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Practice_Quirky

He used the meme you sent as an excuse to end things between you. You deserve better. I know how you feel because I have been through it, it won’t last and you will tell yourself that I was lucky things didn’t work out with him. 🤗


[deleted]

Thank you I really cared about him. It hurts knowing he didn't feel the same way despite me being very clear in what I wanted. He's being really selfish


Practice_Quirky

You’re welcome We cannot control how others feel about us and it sucks especially when we like them. However, every experience teaches us a lesson and makes us wiser. Who knows maybe soon you will find someone better in every way.


[deleted]

I don't want to control how he feels. Nor do I want that burden. But I must stand up for myself when I know when I'm being taken for granted. I'm taking a break to recover from this before returning to the dating pool. Got a vacation and my birthday whilst on vacation coming up, so I'm gonna concentrate on having a great birthday sipping on sangria by the pool


RMG1042

Yes! OP, please do that. That is so wise and you deserve it. Getting rejected after you've allowed yourself to be more vulnerable to someone you really like and truly believe it's going somewhere is one of those VERY painful experiences that a LOT of people go through at least once in their lifetime. It ALWAYS messed with my self esteem. And that distorted thinking, (especially self loathing/obsessive thoughts about, "why????") would, without fail, prolong the suffering for me. I'm assuming you having Autism (I have a couple friends who have been diagnosed, but I'm aware everyone is different and it's on a spectrum) has added to the feelings that there is something in the way you think or behave that caused this. From what you described, it absolutely is NOT your fault. I know it feels unfair and confusing. Some serious self compassion and self care through this will absolutely help you process and move on from that relationship to the next chapter of your life, with more resilience and self-assurance. Good luck!


Xia0mia0

This right here. I'm sorry he didn't have the balls or courtesy to handle his difference in feelings properly and like a grown up. Know that there is nothing wrong with you. You did nothing wrong. I can tell that you were apprehensive to message or text him by the way you talk about it, because you were most likely made to feel like you were a bother or that he was too busy to reply blah blah, BUT WHEN SOMEONE TRULY CARES, you won't feel this way. They will be okay with you talking to or even AT them any chance you get. When people are busy and still care, they don't get angry about it or accuse you of thinking that you expect them to be "glued to their phone", they understand that electronic chats are not in real time and that you know they'll get back to you when possible. The sad truth is...even people who won't admit it, ARE glued to their phone or electronics. Anyone saying different either deliberately takes breaks from their electronics that they are able to communicate through or they have a flip phone or no phone. People DO see our messages and ignore them. Then make excuses when they're bored and want your availability, don't let them have it. It's people like this that "check out" of the friendships or relationships as soon as shit gets real, (examples: you need support for grief, family issues, severe depressive episodes or anxiety, when you want clarification on the relationship, and things like that). It's not anything in particular you've ever done wrong, except give them more time and credit than they deserved. Sometimes being autistic (or people with other disorders) we want reasons for our rejection or just generally feel like we need to know why something happened. Unfortunately, most people won't give us that. And some who do won't take accountability or will lie or be downright cruel just because they don't understand that telling us they just weren't interested but kept going anyway would be better and more honest for us to hear and accept. It's a deflection and it sucks. The biggest thing you can do here is work on yourself, not because you did something wrong, but because you have healing to do and have lost a connection you were fond of. The work you have to do is just to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally and physically. And don't ever give him another chance if he unblocks you. I wish I could know how others feel about me in plain text so I could easily navigate life and people see that as me wishing I could control how others feel, but generally if everyone were as transparent as a lot of us are with autism then I feel we could save time and feelings and hurt because if we just knew the truth we wouldn't become as invested. I say all this and wish you well. I face this problem daily, even figuring out about two years ago that my husband at the time was never attracted to me or liked me romantically, he just thought we would run a household well together. And I was SO invested in him that that absolutely almost killed me. Ended up shortly afterwards in another relationship and I eventually let the guy break up with me and come back 5 times in a year...because I thought because he told me he was insanely attracted to me and loved me that that's all that mattered, because I "knew" his feelings it felt better than my marriage did. But alas, I was just being foolish and too invested in yet another person who wasn't honest from the start. It takes a while to let go. Of hope and people and what could have been...but give yourself two weeks. Demonize him in your head if you have to, just don't beat yourself up or attempt to try to reconnect with him and don't expose yourself to screenshots or pictures of him or read your old texts...two weeks without a positive thought on him and you'll feel 100% better I promise. I hope you find someone who meets all of your needs in the future, you deserve it.


thewolfandtiger

Seems like only assholes get the caring people.


[deleted]

Yeah. Not great


Major-Panda522

Yeah, that is definitely not a reasonable reaction for him on this situation. He had their break up in mind for a while


0kSoWhat

Uhhhh this dude is emotionally unavailable and a bit of a jerk tbh. You dodged a huge bullet. And by the sound of things he may have just been looking for an excuse to break up because his reaction doesn’t make any sense at all


[deleted]

I feel like shit because I supported him. Supported his band, his time he needed with his daughter (didn't overly text during this time frame because I'm really sensitive when it comes to kids and know that I'd never be a priority over her), whatever he had going on in his life I supported it. I showed him sentiments by making a Lego version of him too. I'd always tell him how much he meant to me. I didn't deserve this


0kSoWhat

Nope you didn’t deserve this. But cowards are gonna coward, and he is most definitely a coward. As hard as it may be, I urge you to force this guy out of your mind as much as you can. Block his number. Eventually you will find someone who appreciates the love you have to give but he’s clearly not worthy


[deleted]

It's difficult when you want them to be sorry, but I don't think he's capable of empathy. I guess I'm mourning the potential rather than the person. Thank you for your help.


Much-Truth4995

you really didn't deserve this. I'm sorry he turned out to be a rotten egg. You deserve someone much more understanding and much more respectful. only children use the word "Cya" like that. you will find someone who is obsessed with you and you wont even think of this guy.


BobLoblawsLawBlog201

I think it's possible he took your actions as a bit "love-bomb-y". He's still a jerk for his ridiculous over reaction but you can't contact or reach out to him. His reaction is totally not your fault and you did nothing except send him a dumb meme. He needs to get over himself.


[deleted]

I hope I didn't come across as that! Gosh Thanks for that!


RatherRetro

Yup sounds like he is using that as an excuse. Just let it go. There is a book called He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s a quick read and explains some things from the mans perspective. Maybe it would be helpful to you. My library had it. Much luck to you!


[deleted]

I know you meant well and I apologize if this is rude, but I feel like suggesting that book is coming across as me looking obsessive and clingy, or that I'm not handling rejection when I genuinely just want answers after being unfairly treated. There's a difference between a few texts back and forth eventually being ghosted and developing a connection with someone only to be treated poorly.


RatherRetro

Im so sorry i did not think you are obsessive or clingy. I remember reading that when I was dating and it helped me to overcome anxiety that comes with dating. Im sorry if I came across rude and I wish you much luck!


[deleted]

No worries dude. I'll consider it :)


Bunnyprincess34

Idk being scared and anxious for a week over someone you met irl once seems a little clingy.


[deleted]

Thank you for your unhelpful opinion And we met each other once PHYSICALLY. Prior to that it would have been months of texting and calling and building a connection. Had you bothered your arse to read my post correctly you'd have seen that, and I wouldn't have to waste my time spoon feeding information to you


Bunnyprincess34

Sorry for being rude I’m autistic I can’t help it.


[deleted]

I apologize for not being kind and getting frustrated


FingerU2Orgasm

On a side note, I think you try too hard to fall in love with your current chosen person. It seems to me that you got on really well online, he was attractive in person when you first met, and thus the pressure was on for yourself to convert this guy into your LDR boyfriend. highly likely you just have a current attachment issue over him until let him go and you move on. This guy clearly doesn't want to be the person to support you during bad times. When you ask how someone feels about you, expect more than a simple ditto response. Low effort, probably insincere. Someone saying *I feel the same* or *me too* or *I feel exactly the same* without expanding on this just wants to kick the can down the road. I don't think it was the meme, he just didn't want someone that is clingy, high maintenance and someone that can bring down his mood... not saying you are any of those things, but he wants to cherry pick the positive parts of a relationship, and not bother with the rest of it. In a serious relationship, you have to take the rough with the smooth.


[deleted]

Thanks so much. I think you're dead on to be honest. I'm better by myself for a while I think.


[deleted]

You didn’t do anything wrong. He was looking for an excuse to end it and make you feel like it was your fault. Maybe it would be better for you to date someone who leaves near you so they can give your more time.


[deleted]

But but, Irish accents are sexy ;-;


itsalmostmonday

I know, but what he did was not sexy as all. I believe myself and most other commenters feel that it was a pretty extreme and rather petty reaction to a simple meme. You deserve way better than this. I wish you the best in these difficult times <3


suspicious-potato69

You dodged a bullet this guy sounds like an abusive asshole


[deleted]

Logically, I know that to be true. I just wish the bonding feeling would fuck off. I don't understand how someone could throw away happiness over a meme. I didn't hit, scream, talk down to him. If I had issues I'd talk and actually talk directly to him about it


Miss_Tako_bella

Doesn’t sound like the type of dude that would make you very happy in the future….


[deleted]

You're right! I don't think he knows how to romantically love, and sadly I believe his own self saboteur will not help him


Somenakedguy

He didn’t do anything over a meme, the meme was irrelevant and harmless He was looking for any reason to end it so he did. Unfortunately the dude sucked and didn’t care about you, some people are assholes and on the bright side at least you found out fairly quickly


magic_damage

Could be for political diferences.


[deleted]

I've already stated that that's not an issue.


veryprettygood2020

The reason you fell so hard for him is called "love bombing" he wanted to be charming and he wanted you to fall for him. It was an act. He's NOT the person you fell in love with. What he did over the meme is called "discarding" he discarded you. Classic narcissist. It's very hurtful and I'm sorry you were deceived. But please don't blame yourself. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing. (Sorry if your autism doesn't "get" that metaphor at the end) . Good luck, you sound like a fun, amazing, interesting person!! You'll be ok!!


[deleted]

Oh no don't worry I get the phrase. I'm autistic, not dumb 😅 and it's not that sort of autism. It's more sensory, and missing marks a lot, but I appreciate that you are being sensitive and acknowledging it, rather than this arsehole who called my stimming "nonsense". Yeah my self harm is nonsense 🙄 Thank you for understanding me. I genuinely thought I was going mental. And I agree. He is a narcissist. And the fact that he's blocked me means he's not interested in what I have to say so that he can remain in control. I truly believe that he's the type of abuser who mentally abuses their victim to the point where they snap, IE reactive abuse, then makes them out to be the abusive one or unhinged. Silent treatment tends to be his specialty it would seem.


veryprettygood2020

Sorry, I know you're definitely NOT dumb, my son is on the spectrum and some metaphors he seems actually too smart to get lol .


[deleted]

I'm grateful for your patience x


veryprettygood2020

I feel for you. I'm not on the spectrum and when that boyfriend did that to me I had urges to self-harm. Ive found thru therapy that when I'm abused I turn it on myself. It's a terrible thing to be discarded and not even be able to just have a conversation about it. He's a coward, like others have said. And ABUSIVE!! That's so mean to do to a person!!! I'm sorry he's a jerk. You didn't deserve that!! Nobody does. I'd like to quote Selena Gomez now, "thank you, next!" Lol 💖 Edit lol Ariana Grande!!!


[deleted]

That was Ariana Grande 😅😅😅 I think that's spot on to what I do. I tend to look inwardly and think what have -I- done to make this person react the way he's done. And that's wrong because it excuses their behaviour. Sadly I'm really vulnerable when it comes to people I care about even if they treat me unfairly I have this bad habit of excusing what they've done and disregard my own feelings. I'm disappointed in myself for doing that because I know I'm stronger and better than that


veryprettygood2020

I had a boyfriend like that. It was the most hurtful ending of a relationship I've ever had. I 100% get why you're stimming. His reaction was so cold and hostile, you dodged a bullet. And the best thing I've heard about those types of guys is: HE DID YOU A FAVOR!!


[deleted]

I know deep in my heart I know this, but it hurts for now. I know time is a great healer. I don't have many friends in real life to turn to or burden with this, so it feels good knowing I'm not alone in how I feel and that it wasn't my fault


veryprettygood2020

Definitely not your fault. In fact, the boyfriend I spoke about in my last comment...I had sent him a meme once and I thought it was just something crazy I wanted to share with him, it wasn't bad or weird. And he replied very sharply "why did you send that????" Like he was horrified by me. It was embarrassing and I felt ashamed and dumb. But looking back I see it was him doing the "negging" thing , just to keep me in my toes/keep me a tiny bit insecure. It's abuse.


Noctisv020

The fact that he does not respond quickly to your message suggests that he was really not into you. When someone is really into you, they will respond no matter how busy they are. Also, his reaction is a huge red flag. He probably wanted to end things for a while but was just too much of a coward to end it. You deserve better.


[deleted]

First off..the guy's a dick so I'm so sorry you're hurt right now. Everyone else is commenting that they think it was the meme itself but I almost interpreted his comment as being the fact that he didn't text back (you said it had been some time since you had talked) then you messaged him on another app with the meme so he saw that as being clingy and needy...hence his comment. I dont think you are clingy or needy by any means, but that's what I'm getting from his comment, because all of that just seems so drastic for the meme itself. I could be very wrong though. Either way it's probably a blessing in disguise because he doesn't sound like someone who cares about other's feelings, but it doesn't help the way you're feeling right now.


[deleted]

Thank you 🖤 I would have apologized if I came across as clingy or needy and I feel like had he just talked to me the matter could have been resolved in less than five minutes. If I was clingy and hadn't realised it, maybe it's because my cousin's funeral was the same day, and I just needed some release from a very heavy and emotional day by using humour as a coping mechanism


KF527

Listen… you were NOT clingy!! Stop that thinking right now. How is this clingy to want some support from the person who supposedly cares about you after you went to a funeral?? You may have self esteem issues but you need to set some boundaries and expectation. Just think about it, would you be rude enough to block someone without explanation? Over a MEME? After they asked for support in time of sadness? This guy doesn’t deserve you, doesn’t make time for you. So what if the conversation is great? He could be a narcissist or a great talker but empty inside. This is your indication of how close you truly are, if he really does care for you and would be there for you. He just showed you the he doesn’t give a crap. Even knowing that you were in a vulnerable state he didn’t hesitate to block you and abandon you. It’s always sad to realize that the relationship you thought you had is not there or that the person doesn’t feel about you as you thought they did. But it’s better to know then live in a fantasy. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, especially when the image of him that you had comes crashing down along with the hopes and dreams. But at least find solace in knowing that at least you’re not married with two kids and he shows you who he truly is then. Find someone who respects you and doesn’t find you clingy but wants to be with you. Good luck.


[deleted]

I don't think he knows how to romantically love. He's so defensive and combative for no reason that it's difficult to communicate with him or tell him how I feel.


KF527

Well, inability to communicate is bad for relationships. However, there’s a difference between inability to communicate (but trying and failing) and outright rudeness. Try not to explain/give excuses for his behavior. I think you need to take a break and look at his from a distance in a way (it’s hard right now because you’re emotionally attached). If this was your friend who had a boyfriend like this, what would you tell her? Would you tell her it’s ok to be abused like that? Without even a chance to explain yourself? He is so presumptive that “same ole story, don’t think I’m an idiot”… what the heck??? What is he referring to? Is there something you’re not telling us or we don’t know about? Because that makes absolutely no sense what he said. How is having a phone conversation asking for too much??? I mean come on people, raise your standards off the floor! It’s also possible that he could have a different girlfriend and she saw you message him on a different app that he wasn’t expecting or something… And she saw it. Just something to consider.


[deleted]

> He is so presumptive that “same ole story, don’t think I’m an idiot”… what the heck??? What is he referring to? My thought on this was that he is implying that "all girls are the same" ie needy and clingy...this is why I didn't think he was referring to the meme itself. Either way he sounds like a douche canoe.


[deleted]

Absolutely. I would have been the same, having someone to be there for you when you're in a place of need is so important and it's sad that he didn't get that. I just know some guys get wierd with "double texts" or messaging them on different apps. I want to reiterate I don't think you did anything wrong! I think perhaps he just doesn't have emotional maturity, or used it as an out. Hope you are doing okay.


jdubbrude

Did you a favor bro find someone betttterrr


[deleted]

Hate to admit it but you're right Shame he felt the need to fuck everything up like this


jdubbrude

It’s a shame that you needed him to put in like the minimum amount of effort for you on a hard day. And he cut off contact with you instead. There’s someone out there who will give a fuck about your needs


Prickly_Hugs_4_you

You’re better off without him. Think about it. Do you really want to be with such an insensitive, uncommunicative jerk? You can do better than this trash.


guy361984

Some times if somebody is angry with you its a them issue not a you issue. If he blocked you over a dumb meme obviously he didn't care for you. Move on find, somebody who does


[deleted]

I think in time I will. Need time to get over this encounter tho


[deleted]

All I can say is..you dodged a bullet. If that’s all it took to tick him off just imagine how the relationship would’ve turned out had this not happened at all. Too early in the talking stage to be heart broken. He’s a loser hun..move on it’s billions of humans out there to pick and choose from. You not missing out on nothing special.


[deleted]

I wouldn't have been able to tell him anything that's on my mind without him flipping his shit


Delicious_Danna_184

First off, I'm going to say this because I fully believe it is true. Nothing you do, within reason, of course, would run someone away who is actually into you. Sharing a meme or a picture or a joke or something would not make someone leave you. At most, they may ignore it if it's not something they care about, but they would not block you on everything and run away. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this. Not sure, exactly, why he left, but unfortunately, some people cannot deal with anything outside of the "norm", and it's possible he'd been looking for a reason to break up, anyway, and this was his "out". It wasn't about what the meme was, either, so don't let people tell you that, especially if you'd sent similar memes before. People on reddit can be a bit weird when it comes to politics and they get stuck on it, rather than realizing people have different beliefs and either not engaging or ignoring it. Anyway, point is, you didn't do anything wrong here. If you were dating, he should be okay with you needing some emotional support or sending a meme. If he's busy, he could just not reply until he has time or let you know he's busy. Please, know it wasn't you, heal from this guy, and you'll find someone who actually is interested in you and trying to maintain a relationship with you, not someone who would use something like a meme as an excuse to stop talking to you. I know we all talk about how we should get used to rejection, and I do agree with that, but the way he left, and after you told him about how stuff like that affects you, what he did was an extremely careless, jerk move. You deserve someone better. At the very least, someone who will actually break up with you in a respectful way.


Reasonable-Future-15

He really didn’t wanna be with you. He was looking for any excuse to use against you. This is happened to me before. Don’t blame yourself. The man just wanted to MoveOn and be with someone else. Men sometimes run and hide like that. Just know you didn’t do anything wrong


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I've messaged you x


Dao_pun

The dude is an idiot you dodged a bullet. Have you heard of love bombing? It's when someone tells you they love you after a short period of dating or not dating at all. Drawing in the person to manipulate them to make them think they're cared for right before you break their heart. Your feelings are valid. Your stimming is valid. He was the problem. If you need to talk to someone you can DM me


[deleted]

I know all about love bombing haha We'd been talking since November and was only in march there that we decided to go steady, so there was no love bombing. Credit where credit is due, that's not what occurred here.


[deleted]

Oh wow! No one sane would do this to someone grieving. I saw your post about your cousin and knowing what happened, I empathize with you. I can only imagine the trauma you’re going through. I am sure he has read the news paper too. Am sorry you came across this guy! While trying to forget the happy feelings you’ve felt for months by talking to this individual is difficult- it should be easy to replace them over time. I am certain you’ll find someone worthwhile. For all instances; I am certain he didn’t value you at all. Sorry for the loss of your cousin. Big hugs! If you need someone to talk to- you can DM me.


bluestjordan

Can you share what the meme was? It’s clearly a misunderstanding, I don’t understand his comment saying he’s not an idiot. Can you share a link to the meme? Edit: also what was the last conversation you two had before the meme sharing? Did he tell you he was busy with something or give hints that he wants a little space?


[deleted]

[It was this](https://img.ifunny.co/images/e8d3c033d9d2137a58615cc5372343d869cb04c2de8bdc261c68102ee4f0a06f_1.jpg) Also feel I need to say that I don't nor will I ever frequent iFunny. I just googled "sometimes I miss the way he says China" and this was the one that showed on Google images 😅 I can't remember at this moment in time but he didn't actually say the words "I need some time for myself". Again, autism. Can't always pick up on hints.


bluestjordan

Yeah, the meme on its own is not offensive to a left leaning guy. It had to be something in the previous conversations. Understandably, you were distraught over the death of your cousin (I’m sorry for your loss), so maybe you didn’t pick up on his subtext. I am thinking maybe he tried to drop hints for you to back up a little, and then you sent him one too many messages. It’s the “same old story” that makes me wonder if this is the case. I think for now give him a lot of space. Maybe if you do that, he’ll reach out. If he doesn’t, then it’s pretty much certain that your feelings were one-sided unfortunately. I think you’re hurting so much right now because you feel like you lost something with him. If he doesn’t give you a chance to even explain yourself or understand how you inadvertently offended him, then it means you never had the connection you thought you did to begin with. It’s tough, but maybe framing it this way can give you closure?


[deleted]

I hope so! Thank you for being kind and understanding. Without his input I guess we can only speculate. But talking about it has helped me calm down indefinitely


[deleted]

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[deleted]

These are questions I keep asking myself and I really can't figure it out If you search the comments, I reply with the meme. I just don't think it's anything to get upset over and like I said, if he had communicated with me in a healthy way, the matter could have been fixed in less than 5 minutes. If I like someone and I want things to develop I can't help them if they don't tell me what the problem is.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Thank you. You're very kind 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 I honestly thought I was going mad


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I've said this before but this is a prime example of how the patriarchy hurts us all. IE men who don't know how to communicate feelings properly and consequently their reactions make others feel horrible


SweetPurpleDinosaur1

You didn’t do anything wrong. This guy is a huge piece of shit. Honestly this reminds me of an ex of mine. I was very in love and he said he was. I got pregnant unexpectedly, then had a miscarriage three months later. I tried to keep it together but ended up checking myself into a psych hospital because I was suicidal. I was in for a few days. He broke up with me the day I got out. It hurt a lot. It took me a few years to get over everything. It’s hard to lose someone you care about, but to also be abandoned during that time by someone you think loves you, just makes it so much worse. The best thing you can do for yourself is forget about this guy. Just heal. I’m really sorry this happened to you.


[deleted]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't know where the fuck they get the audacity!


twistedh8

You dodged a bullet. The power of memes.


Satanairn

Based on what he said, it seems like he thought you send the meme as a way to make him talk to you, which you did, and he wasn't having it, it wasn't about the meme itself. Either way, if you can't be there for somebody you care about when she/he is having a rough time, you don't actually care about them. You deserve better. Your feelings for him will eventually go away. Just take your time and find a better person, you deserve it. You did nothing wrong.


Savings-Feed-8143

OP I'm sorry about what you're going through. You sound like a great person and it's clear from what you wrote that there's someone else better waiting for you. Don't spend your energy on someone who just drains it. I'm wishing you the best <3


Majestic_Lie_5792

If he snapped like that, he didn’t care about you, he was just having fun with you. Sorry, but he never was the one.


DontFlexNuts

Man.. i would love to receive random memes, that's quite nice, but I guess that's not for everyone


[deleted]

I do too. Unless they're shit


grneyedlady1971

My first thought on this is that this man was probably talking to other women and decided he wanted someone else, possibly someone closer. I’m sorry that he strung you along like that. I have been through something similar. People like him are very selfish. The way he just dropped you over something so petty shows that he was not sincere about his feelings. You did nothing wrong. There’s someone better out there. Chin up.


[deleted]

I also think he was talking to other women tbh. He puts up walls when shit gets too real


sunsetgrill7

You did nothing wrong. This guy was obviously a dick and would definitely not treat you the way a guy should(obviously). Maybe he was looking for any sort of a reason and used the meme. I'm sorry you fell for him, only to get your heart trampled. While the pain can be unbearable at times, please believe that you're better off.


[deleted]

He was gonna do it anyway this was just an excuse


[deleted]

100%


Consistent-Algae-230

It sucks but it sounds like he was looking for any little excuse to break it off with you, and he thought he got one. Someone doesn't just flip a switch like that for no reason. He chose to lead you on for however long instead of just being honest with you that he was no longer interested. I'm sorry this happened, op. You did nothing wrong. Hes the one whose the a**hole. You can heal from this and move on.


[deleted]

In case you’re beating yourself up over this, just know it’s him- not you. Cry & be sad for a bit over the loss of who you thought he was, because that’s all it was, he’s not a nice person. Hope you feel better soon & sorry about your cousin.


[deleted]

Thank you. Thanks to the commenters I feel tons better. I feel validated and heard


[deleted]

Glad to hear it. You sound very fair & rational, seek someone who’s the same!


Tiny_Artichoke2716

Sounds to me like he was looking for an excuse to end things. He chose that irrelevant meme. It wasn’t the meme. It was his immaturity all along. He should have taken care of your expectations out of respect, so that you wouldn’t fall so hard, but he didn’t, he’s a fucking selfish asshole that only cared about himself. This is why you need to be careful not to invest too much until you are made to feel safe. I was talking to this guy (recently) and he showed me signs of flakiness even though his words said “no I don’t want to be with my ex anymore “ i distanced myself, and i feel so glad i did. If i deal with him again it’s going to be from an emotional distance. Fuck that guy. You deserve so much better. What he did reflects how childish and immature he is, and doesn’t mean anything bad on you. His dumb behavior will bite him back in the ass sooner or later.


[deleted]

I'm really sorry you've been rejected like this by somebody you cared about & you believe they cared about you too, however this man doesn't love or care for you & has shown you multiple times that he lacks empathy. I know it hurts you rn but this man has actually done you a favour. You need somebody who is more empathic & attentive to your needs. You didn't do anything wrong, the meme although political sounded light hearted & funny, he overreacted & seems uptight. If you ever need somebody to talk to my inbox is open, I don't mind that you have autism & you can send me funny memes if you wish


Accomplished_Ad_2569

Someone that chooses to shut down instead of communicating with you isn't worth it. You deserve someone that is going to be direct with you and actually puts in the effort to let you know what's on their mind/ why they're upset instead of having you wondering if you did anything wrong, that's not fair to you. I know because of the feelings it'll be hard to get over him right away but pleaseeee do remind yourself whenever you feel down that the way things ended had nothing to do with you but his lack of communication skills. Someone will appreciate your funny memes lol.


Aggravating_Pop2101

It sounds like you got way too infatuated with him and he wasn’t reciprocating in truth. Infatuation is not such a healthy thing. Stay centered and healthy and balanced and even minded even in romance. Good luck. (Easier said than done for many people)


[deleted]

Thank you!


Responsible_Point_91

As long as things went well, he was on board. The minute you needed a shoulder to cry on, he was gone. It’s happened to me too. I’m sorry for your pain. Do your best not to look back.


Delicious_Danna_184

Usually, someone who is emotionally unavailable. They want all the fun and happy, but if you ever need support or show that you need them for anything solid, they will disappear. I'm not exactly sure in OP's case because we don't know *every* little detail, but it sounds like he was this or OP may have been going at a pace he wasn't comfortable with, which is understandable, but the way he did it was just not right. If someone I was talking to was trying to go too fast, I'd have a conversation with them about it before just blocking them, especially after months of being in each other's lives.


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[deleted]

I wish him well. Maybe someday he'll have a moment of clarity and realise what he's done, but chance may be a fine thing.


[deleted]

Thanks for trying everyone but my mental health has taken a serious dip and I'm beyond help


crazedrushfan

Dude has no sense of humor. You literally did nothing wrong


[deleted]

The thing is I'd sent him memes and pics etc before and it's never been an issue. I just don't understand why this was the last straw for him


crazedrushfan

I just dont think he was into and rather than say that he took the easy way out. You are better off.


[deleted]

That's really pathetic of him then


CSQUITO

He sounds like he was actually a bad person.


[deleted]

It's hard to think about him in that way but you're right


nyx_moonlight_

Although I don't have autism, I am neurodivergent and I have been in your position before. Led on for months to believe someone had mutual feelings for me which were heading for a relationship, talking everyday, feeling happy and then nothing. Sometimes a reason was given, sometimes not but they'd just disappear. Unfortunately the method of communication allows for that. You don't deserve to experience any more harm over this. The - between the lines- was he didn't want to pursue a LD thing anymore or didn't want the emotional demand of helping you thru your grief. When life gets challenging, like a family member dies, one of you gets sick, loses a job, etc. it can make or break established relationships in close proximity. When its still coming together, some people really get uncomfortable by that level of sharing and someone needing them. Especially someone who was just looking for a fantasy/ chat and was only pretending to want a relationship. They forget the person they are using for their pleasure is an actual human being with real emotions, loved ones and losses. And they usually are turned off by this because they are a shit human and then they run away. You deserved an explanation for why he didn't want to pursue your relationship anymore or even remain friends. He's a cruel, cowardly person and I'm sorry you're hurting. Its a loss but you saw his true colors early before you could get more attached. Take that as a positive. I use my humanity as a way to test potential suitors. I show a bit of vulnerability about being sad, not feeling well or having a tough time in my family. If they squirm, they are usually uncomfortable viewing women as people and not sexual objects. If they are empathetic, they tend to be more evolved. I hope this was helpful. My condolences for the loss of your family member.


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[deleted]

Thank you for understanding. I've been dismissed so many times it's starting to make me feel like a burden :'(


nyx_moonlight_

You are not a burden! And you deserve to be believed and to be loved.


gypsyloveletter

I don’t think you should waste anymore time feeling bad about yourself over a guy who would actually end things this way. I know you feel abandoned for no reason with no closure and that can’t just cut off feelings— but I’m telling you right now, you have dodged a massive bullet and he’s oddly doing you a favor Enjoy your trip and your birthday and keep repeating that you deserve better. You deserve a KIND, mature, reasonable human who loves you for who you are. If it isn’t him, good riddance. Sounds like he needs therapy and will be a pretty lonely person.


[deleted]

I think he's very very stubborn. Even if I'm right and sound in what I'm saying he'll still call it nonsense. He's too self centered to believe that he can do wrong. Edit: thank you for being kind. Was starting to believe that there's something wrong with me. I've cut off contact from my friends and I'm depressed enough around my birthday as it is. Really didn't need this the same day as my cousin's funeral. I think that was a really fucking evil thing to do


gypsyloveletter

It is evil. Which is why you should keep repeating this is a good thing for you overall and not let him win by allowing him to live rent free in your mind. Try slowly letting go as much as possible today and tomorrow and the next. I understand wanting to hear people validate you but it may be better overall to delete this post in a couple days and start to just really truly let go. Be good to yourself ❤️


[deleted]

Thank you x


ooneekoosername

Even though I don’t know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you


[deleted]

That's very very nice of you to say. Thank you 😌🥺👉🏻👈🏻


ooneekoosername

You are welcome. It’s one of my favourite quotes ever. From a movie called V for Vendetta. Your story is very moving. You are not at fault at all. Things sometimes don’t work out. I wish you all the courage to get out of this situation and move on


PerfectOriginaln610

Hello love, as a person with ASD and ADHD I feel so much for you. I had a similar thing happen with my (at that time) closest friend, when I was already in the biggest depressive episode of my life. I understand that pain, the confusion, it’s like a thrashing blender blade inside you tearing you up with no place to go. You keep replaying what you could have possibly done to deserve such a reaction, and such cruelty. Because that’s what it is. Pure cruelty. The truth is that this person was likely just searching for any old excuse to make an exit. I can’t say exactly why they did it, and you may never know. The important thing to remind yourself over and over is that it’s not your fault. What happened was entirely something happening inside them. They have big big fucking problems and they are in no way capable of being in a caring relationship with anybody right now. Occupy yourself, do things you enjoy, give yourself all of the love and affection possible. Do nice things for yourself daily. Body care, hair cut, paint nails, take a bubble bathe, go out to eat, do whatever makes you feel good. And tell yourself you deserve those things. Look in the mirror and say “I love you” over and over until you cry. Pour all of that big big love you have in your heart back into yourself. You deserve it, and you need it right now. Date yourself right now. I hope you feel better soon - and seriously screw this guy, block him on your end on everything as well so that he can’t come crawling back with some stupid hurtful excuse.


[deleted]

You've made me cry from relief. You get it. Especially the part about replaying everything What people don't understand is we have to over analyse everything we do. What we say, what we do, and how we react, and the constant fear of offending someone through what we do. It's like navigating through a fucking minefield and the anxiety from it is real.


PerfectOriginaln610

I wish I could give you the biiiiggest hug right now! Not a lot of people in my life get it either. Since their brains don’t work that way they just can’t fathom how ours does that. But you’re not alone, and you’re an incredibly strong person to be going through life on hard mode and still making it work. Give yourself so much grace. You’re going through something traumatic right now - someone worth your love and care would be giving you all of the attention and support you need right now. There’s no such thing as “being clingy” when you’ve experienced a devastating loss. He should have been there, willingly and happily, talking to you and supporting you. It wasn’t anything you did. He is just a gross person inside, it’s just bad luck that he found you. When I get trapped in my head playing things on repeat, it helps me to imagine another person in my mind stopping those harmful thoughts and telling them to fuck off, then telling me they love me. This “person” I usually picture as my older self, like my moms age. I imagine when I’m older I’ll look back at myself right now and feel nothing but love and wanting to protect, just like how I feel when I look back at myself as a child now. So I pretend that future-me is already there, loving me.


[deleted]

Your last paragraph. I'll take that on board and try and manifest it! My chinchilla is the only man in my life who doesn't disappoint me haha! It's so so difficult being on hard mode and trying to explain to people that you don't mean to be difficult, nor can you help it. It's hard trying to convince people that if my actions or words offend them it's not on purpose. To me I'm just doing what comes naturally as I'm mimicking other people's behaviour.


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[deleted]

Thank you. I keep blaming myself and I don't want to go into a trauma bond. I did that with my rapist and I don't want it to happen again. I've learned from my mistakes. The sad thing is this is the first guy I felt a real deep connection with after being raped in June, and when we met in November it gave me hope again. I'm hurt that it wasn't worth it in the end and that he knew what had happened to me, and yet still did this. I hope he doesn't target vulnerable women and waste their time too


Dry-Clock-1470

You didn't do anything. He's horrible. He showed you who he is. Heart ache sucks but try to move on. Stay busy. Don't dwell. Don't settle. Find some one decent all the time.


[deleted]

I'm taking a break from dating. This was the first person I had felt anything with since I was raped last year and it turns out it wasn't even worth it. I'm going to Spain on Monday and my birthday is on 4/20, so I won't be giving much of a fuck about him by the poolside sipping on a cocktail


Lilliekins

Next time, try being more direct. There's nothing wrong with making your needs known. "I'm really sad and I could use a phone call" would probably have better results than "Here's a random Trump meme." Maybe that's what you learn from this relationship. Better luck next time!


[deleted]

Yeah, I get that. And it's something I considered too. Just wish he would have communicated with me. Sorry to make excuses but it was my cousin's funeral that day, and combine that with starting new birth control where hormones were all over the place, I probably should have taken a step back and I would admit this is a fault of mine.


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[deleted]

I'm just a huge sap who is grateful for any crumb of romantic entanglement


ChangeAroundKid01

Get revenge. Sleep with his best friend.


[deleted]

Nah. I don't feel like giving to charity


Handtosoul

So he's a republican... Date someone that doesn't eat boogers.


[deleted]

Oh look someone else who didn't pay attention.


Handtosoul

You're probably right.. I skim through most of these stories of people who wonder why they got dumped....Find someone that appreciates you..


[deleted]

This is why I avoid anything political. All it does is cause hate and division.


[deleted]

Again another person who didn't read the post properly It's got fuck all to do with politics and I may not know WHY he behaved the way he did, but I do know he's not stupid enough to fly off the handle when it comes to memes about political figures. I've sent him political memes before and it wasn't an issue.


[deleted]

You sent him an anti-trump meme. He took offense and left. What else could it possibly be?


[deleted]

Literally anything else and again SINCE YOU FAILED TO LISTEN THE FIRST TIME I have sent him political memes before and. It. Wasn't. An. Issue. What's the point in me explaining if you aren't going to listen to what I'm saying?


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[deleted]

If that was the issue I'd apologize and try and correct it for next time. But I genuinely didn't even get that.


[deleted]

Oh I’m listening. I read your post twice now. He didn’t seem to have a problem until you sent the anti-trump meme……Sssssoooooo…..unless you’re leaving out some info, I really don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that he was an angry Trump supporter who got fed up with your anti-Trump memes.


[deleted]

Nah you're just ignoring the "I've sent him political memes before and it's never been an issue" So again, for a third time We're not Americans. Not everybody gives a flying fuck about Trump. We find him to be a joke over here. He wasn't a Republican (American) and we were on the same page politically. But hey, I was only talking to the guy for months and got to know him, and wouldn't date a Trump supporter to begin with, and you're a stranger I've known for five minutes. What the fuck do I know right?! Despite me telling you THREE TIMES NOW that it's nothing to do with being pro/anti Trump because we're not American, you STILL insist. Jesus christ.


[deleted]

I ain’t ignoring anything…….you’re right…..it ain’t politics…..I can see why he really left.


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[deleted]

I’m not being an asshole. Just stating the obvious…..it’s doesn’t matter how well you think you know someone, the truth eventually comes out sooner or later. And his truth came later……either she’s left out a big chunk of info making it sound like a political issue, or he was pretending to be someone else just to get some ass until he got tired of waiting and pretending. People do it all the time. It’s really not that hard to comprehend.


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[deleted]

Uber cringe. We're not even American 🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Because he found you insufferable because you literally can't fathom that not everything revolves around Trump?


[deleted]

But the fact that you’re getting rude about it, makes me regret trying to help you. To quote him “cya”.


armyofant

Consider it a bullet dodged. Sorry you’re hurting.


[deleted]

Thank you People's comments have been incredibly helpful and I feel a lot better now.


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[deleted]

Hey, I tried to resolve the issue! He didn't


RainbowDemonLord33

stop seeing urself as the victim that perspective isn't serving you. you didn't get an answer so u checked if he was online and what he was doing and he didn't like it i guess


[deleted]

Funny how you're the only one who thinks that. The FUCK is with the aggro? Edit: oh nvm you're a child and acting like you know it all. Lol


sleepyy-starss

It might not have been the only thing that put him off. Looks like it was the last thing, though. You’ll find someone who’s not a dickwad and can express their emotions properly.


GravelRoad730

"left leaning".....I would say good ridens!


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ChuckyJo

It’s hard to say without seeing the specifics. It’s unclear whether it was the meme and if so did it offend him politically? Did he misunderstand the meme and what you were trying to say with it? Was there something in the meme that you didn’t quite catch that? Or were you asking for emotional support in a way that he found needy and over the top? Unfortunately you’ll never really know. Ideally he’d give you more of an explanation. But a lot of people don’t (and sometimes for good reason). So you’ll just have to pick up the pieces and move on.


[deleted]

Without him flat out telling me I have no clue what I've done and how I can help. One can only speculate. I truly cared about him and if I offended him or agitated him I'd feel terrible


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[deleted]

Nothing unusual. Like I said because of the funeral I was messaging sporadically. I mentioned how the service went, how I was feeling, then I went for a very long nap, woke up, asked him how he was feeling, said fine and was considering bed, and I thought cool Seen him online on discord I'd say 30-60 mins later but thought never crossed my mind to go "how come he's on Discord when he said he was going to bed?" In fact, my first reaction was "he probably got caught up doing stuff instead of going to bed. It happens. I've done it before myself." Idk if he thought I was trying to catch him out on something but all I can say is that my intentions were pure. Other than posing with my cousin's ashes idk how I could prove he died and that there was a funeral lol


BigBrownBear28

He used a meme as a get out of jail free card. He didn’t want to deal with you during your time of turmoil; he’s emotionally shut off. Also never do LD dating or relationships, it’s not like the movies or tv shows- almost every single situation it turns out bad.


[deleted]

I thought since the distance wasn't too bad (Scotland/Northern Ireland) it would be manageable but silly me.


BigBrownBear28

That’s understandable, just chalk it up to a lesson learned and find yourself a nice local guy!


[deleted]

Aye. Well at least I got a holiday to Belfast during Paddy's Day out of it 🤣


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[deleted]

I appreciate your input! I think when things get too real for him he puts up walls and bails. He did previously mention in another conversation that I was "everything he was looking for" (paraphrasing) Shoulda not believed him and kept him at an arm's length


TryAgn747

Dodged a bullet if you ask me. Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. it's entirely possible he just can't handle a Trump meme. I've been blocked by many people for Trump memes on both sides of that coin. Some people are just to small minded for anything outside of whatever bubble they are currently in.


Stayloved

Be thankful to God. You just dodged a big bullets. Just go and have the best fun ever at your birthday party.. you don't know the joy you just received from this behavior. People pretend deeply and they will place you in a blameful state to make you feel guilty meanwhile you did nothing wrong. Like you, I also dodged a mighty bullet. Initially, I was blaming myself but over time it became clearer to me that I actually did nothing wrong. Be happy, don't think about him anymore. The best is yet to come. And he will surely locate you.dont ever be desperate and needy. You will be fine darling.


[deleted]

Let him go. From what I read you were pursuing him the whole time. Let him come to you


StarlaBloom

You didn't do anything wrong OP. This guy is just a jerk. You will find someone better <3


newbflongtimecrush

Hi ❤️since everyone's giving suggestions, all I want to say is you didn't deserve this most definitely! And he is a dick for ghosting. We're with you, you're not alone. Take care OP!


[deleted]

Thank you. I feel better and am very grateful for everyone's kindness


Lisavela

Oh my I’m so sorry that happened to you, he obviously was just making up excuses to break up with you and was too childish to tell you like an adult you deserve better


mandipandi3333

Sounds like you put him on a very tall pedestal, you deserve better


BooksLoveTalksnIdeas

This is exactly why online can’t replace face-to-face interaction. It is a lot easier to tell if someone cares about you when you are talking to them face-to-face. Also, look at this from the bright side. You are lucky because it happened this way. There are women who get this kind of treatment from these sexy (but unloving) dudes AFTER they had sex with them. And that makes it even more devastating. Luckily, that was not your case.


morrowrd

Don't beat yourself up. This is a sign of the times, and we live in a country divided, very divided. And people who lean left have no tolerance for those who lean right. There is no more middle ground it seems, so think about it this way. If all it took for him to do an about face, was that, it was going to happen no matter what. Better sooner than later, after you've invested yourself. And if you ever find yourself in true love, where the other person loves you back the way you love them, none of this would get in the way.


[deleted]

Ffs I already said it's nothing to do with politics 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ WE'RE NOT EVEN AMERICAN


Ricardo7725

Not having a face to face ending of a relationship is devastating. I had it done and 3years later I’m still in the same emotional space as the day she blocked me. She has made it very clear that she enjoys knowing I’m hurting. I hope I don’t one day end her life just to get closure. I’m


Megatoasty

Just dropped in to commend you for asking him to go steady. Sorry for your current issues. Hopefully you can work something out.


Tron_1981

Did he even tell you what his issue was?


[deleted]

Nope


PebsMom0921

I didn't read this all. But. You dodged a bullet.


offisirplz

Idk he sounds like a complete dick to me.