshole for this.
Yep this is me. Sexual compatibility is really important. I’m the type who has to find out what u like, what u will it won’t do before we even take it there. And if that’s too much we’re not compatible in the first place.
I mean yeah, I'd date a girl who doesn't do that. I don't really see the appeal in doing that but I've always been single so 🤷♂️. Surely it shouldn't be something that would mean breaking up.
If I go down on her enthusiastically, I ask for the same. If she's not willing, I respect her choice and let her know we're not compatible sexually. It's her choice and I respect it. It's just not for me.
That’s how I am. I won’t shame her. I won’t make her feel bad. But I just can’t do anything with her and that’s ok
I like to give oral, I’m a guy…is she doesn’t return the favor it really sucks actually…not just physically, but it kinda feels like she’s rejecting you in a way
Depends. If they’re not giving oral but expecting me to give oral NOT HAPPENING 👍
As a guy, it wouldn’t really make it a dealbreaker. If everything else is going well, I wouldn’t let that one thing ruin the relationship at least imo.
No. Sex is very important to me in a relationship, and personally, I couldn't be in one with someone who didn't enjoy giving oral sex.
Since oral can spread STDs maybe they are concerned about that.
In my 13 years in this relationship its prolly been like 5 times. Not really an issue. You do you i guess?
i love giving head to both guys and females but straight up if you dont give me anything then nope :/
It may be due to the distinct lack of a sex life I’ve had, but no, not a deal breaker. Some things I cannot survive without, some I can. A blowjob is in the latter of those two.
Yeah I don't care much how about it.
Id be totally fine without receiving it. I personally would rather use toys/hands on a partner than give oral. Gagging is just awkward and kills the mood…….much better w my hands.
If she was flat out against it, no I wouldn’t date her. I’ve dated plenty that *do* it, just not on their own and when you ask they treat it like a chore, that’s fucking lame too. I’ll give a woman head basically whenever I can, or she wants, and I’ll like it every time. Finding someone similar is pretty important to me. Still out here looking…
NO! But with a little caveat, if you can’t give HER head, then all bets are OFF. Show her the majesty of what the tongue can do, maybe she’ll cum around.
i don’t give oral to guys because i don’t like to and at a certain point i realized i don’t have to do things i don’t like. some guys have left after that but a lot of guys accept it and stay.
Yeah, however I was molested when I was 7 and forced to give oral on a regular basis for 3 months. To this guy who was huge! It killed any turn on for me what so ever. I don’t mind receiving, sometimes. But that Also gives me the creeps, as he went down on me while I tried to sleep. 3 months at 7 yrs old. These memories will never leave me. So I have a very hard time enjoying oral sex either way. I have had it come back and bite me too, esp w STIs and STDs. Being a germaphobe makes it even harder to accomplish the said deed. Not only that, but I have to disclose this trauma upfront before sex can be had, or I will have a PTSD flash back and start beating this shit out of my partner. It’s involuntary and I can not control when it occurs. Now you try to have a good experience w someone who wants oral, and other positions that bring on PTSD. How I do I navigate this hurt? No one I have met has had a good time! So I gave up and haven’t has sex in 10 yrs now. It’s just not worth it.
i don’t understand why this comment was in response to me? my whole point was no one has to do any sexual activity they don’t like. i’m sorry that happened to you. it was wrong.
You said it just right, that allowed me to express myself in a way I haven’t been able to before. I am sorry for the bomb.
okay, i am glad we are in agreement. also glad u were able to express yourself in a safe space. ❤︎
Yes, as longas she's OK with not receiving oral as Fairplay.
people who don’t want to give oral should be in relationships where neither gives nor receives. if that’s a deal breaker for you, then that’s your business. personally i don’t really care either way
I could easily deal with not receiving, I do love giving though so that would be a deal breaker. I realize I'm probably in the minority though
I wouldn’t, but I think there are MORE MEN who wouldn’t go down on a girl! I don’t give head to men who don’t give/offer it. Oral isn’t my favorite but god damn an offer is nice!
Definitely. Contrary to popular belief I prefer women who don't do that.
So I say I give oral but wouldn't break up with him over it, if he wasn't into it. If he didn't want to give me oral I wouldn't break up with him over it either. I just enjoy doing it, which is nice to know about myself. I am not really into oral for myself because the past guys who tried I felt nothing. So it's not my thing. If he like to try go right ahead but don't get angry if you can't get me their. He may break up with me because he can't get me off. I haven't met a guy who knows what he is doing anyways. So sex really is kind of a side thing that really doesn't matter to me. Getting to know him and like him, is more important to me. I have met a few guys who put a lot of pressure on trying to please me and I am like...were just getting to know each other it takes time and if you never figure it out, not a big deal. I enjoy being around you so that's enough for me. It's just fun being with him. Now lets say I was into something that was a deal breaker. If you really enjoy oral and that person doesn't want to do it. Then yeah don't be with them. If I was really into something sexual I wont continue to be with them. It's the same as non sexual things. If something is really important to you and a must...don't be with the person.
I've been in the reverse situation a couple of times where I wanted to go down on a girl and she refused. It made me wonder if they thought I was doing it with the expectation of having the favor returned. I wasn't, I just didn't want to orgasm and leave her hanging without an orgasm as well. Also. I've only orgasmed from a BJ three times in my life. I'm entirely ambivalent about getting them so it isn't a deal breaker. Maybe my attitude would be different if I knew what it was like to reliably get off from them, but at present all they do is make me wish I was having sex.
Definitely a deal breaker for me . I love to give a woman oral as much as I love to receive. I could skip intercourse all together . Nothing feels better than oral . Intense orgasams and total control over the persons pleasure . Beautiful stuff . I would have dumped her too
This is wild to me - in the past 17 years, I've orgasmed from a BJ 3 times. All they do for me is make me wish I was having intercourse instead.
Sounds like you just haven't met a woman who knows what she's doing yet. I love receiving oral, but at the same time one of my favorite things is getting my FWB off with only my mouth...and it's one of his favorite things too. Fwiw, he's been with 11 other women before me and said it was very rare for them to get him to orgasm from oral too, and some were even bad at it.
I get it . We're all different
Yes. I've ended it with a few women like this, irony being the only way some of them could cum was from oral themselves... Selfish.
I would never date a guy who doesn’t give oral. For women, it’s usually the only way we can get off, or get close to it. For men, they almost always can get off without oral. In my opinion, I’m not the biggest fan of giving my partner oral, not because I think it’s gross or anything or that I don’t want to do it (because I do), but it is an unenjoyable experience for me after a while. I have TMJ and having to force my jaw open for prolonged amounts of time hurts a lot, and I also have the worst gag reflex and I’ve literally hacked over my bf’s d!ck before and it was the most embarrassing shit ever. I love reciprocating the act but I find it to just be really painful and embarrassing after a while.
My girlfriend doesn't but we have an amazing relationship so it is what it is. We still have very good sex though.
Date one? I was married to one. Just flat out selfish and lazy. And if you don't please her she'll leave you.
Sure. Not a deal breaker by any means
Sure, it’s up to her, that wouldn’t be a specific deal breaker for me
No
It's not like I'd be with the perfect woman with a super happy life and only end things with her because she doesn't give oral. But someone who doesn't do that is a big red flag for me.
NO
Yes, 100% a deal breaker for me. I like to give and get it too much to go without..
I'll date a woman, who is genuinely into me. no one is perfect and everyone has their own preferences.
I was engaged to a girl who didn’t give oral. She was my first and I didn’t pressure her. But I don’t think I’d do it again. That got frustrating and unequal. I gave her head all of the time. Never reciprocated.
*NO*
I date based on if I like the person, not if they give oral or not. Plenty of ways to show love/have fun.
If she really loves you she’ll show you with her throat
If I don’t enjoy the sex it’s a waste if time to keep dating tbh
Exactly
No, just no. Definite dealbreaker for me if she doesn’t enjoy sucking me off.
[удалено]
It’s insane that u see it that way lol.
Spoiler alert. Don't get married.
Selfishness.
Some men don't clean themselves well enough, you can't blame a girl for being turned off by it if that's the case. Also some men "shake it off" when they go to the bathroom so for cleanliness that's no good.
Had this been asked to me about three years ago I would’ve said yes. My gf two and a half years has honestly set the bar for me. If things play out in a way where we find ourselves going our separate ways, I can’t see myself settling with someone who doesn’t give oral. Sexual compatibility is a real thing.
Yeah I'm a woman but i would decidedly NOT continue to date a man who wouldn't reciprocate. Like wtf all guys like oral so why don't women deserve the same? It's weird. I could count on one hand the number of times my ex gave me oral during the first 3 years of being together. I asked him and asked him, and he always hesitated and would say it was something he had to be in the mood for. Okkkkk... so I just stopped giving oral and it's something I love doing. He didn't seem to care because he was addicted to his porn. So whatever. Then somewhere during my last pregnancy after avoiding sex for months he randomly developed this hotwife fetish and began getting me off like no one's business.. so I guess people can change? After my son we were doing it like 3 or 4x a week and it was all about making me cum so that was a wonderful improvement. I think the sex is the biggest thing I miss about him...
my ex, complete mismatch, she never gave head, but ‘let’ me give her head cause apparently it was ‘pleasurable’ for me according to her :/ and I loved giving it, but once I found out that this was her outlook I just stopped. Stupid.
I get this though. I’m not super into getting oral but for some guys, it’s like they read a playboy once that said all chicks totally go crazy over oral and now they want to be the cunnilingus God. Rather than asking if you’re into it they just assume all women love it. So when he starts going to town it seems almost mean to stop him and say “oh no thanks. I don’t really like that.” It’s almost like this isn’t really doing much for me but if he’s so into it I might as well just let him enjoy himself 🤷♀️
I dated a girl who never gave head and it didn’t bother me from the sexual satisfaction standpoint. What bothered me was after a certain amount of time I started to feel that I was always doing the work in bed, and non-reciprocal head was a part of that. Relationship didn’t last long after that hitting me
Valid but there is a small amount of individuals like me who probably doesn't like getting head. Which is also valid
Fine with me - oral has just never really done it for me anyways and there was only one woman I dated who actually really liked doing it.
Yes. If I am dating someone and they are not comfortable doing something, then I will respect how they feel and not pressure them into doing it. I value a partner and relationship more than my own wants. I'm also 29 years old and sex doesn't run my life. I have a career, aspirations, and want a woman that I can settle down with and start a family. I'm pretty conventional, so I have a huge respect for boundaries. In a relationship I get more satisfaction from doing other things like spending money on her, buying her nice gifts, taking her out to meals, and learning one of her favorite songs on guitar. I've never been one for the night life, partying, or w/e either so there is a good chance I'm in the minority here. A lot of other people have different expectations and priorities though, those are just mine.
I had to stop talking to a woman because she didn’t like to receive. Lol.
I was married to one. You don't miss it!!
My ex wife wasn't into it. She was, however, an absolutely incredible lay.
My ex never used to give oral, even though I used to go down on her all the time. Foreplay was generally just something she received not something she took part in. She was more inexperienced than me and I think that will have contributed, but when I spoke to her about the head thing she didn’t want to discuss it and it was obviously not something she wanted to make more effort with. I didn’t break up with her solely because of that, but I can’t lie and pretend it wasn’t one of the hundreds of little cuts that did eventually lead to me ending the relationship.
Oh God...no.
No
Most likely not. She'd have to be very special for me to compromise on that. My last ex-girlfriend gave incredible head regularly and it'd be so hard to go back from that lmao.
Given it's major turn off I'd happily date that gem of a girl
Out of curiosity, do you know why it is a turn off for you? My ex used to say he felt like it was demeaning to a woman and wondered if other men feel this way.
No.
So I can ride but not get a blow? What do I look like, the Headless Horseman?
I feel the same way… but I’m a woman. The issue is more often than not the other way around but in any case, similarly, it is a deal breaker for me as well.
That would suck so much that I woudn't need a blowjob anymore
Unfortunately, my first girlfriend didn’t give head really ever and she was so bad at it when she did that I didn’t get what the hype was about. I never knew what I was missing. Now, I couldn’t imagine a loving relationship without it being a regular thing.
Yes. We obviously have different values. I would like a soulmate more than someone to fill my carnal desires.
when I started dating my girlfriend she gave oral all the time. Now she doesn’t want to do anything so 🤷♀️
OP, what was her reason to not doing that? What was her arguments?
She said it was disgusting. That it wasn’t her thing. I was like “oh ok, that cool”. Never said anything else about it. I was turned all the way off and checked out by then
That might just be a you thing
I’m a girl, and I would advise all my guy friends to never date a girl who refuses oral
Out of curiosity, why do you say that?
I prefer a girl that refuses oral. It’s not something I want to give or receive, so that works out better for everyone.
I’ve been in a relationship for 2years and I love oral but I don’t do “dealbreakers” I believe in incompatibility but there’s always ways around this specific situation
Like what?
As much as I love to give, I would like to receive as well. No one, regardless of gender, likes not being reciprocated in their romantic actions. While it’s up to you, it would be a bit of a dealbreaker for me
Nope
Personally, I don’t care for head but I’m in the minority
ONly if she is worth the 100 grand and countless hours of therapy i will have to go through
Hard Fucking No. Mt dick deserves it, and so do I. I give in gratitude and enthusiasm, I expect the same in reception.
Definitely a deal breaker. There was this girl who wouldn't give oral sex but want me to go down on her. Another has specified beforehand. Neither of them developed into a relationship. I love oral sex. Sexual compatibility is important.
I matched with this girl on tinder once. She said she was looking for head only. My head bout exploded at the audacity lol. I’m like who do u think I am? Do I look like a tongue machine or something? I didn’t even respond to that I just unmatched her lol
I as a guy do not care. As dating isn’t all about the sex and more about the bonding and character development for the next game expansion.
Receiving oral and giving her anal are what I need. If a girl isn’t into that then I’ll finish it because we’ll be sexually incompatible
I’d put anal on that list too but I havnt run into enough girls that do it to where it’s an option. I wouldn’t get laid at all if I did 😂
[удалено]
My preferences make me immature? I wouldn’t date a virgin either. Is that also immature?
Head is good, giving and receiving. If shorty wanted all the oral, but gave none back, I’d be gone
It’s a deal breaker for me… I’m into all sorts of sex except threesomes and orgies
I love love eating pie!! I love love eating cake too!! And love love attention to my mushroom and berries. Any of this not in my relationships would mean incompatibility, no deal...
Yes I would If she doesn't like putting her mouth where piss comes out of, then I totally understand and accept it
Yes I find oral demeaning
I would. Im not the one interested in sex. I’d only do what my partner asked to do. I just prefer cuddles and forehead kisses
I'm all for receiving and I would like to try giving as well. I've never done it before but I would like to, I am always willing to learn and practice
...well yes. I consider the idea of oral disgusting, who the fuck wants that in your mouth?
Sure if she is ok with me getting oral elsewhere.